Tween/Teen

  1. Tween/Teen My girlfriend is always bragging to me that her daughter is not on social media. According to my kid, the girl is. She is just doing it on the downlow. 3-19-2019 6:11am (8 replies)
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    • This post has been disliked 3 times. showWhen people brag about things like that, I will say things like, "I've always let my kids explore social media, because I feel like they need to learn how to manage it...(more) 3-19-2019 6:26am
      themselves."
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      • So you’re both sancti moms 3-19-2019 6:36am
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        • I'm not sure what's sancti about that. 3-19-2019 6:40am
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          • ^I wouldn't bring it up, but if someone's going to brag, I'll state what I do & why. 3-19-2019 6:41am
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    • Like many parents, she is scared of how her teen will navigate social media. Itnmakesnher feel better to invest in a belief that he...(more) 3-19-2019 6:45am
      Dc isn’t “interested.l. Not surprising her dc has a fina
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      • Girl also told my dd that a friend brings alcohol to school and they drink. It's not my place to say anything. Her dd is quiet, but I always got a sneaky vibe from her. 3-19-2019 6:52am
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        • And this is where I would talk to the mom. If my kid was drinking during school I would want to know 3-19-2019 6:55am
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        • np: you're an adult. you have a duty to protect the kids, and you have to be part of zero tolerance for this behavior. You want kids drinking at your child's school? 3-19-2019 6:59am
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  2. Tween/Teen Every time my daughter has a sleep over or playdate te with the girls from her school it ends up costing me a fortune, because the other kids show up with a wad of money. It's...(more) 3-19-2019 2:41am (9 replies)
    never just the movie. The kids want to go and eat afterward, etc. Feel stuck in the middle. Either my kids doesn't have outing/playdate or goes and I spend a fortune. She is to get together with a girl tomorrow and the girl already told her to bring money because they're going out to eat. You can't just eat pizza?
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    • This post has been deleted. 3-19-2019 5:30am
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    • Your kid can't navigate and talk w/friends to do something affordable? "I've got ten bucks. Let's grab pizza." 3-19-2019 6:50am
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      • That's what I say. I think it's insane. It's compounded by the other parents that support such endeavors. I'm not paying. 3-19-2019 6:51am
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        • The kids go out and have a sit down meal somewhere? 3-19-2019 6:52am
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          • Crazy, right? I put my foot down. Believe me. 3-19-2019 6:53am
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            • Yeah, it's crazy. My ds is that age, and he'll go out with friends. But they all go to like...a chinese restaurant and split 2 orders of dumplings or something like that. 3-19-2019 6:58am
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    • yes, that's a tough one. everything is so over the top compared to my childhood. 3-19-2019 7:03am
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      • Seriously, I can count the number of times during my childhood that my friends and I went to the movies. Most of the time we were hanging out in the yard or in my bedroom. 3-19-2019 7:08am
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  3. Tween/Teen A 14 yo boy asked my 14 yo dd out for hot chocolate about 6 weeks ago and she said yes. They were going to walk from school to a nearby Starbucks and talk. Plan was all set...(more) 3-10-2019 1:23am (4 replies)
    until the boy texted my dd the night before and said that his parents didn’t feel comfortable dating until HS (next year but school ends for us in May so pretty soon). The mom called me to explain, I think she felt bad. So my DD said ok, no problem and since they are really good friends she just assumed everything would be fine. But it’s not - he’s been acting weird, has been very hot and cold with her and has been way more moody than before. She is upset because they are in groups together and she isn’t sure how to act. Any idea what’s going on with him? She’s afraid he doesn’t like her and won’t ask her again in a few months. Any thoughts? I feel so bad. TIA.
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    • He’s embarrassed. And 14. 14yo girls are eons ahead of 14 yo boys. She should move on. 3-10-2019 1:44am
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      • They are very close friends and do a lot of the same activities - very hard to just turn things off. Anything I can tell her to maybe soothe her? 3-10-2019 3:24am
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    • he is embrassed that his parents did that. and then Mom called.... 3-10-2019 5:17am
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      • allthough, i like that the Mom called for a teen boy that was a big NO NO. mom of boys 3-10-2019 5:17am
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  4. Tween/Teen Hi - anyone on this Board? Have a situation I'd like to ask some advice on. 3-9-2019 2:09am (2 replies)
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    • Sure, I'm on 3-9-2019 5:32am
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      • Hi! Still on? It’s a teenage dating question and I think I will get flamed on the Toddler board lol. Still on? 3-9-2019 3:04pm
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  5. Tween/Teen Does your 6th grader manager her own social life? Set up get togethers and sleepovers? Decide who to hang out with? 2-25-2019 3:13pm (14 replies)
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    • yes, although obviously needs to check in with me about schedules and rides 2-25-2019 3:14pm
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    • No 2-25-2019 3:15pm
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    • Yes, but there has been some drama lately, so I am supporting her in her choices about how to spend her time 2-25-2019 3:17pm
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      • I struggle with this. 2-25-2019 3:19pm
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    • Yes. And when other moms try to set things up with my kid it is awkward. 2-25-2019 3:18pm
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      • np they're too old for that. they were too old for that in 3rd grade. 2-25-2019 3:19pm
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        • yes, my 3rd grader texts her friends and arranges places and times to meet, and just goes. so silly that moms would be involved at this age. 2-25-2019 3:21pm
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      • don't you need to know where your dc is going and with whom? I don't understand 2-25-2019 3:20pm
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        • np your kid tells you. but you organizing a kid's social life at this age is a hindrance, not a help. 2-25-2019 3:21pm
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          • They tell you? What if they need a ride?...(more) 2-25-2019 3:25pm
            I have middle schoolers. They ASK me. They better not just assume they will make whatever plans they like and I’ll rearrange our schedules to get them there!
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      • do you live in a small town? how do the kids get to each other's houses if the moms aren't involved? or do you mean that it's weird if the mom sets something up fro a kid who...(more) 2-25-2019 3:24pm
        hasn't spoken to your kid yet and she doesn't want to get together with that kid?
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      • amen. 7th grade dd has just one friend now who doesn't have a phone and her mom still texts me for "playdates" for her dd who's 5'7" 2-25-2019 3:27pm
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    • No, except with her closest friends. But she's a young 6th grader, so I think of her as more of a 5th grader. But it's awkward. I'm hoping that next year she'll suddenly become...(more) 2-25-2019 3:25pm
      more assertive about that stuff
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  6. Tween/Teen DS is sleeping in the nude - normal for tweens?...(more) 2-18-2019 3:30pm (29 replies)
    I posted about this a while ago not realizing it was in the toddler forum by mistake. Basically, I discovered my DS sleeping completely nude this morning. I get that men do this by the time they're adults but he's not even 12 yet. Thoughts? Do your tweens/teens still wear clothes to bed?
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    • Why do you care? 2-18-2019 3:31pm
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    • I’m so perplexed by this question. People sleep however it’s comfortable. 2-18-2019 3:31pm
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    • I am not trying to be gross but...honestly he's probably jerking off before bed and falls asleep and forgets to put clothes on 2-18-2019 3:32pm
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      • Not gross. Probably just the truth. 2-18-2019 3:48pm
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    • dh. i think it's normal 2-18-2019 3:32pm
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    • If that was my kid, I would tell him that he needs to at least wear boxers since others in the family may go in his room. Until he is 100% (not 99%) independent, and you never...(more) 2-18-2019 3:32pm
      have to wake him up or go in his room for reminders, he needs to wear something in bed.
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      • Why, do you tear off the covers and surprise your children typically? 12 you deserve a knock on the door before entering. 2-18-2019 3:33pm
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        • She said he was not covered and she went in to wake him. 2-18-2019 3:34pm
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          • She should knock and ask if she could come in. 2-18-2019 3:35pm
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            • Np: try that when you are waking him up. 2-18-2019 3:36pm
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              • I have difficult to wake up tween boys. I knock and yell until they say, “what? I’m up!” In exasperated tones. I don’t need to see or smell their 12 yo rooms for that. No thank...(more) 2-18-2019 3:37pm
                your they are beasts and also deserve privacy.
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                • Yeah, mind will not wake up with a simple knock on the door 2-18-2019 3:42pm
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                  • Yes, that’s why I added yelling. But I’m not going to go in there \!| I’m not going to tell a 12 yo how he should sleep. 2-18-2019 3:43pm
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                  • So what if they happen to be sleeping naked? 2-18-2019 3:44pm
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    • 1) Get him to a counselor 2) ask his friend's parents if their sons are doing it too. Does anyone else need my great advice? 2-18-2019 3:34pm
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    • We are all on toddler. 2-18-2019 3:34pm
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    • Everyone posts on toddler. You’re still telling the s to the same people as before 2-18-2019 3:35pm
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      • And yes, it’s normal 2-18-2019 3:35pm
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    • What exactly are you afraid of? 2-18-2019 3:36pm
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      • The one eyed monster 2-18-2019 3:43pm
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    • One of my dss sometimes does. It's awkward. I do not go in their rooms any longer when I knock to wake them up. I am traumatized by what I have already seen. 2-18-2019 3:39pm
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      • what did you see? 2-18-2019 3:46pm
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    • Ok, sorry. I didn't realize you all viewed toddler too. I'm also sorry there are so many people who think it's a stupid question. I was curious as to how normal it is. 2-18-2019 3:40pm
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      • ^ OP by the way. 2-18-2019 3:41pm
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      • Totally normal. Humans have enough trouble sleeping that they should do it however they are comfortable. And 12 yos deserve privacy. 2-18-2019 3:43pm
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        • I suppose you're right. I don't even know if he does it all the time anyway. 2-18-2019 6:26pm
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  7. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 2-14-2019 7:35pm (29 replies)
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    • so weird to ask that 2-14-2019 7:36pm
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      • Agree. Girl is all status / label conscious, so now I know where she gets it. 2-14-2019 7:37pm
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    • let it roll off for DD's sake 2-14-2019 7:36pm
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    • Why do you think she asked this? 2-14-2019 7:36pm
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      • Mom is all status conscious. But, yea, it's messed up. Daughter is riddle with problems and issues, so mom needs to re-focused her energy, really. 2-14-2019 7:38pm
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    • what did the text say exactly 2-14-2019 7:36pm
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    • just say no to sleepovers 2-14-2019 7:37pm
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    • How do you know this? 2-14-2019 7:37pm
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      • DD saw the text. 2-14-2019 7:37pm
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        • oh, she asked her own child? Come on. 2-14-2019 7:37pm
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          • Come on? You don't believe it? 2-14-2019 7:40pm
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            • I do, it's not a big deal. Your post implied she sent it to you. 2-14-2019 7:40pm
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              • Go back and re-read. "Girl's mom texted her during the sleepover...." 2-14-2019 7:42pm
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    • why on earth would the mom ask this? 2-14-2019 7:37pm
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    • Oh how did you see that? Our apt sucks and I don’t worry about this fwiw. I once picked Ds up and they said Lucas said his room is the size of our laundry room? And I said yup!...(more) 2-14-2019 7:37pm
      Sounds about right!
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      • ^i always ask about ppl’s apartments - but wait until after 2-14-2019 7:38pm
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        • that I can see. But, really, text during the sleep over. 2-14-2019 7:39pm
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          • Yeah I mean whatever 2-14-2019 7:49pm
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    • is it possible that they, too, have a small apartment? 2-14-2019 7:38pm
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      • No. They live in a penthouse on the UES. They have money. Believe me. Have their own biz. 2-14-2019 7:39pm
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    • How did you see this text? 2-14-2019 7:43pm
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      • Phone was sitting out on the open on the counter and I was standing nearby making dinner when it popped up. 2-14-2019 7:46pm
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    • Eh. You have to let these things roll off. Who cares what the mom asked her kid. You seem to know she has a big apartment. How do you know this 2-14-2019 7:48pm
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    • I know so many wealthy people with huge homes and I can’t imagine any one of them giving a second thought to the size of someone else’s house, especially someone they don’t really...(more) 2-14-2019 7:50pm
      Know
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      • Me too. Which is why I found it strange. 2-14-2019 7:58pm
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    • I live in a 2 BR small-ish apartment on the UWS. I really don't care what others think of my place. 2-14-2019 7:51pm
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    • This would. Ot bother me one bit 2-14-2019 7:51pm
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      • OP: It probably wouldn't have bothered me so much if the girl, who has some problems and was getting on my nerves. 2-14-2019 7:59pm
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  8. Tween/Teen Boxed in high school...(more) 2-12-2019 2:18pm (5 replies)
    More of a vent post. I wish our high school was more progressive. They are so old school in their thoughts of how a curriculum should be run. It is impossible to move ahead in courses (summer school or outside curriculum) and it impacts college choices. They will not give outside credit, meanwhile districts around us allow this. They lock in a student's choice of math curriculum in middle school. Impossible to get ahead in high school. I can't wait for it all to be over.
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    • What is your district? 2-12-2019 2:19pm
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      • Westchester would love to move but not possible at moment 2-12-2019 2:33pm
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    • Your kid is a genius and needs to be more advanced? 2-12-2019 2:20pm
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      • - no subject -...(more) 2-12-2019 2:29pm
        No just very boxed in. Loves math and is feeling defeated by what is offered. We tried everything to move up a level but they wouldn't allow it even though child is an A student. Needs the other math track for engineering. Would even take summer classes to move up the correct level but they won't accept any advancement opportunities. How old school?
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    • the TT colleges know the different High schools and will recognize this 2-12-2019 2:21pm
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  9. Tween/Teen My daughter had an assignment that was due at midnight, and tried to do it at 8:30pm, but was already locked out and told it was past due. I'm inclined to believe this is her...(more) 2-11-2019 12:35am (11 replies)
    fault. It was assigned on the 3rd, and she had not even started it.
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    • how old? 2-11-2019 12:36am
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    • live and learn 2-11-2019 12:51am
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    • conseqences 2-11-2019 12:51am
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    • why are you involved? 2-11-2019 12:51am
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      • Daughter is 15, not an adult daughter 2-11-2019 12:58am
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      • Because she's three feet away from me... 2-11-2019 1:55am
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      • I hate this kind of parent who pretends moral superiority because they are less involved in their kids life. 2-11-2019 9:43am
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  10. Tween/Teen I think I just need to vent....(more) 2-10-2019 12:18am (25 replies)
    15 year old told us yesterday she made plans with a friend. Then today went to her friend's house. Later in the afternoon asked if she could stay for dinner. After, she asked if she could spend the night. We said yes, and DH asked me if I wanted to have a cocktail with dinner since we didn't need to drive her. She then called DH and asked him to bring her items from home. He said no. She got angry and called me. I said no, but offered to call her an Uber to come home. She freaked out, called me irresponsible, said I never listen to her. DH was then talking to me and had left his phone in the other room. She called me, insisting he was throwing a temper tantrum and pouting by ignoring her call. Then asked what kind of charger her phone takes and hung up on me after I told her. Then she called back again and said she figured it out and they had a charger for her phone and she'd see us tomorrow, and ended by saying she loved us.
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    • um 2-10-2019 12:18am
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    • Jesus. Sorry she sounds fucking annoying 2-10-2019 12:19am
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    • Teenagers can be dramatic like this, but I would have stopped her once she went off bounds and became disrespectful or ridiculous. Ultimately she had to deal- there was nothing...(more) 2-10-2019 12:22am
      more to discuss.
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    • You should have sent an Uber for her ass. 2-10-2019 12:23am
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      • nah, ignore her 2-10-2019 12:24am
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    • you would let your teen ride in an uber alone? 2-10-2019 12:24am
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      • Yes, I'd let her ride an Uber alone. She did not want to take an Uber. 2-10-2019 12:37am
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    • I don't understand. when my teens says can I spend the night and hasn't packed, we discuss whether she has what she needs. didn't you do that originally? why did dh say no? 2-10-2019 12:25am
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      • Did you read the OP? She asked to sleep over while already there 2-10-2019 12:25am
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        • right. and so I would say, do you need stuff, do you have stuff? 2-10-2019 12:26am
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          • And how do you propose she gets said stuff if her parents are unable or unwilling to be at her beck and call 2-10-2019 12:27am
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            • I guess we are more at a beck and call. how do you propose a 15yo get around on their own? depends what is happening and what time it is. 2-10-2019 12:33am
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      • He said no to bringing her stuff because if we ubered out there, we would just bring her back with us. 2-10-2019 12:37am
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        • ok. that seems a little weird to me, but it sounds like your life is complicated if your dds friend is so far. 2-10-2019 12:40am
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        • why would you do that? the uber thing is weird, but if you went, you could drop it off, or not, its the same distance. I feel like some parents get into this weird power struggle...(more) 2-10-2019 12:41am
          with teens like "You don't need my help now, you are a teen" when they are still dependent on you for a lot.
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          • Because he wasn't going to Uber out there, Uber back, and then drive out there to get her in the morning as well. 2-10-2019 12:44am
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            • its a pain, having teens. and then they are gone. poof. 2-10-2019 12:46am
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            • Duh. That would be my response too. 2-10-2019 3:17am
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    • She overreacted and then felt bad about it. nbd 2-10-2019 12:26am
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    • normal teenage stuff. Ignore. And also ignore the person above who suggested it's your fault that she forgot her charger. 2-10-2019 12:27am
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      • She actually never said it was that she didn't have her charger. She takes pills and insisted she needed them when I said she could get them tomorrow. She told DH he wanted to...(more) 2-10-2019 12:41am
        give her cancer. (Not going to happen... she'd have to go without taking her meds for years before she'd get an increased cancer risk.) Then she was fine with taking her pills in the morning once she was given a compatible charger.
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    • you can drink after one cocktail.... 2-10-2019 12:40am
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      • haha. I mean drive. or drink 2-10-2019 12:40am
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        • Lol. That's what she said. To just drink some water and get over there. But it had two shots in it, so I wouldn't have felt comfortable driving. 2-10-2019 12:42am
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    • She had a little tantrum, you did the right thing and she's fine. When we have an unexpected sleepover DD offers her guest pjs or a t-shirt to sleep in and we have some guest...(more) 2-10-2019 2:35am
      toothbrushes.
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  11. Tween/Teen Hager werken embalming compound powder for sale +27640518120...(more) 2-9-2019 2:41am (0 replies)
    Hager werken embalming powder +27640518120 (pink and white) compound/fluids for sale in south Africa Hager Werken Embalming Compounds, Pink and white Powder are General items from Germany. Embalming is the art and science of preserving human remains by treating them in its modern form with chemicals to forestall decomposition. The intention is to keep them suitable for public display at a funeral,for religious reasons, or for medical and scientific purposes such as their use as anatomical specimens. Embalming compound in powder form both PINK and WHITE Radio active and (HOT and not HOT) its all available. At preferably adorable prices Starting from one kilogram upwards ,We are looking for a good buyer. Typically embalming compound (fluid) contains a mixture of formaldehyde, methanol, and other solvents. The formaldehyde content generally ranges from 50 to 97 percent and the methanol content may range from 9 to 89 percent.The types of embalming powder depends on the purity and co
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  12. Tween/Teen DD can only take between 15 to 20 minutes of college talk. How often would you schedule a fifteen minutes to block to talk to her? 2-8-2019 7:22pm (17 replies)
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    • how old and why the short attention? 2-8-2019 7:24pm
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      • 16. She loathes me talking to her about this stuff, but there is deadlines. 2-8-2019 7:25pm
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        • OK, but what is behind the loathing? Is she a poor student? Is she unsure about college? 2-8-2019 7:26pm
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          • She's not a poor student. But a B student, won't participate in extracurriculars, etc. But she likes taking on more academically than she has to. She is very certain about...(more) 2-8-2019 7:29pm
            college, but doesn't like talking to me about it.
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            • Maybe she can work with a college advisor on this? Sounds like there is conflict between you two. 2-8-2019 7:35pm
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        • ^are deadlines. 2-8-2019 7:27pm
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    • Why - is she too anxious. 2-8-2019 7:27pm
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      • She can be anxious. She is a poor test taker, though I've been told on here that means there is grade inflation at her high school. 2-8-2019 7:31pm
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        • Does she have any relatives in college- maybe she could visit and get a sense of college life? 2-8-2019 7:41pm
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        • There are colleges that are test optional- lots of good ones 2-8-2019 7:44pm
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    • With one, we talked semi-regularly about it but I absolutely never pressed. The other, rarely. Its fine, what do you need to talk about all the time? 2-8-2019 7:28pm
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      • For right now, we need to talk about the fact she said she wants to sign up for a summer program. She needs to write her essays if she really wants to do this 2-8-2019 7:32pm
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        • well, if she wants to do it she will. If not, she won't. 2-8-2019 7:33pm
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        • You cant drag her to do this. Just reminder her of the deadline and say you are available to help out if she needs it. Then let her be 2-8-2019 7:36pm
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    • Do not schedule it. Do it at times when she is responsive and in good mood. 2-8-2019 7:32pm
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      • Then I will be waiting forever. 2-8-2019 7:33pm
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        • Hire a consultant to work with her. Impress upon her that if she doesn't talk about it, how can she apply? 2-8-2019 7:38pm
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  13. Tween/Teen The popular/mean girl has been sick all week, so naturally her friend has suddenly saddled up to my lone wolfe daughter. Before the girl had pretty much ignore my daughter....(more) 2-8-2019 6:37am (12 replies)
    They're to have a sleep over tonight and my dd, of course is thrilled. I'm already anticipating the pain and heartache my dd will experience when the girl dumps her upon the popular/mean girl's return to school. I know this all pety, middle school drama. But I been a ring side witness to this drama for a year and god is draining.
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    • This seems unbelievable 2-8-2019 6:42am
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      • Not following you....how so? 2-8-2019 6:46am
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        • That just because her BFF is out sick the girl wants a sleepover with someone she doesn’t normally hang out with 2-8-2019 6:53am
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          • Np then you must not have a middle school daughter. 2-8-2019 6:54am
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            • We’ve made it to high school thanks. 2-8-2019 6:55am
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            • Really. This -hit is par for the course with these girls. They're master manipulators. 2-8-2019 7:01am
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    • Who knows how it will go. Just support your dd. I feel your pain though. 2-8-2019 6:43am
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    • She will survive. Try not to be so emotionally invested. We all survived this shit. 2-8-2019 6:51am
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    • I would have told my daughter no to the sleepover. Have you discussed the situation with her? Where is the sleepover? 2-8-2019 6:59am
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      • It's a very small private school and it's been a year of very high drama, which I find emotionally exhaustings as I work from home so often have a ring side seat to it. I told y...(more) 2-8-2019 7:04am
        told my daughter I was hesitant to say yes and we spoke openly about the situation. I reminded her of who the girl was, her past history, etc..... Now I'm trying to steer clear.
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    • You should have said no to the sleepover 2-8-2019 7:03am
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    • Talk to her about about it. “I hope Lily is learning she can be friends with two people at once” 2-8-2019 7:15am
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  14. Tween/Teen I have a teen who hates me and talks about emancipation. I saw an e-mail today that she can apply for a summer residential program for a university. I can only think of pros. Will...(more) 2-7-2019 4:07pm (33 replies)
    you guys give me some cons?
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    • is she 13or 17? 2-7-2019 4:07pm
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      • You have to turn 16 before June something or other 2019. She turns 16 in April. 2-7-2019 4:08pm
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        • well these summer programs are what most kids that age do. so i don't seethe harm, all other issues aside.... 2-7-2019 4:09pm
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          • There is a commuter program, too. So, I guess I'm trying to convince myself that the whole thing would be selfish because it might feel nice for me to have her stay in a dorm for...(more) 2-7-2019 4:12pm
            eight weeks.
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            • oh good lord no. it will be better for both of you if she goes. 2-7-2019 4:13pm
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              • That feels good to read. Really. Trying to love bomb someone this angry makes it hard to...(more) 2-7-2019 4:21pm
                recognize when things will feel good to me can also feel good to her.
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    • how old is she and why does she hate you? 2-7-2019 4:07pm
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      • She's 15. I actually do think I'm an awful parent. She reminds me every day, just in case I forget. But my husband's great and so are the younger kids and she hates them, too. So,...(more) 2-7-2019 4:11pm
        Some might be the age. Or hormones. Birth control. Accutane.
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        • what makes you so awful? i sort of get it, but your dd also sounds pretty angry and i honestly can't believe you are that bad 2-7-2019 4:12pm
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          • I went through a major depressive episode in 2018, and we got into a fight where I said awful things to her that I can't even remember in specifics, but it was like ringing a bell...(more) 2-7-2019 4:19pm
            that can't be unrung. So, I get it. But everyone else has been great to her, and she's just figuratively punching in every direction. But she still is doing well at school and maintaining friendships. She just hates her home and its occupants.
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            • NP: My dh went through a depression that almost sank us. He was an asshole to all when going through it. My teenage son will throw it in his face when he's angry. He hasn't dealt...(more) 2-7-2019 4:21pm
              with it - hasn't been able to come to terms with how it took away from us. My suggestion: go to therapy - the two of you. Talk it out with help. Bring in other family members when it's time.
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              • We are doing therapy, but she has opted out of the family sessions. We've been trying to find her an in network "youngish" woman who is taking on new clients and doesn't just deal...(more) 2-7-2019 4:25pm
                with adolescent issues, but actually sees adolescents. I would have previously thought this wasn't so hard. But it is. The family therapist said to not be so picky: make her see a man, go out of network, etc.
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                • Will the family therapist see her alone to see why she won't participate? If not, get her anyone. She needs to vent. 2-7-2019 4:28pm
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                  • She doesn't want to see the family therapist because he's a man. It sounded very easy for him to say "make her." 2-7-2019 4:40pm
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                    • ah - find her any woman then and know that she may not click with her - you need a good fit 2-7-2019 4:41pm
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        • So she's 15 and on birth control? 2-7-2019 4:13pm
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          • np: many, many teens this age are, for acne and bad periods. before you get all judgedy 2-7-2019 4:14pm
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          • NP-may have to with Accutane 2-7-2019 4:14pm
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            • Yes, the dermatologist would have wanted her on birth control even if her bloodwork hadn't showed a hormonal imbalance. 2-7-2019 4:39pm
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          • Yes, she has PCOS. She didn't get a period until she was 15, but then bled nonstop for a couple months. 2-7-2019 4:27pm
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        • I don't think accutane is good for someone moody... 2-7-2019 4:15pm
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          • My ex's little brother was nearly suicidal on it 2-7-2019 4:17pm
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            • yeah, I actually don't understand why it's being prescribed so much. 2-7-2019 4:17pm
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              • IDK. He did have pretty severe cystic acne, so I can understand in his case. 2-7-2019 4:19pm
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          • I'm the OP and I agree. She and my husband were on some kind of campaign over it. 2-7-2019 4:38pm
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        • What does she say she's mad about specifically? Examples 2-7-2019 4:15pm
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          • Specifically the fight we had in 2018. She's said she hates that she has to think about my feelings before her own. I don't know with my husband. She hates that most of the time...(more) 2-7-2019 4:48pm
            he does stuff that makes her happy, but there is any amount of time where he doesn't make her happy. So, like she texted him that he had a piece of paper of hers. He couldn't find it, so he came back home and looked for it. He texted her and she asked him to come to school and help her look for it. He said no and she said a bunch of expletives, told him he was useless, etc.
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    • What's the issue? Why does he/she want emancipation? 2-7-2019 4:08pm
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    • what do you mean? it's not clear. she wants to go away for the summer? 2-7-2019 4:09pm
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      • No, she's never asked to go away. She just says she hates her family, hates her home, needs to get away from us. 2-7-2019 4:41pm
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    • My son has talked about it but he's ADHD/Anxiety and once meds were adjusted and regular therapy was happening, it subsided. He thought I was totally unreasonable with...(more) 2-7-2019 4:10pm
      expectations and didn't listen to him. I had to make some compromises and things are better
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    • This post has been deleted. 2-7-2019 4:20pm
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    • - no subject -...(more) 2-26-2019 1:20pm
      I have 5 kids, all grown now. But my middle son gave us a bad time. He started disrespecting us and said he didn't need parents. It's a long story but what we learned is that as the parents, you have to continue to do what's right no matter what she says or thinks. You have the right to teach, discipline, and protect her until she's 18. A police officer came out because our son had run away and told him that the law says he has to listen to and obey us under the current laws. Or risk going to juvenile detention. *Today he's a police officer, soldier, parent and Christian. All you can do is guide them in what's right. They don't have to like it!
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  15. Tween/Teen Does your teen receive and allowance, and how much? DD never wants anything, but we think she should have an allowance we just don't know what amount. 2-6-2019 5:45pm (3 replies)
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    • no, they have tons of cash from Xmas and bdays 2-6-2019 5:46pm
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    • My 12yo gets $10/week. I don't monitor what she spends it on. But she also babysits. Made $40 yesterday :) 2-6-2019 5:46pm
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      • ^and they don't get money for holidays or birthdays 2-6-2019 5:46pm
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  16. Tween/Teen Majors for a future programmer other than computer science?...(more) 2-6-2019 4:00pm (23 replies)
    I'm trying not to talk overmuch about college to my high schooler, so I'll put this out into the interwebs instead. DC wants to major in Computer Science, but only wants to apply to schools where the acceptance as a Computer Science major is 5%-8%. I want to present other options, but worry it will be perceived as saying "I don't believe in you."
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    • Have him apply to less selective schools too 2-6-2019 4:01pm
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      • I know, but if I'm looking at the top four choices, I think it would be easiest to get into one as a Linguistics major, another as a Philosophy major, and the other two as Math...(more) 2-6-2019 4:18pm
        majors.
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    • My dc was a computer science major. You can major in it at any school - you don't have to go to one with a specific CS program. 2-6-2019 4:03pm
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      • I know. It just seems like a waste when many of the same classes are available for less impacted majors. 2-6-2019 4:24pm
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        • I'm the OR and I don't know what you mean. 2-6-2019 4:34pm
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    • IT manager. It was my ds minor at SBU 2-6-2019 4:03pm
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      • What's SBU? 2-6-2019 4:04pm
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        • Stony Brook U 2-6-2019 4:04pm
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          • Aah nice. I've heard great things about it. What does DC do now? 2-6-2019 4:05pm
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            • Finance and Accounting 2-6-2019 4:05pm
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              • Does DC like it? My DS loves math and has been considering this. 2-6-2019 4:06pm
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                • He is very good at it. But it's long hours and tight deadlines. Not for everyone 2-6-2019 4:10pm
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                  • and doesn't pay much 2-6-2019 4:11pm
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                    • I didn't realize it didn't pay much. I thought it was a lucrative career. 2-6-2019 4:13pm
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                      • np - What? Accounting? 2-6-2019 4:36pm
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    • If DC wants to do computer science, this can be done at less selective programs. Other option are information systems, math, computer engineering or data science. 2-6-2019 4:03pm
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    • Classics. Seriously. Or philosophy. 2-6-2019 4:06pm
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    • So far, I think the easiest major to get into would be Philosophy, with a specialization in Logic. After that, probably Linguistics with a specialization in Computation. Or some...(more) 2-6-2019 4:06pm
      schools have a Linguistics and Computer Science major. Cognitive Science looks promising. And it's still difficult to get in as a Mathematics or Physics major, but easier than getting in as a Computer Science major.
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      • No: I know a linguist who works at Google. 2-6-2019 4:07pm
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      • np - You really don't have to apply to a math department or a physics department fwiw. I have no idea what you're talking about there. 2-6-2019 4:09pm
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        • She already has 55 units of college and is working on more, so (in theory) can apply next year as either a first time frame or transfer applicant....(more) 2-6-2019 4:33pm
          The profiles of transfer applicants at her target schools are very discouraging.
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    • Communications. Film. Tv. Marketing. Advertising. 2-6-2019 4:11pm
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  17. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 1-29-2019 12:33pm (8 replies)
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    • Yes it is quite competitive. Unless you are a star athlete in which case it is quite a bit easier. 1-29-2019 12:35pm
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      • lol, I know a kid that went there to play his sport 1-29-2019 12:35pm
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      • what if he is more academic? and we have a connection? 1-29-2019 12:36pm
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        • well of course...that is the type that goes there...academic with connections... 1-29-2019 12:42pm
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          • do you think good Isee scores is better than grades or vice versa? 1-29-2019 12:44pm
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            • as with college, grades for sure...but connections trumps all 1-29-2019 12:45pm
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              • ok thanks sorry for all the questions 1-29-2019 12:47pm
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    • yes. 1-29-2019 12:35pm
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  18. Tween/Teen LREI - Why do you like it? 1-26-2019 9:39pm (1 reply)
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    • Ask on toddler 1-26-2019 9:43pm
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  19. Tween/Teen Why are high schoolers so lightly dressed?...(more) 1-12-2019 1:09am (22 replies)
    My daughter is a freshman in high school, and when she walks to school she wears insulated winter boots, snow pants, a down jacket, and a knee length down parka (with the hood up). A lot of other students at her school barely wear anything at all, I even see some without coats!
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    • you want everyone to say, oh those sluts are like all sluts, just wearing as little as possible 1-12-2019 1:23am
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      • It’s not slurry clothing, just clothing that doesn’t seem weather appropriate 1-12-2019 1:24am
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        • I have been freezing at high school in my uniform pieces, and later hot in an office in anything but sleeveless. I have to leave the house without layers to cool down enough. Some...(more) 1-12-2019 1:26am
          people feel the cold; some people run HOT.
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          • My point is that students aren’t dressed warm when they’re outside in the freezing cold 1-12-2019 1:29am
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            • my other point is that some people don't really feel cold until they are adults 1-12-2019 1:32am
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              • Whether you feel the cold or not, it’s dangerous for your health 1-12-2019 1:38am
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                • lol, no it isn't. otherwise millions of middle school and HS kids would be dead. 1-12-2019 8:13am
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                  • They do get sick though 1-12-2019 9:55am
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    • My son is in middle school and it’s the same story for me 1-12-2019 1:23am
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    • Bizarre that she dresses like that. Is she anemic? 1-12-2019 6:04am
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      • Why is that bizarre? 1-12-2019 7:46am
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        • overkill. especially for a HS kid. 1-12-2019 8:13am
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          • I do not think it’s overkill, it keeps her warm 1-12-2019 9:56am
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    • My ds refuses to wear a winter coat. 1-12-2019 7:28am
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      • I hope it’s not cold then! 1-12-2019 7:47am
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    • snowpants for a wlak to school? that is strange. 1-12-2019 8:12am
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      • It’s very cold, the snow pants keep her legs warm 1-12-2019 9:57am
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    • Does she take that stuff off at school? I took dd to a ha interview last year and one girl kept her large down parka on for the interview. I think she felt insulated and safe...(more) 1-12-2019 8:16am
      but it came across as odd.
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      • Yeah she does. And that is strange, what kind of interview was it? 1-12-2019 9:58am
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    • Young warm blood 1-12-2019 9:57am
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      • That blood won’t keep them from getting sick 1-12-2019 9:58am
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    • where do you live? are you the mom who posts all the time about snow pants? 1-12-2019 10:57am
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  20. Tween/Teen Posted about this before. Tween got dumped by her BFF for the popular girl. She's no in a clique of girls who want nothing to do with my DD. It's a very, very small school, so...(more) 1-9-2019 9:34am (9 replies)
    she has few choices. However, she keeps reaching out to the BFF and clique, trying to generate interest, friendship, etc, only to be 'dissed again and again. Like, she recently asked the former BFF if she join her and the other girls for an event and the BFF texted: "Don't know." Told her to stop reach out, get off social media, etc.... Painful to watch. Suggestions?
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    • that sounds awful 1-9-2019 9:35am
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    • She needs to move on. It sucks. I'm sorry 1-9-2019 9:35am
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    • bigger school 1-9-2019 9:35am
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    • Step back. Encourage outside of school friendships. I know how hard it is. 1-9-2019 9:36am
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    • How old? Will she switch schools soon? 1-9-2019 9:37am
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    • tell her she doesn't want to be friends with assholes anyway. hopefully she's getting colse to going to a bigger school. 1-9-2019 9:37am
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    • She'll change schools next year. The school is very, very small, so she doesn't have options for other friends. I've tried everything -- encouraged outside interests, forced a...(more) 1-9-2019 9:43am
      no social media rule, told her she doesn't want to be with people who aren't kind, etc. She is drawn to them like a moth to light and it's painful. I can't seem to throw my hands up and say, "That's her journey and I did all I can do?"
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    • Oh that stinks. Has she read Wonder? The girl in there goes through similar shit and it could be...(more) 1-9-2019 9:48am
      helpful. And can she get involved in things outside of school--make friends elsewhere? And, family time! Remind her that family is the most important bond to have. Do super fun stuff, take her on a trip, etc. Any quiet or more independent people in school she could invite to hang out? Even adults deal with this shit... I did just a few years ago and am in a much better place now. GL
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  21. Tween/Teen DD brought a dress (gift card) not really appropriate for the school dance. It's way too formal. Tried saying something, but she's digging in her heels. Let and go and let her...(more) 1-9-2019 8:17am (14 replies)
    Let it go? Or put my mommy foot down?
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    • It’s fine 1-9-2019 8:18am
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    • Let it go unless its inappropriate because it's too revealing 1-9-2019 8:19am
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    • Better over dressed than under dressed. If she wants to wear it, what’s the problem? 1-9-2019 8:19am
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    • What’s your problem? 1-9-2019 8:19am
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    • Mean mom. 1-9-2019 8:20am
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    • Why would you bother putting your mommy foot down? What’s this really about? 1-9-2019 8:22am
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    • I assume you were trying to save her from embarrassment. I would not do that with authority, but perhaps you can lay some breadcrumbs for her to follow and arrive at the conclusion herself that it is...(more) 1-9-2019 8:25am
      I assume you were trying to save her from embarrassment. I would not do that with authority, but perhaps you can lay some breadcrumbs for her to follow and arrive at the conclusion herself that it is too formal. Why don’t you suggest she poll five of her closest friends and see if they think it is in line with the dance?
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    • Nah when she comes home embarrassed you can just say I told ya so! 1-9-2019 8:27am
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      • wow, that's a great way to think. 1-9-2019 8:27am
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    • Who did she go shopping with? 1-9-2019 8:27am
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    • Let it go - I'd only step in if it was inappropriate (ie, slutty looking) 1-9-2019 8:27am
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    • Send her with a cardigan so she can dress it down. 1-9-2019 8:29am
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    • OP: DD is adhd so doesn't have great social skills, which is why I worry. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't care. 1-9-2019 8:43am
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      • let her be her own person. 1-9-2019 8:44am
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  22. Tween/Teen Where to find snow suits large enough for teens?...(more) 1-6-2019 5:07pm (7 replies)
    I have two kids who are both in their teen years and have grown out of their snow suits, I’ve neen having trouble finding larger ones that will fit.
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    • how about just snow pants 1-6-2019 5:07pm
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      • and a ski jacket. 1-6-2019 5:08pm
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        • I don’t like ski jackets, they’re too short 1-6-2019 5:10pm
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      • Great idea thanks! 1-6-2019 5:09pm
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    • snow suits? lol 1-6-2019 5:12pm
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      • What’s funny about that 1-6-2019 5:25pm
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        • When I think of snowsuits I think of babies and toddlers. Funny thinking of a teen in a snowsuit. You mean snow pants? 1-6-2019 5:30pm
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  23. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 1-6-2019 10:01am (12 replies)
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    • I don’t allow it. That’s all. 1-6-2019 10:02am
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      • ^^havr a 10 and 13yo. Neither have it. 1-6-2019 10:02am
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        • how do you control it? do you have a parental control app or something? 1-6-2019 10:03am
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          • No. iPads and phones are kept in a common area of the house. Kids have to ask permission (through parental controls) to download apps. 1-6-2019 10:05am
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            • ^^and they know we can check their phones and iPads whenever we choose. (We don’t really. But we can) 1-6-2019 10:06am
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            • at what age will you loosen up? do you have a plan? 1-6-2019 10:06am
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              • I’m thinking high school. As I said below my oldest hasn’t really shown interest. So until he does- I won’t bring it up. If he never does then fine. Younger one asks about it all...(more) 1-6-2019 10:09am
                the time. She definitely won’t be getting it until at least 14.
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                • ok. i would be careful about being too restrictive. you might inadvertently create a monster. 1-6-2019 10:13am
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                  • Ok. Thanks for your input. I can raise my own kids. 1-6-2019 10:17am
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                    • i am not trying to raise them. i am just saying making something a forbidden fruit can have a downside. 1-6-2019 10:20am
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        • Really? 1-6-2019 10:04am
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          • Yes really. They are too young, IMO. Maybe next year for my oldest. But he’s. It really interested. So until he shows interest I won’t Bring it up 1-6-2019 10:07am
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  24. Tween/Teen Is there a way I could get the school to give my daughter a bigger locker?...(more) 12-26-2018 10:30pm (16 replies)
    My daughter has been complaining that her locker at school is too small to fit her winter gear into. I saw her locker on parent teacher night and it is small, too small to fit her winter boots, coats, and snow pants. Do you think if I contacted the principal she would be able to help?
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    • hahahahahahhahahahahaah 12-26-2018 10:31pm
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    • How do other students manage? 12-26-2018 10:32pm
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      • yeah...maybe don't have any locker accessories in there. 12-26-2018 10:33pm
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      • They mostly get driven to school, so they don’t wear as much winter gear 12-26-2018 10:37pm
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    • how old is your dc? 12-26-2018 10:32pm
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    • Boots can sit outside the locker right in front 12-26-2018 10:35pm
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      • if in elementary school, they normally do this. They make them all sit on a floor mat 12-26-2018 10:36pm
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        • She’s in middle school, but I’ll ask her to f she can do that 12-26-2018 10:38pm
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          • boots go in the bottom of the locker. coat gets scrunched in there. I'm not sure why this is an issue. 12-26-2018 10:40pm
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          • Do kids in middle school still get time to play at recess? My middle schooler who is in sixth grade has half an hour for lunch and recess so he never even goes out. Plus half...(more) 12-26-2018 10:45pm
            the kids I see going in don’t have jackets let alone snow gear
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            • Most kids are undressed for the weather, but I make sure my daughter is properly bundled up 12-26-2018 10:53pm
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    • Does she walk a far distance to school? 12-26-2018 10:41pm
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      • It’s a 30 minute walk 12-26-2018 10:45pm
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    • Omg it’s not snowing yet wtf ? 12-26-2018 11:32pm
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    • no 12 yo wears snow pants to school. 12-27-2018 7:28am
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  25. Tween/Teen How many ED apps do the typical top students submit these days? 12-17-2018 9:43pm (10 replies)
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    • what? 12-17-2018 9:44pm
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    • they can only do one. it's ED 12-17-2018 9:44pm
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    • One 12-17-2018 9:44pm
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    • one. 12-17-2018 9:44pm
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    • 1 12-17-2018 9:44pm
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    • fuck you 12-17-2018 9:44pm
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    • one 12-17-2018 9:45pm
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    • How many eyes does the one-eyed man have? 12-17-2018 9:45pm
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    • early decision is a commitment to one school. early action gives you early knowledge but not a commitment. if you dont get into your ed some schools allow for an ed2, a second...(more) 12-17-2018 9:45pm
      crack
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    • One, plus maybe a couple early action 12-17-2018 9:46pm
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