Tween/Teen

  1. Tween/Teen 14 year old daughter wants to date a They…...(more) 11-2-2021 7:53pm (9 replies)
    My 14 year old, never been kissed, daughter, who ALWAYS liked boys, a few months ago stated she is bi (with a preference for boys). All her school friends are either gay, bi, pan, They, etc- so call me crazy for being skeptical. Recently she said her good friend, who is a They (bio girl), wants to ask out my daughter, and my daughter says she would say yes. I know it’s not cool, but I am not okay with my daughter’s first date being with a They. I just want to run away from home, or at least to the nearest bar.
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    • where do you live? this seems unusual. 11-2-2021 7:54pm
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    • your poor child, having a shit parent is hard. hopefully her father accepts her and lets her live her life. 11-2-2021 7:54pm
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    • re-lax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 11-2-2021 7:55pm
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    • You suck 11-2-2021 7:56pm
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    • you are lucky she is talking to you about all of this. Be thankful your dd trusts you and confides in you. And repeat after me: the only thing that matters is that she's happy....(more) 11-2-2021 7:57pm
      she is young and trying to figure out who she is. support her.
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    • She's 14; it's not a lifetime commitment. Who knows where she'll settle out down the road. 11-2-2021 7:58pm
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    • Dont worry mama. Its not a big thing. It will amount to nothing. Its all experimenting and talk these days. Support her. Let her be. Its just a story and a moment. 11-2-2021 8:04pm
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    • Its not cool. And you know this. So back away. It will not stick. She's 14 and is sorting out who she is. its her life. It wont be a big thing. Let go a little. 11-2-2021 8:05pm
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    • This is a phase they all go through. It's fine. Keep your biases to yourself or she will rebel. 11-2-2021 8:06pm
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  2. Tween/Teen Looking for online test prep for ISEE, ideally with lots of practice tests. My DD has gone through all the practice tests on Test Innovators 10-28-2021 12:17pm (2 replies)
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    • does Huntington learning center have online? 10-28-2021 12:19pm
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    • I used a HALLOWEEN code for Atom Learning, lots of practice tests 10-29-2021 7:03am
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  3. Tween/Teen Is Hamilton college worth the huge price tag for a liberal arts education? 10-28-2021 11:32am (3 replies)
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    • not unless you're wealthy, no. 10-28-2021 11:32am
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    • yes. 10-28-2021 11:40am
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    • Yes. It’s a great SLAC and kids who want a SLAC will thrive on small class sizes and relationships with profs. Not possible at state university first year. 10-28-2021 11:40am
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  4. Tween/Teen Educational evaluator in Bergen County...(more) 10-27-2021 6:30pm (0 replies)
    looking for a person to do an evaluation for an IEP that you have used.
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  5. Tween/Teen Neighbors...(more) 10-24-2021 12:59pm (9 replies)
    We moved to a new house in a community last month. there are brothers who live next door and knock on our door a few times a week wanting to hang out. The first few times we invited them in but they’re older than my kids, my kids don’t want to hang out with them, and they usually show up at meal times. We’ve never seen or met their parents so it’s surprising to me that 11 and 9yos are just looking to hang out. what’s a polite way to ask them not to come back? Last time I told them to only come over if our kids are playing in the front yard
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    • Sounds like you moved into a city with a different culture than the one you came from. NYC to south? 10-24-2021 1:00pm
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      • Yes exactly! 10-24-2021 1:30pm
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    • maybe start by saying your kids can't play on school nights 10-24-2021 1:02pm
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      • This is a good idea thanks 10-24-2021 1:30pm
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    • Next time they come knock on the door, say that you need to speak with their parents. Send them away. Repeat. 10-24-2021 1:04pm
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    • Hmm...my doorbell rings all afternoon and all day on the weekends and I think it's great. But it is usually younger kids asking my kids to play. In my neighborhood the kids play...(more) 10-24-2021 1:09pm
      outside for hours, just come home for dinner. Good for the parents and good for the kids.
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      • Yes but these are kids from a family we don’t know who want to come into our home. You’d never see kids on the street here without parents 10-24-2021 1:30pm
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        • That's different. Just say no mixing indoors for unvaxed kids. 10-24-2021 1:35pm
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    • ugh so annoying 10-24-2021 1:10pm
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  6. Tween/Teen What are your thoughts about York prep? Is it a special needs school? What types of kids are accepted there? 10-23-2021 6:49pm (5 replies)
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    • Lots of sn kids, kids that have been kicked out of other schools, stupid kids who can’t grt in elsewhere 10-23-2021 6:50pm
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    • If your kid has SN, they can go to a public with support services. York Prep is for kids who don't do well in other settings. 10-23-2021 7:13pm
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      • Np- it I had a SN kid I would prefer York a million times over public with “support.” No SN kid should be in classes with 30 kids. 10-23-2021 7:16pm
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        • York, however, doesn't position itself as a SN school. 10-23-2021 7:21pm
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    • I personally know 3 kids who attended. 2 had issues and the third wasn't very smart. 10-23-2021 7:23pm
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  7. Tween/Teen Anyone on who had booster? Did you get sick from it? How long after getting it? 10-11-2021 9:58am (5 replies)
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    • waiiiiiitg on Moderna. Do't care if I feel weird. 10-11-2021 9:59am
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    • I got Pfizer. I didn't have a problem; not even the tiredness I had the first time. 10-11-2021 10:13am
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    • I had the booster. Sore arm for the first 24 hours or so. Intense fatigue a few days later. Fine now (2 weeks out). 10-11-2021 10:14am
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    • You do realize the booster is the exact same as the 1st and 2nd dose, right? 10-21-2021 11:51am
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    • Getting mine next week. Didn't feel too bad with the first two so hoping fo rthe best 10-28-2021 12:47pm
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  8. Tween/Teen Anyone let their teenager (16) drink at parties? 10-7-2021 12:59pm (19 replies)
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    • my brother lets his 17yo dd drink at parties at his place. she gets absolutely ruined and it's kind of yuck to watch. but i guess at least she's safe. 10-7-2021 1:00pm
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      • She's just killing brain cells... 10-7-2021 1:01pm
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        • my brother and i did that as kids too. he's a multi millionaire who runs his own company. i'm a senior level marketer with a million dollar home. we did ok for all the brain...(more) 10-7-2021 1:02pm
          cells we killed.
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          • I find an adult who watches their teen get smashed to be worthy of judgement. Clearly she's not learning anything about drinking responsibly, which is the usual excuse 10-7-2021 1:04pm
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            • no but she is learning about drinking to the point of barfing, where that line is, she's embarrassing herself in front of family while she figures it out, instead of passing out...(more) 10-7-2021 1:08pm
              or wahtever around strangers. and she's learning young the evils of a hangover and of the occasional embarrassment of "what the hell did i do last night?" compare her to a few of the girls i saw in university having their stomachs pumped because they never learned any limits.... i'm not saying it's the right way to go, exactly. i'm not comfortable with it. and we have a 17 year old daughter ourselves and wouldn't let her do that around us. but it's not all bad.
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              • Oh, she'll end up in the ER anyway 10-7-2021 1:09pm
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                • i thank you for your best wishes and genuine concern 10-7-2021 1:10pm
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        • np: this is such an odd comment. of all the things I would be worried about with teen drinking, brain cells is the least of it 10-7-2021 1:04pm
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          • So it's totally fine so long as she's "safe?" 10-7-2021 1:04pm
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            • no, but I would be more worried about them drinking irresponsibly 10-7-2021 1:11pm
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              • Doesn't sound like this girl is drinking responsibly 10-7-2021 1:14pm
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                • no, it doesn't but her brain cells would be the least of my concern 10-7-2021 1:16pm
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                  • Oh, that was sort of a TIC answer. 10-7-2021 1:21pm
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    • "let" lol 10-7-2021 1:01pm
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    • I don't view it as letting them or forbidding them. More like saying "we know that there is alcohol at parties and we want you to be responsible. If you're going to drink, hav ea...(more) 10-7-2021 1:02pm
      white claw/beer/whatever and then wait an hour before having anything else," or things like that. we talk openly about what they see at parties and how to handle peer pressure, gummies, etc
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      • Man, I am telling my kid that if they are going to drink don't be lame and have it be White Claw 10-7-2021 1:05pm
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      • This. I hammer shit home and see what happens. He's pretty good. He drinks a little, he smokes a little but his eye is on the prize of his future. 10-7-2021 1:06pm
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    • I wouldnt say I let them- but I know they do it on the down low 10-7-2021 1:08pm
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    • no problem with me. Some wine, beer. I don't offer hard liquor but teaching them drink responsibly is my goal 10-7-2021 1:16pm
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  9. Tween/Teen Odd girl out...(more) 10-7-2021 12:13pm (18 replies)
    a few girls in my dd friend group kicked her out , but their mom's still act like nothing has changed. this is very hard for me.
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    • Do the mom's know? What was the purported reason? 10-7-2021 12:14pm
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      • - no subject -...(more) 10-7-2021 12:21pm
        they have issues with her. they are also starting to drink and boyfriends
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        • My DD had that- she didnt want to smoke pot all the time and wasnt cool with boys- they kicked her out basically but also DD was fine with it really because the whole thing made...(more) 10-7-2021 12:31pm
          her uncomfortable. Is DD upset? My DD had 2 good buddies on the same wavelength so it was fine.
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          • she has some older girls she is friendly with and has sports.its just the socializing with the mom's that is tough. 10-7-2021 12:34pm
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    • "ugh, sheila, what the fuck is going on with the girls. can't take this mean girl drama .." 10-7-2021 12:14pm
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      • perfect 10-7-2021 12:15pm
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      • this. just address it. 10-7-2021 12:17pm
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      • that already happened now they actively ignore her, 6 girls so everyday is tough 10-7-2021 12:22pm
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        • right but you need to say this to sheila, the mom. i 10-7-2021 12:24pm
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          • I did once and her dd and another started texting my dd to stop talking about it. accusing her of telling everyone. which she hasn't 10-7-2021 12:29pm
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            • I'd tell the mom that. and say, I dont know why me being mad about this trickles down to the lunchroom, but I'm going to have to take a break from this for a while. 10-7-2021 12:38pm
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      • also 2 started it, the others have fallen in line. 2 eat lunch with her sometimes. 10-7-2021 12:25pm
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    • Are they 9? or 17? 10-7-2021 12:22pm
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      • 14/15 10-7-2021 12:23pm
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        • yeah this isn't your battle. If they're starting risky behavior she's better off moving on and finding other friends, tbh. Don't chase people. 10-7-2021 12:24pm
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          • I'm not but the mom's just act like everything is hunky-dory. dances, games. they seem insensitive. what can I say. 10-7-2021 12:27pm
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            • tbh, it sounds like you haven't said anything. I said what the person said above, what's the deal with the girls . .seems shitty 10-7-2021 12:28pm
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              • I have. they are just standing behind their girls. 10-7-2021 12:31pm
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  10. Tween/Teen Does anyone send their child to an online school? Why? Do you and do they like it? 10-6-2021 11:03pm (0 replies)
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  11. Tween/Teen It's such a relief that kids (HS age) are back in school FT, but they are also pretty stressed about the experience- academic demands, catching up, etc. Our school seems very...(more) 10-6-2021 11:20am (0 replies)
    supportive, but there is a lot of competition and pressure too. If you think your school is doing an amazing job supporting students (and teachers too), give a shout out.
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  12. Tween/Teen How is Hamilton college for liberal arts? Is it also in the middle of nowhere? 10-5-2021 11:18pm (4 replies)
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    • It's good, sort of no where 10-5-2021 11:23pm
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    • strong school 10-5-2021 11:23pm
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    • Top 10 slac 10-6-2021 12:30am
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    • It's a highly competitive school, always has been. And it has a strong campus life so it's okay that it's in the middle of nowhere. Better than being at a city school with no...(more) 10-6-2021 8:21pm
      sense of community.
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  13. Tween/Teen - no subject -...(more) 10-4-2021 7:03am (0 replies)
    spacebar counter best and best site <a href= https://dev.to/noah09ba/spacebar-counter-148j// "> spacebar counter</a>.
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  14. Tween/Teen Spacebar counter...(more) 10-4-2021 7:02am (0 replies)
    spacebar counter best site
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  15. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 10-4-2021 7:01am (0 replies)
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  16. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 10-4-2021 6:58am (1 reply)
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    • This post has been deleted. 10-4-2021 7:00am
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  17. Tween/Teen Teen found a NECK HAIR on my neck. like, a coarse dark long pube. a single hair. EWWWW 10-3-2021 9:03pm (7 replies)
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    • There is never just one 10-3-2021 9:03pm
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      • op: it is now her job to find and tell me about each one. 10-3-2021 9:04pm
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      • Of course there is. Some of us aren’t hairy. I have about 5 hairs that come out of the same spot on my body and have little hair elsewhere. 10-3-2021 9:10pm
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    • Front or back of neck? 10-3-2021 9:04pm
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    • This has happened to me. Horrid. 10-3-2021 9:07pm
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    • I have one on the underside of my forearm, so weird 10-3-2021 9:07pm
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  18. Tween/Teen Is being 50 too late to divorce and start over? Dd is 11 and ds is 14. I just realized dh is never a grown adult and I don't want to shoulder all the responsibilities to keep the...(more) 10-2-2021 9:08am (31 replies)
    family together anymore
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    • I divorced at 50 (kids were 17 & 18) and it has been the best thing ever. It's never too late to be what you want to be. Life is short. 10-2-2021 9:09am
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      • Did you find or expect to find a decent partner again? 10-2-2021 9:11am
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        • Was not at all interested in that. I took a lot of time to be alone for the first time in my adult life. Then a lot of casual dating. Have been w/bf for about 9 months but...(more) 10-2-2021 9:12am
          deliberately chose a similarly very busy guy who lives 45 min away so time spent together is fairly minimal.
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          • ^divorce about 3 yrs ago fwiw 10-2-2021 9:14am
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            • What's fwiw? 10-2-2021 9:16am
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              • for what it's worth 10-2-2021 9:20am
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          • do you think it will stay minimal or do you hope that eventually it will become more? 10-2-2021 9:26am
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        • np Don't live your life or place your self worth on being with someone. 10-2-2021 9:15am
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          • NP and I don't disagree but at the same time, it is easy to dispense such advice when you haven't spent a decade or more as a single parent, always doing things alone, always...(more) 10-2-2021 9:18am
            ending your day alone with no other adult to talk to, always being the only person at holidays and other gatherings who doesn't have a partner, etc.
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            • oh stop it. You can be an independent individual. 10-2-2021 9:21am
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              • She has a point. It's not the best feeling to be alone all the time. But I have to say that's still better than being in a toxic situation 10-2-2021 9:22am
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              • yes, you absolutely can. You can also long for companionship and/or feel lonely as a highly functioning, competent, independent individual 10-2-2021 9:25am
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                • Agreed. Many married women feel lonely when they are in a unfulfilling relationship 10-2-2021 9:28am
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                  • of course married people can feel lonely too but I am talking about unmarried/single people, so easy to get on a soap box and say you should be independent, not need a man, etc....(more) 10-2-2021 9:30am
                    and fine, yes, but if you have been single for many years the mere fact that you want a relationship doesn't mean you have no self-worth and aren't independent
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    • But his boyish insouciance has been fun until now? 10-2-2021 9:11am
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      • No... he's not the fun boyish type. He doesn't have inner strength, get nervous for little things and is emotionally high maintenance. I'm sick of it 10-2-2021 9:15am
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        • Was he this way when you paired off with him? 10-2-2021 9:15am
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          • Yes, kind of but these qualities amplified more when we have to raise kids together which makes me do all the parenting 10-2-2021 9:18am
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        • Would be nice if you guys could be apart for a couple of months to see if you feel better or miss the marriage. 10-2-2021 9:28am
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    • I divorced early 30s when my DCs were similar age, 10+ years later and I am glad I did but I don't think "start over" is how I would describe the experience 10-2-2021 9:16am
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      • I'd imagine it didn't feel like 'start over' for you. You were young. I'm 50 and will go into menopause years... I worry I can't have a physical relationship with anyone 10-2-2021 9:21am
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        • the reason it didn't feel like "start over" to me is because I still had my life, my responsibilities. I worked FT, ended up with FT custody, money was always tight, etc. it...(more) 10-2-2021 9:23am
          wasn't like I had this fresh start to go be a 31 yo, dating and free in the world. In fact, I didn't date for years.
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    • Be careful - some women cast off husbands during menopause and come to regret it later. I’d wait a bit unless he is abusive/toxic. 10-2-2021 9:30am
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      • Why do they think these women will regret? 10-2-2021 9:31am
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        • Some women are feeling a bit off, irritable and stressed during menopause and once the cloud lifts, they feel better about everything. Some who considered leaving are glad they...(more) 10-2-2021 9:36am
          stayed. Others decide its right to divorce, you can do that at any age. But it’s good not to make a serious decision during a temporary low point (which may or may not be the case here).
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          • I get what you said but take a look at the list of responsibilities I shoulder in my reply below. It's not been a fair share of responsibility for years 10-2-2021 9:39am
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            • If you have felt this way for years, you may be better off breaking it off. 10-2-2021 9:42am
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    • Which responsibilities are you shouldering? How are the finances? 10-2-2021 9:31am
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      • I plan for kids' school, took them out of public because they are not striving, their activities, food, driving, keeping the house clean, connecting to their teachers/ coaches to...(more) 10-2-2021 9:35am
        keep track on how they are doing, and I work full time. He makes 4x of what I make but he doesn't want me to quit my job because he wants safety net. I basically run everything
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        • ^ oh and because he works from home now, he would nap in the middle of the day. 10-2-2021 9:37am
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    • have you tried couple's counseling? if not, it may be a wakeup call to him 10-31-2021 10:52pm
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  19. Tween/Teen JV Sports: anyone have a child who plays on a JV team in HS?...(more) 9-29-2021 11:29am (38 replies)
    My dc plays on a JV team and I am really surprised how segregated and differently they are treated vs. Varsity. I get that the varsity players are, in some cases, significantly better athletes, but I was surprised at the attempts to delineate the two teams. There is no interaction between the players, the V coach doesn’t interact with the JV kids. It’s just weird.
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    • Only varsity matters. 9-29-2021 11:31am
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      • this is also not true 9-29-2021 11:33am
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        • NP this is totally true, Varsity only goes to state playoffs, in rankings etc 9-29-2021 11:34am
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          • Or: yes. This is all I meant. JV is just like the reserves or farm system for varsity. 9-29-2021 11:37am
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            • Oh I see and agree! 9-29-2021 11:38am
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      • Not true in every sport. 9-29-2021 11:59am
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    • I’m not sure why you expected them to interact, they’re two separate teams. 9-29-2021 11:31am
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    • this is typical 9-29-2021 11:32am
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    • There’s a huge difference between the level of play at varsity and JV in my dds sport. The girls are all friendly but the coaches really focus on varsity. 9-29-2021 11:33am
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    • they're just different teams. But in our school the head coach for the sport overall is also the varsity coach, and they like to see who is coming up through their program, so...(more) 9-29-2021 11:33am
      they do pay attention
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    • I understand the sports program reasons for this; but to be it begs the question - who are these programs supposed to serve? Only the elite athletes and the employed adults, or...(more) 9-29-2021 11:34am
      the whole school community?
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      • What do you mean by employed adults? 9-29-2021 11:34am
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        • Coaches, program staff, etc. 9-29-2021 11:35am
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      • not sure what you're objecting to. The JV (and freshman, if the school has freshman teams) exist to cultivate talent and to have fun-- lots of kids play on them who aren't...(more) 9-29-2021 11:35am
        "elite"-- even if they aren't always starters. The programs serve the community that is interested/invested in the sport. As it should
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        • I think it used to be different though, at least in some sports the JV team was supposed to be younger talent being cultivated for varisty, and therefore shoud sometimes practice,...(more) 9-29-2021 11:37am
          learn from the varisty players. What I see now is that kids are in fixed positions their entire four-year high school career.
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          • well I don't know. At our school all the teams practice/train together in the off-season, but in-season, they are all doing their own thing, isn't really time to mix and match....(more) 9-29-2021 11:38am
            Younger kids do play up though, when they are needed
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          • Op: right, I guess I expected the coach to try and cultivate JV players. Instead, he seems to take the easy way out and cherry pick high level club players. 9-29-2021 11:40am
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            • ah. Well, at our school the high level club players also do move through the freshman/JV/Varsity levels, so it's all the same pool of people 9-29-2021 11:43am
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      • NP how would they serve any better to be mixed? 9-29-2021 11:36am
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    • Yes our school even has a freshman team, interesting thing is that if the V team has injuries etc they quickly call up/take players from JV or F teams 9-29-2021 11:34am
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      • np: ours does this as well 9-29-2021 11:36am
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    • They are supposed to be separate - nephew plays on a 7-8-9 grade JV team and it's a good time to learn. 9-29-2021 11:34am
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      • 7 and 8 can’t play on hs teams in our state. 9-29-2021 11:35am
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    • It's like they are different level of courses- no reason to interact except when students are assessed for placement 9-29-2021 11:35am
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    • At our school the teams are mainly done by age, the prioritize seniors for varsity. My son plays soccer, he is a freshman and they have their own team, sophomores and some juniors...(more) 9-29-2021 11:36am
      are on JV and mainly seniors on varsity unless they don’t have enough kids.
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      • That’s nice but not how it works most places. I wish it did. For example at our school many seniors get cut because they aren’t good enough for varsity and many freshman take...(more) 9-29-2021 11:41am
        their spots.
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        • My son wishes it wasn’t this way, the coach said he should be on varsity but they won’t let him. 9-29-2021 11:43am
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        • np: it's unfortunate but the truth is if you're a senior and there are freshman better than you, you probably don't belong on the varsity team. Kind of sucks, but it is...(more) 9-29-2021 11:46am
          competitive
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          • OR above, about serving the whole community - this comment might get at what I am trying clumsily to express better. There are more to high school sports than the literal sport -...(more) 9-29-2021 11:54am
            it's social, it's a leadership opp for the older kids, it's just plain exercise, etc. - for the kids who want to be technically expert and win, it feels like private club should be the right location for that. Esp for public school programs, I wish they could put more of the NON sport stuff into the calculation for who's on off/leads etc. I'll pause here for the sports moms to jump down my throat, but I stand by my assessment. ;)
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            • ^so in the referenced comment, yes I believe the student's senior age should "count" when building the varisty team, and even the most talented freshmen should stay on the frosh...(more) 9-29-2021 11:55am
              team.
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              • ^(sports moms are gonna kill me now) while I fully understand that some players really really care about the competitive win, I am not sure I support that as the END GOAL of a...(more) 9-29-2021 11:56am
                high school sports program. Prefer that they take a broader growth lens on students.
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            • That is why JV exists 9-29-2021 11:56am
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            • I think this should be the case for sports where HS is just for fun (soccer), if recruiting etc happens Fromm HS (football) it is a bit different 9-29-2021 11:57am
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              • I don't know how you solve it. Feels like there needs to be a pre-professional track separate from school. 9-29-2021 11:58am
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    • yes - JV swim team but we have a great swim coaches that work together. All three of my boys started on JV and and the older 2 made varsity the next 3 years. Expect my youngest to...(more) 9-29-2021 11:37am
      to the same.
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    • It's sports, it's competitive and so there is jockeying for positions and hierarchy. Tell your son to keep trying/keep working/ they will call up good athletes that can help out. 9-29-2021 11:38am
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    • Thats totally normal. Signed, I played high school sports 9-29-2021 11:47am
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      • ^ although we moved up to varsity by junior year. Younger athletes weee on if. None of the freshman were playing varsity unless they were needed for numbers 9-29-2021 11:56am
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  20. Tween/Teen Thinking of moving to Larchmont. How is Hommocks Middle School? 9-29-2021 10:08am (4 replies)
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    • superb. Larchmont is really a great town with tons of amenities for residents and great schools (until HS where I'd say the schools go from great to quite good). 9-29-2021 10:09am
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    • its a really nice community. hommocks is big but all the schools come together at that point. 9-29-2021 10:13am
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      • ^^be mindful of the land and housing issues. those floods were devastating and and likely to happen again 9-29-2021 10:14am
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        • A few areas, especially in Mamaroneck. A good realtor will be able to identify these areas 9-29-2021 10:19am
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  21. Tween/Teen Nyc moms: at what age would you let your dc take the subway back & forth to school alone? 9-22-2021 9:57pm (6 replies)
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    • 7th or 8th 9-22-2021 9:58pm
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    • She did in 7th 9-22-2021 9:59pm
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    • Depends on the kid and what their commute is. One of mine was ready by the start of 7th, the other’s that age now and not even close. 9-22-2021 10:02pm
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    • just tell them to speak up for themselves...and don't be frozen in fear, move if there is a problem-I have seen too many weirdos and I try and jump in but only so much I can do! 9-22-2021 10:03pm
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    • Pre or post pandemic? It feels less safe down there than it used to - homeless and mentally ill 9-22-2021 10:04pm
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    • 18 9-22-2021 10:16pm
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  22. Tween/Teen Mdai for sale...(more) 9-20-2021 7:05am (0 replies)
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  23. Tween/Teen How did your DC feel about ACT today? Mine will have to retake I’m sure. 9-11-2021 4:26pm (3 replies)
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    • Junior? Is this when lids start taking them? 9-11-2021 4:28pm
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    • Isn’t it late for a senior to take It again?? 9-22-2021 10:06pm
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  24. Tween/Teen Help: 13 yo is so difficult right now. She is very bright, and wants to be completely independent. She constantly pushes her sister, dh and me away. I read her journal (I know...(more) 9-10-2021 5:35pm (20 replies)
    i shouldn’t have) and she talked about being tired of being perfect, feelings of anger towards us and wanting to be rebellious. I don’t know how to let her know we love her, will give her space, but she has to be respectful to us.
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    • I am continually amazed by how many of you seem to have NO MEMORY WHATSOEVER of having been an adolescent/teen and are SHOCKED AND DISMAYED when yours become...(more) 9-10-2021 5:36pm
      moody, pull away, etc
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      • ^ and you are a piece of work for reading her journal. 9-10-2021 5:36pm
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    • Be respectful of her and keep your hands off her journal. 9-10-2021 5:37pm
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      • This for starters. Leave her the hell alone. 9-10-2021 5:38pm
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        • Op: what else am I doing wrong? 9-10-2021 5:45pm
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          • You did nothing wrong. You are the mom and have good instincts. Get help. Talk to a child therapist. 9-10-2021 5:50pm
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      • She read it because she was concerned. Now it’s time to let her be and leave her stuff alone. This is totally normal 13-16 yo behavior. 9-10-2021 5:45pm
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    • Normal normal normal. Yoh are the lighthouse, she is the storm. Yoh stay strong and steady and let her come to you when she wants. You are always there for her ans you let her...(more) 9-10-2021 5:38pm
      know that. The rest of the time leave her alive one. Don’t allow rudeness but let a lot of other stuff slide.
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      • Forgive my many typos!^^ 9-10-2021 5:38pm
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    • Op: I get that responders are offended that I read the journal, but I am honestly worried about her. She had suicidal poems, dreams of killing people and range at my dh and me...(more) 9-10-2021 5:43pm
      that I didn’t know existed. She also referenced self hatred (I thought we were more annoying than anything.). I think I might ask her if she wants to speak with a therapist.
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      • I get it and would have done the same. Kids are dramatic especially in their journals. That said sit her down privately and tell her if she’s ever feeling really down or out of...(more) 9-10-2021 5:46pm
        control and wants help you are there and will always be there. She will roll her eyes and ask you to go but she will take it in.
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      • ^^ she has always been a writer, so I wasn’t sure if what I was reading was a “creative exercise” or if it was her true feelings. 9-10-2021 5:50pm
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        • It’s both. I wrote all about dying and misery in my journal. No happy stuff. Everything is so huge and dramatic at that age. She is scared and uncertain and feels school pressure....(more) 9-10-2021 5:53pm
          She sees perfect lives online. I’m pretty sure she is just fine. Stay strong mama and trust your gut. Find activities that blow off steam that she enjoys even if it’s shopping or TV
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          • And be prepared for this phase to last a while. My 15 yo is so mean to me. There are small moments of joy and closeness ans then back to the cold shoulder. Try not to take it...(more) 9-10-2021 5:54pm
            personally
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            • Also does she have buddies? Other people she can talk to and hang with? 9-10-2021 5:56pm
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              • Op: that’s another problem, she has grown apart from her friends in the past few years, partly bc of Covid (one family is very strict, even now) 9-10-2021 6:40pm
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    • This is my kid. She hates praise and hates us helping her. She pushes us away but I know she needs us to stand strong. I watch crappy TV with her when she lets me as a tiny...(more) 9-10-2021 5:44pm
      Bonding exercise. This will pass. Love her.
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    • It’s HARD being a teen especially now. Mine developed an eating disorder during Covid because she felt so out of control. She is rude and pissy. She wants to get away. This is all...(more) 9-10-2021 5:49pm
      Stuff kids might go through. Love her even when she hates you. Get advice from a therapist for you and DH.
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    • I am dying tk be close tk my 14 yo but she is NOT having it. I give lotsssss of space these days and try not to pry 9-10-2021 5:57pm
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    • Op: thanks all- appreciate your insights! Will give space, show love, but set boundaries and ask if she wants to speak to a therapist. 9-10-2021 6:41pm
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  25. Tween/Teen Sending twins to different schools - experience on this? One twin wants to board ~3 hours away. The other wants to apply to a local day school. 9-7-2021 3:30pm (12 replies)
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    • We have several friends who have done this. Kids are individuals..you can't make twins do the same thing. If this is a financial decision fine, but can't be a twin thing. 9-7-2021 3:32pm
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      • You’re right. I never wanted to be the parent that saw her twins as a unit but... here I am. Ugh. 9-7-2021 3:47pm
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    • You sound well off. 9-7-2021 3:32pm
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    • They’re different people, and I applaud that they’re branching out. 9-7-2021 3:32pm
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      • I’m excited that they want to individualize - they’ve always been a “unit” and done everything together. But the mama bear in me is scared that the distance will change their...(more) 9-7-2021 3:34pm
        relationship.
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        • It will. Why do you assume that’s bad? 9-7-2021 3:35pm
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          • Not necessarily bad per say, I just worry about the distance. If anything I think it might be good - D1 that wants to board is more of a “go with the flow, do what her sister...(more) 9-7-2021 3:43pm
            wants to do” kid, so I think this will be a good experience and help her find herself and come into her own.
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        • Are they both OK with this? My college roommate was a twin. Her twin really wanted to separate and went to college across the country. My rm didn't want to and it was hard on...(more) 9-7-2021 3:37pm
          her.
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          • ^as you can imagine, it wasn't easy for me, either! 9-7-2021 3:38pm
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          • Ugh. That’s hard. Especially on you as a roommate too! As of right now they both seem okay with it, and D2 (who wants to stay local) is actually pretty encouraging of D1 going...(more) 9-7-2021 3:46pm
            I don’t know if things will change as we put in applications and start the process, because as of right now it’s just a thought. We have another year to really finalize stuff and apply so things could definitely change in that time.
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    • boy girl twin mom here, did that for high schools- both local private schools not boarding 9-7-2021 3:33pm
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      • How’d you manage the commute for both schools? Carpool? The school we are looking at is about 45 mins one way so commute is a factor too. 9-7-2021 3:39pm
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