Tween/Teen

  1. Tween/Teen High A student, will have and IB diploma, and modest extracurriculars, probable 32 on ACT. What are the achievable schools, not reaches? 1-19-2022 4:34pm (14 replies)
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    • U of Rochester 1-19-2022 4:35pm
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    • Binghamton 1-19-2022 4:36pm
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      • More like Brockport or Plattsburgh 1-19-2022 4:40pm
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    • what region 1-19-2022 4:40pm
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      • northeast/philly 1-19-2022 4:45pm
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    • Cornell, Bucknell, Goucher... 1-19-2022 4:41pm
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    • stem or not? 1-19-2022 4:44pm
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      • not--liberal arts 1-19-2022 4:45pm
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        • Lehigh, bucknell, Kenyon? 1-19-2022 4:48pm
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    • carnegie mellon 1-19-2022 4:44pm
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      • they love high SAT/ACT 1-19-2022 4:47pm
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    • Full IB diploma with high scores? I think all schools are on the table. Higher chances at the less selective NESCAC schools, Wash U, Emory, Tulane, Vandy etc. than at Ivies. 1-19-2022 4:45pm
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      • does't really want ivies anyway 1-19-2022 4:47pm
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      • Not with 32. 1-19-2022 4:48pm
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  2. Tween/Teen I told another mom friend about some mean girl stuff my middle school DD is experiencing....(more) 1-10-2022 10:17am (21 replies)
    Rather than empathizing, she told me that my DD needs therapy since she’s obviously a target for bullies, and that nothing like this has ever happened to her own DCs since they have excellent social skills and know how to stand up for themselves. Now I don’t want to be friends with her anymore.
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    • then don't 1-10-2022 10:18am
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    • she was prob never a true friend anyway. however, do you think there is truth in what she said 1-10-2022 10:18am
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      • I don’t know, possibly. The part I didn’t like was the comparison to her own DCs and how much better they are than mine. 1-10-2022 10:19am
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        • that part is weird. bc anybody can theoretically experience this. 1-10-2022 10:19am
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    • good plan 1-10-2022 10:18am
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    • she is a jerk for saying this... however there is a bit of truth - certain kids get bullied because they send out a vibe 1-10-2022 10:19am
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      • Right, but would you ever actually tell a friend their kid need 1-10-2022 10:20am
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        • Needs therapy? 1-10-2022 10:20am
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          • no - the friend did not say it in a helpful way - however I would ask how much the mom has investigated solutions and if I had any good sources I would share 1-10-2022 10:21am
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      • coming from a mom who's DD got bullied - like really bullied to the point of physical hitting 1-10-2022 10:20am
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        • Op: oh, I know my DD is awkward, and we have actually tried social skills groups, etc....(more) 1-10-2022 10:22am
          They don’t really help that much. And so far, she’s only had one incident with these girls, I’m not going to blow it out of proportion and call it bullying yet.
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          • agree -ok then it is not bullying - great to keep communication lines open with her and support her... 1-10-2022 10:24am
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            • That’s exactly what I’m doing, and my DD is a pretty strong, independent kid....(more) 1-10-2022 10:25am
              I’m just shocked that a friend who doesn’t even really know my DD was so willi
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              • yeah- well depends on the friend - you know her and is this a pattern? or did she really think she was being helpful and maybe just missed the mark 1-10-2022 10:26am
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                • No, I don’t think she intended to be helpful, actually. This is what I’m struggling with....(more) 1-10-2022 10:34am
                  This incident made me recall a few other times she’s made comments that seemed intended to bring me down (like, “remember when your DD had a party and so and so didn’t come?”). I think she’s a negative person who wants me to feel bad.
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            • PS we switched schools for middle school and my DD is doing great- nice friends, good grades etc. unfortunately once you get a label and get really bullied it is hard to break...(more) 1-10-2022 10:25am
              it- and other kids are afraid to be your friend because they themselves do not want to be a target..
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    • she may have a point, but she was rather tactless in her presentation of it. 1-10-2022 10:20am
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    • While I don’t think your kid needs therapy she may indeed need to learn to stand up for herself. Bullies do target people they can get away with bulling 1-10-2022 10:20am
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    • Martial arts class for dd, and maybe a note for that mom. 1-10-2022 10:22am
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    • this is when I really pulled myself away from a lot of friends. The dc girl drama is too much for me. 1-10-2022 10:22am
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      • In general, it is ALWAYS a bad idea to share negative opinions of your friends’ kids....(more) 1-10-2022 10:23am
        Unless they are at risk of hurting someone, keep your mouth shut.
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  3. Tween/Teen P Force Fort 150 Mg We also have in stock...(more) 1-8-2022 4:41am (0 replies)
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  4. Tween/Teen P Force Fort 150 Mg Tablet Uses + [Don't Miss...(more) 1-8-2022 4:40am (0 replies)
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  5. Tween/Teen Ok, have an honest question. I have made it my mission to teach my kids to be kind, look out for others, think of other's feelings, etc... The kids my kids grew up with (they...(more) 1-3-2022 7:25pm (23 replies)
    areallHSstudents now) seem to have no interest in those things. As an example, their conversations are always surface/sarcastic/teasing, and they have no problem ignoring my kids, talking over them, ditching if something else comes up etc... Now, I'm not saying my kids have never done anything like that, but as a whole, this is the group dynamic, and my kids feel like there is no point in hanging out with them because they usually end up disappointed/hurt/etc.. Do any of your or your kids have this experience as well? Am I just oblivious, and wasting my time hoping that my kids will meet others like them who care about others feelings? FYI we live in a big west coast city, so they are "city kids"..if that makes a difference.
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    • I feel like you'll be flamed but I get it. I also find this as an adult, when I am with certain groups of women, it's so exhausting and I LIKE talking and socializing. but it...(more) 1-3-2022 7:27pm
      makes me feel uncomfortable and can ruin my night.
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      • ^^we are not In the city but I notice when my ds (14) is with kids from other schools (camp friends etc) it's like a different WORLD. always faster, always busting balls,...(more) 1-3-2022 7:28pm
        CONSTANT use of snap chat etc, like as they are talking
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        • ^^but it is a maturity thing and I would not write them off as 'rude' etc 1-3-2022 7:29pm
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          • OP: Agree!! 1-3-2022 7:35pm
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          • I'm NP and I'm afraid I probably would write them off as rude. If they are already i middle school and don't have a clue how to deal with adults, it's because nobody taught them,...(more) 1-3-2022 7:39pm
            and they aren't likely to improve. But don't worry, I'm compassionate about it. I do think you can already tell who the thoughtful ones are going to be at that point
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        • OP: I have no doubt that tech/social media etc..plays a part. Plus being locked down for so long, I feel like a lot of lost some key social skills. 1-3-2022 7:31pm
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          • mine was never that into it and I have to push him a bit to text back and reach out 1-3-2022 7:31pm
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      • OP: I assumed! Haha...but true, there are plenty of adults I avoid who act that same way... 1-3-2022 7:30pm
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        • my ds comes off as more polite bc he is quieter and not fighting for attention. not sure if that makes sense, 1-3-2022 7:31pm
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          • OP: that totally makes sense! Now that I think about it...my kids don't want to be the center of attention, at least one doesn't..haha..but the queen bee of the group is the...(more) 1-3-2022 7:34pm
            rudest!
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      • OP: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for such wonderful replies! It's so nice to get other perspectives! 1-3-2022 7:38pm
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    • Yes, mine switched to a better fit school and found more like minded people. 1-3-2022 7:27pm
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    • I think the issue is you're not considering what is typical adolescent behavior. 1-3-2022 7:28pm
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      • OP: That could be! What is the norm? Are my kids the exception? And I don't mean that in a braggy way.... I just really want them to be nice kind people! 1-3-2022 7:29pm
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        • I don't know how old your kids are and I'm not a Psychologist but 11-14, IME, kids start to separate themselves from their parents and find their own identity and try to fit into...(more) 1-3-2022 7:33pm
          their peer group. Hasn't worked out well for my kids as they have ASD so the social scene it that much more confusing. Tell your kids to keep being awesome, they will find their tribe but it may take a bit more time
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          • OP: Thank you for your genuine response! 1-3-2022 7:36pm
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            • Of course. Best wishes. 1-3-2022 7:37pm
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    • for us high school was a much nicer place than middle school, where they are such crazy conformists. In high school it was more obvious who was your kind 1-3-2022 7:33pm
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      • OP: I agree! I keep telling them, they aren't going to find many teens with their same values, but as adults, they will (hopefully) have stronger friendships. 1-3-2022 7:35pm
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        • for me it happened in high school at any rate. In our town there are several elementary schools, only two middle schools, and only one high school, so the pool of people you...(more) 1-3-2022 7:37pm
          could choose from grew as you got older.
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    • I've felt like your kids around a lot of other people my whole life and I guess I kind of taught my kids to be like me too- however, I find it helpful a lot because I notice their...(more) 1-3-2022 7:35pm
      friends automatic "go to" if someone is mean to them is - he/she is a bitch and I'm gonna talk behind their back about how awful they are, while my kids are always like "yeah, his parents are going through divorce he's obviously just taking it out on other people". As a result, my kids rarely feel "bullied" and they really do shake a lot of things off by trying to understand the behavior of others instead of just feeling hurt, if that makes sense
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      • they sound lovely 1-3-2022 7:36pm
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      • OP: Yes! I find that certain kids in the group come to my kids to "vent" about the others... 1-3-2022 7:36pm
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  6. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 12-10-2021 12:24am (0 replies)
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  7. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 12-10-2021 12:24am (0 replies)
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  9. Tween/Teen How angry would you be if you learned your teen DC hacked into your devices and read all of your emails, texts and internet history?...(more) 11-28-2021 6:38pm (28 replies)
    I think this is a huge invasion of privacy, but DH thinks it’s no big deal.
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    • I wouldn't be angry, I would think my kid is fucking weird as fuck to want to read my boring ass emails that I don't even want to read 11-28-2021 6:40pm
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      • A lot of the emails are very old and relate to former boyfriends/hookups/friend drama....(more) 11-28-2021 6:43pm
        She’ll read and be like, so tell me about this guy you hooked up with 20 years ago, and I think it’s super creepy and inappropriate. Yes, I could go delete all my old emails but never imagined I would need to.
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        • ^^i should add, she also does it to her brother and it makes him really uncomfortable. 11-28-2021 6:44pm
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          • why is she such an asshole is the real qustion 11-28-2021 6:45pm
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          • np: no idea what kid would want to read their parents' emails 11-28-2021 6:45pm
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        • tell her, you have invaded my privacy and it's not ok. Unless you want it done to you, stop it or else face consequences. end of story. 11-28-2021 6:44pm
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    • I’m with DH 11-28-2021 6:41pm
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    • It's totally something I would have done as a kid. nbd 11-28-2021 6:44pm
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      • ^but for the kid to then bug you about anything they peeped on is rude, and should be punished. they should learn to be less obnoxious 11-28-2021 6:45pm
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    • That would be super weird- what is the motivation? 11-28-2021 6:44pm
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      • it's fake. 11-28-2021 6:47pm
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      • Sadly, she has very few friends and no social life. Also, no boundaries....(more) 11-28-2021 6:49pm
        She thinks of me as her best friend.
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        • If this is real, that's not normal and you need family therapy 11-28-2021 6:50pm
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          • We’ve done sooo much therapy. Nothing helps. She doesn’t connect with anyone her own age. 11-28-2021 6:51pm
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            • well she has issues. this isn't about the hacking 11-28-2021 6:52pm
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              • I know she has issues. And we are trying to deal with them. But the hacking just shows how poor her social skills are....(more) 11-28-2021 6:53pm
                And I feel like DH is enabling by acting like it’s nbd.
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                • well your op is far short on these very important details 11-28-2021 6:53pm
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                  • My Op would be pages long if I included all the issues. I’m just wondering how big of a deal this one issue is. 11-28-2021 6:54pm
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                    • well your op is incomplete w/o all those details about your dd 11-28-2021 6:55pm
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          • it's fake as fuck 11-28-2021 6:51pm
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            • I wish it was fake. I can’t imagine why anyone would make this up. 11-28-2021 6:53pm
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              • you left out important details bc you want to hear what you want to hear, but it's not honest or genuine 11-28-2021 6:57pm
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    • I'd be pissed!(but happy that he was smart enough to hack into it) 11-28-2021 6:48pm
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      • Op: my password is pretty basic, not that hard to hack! 11-28-2021 6:49pm
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        • FAKETY FAKE FAKE 11-28-2021 6:50pm
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        • Well then I'd just be pissed. 11-28-2021 6:50pm
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    • FAKETY FAKE FAKE 11-28-2021 6:48pm
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    • the kid is a psychopath 11-28-2021 6:54pm
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  10. Tween/Teen I posted a few weeks ago about my 14 yo’s sports coach who inexplicably started ignoring/benching her...(more) 11-28-2021 1:56pm (82 replies)
    She scheduled a meeting with him to ask what she should be working on to improve, and he said “you’re playing excellent, no issues, it’s just that another player has started playing your position and I need to give her time too, I’ll try to be more fair and even it out.” Since that conversation, he has cut DD’s playing time even more, to the point where she now sits out more than anyone on her team and is completely miserable. Was it wrong to have that conversation with him? And should she start looking for a different tea
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    • He just sounds like a bastard 11-28-2021 1:56pm
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      • ita- new team 11-28-2021 1:57pm
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    • Op: at the beginning of the season, she played nearly the entire game every game and now plays about 1/4 of the game and gets no feedback at all. It’s like she’s not even there. 11-28-2021 1:57pm
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    • look for a different team 11-28-2021 1:57pm
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    • so much mental energy spent on sports 11-28-2021 1:57pm
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      • It’s life....(more) 11-28-2021 1:59pm
        For so many
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        • glad its not mine 11-28-2021 2:00pm
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      • This. 11-28-2021 1:59pm
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    • Is this other player at her position better than dd? 11-28-2021 1:57pm
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      • IMO, this other player stinks! But maybe it’s subjective? 11-28-2021 1:58pm
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        • Then you absolutely need to look for a new team. 11-28-2021 1:59pm
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      • np: even if she were, the coach should be able to talk to OP's dd about it and y'know, COACH her on what she needs to do differently. 11-28-2021 1:59pm
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        • But if you are p l aying basketball and Michael Jordan joins the team no amount of coaching will get you tour position back 11-28-2021 2:00pm
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          • ok then she shouldn't be misled and told she'll get more playing time and then get less. 11-28-2021 2:02pm
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            • Right. OP, we're these games close so that, if the coach thinks this girl is better than dd, he couldn't risk losing any points? 11-28-2021 2:04pm
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              • Op: no, nothing like that. They play defense, and the other girl has co 11-28-2021 2:07pm
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                • Conceded more goals than DD 11-28-2021 2:07pm
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          • This post has been deleted. 11-28-2021 2:04pm
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            • He isn't blaming another player. You are. 11-28-2021 2:05pm
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              • How so? He told DD the only reason she wasn’t playing was bc of another player. 11-28-2021 2:06pm
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                • Because another player is playing the position (which is normal). You are calling the girl fat and slow. 11-28-2021 2:07pm
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                  • My point is - she’s no Michael Jordan, and in fact she is fat and slow. 11-28-2021 2:09pm
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    • something is behind the other girl. is her mom a single mom 11-28-2021 1:58pm
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    • Did you ask why another player is playing her position? Regardless yes I would find another team. He is awful. 11-28-2021 1:58pm
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      • Op: I think it’s awful to even bring the other player into it and pit them against each other, isn’t it? 11-28-2021 1:59pm
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        • it's a reasonable situation on a team to have two players trying to get playing time for the same position. it's shitty that he's not coaching your dd and not being transparent. 11-28-2021 2:00pm
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          • Or: ITA. I don’t think it’s terrible he is playing someone else, but his response and lack of transparency is bizarre. 11-28-2021 2:03pm
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            • yeah. i think the reality is that a lot of these coaches really are terrible at coaching. was just speaking to other mom's on my son's team. they have previously had a "molder...(more) 11-28-2021 2:07pm
              of men" sort of coach who was just amazing, on the field and off, inspired everyone to do their best, and now they have a good technical coach but just kind of a dud interpersonally. it's a bummer. and he's not even actively terrible. just blah.
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        • No that's life, sports are competitive 11-28-2021 2:04pm
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      • Most positions have more than one player. If they didn't and 1 player was sick you'd have to forfeit 11-28-2021 2:00pm
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        • Op: right - there are other players who could have sacrificed to make room for this girl, which is why I don’t buy his explanation. 11-28-2021 2:01pm
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          • isnt the club season ending soon? try out for a new team next season 11-28-2021 2:02pm
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            • Op: it’s year round, unfortunately, with winter tournaments. 11-28-2021 2:06pm
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    • this happens a lot in the beginning of training and even beginning of a season. Hang tight. These too are life lessons. No need to snow plow everything, mom 11-28-2021 1:58pm
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    • That's really strange. What kind of team is this (ie School, Developmental, Competitive?) If the latter, is she any good? At that age teams start getting very competitive and play...(more) 11-28-2021 1:58pm
      just the best players, feelings are irrelevant, unless the league is specifically developmental.
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      • It’s competitive club soccer. I used to think my DD was really good at it, but now I’m second guessing everything. 11-28-2021 2:00pm
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        • There are so many variables. But after 3 kids in competitive sports at that stage the coaches play who they think will help them win. If it's not your dd (and that may be coach...(more) 11-28-2021 2:01pm
          perception and not reality, it's so subjective), then she is not going to play.
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      • but she shouldn't be misled. 11-28-2021 2:01pm
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        • agree 100%. I think that it is very cool she had a talk with the coach, and that the coach should have been more honest/straightforward Maybe coach doesn't want to lose her so she...(more) 11-28-2021 2:02pm
          is there as a solid back up.
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          • If he didn’t want to lose her, he would be more encouraging and nicer. It’s almost like he wants her to quit. (?) 11-28-2021 2:05pm
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            • He was too encouraging...saying her playing is great. maybe he/she lied. 11-28-2021 2:06pm
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              • Op: I think he’s too cowardly to give an honest answer. He’s very young and inexperienced. 11-28-2021 2:11pm
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                • or-There ya go. 11-28-2021 2:14pm
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              • Are you op? I read it as dismissive. Encouraging to me is how can she improve, if she wants to play more. 11-28-2021 2:13pm
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                • This is OP. Yes, I think it’s both cowardly as well as dismissive. 11-28-2021 2:15pm
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    • Is he fucking the mom of the other girl? 11-28-2021 2:01pm
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    • Most coaches are losers who haven’t moved on from their glory days in high school and college. Here they weird power at the expense of developing athletes. It’s sad. 11-28-2021 2:01pm
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      • ^wield 11-28-2021 2:02pm
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      • ^sports hater is here. 11-28-2021 2:02pm
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        • np: I'm not or, and I liked, because I agree with her. more than one sport culture hater here, and the fact you think "weird" is the worst insult you can come up with says a lot...(more) 11-28-2021 2:08pm
          about you and your sheepish ways. you're not weird, you're just a conformist.
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          • Um, who called who weird and who is this rant meant for? 11-28-2021 2:10pm
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    • What is the sport? Are there club teams? Can she switch positions? 11-28-2021 2:02pm
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      • Op: club soccer. She offered to play another position and the coach ignored her. 11-28-2021 2:05pm
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    • that's what happens when we give sports coaches the position of influencing teens lives. the whole thing is just fucked up 11-28-2021 2:03pm
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      • I think this is what happens when we allow teens to think that the sport is the end all be all of their identity. Not every player can be the best. When you get to this age it...(more) 11-28-2021 2:04pm
        starts to shake out. It's not always fair, because it is all subjective. Coaches are human and even the best of them have to make subjective judgements.
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        • the whole culture that puts sports at its center as if it's the most important thing, sending those kids all kinds of wrong messages is the same culture that lets sport coaches...(more) 11-28-2021 2:06pm
          raise kids as if they understand anything about education. so glad it isn't my culture
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          • I have no idea what your "culture" is, but there are so many benefits from team sports that I am glad my mind was never closed to them. All of my kids have benefited so much from...(more) 11-28-2021 2:10pm
            the experience. Two are now playing their beloved sport at college, the last has found a sport he loves and it has had an amazing impact on all other aspects of his life...he is more disciplined, organized, responsible, etc.
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            • my culture is art and music. but hey, not for everyone. 11-28-2021 2:10pm
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              • lol. One of my kids who plays their sport in college is a theater major. But hey, not everyone can walk and chew gum at the same time...I get that. 11-28-2021 2:14pm
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                • "theater" 11-28-2021 2:14pm
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                  • I'm not sure your point. 11-28-2021 2:15pm
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                    • ^someone who plays piano, writes her own music, and can sing alto with the best of them, especially in comedic roles, is not "arts and music" enough for you? 11-28-2021 2:16pm
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          • np: my son has navigated the ups and downs of sports and i actually feel like he has learned a ton from all of this. the goal of sports culture is really not to just be the best,...(more) 11-28-2021 2:10pm
            but to learn how to persevere in the face of not always being the best, for the vast vast majority of players. I think it's been incredibly valuable. these are good lessons to learn. They happen in real life all the time. sports culture is not perfect by a long stretch, but i don't see any reason to toss the whole thing out.
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            • i don't agree that you need to learn how to be a good, functioning, whole human from doing sports. 11-28-2021 2:12pm
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              • of course you don't need to. 11-28-2021 2:14pm
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            • pr exactly. There is MUCH to be learned from an environment where you are playing for something bigger than yourself. In sports, it's your team. And the hope is that lesson...(more) 11-28-2021 2:15pm
              permeates all aspects of your life.
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    • I would look for a new team. DD was on a team with a coach who favored another player at the same positions, switched teams and was so much happier and the new team was also more...(more) 11-28-2021 2:03pm
      competitive.
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      • I wonder how OP's dd would feel about this! You get close to kids on the team. What are the DD's goals or reasons for playing? 11-28-2021 2:05pm
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    • I have managed a club team and worked closely with the coach. This is the answer - She needs to outplay the other girl and she will earn my playing time. She needs to ask herself...(more) 11-28-2021 2:07pm
      what that girl has that she doesn't and she needs to work on those things.
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      • more - not my 11-28-2021 2:07pm
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      • Op: I can tell you exactly what it is: DD is quiet and serious and the other girl is boisterous and outgoing....(more) 11-28-2021 2:08pm
        It’s like a popularity contest.
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        • It's not - the coach wants to win games and puts people in that win games. If their ability is equal he will put the player in that is a leader/team player vs one that pull energy...(more) 11-28-2021 2:10pm
          from the team. As far as ability, can your dd outrun this girl? Can she outscore this girl? Does she have better field awareness than the other girl?
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          • Op: my DD is the fastest girl on the team. They play defense, and the ball never gets past her....(more) 11-28-2021 2:12pm
            Other girl is slow and gets scored on a lot, but she’s loud and assertive.
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            • Then that's what dd needs to work on - Talking at defense is a big deal. 11-28-2021 2:13pm
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            • ^^and anyway, I hate even talking about the other girl because he should never have used her an excuse!...(more) 11-28-2021 2:14pm
              I think this is a cop out to avoid being honest with DD
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              • Try to pull yourself emotionally away from this to look at things objectively. What would he not be honest about? 11-28-2021 2:17pm
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                • Op: ok, my DD is shy and socially awkward and has never been part of the crowd. She’s new on the team and having a hard time integrating socially....(more) 11-28-2021 2:21pm
                  However, she is incredibly fast and athletic, and was actually picked as “player of the week” several times early in the season. My fear is that as the coach has gotten to know the girls - he’s new this year too - he’s decided that DD is a dud, personality-wise, and doesn’t fit with the culture of the team he’s trying to build. How do you tell someone you are benching their kid for having an awkward personality?
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        • I doubt that. 11-28-2021 2:13pm
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          • That was not OR (me) 11-28-2021 2:17pm
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  11. Tween/Teen Dispute w/ex DH - he thinks it's okay for our 14yr old dd and my 11 yr old to go home alone from Grand Central to Westchester (a couple stops into Westchester). We live close to...(more) 11-26-2021 9:03pm (44 replies)
    the train, only a block so they would walk from train to house. I said no way, they're too young and I didn't want my 14 yr old responsible if anything god forbid happened. Am I being overly cautious? (14 yr old has taken train alone 1-2x only).
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    • People cannot be trusted not to target kids alone 11-26-2021 9:05pm
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      • Ok so I'm not over reacting. I just think two girls, and they have to from City to Westchester -- it's not like even going a couple stops in Westchester to the next town. Just...(more) 11-26-2021 9:07pm
        too worried.
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        • Right, I would be worried 11-26-2021 9:08pm
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          • OP - to me it feels like a man saying "it will be fine" not understand anything that girls/women go through in getting place to place. And on top of that, has no regard for my 14...(more) 11-26-2021 9:09pm
            year old -- god forbid something happens and she ends up responsible.
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            • Agree. I think court would agree with you too. 11-26-2021 9:11pm
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              • OP -- I'm really worried he's going to do it anyway. Will be so mad. 11-26-2021 9:13pm
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                • He sounds like my fucking ex. He w 11-26-2021 9:14pm
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                  • Can you get an injunction? 11-26-2021 9:14pm
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                    • OP -- well that's a whole other issue -- we have nothing legal between us. Long long story. 11-26-2021 9:16pm
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                      • >>also it doesn't help that my 14 yr old probably THINKS she can handle it so they will commiserate against me and try to make it okay. I can see it now -- I'll end up getting on...(more) 11-26-2021 9:17pm
                        to Grand Central somehow and taking them back myself if I have to.
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                        • For the longest time I did all the driving from Ct to the city because ex was a dick. He stopped visits three years ago. Can you hold something else out to bargain maybe? 14 yo...(more) 11-26-2021 9:23pm
                          doesn’t call shots.
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                          • OP - I don't know -- he won't even text me back right now to discuss making any plan so I'm worried. 11-26-2021 9:30pm
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    • He cannot even walk to train to meet them? That sounds crazy to me, but I am with you 11-26-2021 9:07pm
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      • No he would drop them off in Grand Central, and they'd walk to our house (when I'm not home) and let themselves in. I wouldn't be home. He thinks it's perfectly fine for them to...(more) 11-26-2021 9:08pm
        travel on train alone.
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        • Seriously when I was in my 20s I was followed and targeted on train until I wised up and developed that 6th sense. How can a 14 yo have this. It would be different if 14 yo...(more) 11-26-2021 9:13pm
          waswith same age friends.
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          • OP -- my 14 yr old dd JUST recently has been on two outings with a group of kids (14 and 15) in the city, and they take the subway together. But they're city kids and obviously...(more) 11-26-2021 9:15pm
            know what they're doing, but yeah this is different. I said this to him -- I said THIS IS different, this isn't safe, anything could happen, how would they know what to do. IT's crazy.
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            • Can you petition the court on this matter only? 11-26-2021 9:17pm
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              • OP: We don't have a legally binding custody agreement, we got nothing. It's a long story, been trying to hire a lawyer, but it's been difficult. 11-26-2021 9:18pm
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                • Maybe appeal to something else he wants. I know of a parent who hired babysitter to do the pick ups. I almost did that at one point. 11-26-2021 9:24pm
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                  • OP - ok yes we have to do something going forward. My 14 yr old also wants to go into city more now that she has friends there. But this has nothing to do with groups, for this...(more) 11-26-2021 9:33pm
                    instance.
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      • He is wrong. Document if he says you withhold them 11-26-2021 9:25pm
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    • My 12 yo still talks about the drunk who sang aggressively loud last year on Metro North...(more) 11-26-2021 9:10pm
      I ignored it but realized later she was nervous. 11 yo at the time.
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    • No no no no 11-26-2021 9:17pm
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    • It is not acceptable IMO. 11-26-2021 9:18pm
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      • ^^Imagine yourself explaining the rationale to CPS, the police or a judge. 11-26-2021 9:19pm
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        • OP -- If he insists and does this I'll definitely call the police and file something or at least notify the local police station. Still don't know what he is planning, I've...(more) 11-26-2021 9:21pm
          texted him twice today, still waiting.
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      • OP: Last weekend he let our 14 yr old take a train from Port Chester to City and back, alone. Which, he did not tell me he was allowing her to do. I only found out that today. 11-26-2021 9:20pm
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    • I am with you. My dh thinks just like yours, it's so annoying. 11-26-2021 9:22pm
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      • OP -- I can't even find a written law that says this is illegal -- like they're unaccompanied minors on the transit or something....looking for something that can back me up! 11-26-2021 9:23pm
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        • In CT they just made it a felony to leave 11 yo unattended in a vehicle. Maybe unattended Minors law?...(more) 11-26-2021 9:27pm
          And how old does a babysitter need to be in NY?
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        • I don’t think there are any laws in NY re the age at which kids can’t be left alone. 11-26-2021 9:28pm
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          • I looked it up and there are no age minimums -- which is crazy. But maybe something on the transit....still checking. 11-26-2021 9:30pm
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            • YOur 14 yo is definitely old enough. How mature is your 11 yo? Do they get along? Does the 11 yo listen to the 14 yo? 11-26-2021 9:34pm
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              • OP- 11 yr old is more the baby, and no she is not cooperative. Definitely wouldn't snap to it if her sister told her to run or anything. 11-26-2021 9:36pm
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    • If he brings them directly to the train, and it’s during the day, I think it’s fine. My ds was riding the subway alone at 12-13 11-26-2021 9:27pm
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      • OP -- if my 14 yr old was going alone, I wouldn't be AS worried, it's the issue of my 11 yr old and if something happend, if my 14 yr old would know what to do in an emergency,...(more) 11-26-2021 9:33pm
        .
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        • I really think it’s okay, but it obviously depends on the kids. If the 11 yo has a rebellious streak and doesn’t listen to the 14 yo that could be trouble. 11-26-2021 9:35pm
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          • OP -- that's definitely the case here. She's stubborn and doesn't listen -- and goes at her own pace. But I think might listen if they're in public. I don't know. 11-26-2021 9:37pm
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            • She might surprise you given that this is a big responsibility for both of them 11-26-2021 9:39pm
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          • OP - 11-26-2021 9:37pm
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          • OP - bottom line is anything even remotely happened, I would never forgive myself. 11-26-2021 9:38pm
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            • In another year or two it will be fine. Go with your gut. 11-26-2021 9:40pm
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              • OP -- if I get a choice, which at this point, I don't know. He may do it anyway. 11-26-2021 9:43pm
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  12. Tween/Teen What are good gifts for a 10 year old girl? 11-26-2021 10:38am (1 reply)
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    • Mine wants fidgets, sketch pad/pencils... 11-26-2021 10:39am
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  13. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 11-23-2021 9:02pm (0 replies)
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  14. Tween/Teen - no subject -...(more) 11-15-2021 2:56pm (5 replies)
    Would you still be friends with if your friend’s dd dumped your dd (both 15)
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    • The mom? No 11-15-2021 2:57pm
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    • Depends 11-15-2021 2:57pm
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    • not sure how that would work if "dumped" is right verb. if the dc slowly stopped hanging out, possible. 11-15-2021 2:58pm
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      • - no subject -...(more) 11-15-2021 3:38pm
        It was ignoring with another close friend too. Then we want a break from you.
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    • oh come on, they stopped being friends, this does happen among kids and You would be crazy to let it affect your relationships 11-15-2021 3:00pm
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  15. Tween/Teen Here for the troll free experience. 11-8-2021 8:42pm (5 replies)
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    • how is it so far? 11-8-2021 8:43pm
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      • Nice! 11-8-2021 8:44pm
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        • ^ I already decided toddler is staying unchecked for a week. 11-8-2021 8:44pm
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    • Hi! 11-8-2021 8:43pm
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    • I loved Cleveland before the Trolls descended 11-8-2021 8:44pm
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  16. Tween/Teen Im here but I dont know what to post! but im here 11-8-2021 8:40pm (1 reply)
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    • Ha, same! I am too tired to post. :) 11-8-2021 8:40pm
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  17. Tween/Teen Anyone here? 11-8-2021 8:38pm (2 replies)
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    • Yup 11-8-2021 8:38pm
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    • i have all boards checked so,,,, yea. 11-8-2021 8:39pm
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  18. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 11-7-2021 1:52am (0 replies)
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  19. Tween/Teen How many pictures can 128gb hold...(more) 11-7-2021 1:50am (1 reply)
    If you have a camera then you would be a wonder to know how many pictures can 128gb hold so click this link below to read more. <a URL="https://techshade.net/how-many-pictures-can-128gb-hold />
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    • A lot. If each photo is 4MB, then 32,000. 11-7-2021 2:06am
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  20. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 11-7-2021 1:49am (0 replies)
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  21. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 11-7-2021 1:47am (0 replies)
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  22. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 11-7-2021 1:43am (0 replies)
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  23. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 11-7-2021 1:41am (0 replies)
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  24. Tween/Teen Is Hamilton college highly regarded and difficult to get into? 11-5-2021 1:36am (5 replies)
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    • Excellent safety 11-5-2021 3:41am
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      • Yes Hamilton, Colgate and Cornell are three safeties located near each other 11-5-2021 5:43am
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        • Lol safeties 11-5-2021 7:50am
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    • Yes and yes 11-5-2021 6:48am
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    • Yes, yes 11-5-2021 7:17am
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  25. Tween/Teen At what point would you get involved if your DC was having trouble with a sports coach?...(more) 11-3-2021 9:55am (27 replies)
    My 14 yo DD’s coach - who used to really like her - has inexplicably turned on her. He removed her from the starting lineup, excludes her during drills, and makes snide comments. He’s given no direct feedback, and she truly has no idea what she’s done wrong. She’s come home every day crying for the past week and says she wants to quit the sport she used to love. Should I get involved?
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    • This is really scary, sorry. 11-3-2021 9:55am
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      • No. It isn’t. 11-3-2021 10:05am
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        • I would be worried about sexual harassment in this situation. 11-3-2021 10:06am
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          • I wouldn’t. Odd mind you have there 11-3-2021 10:12am
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    • Yes 11-3-2021 9:56am
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    • she should set aside time to talk to the coach 11-3-2021 9:56am
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      • ^^but now that I read it again, I think you can get involved 11-3-2021 9:56am
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    • Now. Youbhave nothing to lose. If things don't change she'll quit. The worst that can happen with you getting involved is that she leaves the team. 11-3-2021 9:57am
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    • now. 11-3-2021 9:57am
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    • the time is now- i always tell my kids that they should try and work things out themselves. If she has tried to talk to him, and it doesn't work, now is when you step in (chain of...(more) 11-3-2021 9:58am
      command)
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      • Op: she hasn’t tried to talk to him. She’s very shy and afraid to approach him directly....(more) 11-3-2021 9:59am
        Should she do this before I reach out to him?
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        • i would ask her. Take her out for bubble tea, say "hey, I've noticed this and this, and I'm concerned. I would like to schedule a time for us both to go and sit with your coach so...(more) 11-3-2021 10:00am
          you can talk to him. I will be there to support you and clarify as you need me to"
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    • There must be some part of the story that isn't being reported to you 11-3-2021 9:59am
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    • Have her write N email asking for time to discuss this. If coach says no or doesnt give a reason, then you get involved 11-3-2021 9:59am
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    • Honestly this seems like super manipulative and toxic behavior. I'd pull her off the team. 11-3-2021 9:59am
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    • I had a miserable coach junior year and quit. So glad I didn’t subject myself to his tyranny senior year. 11-3-2021 10:02am
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      • My friends Dd quit soph year - coach was sick. Never looked back. Just quit 11-3-2021 10:06am
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    • Quit. Give her the power to quit a relationship that no longer works 11-3-2021 10:04am
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      • im going to agree with this. 11-3-2021 10:06am
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      • I posted just above you. ITA. Even at 17 I knew I shouldn’t stick around to have some man yell at me. 11-3-2021 10:06am
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        • ^^ and I did something else enjoyable and worthwhile instead 11-3-2021 10:07am
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    • no I wouldn't have my 14yo dd engage with a grown man who is a bully. Yes you should get involved and don't back down either. Is she good? Do you think he's willing to risk having...(more) 11-3-2021 10:05am
      her leave?
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      • Op: yes, she’s very good - at the beginning of the season, I would have said she was one of the top players on the team and received a lot of praiae...(more) 11-3-2021 10:11am
        I’m sure she’s had her ups and downs, but now he’s treating her like the absolute worst player, and I don’t see how it’s warranted. Perhaps he’s changed his opinion and doesn’t care if she leaves? That’s how it feels.
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        • It’s not about him. It’s about her. What does she want? 11-3-2021 10:13am
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          • She loves the sport but feels beaten down and discouraged....(more) 11-3-2021 10:24am
            If you asked me a month ago, she would say it was her favorite activity, but now, she may be willing to quit.
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    • she should ask him to discuss with her - he gets one chance to address. and then you can either follow up on what he tells her, or can follow up because he didn't discuss with her...(more) 11-3-2021 10:08am
      and you should be letting whoever the director is know as well. I think as parents we want to stay out of this relationship, but there are a lot of lousy coaches who get away with this stuff.
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      • You don’t know anything. So quick to jump in after hearing a second hand version of one side. I’m also fan of 14 year olds deciding what they want. 11-3-2021 10:16am
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