Tween/Teen

  1. Tween/Teen Where do nyc based teens go for STD testing? Their pediatrician doesn't seem right but insurance req visits to primary care .. cross posting w/nyc board 5-4-2018 10:57am (25 replies)
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    • There have to be free clinics. 5-4-2018 10:58am
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    • Urgent Care? 5-4-2018 11:01am
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      • They usually have a higher copay, no? You could try like a Minute Clinic type thing 5-4-2018 11:03am
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    • Planned Parenthood is excellent for this 5-4-2018 11:04am
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    • Planned parenthood maybe? 5-4-2018 11:04am
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    • If this was my dc, I would approach her ped first to see if she can do it or not. If dc does have a STD, I want her ped to know it 5-4-2018 11:13am
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      • Why? If it is easily cured? 5-4-2018 11:17am
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        • Because IMO it should be part of her medical record 5-4-2018 11:19am
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          • What is the basis of your opinion? 5-4-2018 11:20am
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            • Just that I trust our ped to make medical opinions for dc. I'm not sure what you are pushing back on. 5-4-2018 11:24am
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              • I don't know how comfortable most peds are treating STDs, for 1. And also I might not want it on the medical record. 5-4-2018 11:26am
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                • Oh I agree with your first statement - which is why I said that I would approach the ped with the question first. However I do think that just in case it has bearing on dc's...(more) 5-4-2018 11:28am
                  health as he/she ages, I would want the STD on the record. There is no harm in it being on the record.
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                  • You are more trusting than I am with that. 5-4-2018 11:32am
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    • gynecologist is considered primary care for insurance purposes if that helps you 5-4-2018 11:14am
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      • Unless it's a DS;) 5-4-2018 11:18am
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        • The place to go is family practice doctor, primary care and sees both genders. You can find an urgent care with a family practice doctor if need be and that is primary care. 5-4-2018 11:21am
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        • The surgeon is the mother! 5-4-2018 11:22am
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  2. Tween/Teen There is a group of moms in my town who are very close and do birthday lunches. I am friends with two of the moms and regularly run with them but neither invites me when it's her...(more) 4-23-2018 2:31pm (13 replies)
    birthday. I know it's an established group but still hurts to be left out and find out on Facebook. I know it's ridiculous but I find myself hoping to be invited each year. Anyone btdt? Have advice?
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    • Its their birthday thing so they keep it with juts them. I get it. I also get why you feel left out but its not personal. 4-23-2018 2:32pm
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    • im being very serious and not snarky when i say: get a job. seriously, you need something for you that is separate of your kids, the other moms, town... 4-23-2018 2:32pm
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      • ^and im engaged in my community, i have friends here, i have book club and get togethers, but i purposely seek a space outside of this 4-23-2018 2:32pm
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        • Np what do you do for work? Is it full time? 4-23-2018 2:45pm
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    • Thatís understandable! 4-23-2018 2:33pm
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    • the cliquey stuff doesn't end in HS. do you have other friends who are not part of this group? I cannot stand when adults post crap like that on FB. it just reinforces that...(more) 4-23-2018 2:34pm
      cliquieness.
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      • np: with the caption "best girls!" 4-23-2018 2:35pm
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        • Yes. So annoying! 4-23-2018 2:37pm
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      • I do have other friends not in the group and try to just be happy that I have friends and accept those friendships for what they are. 4-23-2018 2:36pm
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    • Do you invite them to your bday? 4-23-2018 2:35pm
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      • Summer birthday so usually I'm out of town. One of them always gives me a little gift though 4-23-2018 2:39pm
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    • It is so much easier to be an introvert. :) 4-23-2018 2:35pm
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    • Do you take them out to lunch separately? 4-23-2018 2:46pm
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  3. Tween/Teen Are senior portraits a thing in the NYC area? 4-22-2018 11:54pm (4 replies)
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    • like those dopey sit on the railroad tracks to evoke a mood, standing in front of a wall in a flannel shirt and cowboy boots? No, those aren't a thing here. Just the regular...(more) 4-22-2018 11:56pm
      school photos.
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      • OP here. Yeah, apparently in some areas, seniors in high school do a whole photo shoot, and the parents can buy a page in the yearbook to say "congratulations" and put a few of...(more) 4-23-2018 10:43am
        the photos there. And for social media of course. Just wondering if kids in NYC do that too.
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    • No, they have a yearbook photo and it ends up in the book and in a drawer. 4-23-2018 12:20am
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    • I bought you new t for senior citizens!!! 4-23-2018 12:49am
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  4. Tween/Teen How do your teen boys carry their phones in the summer? Are cargo shorts 'out' for them too? Athletic shorts? 4-15-2018 3:55pm (7 replies)
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    • I love that you are thinking about this 4-15-2018 3:56pm
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      • op: I don't want to waste money on the cargo shorts, but I don't want them to lose/drop their phones either....lol 4-15-2018 3:57pm
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        • most athletic/lacrosse shorts have pockets 4-15-2018 3:59pm
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    • pockets 4-15-2018 3:58pm
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    • My teens won't wear cargo shorts or pants anymore. Just pockets. 4-15-2018 4:11pm
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  5. Tween/Teen Most regular college decisions are out. Where are your kids going? 4-1-2018 9:04am (21 replies)
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    • 5th grade. 4-1-2018 9:05am
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    • There are like three people. The Cornell for sophomore year, Kenyon... 4-1-2018 9:08am
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      • This post has been deleted. 4-1-2018 9:09am
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      • This post has been deleted. 4-1-2018 9:09am
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    • CMU 4-1-2018 9:08am
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      • Nice. My dd was WL ther yesterday :( 4-1-2018 9:11am
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        • GL! 4-1-2018 9:12am
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          • Ugh. The list never moves 4-1-2018 9:12am
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            • Iím sorry. :( 4-1-2018 9:13am
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              • It has been quite sucky. 4-1-2018 9:14am
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            • Weíre releasing it next week. 4-1-2018 5:36pm
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    • Dd was waitlisted at her top three schools. We are now trying to look at the other choices with some optimism 4-1-2018 9:10am
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      • ^^and make a decision. 4-1-2018 9:10am
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        • What schools? We may be able to help 4-1-2018 9:18am
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          • RPI and case western are the top two she is considering 4-1-2018 9:21am
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            • is her dad still being a dick? 4-1-2018 9:23am
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              • No. he is being great now actually 4-1-2018 9:24am
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    • Brandeis 4-1-2018 9:13am
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    • Georgetown 4-1-2018 9:19am
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      • Cornell 4-1-2018 9:36am
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    • Case western reserve. 4-1-2018 9:51am
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  6. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 3-27-2018 9:57am (17 replies)
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    • wait you want to go to bat for a kid who you give enough lattitude to that he has hickeys? lol. 3-27-2018 9:57am
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      • You have a teenager? 3-27-2018 10:01am
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        • i sure do. i bet you think he still believes in santa too 3-27-2018 10:02am
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          • Are you stupid or what? 3-27-2018 10:03am
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            • "or what" i guess. 3-27-2018 10:04am
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    • Is so morons taking advantage of him? 3-27-2018 9:57am
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    • Nice fake. 3-27-2018 9:59am
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    • what is a "funded private"? there is a social worker at his school? 3-27-2018 9:59am
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      • This post has been deleted. 3-27-2018 10:01am
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    • is this fake? 3-27-2018 10:00am
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      • This post has been deleted. 3-27-2018 10:01am
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        • Should have posted on the Staten Island crazy lady board 3-27-2018 10:03am
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    • Time for a turtle neck or scarf 3-27-2018 10:00am
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    • My teen is 15 and hickeys are a thing now - I see teens covered in them. She has never mentioned that a teacher reprimanded her, and she goes to a strict ss school with a strict...(more) 3-27-2018 10:05am
      dress code
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      • np if this is a choice the kids are making then the parents can't just call the school and say please excuse my kid's neck full of hickeys lol. i would love to hear that...(more) 3-27-2018 10:06am
        conversation
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        • The point is teachers shouldnít say anything at all. 3-27-2018 10:07am
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          • lol. then by all means please get timmy excused for making out too much with toothy chicks 3-27-2018 10:08am
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  7. Tween/Teen Http://www.supplementssouthafrica.co.za/testo-ultra-south-africa/...(more) 3-24-2018 3:19am (0 replies)
    Testo Ultra It extraordinarily enhances the anabolic procedure of the body. This anabolic procedure builds the level of testosterone in the body while in the meantime helping in the development of fine tore muscles Testo Ultra South africa.To get more info visit here: http://www.supplementssouthafrica.co.za/testo-ultra-south-africa/
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  8. Tween/Teen Please tell me it is perfectly okay that my girls and I are ready to take a break from all the therapy we've been doing since DH died over a year ago. He got sick three years and...(more) 3-22-2018 12:03am (6 replies)
    died last October. They don't want to do it anymore (at least right now). And, frankly, I've never been one to wallow in sadness and grief.
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    • it's fine. sorry for your loss. long term therapy isn't for everyone. 3-22-2018 12:04am
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    • it's fine! the offer is there if they need it, right? that's what matters. you sound like a great mom. 3-22-2018 12:09am
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    • Yes, of course. And come on...you know that even if you decide you have had enough for now, itís not as though the therapists would refuse to see you again, should you need to. 3-22-2018 12:11am
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    • OP: Thank you both! Doing the best I can. We have a good tribe. I would rather spend out of pocket money on going to the beach for the weekend or fun things that are memorable...(more) 3-22-2018 12:11am
      and therapeutic in their own ways. At least for now. Who knows what will surface the next few years.
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    • Psychiatrist here - absolutely perfectly ok 3-22-2018 12:12am
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      • TY. Older daughter will still see psychiatrist to monitor adhd meds, but both girls have told me they don't want to do it anymore. 3-22-2018 12:16am
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  9. Tween/Teen Dh refuses to believe that our election may have been compromised. When I tell him what I've been reading, he essentially says "there, there, little lady" 3-20-2018 9:32am (43 replies)
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    • compromised how? 3-20-2018 9:32am
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      • Have you been following the news. Heard of Cambridge Analytica? 3-20-2018 9:33am
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        • It was Facebook 3-20-2018 9:34am
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          • Russia bought the ads that won the election 3-20-2018 9:34am
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          • Yes. And Cambridge Analytica 3-20-2018 9:34am
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            • They did the graphics on the Facebook ad. They picked an unflattering picture of Hillary 3-20-2018 9:35am
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              • You should read up on what the company actually does. 3-20-2018 9:37am
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                • It was the picture that lost it for her 3-20-2018 9:39am
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        • no, I actually haven't heard of that. What I've heard about is how some Russians spent about $5k on FB ads, in an election where both parties spent well over $2,000,000,000. 3-20-2018 9:34am
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    • DHAFSWIATL 3-20-2018 9:32am
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    • We might not know the full truth of this for another decade or so. Why bother arguing? 3-20-2018 9:33am
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      • It's not that I think I know anything for certain. It's his patronizing tone. 3-20-2018 9:34am
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    • So you married an idiot 3-20-2018 9:33am
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      • What do you mean? 3-20-2018 9:35am
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    • Yep. Just like Hillary said about wifeís doing what the man of the house tells them 3-20-2018 9:33am
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      • Hillary has absolutely nothing to do with this post 3-20-2018 9:35am
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        • Yes she does. Keeping women in their place 3-20-2018 9:36am
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          • Nope. This is not about H 3-20-2018 9:38am
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    • This post has been deleted. 3-20-2018 9:36am
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    • Maybe his approval isnít so necessary 3-20-2018 9:38am
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      • It isn't, but his basic respect is necessary 3-20-2018 9:39am
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      • approval? He's being an ASS 3-20-2018 9:42am
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        • He had the same reaction when I was worried about Trump winning the election 3-20-2018 9:44am
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    • so you married a douchebag 3-20-2018 9:40am
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  10. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 3-15-2018 11:51am (31 replies)
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    • i would not at all push this. he's not her father, and he's never played that role. 3-15-2018 11:52am
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    • let it go 3-15-2018 11:52am
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    • You are wrong. He is not her father and you canít force respect. 3-15-2018 11:52am
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    • It's not her father. 3-15-2018 11:52am
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      • It's not her father, but isn't"happy Father's Day" something you say to all fathers? Husband has a son from his first marriage so he is a father. I feel like it's rude ...(more) 3-15-2018 11:54am
        not to acknowledge this.
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        • why is this so important to you? 3-15-2018 11:55am
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          • I guess I feel that she is being unsupportive of my marriage 3-15-2018 12:11pm
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            • You say "She and current husband have never gotten along very well." Wishing him a happy father's day won't fix that. You married someone you knew she didn't like. You have t...(more) 3-15-2018 12:14pm
              deal with that. She doesn't have to like him. It's not rude to not wish him a happy father's day.
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        • Come on. You canít be serious. 3-15-2018 11:56am
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        • no, and it is really offensive to be forced to say it to someone you don't like. Would you like to be forced to tell Woody Allen 'happy father's day'? 3-15-2018 11:57am
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        • Does his son wish you a happy motherís day? 3-15-2018 11:58am
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          • Yes. I have a great relationship with the son who is also a young adult. He lost his mom around the same age as my daughter. 3-15-2018 11:59am
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            • well cool, but you have a great relationship. She doesn't. 3-15-2018 12:02pm
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        • No, and not if you dont get along with him 3-15-2018 12:04pm
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    • i have a 25 yo dd who's dad was not in her life and i would never expect her to wish my dh happy father's day. this is something you need to let go. 3-15-2018 11:53am
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      • ^^and we have a very similar time frame for dating and marrying. my dh would never expect that from dd. that's not their relationship. 3-15-2018 11:54am
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    • Nope, itís an empty sentiment if she doesnít mean it. Your husband will know it. You shouldnít put that expectation on her. 3-15-2018 11:53am
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    • I think he needs to grow up. Her dad died and was replaced by a guy she doesn't like. Just tolerating him is plenty, and you will push her away if you put him first. 3-15-2018 11:54am
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    • Don't. That's out of line. Especially if he isn't great to her. 3-15-2018 11:55am
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    • Coming up again? Itís in JUNE. 3-15-2018 12:03pm
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      • I know, but I want to really give this some thought. I still give daughter about $250 a month in financial help, even though she has a job and her own place. I'm thinking of...(more) 3-15-2018 12:10pm
        telling her that she needs to work on the relationship with husband or this money will stop. Then hopefully her attitude improves now so that by June the Father's Day conflict is resolved on its own.
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        • yes, that should work really well, and not foment any resentment at all 3-15-2018 12:11pm
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          • She's already resentful 3-15-2018 12:11pm
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            • well this should totally eliminate that. 3-15-2018 12:15pm
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              • np: I think this is a fake post. 3-15-2018 12:17pm
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                • me too 3-15-2018 12:18pm
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                • Ok you're partly right. I'm actually the daughter and this is something my mom used to do to me years ago. And I'm still angry about it. Just needed an objective opinion that...(more) 3-15-2018 12:21pm
                  what she did was f*cked up, and I have that now. So thanks.
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                  • why didn't you ask as it really was? 3-15-2018 12:25pm
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                    • Because this is a forum for parents, and I thought it might be inappropriate or not well received to post as the daughter 3-15-2018 12:27pm
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  11. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 3-2-2018 3:47pm (0 replies)
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  12. Tween/Teen Reposting to tween/teen board: 13 y/o DD has been struggling academically since DH...(more) 2-22-2018 9:35pm (9 replies)
    died over a year ago. She has willfully avoided doing homework; just found out today she and another girl skipped a class;...(more) (0 replies)
    shopping online instead of doing her homework in class on computer(!). Someone has suggested a therapeutic boarding school before things get worse. This is truly a last resort. Between therapists, tutors, mentors; constant coordinating of play dates with friends; not to mention just letting her know I love her so much and want the best for her, she continues to make poor choices. My heart aches so much, but I am also internally angry and feel helpless.
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    • No advice. Heartbreaking for both of you. :-( 2-22-2018 9:36pm
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    • Why would you send her away? She just wants love and attention. I would just be around her more. 2-22-2018 9:37pm
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      • Not at all inclined to send her away. All of this is heartbreaking enough. 2-22-2018 9:47pm
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    • Iím sorry. FWIW 13 year old girls seem to struggle so much regardless. Not minimizing at all. Just wanting to give hope that it gets better with time. 2-22-2018 9:37pm
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      • OP: I know. I was her age when my parents divorced. I have no clue how I even passed. My parents were never around. I wish they had cared a tiny percent about my well-being. 2-22-2018 9:48pm
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    • My mother does 2-22-2018 9:47pm
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    • My mother died when I was 12. It was the defining moment of my life. I completely messed up in school. I did not have half of the wonderful supports you are giving her. It is...(more) 2-22-2018 9:49pm
      going to take all long time. Please do not worry. She will find her way back. But please do not send her away. She will be okay but it is a long road. I promise. Hang in there and Iím so sorry for your loss.
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      • OP: This is why I come back here for support. Thank you. I know I'm not crazy. Yes, it is SO hard to watch her completely unravel. But I can't imagine sending her away to let...(more) 2-22-2018 9:52pm
        strangers try to "fix her".
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        • You sounds like such a good mom...and you must be going though so much yourself, coping with DH's death. Just be there for her and make sure she knows how much you love her. Can...(more) 2-23-2018 9:54am
          you start spending extra time with her? Might that help? Sending you a big hug.
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  13. Tween/Teen Is this ADHD - DS 13 is constantly has to be reminded to do his homework, has trouble not talking in class. He goes to a top school gets mostly B grades and when we make him study...(more) 2-21-2018 3:20pm (4 replies)
    a lot he gets occasional A grades. He is an excellent chess player and can play in tournament for hours. However, his forgetfulness and impulse control in class makes me wonder if he is aDhd. DH thinks he is just lazy.
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    • Could be adhd, youíd have to have him checked out 2-21-2018 3:21pm
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    • have him checked for adhd; sounds like all the signs to me (I have 2 dcs with adhd) 2-21-2018 3:26pm
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      • How and where should he get checked. Does he have to go through a pediatrician.How much does something like this cost to get evaluated. 2-21-2018 3:28pm
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        • You can start with your pediatrician, but in all likelihood he/she should recommend you see a neuropsychologist who can do an evaluation. 2-21-2018 3:29pm
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  14. Tween/Teen Math...(more) 2-14-2018 6:09pm (12 replies)
    cherry's 8 week old golden retriever puppy weighs 24 pounds this is 32 times the weight of the puppy at birth what was the weight of the puppy at birth
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    • 24/32 2-14-2018 6:10pm
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    • .75 lbs..(12 ounces) 2-14-2018 6:10pm
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    • 3/4 pound 2-14-2018 6:10pm
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    • 8 x 24 = 32 x X 2-14-2018 6:10pm
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      • lol - no 2-14-2018 6:11pm
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        • LOL. I know. I'm goofing around. My 11 yo ds can work it out but he's in the other room. 2-14-2018 6:12pm
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      • 192=32x 2-14-2018 6:11pm
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      • No 2-14-2018 6:11pm
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    • 24/32 = 3/4 lb = 12 oz 2-14-2018 6:11pm
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    • Stop doing your kid's homework! 2-14-2018 6:13pm
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      • ^^Is Cherry Stormy's sister? 2-14-2018 6:13pm
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      • lol, my 11 yr old hijacked this 2-14-2018 6:14pm
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  15. Tween/Teen Any opinions on Buckley School? 2-14-2018 9:50am (22 replies)
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    • my nephews went there. then to exeter. 2-14-2018 9:51am
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    • Great school 2-14-2018 9:51am
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    • ok place but why bother having to apply all over again in 8th 2-14-2018 9:51am
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      • doesn't it only go to 9th? 2-14-2018 9:51am
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        • Yes meanng you spend 8th getting ready to apply out. All kids goto boarding, not good enough to switch to say collegiate etc 2-14-2018 9:52am
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          • np: That's utter bullshit. Look up their exmissions, they send kids to all NYC privates too. Collegiate is not popular because after 9 years in all boys they want coed but...(more) 2-14-2018 9:59am
            Trinity and Riverdale definitely have Buckley kids.
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            • ^^^it is the remaining bastion of the old money wasps though so there are still more boys headed to boarding from there than any other school in NYC. 2-14-2018 10:00am
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      • it only goes to 9th 2-14-2018 9:52am
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    • Good school, nice facility, only goes to 8th, same with Greenvale. Publics are all so good around there though. 2-14-2018 9:52am
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      • wrong buckley 2-14-2018 9:54am
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        • She's not talking about Buckley on LI? Is there another Buckley school? 2-14-2018 9:55am
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          • in manhattan 2-14-2018 9:55am
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            • there's one in NYC? 2-14-2018 9:56am
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              • no, i am making it up 2-14-2018 9:57am
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      • OP is asking about the NYC Buckley presumably. 2-14-2018 9:57am
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        • why would I think this? 2-14-2018 9:57am
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          • Because NYC is the center of the universe, obviously. 2-14-2018 9:59am
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          • you might not. but now you do. 2-14-2018 10:00am
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    • Donít know anything about Buckley but do know about applying from K-8 for a boy and itís tough 2-14-2018 9:57am
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      • np: Buckley actually has 9th grade which helps if you want boarding. Agree that it is not easiest thing if you want to stay in the city and have no legacies or connections...(more) 2-14-2018 9:57am
        elsewhere.
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    • OP...(more) 2-14-2018 10:10am
      op here- thank you for feedback. struggling with some decisions. and, yes, in NYC. sorry from out of town and thought this was an only nyc forum!
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      • What other options do you have besides Buckley? My DS is not there but at another boys' school and we know kids at all of them. 2-14-2018 10:12am
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  16. Tween/Teen Worried about 16 year old DS...(more) 2-10-2018 4:44pm (9 replies)
    DS has a B average, never any complaints at school, friends at school. However, after doing two hours of homework a day, he spends the entire day in his room watching YouTube videos. No interest in anything else no matter what we suggest. He used to do arty activities, now just lounging around eating, watching YouTube.
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    • turn off the internet and his phone 2-10-2018 4:44pm
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    • sounds like me at that age, i discovered weed. 2-10-2018 4:45pm
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    • - no subject -...(more) 2-10-2018 4:47pm
      Take him to do stuff. YouTube is an addiction. My DS is the same and I force him to turn it off.
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    • This post has been disliked 4 times. showNo more phone, internet or computer. After homework have him sit in a room either reading books you pick out, listening to classical music or learning to play the harp. Once a...(more) 2-10-2018 4:47pm
      week have the entire family gather to either share humerous stories, read aloud from the Bible or discuss 17th Century Hungarian Opera. On occasion the family could listen to a comedic record from the mid 20th century when people are in need of a giggle.
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      • psst: don't quit your day job 2-10-2018 4:50pm
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    • Tlak to him 2-10-2018 4:47pm
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    • have you tried to set a boundary with it or just let him do what he wants? 2-10-2018 4:49pm
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    • School all day, then 2 hours of homework. I would be so tired 2-10-2018 4:50pm
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    • Dissconnecto 2-10-2018 5:07pm
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  17. Tween/Teen Hi Trump! Your parade may be awesome. Please pay for it yourself . Or tell me how much it costs us taxpayers. 2-8-2018 4:50pm (7 replies)
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    • activists are going to shut it down 2-8-2018 4:50pm
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    • I'm a veteran and follow the Military Times page. They had a poll and 81% of active duty and veterans said NO, waste of time and money. 2-8-2018 4:51pm
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    • I'm an actual Republican and I'm panicking. Stop wasting my money 2-8-2018 4:53pm
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    • Watch, these boobs will try and spin this parade absurdity so their lemming base goes for it, it's a total sham but it will happen. And it will have its attendance exaggerated...(more) 2-8-2018 4:55pm
      just like every other Trump event. I hope they all rot in hell.
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    • Even if he does pay for it himself our troops need a freaking DC parade like they need a hole in their boots. They are over extended as it is. It's not like they will make...(more) 2-8-2018 5:04pm
      overtime for the extra hours of practice.
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    • Doesn't any expense stay within the public sector? So it's a wash, right? 2-8-2018 5:10pm
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  18. Tween/Teen My 15 yo DS is a handsome kid but has a very big nose which is also out of proportion with his face. His chin is also slightly recessed . I would not consider plastic surgery but...(more) 2-7-2018 4:24pm (7 replies)
    he is constantly teased in HS because of this and he has asked me numerous times about getting a nose job. Can anyone recommend a good Rhinoplasty surgeon in NYC area and also is there any way this can be covered (at least partially) by insurance? He doesnt really have breathing issues but does get constant nosebleeds lately (not sure if related). Thanks in advance for any advice here.
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    • jewish? 2-7-2018 4:25pm
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      • This post has been deleted. 2-7-2018 4:30pm
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        • We aren't Jewish. His paternal Grandma had a big nose 2-7-2018 4:32pm
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    • He probably has to wait a few years and I doubt it would be covered by insurance. 2-7-2018 4:25pm
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    • bring him to a consult for more info. I don't think there's anything wrong with it 2-7-2018 4:27pm
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      • Doyou know of any good surgeons in NYC for a free consult? 2-7-2018 4:32pm
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    • I knkw of teen girls who get nose jobs. It seems that your face changes as you age, the doctors will know when to operate. 2-7-2018 4:33pm
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  19. Tween/Teen Discovered on Thursday that our 13-year-old has a secret Tumblr account, expressly against our permission. On Friday, I went through her phone and found out that she had also...(more) 2-5-2018 11:50am (49 replies)
    done a couple of other things that we told her she could not do. There was drama. She focused on the fact that I had gone through her phone, rather than on what she had done. She lost her electronics Friday night and I installed Qustodio. Turns out that she spends an awful lot of time on the Internet. Including late at night. We are now taking her electronics at 11, end of story, and monitoring her internet usage. Closely.
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    • You own that phone donít you, and pay for the service. Enough said 2-5-2018 11:51am
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    • well, duh 2-5-2018 11:52am
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      • stopwatch the dislikes...parents can't even manage social media and you expect a 13yo to have their device in their room after 11 and not be on it? 2-5-2018 11:56am
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    • they do that...they deflect and make it about you. mine does this ALL THE TIME . puts you on the defensive 2-5-2018 11:52am
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    • We take away electronics at night too (my dd is 12 1/2), usually around 10:00 during the week and 11:00 on weekends. My response to "you invaded my privacy" is "privacy is...(more) 2-5-2018 11:53am
      something you earn. And, as long as I'm paying for the phone, it is not your phone."
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      • Np: yeah but also ďyouíre a kid. Until youíre 18 Iím in charge of your phone. Not to punish you for no reason, but because nobody your age gets how dangerous the internet is. You...(more) 2-5-2018 12:01pm
        THINK you know, but you dont reallyĒ. Then I used the true story of ddís classmate: she was 13 when the police showed up at the familyís door one night. Sheíd been in ďintimate internet communicationĒ with a bunch of adult men in some kind of intl porn ring - but obvious the real illegality was her age. They almost arrested her parents, who were the most oblivious people ever. Firm believers in kids having total privacy, and learning from their mistakes.
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    • Rookie mistake to allow any electronics in her room at night 2-5-2018 11:53am
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      • And to have forgotten to have ownership for it 2-5-2018 11:54am
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    • good for you. 2-5-2018 11:53am
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    • she should check her phone in to you each night before she goes to bed 2-5-2018 11:53am
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    • i know it feels disappointing. but that's the thing with 13 yos-they have terrible judgement. good for you for taking it over. 2-5-2018 11:53am
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    • Yup. So it goes. It has taken dd until 19yo to learn ďwhen we ask you about something important and you flat out lie, that makes it hard to trust you about small things too, like...(more) 2-5-2018 11:55am
      whether you really walked the dog or not.Ē She really couldnt absorb that at 14, 15, 16, etc.
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      • i mean this kindly b/c my 14 yr old still doesn't get it either. but how fucking hard is that to understand?!?!!? they all know the story of the boy who cried wolf. it's the same...(more) 2-5-2018 11:55am
        thing!!!!
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        • because they're 14 and their brains develop until they're 25 2-5-2018 11:59am
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          • i swear to god my friends and i weren't like this. or do i not remember?? i could at least realize if i got caught lying, then i'm not going to be believed about other stuff. 2-5-2018 12:00pm
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            • part of it was that we didn't have phones or social media. that's a whole other, crazy, thing 2-5-2018 12:01pm
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              • i hate it!!! other than google maps, i could give it up 2-5-2018 12:02pm
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                • I was just listening to NPR some founder of google has decided the internet is NOT GOOD for society overall. he has established some center for "tech for humanity." I am agreeing...(more) 2-5-2018 12:03pm
                  these days
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                • i hear you. my older 2 dc have managed fine. but my 13yo ds has to be watched like a hawk-terrible judgement 2-5-2018 12:03pm
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                  • i gave up on taking my DDs away at night so i just shut it down. all that's left is phone (they never use taht) and music and alarm 2-5-2018 12:04pm
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                  • At 16, my dd stole a WW1 era pistol out of her dying grandfatherís army trunk. He disabled it long before I was born. But she took it and posted it on IG on her pillow. It was how...(more) 2-5-2018 12:09pm
                    I recognized it. She was genuinely sorry, we knew that. But we gave her a good scare by telling her the many adults who follow her are mandated reporters, and there was every chance the cops would show up at our door. Even though we had no idea she took it weíd be arrested. She might be released and not prosecuted by law. But her little sister would be taken and put in foster care for the next 8 years. And her stupid, impulsive decision to look cool by doing that could still very possibly cause that to happen! I think the scaring worked.
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        • That is why they still require heavy handed interventions. THey won't get it, so you impose. 2-5-2018 12:00pm
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          • how the fuck did people marry and procreate and run a household as teens? 2-5-2018 12:00pm
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            • simpler times. you lived close to your families-and deferred to them. lots of sex. 2-5-2018 12:02pm
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              • plus i guess just lots of work. no time for stupid shit 2-5-2018 12:03pm
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            • They fucked up all of the time. My parents sure did. 2-5-2018 12:02pm
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              • i mean way back, when people got married at 15 and 16 2-5-2018 12:04pm
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            • as teens?? 2-5-2018 12:04pm
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              • like in 1800 2-5-2018 12:04pm
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                • teens have never really established households on their own. average age of male marriage in history is late 20s. the 1950s America with marriage at 21 or whatever is not a...(more) 2-5-2018 12:05pm
                  historical trend....
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                  • really? even from 1700s??? 2-5-2018 12:06pm
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                    • yes. was early 20s 2-5-2018 12:07pm
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            • One thing - training started a lot earlier. Another thing - who says they ran a household properly?...(more) 2-5-2018 12:14pm
              Kitchen fires got neglected, lye got swallowed, kids fell down wells or got kicked by horses... life was dangerous in 1800, too. The dangers were just different ones.
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          • Yup 2-5-2018 12:03pm
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        • Beats me. But I called her pediatric psychiatrist (anxiety, ADD, depression), and she said itís actually very common. Them seem sophisticated and world-wise but they arent. And...(more) 2-5-2018 12:03pm
          impulsiveness or adolescent peer pressure, and there it is. STILL...! WTF?
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    • Take the electronics at 9 2-5-2018 12:01pm
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    • She's confused. It's not her phone. It's the device you allow her to make your life convenient 2-5-2018 12:01pm
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      • I find them more inconvenient than convenient 2-5-2018 12:04pm
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        • Then why give a young child one? 2-5-2018 12:05pm
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          • not sure what you mean by young-- teens aren't 5-- but I haven't given my 11yo one (older one got one at 12- I am holding out longer this time) 2-5-2018 12:07pm
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            • 13 is young 2-5-2018 12:07pm
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              • yes, but its not a young child. its a young teen. 2-5-2018 12:08pm
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                • Teen is an invented term imho. As is tween. For us, 13 is too young for a phone. 2-5-2018 12:10pm
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                  • ok. but adolescence is a separate stage from childhood. 2-5-2018 12:11pm
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    • They are going to make mistakes and be punished for them and learn to make the right choices. 3-17-2018 9:14am
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    • 11 seems late. My high school freshman and senior have data and wifi turned off at 10pm on school nights. 3-17-2018 9:16am
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    • - no subject -...(more) 3-17-2018 9:18am
      They are all going to make bad choices, it is age appropriate. And we have to teach them by punishing them for a time and then trust them again to make better decisions eventually they will learn. I guess that is what parenting is
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    • My 7th grader (just turned 13) has lost her apps privilieges since I've downloaded OurPact. Her grades were plummeting and she was interacting with strangers on...(more) 3-21-2018 11:56pm
      instagram/snapchat. Her phone only has text/call option (or checking the weather; listening to music). No electronics/tv after 9pm and phone stays with me until morning after she is dressed and ready for school.
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    • This is why I am grateful for all educators who work with teenagers. It takes a special kind of person to deal with the stupid shit they do. 3-22-2018 12:22am
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  20. Tween/Teen PCOS...(more) 1-25-2018 5:07pm (3 replies)
    Hey everyone, I am new in this forum. Please tell me how to deal with PCO's? I am so much worried. My sister in law came to know about this and she is trying to make an issue. A serious issue. I would love getting more and more solutions to deal with my problem? Can I get pregnant with this? Actually I cant go to doctors because it will create an other issue with my in laws. My husband has gone out of city a month before and he will come after 3 months. My periods are very painful. Cramping is like always be a partner. Please help me. Sorry for forcing but I really need a help.
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    • YES...(more) 2-5-2018 10:58am
      honey sure you can get pregnant with PCOS. In-laws can be a huge pain in the ass but trust me it is possible to get pregnant after being diagnosed with PCOS. try to maintain your sugar and insulin levels, you will need to go to the doctor for it but a lot of women are dealing with it. It's not an issue at all.
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    • This is such a strange post. You can't go to the doctor because of your inlaws? 2-5-2018 11:01am
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    • yes...(more) 2-5-2018 11:36am
      honey sure you can get pregnant with PCOS. In-laws can be a huge pain in the ass but trust me it is possible to get pregnant after being diagnosed with PCOS. try to maintain your sugar and insulin levels, you will need to go to the doctor for it but a lot of women are dealing with it. It's not an issue at all.
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  21. Tween/Teen If you invite people to anything do not charge them. This is neither a party, nor hosting . It's a fundraiser 1-14-2018 4:57pm (11 replies)
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    • Ok Why dislike? Please explain 1-14-2018 4:59pm
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    • I agree with you on this 1-14-2018 5:00pm
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    • you didn't tell the whole story. you were invited for a drink. probably a toast. but you and your friends took advantage and got shit faced on their dime 1-14-2018 5:01pm
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      • Ooh I am OP of this post the total context eludes me 1-14-2018 5:03pm
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        • Though I'd never ask for money 1-14-2018 5:04pm
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      • Ooh is that why they were billed? 1-14-2018 5:06pm
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        • Even so. You cannot bill your guests for being assholes . You can no longer invite them...(more) 1-14-2018 5:07pm
          I
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          • np But it was an open bar or not? I am confused. 1-14-2018 5:11pm
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    • ITA 100% 1-14-2018 5:07pm
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    • ok, you can't post this and not explain the situation. what happened? 1-14-2018 5:09pm
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    • You're posting on TWEEN! Someone is pointing this out in another post!! Lol!! 1-14-2018 5:23pm
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  22. Tween/Teen Winston prep...(more) 1-10-2018 4:39pm (1 reply)
    How is Winston prep different from Churchill?
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    • Winston prep kids didnít get into churchill 1-10-2018 4:41pm
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  23. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 1-2-2018 9:39am (1 reply)
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    • Thatís insane, how far away 1-2-2018 9:41am
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  24. Tween/Teen This post has been deleted. 12-28-2017 7:35pm (0 replies)
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  25. Tween/Teen Trans CriticalGroup - NYC...(more) 12-28-2017 7:32pm (8 replies)
    Please no flaming. If you are in NYC and are the parent of a trans ID'ing teen or tween, yet you are not affirming and are skeptical of the movement in general. If you are worried about the medicalization of children and/or your child's school gender-studies curriculum, I am interested in speaking with you.
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    • Sorry this post was cut off.......(more) 12-28-2017 7:34pm
      I am forming a group of NYC based gender critical parents. Please reply here or to bseverus76@gmail.com.
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      • np you might want to post on Toddler? although you will get a lot of flames, more people will see it IMO 12-28-2017 7:34pm
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        • Thanks, don't mind the flames. It is too important a subject. 12-28-2017 7:38pm
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          • are you a regular poster here? I am and have noticed that anyone questioning anything about transgender activism is called a "trans troll". it's a little weird and Orwellian and...(more) 12-28-2017 7:41pm
            tbh it led me to look into the subject elsewhere although I know 0 trans people including transgender children...but these issues are coming up in the high school where my dc are zoned. a lot of things I have read are interesting, baffling, and have made me think a lot. anyway I am just warning you this is not a friendly place to question anything relating to trans activism
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            • Leave it to NYC to care about this issue. 12-28-2017 7:49pm
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              • I am not from NYC, fwiw...I don't see it at all as an NYC issue 12-28-2017 7:52pm
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              • This is a national and international issue. If you had a child going through this and threatening medical intervention, you might be concerned to....(more) 12-28-2017 7:56pm
                Plenty of parents whose kids are not trans ID'ing are worried to. 1 million parents in Peru just marched to turn back a transgender curriculum in the schools. People are concerned--with good reason.
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            • Thank you for the heads-up. I don't mind. I am the parent of a trans ID'ing kid...(more) 12-28-2017 7:54pm
              I am schooled in the Orwellian trans discourse. I know a lot about the subject; I am living it. I am a new poster here. If parents are skeptical (and a lot of doctors, teachers and parents secretly are but are afraid), they need a voice. I am raising my conscience at my kid's school b/c we have had three trans speakers in the course of 1 year. No radical feminists. No one training the teachers on race. This is the "woke" subject du jour. Anyone who questions this theory is called a transphobe--but there is too much at stake for my kid and others'. I won't be silenced. If anyone wants to join in common cause, please write to me here or privately. Our numbers are growing nationally and in the UK. Thanks!
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