Search Results for "autism | autistic"

  1. Special Needs ADHD moms--I have a good friend with a 10yo DS who has diagnosed ADHD. Is it typical for kids with ADHD to act out violently? Their apartment has holes in walls and doors off...(more) 4 hr 4 min ago (34 replies)
    hinges and other kinds of serious damage. Younger child is having issues and seems traumatized. I'm not trying to butt in--the reason I'm asking is bc we're from the same foreign country and it's very typical in our culture to be in denial about special needs. Wondering if there could be more going on, like high-functioning autism or something else. The child is verbal and very, very bright, but seems unbelievable frustrated and unable to regulate.
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    • No. That isnt typical. But what is typical is for other disorders to be present. 4 hr 3 min ago
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      • OP And obviously it's possible that he has ADHD and other emotional issues--maybe reactions to stress in his life. I know his parents' marriage is suffering but he's been like...(more) 4 hr 1 min ago
        this since a really early age and I'm not sure which is the causal factor here.
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        • No, you are not sure and even an experienced pediatric psychiatrist may not be able to determine. But it sounds like the kid ought to be under the care of one. 3 hr 58 min ago
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    • not typical 4 hr 3 min ago
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    • I wouldn't say he has autism. Many kids with ADHD are explosive and have horrible impulse control. My DS has broken things a couple of times. Mostly he swears a lot. 4 hr 1 min ago
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      • OP This place is busted up, though. Like, beyond repair. 4 hr 1 min ago
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        • My kid got mad at his brother and kicked a glass door. Which broke. So yeah--I'm not saying it's great or that the kid doesn't need help, but I wouldn't start adding diagnoses 3 hr 59 min ago
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          • I don;t know--she tells me they tried medicating but it wasn't working. I worry there may be refusal to address issues they can't handle. Not unusual in my culture. My cousin...(more) 3 hr 57 min ago
            is a doctor and pulled her DC out of school when they wanted to put him in special ed. Moved back to home country where he's most definitely not getting help.
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            • It sounds like he needs help. Too bad that his parents aren't working harder to get it 3 hr 55 min ago
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            • Well, there is no shortage of american families who also pretend a serious problem is merely a phase. Shame, because if a kid’s suffering can be helped and if family life can be...(more) 3 hr 53 min ago
              happier, why not do what it takes? I have little sympathy for such people.
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              • True. There are also lots of families who can't afford to get the assistance their kids need 3 hr 43 min ago
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                • Yes indeed. But Inwas talking more about the parents who dont want to do anything about it, not really. 3 hr 42 min ago
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    • It may not be the son who is doing it. Do you know that for a fact? 3 hr 57 min ago
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      • I'm pretty sure. The parents have been separated for almost a year and the dad is not around. I'd be really surprised if it was the mom, and also paternal grandma is there often...(more) 3 hr 55 min ago
        as well as dc's therapists.
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        • ^and I've seen the child act out--never break things but throws food against the wall, hit my child, etc. 3 hr 55 min ago
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          • ^I guess it's not impossible that the child witnessed some kind of abuse at home. I wouldn't know. 3 hr 52 min ago
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    • I REFUSE TO RESPOND TO THESE KINDS OF POSTS. THEY'RE TROLLISH AND INTRUSIVE 3 hr 53 min ago
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      • OP Whatever. I'm an immigrant kid and sometimes kids suffer bc parents are trapped in old-country culture. She asks for my help--I'd like to try to help her. 3 hr 50 min ago
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    • My kids with ADHD do nothing like that. That's excessive and more likely ODD. Friend needs 2d opinion 3 hr 53 min ago
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      • ODD and lack of emotional regulation are different. Yes, the friend needs additional assistance. 3 hr 50 min ago
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        • OP She'll never seek it out though. And it sounds like the teachers are way overwhelmed. 3 hr 49 min ago
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          • ^can I ask what you would suggest if a friend like this asked you for help? 3 hr 48 min ago
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            • Np: my own experience has been that if you have personally had experience in this and someone asks your advice about it, most of the time they are just gathering stories. They...(more) 3 hr 44 min ago
              dont actually take any action. I would never say “If I were you, I would .....” I ask “What would you like to change?” and maybe “Which option are you going to try?”.
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              • She's asking me because I've lived here for 40+ years and she's lived here for 10. She doesn't feel comfortable in the American system. She also asks me for my opinion with...(more) 3 hr 42 min ago
                things like job searches, schools for her kids, etc.
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                • Okay. 3 hr 42 min ago
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                  • Not sure what you're saying. I'm not "gathering stories". About what, SN kids with immigrnat parents? I know I don't have experience with this kind of situation but you don...(more) 3 hr 39 min ago
                    have to get defensive. I can't imagine there are really people who are rubberneckers about this stuff.
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                    • Not defensive. Just telling you my experience. If they’ve been here 10 years I am 3 hr 6 min ago
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                      • ^surprised they dont already know how to go about researching or at least getting some support from school. But you have already indicated they are likely to not be very receptive...(more) 3 hr 3 min ago
                        to mental health/behavioral intervention. I was just trying to explain to you that’s very common in non-immigrant families too. They make a pretense of seking solutions but they dont follow through. Good luck.
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    • OP Wow, I'm sorry I asked. I don;t think I've ever been accused of being a gawker into the lives of families with SN kids before! 3 hr 36 min ago
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      • The responses here are really weird. 3 hr 33 min ago
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        • It's because she's very obviously not a SN mom. 3 hr 31 min ago
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          • To OP, disregard those who think you are trolling. Some people can’t believe there are kids with these issues...(more) 3 hr 26 min ago
            And some can’t believe someone would like to be helpful to people in this situation. You are trying to help and challenging behavior is hard to discuss. Give your friend a copy of the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene and tell her that ACS is going to get called on her unless she deals with the behavior. That may get her attention.
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    • My son has ADHD and Anxiety which looks like anger, frustration, defiance. He has been difficult at times but never a hole in the wall - he's never gotten that far. I don't 'think...(more) 3 hr 31 min ago
      think it's typical
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    • My dd's half-sister has ADHD and used to get into physical fights as a kid. Had to change schools as a result. Her ADHD was widely acknowledged, but never treated. 2 hr 58 min ago
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  2. Special Needs Curious how you've dealt with school refusal? 13yo is getting eval next month, for possible mild autism and/or LD. Starting to refuse to go to school, crying, etc. It's awful. 4 hr 12 min ago (16 replies)
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    • I have no suggestions. It was one of the most difficult periods for my ds and family. We never really found resolution. 4 hr 11 min ago
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      • I hope things are better now 4 hr 10 min ago
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        • Thank you! He is a wonderful human being! 4 hr 7 min ago
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    • We never got to that point, but DS was in an outpatient program and there were a bunch of kids there with school refusal 4 hr 10 min ago
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    • My dad says he had school refusal at 13, and mental health episodes at 6 year intervals from then, ending around age 30 and has been fine since. 4 hr 9 min ago
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      • Depression? Anxiety? 4 hr 6 min ago
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        • Yes, both. What saved him was marrying a great woman. He's been so lucky in that respect. 4 hr 5 min ago
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    • dd went through it...was bad for a while, then nipped in the bud by a fantastic school aide/para. 4 hr 5 min ago
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      • in a nutshell, the solution for us (yes I know everyone is different) was to separate the problem into two problems. One where grownups take control and dc is legally bound to...(more) 4 hr 3 min ago
        attend school.
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        • 2) once dc is there, he/she has say in the day. which classes to attend, which to skip, etc. Eventually dc loses interest in having that control 4 hr 2 min ago
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          • dd would love that control but her school won't allow it. She's less than 4 months from getting out of MS. I'm focused on getting her readier for HS 3 hr 52 min ago
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          • That is brilliant. I mean, a common-sense solution but it seems astounding few people can manage that. NP 3 hr 51 min ago
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    • Two of my friends didnt do anything. The kids didnt want to go to therapy and for them, that was that. One hasnt graduated yet and that might be in doubt. One is 22 and a hs...(more) 3 hr 59 min ago
      dropout. But another tried the homeschool/therapeutic thing for a while and the kid graduated hs by the skin of her teeth. Odd because that is the most scary-acting-out of the kids but somehow agreed to keep trying different schools. For a while, at least.
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    • I think every kid/situation is different, and the age matters too. We went through it last year with dd who was 8 at the time, and it was absolutely awful and heartbreaking, so I...(more) 3 hr 49 min ago
      feel for you. The thing that ultimately helped for us was medication for anxiety, zoloft. It seems to have taken the intensity out of the fear and panic about school. When we were in the midst of it, not giving in and letting her stay home was important. As much as she wanted to hide away, I think it was important to know that we were firm and going to keep her on track and at school. THe few times that she did stay home, we didn't do TV, we had her read and try to fill her time. Again, it seems harsh, but we really had to set firm boundaries and let her know that school is not optional. We also met extensively with the school to figure out what was wrong and if we could put some things in place to make it better.
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      • I let her stay home today but have allowed no screens. She was sobbing and so anxious -- I didn't feel I could force her to school in that state. I am all for meds but dh isn't. 3 hr 39 min ago
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        • I'm so sorry, I know exactly how that feels. The worst feeling as a parent, and I've been through a lot with two ADHD kids. 3 hr 25 min ago
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  3. Special Needs If you have tried biomedical treatments for adhd or autism, has anything been helpful? 2-18-2020 8:19pm (8 replies)
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    • We have been doing fiber and fish oil for ASD and I do think it helps but who knows. 2-18-2020 8:21pm
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      • Is that part of the nemecheck protocol? 2-18-2020 8:22pm
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        • Yes but I am not really modifying his diet at all (not avoiding the banned oils really). 2-18-2020 8:23pm
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          • Gotcha. Thanks. Do you give the olive oil? 2-18-2020 8:24pm
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      • we give autistic ds acacia fiber but only because he also has IBS. Helps the IBS. 2-18-2020 8:31pm
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    • None work. 2-18-2020 8:30pm
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      • Biomedical treatment for autism--how about Abilify or Risperdal? Those are biomedicals right? 2-19-2020 11:06pm
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  4. Special Needs Has anyone had their kid move from a straight ADHD dx to autism dx? Did having a new dx help you better target meds and therapies? 2-12-2020 9:39am (9 replies)
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    • Meds don’t help Autism 2-12-2020 9:42am
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      • Hmmm. I don't think that's true. 2-12-2020 9:44am
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      • Different meds help autism, such as Abilify, Risperidone 2-12-2020 12:59pm
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    • My son's epilepsy neurologist wouldn't call him autistic but he moved away and the new one called him autistic because I wanted ABA therapy which we're getting. 2-12-2020 9:42am
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    • Yes. The ADHD was a mis-diagnosis. 2-12-2020 1:10pm
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    • Stimulants make my kid manic. Risperadone completely pulls him together. That's part of how we started realizing it was autism, not ADHD. 2-12-2020 4:07pm
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      • op: this is us. I think I know what to expect from this new neuropsych, then. 2-16-2020 12:14pm
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    • Yes, original dx was severe ADHD and anxiety to Autism. It might have helped for school placement when dc was younger. 2-14-2020 3:31pm
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      • op: Yup, sounds like my dc. Will be curious to see if dx actually changes. 2-16-2020 12:15pm
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  5. Special Needs Can anyone recommend a lab or clinic that can do a blood draw for a nine-year-old with autism in New York City?...(more) 2-6-2020 5:50pm (2 replies)
    Can anyone recommend a lab or clinic that can do a blood draw for a nine-year-old with autism in New York City?
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    • Quest diagnostics 2-6-2020 5:53pm
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    • do you have therapists? they should be able to rec a place 2-6-2020 5:54pm
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  6. Special Needs Our dc goes to a SN school. DC can not tolerate birthday parties well due to autism and we have found through butter experience...(more) 2-3-2020 9:59pm (26 replies)
    that a party with more than 8 kids in it will cause DC to have a meltdown. DC is getting to an age where you wouldn’t assume you are expected to invite all the kids in their class. DC’s party is coming up and we explained the situation to the teachers in the class and decided we could only invite a few kids from DC’s class. Teachers said it was fine. Then out of the blue I got an email from a parent whose kid wasn’t invited, asking why. I explained that DC cannot invite all the kids in class due to DC’s disability. This is just a difficult situation overall—DC didn’t even have any birthday parties until age 8, and we decline almost all party invites because we don’t want to ruin another kid’s party with a meltdown. I am not sure how I feel though about how to deal with the parents and kids who were not invited. We asked DC not to discuss the party in class. If we invited everyone we literally would not be able to have any party at a
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    • I'm surprised someone asked why they weren't invited 2-3-2020 10:00pm
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    • Bitter experience! Not butter!...(more) 2-3-2020 10:01pm
      Anyway is it weird that another parent feels entitled to an explanation of why they weren’t invited to a party? I hate hurting anyone’s feelings but this is a choice between some kids attending or not having any party at all.
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      • Meanwhile too, I mean the ice caps are melting and our country is becoming a dictatorship...(more) 2-3-2020 10:01pm
        What parent has time to think about this level of nonsense
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        • idiot parents. they are everywhere. I am sorry you have to deal with it. lame. 2-3-2020 10:04pm
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    • They were out of line to email you about it. 2-3-2020 10:02pm
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      • I know someone who does this, she has no boundaries. The less said the better and if she comes back with another question or response just ignore. 2-3-2020 10:03pm
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        • np-My dc goes to SN school and as odd as this sounds a lout of the parents are really awkward about boundaries and over all social issues. 2-3-2020 10:05pm
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      • i agree. 2-3-2020 10:04pm
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    • How many kids in the class and how many did you invite. 2-3-2020 10:02pm
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      • I can’t give exact numbers here but about 50% of kids were invited. 2-3-2020 10:03pm
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        • Less than or more than 50% 2-3-2020 10:04pm
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        • Not saying this person had a right to call but ithi k if you are inviting 50% of a small class it leaving room for hurt feelings. If you invite 2 or 3 ok but half is difficult 2-3-2020 10:05pm
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          • Well, if we invited all then DC would not be able to have a party at all. 2-3-2020 11:04pm
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            • I didn’t suggest you invite all. But inviting half the kids makes if upsetting for the kids not invited. You can’t keep that quiet. So if you can only invite half then maybe you...(more) 2-4-2020 12:10am
              Should just invite 3 or 4 Keep it small
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            • Maybe you shouldn't have had a party if you were goign to be so insensitive to invite 50% of the class. You screwed up here and you look like the jerk. 2-4-2020 11:01pm
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              • If you think accommodating my child's disability makes me a jerk, you have a long way to go in understanding autism. 2-5-2020 8:08am
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    • but if your dc goes to sn school then their dc is sn.i would expect them to understand but possibly not the dc. you sure you can talk to parent about maybe dc coming just for...(more) 2-3-2020 10:03pm
      cake?
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      • Right? That parent is bizarre. 2-3-2020 10:06pm
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      • np - or given that it's a SN school that parent's dc could believe he and op's ds were best friends and the parents wanted to know the deal. 2-3-2020 10:27pm
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        • Np. I totally get this but i would never call a parent on it 2-3-2020 10:29pm
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    • She probably heard about the party from other parents and thought she was the only one not invited since generally the whole class gets invited especially in an SN school....(more) 2-3-2020 10:28pm
      It can be hard for SN parents because we don’t get a lot of invitations. Hopefully, once you explained it to her she understood.
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    • I'm sorry, but your kid has ASD and you didn't invte all of the kids ? I wouldn't be surprised if your child is now excluded from parites, so congrats I guess? 2-4-2020 11:00pm
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      • Did you read my original post? Inviting all the kids means DC will not be able to have a birthday party. It's simple math....(more) 2-5-2020 8:07am
        The kid cannot have a party with more than 8 kids. Presume the class has 8 or 12. Kid has other friends outside school. This means the kid has to not invite other friends because, again, there is a maximum of 8 kids who can attend this party, meaning other friends from outside school are now excluded. Simple math. Some kids in school have had multiple play dates with the kid, others never have. Some of the kids in this class have had birthday parties and not invited this kid anyway. Why is it assumed you need to invite every kid in the class, including ones who never invite you to their parties already?
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        • ANyway, I explained the situation to the other parent and she was very understanding. 2-5-2020 8:09am
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  7. Special Needs Anyone here found out dc was on the autism spectrum in MS or HS? I'd like to hear about your experience. 1-28-2020 4:49pm (8 replies)
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    • Me! DS was diagnosed in 8th grade. he had many subordinate diagnoses before that but they weren't rolled up into autism until all the wheels fell off and he wound up in an...(more) 1-28-2020 4:51pm
      intensive outpatient program in NYC. They recognized it as autism immediately.
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      • Np: who was misdiagnosing (or underdiagnosing) all that time? 1-28-2020 4:56pm
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        • school AND private testing. The head clinician of his treatment program said that it was an inexcusable error. I spent so much money on evals over the year. 1-28-2020 4:57pm
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          • I’ll say it is. Any talk of a refund for that useless testing? 1-28-2020 5:00pm
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      • what were the earlier diagnoses? 1-28-2020 5:00pm
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    • How does this happen, honestly? 1-28-2020 5:18pm
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      • My 13yo has been challenging and oppositional but always was fine with school and friends. Suddenly this school year, she's battling teachers, refusing to do certain work, and...(more) 1-28-2020 5:22pm
        other things. It's been a shock. A friend told me about his dd who was diagnosed on the spectrum and it sounded very similar.
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        • ^^we don't have a diagnosis yet, this possibility came up today. We'd seen a couple therapists earlier and they were like "yeah, could be something, probably not worth doing a...(more) 1-28-2020 5:23pm
          full assessment if she's doing well in school and socially
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  8. Special Needs After talking with a friend whose dd has autism I think that my 13yo has it. So many things add up. Who should I look for to do an assessment? How much should I expect to pay?...(more) 1-28-2020 3:48pm (12 replies)
    She's suddently struggling in school a lot this year, has a history of anxiety and phobias. Just seems trapped in certain thinking patterns.
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    • I will never get people who are discovering their kid has autism in their teens but that hasn't been my road. 1-28-2020 3:51pm
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      • me either. My kid was quirky since about 6 months 1-28-2020 5:25pm
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        • OP: My 13yo has been challenging and oppositional but always was fine with school and friends. Suddenly this school year, she's battling teachers, refusing to do certain work,...(more) 1-28-2020 5:28pm
          and we don't have a diagnosis yet, this possibility came up today. We'd seen a couple therapists earlier and they were like "yeah, could be something, probably not worth doing a full assessment if she's doing well in school and socially"
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          • the therapists are prob right. Unless you have amoney to burn. 1-28-2020 5:32pm
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            • --I think her symptoms would be treated the same way by therapists, no matter what her diagnosis 1-28-2020 5:33pm
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              • OP: which is fine, I just really want to know what's going on. The way her brain works makes no sense to me. 1-28-2020 5:39pm
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      • NT kids in dysfunctional families 1-29-2020 6:34am
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      • It happened to us. Therapists, public school, psychiatrists, multiple neuropsychs. Dc is high functioning and very anxious. He was diagnosed by an austim expert at severe ADHD...(more) 1-31-2020 11:01am
        and anxiety. I too wish i had the dx earlier.
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    • This post has been deleted. 1-28-2020 3:53pm
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    • Neuropsychologist. $5-7k. 1-28-2020 5:19pm
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      • See if you can be part of the Healthy Brain Network study at Child Mind Institute...(more) 1-29-2020 6:20am
        You will get a FREE neuropsych including the ADOS which is the gold standard test for ASD. Note, girls on the spectrum look different from boys. Sometimes they can mask their autism better and their obsessions can look like an obsession with fashion, animals, pop singers, arts and crafts, manga, and even an obsession with a friend. As opposed to boys who have more stereotypical obsessions like Thomas the Tank engine, subways, dinosaurs etc. MANY girls get diagnosed later.
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    • I don’t know if yours can is mildly on the spectrum or not but it sounds like a neuropsych evaluation would be really informative. It costs several thousand dollars though. 1-29-2020 6:53am
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  9. Special Needs School question...(more) 1-21-2020 4:14pm (8 replies)
    Where would you send a kid (current third grade) with autism and a specific LD in reading comp (also verbal / aural comp)? Socially pretty high functioning but not quite (like he...(more) 28 sec ago (1 reply) * is fully verbal and no stimming, just mostly wants to talk about birthdays and doesn’t understand jokes)
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    • Summit, Gillen Brewer 1-21-2020 4:15pm
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    • what is not working right now, what placement? 1-21-2020 4:17pm
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      • He is in an ASD Nest program and I think his LD is making it impossible for him to learn. They are doing SETTS and stuff but I fear it is not enough. 1-21-2020 4:21pm
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        • why not an LD school? 1-21-2020 4:28pm
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          • He was a regular gen es kid in our neighborhood school that has NEST and they put him in NEST. They think they can manage his LD. I am not sure. Hence my question. 1-21-2020 4:31pm
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    • a friend sent her ASD kit to Mary McGregor. Did I spell that right? he had a very good experience there and is now at Rutgers. 1-21-2020 4:17pm
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      • Did you mean mary mcdowell? 1-21-2020 4:22pm
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        • that's it! Thanks. 1-21-2020 4:23pm
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  10. Special Needs Somebody on one of my other SN groups asked for the best way to teach her multiple small kids about gun safety, including her autistic child who was freaked out upon realizing his...(more) 1-17-2020 6:51am (10 replies)
    (non-law enforcement, non-military) dad was routinely concealed carrying. Are there really places I no the U.S. where walking around armed among small children (including with SN) is considered at all wise or normal? I don’t mean safely stored for hunting trips or the target range, but actually walking around with a loaded weapon on your person.
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    • Not sure I understand this. 1-17-2020 6:53am
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      • Dad is spending time with the kids armed, ASD child is freaked out by it. Got flamed for asking why he was carrying a loaded gun around the kids as concealed carry in the first...(more) 1-17-2020 6:55am
        place. Wondering if anyone else thought it was normal/reasonable to do that.
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    • there are some really weird, paranoid, gun crazy people in this country. more than i'd like to even think about. i'm sure this is one of those people. 1-17-2020 6:57am
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      • She said he went with a loaded gun because he was afraid security at the hospital where he worked wouldn’t protect him from drug-seekers. Or something like that. 1-17-2020 7:14am
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        • ok, but even police officers unload their guns and store them safely BEFORE they get home to their small children. 1-17-2020 7:26am
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      • I met people like that in Salmon, Idaho. One guy told me if he didnt have a loaded gun on him at all times, it felt like walking around with no pants on 1-19-2020 7:02pm
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    • Yes in other states it’s common to carry a gun. Like South Carolina 1-17-2020 7:18am
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    • You would be shocked at how many people at the mall, movies, grocery store, church are armed 1-17-2020 7:21am
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      • In NYC? Doubt it, nobody has room for a gun safe in apartments. 1-17-2020 7:28am
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    • This is totally screwed up. So dangerous. I wouldn't let my dc ear him. My ASD ds hates weapons, violence, etc. 1-17-2020 7:29am
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  11. Special Needs Looking for experience with risperidone (risperdal?) vs abilify. DC has been on abilify and we aren't getting great results. Dr now saying we should try risperidone instead. DX so...(more) 1-11-2020 12:37pm (8 replies)
    far is ADHD/GAD but this sure makes it sound like we are heading to an autism or mood disorder dx. Terrible responses to all stimulants we've tried, and no help from the non-stimulant ADHD meds either. This all feel overwhelming. :(
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    • Dc with same dx as yours and he has been on risperdone s for 11 years and very successfully. Just because a med successfully treats symptoms doesn’t mean your child has the...(more) 1-11-2020 12:40pm
      disorder that it is often used for The big negative is the weight gain which was an issue for my dc when he first started At one point due to weight gain we tried switching over to abilify and it did not help my dc at all, so we went back
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      • Thank you so much; this is great to hear. He's gained a good bit since starting abilify two months ago, but was underweight to start with. We will have to figure out how to deal...(more) 1-11-2020 12:43pm
        with that if risperidone works.
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        • It’s honestly been a miracle drug for my dc with this profile. He’s been on and off stimulants in addition to risperdone, but the risperdone has been the only thing that has...(more) 1-11-2020 12:46pm
          consistently helped him My dc was 9 when he started on it and same thing, he was underweight Now he’s 21 and he is overweight but the weight gain was immediate and it’s hard to know wether puberty and poor eating has it contributed to it My guess is they did
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    • Just that both are huge weight gainers. Ds maxed out on risleridone in under a year. Abilify was better for years 1-11-2020 12:42pm
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    • It sounds like he has been on it for 2 mos. is that enough time to see whether it’s going to help? Just putting it out there. Sometimes waiting can feel like you’re just treading...(more) 1-11-2020 12:50pm
      water. My teen started a very small dose of Risperdal during the summer. She was having obsessive thoughts and we weren’t sure if she was having psychosis. The psych pushed to increase Risperdal but I resisted because I wanted to see if the thoughts really were psychotic. Now we believe they were not, and she is coming off Risperdal now. She’s on other meds that are working. Know that there is a risk of boys developing breasts on Risperdal. Something to discuss w/Dr.
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    • We have been on both for ASD and anxiety. Abilify has fewer side effects for my ds, though he's gained a ton of weight on it. Risperidone was a bit more effective for his...(more) 1-11-2020 10:46pm
      impulsivity and aggression, but the side effects were awful (exhaustion, even more weight gain, man boobs, etc). It's worth a try, though. We wouldn't be on either Abilify or Risperidone were it not for ASD, though. I'm curious as to why an ADHD kid would need it.
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    • ds was on risperidone and grew breasts. off it for many years and at a healthy weight but still has breasts. 1-12-2020 8:12pm
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      • Thanks for sharing. Did you stop the med as soon as you saw the side effect or did you have to continue for a while? 1-13-2020 1:02pm
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  12. Special Needs My 16 yo ds was born early and had intensive early intervention from age 1-5 (PT, OT, ST, feeding therapy, play therapy). He has made huge strides and is fully...(more) 1-10-2020 8:40am (22 replies)
    mainstreamed and a straight A student. His diagnosis is ADHD and anxiety and he sees a therapist and takes medication weekly. My ex, who suffers from anxiety, keeps bombarding me with articles about autism and the important of getting a diagnosis. Our son has been evaluated by mutliple specialists over the years and, although ADHD is a spectrum disorder, no one thinks he is autistic. My ex is now upset with me because I don't take his concerns seriously. I just don't know what to do. And I am frustrated that he isn't listening to what the specialists are saying.
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    • what is he proposing? go talk to the specialist together so you can all voice this in one room and agre and then move on 1-10-2020 8:43am
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      • I asked him this directly and am waiting to hear. He is always invited and encouraged to engage with ds' therapist but he doesn't. 1-10-2020 8:46am
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        • Then ask for a written diagnosis with autism ruled out 1-10-2020 8:46am
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          • Good idea. maybe something literal will be helpful to ex, who is very literal. 1-10-2020 8:48am
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      • Agree and wonder why this was not done, years ago 1-10-2020 8:46am
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        • It was done years ago and he came! The neuropsychologist ruled it out and none of the the subsequent specialists/therapists have thought ds was autistic! 1-10-2020 8:47am
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          • I’d ask for written diagnoses and always with autism ruled out because of DHs fears 1-10-2020 9:50am
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            • Good idea. TY. 1-10-2020 9:53am
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    • I'd focus less on the specific diagnosis and more on the functional skills that are weak and need intervention. Does he need services that address social skills? Does he need more...(more) 1-10-2020 8:43am
      help with cognitive flexibility?
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      • Yes and yes, and that's why we do therapy and I forgot to add that ds is also working with an executive function coach. We did look at social skills groups previously but he is...(more) 1-10-2020 8:45am
        too high functioning for them. He has a couple of friends and I try to engage him with volunteer work so that he connects with others that way.
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        • You have a complex kid because of his prematurity and likely some genetics 1-10-2020 8:56am
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          • Yes, and he's made tremendous progress and continues to do so. His path won't be clearcut -- but that's OK. Most people don't have clearcut paths. 1-10-2020 8:57am
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            • Good attitude. His dad is anxious and fixates on diagnosis as a way to understand his complicated kid and his needs. 1-10-2020 8:58am
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              • this is what I think -- but it complicates our divorce. Ex is furious with me about this. He just stopped by to drop something off for the kids, and I tried to ask him what he...(more) 1-10-2020 9:00am
                wanted be to do and to allay his concerns. Turns out he wants me to do all the work (as usual) and then can't specify what he wants me to do, and then rolls his eyes and gets angry when I ask him not to do that.
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                • Then I would try to disengage- this conflict about kid may have more to do with the divorce and conflict with you. Try to disengage from the conversation and if he wont let up,...(more) 1-10-2020 9:03am
                  say "Mark, he's your son as well. You can look into evaluating him further if you wish".
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                  • I hate that -- because the kids can pick up on it. I think you're right, though. He refuses to help transport them unless it's his weekend because, in his words, he doesn't want...(more) 1-10-2020 9:05am
                    to do anything to help me.
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                • that is very difficult. that is your dh's anxiety 1-10-2020 9:05am
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                  • Your husband is literal minded and anxious. Is it possible that HE’S the one on the spectrum? 1-10-2020 6:20pm
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                    • Sorry I meant to write ex 1-10-2020 6:21pm
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                      • Yes, this is what I think. After I posted this, I saw my therapist who has met him, and that's what she basically suggested. 1-12-2020 8:33am
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    • Good for you for being reasonable. You are a good mom. 1-12-2020 8:42am
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  13. Special Needs Any chance there is a real-life handbook for parenting a kid with autism? Maybe one specifically re: nyc schools? Signed, my kid was diagnosed at 8 yrs old and I am late to the...(more) 1-9-2020 4:27pm (11 replies)
    party and LOST!
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    • See if you can find a support group 1-9-2020 4:32pm
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    • The options in NYC are limited, honestly. I would consider moving to the suburbs if you can, and if your son is at all on par academicallyl. 1-9-2020 5:57pm
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      • Omg why do you always give this weird vague suggestion? What burb and why? Nyc has so many more resources! 1-9-2020 6:06pm
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        • or: Why are you mad? NYC is tough for many ASD kids. There are better options for many, if you look outside of NYC. 1-9-2020 7:03pm
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          • Because you are so vague. 1-9-2020 9:04pm
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      • I think this is true for some kids, not for others. 1-9-2020 6:51pm
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        • or: Of course. I guess I should have said "for some kids". Geez, the defensivness on here is something to behold. (Not you, other responder). 1-9-2020 7:04pm
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          • There are plenty of actual books. I suggest making sure you look at things written by...(more) 1-9-2020 9:23pm
            Actually autistic people. Things like Look Me in The Eye (book) and Neurotribes and The Reason I Jump. Also the Facebook group Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism and Autistic Allies. All of these will help you better understand what your kid’s life experience is. Also I have heard Aspergers Experts is good. Anyway welcome to the club! Your kid is au-some!
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          • Regina Skyer has a book about school in NYC, it's written for parents of younger kids but still might have some good info. Also, join as many of the NYC SN Facebook groups as you...(more) 1-9-2020 10:12pm
            can, they are great, like Manhattan Special Kids, Brooklyn Special Kids
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    • My dc as dx at age 14. I understand your frustration. Apply for OPWDD. It takes time but it will ultimately provide resources and support as your dc grows 1-10-2020 6:56am
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  14. Special Needs DS12 with severe autism has never been medicated except supplements and occassional melatonin. He's stopped sleepign through the night, waking between 1 and 4 am and emaining...(more) 1-8-2020 12:21pm (19 replies)
    awake. No caffeine. Minimal sugar. What are our options?
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    • Melatonin is not helping him sleep? 1-8-2020 12:22pm
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      • It helps him fall asleep 1-8-2020 12:23pm
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        • but not to stay asleep. if anything he wakes up more without it 1-8-2020 12:23pm
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          • Sorry - he wakes up more WITH it. But sometimes he really needs it to fall asleep. 1-8-2020 12:24pm
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            • So I have noticed that when i give my DC melation too early (like 9,30pm) then he goes to bed quickly, but tends to wake early from it. Maybe push the timing a little? 1-8-2020 12:25pm
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        • Are the docs ok if you give it nightly, then? 1-8-2020 12:23pm
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    • can he remain unsupervised? can he read if he wakes up? 1-8-2020 12:22pm
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      • Um, "sever autism" per op 1-8-2020 12:22pm
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        • Just asking questions. 1-8-2020 12:23pm
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          • I guess you didnt mean it, but come on, I feel so much for this OP right now, your question is like rubbing salt on a very sore wound 1-8-2020 12:24pm
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            • wtf? I didn't ask anything controversial. 1-8-2020 12:25pm
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              • OP: Im not upset - if anyone gives their kid an RX thats tronger I'd just like some feedback. Dr. Goodle has everything from Remeron to risperidone... 1-8-2020 12:26pm
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              • Instead of any self reflection you are arguing back? For chris sake the poor child has severe autism. Please use your brain about whether this child is able to read or not. 1-8-2020 12:27pm
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                • Hey, I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I simply asked 2 questions. My ds can read and loves books. We all take from our own experience. Hope your day goes better! 1-8-2020 12:30pm
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                  • I mean you're the one who said "wtf" not me 1-8-2020 12:31pm
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                    • Wtf is in response to your very assuming post. 1-8-2020 12:33pm
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                • Np: severe autism doesn’t prevent reading. That’s severe Intellectual disability. 1-8-2020 6:08pm
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      • No - he gets into things, he's looud, and he wakes us all up. 1-8-2020 12:24pm
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    • Obviously speak with your specialist or a sleep specialist. I know families who have had a positive experience with clonidine. 1-8-2020 12:32pm
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  15. Special Needs If you could pick any school in nyc — public of private, funded or not — for a kid whose autism was not diagnosed until age 8, what would you pick? He gets along ok at school,...(more) 1-7-2020 12:21pm (23 replies)
    but struggles with irritability and uncooperativeness. Academically, he is behind in reading comprehension mostly because of social pragmatic issues (he doesn’t get the jokes or why something would be funny or why a character did something). He needs close help from a teacher or para and a lot of encouragement and patience. He does well in math and has a great memory. He is kind of difficult. He likes playing and being social but is pretty one-sided in his conversations. I just want to find a really good fit for him.
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    • gaynor or gateway 1-7-2020 12:21pm
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      • I heard gateway is not great with social emotional support. I have not heard of gaynor, will look it up. 1-7-2020 12:25pm
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        • west 89 st. GL 1-7-2020 12:26pm
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          • Thanks. Logistical nightmare for us but if it is the right spot I will make it work. 1-7-2020 12:30pm
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      • disagree on Gaynor; no experience with gateway 1-7-2020 9:31pm
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    • Not sure I think Gaynor would be a great fit. They are mainly language based LDs and they don’t tolerate behavioral issues. I mean, feel free to check but just wanted to add that...(more) 1-7-2020 1:22pm
      Feedback.
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      • I appreciate that. Any thoughts on the ASD Nest Program? 1-7-2020 1:29pm
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      • Gaynor will not accept kids with an Autism classification on the IEP. Some kids can get away from a speech/language classification. Your neuro should know. Something to...(more) 1-7-2020 1:44pm
        think about.
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    • honestly for this type of kid, I would look to the suburbs 1-7-2020 1:51pm
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      • I’d rather not uproot everyone. Which suburb? Which school? Why? 1-7-2020 2:07pm
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    • Winston 1-7-2020 2:04pm
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      • Very interested in winston. Worried about cost. 1-7-2020 2:11pm
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        • They offer financial aid. Plus if you can lay out the money you and sure. Its carter funded. Dc is a graduate and we loved ot 1-7-2020 3:11pm
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          • They laying out the money is the hard part. It is $70k! 1-7-2020 3:47pm
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            • See if you qualify for FA. They offer it and a lot of the sn private’s dont 1-7-2020 3:56pm
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    • Winston, but with behaviors, he might not be able to make it for the long haul. This seems like a good kid for Westchester suburbs. Armonk or Mamaroneck. 1-7-2020 4:16pm
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    • How old? Sounds like he could be a good candidate for the ASD NEST program in public schools. The Neighborhood Charter School in Harlem also has a dedicated ASD inclusion...(more) 1-7-2020 4:32pm
      program. Where are you? In Brooklyn (D15) the Children's School is a fully inclusive school that has a good teacher/student ratio and lots of experience with different kinds of SN (I have a kid there but not ASD, but there are kids on the spectrum there). This is all if elementary.
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      • This. You e described my ASD 9 year old who is thriving in an ASS Nest school 1-7-2020 9:21pm
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        • ^clearly I shouldn’t post from my phone. ASD Nest of course. 1-7-2020 9:22pm
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    • Have you looked at Mary McDowell? It’s also in Brooklyn 1-7-2020 9:33pm
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    • He needs pragmatics support. We are super happy with bay Ridge Prep...Lots of focus on prosocial environment and run by psychologists. I'd visit and share what you did here. they...(more) 1-8-2020 8:53am
      will meet your kid and give you honest feedback about fit. GL:)
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    • Summit 1-10-2020 10:52am
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  16. Special Needs My 9 yo ds is on Seroquel for autism-associated irritability/agression, seems to have made things worse. Anyone else with same experience? 12-27-2019 2:58pm (3 replies)
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    • We did Risperdal and switched to Abilify due to her falling asleep at school. Did you already try those?...(more) 12-27-2019 4:23pm
      It seems seroquel isn’t on the first line of therapy for ASD...is this the first Med he’s on? I believe if Abilify doesn’t work, people try other antipsychotics but I’ve also read of people who eventually try something totally different like Lithium, NAC, or CBD oil.
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      • We have already tried Abilify, Risperdal, Trileptal, Depakote.... 12-28-2019 9:24am
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    • Seroquel sometimes made dc sedated, other times loopy and most of the time did nothing. dosage 25 to 800 mg. 1-4-2020 12:13am
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  17. Special Needs Anyone have experience with Happy Hour 4 Kids 2.0?...(more) 12-22-2019 5:49pm (0 replies)
    We're looking for somewhere to send our autistic four-year-old -- we met with Happy Hour 4 Kids, who have an appealing pitch -- does anyone have any experience with them, especially in their new incarnation, where they're headed by Joel Maute and Jonathan Trichter?
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  18. Special Needs We got an asd diagnosis a year ago......(more) 12-5-2019 1:24pm (14 replies)
    Two day’s ago the neuropsych told me that he does not have autism... has anyone experienced this?
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    • How old is your ds? 12-5-2019 1:29pm
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      • ^same doctor? 12-5-2019 1:29pm
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        • No, not same doctor. we will circle back with that pediatrician too.He just turned 4. 12-5-2019 1:31pm
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          • Diagnoses are pretty unstable at that age. You should be glad! 12-5-2019 1:37pm
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            • I’m so glad, but I’ve believed one thing for a year & the stress & weight of it on our family and now I’m just surprised to potentially be looking at a different diagnosis 12-5-2019 1:45pm
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    • My DD "lost" her diagnosis at a certain point. I wasn't surprised, because, even though she presented with many ASD characteristics, I was told from the beginning that the dx...(more) 12-5-2019 1:31pm
      didn't really fit her well, but that it was obvious she needed services, so she got the dx. I think that's often the case.
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    • Not personally, but my cousins dd was diagnosed with autism as a toddler but when she turned 7 they told her she does not have it. I found that strange but make sure the 2nd one...(more) 12-5-2019 1:35pm
      is correct. I think I heard somewhere that after a certain age(7?) you can't receive services unless you were diagnosed before. I could be wrong but autism isn't my ball in this sn game.
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      • It’s so weird because they say this is a lifelong condition and I was worried whether he’d ever be independent but now I’m like what does this mean now? Very strange. 12-5-2019 1:41pm
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        • This post has been deleted. 12-5-2019 1:47pm
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          • Yes for certain! I just didn’t know what degree it was because he never had the neuro eval and I knew the deficits in some ways seemed more obvious the older he got 12-5-2019 1:52pm
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        • np: it could be just a misdiagnosis initially. Or the NP could also be wrong. I know people who were told their child wasn't ASD only to find out years later that they are. 12-5-2019 5:08pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 12-5-2019 1:36pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 12-5-2019 5:07pm
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    • We had a dev. ped takes the dx away and I was so happy. She was wrong to take it away. My ds is clearly ASD. It's very subjective, though. Is your kid really different than a year...(more) 12-5-2019 8:25pm
      ago?
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  19. Special Needs Recommendations for psychologist for teen with high functioning autism and potential PTSD...(more) 11-19-2019 2:26pm (2 replies)
    I am looking for a psychologist for my 17 year old son who has high functioning autism and OCD. He generally needs help these days navigating the difficulties of being a teen (dating, independence) and transitioning to college. But he was also recently hit by a car when crossing the street, had to undergo surgeries and is very scared of going outside, whether it is PTSD or not I am looking for someone who can also help him deal with this.
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    • oh I'm sorry he is going through that. I have the impression that Emma Rhoads is good with people who need help getting out there 11-19-2019 2:28pm
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    • Link inside...Spectrum Services has a number of good therapists in various locations....(more) 11-19-2019 6:08pm
  20. Special Needs Psychologist for teen with high functioning autism and potential PTSD...(more) 11-17-2019 10:44am (3 replies)
    I am looking for a psychologist for my 17 year old son who has high functioning autism and OCD. He generally needs help these days navigating the difficulties of being a teen (dating, independence) and transitioning to college. But he was also recently hit by a car when crossing the street, had to undergo surgeries and is very scared of going outside, whether it is PTSD or not I am looking for someone who can also help him deal with this.
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    • Please get referrals from his current providers. 11-17-2019 10:46am
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    • And all of this is understandable, he can be spoken to about these issues 11-17-2019 10:47am
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    • This is a great resource for kids and adults on the spectrum. Lots of therapists. GL....(more) 11-17-2019 8:34pm
  21. Special Needs This may sound weird but my ds is nonverbal and severely impacted by has autism and needs a lot of help. I feel this pure love for him and protectiveness like with a baby. He is...(more) 11-11-2019 7:30am (4 replies)
    14 and I still wamt
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    • want cuddle him like a baby. Anyone else? 11-11-2019 7:31am
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    • Not weird at all! 11-11-2019 7:35am
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    • Not at all. My DS is 13 yos, doing well, but I’m definitely more protective of him than my other DC. 11-11-2019 7:38am
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  22. Special Needs WWYD? I have 8yo on spectrum. We haven't disclosed her dx to her yet. Yesterday at school a kid comes up to her and says, "My mom told me you have autism." The mom is a teacher...(more) 11-6-2019 2:20pm (113 replies)
    at the school and I really think had no business discussing this private information with her child.
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    • Why are you not telling her? 11-6-2019 2:21pm
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      • op - at this time we don't feel a need. She's borderline, very mild and thriving in an ICT class. We're honest with her in age-appropriate ways about different therapies she's...(more) 11-6-2019 2:24pm
        received. But there's a lot that she's too young to wrap her head around too
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        • What ever works I guess. 11-6-2019 2:25pm
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        • Therapists have wonderful ways of explaining in age appropriate language what their differences are. Now it seems like its a bad thing to have autism. 11-6-2019 2:26pm
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          • This. 11-6-2019 2:26pm
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          • op - thanks. I'm not a moron. We've had wonderful therapists working with our family for years. 11-6-2019 2:28pm
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            • So a team of therapists thought it better to hide your dd dx? 11-6-2019 5:38pm
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        • This is about you, OP, and not about what's best for your daughter. You don't like that she has autism and you don't want her to feel as bad about it as you do. 11-6-2019 9:02pm
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        • No way. DS knew as soon as we did, barely 7, and was so relieved to have an explanation for his struggles and a word for what was going on. It opened up a lot of resources that...(more) 11-6-2019 9:28pm
          helped him build coping strategies. Don’t hide it, they Layla tends to give them a sense of stigma about the dx.
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    • This post has been disliked 3 times. showI would call the principal and superintendent and get that teacher fired. I'm sorry, that's beyond... BEYOND. I can't even. 11-6-2019 2:21pm
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      • ITDA. It is more likely that her child asked why OP's dd acts a certain way, so the mom explained the autistic spectrum. I have explained this to my kids. 11-6-2019 2:24pm
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        • np: this a hundred times over, the mom mis trying to educate her child and had no idea that the parent didn't tell their child. 11-6-2019 2:25pm
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        • Right- My dd has talked negatively about a ds in her classes. I explained why he is the way he is. Now she is more empathetic. 11-6-2019 2:27pm
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          • Np: ita, my dc totally "gets" kids being on the spectrum, it's spoken about openly so it is viewed as a pretty normal occurrence 11-6-2019 9:06pm
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        • You don’t get to label someone else’s child 11-6-2019 11:13pm
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          • It's a Dx not a label, JFC 11-7-2019 12:12am
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      • its literally against HIPPA for her to disclose this, she can be fired 11-6-2019 2:25pm
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        • ok so get the poor woman fired for educating her dd 11-6-2019 2:26pm
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          • for breaking the law yes 11-6-2019 2:26pm
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            • It depends on how the woman knows. Is it obvious that your dd is on the spectrum- from her behavior? 11-6-2019 2:27pm
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              • im not OP but no doesnt depend 11-6-2019 2:28pm
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              • The law does not depend whether or not it’s obvious. Wtf 11-6-2019 11:15pm
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          • How is she educating her??? 11-6-2019 10:58pm
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        • Was this a teacher who has access the the dd records? If just an observance not a HIPAA violation....(more) 11-7-2019 12:15am
          Seriously all of this cray cray because mom wasn't honest with her child? As if the dd had no clue.
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          • YOU ARE THE VOICE OF REASON. This mother has no clue how the teacher knows. She's assuming the teacher read the file. We have NO clue how she knows. 11-7-2019 11:45am
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      • Agree 100% 11-6-2019 2:32pm
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      • I would complain to principal too. I would be livid. I wouldnt demand that she be fired, but i would want her confronted about this, professionally. She should NOT be discussing...(more) 11-6-2019 2:33pm
        diagnoses of students with her kids. I have an 8 yr old and I would have told her, "everyone is different" and left it at that. Im so sorry that you and your child are in this position now.
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    • She absolutely did not and you have every right to be PISSED and CONFRONT. 11-6-2019 2:22pm
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      • ^^ and Id make sure the principal knows. 11-6-2019 2:22pm
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      • she might be explaining a behavior to her child, informing them 11-6-2019 2:22pm
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        • op - my kid doesn't have behaviors. But even if she did, I think there are hundreds of ways to answer innocent questions in a more appropriate and sensitive way 11-6-2019 2:26pm
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          • idk why youre posting here get her fired 11-6-2019 2:26pm
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          • Sure she does--or else she would not have the dx. 11-6-2019 2:31pm
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          • then how does she have autism if she doesn't have behaviors related to autism? 11-6-2019 2:36pm
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      • np: You don't know that it is from the teacher. It could be from another parent. 11-6-2019 2:23pm
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        • she said her mom told her and that her mom is a teacher at the school... 11-6-2019 2:24pm
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          • right buh bye teacher hello ADA laws 11-6-2019 2:26pm
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            • someone would need to witness it 11-6-2019 2:40pm
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            • based on what one 8yo repeated to another. I don't think so. 11-6-2019 2:48pm
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          • Well you can't prove it. 11-6-2019 2:28pm
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    • she didn't know it was a secret, why is it a secret? 11-6-2019 2:22pm
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      • not the point. a teacher should NOT be discussing students with her child. 11-6-2019 2:23pm
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      • op - disclosure is kind of a personal thing. Parents make different choices for different reasons. Stop judging. 11-6-2019 2:24pm
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        • What’s your reason to not disclose? 11-6-2019 2:26pm
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          • np: she is hoping it goes away 11-6-2019 2:26pm
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            • yup. my husband was this way when son was first dx'd. 11-6-2019 5:38pm
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        • This post has been disliked 3 times. showDisclosure? What an odd word. FWIW, everyone knows. 11-6-2019 2:27pm
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          • Why the dislike? Obviously op has not come to terms with the diagnosis. 11-6-2019 2:29pm
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      • A teacher CANNOT assume something is public without confirming 11-6-2019 2:28pm
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      • It absolutely is. You can not discuss a students IEP with anyone who does not also have access to the IEP. And students don’t have access. 11-6-2019 2:34pm
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        • The teacher mom should not have had access if the child is not in her class. 11-6-2019 11:59pm
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    • Can people tell your dd is on the spectrum without knowing her diagnosis? In other words, is it kind of obvious?! 11-6-2019 2:25pm
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      • op - it's not obvious. She doesn't stim, talks in full sentences and makes eye contact. I'm not even sure the ASD diagnosis is appropriate, but helps get services in school 11-6-2019 2:27pm
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        • is autism listed on her IEP? 11-6-2019 2:28pm
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        • Did she have a full neuropsych eval? 11-6-2019 2:28pm
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        • So then what does she have a diagnosis? 11-6-2019 2:28pm
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        • So what characteristics does she have? 11-6-2019 2:30pm
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          • How many kids on the spectrum don't seem like they're on the spectrum? 11-6-2019 5:48pm
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            • Those on the border may not be clearly identifiable. 11-7-2019 12:00am
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              • The mother says she shows no signs of ASD. 11-7-2019 10:08am
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    • That is confidential information and that mom/teacher should be fired and I would sue the school / district 11-6-2019 2:29pm
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      • np: how would the teacher have access, it's not like it's listed on an IEP 11-6-2019 2:31pm
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        • yes it is 11-6-2019 2:31pm
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        • Diagnosis is absolutely listed on an IEP. 11-6-2019 2:32pm
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          • Maybe it's changed, my ds was in NYC and had a classification, not a diagnosis on his IEP in an ICT class. 11-6-2019 2:33pm
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      • sue the school district? are you out of your mind? 11-6-2019 2:37pm
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    • op - why do i feel like I'm being attacked? My child's privacy was violated and that's upsetting. I thought this was a supportive group. 11-6-2019 2:31pm
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      • is the diagnosis listed on your IEP at school? 11-6-2019 2:32pm
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        • op - yes 11-6-2019 2:32pm
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          • ignore people this is a huge deal 11-6-2019 2:33pm
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          • does this teacher have access to your kid's IEP? 11-6-2019 2:38pm
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            • op - i presume so 11-6-2019 2:45pm
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              • I wouldn't presume that at all. Does your child have this woman for her teacher? 11-6-2019 2:47pm
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      • people are crazy, this needs to go to the principal ASAP and mention IDEA was violated 11-6-2019 2:32pm
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        • The Family Education Rights and Privacy Act, 1974 (FERPA) was established to protect the privacy of parents and students 11-6-2019 2:33pm
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      • Sounds like you’re new here. By 8 it’s hard to hide things from your child. 11-6-2019 2:32pm
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        • Said no parent of a socially oblivious ASD child ever. I've got a 10 year old who still believes in Santa. 11-6-2019 11:24pm
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      • This is YBM -- people like to be contrary 11-6-2019 2:33pm
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      • This post has been disliked 3 times. showBecause it sounds as if you are ashamed of the dx. I have worked with autistic kids --all levels for 25 years (I am a speech pathologist). I tell parents all the time, the dx is...(more) 11-6-2019 2:34pm
        does not change who your child is. But it helps others understand vs just thinking the kid is weird.
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        • if you are a speech pathologist you are a fucking idiot- im NOT op but this illegal 11-6-2019 2:35pm
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          • the disclosure 11-6-2019 2:35pm
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          • I am responding to ops question as to why she is being attacked. 11-6-2019 2:35pm
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        • that is not the fucking point! NP 11-6-2019 2:35pm
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        • Wow. criticizing OP? Rude to even suggest she is "ashamed" of the dx. The teacher should not be discussing another students diagnosis with her children! BOTTOM LINE! You're awful! 11-6-2019 2:38pm
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        • op - do you have any autistic children? 11-6-2019 2:38pm
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          • No, but I have one with anxiety/ADHD. We have talked openly and honestly with him since the beginning about it. 11-6-2019 2:40pm
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            • So you did what was right for your child and op is doing what she feels is right for her child. Everyone is different 11-6-2019 11:02pm
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      • YBM is a harsh place. That said you are 100% in the right. I'd be so pissed. That teacher should be fired. 11-6-2019 2:34pm
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      • i am 100% on your side. Set up a meeting with the principal now. You are completely jussified in your anger 11-6-2019 2:35pm
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      • You speak to your dc on your own timeline. 11-6-2019 2:46pm
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      • Because there are some on this board who think it's a crime not to share a dx with your child. You, and I, disagree. Stigma is real. People don't want to host the kid with autism...(more) 11-6-2019 8:33pm
        for a playdate, etc. If your kid is mainstreamed there are very good reasons not to share.
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    • This post has been disliked 3 times. showTeacher aside, it's time for a talk w/dd. She deserves to know. It's going to come up in the future because kids are going to give her feedback or notice, they are brutally...(more) 11-6-2019 2:34pm
      honest.
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      • OP said above that she isn't even sure the asd diagnosis is accurate but it helps her daughter get services... 11-6-2019 5:50pm
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        • We all know that parent who will self report symptoms to get free services. Maybe someone should report op, if her dc doesn't even need these services there's a 100 kids who do 11-6-2019 9:13pm
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          • We all know that autism is a spectrum and even if a kid falls slightly off that spectrum and is borderline for that dx they still need services. If giving that kid a dx helps her...(more) 11-6-2019 11:13pm
            Get what she needs there’s nothing wrong with it she’s clearly got enough issues to be borderline
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    • I'd start with speaking to the teacher first, at least get her side before having her fired from the principal, it's not like you were there. 11-6-2019 2:36pm
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      • nope. she'll reframe it. dont confront her personally. It will have the most impact coming from her boss. Do NOT get in a debate with her. Her intentions were likely not bad, but...(more) 11-6-2019 2:39pm
        thats NOT your problem. Her carelessness and disregard for your privacy has a cost.
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        • np: that totally sucks if she was innocently explaining a behavior to her dd 11-6-2019 2:41pm
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          • she obviously used OP's dd's name. That's terrible and unprofessional. She sucks and OP should report her. 11-6-2019 2:44pm
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            • Nothing is obvious from this post. This is one kid repeating to her mother about what another said to her about what his mom said. That's an awfully big game of telephone for 8yos 11-6-2019 2:46pm
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    • Social Worker and Mom here. What the teacher did was inexcusable. Call the principal. I am so sorry. 11-6-2019 2:37pm
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      • This is total hearsay based on something a little kid said. 11-6-2019 9:10pm
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    • Wait. How do you know th teacher disclosed anything? Maybe she just assumed based on your dd's behavior. 11-6-2019 5:49pm
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    • I really hope you're just trolling and not serious. 11-6-2019 9:18pm
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    • From your own mouth you don't even think your dd is on the spectrum. Maybe someone could report you for using free services for years that other kids actually need. 11-6-2019 9:21pm
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      • THIS 11-6-2019 10:09pm
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      • Np. You sound pretty ignorant. Kids without autism all kinds of services and whether they have a dx or not is meaning less it’s the issues that thye are working in that matter 11-6-2019 11:03pm
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        • Right. So why is this mother doesn't even believe the ASD dx is correct using it? 11-7-2019 10:07am
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      • Are you seriously envious of “free” 11-6-2019 11:33pm
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        • Services a kid on the spectrum may get? What are you afraid of , that she will 11-6-2019 11:33pm
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          • Score 20 pts higher on the sat in 8 years? You sound like a peach 11-6-2019 11:34pm
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  23. Special Needs High school sets up autistic kids to fail in college. Here's how to fix the problem....(more) 11-1-2019 12:51am (0 replies)
  24. Special Needs Am a speech pathologist working with a family who is very resistant to an ASD diagnosis. They have been told several times that their ds exhibits signs, red flags, etc. but...(more) 10-21-2019 10:07pm (30 replies)
    they either discontinue therapy or insist he just has a speech delay. I'm now working with this family and they ask me at EVERY session whether I think he has autism. If you were this parent, what would you want from me? I've dodged the question twice but I don't think it's right or ethical to continue to do so. When they ask I just tell them that right now let's focus on improving social communication, we'd be doing the same intervention regardless of the label, etc etc. but eventually I'm going to have to give them my professional opinion.
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    • How old is he? 10-21-2019 10:08pm
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      • 3.5 10-21-2019 10:09pm
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        • Why don’t you tell her to see a developmental ped? 10-21-2019 10:09pm
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          • she's resisted this referral or an autism evaluation (which our district can easily do and has asked to do) several times 10-21-2019 10:10pm
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            • That must be very hard. I’m sorry for you, the parent, and the kid. 10-21-2019 10:11pm
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              • It will ultimately be ok. They are good, responsive parents and he's getting social language intervention. He's not a candidate for ABA right now due to some other health issues,...(more) 10-21-2019 10:16pm
                so really they're doing all they can do, even if they resist the label.
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          • that's my point. she doesn't want to have him tested and wants me to reassure her, but I can't. at the same time I want to keep the relationship and dialogue open so we can...(more) 10-21-2019 10:11pm
            eventually get there.
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            • Np you definitely shouldn’t reassure her. It is in his best interest to be tested. You can tell her that. 10-21-2019 10:14pm
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              • That's something good I can say. Thank you. I've just never met a parent this rigid before. 10-21-2019 10:15pm
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    • What do you think? What are his symptoms? 10-21-2019 10:09pm
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      • very little joint attention or reciprocal play/conversational exchanges, little sense of social boundaries, flapping, sensory, tantrums 10-21-2019 10:10pm
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      • he definitely has many characteristics 10-21-2019 10:10pm
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    • Tell them he does have some red flags for it, but you aren’t qualified to diagnose by any stretch. I think it would be fine to tell them they should seek that evaluation since...(more) 10-21-2019 10:11pm
      they obviously are concerned.
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      • they're NOT concerned! that's my point! 10-21-2019 10:12pm
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        • They are or they wouldn’t be asking you about it. 10-21-2019 10:13pm
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          • they are because they want to be told he doesn't have it...if I recommend evaluation they're going to cut off this relationship too, and he won't get any services. he'll be in...(more) 10-21-2019 10:14pm
            preschool after christmas so tempted to wait and see what feedback they get from the school that will hopefully back me up
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            • Are their ethics guidelines for your profession about this? Do you really think it is making that much of a difference to have therapy with you when he has these other issues and...(more) 10-21-2019 10:17pm
              parent in denial? Honest questions, things to consider.
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              • np - dx or no the kid needs speech therapy. op's responsibility is to provide services and recommend seeking dx's that relate to symptoms she works on, nothing more. 10-21-2019 10:23pm
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        • It sounds like they are concerned, but they can’t accept it. 10-21-2019 10:13pm
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    • You tell them that in your professional opinion only someone trained to adminsiter the ADOS can make that call. 10-21-2019 10:22pm
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    • Your professional opinion isn’t valid. You aren’t a Doctor/Psychologist. I doubt you administered a GARS and so your answer is “I focus on speech” 10-21-2019 10:27pm
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    • I think you continue with the answer that an autism dx wouldn’t change the therapy you give him. This might help them accept the inevitable diagnosis. But, another tactic would be...(more) 10-21-2019 10:33pm
      Answer a question with your own question. “This is the 3rd time you’ve asked me. Is there a reason you want my opinion?”
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      • As a psychologist, my perspective on this is that people accept what is happening at their own pace. Here, the child is not in danger or neglected, and he's getting what he needs....(more) 10-22-2019 9:48am
        They will eventually be confronted by whatever it is that he needs, and they will have to add more services to help him. But in the meantime, a diagnosis doesn't really help them, and they can't handle it yet. Deflect and support them praise them for getting the help he needs right now with speech therapy. That way they have positive experiences with service providers as the move forward in this journey.
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        • In the meantime the kid's self esteem erodes. 10-22-2019 10:13am
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          • I don't think you can necessarily assume that. There are plenty of people who are not ready to accept labels but are providing the support their kid needs right now. If this was...(more) 10-22-2019 10:28am
            still going on in a year from now, I'd worry. This is a process and they may be very close to getting there- it sounds like they are to me.
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            • This post has been deleted. 10-22-2019 12:05pm
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            • A three year old likely can’t grasp the concept of an autism diagnosis so how does this affect self esteem? 10-22-2019 12:06pm
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          • Why is his self esteem being affected. He’s getting therapy 10-22-2019 8:41pm
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    • I would be blunt "frankly you should WANT this label initially to get more services and insurance cover. I see enough here to warrant - IMO - a forma eval. Nothing to be...(more) 10-22-2019 8:09pm
      afraid of" ..
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    • My best friend and her dh went through this. I knew their kid was autistic at 2yo... it was very clear without a medical background. They were in denial and I didn't push. When he...(more) 10-22-2019 8:44pm
      got to Kindergarten (public school) the school insisted on testing him. They finally got a neuropsych exam and found out. They weren't ready and you can push it if they aren't ready. My suggestion is that you tell him that if they want to know for sure, to get a neuropsych exam and trust those results. If they have already had the exam but are reluctant to accept it, tell them that they should trust the results.
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  25. Special Needs Sensitive/controversial topic, but has anyone considered teaching their autistic or otherwise Disabled teen about masturbation? 10-17-2019 2:38pm (6 replies)
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    • I've wondered about this. 10-17-2019 2:38pm
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    • how old is DS? 10-17-2019 2:40pm
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      • It's DD, actually. 13 and very hormonal. Wants to "do sex" with any and all boys. Am I naive to think she hasn't figured out masturbation already? 10-17-2019 2:51pm
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        • I have no idea 10-17-2019 2:51pm
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    • We hired someone to teach him about these things. A professional who runs clinics at YAI. 10-17-2019 8:32pm
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    • No, but I'm wondering about talking about sex to my mid-elementary ASD ds. 10-17-2019 8:40pm
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