Search Results for "autism | autistic"

  1. Special Needs Can anyone recommend a good social skills group for a 12 yo DS w/HF autism?...(more) 11-6-2022 7:47am (3 replies)
    He is struggling in a new MS with making friends. Does not know how to initiate and maintain conversations. TIA!
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  2. Special Needs Can anyone recommend a NYC therapist for. Y autistic teen? 11-2-2022 9:08pm (1 reply)
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    • my autistic teen^^ 11-2-2022 9:08pm
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  3. Special Needs My 16 year old son (Autism/ADHD) have gotten verbally abusive when things don't go his way. Telling me he hates me, mocking me, telling me doesn't want me to 'mother' him anymore....(more) 10-7-2022 5:00pm (5 replies)
    A few sessions with the psychologist, and me keeping calm is finally paying off. My message to him was that he could hate me, but I still loved him. He didn't want me to mother him, but I still care. And he has the right to feel anger, but not the right to be abusive. This morning he almost he went into a fit, stopped himself, looked me in the eyes, and bowed his head down. While this has been very stressful, I'm glad he's showing control and somehow he understands how words hurt.
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    • Great progress. Sending you love! I know how hard it is. I have ds with asd/adhd too 10-7-2022 5:02pm
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      • ^ it's so hard to remain calm in thise situations. You're doing great. 10-7-2022 5:03pm
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    • wow. that is wonderful progress. kudos to you for staying calm. you are admirable. 10-7-2022 5:14pm
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      • not easy 10-7-2022 5:18pm
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        • that is why i think you deserve a lot of credit. 10-7-2022 5:19pm
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  4. Special Needs Psychiatrist recommendations. Anyone has experience with Dr. Boorady, Dr. Hollander or Dr. Daly?...(more) 9-2-2022 5:29pm (1 reply)
    Looking for a psychiatrist for nineteen year old daughter with high-functioning autism, OCD and behavioral issues in NYC. Would appreciate information about any of these doctors and also any recommendations.
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    • Dc is 24 and has been seeing dr Boorady since she was 11. He is really wonderful. Very responsive to both me and dc, empathetic and super smart. 9-2-2022 5:31pm
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  5. Special Needs How would you handle? 13yo ds has a bunch of different dx's: ADHD, anxiety, OCD, social-pragmatic disorder, sensory issues, etc. His neuropsych thinks he's not on the ASD spectrum...(more) 8-4-2022 10:37am (16 replies)
    even though he obviously is on the margins. His psychiatrist thinks he's textbook ASD-1 or what they used to call Asperger's. Ds knows other ASD kids/adults and definitely notices that there is something different about them -- but doesn't see any similarities within himself. But now he's starting to ask "I just have ADHD, right? I'm not autistic, right?" and I don't know how to answer that.
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    • I think you can say no, but that people with adhd also struggle with some of the same things that people with autism struggle with. You can also highlight that the label doesn’t...(more) 8-4-2022 10:39am
      matter so much as how you’re working on things that are hard for him. Gl.
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      • That's helpful, thank you 8-4-2022 10:40am
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    • i'm not an expert but what i'm starting to realize is that we know a lot more about treatment than we do about categorizations. we are actually getting very good at treating...(more) 8-4-2022 10:41am
      symptoms or problems, we are not good at diagnosing or understanding causes. so i'd tell him that labels are labels and are only useful to us in the way they help treatment. so no, as far as you know he's not autistic but it doesn't matter if he has x, y and z issues that need to be addressed, because we're addressing them.
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      • That's great 8-4-2022 10:42am
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    • I would just say all of these things are a spectrum and some people have some features of various "named" disorders without neatly fitting into any in particular. [anyway, if...(more) 8-4-2022 10:41am
      he's asking that question he probably DOES see similarities with himself.
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      • Yes. And he is starting to see that I'm sending him to things that include kids with ASD (like social skills classes), so he's wondering what that means for him. 8-4-2022 10:42am
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    • It is beyond frustrating when drs disagree on dxs, because that means therapy and treatment differ as well. My dd’s psychiatrist has dont one thing well - explaining conditions to...(more) 8-4-2022 10:46am
      Remove the stigma. I cant tell you word for word, but one major point is that MOST people have some behaviors that would lead others to diagnose them as having X, Y or Z, when in fact, those others are only seeing this person under a certain circumstance (math class, for example) and never see them at other times, when the “undesirable” behaviors simply disappear. Also, autism is a spectrum. It can be extreme, where a person is not able to function on their own. It can be invisible to everyone, inc professionals. Start reading sites like CHADD and ADDitudes.com. Tons of helpful info and resources
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      • Totally agree, school psych who posted below. 8-4-2022 10:49am
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    • School psychologist here. Please tell him not to focus on the dx. These dxs are not "blood tests." When I work with students, focus on what sounds like his very many strengths and...(more) 8-4-2022 10:48am
      also areas that he feels he may need to improve. Perspective is key. Over the pandemic, I discovered Wholehearted School Counseling shop on TeachersPayTeachers website. Take a look at it. Some geared for younger kids for sure but check I am sure some of the information she posts will be relevant. This is not a "gold standard, research based program" but the kids I work with have really taken to it well. Supplemented with other types of therapeutic strategies/techniques. Good luck!
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    • I'd tell him it's hard to know because so many of those issues overlap each other. Suggest focusing on what he needs to work on or compensate for (put in more positive way) rather...(more) 8-4-2022 10:50am
      rather than a label. Hope that makes sense. My son has a list of issues as well. He will only talk about his ADHD and Anxiety because it's socially acceptable. Fine w/ me .
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      • ^Also, sometimes it's good for them to know others with same issues. My son is also dyslexic. I found people like Richard Branson and many other famous people who are successful...(more) 8-4-2022 10:53am
        and show him that some of his perceived weakness will end up being strengths in adulthood. Example: ADHD kids need to figure out different ways to learn while others learn they way they were traditionally taught. ADHD kids learn to think outside the box because they've had to do that all their lives
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        • ita. My dd had a really gifted young math tutor (grad school mathematician) who was genuinely amazed by the unusual way she approached math problems. He said the issue is not that...(more) 8-4-2022 11:15am
          she's wrong - she was right, it was just a very unusual way of seeing the solution. That made her feel very good and restored a little self esteem
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    • He's probably ASD based on what you've described and you shielding him from that puts a stigma on the ASD that you shouldn't. You are not helping him by shielding him from what is...(more) 8-4-2022 10:51am
      likely ASD (kids at 13yo are no longer just "sensory" kids, but you probagly know that). If you project your own insecurities about having an ASD onto your kid, or if you shield him, it's not the right way about addressing his differences down the road.
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    • My ds was quite similar. We got a late ASD dx (age 13). Has you child had the ADOS test administered? Somehow we had never gotten that, despite all the earlier neuropsychs. That's...(more) 8-5-2022 1:31pm
      what finally gave us the diagnosis. And while the diagnosis doesn't change your kid, it made a BIG difference in how we were approaching medication. The prozac he had been taking for anxiety is actually activating for many spectrum kids, and once we got rid of it his irritability dropped enormously. We were able to better target medication support, and that made a very big impact.
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      • What medication did you land on? 8-6-2022 1:42pm
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    • My 18 y/o sound very similar. his psychiatrist said he isn't on the spectrum bc he doesn't always present with the social piece - he is often 100% appropriate and socially...(more) 8-7-2022 7:07am
      connected but when he is anxious it looks more spectrummy. Anyway, as to your question, ds has always been in school w kids who are on the spectrum but doesn't see himself as that way - we just always focus on his strengths and the support he needs individually. I am sure he thinks it sometimes but by 18 he is pretty comforable in who he is.
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  6. Special Needs This post has been disliked 4 times. showAutistic 16-yo is working this summer vs. the SYEP program. His worksite had everyone attend a daylong seminar today where he was the only white person. Awkward for anybody, but...(more) 8-1-2022 4:44pm (17 replies)
    who thought that was a good idea for an autistic teenager?
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    • Sorry, seminar about “white privilege”. 8-1-2022 4:44pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 8-1-2022 4:45pm
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      • This post has been deleted. 8-1-2022 4:47pm
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        • This post has been deleted. 8-1-2022 4:48pm
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    • This post has been disliked 3 times. showWould you say anything? DS felt like he was being accused and insulted all day. He’s been in majority non-white school forever, he has trouble understanding himself as not a...(more) 8-1-2022 4:45pm
      minority.
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      • go fuck yourself 8-1-2022 4:47pm
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      • The focus on the minority thing is a yawner. 8-1-2022 4:47pm
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        • Are you familiar with autism? Many are face blind or otherwise have difficulty even identifying someone’s race....(more) 8-1-2022 4:53pm
          And the necessary level of social skill and diplomacy to fend off rude generalizations about whites is way beyond most autistics.
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          • This is an OP problem, not the kid's problem. 8-1-2022 4:55pm
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      • you mean, would you use your white privilege to complain about a white privilege seminar that may make your kid uncomfortable? 8-1-2022 4:56pm
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        • Wow. The degree to which you guys are applauding a SN kid getting attacked for his race all day is amazing. 8-1-2022 4:58pm
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          • sounds like a yes then. go for it 8-1-2022 5:00pm
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      • This city really sucks. And I'm brown, and I feel more for my white friends who are being victimized, than my brown/black friends. 8-3-2022 4:17pm
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    • Clearly folks on this board don’t believe it’s racist to generalize about white people or place collective blame for all historical wrongs. Sorry your kid was barrages with racist...(more) 8-1-2022 4:50pm
      comments blaming him for other people’s shit all day.
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    • Wait, the entire workplace was minority except one kid with SN? What is the point of having an all-day event on white privilege if that’s your entire...(more) 8-1-2022 5:06pm
      workforce, to dump on the one kid all day? Was it a hostile thing because his social skills are off and someone took it personally without grasping the autism issue?
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    • fair point 8-3-2022 4:18pm
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  7. Special Needs Anyone in nyc with over 18 dc with autism. is your dc in a group home? have a job? do you have guardianship? 7-10-2022 2:33pm (13 replies)
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    • This post has been deleted. 7-10-2022 2:34pm
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    • my dc does not have autism but some of the dcs at her school do. There are transition to adulthood programs at both Cooke and Winston Prep, and my dc currently attends one. After...(more) 7-11-2022 11:16am
      that my dc will, I hope, attend a college experience program. We did supported decision making, not guardianship. And that is what other families I know are doing too (along with a health care proxy and power of attorney). People who have graduated also have gone on to do day hah without walls. For the most part, I understand most live with their families at home. I know part time paid employment is a goal, but there are also government benefits, so full time employment is not a goal.
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    • Yes, dc has ASD. We wanted a group home but decided against it due to the years wait time and inappropriate housemates. He attends school and yes, a hard fought guardianship. 7-11-2022 3:21pm
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      • thank you so much! what made the guardianship hard? in my situation, ds is high functioning in the sense he speaks well, but low iq and no executive functioning at all. very slow...(more) 7-11-2022 5:28pm
        moving at everything. sometimes has a temper.
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        • In NY, we applied for 17A guardianship which is meant to be without lawyers. Dc is high functioning. The judge's clerk appointed a guardian ad litem for dc because he is high...(more) 7-15-2022 7:18am
          functioning. It dragged on for months and months. Complicated by dc's pending criminal issues and hospitalization. He is high functioning but he is unable to manage day to day issues. GL
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          • the 17A guardianship is a very restrictive one, where dc loses his rights. That is probably why you had a hard time since he is high functioning. A better choice for a person,...(more) 7-15-2022 8:35am
            where they don't lose all their rights, is the Article 81 guardianship in Supreme Court. Yes, you need a lawyer for that, and there are annual accountings that have to be filed. But we are talking about someone's rights and independence here. it is a serious matter. In my opinion, people are took quick to jump to 17A because they get to save some legal fees, rather than looking at the big picture. Better, I think, to pay some legal fees and do the right thing.
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            • Prior to filing 17A, I hired an experienced lawyer and we reviewed the application together. DC is high functioning but cannot manage life on his own - and we tried....(more) 7-16-2022 7:21am
              himup. At the time of fling, he had legal issues, was being held involuntarily at a hospital for harming others (family) and a documented history of instability. Interesting enough, the GAL offered no options if the guardianship was denied.
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              • ^This was not about saving $$. Since age 7, we spent thousands on residential schools, therapies, psychiatrists, evaluations and meds. The best we could find and never...(more) 7-16-2022 7:27am
                hesitated because it cost $.
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                • then you probably should have done Article 81 instead. It sounds like someone steered you towards 17A, with is meant for people who are low functioning because they loose their...(more) 7-18-2022 11:04am
                  rights.
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              • it sounds like a lot of the problems your dc had were similar to situations families face with a mentally ill (as opposed to special needs in the sense we mean here) dc. Those...(more) 7-18-2022 12:29pm
                families usually don't even have guardianship as an option because the dc is "mentally competent" and will fight an Article 81 guardianship attempt. There is no help at all for those families in terms of control of the dc. That is probably why the GAL had no options for you if the guardianship did not work out.
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                • The underlying issue with dc is ASD, well documented and plenty of examples where he needs guardianship. He is not mentally ill, and that was documented as well. 7-26-2022 5:21pm
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    • Mine but he's applying to college for next year. 7-16-2022 8:25pm
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  8. Special Needs My mother-in-law definitely has Autism and I can’t stand her. I have no patience for her BS. On the other hand, I have infinite patience and love for my ASD teen. I wish I could...(more) 7-2-2022 8:47pm (14 replies)
    do that with her. Can’t stand her! Needed to vent.
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    • maybe you feel free to have those negative emotions towards her that you wouldnt allow yourself to feel with your DC 7-2-2022 8:48pm
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      • Hmm, I don’t think so. I see it as the difference between dealing with a grown woman with ASD with no social skills and a kid that’s awesome. 7-2-2022 8:55pm
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    • What does she do that’s so unbearable? 7-2-2022 8:49pm
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      • No interest in anyone except herself, focus on just her interests, no empathy, doesn’t show love to anyone around her, self-centered., BUT incredibly smart (multiple advanced...(more) 7-2-2022 9:04pm
        degrees and speaks 5 languages.)
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        • That sounds more like NPD than ASP. As a parent with a child on the spectrum you should know that people with Autism have a great deal of empathy. 7-2-2022 9:09pm
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          • ^^*ASD, not ASP 7-2-2022 9:10pm
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    • You’re biologically designed to love your child 7-2-2022 8:50pm
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      • This is so untrue. So many parents don’t love or care about their children. 7-2-2022 8:51pm
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        • “So many”? Really ? No 7-2-2022 8:52pm
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          • There are many absentee, negligent and abusive parents out there, yes. 7-2-2022 8:56pm
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    • It's possible that you dislike her because of her personality not her diagnosis. 7-2-2022 8:54pm
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      • Yes, which part of it is brought on by ASD. 7-2-2022 8:59pm
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    • Fuck you 7-2-2022 8:55pm
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  9. Special Needs Autistic or neurodivergent therapist...(more) 5-25-2022 5:22pm (1 reply)
    Hi,
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    • does anyone know of any autistic or neurodivergent therapists in NYC? 5-25-2022 5:23pm
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  10. Special Needs My SN kid has seizures, night terrors, autism, refuses to eat sometimes for days (he has a feeding tube, but we work hard to get him eating by mouth and then we lose it), whenever...(more) 5-16-2022 8:37am (8 replies)
    we gain a skill, he often loses it. He also has allergies, weird rashes which often get misdiagnosed. He is 11 and potty trained but occasional accidents.
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    • iam so sorry. 5-16-2022 8:37am
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    • I would check for two things: tick infections and toxic mold 5-16-2022 8:37am
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      • op: At first a gene panel showed nothing, but we joined a research study and they found a gene previously known for autism, he was the first case with epilepsy, then they found 20...(more) 5-16-2022 8:38am
        more cases and they gave me the article they wrote.
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    • Thinking of you - you have a lot going on and I wish it was easier for you 5-16-2022 8:43am
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      • op: Thanks. This morning was especially rough. Mornings are usually the best time of day. 5-16-2022 8:44am
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        • You deserve a lifetime of easy days. Sending a hug 5-16-2022 8:51am
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          • op: Thank you so much. 5-16-2022 8:56am
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  11. Special Needs General rant: When I talk about my 19 ds with autism and what is next, please don't ask about group homes! 5-16-2022 7:51am (5 replies)
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    • As toy know, it's a spectrum. People don't know where your ds falls on that spectrum. 5-16-2022 7:53am
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      • Yeah, but then it's always a longer conversation about how NY has divested from group homes... 5-16-2022 7:54am
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      • It's best to let the parent bring that up- the majority dont need a group home! NP 5-16-2022 8:26am
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    • I have what used to be called Aspergers (and I still call it Aspergers) and have been gainfully employed my entire adult life. My SIL is autistic and lives in a group home. It's...(more) 5-16-2022 7:55am
      indeed a spectrum.
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    • ugh, people are idiots 5-16-2022 8:25am
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  12. Special Needs Can anyone recommend a therapist for my neurodiverse teen, who is not autistic? NYC 5-5-2022 8:16pm (19 replies)
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    • what diagnosis 5-5-2022 8:18pm
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      • No official diagnosis, which is part of the problem. One of those kids who falls in a large undefined gray area. Some autistic traits but few, and mild, some ADHD traits,. He is...(more) 5-5-2022 8:19pm
        really depressed and I need to find a therapist who “gets” sn kids.
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        • Treat as if he's on the spectrum- dont mean to scare you but the traits become more obvious with age 5-5-2022 8:24pm
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          • I’m not scared if he is autistic. He is 17. You mean they become more obvious in adulthood? 5-5-2022 8:31pm
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            • Yes, the transition from high school to post high school can be rough 5-5-2022 8:33pm
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              • Yes, I’m really very worried about this. Are you speaking from experience? 5-5-2022 8:36pm
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                • Yes, I'm a mom to a dc who was finally diagnosed late because he fell apart at this point and started screaming that he was autistic:( 5-5-2022 8:39pm
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                  • He is doing so much better with a therapist who understands him and how his mind works! 5-5-2022 8:39pm
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                    • How/when did he fall apart? And can you share the name of the therapist? 5-5-2022 8:46pm
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                      • And how did he get diagnosed? 5-5-2022 8:46pm
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    • Jason Kahn - Nyack 5-5-2022 8:19pm
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      • We are in Brooklyn. We cannot go to Nyack weekly. 5-5-2022 8:20pm
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        • Teletherapy 5-5-2022 8:20pm
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          • He won’t do it. Something bout the screen that paralyzes him. 5-5-2022 8:22pm
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    • Joe Schippa - Westchester 5-5-2022 8:19pm
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    • Leah Noe. 5-5-2022 8:25pm
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      • Can you say more about her? 5-5-2022 8:33pm
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  13. Special Needs My 14 y/o ds had an allergic reaction to tree nuts about a year ago and through allergy testing learned he's severely allergic to some teee nuts and mildly allergic to tree nuts....(more) 5-4-2022 9:35am (6 replies)
    He hasn't been out and about much this last year due to social anxiety and also has a recent possible autism diagnosis through his school. He's going on an overnight school field trip that includes an amusement park. I'm concerned because he has trouble speaking up. The kids will be off on there own but should I arrange for him to eat only with his chaperone right there with him? Any guidance would be helpful.
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    • Yes eating should only be with chaperone. Also he must keep his epipen on him at all times. 5-4-2022 9:36am
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      • It would be overboard for me to go, correct? 5-4-2022 9:38am
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        • what chaperone do you think can monitor his eating? 14 year olds will snack whenever in a part 5-4-2022 10:50am
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    • ^^^meant severely allergic to some tree nuts and mildly allergic to peanuts. 5-4-2022 9:37am
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    • My ds always eats candy in this situation, not ice cream or chocolate 5-4-2022 9:49am
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    • I'm sorry, that must be really hard 5-4-2022 9:50am
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  14. Special Needs Dh and I dropped ds who is non verbal with autism and in laws and they took him out without asking. Dh thinks it’s great and I am pissed 5-1-2022 7:24pm (87 replies)
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    • So they're watching your kid and taking him out and you have an issue? 5-1-2022 7:25pm
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      • Yes, I don’t think that’s safe. 5-1-2022 7:25pm
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        • Was he harmed in any way? 5-1-2022 7:26pm
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          • He could have been. 5-1-2022 7:26pm
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            • Then don't drop him ofc places 5-1-2022 7:27pm
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            • But he wasn't. Yay ILs! 5-1-2022 7:27pm
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    • uh, so your dc is supposed spend there west of his life at home 5-1-2022 7:25pm
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      • No, we take him out. 5-1-2022 7:26pm
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    • What is your concern ? 5-1-2022 7:25pm
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      • Him running off and getting hurt or spinning out of control. 5-1-2022 7:26pm
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        • Do they know how to handle him ? 5-1-2022 7:27pm
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          • No 5-1-2022 7:27pm
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            • then why would you leave him with them if they don't know how to handle him? Not fair to your kid or to the grandparents. 5-1-2022 8:15pm
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        • This post has been disliked 3 times. showDid that happen? 5-1-2022 7:27pm
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    • I don't think these are people you want to alienate. Get over it quick and have a talk with them about the reasons why it isn't a good idea. 5-1-2022 7:26pm
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      • Excuse me. 5-1-2022 7:26pm
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        • you have people willing to take your high needs special needs child and care for him. Get over it and have a talk with them about safety issues etc so they know not to do it again 5-1-2022 7:27pm
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          • This post has been disliked 4 times. showI don’t need that. If it’s not safe I don’t want it. 5-1-2022 7:28pm
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            • ask them not to do it again and explain why. If they aren't willing to agree then don't leave him again but all I am saying is talk it out 5-1-2022 7:28pm
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              • That’s what I will do I am just really shocked that they would think that’s okay. 5-1-2022 7:29pm
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                • I have a dear friend who has a non verbal son and most people have no idea what it's really like. Which is why you have to really tell them what could go wrong. 5-1-2022 7:29pm
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                  • We have tried. They don’t get it. 5-1-2022 7:30pm
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                    • then this is a recurring problem and they may not be suitable care givers, I am sorry, I know this is hard. 5-1-2022 7:31pm
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                      • and DH must be on the same page as you. 5-1-2022 7:31pm
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                      • I don’t want them to watch ds but dh will have a problem with that. 5-1-2022 7:31pm
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            • Why did you drop him off at their home? 5-1-2022 7:29pm
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              • To watch him. 5-1-2022 7:29pm
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                • Which they did. 5-1-2022 7:30pm
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                  • They can’t take him out. 5-1-2022 7:30pm
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                    • This post has been disliked 3 times. showPeople like you annoy me. You want the help, which I understand, but then you want to control all aspects of the help you get. Do your relatives a favor and watch your own kid. 5-1-2022 7:32pm
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                      • I didn’t ask for this. This kid is 16 years old and they are just watching him now for maybe the third time. 5-1-2022 7:33pm
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                        • Ok. 5-1-2022 7:33pm
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                          • Well why are they so inexperienced with watching him do you think? 5-1-2022 7:34pm
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                      • back off. unless you have a non verbal LARGE 16 yo boy with autism you have NO idea how difficult it is and how hard it is to have help 5-1-2022 7:38pm
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                        • This, he is so strong, they would not be able to physically stop him if be truly wanted to do something. 5-1-2022 7:39pm
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            • Did you explicitly tell them not to? Or were they just clueless. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Tell the. Exactly what you want and don't want. Then give the. Another...(more) 5-1-2022 7:31pm
              chance. If they screw up a gain the. Be done.
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              • I think they knew better. I will be clear if they watch him 5-1-2022 7:35pm
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                • again 5-1-2022 7:35pm
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                • I hope they say no to you. 5-1-2022 7:36pm
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                  • Troll 5-1-2022 7:37pm
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                    • The op is the troll. 5-1-2022 7:37pm
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                • Yeah it's hard will people who are not familiar. I would assume they know nothing. Just be very clear with the. Next time. I'm sorry. Sounds like a very stressful situation...(more) 5-1-2022 7:37pm
                  for you
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                  • My mil is actually a therapist and took some CEUs on autism and I think she thinks she knows a 5-1-2022 7:38pm
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                    • Ugh a lot 5-1-2022 7:38pm
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                    • well she would know a lot. Taking him out should be discussed so you can go over his behavior and triggers 5-1-2022 7:44pm
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                      • You can’t know how to deal with from a class that wasn’t even on that. 5-1-2022 7:45pm
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                        • OK, I dont know what she knows- but being a therapist and taking classes in autism is more than the vast majority of people- including direct care staff through an agency! Just...(more) 5-1-2022 7:48pm
                          talk to through with them. You might feel reassured.
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    • Did he enjoy himself? 5-1-2022 7:26pm
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    • how old? what if had gotten lost 5-1-2022 7:28pm
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      • 16, that would be extremely devastating. 5-1-2022 7:30pm
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        • good thing he isn't a black or brown kid. police interaction 5-1-2022 7:31pm
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          • He is brown. 5-1-2022 7:32pm
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            • Of course. I'm calling fake now. 5-1-2022 7:34pm
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              • Yeah no one is brown. He is mixed, I am Black. 5-1-2022 7:35pm
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                • This post has been disliked 4 times. showYour scenario is fake. SN used to be troll free. 5-1-2022 7:36pm
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                • write your phone number on his arm in sharpie next time 5-1-2022 7:36pm
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                  • This is a good idea 5-1-2022 7:37pm
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                    • Gee, it feels pretty disrespectful to my child. 5-1-2022 7:39pm
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                      • What do you want? You have a non verbal young adult. You're worried when he's out of your sight. This is a reasonable solution. 5-1-2022 7:40pm
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                        • Im this case I just need for my in laws not to tale him out. 5-1-2022 7:41pm
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                • This post has been disliked 3 times. showwhere's hje going to college? 5-1-2022 7:37pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 5-1-2022 7:38pm
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      • I 5-1-2022 7:40pm
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      • He has severe autism. 5-1-2022 7:40pm
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        • This post has been deleted. 5-1-2022 7:43pm
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          • I spend all my time teaching him basic life akil 5-1-2022 7:44pm
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            • Skills so I have to k ow what be is capable of and it’s hard to control him when he’s out and ovwrarimulated. 5-1-2022 7:45pm
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              • This post has been deleted. 5-1-2022 7:48pm
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                • This post has been deleted. 5-1-2022 7:49pm
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                • No 5-1-2022 7:49pm
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              • I once worked with a 13yo with severe autism doing home based support. The parents were never home and didnt tell me anything. I took him to the park and he became overstimulated...(more) 5-1-2022 7:54pm
                and refused to leave. I saw the nannies at the park hide their kids' eyes and realized he had stripped! It was kind of scary to figure out how to get him home, but we managed (I kept repeating his Toy Story scripts). His parents later admitted they never took him out without holding his hand and were impressed with my use of scripts.
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                • Indon’t want my kid to be naked at the park. 5-1-2022 7:56pm
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                • This post has been deleted. 5-1-2022 7:56pm
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                  • Op we take him out. 5-1-2022 7:58pm
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                    • This post has been deleted. 5-1-2022 8:00pm
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                      • No, not while being unsafe. You don’t get it. 5-1-2022 8:01pm
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                        • This post has been deleted. 5-1-2022 8:04pm
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          • This post has been deleted. 5-1-2022 7:44pm
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            • I just need to be very very clear. 5-1-2022 7:46pm
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    • where did they take him to? 5-1-2022 7:41pm
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      • Home depot and Mcdonlads 5-1-2022 7:42pm
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        • I think Home Depot is rough for anyone. 5-1-2022 7:42pm
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        • Did he have a good time? 5-1-2022 7:42pm
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          • Probably but he can get out of control at any point. 5-1-2022 7:43pm
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  15. Special Needs Posted on SN as well. Looking for a therapist for teen not dx’d with ASD but has one autistic traits. Need someone familiar with this mind of nuanced teen. 5-1-2022 1:58pm (16 replies)
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    • ^^some traits, NYC 5-1-2022 1:58pm
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    • Every teen is 'nuanced'. 5-1-2022 2:00pm
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      • OP: of course! I mean someone who is is able to recognize neurodivergencie in teen who does not have dx 5-1-2022 2:01pm
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        • Np: who determined there is no asd present? 5-1-2022 2:05pm
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          • Developmental Ped. 5-1-2022 2:08pm
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    • I’d ask the pediatrician. When you need a pretty specialized therapist, they ought to be able to direct you. GL! 5-1-2022 2:03pm
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      • She doesn't though. She is has a kid with no particular dx. So in the range of normal. 5-1-2022 2:05pm
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        • Are you the OP? If not, get lost 5-1-2022 2:07pm
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          • every parent thinks their kid needs some unique unicorn. Therapists treat mental health and maladpative behaviors as they manifest. 5-1-2022 2:08pm
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            • This is not how I would describe him. You have no. Idea what you are saying. I would do anything not to have to try to find help for my “nicorn” and to be worried about things...(more) 5-1-2022 2:11pm
              like at college he is go to
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            • Get lost faster than youre doing it now 5-1-2022 2:12pm
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        • OP: he has neurodivergencies for sure. It u what the “range of normal” is these days. Therapists for kids with ASS are focused on helping kids with traits he does not have. But he...(more) 5-1-2022 2:10pm
          Needs help and we have seen therapists who say they see kids like him and really have no idea what they are doing.
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          • Are you in NYC? Maybe try Antoinette Lynn, a neuropsych we consulted for our DD's processing issues. Very thorough. if she's not right, she'll know who would be. 5-1-2022 2:13pm
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            • Thank you 5-1-2022 2:14pm
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              • You're welcome and good luck. 5-1-2022 2:16pm
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  16. Special Needs Can anyone recommend a therapist familiar with kids who do not have a dx of ASD but have some traits of autism? For my teen. Impossible to find. NYC 5-1-2022 1:57pm (0 replies)
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  17. Special Needs Dd has an iep and self contained k classroom. where do i go if i want to get an opinion on an autism diagnosis? does it have to be a private neuropsychologist? 4-25-2022 12:27pm (10 replies)
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    • How old? 4-25-2022 12:28pm
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      • 4yo 4-25-2022 12:28pm
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        • A neuropsych is the best way to go about it for expert unbiased evaluation. You’ll need one for the T5 process if that’s at all relevant to you. 4-25-2022 12:30pm
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          • T5? 4-25-2022 12:31pm
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            • Turning 5 process if you’re considering non-public moving forward. 4-25-2022 12:32pm
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              • ^i should specify are you in NYC? 4-25-2022 12:32pm
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                • yes, thanks, in nyc. not at all sure what we want, i thought she'd grow out of it and so i was not paying attention to anything 4-25-2022 12:35pm
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                  • Do you have a case manager? Speak to them, you could probably get an evaluation through the DOE. 4-25-2022 12:37pm
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                    • no, i don't know if i have a case manager. 4-25-2022 12:42pm
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            • ^^i'm wondering if there's another option for a kind of preliminary diagnosis and then if i'm not happy or want to go further, to do a second evaluation 4-25-2022 12:34pm
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  18. Special Needs My mil is so annoying. She now thinks she is autistic she says. My ds has severe autism and is non verbal. I can’t stand her inability to not be insensitive. 4-24-2022 8:14pm (9 replies)
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    • Tell her you think she is just like Johnny 4-24-2022 8:15pm
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    • Great, just what I had hoped not to hear more of - MIL bashing 4-24-2022 8:15pm
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      • This is sn. 4-24-2022 8:15pm
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        • np why does the board matter? 4-24-2022 8:19pm
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          • This post has been deleted. 4-24-2022 8:23pm
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            • Mil could be on the spectrum and never diagnosed, lightbulb just went on 4-24-2022 8:25pm
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              • This post has been deleted. 4-24-2022 8:26pm
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    • Maybe she is seeing her younger self in your dc. Very common 4-24-2022 8:20pm
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    • Inability to not be insensitive? 4-24-2022 8:27pm
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  19. Special Needs We have applied for guardianship of our 19 with autism. However, I have heard that power of attorney and medical proxy may be a better alternative. Anyone with advice? I have an...(more) 4-12-2022 10:16am (5 replies)
    email out to a sped lawyer. Thanks.
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    • In NY? 4-12-2022 4:19pm
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      • Yes 4-13-2022 9:55am
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        • We filed for a 17A in NY for our dc with autism. He is, at times, oppositional and defiant. We decided against the POA and Medical proxy because he could revoke it at any time....(more) 4-13-2022 12:24pm
          At 17/18, he was not mature and still making bad decisions. Our 17 A (which was intended by the State to be do-it-yourself was very contigious.
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  20. Special Needs Autism level 1 kids move out and go to college or no? 4-5-2022 7:43pm (5 replies)
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    • depends on the kid. what's your gut telling you? 4-5-2022 7:44pm
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      • Hard to know honestly, waiting to see how rest of puberty goes as far as maybe some maturity 4-5-2022 7:45pm
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    • It really depends on the kid. IMO - focus on supports and building skills while you can and celebrate any steps forward. No sense in trying to predict the future 4-6-2022 8:12am
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    • My junior is planning to, and we and his guidance counselor agree that will be right for him. 4-6-2022 10:08am
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    • What's Autism level 1? My ds has Autism but I've never heard the level lingo. 4-7-2022 6:24pm
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  21. Special Needs Autism level 1 kids always need non mainstream high school? Dr seems to think middle school years may bring serious depression, has this been your experience? 4-4-2022 6:15pm (10 replies)
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    • friend of mine held her ds back one year and also moved to a different nabe bc of school for her ds 4-4-2022 6:16pm
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      • What kind of school? Public? My dad was already held back in K but he is a summer birthday so that’s kind of typical -ish 4-4-2022 6:17pm
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        • public school but a smaller town that had great services for him 4-4-2022 6:18pm
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          • Moving isn’t an option for us but there is a high school near us with a sn track just not sure what sn that means 4-4-2022 6:19pm
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            • make an appointment and go in or have a phone call with someone who can give you lots of detail 4-4-2022 6:19pm
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              • ^^ maybe its like a BOCES style career track? 4-4-2022 6:20pm
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                • I don’t even know what that is! 4-4-2022 6:26pm
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    • In most places the only real options are MS high schools. 4-4-2022 8:49pm
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    • My ds is at a mainstream high school. We did find one that is STEM-themed and super nerdy, which is more socially comfortable for him. 4-5-2022 11:27am
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    • Depends on the kid. Mine is fine in mainstream. 4-6-2022 8:10am
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  22. Special Needs What meds did your autistic kids take? 3-30-2022 11:52pm (5 replies)
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    • Abilify, Zoloft 3-30-2022 11:54pm
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    • Focalin and Xanax. Both enabled them to function. 3-31-2022 9:05am
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    • clozapine 3-31-2022 11:40am
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    • risperadone, prozac 4-1-2022 6:33am
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  23. Special Needs Vacations: We seldom on a vacation due to dc and behaviors related to autism. In the past, i managed dc while on vacation but it seemed harder outside his sphere. Is this...(more) 3-16-2022 8:59am (18 replies)
    typical? Do you go on week long vacations?
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    • We don’t go on vacation. Mil talks about going tp Europe because she’s an idiot. 3-16-2022 9:00am
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      • Did you every consider separate vacations? 3-16-2022 9:02am
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      • Why is she an idiot for talking about going to Europe? 3-16-2022 9:07am
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        • She should be able 3-16-2022 9:07am
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          • ^ to see that’s not going to happen and be more sensitive 3-16-2022 9:08am
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            • I'm sure she feels she spends her life trying to be sensitive to your needs 3-16-2022 9:09am
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              • She sucks at it. 3-16-2022 9:09am
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    • It took us a long time to vacation. When we did, they were a ton of work. We always brought a white board to map out plans for the day, which helped him with expectations and...(more) 3-16-2022 9:01am
      transitions. Still, it was really hard in the early days. Now that he is older, he loves to travel. We still have our moments where he perseverates on what he wants to do but he has become much more flexible. Also - highly recommend Jet Blue if you're flying. They allow early boarding (and silent boarding if needed).
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      • ^^if it wasn't obvious enough - I also have a dc with ASD 3-16-2022 9:01am
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    • We actually worked on this with a psychologist. Dc didnt like change of routine, new places, too much stimulation- but vacations were important to us. She said it's not so much an...(more) 3-16-2022 9:02am
      issue for people who go to the same vacation home every time, but we didnt have that option so we chose the same chain hotel every time. We started with weekends and then increased. He had a schedule and we made sure he had downtime with his videos and activities he liked like swimming. Eventually he was able to expand and now at 22 he does well.
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      • Do you go to the same destination? 3-16-2022 9:03am
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        • At first we did- weekends at a hotel with a pool an hour away. Then we expanded to a week, then to the same chain elsewhere.By 16 or so he became more flexible and we traveled to...(more) 3-16-2022 9:05am
          other places
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    • We do go, but we didn't start going until ds was 8. Before Covid, we made a point of going on 2 vacations a year with family, and then dh takes ds on 2 vacations alone. DS doesn't...(more) 3-16-2022 6:58pm
      like to go on trips that aren't his choice. We feel we have to make him go even where he doesn't want to go.
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    • It's not unusual. We don't do 'relazing' vacations. DS needs structure, a schedule and to be busy. He does well that way. Beach vacations would be hell. He also does not sleep in...(more) 3-17-2022 10:54am
      ever.
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    • We could not until ds was 10 4-2-2022 1:29pm
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  24. Special Needs Kid's special needs school can't deal with behaviors...(more) 3-10-2022 4:12pm (12 replies)
    Wanted to share with others who have been through this. Today I got a call from my kid's school social worker--your kid had a meltdown in school. The sequence of events: 1. Kid is told to stop drawing (preferred activity) and go to speech therapy (boring activity). Kid has trouble with transitioning and also has demand avoidance. 2. Kid goes into speech, and then runs out of the speech therapy room and to a part of the building they're not supposed to be in. School can't tell me what happened in the room or why she left. 3. Other adults get called on to get the kid to a safe area and calm down. Kid is starting to panic and is told she can't enter the room until she is calm. She is told she has to wait 10 minutes to calm down. Kid is autistic and has known problems with waiting. She starts to panic more. 4. Kid sees that the other kids are going outside to recess and is told she cannot join them because she is not calm enough.
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    • continued......(more) 3-10-2022 4:12pm
      Kid has trouble with unexpected schedule changes and sudden disappointment; kid also has ADHD and needs physical activity in order to calm down, and is being deprived of this because "she is not calm enough." She has a full-on meltdown (screaming, flopping on the floor, etc.). Adults continue trying to calm her, speaking to her, even though it is known that she becomes nonverbal during meltdowns. This is a special needs school. They're supposed to understand kids on the spectrum. What do I need to do now to prevent this happening again? I can try collaborative problem solving etc. but need to try to get them to understand that each intervention above makes sense for a neurotypical child who is willfully misbehaving, and makes everything worse for an autistic, anxious, demand-avoidant kid.
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      • Is she in a SN school or part of a SN program at a typical school? My sn dd sounds very similar. It was much better when she was in a SN specific school. I wish she could have...(more) 3-10-2022 4:14pm
        stayed there but they don't do highschool.
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      • usually i find when you get calls like this it is bc they want you to explore medication. would that potentially help? 3-10-2022 4:27pm
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      • I'm so sorry. But what you've described is practically a FBA map of triggers, which you should share with her team to try to create a better behavior plan. Or rather -- you should...(more) 3-11-2022 2:21pm
        request an FBA and behavior plan, with this input.
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    • I'm sorry. It sounds like a really rough day for your kiddo. 3-10-2022 4:13pm
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    • [hugs] to you 3-10-2022 4:13pm
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    • This sounds really messed up. What school? 3-10-2022 4:13pm
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    • God love her. Give her a hug for me. 3-10-2022 4:17pm
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    • If a one-off event, talk to her about it. If this is more common, the schools is telling you they cannot support her there. 3-10-2022 10:19pm
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    • Not clear whether this is a program where the staff should know better. When ds’ public school was unwittingly triggering him all day and then complaining about the resultant...(more) 3-11-2022 10:58am
      behavior, we got the NYU Steinhardt people to come in and do staff development about ASD, and a functional behavioral analysis done and behavior plan put in place.
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    • Contact Rebecca School if you’re in NYC 3-11-2022 6:00pm
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    • You are right, the can't deal with behavior. Find another school and save your energy, time and $. These are SN teachers ignoring your dc emotional and social needs. It will...(more) 3-12-2022 6:05am
      only get worse. They do not know how to deal with anxiety. What NT dc could calm down after being told "you have a deadline"?
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  25. Special Needs College search with mainstreamed autistic/dysgraphic ds. He is balking at looking into disability services or accommodations if any kind as he investigates colleges, but he would...(more) 2-27-2022 11:21am (26 replies)
    clearly benefit from them. Ideas?
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    • Ideas for what exactly. How to force him to change his mind? 2-27-2022 11:22am
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    • Marist, Landmark U of Arizona they ll have programs 2-27-2022 11:22am
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      • Find schools he likes. Then see what they offer. 2-27-2022 11:23am
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      • Not seeking special needs programs, but rather ideas how to persuade ds to investigate and take advantage of available accommodations in mainstream programs. 2-27-2022 11:23am
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        • Just let him do his thing. If he likes a school you can (on your own in private) poke around. Why must you force him to do it your way 2-27-2022 11:25am
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          • You’re saying she should watch him shoot himself in the foot? Because colleges do not let the parent do this for the student. They MUST advocate for themselves. 2-27-2022 11:26am
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            • She can poke around 2-27-2022 11:27am
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            • . It’s college SEARCH. 2-27-2022 11:27am
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            • You are reactionary. 2-27-2022 11:28am
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    • Do you know which colleges have these? 2-27-2022 11:23am
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      • All of them. DS is in denial that he should use available accommodations. 2-27-2022 11:25am
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        • Hopefully you’ll be able to change his mind 2-27-2022 11:26am
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        • Ok. He’s not IN college yet. 2-27-2022 11:29am
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    • UMass Amherst said if you get services in high school you can still get them. It was just mentioned as an aside by our tour guide. Seemed like lots of kids get them. 2-27-2022 11:23am
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    • He is trying to be grown up. Not need you. Not need support. That is natural. You can investigate and be ready with the info when he needs it 2-27-2022 11:26am
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      • They don’t talk to parents. Only to the student. 2-27-2022 11:27am
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        • OP will you please tell this poster what grade your child is in. 2-27-2022 11:30am
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          • THIS 2-27-2022 11:30am
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          • Finishing junior year. 2-27-2022 7:44pm
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        • They have info on their websites. All of the colleges do 2-27-2022 11:33am
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    • What accommodations does he get in high school? He needs to hear this consistent message: If you received accommodations in high school, don’t try to tackle college without the...(more) 2-27-2022 11:27am
      same accommodations. If he is resisting your guidance, ask someone at his high school to talk to him - a trusted teacher, his guidance counselor, whoever.
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    • Mine refuses to use accommodations and does worse. It's his choice. I can't force him. 2-27-2022 11:28am
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    • the issue is that in college, you generally have to declare his disability. the Yellen center used to have resources relating to this topic 2-27-2022 11:29am
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      • I have worked in university career services for 23 years. If he doesn't learn to request accommodations now, he'll probably fail on the job....(more) 2-27-2022 6:37pm
        I have seen too many students who got accommodations for their college classes, or even managed to get through without accommodations, and then are unable to gain employment (often due to difficulty with the highly-biased job interview process which is completely stacked against autistic people), or who go on to find jobs, only to be fired repeatedly because they didn't disclose a disability and then failed on the job. I had an alum with autism who had so much internalized ableism that he didn't disclose his disability to me for two full years, during which he was fired from 3 different jobs, because he'd have a meltdown or panic attack and not show up for work for days (without calling in sick). College is hard enough. If you refuse to self-advocate, you'll fail, if not now, then at a future job. People fought for the ADA for a reason--use it.
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    • Every college offers accomodations. If he doesn't want to use them, you can't force him. If he does poorly he may rethink it. 2-27-2022 8:46pm
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    • Mine is the same way. Wants ivy league, but can't shower by himself without being hounded to do so. He refuses to consider the colleges like Landmark, etc. 3-2-2022 10:57am
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