Search Results for "adhd"

  1. Special Needs Dd has been trying different ADHD meds. some make her jumpy and others she feels nothing on. do you think the one she feels nothing on she should try for a week to see if there...(more) 11-26-2022 10:41pm (2 replies)
    are changes?
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    • i think she would know right away. I think the jumpiness can go away though on the others. Has she tried vyvanse? Mine seems to do well on it 11-26-2022 10:51pm
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  2. Special Needs How did you decide if your kid should go to a dedicated LD school (Winston Prep, for example) vs. a small private with a support program (Dwight, Bay Ridge Prep)? My kid's issues...(more) 11-22-2022 11:21am (14 replies)
    are around extreme ADHD/mild ASD/exec functioning/anxiety. Has outgrown previous behaviors.
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    • My dd was in an LD middle school and definitely needed a bigger and more socially typical high school so she went to York Prep and it was great. She still got support but made...(more) 11-22-2022 11:43am
      great friends. Finances were a big part, too. We were able to get fully refunded for York. Otherwise we could never have afforded it.
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      • ^ We also looked at Bay Ridge but it was too far. 11-22-2022 11:44am
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      • Does this mean that the BOE paid for York Prep? I've heard of them paying for the additional academic support (Bridge program) but not the whole shebang. 11-22-2022 11:45am
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        • Yep DOE paid. Not sure if that's still the case. It helped that my dd already had a history of attending a ld school- at least that's what my lawyer said at the time. 11-22-2022 11:53am
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        • We get the whole shebang reimbursed at bay ridge prep. 11-22-2022 7:44pm
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          • ^^ dc had previously failed multiple mainstream/ ICT placements. 11-22-2022 7:44pm
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      • Can't reccomend the Bridge program at Bay Ridge Prep highly enough. The fact that is is a *typical* environment that provides excellent support to LD kids was key for us. 11-26-2022 3:14am
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    • My kid with that profile left Nest and is in public ICT. 11-22-2022 7:35pm
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      • ^and though we were nervous it's been a huge success for him. YMMV of course. 11-22-2022 7:36pm
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    • Small (for NYC) public , ICT classes was a disaster. Now attends Smith (chosen because they accept Connor cases) and is doing very well. 11-23-2022 4:02am
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      • What do you think about Smith? 11-23-2022 11:34am
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        • After years of school refusal? He's going to school, has a 91.5 average and is college bound. I am thrilled. It's a small, warm and nurturing school. 11-23-2022 11:54am
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          • That great! 11-23-2022 12:29pm
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    • My dyslexic DC did really well staying at a progressive, supportive private through 8th grade. We supplemented with tutoring for executive function/organizing issues and it really...(more) 11-23-2022 12:39pm
      paid off. For HS they went to a specialized.
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  3. Special Needs 12 yr ds is feeling so demoralized about school. He has an iep, 2 tutors and I work with him a lot but he feels like he doesn’t understand anything and is feeling anxious and down...(more) 11-14-2022 9:29pm (5 replies)
    On himself. How can I help? He is medicated for adhd but it doesn’t seem to help much. He has trouble focusing and is very disinterested in school.
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    • Honestly this was my ds and it’s hardly a walk Iin the park now but it’s so much better. He’s a sophomore. We left public school though fwiw. The teachers just weren’t invested...(more) 11-14-2022 9:31pm
      This profile of kid. His high school teachers at least pretend to care if they don’t
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    • Has he found something he loves to do? A sport, art, music? Help him find something 11-14-2022 9:31pm
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    • Find a different school that will work with him in a better way. 11-14-2022 9:39pm
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    • Find him one class, one teacher that he can feel good about. It makes such a difference. 11-14-2022 9:46pm
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    • What kind of school is he in? 11-15-2022 10:48am
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  4. Special Needs A few months ago, I came across the term RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphora) on the toddler page and I investigated it bc it sounded just like my ADHD teen. He's been taking...(more) 11-8-2022 6:50am (6 replies)
    guanfacine for six weeks now and it has had such a great impact on him. Just wanted to share for anyone else dealing with a highly sensitive kid.
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    • interesting. my adhd teen son takes guanfacine with vyvanse, i think it helps a bit but hard to say transformative. how much is he taking? what are you seing. thanks. 11-8-2022 6:52am
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      • He's taking 1mg of Guanfacine ER and 36mg of Methylphenidate ER. Prior he was always feeling his emotions more strongly than most for real or perceived slights (criticism,...(more) 11-8-2022 6:57am
        rejection, failures) and would fly off the handle, ruminate, tantrum. Now he is able to listen to the other side, shrug things off, more chill in general and he's doing better w school and executive functioning as a result
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        • Wow happened upon this and may have to read up on RSD. My DC doesn't have ADHD or take anything but I think has RSD. Wants a gf but won't date or ask anyone else. Very afraid of...(more) 11-8-2022 7:01am
          being hurt. It's odd because we have good marriage.
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          • OP: My DS liked a girl at the end of the last school year and found out she was dating someone else. He had such an over the top reaction that lasted a couple of weeks. 11-8-2022 7:03am
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        • that's great. i would say ds is somewhat better in those areas you describe, and i mostly see him in evenings after it has worn off so that might be a factor. thanks. 11-8-2022 7:02am
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          • maybe ask the doctor to try the extended release version 11-8-2022 7:04am
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  5. Special Needs This post has been disliked 4 times. showIt’s surprising to me that people subscribed to the Special Needs page don’t understand that overspending is definitely an issue for people with ADHD. This doesn’t mean that ONLY...(more) 11-7-2022 8:45am (17 replies)
    people with ADHD overspend. But if you google ADHD overspending you’ll see so many articles about the phenomenon. It’s both an impulse control thing and a self soothing behavior for some. Here is just one article about it but there are so many. https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/stop-spending-too-much-money/
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    • This post has been deleted. 11-7-2022 8:46am
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      • OP: I was surprised on the post about a kid with ADHD overspending, at the number of responses that were “this has nothing to do with ADHD.” That’s the kind of response I expect...(more) 11-7-2022 8:49am
        from toddler. This thread is usually a bit more supportive and yes, I would expect if the OP is raising a kid with ADHD and tells us that part of her child’s ADHD symptoms include overspending, the Special Needs board would either know about that or, if they know nothing about ADHD, would believe that this mother has done her research just as all of us have worked hard to understand our child’s special needs.
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        • The responses are likely from Toddler board moms- focused on blaming the kid for being irresponsible 11-7-2022 8:56am
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    • the thing is, so does depression, so does mania, so does irresponsibility. We are a nation of people who overspend and that's just not specific enough to ADHD to make it a...(more) 11-7-2022 8:47am
      symptom worth labeling. Sorry
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      • So, it's just a coincidence that the young woman is diagnosed with ADHD and has a serious spending problem? Couldn't we say that about many other issues like risk taking or...(more) 11-7-2022 8:51am
        impulse control disorders or common co-morbid disorders with ADHD?
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        • You don't know how to argue. The point is. It may be related to her ADHD and it may be related to her not knowing how to manage money. It may be related to a comorbid component...(more) 11-7-2022 8:54am
          of her ADHD. We don't know.
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          • Maybe her mother knows better than we do? 11-7-2022 8:57am
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            • The point is. It may be related to her ADHD and it may be related to her not knowing how to manage money. It may be related to a comorbid component of her ADHD. Take your guess,...(more) 11-7-2022 8:58am
              but it's just a guess
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              • It's a guess on OUR part because we don't know this young woman, but I trust the mother to know her- well 11-7-2022 9:00am
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        • ^symptom worth labeling 11-7-2022 8:57am
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      • Look at the research examining impulse control disorders and ADHD- absolutely can and is interrelated for some. Remember, there are different subtypes of ADHD, one of which has...(more) 11-7-2022 8:53am
        impulsive as a defining feature. Psychologist here
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        • the thing is, so does depression, so does mania, so does irresponsibility. We are a nation of people who overspend and that's just not specific enough to ADHD to make it a 11-7-2022 8:56am
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          • impulsive behavior is considered a symptom of ADHD unlike depression and mania- which may be co-morbid conditions. 11-7-2022 8:58am
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    • I think a lot of people here keep all boards open 11-7-2022 8:48am
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    • There are many different kinds of special needs. Having experience with some, doesn't make you an expecrt on all. 11-7-2022 8:50am
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    • ADHD is not being able to manage resources. That includes finances and time. 11-8-2022 6:29pm
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  6. Special Needs Anyone have a young adult child who is a disaster with money? Part of DD’s ADHD/Anxiety/EF disorder is that she is incapable of following a budget or keeping any money in savings....(more) 11-7-2022 8:17am (22 replies)
    She is 22 - college senior. Took a year off from school and only worked enough to barely cover her expenses. Could have worked a full time job but didn’t. When she DID work full time, she would get an $800 paycheck and spend $700 of it within 24 hours. She has an executive function coach who talks to her about budget. She logically knows what she needs to do but, in the moment, has yet to manage to say no and NOT spend on whatever is right in front of her. I. Don’t see this ever getting better and imagine her being in deep debt before she’s 30 but not sure what to do to keep that from happening.
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    • Sounds like Britney 11-7-2022 8:19am
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      • Sounds like Britney Spears. Put someone else in charge of her finances and she just gets an allowance. 11-7-2022 8:19am
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    • You cant. Sorry but itis true. She will either figure it out or she wont. Youve given her the supports but she needs to walk the walk 11-7-2022 8:19am
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    • She has to take a percent of her salary and put it in savings. Maybe you could help her for a bit. I have ADHD and am good at not spending too much but can't pay bills on time. I...(more) 11-7-2022 8:19am
      just accept this now. when younger got into trouble about it.
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      • I don't think out of control spending is an ADHD thing 11-7-2022 8:20am
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        • It can be 11-7-2022 8:21am
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          • Everything can be. That’s the problem 11-7-2022 8:56am
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            • this is not accurate 11-7-2022 9:39am
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        • It can be I suppose. Because overeating is for some people - like you make bad decisions. I never look at my bank account and go over it really, bad at bills... 11-7-2022 8:21am
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        • It's considered an impulse control behavior, so can indeed be part of ADHD 11-7-2022 8:25am
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          • Right. Every bad decision. Impulse control 11-7-2022 8:56am
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            • impulsiveness is a symptom of ADHD. Please see DSM-V. 11-7-2022 9:42am
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    • I do t agree with the practice of blaming every flaw on adhd. People are more than a dx. Some are good with money. Some are not. 11-7-2022 8:19am
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      • so helpful 11-7-2022 8:21am
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        • Np it might be. It might help if the problem was addressed appropriately 11-7-2022 8:56am
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          • no, it doesnt 11-7-2022 9:40am
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    • Direct Deposit into an account she can't touch like a mutual fund or some sort. A smaller portion into an account she can touch. You can do this. 11-7-2022 8:19am
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    • my very responsible neuro-typical friends who is now the mother of 3 adult children was, in her early 20s, up to her ears in credit card debt. It was like she had a master's...(more) 11-7-2022 8:20am
      degree but didn't understand how interest worked. Anyway, I just want you to know it's not only an adhd thing
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      • ^friend, not friends. Just one 11-7-2022 8:20am
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      • uh... so what? Regardless of what's causing the issue, the issue exists. NP 11-7-2022 8:22am
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    • She needs safeguards: automatically putting the money in savings, no credit card, a bank app on her phone she actually LOOKS AT, before buying things, do not log any passports...(more) 11-7-2022 8:23am
      onto computers for shopping sites, and make it all double verification
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    • Hopefully she will improve with time. I'd work on a deal in which you help her manage money for a while- so automatic deposit and then she gets a set allowance out of that for...(more) 11-7-2022 8:23am
      spending
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  7. Special Needs Ds has anxiety and we just started him on ADHD meds about a month ago. he is so good when he takes them but today, he forgot his medicine and he had such a bad day. Came home in...(more) 11-2-2022 5:35pm (6 replies)
    tears. Cried in school. He thought someone took a pic of him crying. This poor kid. I am so sad for him. I don't think any amount of therapy or medication will change him. I pray that things improve for him once he's out of hs. He is a junior right now. It's fucking excruciating.
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    • Does he have reminders? 11-2-2022 5:36pm
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      • yes. I have an alarm on my phone. Told him to take his meds twice. Then I went out to the car and he came running out. I just figured he had taken it since I told him twice. 11-2-2022 5:36pm
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    • be careful with the ADHD meds and anxiety, my Ds's made the anxiety worse. It's such a fucking hard road and a tighrope 11-2-2022 5:36pm
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      • I know. we held off until now. he's 17 and the Vyvanse has really made a difference for him. but the psychiatrist was hesitant for it for a long time. it seems to be really...(more) 11-2-2022 5:37pm
        helping
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    • seems like the meds help 11-2-2022 5:43pm
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      • yes, totally. I just felt so bad that he didn't take it. I realized it after I got home from errands. So half the day was gone by the time I saw it. Just made for a total shit...(more) 11-2-2022 5:44pm
        day.
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  8. Special Needs 14yo ds with ADHD really starting to push back on everything: OT and meds. He is anxious and his handwriting has always been awful. Going to get assistive tech referral but hie's...(more) 10-22-2022 8:04am (3 replies)
    resistant to that too. Doesn't want to be seen as different in any way. I know this is a tricky age and I've been trying to proceed lightly although I'm type A. Ex is not much help. He was supposed to bring up therapy for anxiety and/or upping exercise so that we don't have to up meds which will up anxiety and most likely result in ds going on an ssri too. Any tips or suggestions for handling with age and talk appreciated.
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    • oh that is hard. does he know any other kids with similar issues? it felt like a third of my kids' frined were on meds for something 10-22-2022 8:07am
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    • Honestly up the meds and give the kid an ssri. It may be what he needs right now and it won’t be forever 10-22-2022 8:17am
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    • Does he really need OT? 10-26-2022 4:11pm
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  9. Special Needs College freshman ds has adhd and anxiety. Has been off meds for a couple of years because the one he was on was causing major anxiety spikes and depression. He is asking now to go...(more) 10-15-2022 7:40am (21 replies)
    Back on. Anyone have any thoughts? He was on Focalin for a long time.
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    • This post has been deleted. 10-15-2022 7:42am
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    • get him back on, don't give it another thought 10-15-2022 7:43am
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      • He won’t go back on the Focalin. Trying to see if there is anithwr 10-15-2022 7:43am
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        • This post has been deleted. 10-15-2022 7:44am
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        • does he still talk/see his dr? what about something like Wellbutrin? 10-15-2022 7:44am
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          • He is seeing him in December. 10-15-2022 7:45am
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    • This post has been deleted. 10-15-2022 7:43am
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      • Yes. For him. 10-15-2022 7:44am
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        • This post has been deleted. 10-15-2022 7:45am
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    • Def try new meds. Don’t give up. He is smart that he recognizes that he needs the help. 10-15-2022 7:44am
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    • This is a qt for psychiatrist who rx the focal in. 10-15-2022 7:44am
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      • This post has been deleted. 10-15-2022 7:45am
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      • Vynanse is extended release for a smoother effect. That might be the next step 10-15-2022 7:45am
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    • both my dc hated Focalin and said it made them feel very gloomy. both had success with adderall 10-15-2022 7:54am
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      • ^they are now 22 & 24 and no longer take it even though 24 dd is in grad school. she has learned to manage. really hated the meds 10-15-2022 7:54am
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        • Adderall is in short supply. I have POA and permission to talk to his doctor so I am going to call on Monday 10-15-2022 7:56am
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    • It is really great he realizes he needs this early on. I went through this with college ds. In addition to the meds (mine took concerta, with a ritalin booster), look into an exec...(more) 10-15-2022 8:04am
      function tutor ASAP. Also, it is very tough for adhd kids in college to manage the meds because they affect appetite and sleep--two areas where most college kids aren't stable anyway (they don't get enough sleep, and/or it's irregular; same with meals). It's a vicious cycle for ADHD students. A check-in with a weekly therapist who specializes in ADHD can be very helpful to establish good habits. What ADHD students have to learn is they can't go about their lives like neurotypical college students and still be successful. That can be a very difficult lesson to learn. It's one of the reasons that dropout rates are so high for adhd students.
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      • He has an EF coach now, I want him to go to the academic success center on campus, and he has disability services and accommodations now (didn’t start with them long story). My...(more) 10-15-2022 8:12am
        So we are on a less rocky path. He is at a school where there are lots of kids like him so there are the supports if he can bring himself to use them
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    • My 2 add kids were/are on focalin. It does make their anxiety worse. So another med for that problem. One went off 10-15-2022 8:13am
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      • ^meds herself freshman year, and did fine. Current college soph still takes both, when she forgets the focalin, it’s very obvious. 10-15-2022 8:16am
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  10. Special Needs What is another form of disclipine at school for adhd kid instead of taking away recess? 10-14-2022 8:16pm (14 replies)
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    • that is a terrible punishment for any kid. 10-14-2022 8:17pm
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      • Perhaps for the majority of kids, but not all. I recall feeling only lukewarm about recess when I was in middle school. It would not have been a hardship for me to miss it,...(more) 10-19-2022 12:45pm
        particularly in cold weather and say, sit inside and read a novel instead. Also, for kids who are socially ostracized or bullied, I assume recess is dreaded. So don't generalize that "all" would be so unhappy to miss it.
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    • Discipline is teaching, not punishing. 10-14-2022 8:18pm
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      • agree, what is a good example of a different form to tell teachers 10-14-2022 8:20pm
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        • Conversation not control. 10-14-2022 8:23pm
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    • what's the issue? 10-14-2022 8:22pm
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      • child wasn't listening. punished via recess taken away...what is another form of reasonable disclipline? 10-14-2022 8:33pm
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    • For my ASD kid just being the last to leave for lunch, recess or dismissal is a big punishment w/o really taking anything away 10-14-2022 10:13pm
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    • It's illegal for schools to take away recess. Remind them they could lose USDA funding over that. 10-16-2022 5:28pm
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    • I’m a special ed elementary teacher and, I will tell you this, we need SOMETHING to hold over students’ heads. My solution was to take the FREE time part of recess away. So they’d...(more) 10-17-2022 7:50pm
      Have to walk/run on the track a certain number of laps (or for a certain amt of time) before they could join their peers. Then, I was told that I wasn’t allowed to make exercise a consequence. But my kids NEED to move! I fully get that students need recess but they don’t necessarily deserve social time (though my students need to practice that too.) I agree with the mom who says often making them the last to line up feels huge. I spend a lot of time feeling completely helpless bc natural consequences are no allowed and positive behavior strategies don’t work for all kids (especially the kids whose parents give them anything they want - including the prize they’re working for in my room.)
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  11. Special Needs Holy shit, Vyvanse is working for my anxious ds. I have been telling the Psychiatrist that I thought ds needed ADHD meds for years. He finally gave it to him and it's helping him...(more) 10-11-2022 2:42pm (16 replies)
    so much. He can focus and feels overall better about himself at school. it's been about 2 weeks now. :)
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    • Yay! I'm genuinely, oddly delighted to read this from a anonymous internet stranger. Hope things continue on this positive trend. 10-11-2022 2:43pm
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      • awww thanks :))) 10-11-2022 2:43pm
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    • This post has been disliked 5 times. showLOL it would help ANYONE, it is speed FFS 10-11-2022 2:43pm
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      • Well he's had a really fucking hard time, so I'm thanking god for it 10-11-2022 2:44pm
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        • I would just try easier classes and CBT therapy for organizational skill first 10-11-2022 2:44pm
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          • we've tried a number of things. the kid is a junior in HS and has struggled like you cannot imagine. I am so happy the Vyvanse is helping. let me enjoy it please. I don't get a...(more) 10-11-2022 2:45pm
            lot of these happy posts.
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            • This post has been deleted. 10-11-2022 2:50pm
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          • This post has been deleted. 10-11-2022 2:46pm
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            • this IS what a good doctor would recommend, first at least 10-11-2022 2:46pm
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              • oh you think we haven't tried fucking everything?? the kid is 17 yrs old. we've been around the mulberry bush a few fucking times. thanks for your shitty input. move on now. 10-11-2022 2:47pm
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              • This post has been deleted. 10-11-2022 2:51pm
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      • CHECK YOUR BOARD STAMP - this is a special needs post. Don't be an asshole 10-11-2022 2:53pm
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    • Thank you, most people don't talk about how life changing medication can be 10-11-2022 2:47pm
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    • yay!!!! 10-11-2022 2:51pm
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    • so happy for you and your son. Meds can be life changing. I know this is NOT the same thing but my niece felt like her life turned around after she went on accutane as a...(more) 10-11-2022 2:54pm
      sophomore. her acne was heartbreaking and she was so depressed about it. Didn't get involved with anything. Now she is like a new person. And you cannot imagine the number of people telling my SIL that under no circumstances should she try this miracle drug.
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      • thank you, yes, amazing how the right drug can make such an enormous difference in someone's life!! I wouldn't say ds is like a new person, but he is definitely feeling much...(more) 10-11-2022 4:55pm
        better about himself! :)
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  12. Special Needs How the hell do I even begin to find a good psychiatrist for young adult son in NYC? I could start with insurance plan, but it feels so anonymous! Anxiety is primary issue, along...(more) 10-11-2022 1:32pm (9 replies)
    with ADHD, in case anyone has a recommendation. We have Aetna, if (fingers crossed) anyone by some miracle knows a great on who's in network. TIA
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    • you want a psych or a therapist? 10-11-2022 1:33pm
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      • Psychiatrist -- need to tune up meds, get some good assessment 10-11-2022 1:37pm
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    • out of network but we love her: miriam bensimhon, (212) 683-3683 10-11-2022 1:34pm
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      • Thanks - will keep as a back up! 10-11-2022 1:37pm
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    • how old? call pediatrician, and if you know anyone in that field call them and ask for references. I do know that therapists who take new patients are really hard to find these...(more) 10-11-2022 1:35pm
      days.
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      • especially in network. what are your benefits? just submit the claim. 10-11-2022 1:36pm
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        • No out of network benefits. That's exactly why it feels so hopeless to find someone good via insurance. He's 19: could absolutely see an adult Psychiatrist. Very good at...(more) 10-11-2022 1:38pm
          explaining his symptoms, etc
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    • We live in N J and have Aetna but Dh works in NYC and we use Portrait Health Center. 10-11-2022 1:40pm
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      • Thanks so much. That seems like it could be a good option once he was on a maintenance regimen, but I'm hoping for a psychiatrist who can do a really good assessment and be sure...(more) 10-11-2022 1:55pm
        he's medicated optimally first.
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  13. Special Needs My 16 year old son (Autism/ADHD) have gotten verbally abusive when things don't go his way. Telling me he hates me, mocking me, telling me doesn't want me to 'mother' him anymore....(more) 10-7-2022 5:00pm (5 replies)
    A few sessions with the psychologist, and me keeping calm is finally paying off. My message to him was that he could hate me, but I still loved him. He didn't want me to mother him, but I still care. And he has the right to feel anger, but not the right to be abusive. This morning he almost he went into a fit, stopped himself, looked me in the eyes, and bowed his head down. While this has been very stressful, I'm glad he's showing control and somehow he understands how words hurt.
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    • Great progress. Sending you love! I know how hard it is. I have ds with asd/adhd too 10-7-2022 5:02pm
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      • ^ it's so hard to remain calm in thise situations. You're doing great. 10-7-2022 5:03pm
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    • wow. that is wonderful progress. kudos to you for staying calm. you are admirable. 10-7-2022 5:14pm
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      • not easy 10-7-2022 5:18pm
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        • that is why i think you deserve a lot of credit. 10-7-2022 5:19pm
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  14. Special Needs Ds has very bad anxiety. Has for years. We have done therapy, meds, changed meds, quit therapy, back in therapy. Nothing ever seems to make it that much better. I'm really...(more) 9-27-2022 2:16pm (16 replies)
    starting to think he has ADHD and that's one of the reasons he struggles like he does, especially with school. He's smart enough to compensate, but yet, focus is very hard for him, as well as just not feeling super motivated. I have tried to talk to the Psychiatrist about him having ADHD and maybe trying meds but he always says, no, that he really wants to get the Anxiety component under control until we go that route. Well fuck, the poor kid is now a Junior in HS and life is fucking hard for him. He struggles every single day in so many ways. Wwyd?
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    • i could have written this post. 9-27-2022 2:17pm
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      • Ugh, really? I'm sorry for you, too. Fucking sucks, doesn't it? 9-27-2022 2:17pm
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    • Change psychiatrists. Anxiety and ADHD are closely tied 9-27-2022 2:17pm
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      • The thing is, I LOVE this guy. he is really good, but in this particular area, not so good. I'm not sure why he is so reticent to try the ADHD meds for ds. My other ds is on...(more) 9-27-2022 2:19pm
        Vyvyanse and does so well on it. He's the prescribing doc and knows both of them so well. And it's genetic, so it would make sense that both brothers have similar issues.
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    • Get a second opinion from another psychiatrist 9-27-2022 2:18pm
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    • Change. Had the same issue and changed psychs and Dr put dc on adhd meds. Dc was 1q at the time and said it was the first time he ever felt comfortable in his own skin 9-27-2022 2:19pm
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      • how old was ds when he finally got the ADHD meds? 9-27-2022 2:20pm
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        • 11. He’s 24 now. Still on them 9-27-2022 2:22pm
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          • OP: My other ds is on them, too and they are the difference between a C student and an A student for him. He's thriving and in honors classes at a rigorous HS. My other ds is just...(more) 9-27-2022 2:24pm
            floundering here. I want to cry for him (when he's not crying, which he does a lot, too). it's just awful
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            • So difficult. Definitely try changing doctors. I mean you know your kid best and if you feel like adhd is the issue then worth a try. I mean it’s on and out of his system. It’s...(more) 9-27-2022 2:26pm
              not like other meds that you need time
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              • exactly. I have been so tempted more than once to give him my other dc's meds just to see how it went but I would feel terrible if he had some kind of adverse reaction bc of me. I...(more) 9-27-2022 2:28pm
                want the doctor to give me the go. I actually just texted him and asked for an appointment for just him and me to discuss ds and his lack of focus. I hope he responds soon.
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                • Sounds like I good plan. Just push for it and see. 9-27-2022 2:31pm
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                  • ok, so damn, he just responded and I am meeting with him tomorrow at 10:30! I hope he will finally just follow my instincts with this. he's usually pretty good about listening to...(more) 9-27-2022 2:33pm
                    me and I think he worries that ADHD meds could cause ds some dark moods, but his moods are not good bc he is so stressed by school, so this could be the missing puzzle piece. thanks for listening :)
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                    • Good luck. Nice that he’s so responsive! 9-27-2022 2:35pm
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                      • thank you, let's hope he's as responsive this time about trying the meds for ds!! 🤞🏻 9-27-2022 2:43pm
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    • My guess he is wants to get the anxiety under control bc adhd meds can make it worse. There is an adhd drug called cotempla that is extremely slow release and doesn't spike...(more) 9-28-2022 6:41am
      anxiety. It is really expensive (but there are often coupons for $50 a month) Maybe say you have done some research and found it and inquire? Also, another important consideration is getting the anxiety under control before he leaves for college so this is the time to really get to the bottom of it. I have a kid who we never really found the culprit -- adhd vs. anxiety so he is on a low dose of anxiety meds. Took cotempla for years and now able to handle regular concerta. He has also done a ton of work on building resilience in himself which has made all the difference for him. I can tell you that 16 to 18 was a world of growth and progress. Good luck to you and your son!
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  15. Special Needs Applying to colleges with my dc who has epilepsy and ADHD is so stressful. I am worried he wont get in anywhere 9-21-2022 6:52pm (9 replies)
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    • of course he will!! and he will have a great experience. there are numerous schools for every student 9-21-2022 6:54pm
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    • There are 4.000 colleges 9-21-2022 6:54pm
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    • you kid will get in. every pot has a lid 9-21-2022 6:55pm
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      • thank you. Everything has been such a struggle 9-21-2022 6:57pm
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    • how does epilepsy impact his college choices? is he a good student? 9-21-2022 6:57pm
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      • not really. He has a 3.1 and really works hard. We are not sure if his mini seizure activity is affecting memory/learning 9-21-2022 6:58pm
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        • ah. 9-21-2022 7:00pm
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          • ^^there is definitely a college for him. being a hard worker is so important. I have a young teen with adhd. I could not say he was a hard worker. still waiting for that to...(more) 9-21-2022 7:01pm
            click
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  16. Special Needs My son with ADHD just started 10th grade and is already missing homework assignments etc. Every year I hope we can set refresh for a new school year and things will be different....(more) 9-21-2022 5:24pm (4 replies)
    He says I need to stop trying to manage him and he will manage himself. Spoiler alert: he is not managing himself. It's so hard to sit here and watch him fuck things up. Any advice? He's on meds and has a therapist.
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    • what advice has the therapist given. hopefully things would be in place before school 9-21-2022 5:39pm
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    • He is managing himself just not the way you'd like 9-21-2022 5:43pm
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    • Do not listen. My youngest has ADHD and I helped him stay organized. You also can't really let things go off the rails in 10th they need the grades/transcripts. I'm not saying do...(more) 9-21-2022 5:44pm
      the work but help teach. He can write down all his homework on one page then check it off, do in same order each night: math, science, English, history -or whatever works best for him. Make sure he has had food. Tell him to write down when tests are then teach him how to make study sheets, etc... 99% is about organization and it will give him confidence.
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    • Ditto for my 10th grade DS with ADHD. UGH! 9-21-2022 5:47pm
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  17. Special Needs Teen with reading issues described it to me like this: "I just see individual words and hear loud sounds". does this sound familiar to you? She started having significant...(more) 9-21-2022 10:24am (23 replies)
    reading issues a few years ago, refused help from counselors, etc. Now seems to actually want to figure out what's happening. Had eval -- anxiety, ADHD inattentive type, mild, specific learning disorder in reading. All talk from psych and school has been around accommodations, but I'd love to find someone who understands these issues and can teach techniques to improve reading. What should I look for?
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    • How old? 9-21-2022 10:25am
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      • 15. I didn't realize until a couple years ago that she wasn't just bored/choosing not to read. 9-21-2022 10:26am
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        • I used an amazing reading tutor for my dd but I think she retired. You dd definitely needs a tutor. Where do you live? If in nyc or Westchester, call Windward and see if any of...(more) 9-21-2022 10:39am
          their teachers do private tutoring
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          • ^^^ in case she isn’t retired, her name is Evelyn Rubin. She used to be in Riverdale but now she is in NJ. Englewood, I think. And if she is retired, she might have...(more) 9-21-2022 10:41am
            recommendations.
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            • thank you, I'm on the west coast up early 9-21-2022 10:46am
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    • does she read on her own for pleasure? Meaning does she find any pleasure in the stories, even if it's hard to get through a book, or is she turned off to reading? 9-21-2022 10:25am
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    • Why? Find what works. Don’t try to fit square peg in round hole 9-21-2022 10:32am
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      • yes, I'm trying to "find what works" -- which would be far faster with someone who knows what they're dealing with 9-21-2022 10:33am
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    • I went down a rabbit hole, because I knew I'd seen something about this! Here's a link to an article on 'bionic reading' which everyone on ADHD social media was going bananas...(more) 9-21-2022 10:39am
      • ^^^and here's the actual "bionic reading" site, looks like a way of presenting/highlighting text that makes it easier for neurodivergent to process...(more) 9-21-2022 10:41am
        • I could kiss you, thanks! 9-21-2022 10:44am
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          • or - Sure! I remembered thinking it was really interesting. Hope it helps! 9-21-2022 10:45am
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          • ^^I wonder how this can work with printed material? 9-21-2022 10:45am
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            • or - right? That was my question as well. I haven't read into it (my own ADHD kid has different challenges) but wonder if it could included in an IEP that printed materials needed...(more) 9-21-2022 10:46am
              to have whatever highlighting etc this includings
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  18. Special Needs Anyone work with an ADHD coach to assist with executive functioning and social skills (for rejection sensitivity dysphoria)? Any recs? 9-19-2022 8:30am (4 replies)
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    • rejection sensitivity dysphoria (didn't know that was a term!) seems to fall more under a therapist role 9-19-2022 8:32am
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      • Therapy hasn't been helpful (tried for years before we knew it was a thing). We just started Guanfacine which I hope will help. I'm hoping that a combo of meds and strategies will...(more) 9-19-2022 8:36am
        be the magic bullet for my kid. He's really suffering
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    • College dd has an excellent ADHD coach but he is more time management and check in regarding meds and exercise, etc. She also has a psych - I hope they discuss the other stuff -...(more) 9-19-2022 8:34am
      dd DEFINITELY experiences the rejection sensitive dysphoria as well as emotional flooding
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      • what kind of meds does your DD take? How's she doing? 9-19-2022 8:37am
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  19. Special Needs Anyone's child take guanfacine for ADHD? Help? 9-15-2022 9:07am (4 replies)
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    • Only looked into it and always heard it makes them hungry and sleepy and to balance with a stimulant. Why are you interested? 9-15-2022 9:08am
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      • I hadn't heard of the hunger but the ritalin is killing his appetite and he's a rail. We are exploring adding it in the evenings to help with rejection sensitivity dysphora 9-15-2022 9:10am
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    • what do you want help with? 9-15-2022 9:10am
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      • Sorry, poorly worded. Wondering if it helped 9-15-2022 10:02am
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  20. Special Needs Anyone know of a good ADHD coach for parents? 9-14-2022 9:53pm (1 reply)
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    • Where are you? 9-14-2022 9:58pm
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  21. Special Needs Thx to your help, teacher changed high stool seat to regular seat for child w/disability BUT must use high stool high table for group math time daily. Child has dyscalculia+adhd...(more) 9-14-2022 8:10pm (2 replies)
    this is not ok. Have upcoming 504 meeting. 504 coordinator said 504 has nothing to do with seating!!! What can i do?
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    • I found they never really followed the plan. But a seat is so clear. Send an email (it’s in writing) 9-14-2022 8:11pm
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    • Get a doctor's note addressing the seating and have it added to the 504. If dc has dyscalculia he would qualify fir an IEP. 9-14-2022 9:22pm
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  22. Special Needs Need a specialist that works with ADHD kids for behavioral issues. Son is 12, would need someone who can workremltely with him and us 9-12-2022 9:59am (13 replies)
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    • ^^remotely 9-12-2022 10:00am
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    • where are you located? 9-12-2022 10:00am
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      • Westchester 9-12-2022 10:01am
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        • We go to Life In Sight Center in Tenefly, NJ. 9-12-2022 10:02am
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    • ^^transitions are a bitch 9-12-2022 10:01am
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    • I was a SN teacher. what are your needs? 9-12-2022 10:02am
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      • Mornings and night when meds aren’t working he is very difficult, hard to calm down, lots of defiance, etc etc 9-12-2022 10:03am
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        • got it. are there any rituals, calendars, schedules that he can see & follow. children at those times really require consistency. he need to know what is to come 9-12-2022 10:05am
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          • I am happy to help, speak with you .. 9-12-2022 10:07am
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            • Would love that 9-12-2022 10:16am
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              • okay .....(more) 9-12-2022 10:17am
                I will set up a gmail account for us & put it on here in 10 mins
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                • here it is .....(more) 9-12-2022 10:21am
                  adhdhelp@gmail.com. hope to hear from you soon!
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          • Yes, all of that! 9-12-2022 10:16am
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  23. Special Needs 16yo dd seems to be dropping friends, won’t discuss with me. Has deleted all friends from already minimal IG posts. Noticed was trying to befriend a couple people over the summer...(more) 9-4-2022 12:10pm (46 replies)
    with limited success. I’ve casually asked about it, get little more than shrugs. WWYD, if anything? She had anxiety, diagnosed ADHD that seems more like ASD.
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    • rising junior? 9-4-2022 12:11pm
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      • Yes, these are friends she’s known since elementary 9-4-2022 12:12pm
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        • ok. does she have interests or clubs at school? 9-4-2022 12:13pm
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          • Not really at school, one sport outside school, but she doesn’t see those kids outside of the sport 9-4-2022 12:15pm
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            • suggest getting into something at school to connect with new people. 9-4-2022 12:16pm
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              • Yes, I do this often. I just get “ugh”. 9-4-2022 12:18pm
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                • Ok, you can't force her. Just help guide her toward her interests. 9-4-2022 12:18pm
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                  • I’m wondering also if it’s too late to change schools. She isn’t thriving, I’ve been struggling to get her an IEP, but didn’t want to take her away from friends. 9-4-2022 12:23pm
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                    • tough to get an IEP at that age, unless she's failing. Is she interested in a different school? 9-4-2022 12:25pm
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                      • Not interested in another school or any school. Just goes because it’s mandatory. Started down IEP path in 8th then Covid hit, everything was nuts for freshman year, remote. 9-4-2022 12:27pm
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                        • yeah, I get it. it's been a tough slog for these kids. sounds like her grades are OK? 9-4-2022 12:28pm
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                          • Teachers seem to be asking very little if her when she’s struggling in their class so yeah 9-4-2022 12:30pm
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                            • are you saying that the courses are not challenging? 9-4-2022 12:32pm
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                              • The courses are challenging for the kids who step up to it. 9-4-2022 12:34pm
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                                • ok, but your dd is doing well academically? 9-4-2022 12:35pm
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                                  • She does well in the things she likes and is passed along in the things she doesnt 9-4-2022 12:36pm
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                                    • ok, that sounds fine. If you suspect ASD, she's juggling a lot emotionally. 9-4-2022 12:36pm
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                                • ^^very few are like I had — quizzes, midterm, final, maybe an essay or two 9-4-2022 12:35pm
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                                  • ok, not sure what you're getting at here? 9-4-2022 12:35pm
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                                    • Honestly it confuses me too. There are a lot of group projects that I know she doesn’t contribute to but gets the grade the group gets 9-4-2022 12:37pm
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                                      • is this a project based school? 9-4-2022 12:38pm
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                                        • Some classes use that model 9-4-2022 12:39pm
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                                          • does your dd have any interests as far as higher ed? 9-4-2022 12:40pm
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                                            • Only in that you need college to get a good job. But really not motivated and I’d guess scared if maybe leaving home 9-4-2022 12:42pm
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                                              • ^^she knows we’re fine with CC 9-4-2022 12:43pm
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                                                • well, it sounds like what she's doing in HS is enough to get her through to graduation. sometimes, that's as good as it gets. 9-4-2022 12:44pm
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                                                  • I think she’ll go to CC but don’t want her to limit herself 9-4-2022 12:47pm
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                                                    • CC doesn't have to be limiting. Those credits can transfer. And if she gets an AA initially, no one can deny the credits. It can provide a great basis. 9-4-2022 12:49pm
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                                                      • Thanks, I know that’s true and I have a lot of work to do to not feel disappointed (or show it) 9-4-2022 12:51pm
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                                                        • My older son has pretty severe ADHD. Very high IQ, but has all these stumbling blocks. When he was 22, and his friends were graduating from college & he wasn't, I finally had...(more) 9-4-2022 12:52pm
                                                          gotten to a place where I was proud of his friends and happy for them, and not feeling that [ugh] feeling. I'm proud of my ds for what he's figured out at this point, and not feeling like he isn't enough. I hope you get there, and that your dd finds her way.
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                                                          • Thank you so much. I’m tearing up. Can you tell me what resources have been most helpful for both of you? DD also 2E 9-4-2022 12:55pm
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                                                            • Well, I didn't do this w/my older ds and wish I had. I did it w/my younger (who has mild ADHD) and it made a MASSIVE difference and got him really engaged in his college search. I...(more) 9-4-2022 12:57pm
                                                              sent him for aptitude testing at this place. It was empowering, and they suggested employment ideas he (and I!) had never heard of. One caught his eye. www.jocrf.org
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                                                              • ^mostly what helped was just being patient while he sorted things out, although it was honestly terrifying. And having friends who were going through struggles with their young...(more) 9-4-2022 12:58pm
                                                                adult children (even if they weren't the same struggles) was helpful. Just to see that not everyone has these glorious tales of driven kids who do exciting things. It's OK to have a quieter life. We don't all have to live up to our IQx.
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                                                                • I adore you. Thank you so much. I share so little of this IRL. 9-4-2022 1:02pm
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                                                                  • I get it. It's hard. The more I talk with people, though--they more I realize that everyone has these quiet struggles. They just don't open up and expect us all to be living our...(more) 9-4-2022 1:03pm
                                                                    best Instagram lives.
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    • what are her issues? not sure you can do much right now except be supportive and listen 9-4-2022 12:13pm
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      • She had anxiety, diagnosed ADHD that seems more like ASD. 9-4-2022 12:17pm
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        • that sounds hard, I'm sorry. my friend's dd is similar, and I think she doesn't like to admit she has "issues" so is resistant to drugs, therapy etc 9-4-2022 12:22pm
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          • She’ll take meds. Zoloft has been helpful, ADD drugs haven’t 9-4-2022 12:24pm
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            • ah good. it's hard, just be supportive while maintaining boundaries 9-4-2022 12:25pm
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              • Talk to me about boundaries. I feel like I’ve lost the sense of what’s appropriate at this age 9-4-2022 12:31pm
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    • Does she have a therapist 9-4-2022 12:14pm
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      • Refuses therapy, I and dh offer/suggest often, and she knows we’re both in therapy 9-4-2022 12:16pm
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    • Does she WANT friends? Yours sounds very much like mine. I realized she doesn’t want friends as much as I want her to have friends. She like her ffriens and social engagements to...(more) 9-4-2022 2:01pm
      a certain degree, and then needs a lot of down time/alone time. I think her lonliness is a projection of mine on to her, iykwim
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      • If you're still watching, I think so but on her terms. 1-1, doing things like going to the mall and movies rather than thrifting and volunteering like her soon to be ex friends...(more) 9-4-2022 3:08pm
        do. She's quite happy to be alone with her Sims and her IG and TikTok "friends".
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        • Maybe you should let her just be for a while. 9-4-2022 9:05pm
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  24. Special Needs What can you do for 16yo dd with ADHD, anxiety, possible ASD who makes very shallow friendships, will drop friends at the first sign of drama or difficult emotions? She’s very...(more) 9-3-2022 10:24am (6 replies)
    Alone but not seemingly lonely (texts people).
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    • Just teach her directly the skills needed 9-3-2022 10:26am
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      • Other than modeling that, are there options? She fiesta see a problem, lashes out if I suggest it’s a problem. Refuses therapy 9-3-2022 10:27am
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        • If she doesn’t see the problem she won’t apply what you teach. Is she unhappy? Or you? 9-3-2022 10:30am
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          • She’s very hard to read. She’ll say she wishes she could be doing certain things with a friend, like if we’re on vacation. She seems to only want to connect with people who are...(more) 9-3-2022 10:35am
            into the same things as her and actively rejects people who aren’t. Like she’ll talk about how she hates dog people because she’s a cat person
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            • She’s concrete - sounds like my ds with autism. It’s maddening 9-3-2022 10:51am
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              • Yes but didn’t get that diagnosis as I’d expected. So how to handle? Friends are baffled by her and they drop her. 9-3-2022 10:56am
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  25. Special Needs Someone posted a term I wasn't familiar w on Toddler yesterday and I looked it up and it fits ADHD kid: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphora. Anyone have any experience with this? I've...(more) 8-29-2022 7:09am (4 replies)
    always said my DS felt his feelings more intensely than others and it could change on a dime. Explains his social difficulties. And he had a massive setback in June when he found out a girl he liked was dating someone else....such an over the top reaction. I read there are meds that can help and I am wondering if anyone has dealt with this condition and treated it with medicine. Psychotherapy is not supposed to be helpful (and hasn't helped significantly in the past)
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    • Yes, when I discovered the term and read about it I brought it up to my dd’s psychiatrist. I might have been surprised and happy to “discover” the label that fit my dd to a T, but...(more) 8-29-2022 7:16am
      The dr wasnt. She felt that yes, that is certainly a large part of dd’s overall social anxiety disorder. Nothing has really helped, not 9 years of meds and therapy. She’s in college and struggles w everything.
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      • I'm so sorry to hear of this. Must be hard for both of you. 8-29-2022 8:28am
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        • ^what meds did you try? 8-29-2022 8:30am
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    • These over the top reactions are substantially genetic and brain-based. Also found in lifelong personality disorders. 8-29-2022 7:33am
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