Search Results for "adhd"

  1. Special Needs ADHD: how do you handle your adhd teen/tween interactions with peers?...(more) 54 min ago (13 replies)
    i have a 12yo ds who gets a fair amount of negative reinforcement from peers and even cousins. my MO has been to cut off the interaction and maybe even total contact if i feel a certain kid gives too much negative reinforcement (e.g. you're annoying, go away). Sometimes I intervene to ds's behalf. Or is better to let him sort it out himself? His ADHD makes it difficult for him to figure out what he's doing wrong. He doesn't even get that he's being rejected until the 5th or 6th or 12th time sometimes when he's in his hyperactive/euphoria state.
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    • negative reinforcement would mean it encourages him to engage in more of the behavior. Is that what you mean? 52 min ago
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      • - no subject -...(more) 47 min ago
        No, I mean they provide negative feedback to his behavior such that it damages his self-esteem.
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        • OK, does he become upset? Is there a way to reframe what the peer is saying so it's more helpful? 45 min ago
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          • you mean reframe it for ds? or ask the other child to put it more kindly? 42 min ago
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    • As long as they arent mean to him, I think negative feedback can be helpful. I might say something like "Tell John what exactly he's doing that's bothering you" or prompt ds...(more) 46 min ago
      "John, Max just said that's annoying him. That means stop xyz"
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      • right. that sounds like a good strategy. i'm so sensitive to kids being mean to him,...(more) 41 min ago
        i think i sometimes overreact.
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    • I’m usually not aware - it happens at school. But he’s been told - stop following me - you’re annoying - nobody likes you He’s in high school. Small private. It’s ama...(more) 41 min ago
      Boys are so direct and mean. And I think he misses social cues and doesn’t know when to be quiet and stay away. I don’t know how to help but he goes to therapy. And he needs to be more resilient but it’s hard
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      • So sad, I hear you. I have the same the thing. DS is at a small all-boys private. I haven't...(more) 38 min ago
        heard that it's quite that bad but then I don't know iif ds or anyone else would tell me that this was happening. I just know he's lonely and he pretty much gets ignored by 90% of the kids.
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        • Good luck it’s hard. Yes mine struggles socially. 37 min ago
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      • Does your ds have any friends? Mine is having a hard time with that. Also, what sort of...(more) 37 min ago
        therapy does your ds go to? Can you recommend someone in manhattan?
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        • A therapist who specializes in anxiety. Ds has GAD and adhd inattentive. He has friends to sit with at lunch (but had issues this year) but zero social life outside of school. But...(more) 34 min ago
          It’s hard bc everyone lives far away bc school is in another town we aren’t in nyc.
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    • he needs medication. btdt 37 min ago
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      • He is medicated during school but it also makes him a bit zombified so not as fun as usual. 36 min ago
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  2. Special Needs As a parent without ADHD, how do you manage to stay calm and understanding of your child w/ ADHD? I'm just so exhausted dealing with my dd's issues: social problems, missing...(more) 20 hr 25 min ago (14 replies)
    assignments, lying, lack of responsibility. Yes, she's in therapy, yes, she's on medication, yes, she has tutors and extra help at school...
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    • There are certain things that are not ok, like lying. I think holding her accountable and having consequences for that kind of behavior is perfectly acceptable. Otherwise, I think...(more) 20 hr 22 min ago
      it's really important to have friends and/or an outlet (support group?) where you can talk to other moms who get it.
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      • ^and those consequences can include you being mad! 20 hr 21 min ago
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        • ^and also, just recognize that it's normal to have all the feelings you are having. You're not supposed to be a robot. It is a long, hard slog. Try if you can to separate the...(more) 20 hr 16 min ago
          person from the diagnosis. It's not easy.
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      • But, lying is extremely common among kids w adhd. Because of the shame and impulsive behavior, and the deficits about thinking a few steps ahead. They did something really dumb...(more) 19 hr 39 min ago
        and embarrassing and they dont know why, in hindsight, so when questioned, the immediate impulse is: lie! Face consequences later, just lie now!
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        • Yes. I have a child with ADHD. Still, in the real world, regardless of the origin of the behavior, lying is not ok and has consequences. 19 hr 34 min ago
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          • Yes, I am 19 hr 31 min ago
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            • Not advocating no consequences ever, but understanding where the truly stupid, ridiculous lies are coming from helps. As well as it not being necessary to punish every one of...(more) 19 hr 28 min ago
              them. So personally, I cant say “I wont tolerate lying from my kids” because that isnt something I can control. I only manage as best I can.
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              • Yes totally. It helps in terms of not being able to take it personally and understand the pathology behind it. 19 hr 27 min ago
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        • np - right but that is something you have to work on. it's frequent but you can't let it slide. 18 hr 56 min ago
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    • It’s hard. I actually set randon reminders for myself like “delayed emotional 20 hr 15 min ago
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      • ^development! 20 hr 14 min ago
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    • I feel awful about our relationship but I don't know how to deal with her 20 hr 13 min ago
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      • You're not supposed to know. Are you getting any support? 19 hr 33 min ago
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  3. Special Needs DD was diagnosed with ADHD roughly 5 years ago. However, her behavior makes me think it might be something more serious, like BPD, etc. Has this every happened to anyone? Got...(more) 21 hr 40 min ago (11 replies)
    an ADHD diagnosis only to learn it's really much more?
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    • You can have both, what is going on? 21 hr 38 min ago
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    • It’s common to have comorbid disorders w adhd. Has the dr never mentioned that? Anxiety is the most common, and personality disorders arent that common 21 hr 37 min ago
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    • How was the diagnosis done? Full neuropsych workup, or Vanderbilt only? 21 hr 37 min ago
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    • sorry. what is going on? 21 hr 37 min ago
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      • ^and how old? 21 hr 36 min ago
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    • Bipolar disorder, or borderline personality? 21 hr 36 min ago
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    • I’d look into pans. Research is showing many of these issues are actually due to infections. 21 hr 33 min ago
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    • DD has had three neuro/psychs. First said ADHD and ODD. The two after that did not say ODD. I understand that ADHD kids are impulsive, but mine is an extreme. She simply does...(more) 21 hr 23 min ago
      not understand the word NO. You can lock eyes. Tell her not to do something and she'll continue on and on and on. She also shows no empathy whatsoever, which is every concerning. I realize some of these ADHD, but again her behavior is very extreme and out of control. BTW.....she's 14.
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      • Sorry. I think part of it is the age. My 14 yo DS with GAD can be a fucking horror show 21 hr 15 min ago
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        • That describes my daughter. You'll ask her to do something and she'll look at you blankly like some Twilight Zone character. What is GAD? 18 hr 15 min ago
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    • ADHD and Anxiety that looked like ODD 18 hr 14 min ago
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  4. Special Needs Hit a low last night. Junior ADHD dd has been a pain lately. I know it's junior year and she's stressed but she's been self medicating, pushing boundaries, taking risks, acting...(more) 4-25-2019 9:29am (12 replies)
    out at home, etc etc. it's been hell dealing with her moods and actions while trying to be balanced and supportive. She was so difficult last night when I was trying to talk to her after a long day that when she lashed out at me, I lashed out right back. I said "maybe you should just go to boarding school so you can do your own thing without me around". She said "maybe you should go away" and stormed off. last night was one of the few nights neither of us tried to make up and end the day with a lighter heart.
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    • By self medicating so you mean drinking and not prescribed drugs? 4-25-2019 9:30am
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      • Juul. Nicotine 4-25-2019 9:31am
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    • It's not too late to have a conversation and talk about her stress in another way 4-25-2019 9:33am
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      • Of course. I left her a note this morning as I had to leave before her. I know she'll be feeling bad about last night too. I'm sure we'll talk this evening. I was/am upset that I...(more) 4-25-2019 9:36am
        let control. I usually handle it better. I know she will be upset that I 'want' her to go away.
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        • I think it's healthy for kids to see us lose our cool, make mistakes, but then seek repair, taking ownership 4-25-2019 9:40am
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          • Intellectually I agree with you. We've always tried to lead by example. But emotionally, I am so upset with myself. I shouldn't have said that. She doesn't need to have mom say...(more) 4-25-2019 9:43am
            she should go away, on top of all the anxiety she's suffering. I know it'll be ok after we talk but I hate that I lost it
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            • yeah, I get it- btdt. Not our finest moments. I remember when my mom said something like that to me- it bothered me for a while but now I look back with some fondness about a...(more) 4-25-2019 9:47am
              difficult time for both of us
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              • Thank you for that 4-25-2019 9:56am
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    • Hmmm. Is she also on meds? 4-25-2019 9:37am
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      • Yes. But my post is not really about that. We are dealing with it. I was posting about my shabby behavior. 4-25-2019 9:38am
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        • np - your behavior is NBD. No one can take infinite rudeness and your dc is nearly an adult. 4-25-2019 9:48am
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          • ^it's not like this is your constant behavior. And if she's headed for college soon she does need to learn that you can't treat people you live with like this all the time and not...(more) 4-25-2019 9:50am
            expect a reaction.
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  5. Special Needs Please help - dd is 6th grade, and we're in the process of getting her a 504 due to ADHD. Her math teacher just emailed saying that she would likely not do well on the NY state...(more) 4-24-2019 8:13am (8 replies)
    math test. I'm considering just having her opt out for this year, until we can get accommodations in place, but I'm not sure if that will mess up her high school admissions. Wdyt?
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    • she is just now starting to bomb the math? what is her history of test taking and standardized grades? 4-24-2019 8:16am
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    • High school only look at 7th grade. PErsonally, I don't see any reason to opt oit. If she doesn't do well at least you'll know where you stand 4-24-2019 8:16am
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      • op - good point 4-24-2019 8:17am
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        • unless it will stress her out for next year. 4-24-2019 8:20am
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      • this, 100%. 6th grade is practice for the 7th grade test 4-24-2019 8:27am
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        • np - ITA. Better to practice when it's completely low (really no) stakes. 4-24-2019 8:45am
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      • We opted out 5 years ago because the stress was the last thing add/anxiety-riddled dd needed, and it was a test fo no legitimate reason. Her math teacher knew where she was. She...(more) 4-24-2019 8:29am
        was tested and graded regularly. The NYS tests were not going to do her any good so we say why put her through that?
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    • 6th grde doesn't matter. I would have DC take it and see what happens so you know. Only 7th grade counts. I also feel like when we let them opt out- if they are already anxious it...(more) 4-24-2019 8:21am
      may send the message that we feel they can't do it
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  6. Special Needs ADHD inattentive- what meds worked? 4-23-2019 8:58pm (5 replies)
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    • Finding their passion; art, gymnastics, baseball... Many excel at sports. 4-23-2019 8:58pm
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    • vyvanese 4-23-2019 9:00pm
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    • sticky, we opted not to medicate. 4-23-2019 9:00pm
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    • We did Concerta for a while but then I think it was the way her new school taught -she took herself off the meds at 15 4-23-2019 9:00pm
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  7. Special Needs My 13yo was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive) in 2014. He has executive function issues, and sometimes says impulsive things, but otherwise is sweet, easy to have around, does all...(more) 4-22-2019 7:12am (15 replies)
    of his work without being asked, and is a straight A student. Do you think the dx could be wrong? I haven't medicated him.
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    • Sounds like he’s suceeding despite it. It’s been 5 yrs since tested. Could retest. Or this might rear it’s head in high school. My ds was dx in 4th grade but it interfered years...(more) 4-22-2019 7:15am
      Later. Good luck
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    • both of my kids have this dx we don't medicate either. Having said that we go about our bunds as usual and could not care less what their dx is...does it really matter? 4-22-2019 7:15am
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      • Well, it matters if I'm not doing what I should be doing to help my child. My other child has ASD and yes, the dx matters. 4-22-2019 7:21am
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    • Does he forget or lose things? Does he remember his schedule -- it's Tuesday so I have baseball practice? 4-22-2019 7:16am
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      • He loses things (water bottles at sports practice, for example).He doens't forget when he has practice or games, though. 4-22-2019 7:22am
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    • My DS was diagnosed around 9 yo (same type) and we have done medication. It's been a game changer for us. Now he is 15 yo and we don't take it when not in school. The school...(more) 4-22-2019 7:17am
      We privately tested him at 9 yo and then the school tested him on their own when he was in middle -- he's due to be retested at school next school year (sophomore year).
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    • It’s such an arbitrary diagnosis, of course it could be wrong. But what would be different? Does he have a 504? 4-22-2019 7:18am
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      • He has a 504 for extra time testing but doesn't need it, or so he says. He's not a great standardized test taker. 4-22-2019 7:23am
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    • I have bad ADHD but at 13 I had straight A's. I liked school and felt pressure about grades and was bright so I was able to hyper focus. Behind the scenes I had my notes for...(more) 4-22-2019 7:20am
      English in my history spiral, was doing my science report at the last minute, would sometimes leave homework home.... I was okay until adulthood.
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      • op: I'm the same. I had undiagnosed ADHD and still have it now. I'm a mess now, but workeed extra hard in high school and college to get straight A.s 4-22-2019 7:23am
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        • Yes. Are you really smart? I came up with the accommodations like sitting up close (although I always lost my glasses so I still couldn't see), writing things down and teaching...(more) 4-22-2019 7:24am
          them to myself at home, leaving things in one place (even though I have no memory of doing so)...
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          • op: I'm more academically successful than I should be. I'm bright, but come from an extremely intelligent family so don't feel that smart. I was superstar academically. BUt now I...(more) 4-22-2019 7:26am
            leave things in taxis, lose things once a week or so, put keys in the refrigerator, etc.
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            • OP. I am better than I was with that but would mess up expense reports, boring tasks... at work and got fired. I like school so do better there. I have to get it together...(more) 4-22-2019 7:29am
              because I am too dependent on DH.
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              • op: I feel you. My DH takes care of anything money -related, planning, etc. 4-22-2019 7:38am
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                • Yes - that's how we are. He does help me but it creates a slightly weird dynamic. 4-22-2019 7:53am
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  8. Special Needs My ADHD teen is going to do me in. Seriously. 4-21-2019 10:30pm (4 replies)
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    • damn, they don't outgrow it by teens? 4-21-2019 10:34pm
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      • Some of us still have it as adults 4-21-2019 10:35pm
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    • Try to remember the positives too. It's not always easy 4-21-2019 10:34pm
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    • Sing it. At times it seems like laziness because dd can take extra steps for things that are important to her at that moment 4-21-2019 10:37pm
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  9. Special Needs Also any experience in sleep studies for child? Mine is 8 with ADHD, ASD. I can’t imagine a sleep study would be successful and yield much useful data. 4-20-2019 1:41pm (4 replies)
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    • I wanted to rip my face off. Can’t imagine my sad kids 4-20-2019 1:42pm
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    • what are his issues? 4-20-2019 1:42pm
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    • Had two. Showed nothing meaningful. Waste of time and money....(more) 4-21-2019 6:08pm
      Was hoping I would learn DC simply had apnea to explain various developmental and attentional issues. Kid would snore very loudly. Always needed more sleep than an average kid since birth. Nothing helpful
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    • ds w/ adhd, apd, dyslexia and dysgraohia. Because he loved wires all over him, slept like a baby. I have sleep apnea and he snored. Turned out he just has low sleep efficiency. 4-23-2019 9:38pm
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  10. Special Needs Any ideas? our 70 yods with ADHD changed his shoes in the bathroom today. he usually goed to the abthroom to change them - but jut for basketball because he needs to remove his...(more) 4-17-2019 7:42pm (12 replies)
    pants. today he ahd his shorts on. what kid of thinking is this?
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    • *7yo 4-17-2019 7:42pm
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    • Yaya! Great great grandma mom is on! 4-17-2019 7:42pm
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    • Why are you giving this any thought at all? 4-17-2019 7:42pm
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      • because it's weirrd. who goes into the bathroom to change just their shoes? 4-17-2019 7:44pm
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        • a 7yo 4-17-2019 7:45pm
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          • idk. he couldve changed them right there in hsi room. he didn't need to sue the bathroom 4-17-2019 7:46pm
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        • kids with habits 4-17-2019 7:45pm
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          • A kid with his mother up his ass 4-17-2019 7:48pm
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            • lol. i wasn't even in the room. 4-17-2019 7:49pm
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              • He might have been trying to be sneaking about something that we wouldn't even register as being something he needed to sneak about 4-17-2019 7:50pm
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    • what 4-17-2019 7:43pm
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    • I think you might be the oe with ADHD 4-17-2019 7:44pm
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  11. Special Needs Pooping in the pool...(more) 4-17-2019 3:48pm (5 replies)
    Ugh! My almost 6 year old son (ASD/ADHD) has been potty trained for 3 years but just now started pooping in the pool. Accidents 2 weeks in a row during swim class!!! Anyone BTDT? Ideas? Help! (He's NOT constipated - poops like clockwork every day at 5PM.)
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    • Change swim lesson time 4-17-2019 3:49pm
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    • Keep him out of the pool. Some kid did this on our vacation last year. Three of the six days the pool was closed to clean up poop. I feel badly for the kid and his fanily but it...(more) 4-17-2019 3:50pm
      wrecked our vacation
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      • no reason for someone to dislike this post. It is true that if a kid poops in the pool, the pool is then closed for EVERYONE while it gets disinfected. It is not fair to other...(more) 4-17-2019 4:34pm
        families/kids to allow your kid in the pool if this is an issue for him. It's sprinkler for the poop in pool child until he gets past this stage. Sorry but that is the only fair way to handle it. It happened at St Barts pool a number of years ago when my dc was supposed to have her group swim lesson, and she and all the other kids that day (all dressed in bathing suits and ready to take the plunge) were told to go home instead.
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    • Take a break from swim lessons. Once is a fluke, twice in a row is not. He either poops before lessons or he can't go to lessons. 4-17-2019 6:40pm
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    • Insist he poop before or he can't swim? 4-19-2019 5:51pm
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  12. Special Needs - no subject -...(more) 4-16-2019 6:11pm (4 replies)
    My 15yo has always been stubborn and strong willed, but as of about 6 months ago it seems to have developed into into really bad and uncontrollable behavior. She opposes anything and everything argues with everyone at home, poor grades. Ped provided Vanderbilt assessment forms. My responses indicate ODD/ADHD while one of her teacher’s response is normal and average student. How do I deal. She is very naive and tells us hime is toxic and she wants to move.
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    • where do you cut and paste these from? 4-16-2019 6:12pm
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    • I have a 14 yo exactly like this minus the diagnoses, isn't this normal teenage behavior 4-16-2019 6:13pm
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      • Nooo. She does not curse but her behavior is blatant FU....(more) 4-16-2019 6:23pm
        Her grades are really bad. She puts herself in harms way. I as a parent am confused on how to handle the new devil living with me
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    • sounds like a more thorough eval is needed. I would look at getting a neuropsych 4-18-2019 9:58am
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  13. Special Needs If you have an ADHD teen and you catch them in a lie - what are the consequences? DS lied about going to sports practice yesterday. Coach is angry and notified us (we didn't...(more) 4-16-2019 10:04am (6 replies)
    know) DS was hiding in library. I am so angry with him. Wondering if he'll be kicked off the team. he had no good reason
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    • Let the coach give the consequence. Try and find out the reason, ie too much work that he felt he could not complete if at the practice. 4-16-2019 10:09am
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      • i think he is just lazy. he was sitting on his phone/computer in library. he didn't even try to give us a BS excuse (which i was thankful for) Its like he thinks the rules dont...(more) 4-16-2019 10:10am
        apply to him
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    • If he was hiding in the library rather than going to practice, he had a reason. He just doesn't want to tell you. Maybe he wants to get kicked off the team. 4-16-2019 10:10am
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      • he hasn't complained about being on team. he likes being a part of it. i truly think he just preferred to zone out on his devices 4-16-2019 10:11am
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        • ^^maybe too cold out? i dont know. i have caught him in lies about practices before - so if he tells me practice is canceled i ask to see a note from teacher to prove it. this...(more) 4-16-2019 10:13am
          time he just hid
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          • Maybe you need to just back off and let him handle (or not handle) it. There are so many things we need to nag our kids about, sometimes it's helpful to jettison the...(more) 4-16-2019 10:17am
            non-essentials.
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  14. Special Needs Anyone giving cbd to adhd/anxious teens instead of meds or in addition to? 4-13-2019 1:17pm (0 replies)
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  15. Special Needs There is a driving school near my house that offers a driver's ed program for kids with ADHD. Anyone have any experience on the value of these programs? It is super expensive. I...(more) 4-13-2019 9:54am (12 replies)
    had planned on just requiring my kid to have triple the driving hours required for a license before he got one.
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    • No experience, but I would love the name of the school? 4-13-2019 9:55am
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    • I have adhd. Hmmmm.... I mean for me I just can’t talk and drive. 4-13-2019 9:55am
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      • ^not sure a special school would help. Have to focus extra while you drive. 4-13-2019 9:55am
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        • ^there isn’t a special instructor that would teach me this. 4-13-2019 9:56am
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    • I have a ds with adhd. I just had him take a regular course and we practiced with him until we felt he was ready. He was actually quite good. 4-13-2019 9:55am
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      • that's my inclination too. but I saw this and was intrigued. 4-13-2019 9:57am
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        • We have very strict rules about the radio and the cell phone is in the glove compartment. 4-13-2019 9:57am
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    • Wow! I'd sign up ds in a minute. As an ADHD adult, driving is such an issue for me, I would call and inquire further 4-13-2019 9:57am
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      • ^^^just to clarify, I wouldn't NOT send ds until I learned more about their method and why they're special 4-13-2019 9:58am
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    • My kid with significant adhd learned to drive in nyc and was actually really focused and cautious. I’m not so sure that it’s necessary but every kid with adhd is different. 4-13-2019 9:59am
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    • we bought our adhd ds a stick shift- hehas to focus much more this way and his hands are busy- no texting! 4-14-2019 12:00pm
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  16. Special Needs Therapists and educational consultants don't think ds can make it in regular school especially as schools wont provide as much support as he needs. so they suggested a couple of...(more) 4-12-2019 3:01pm (5 replies)
    options but those schools are at least 20k a year. I'm a single mom. My income is not high. now what. high school, going into 10th next year. severe inattentive adhd and anxiety.
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    • Can you get an atty and try and get reimbursement? 4-12-2019 5:57pm
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    • Where are you? 4-12-2019 6:21pm
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    • Move to Westchester 4-12-2019 7:00pm
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    • Where do you live. Can you get school district to lay b do they offer financial aid 4-13-2019 8:44am
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    • More to NYC, the tax payers will cover it. 4-13-2019 8:54am
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  17. Special Needs This post has been disliked 3 times. showADHD son is evil to the core. Says horrific, unspeakable things. Medication, therapy and diet not working. 4-11-2019 2:56pm (17 replies)
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    • I am so sorry. going thru this as well. 13. it is brutal. HUGS 4-11-2019 2:57pm
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    • age? meds? Does he have anxiety? 4-11-2019 2:57pm
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      • 7 4-11-2019 3:03pm
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      • And yes meds. Risperidone and Clonidine. 4-11-2019 3:13pm
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    • you need a med-check 4-11-2019 2:58pm
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      • this, right away. 4-11-2019 2:58pm
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      • what's a med check 4-11-2019 3:02pm
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      • He has tried over 10 different drugs. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is helping. 4-11-2019 3:04pm
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    • What kind of things? 4-11-2019 2:58pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 4-11-2019 3:02pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 4-11-2019 3:03pm
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      • Yes, that level of evil. It is horrifying. And he-and we-are in therapy. Nothing is helping. 4-11-2019 3:05pm
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    • DBT. Sounds like a personality disorder. But at this age, so treatable. 4-11-2019 3:05pm
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      • Just DBT? What about medication? 4-11-2019 3:08pm
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    • could there be more going on than adhd? maybe see a new psych? 4-11-2019 3:18pm
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    • My ADHD son is nothing like that. I'm wondering if he's not really ADHD. 4-11-2019 3:41pm
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    • I bet there’s a lot mor going on than adhd 4-11-2019 5:11pm
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  18. Special Needs Oh, ffs. I guess I ate not enough walnuts and pumpkin seeds. Same with my mil when she was expecting my dh.......(more) 4-11-2019 7:29am (5 replies)
    • If you are saying that dc has ADD, it is that you ate too many walnuts and not enough fish according to the article 4-11-2019 7:34am
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      • Np I didn’t eat hardly any fish when pregnant bc of mercury etc 4-11-2019 7:36am
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        • I gagged down sardines. 4-11-2019 7:37am
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          • And I didn’t eat blueberries. I hate blueberries. But they help with brain development 4-11-2019 7:41am
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    • ha, I get it. funny 4-11-2019 7:36am
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  19. Special Needs Sleep apnea test for autistic kid?...(more) 4-9-2019 9:01pm (4 replies)
    My DD is 9 and has ASD, ADHD, sensory problems and anxiety. Her behavior has gotten worse lately and I just noticed that she snores. I’m wondering if she might have sleep apnea. Can anyone recommend a doctor or a sleep study place that can handle testing a kid like this? Do they have at home tests you can do?
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    • In NYC by the way 4-9-2019 9:08pm
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    • Ask her ped. Yes you can do it at home. 4-10-2019 12:20am
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    • See an ENT. A full sleep study might not be necessary. She might have enlarged adenoids and or tonsils which obstructs her breathing. In NYC see...(more) 4-10-2019 8:49am
      Joseph Bernstein - he is fantastic. Also the team at Cornell are good. Avoid Michael Rothschild he is terrible.
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    • We did this at Columbia. I think the Dr was Karen/Caren Lamm - something like this 4-11-2019 10:02pm
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  20. Special Needs Best school for an anxious 10 yo with ADHD? Manhattan or Nasau? 4-9-2019 5:57pm (1 reply)
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    • ^^^Funded and unfunded. 4-9-2019 5:57pm
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  21. Special Needs Did a time come for your ADHD/Impulsive child that you had to switch from Ritalin to something else? Mine is on long-acting Ritalin and he's 10 yo. He may need something else...(more) 4-8-2019 12:46pm (0 replies)
    to keep him from being impulsive/defiant. What would that be?
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  22. Special Needs Would someone be willing to explain ADHD to me? This is informational only, I have no opinions, no theories just genuinely curious. I read posts about how a child will terrorize...(more) 4-7-2019 10:40pm (17 replies)
    an entire family - literally terrorize them - over doing homework or laundry. It seems like the most overwhelming debilitating thing to happen to a family I am curious as to whether people know what causes it, is it a spectrum thing like autism so it can be mild or severe. Is there much progress with medication and/or therapy? Also please don't get upset when I ask this I am just asking: is this considered a mental illness or a neurological dysfunction
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    • Thanks for posting here. I have two dc with adhd. My older has extreme hyperactivity and impulsivity and the younger has more combined type. I'm very fortunate in that my dh...(more) 4-7-2019 10:46pm
      understood that medication was necessary and didn't push back on it at all, like many dhs do. Medication was a game changer for both kids.
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      • Thank you for responding. First, I am glad that they have responded and you have found a solution. I have read so many terribly sad posts from parents who have tried everything...(more) 4-7-2019 10:49pm
        and need to resort - in extreme cases I am guessing - to schooling them outside of the home. Is there a genetic link to this or do they not know? I am ask about the genetic link because I was/am someone who I think exhibits a lot of these qualities. Certainly as a DC I was what people would call 'out of control, til, erratic' I did terrorize the family over small things, would be physically destructive, tried to hit people, lashed out in many ways. As an adult I made concerted efforts to change but its still there.
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    • its so hard to explain because it's not like other things that are one way and then you treat it. every kid is different and presents differently. family dynamics affect it I...(more) 4-7-2019 10:56pm
      think. I see kids manage better when they have a bigger supportive family and the resources to throw therapy and anything else that might help. Not that it makes it go away it doesn't but I see single parents or one parent who doesn't believe in it or support meds make things harder. My ds has inattentive type never hyper. He cant focus on something that isnt insteresting for more than a minute or two...he says it feels like his brain is floating around and he cant make it stop and listen. He has anxiety which manifests into very emotional behaviour. he is defiant about almost everything. he pushes boundaries constantly. has to have his way. he doesn't seem to have any desire to do well..but when he does he's so happy :) getting help in school is like fighting a war every day. honestly its a hell I wouldn't wish on anyone. Meds have made him so psychotic he's been rushed to the ER several timess. police have come to our home several times when he has episo
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      • Oh my god, the medication made him psychotic that is horrible I am so sorry! Ok so I see right off the bat that there are many many forms of this and that it isn't one size fits...(more) 4-7-2019 11:01pm
        all. Must be terrifying and in some ways alienating. As someone really in the dark about ADHD I can imagine making a snap judgment about a DC I saw behave that way without really knowing what is happening. I have to say, and this i not pitting one disorder against the other, but I don't see as much about ADHD as I do about autism which is puzzling considering how much more detrimental it appears to be.
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        • yes its so isolating..people think horrible things about your kid...but then don't see the great sides too. an average person wouldn't think anything of my dc if he wasn't at...(more) 4-7-2019 11:04pm
          school...just hanging out with friends or being active or going to a movie or anything. he's a nice polite kid and outside of home can and does hold it togheter. so theres a lot of letting all that emotion and frustration from the day out at home.
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          • I can see that. In a way I feel as if you are "lucky" that outside of the home he isn' meeting much judgement because his behavior is good but then feel you are not lucky to get...(more) 4-7-2019 11:06pm
            the brunt of it at home. Thank you so much for taking the time. I think I undesrtand more now. I think there should e more national attention to it.
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            • yes and the autism thing is interesting...I have wondered over the years if dc is misdiagnosed and is more ASD than just add and anxiety...they can be misdiagnosed...and IF he was...(more) 4-7-2019 11:12pm
              diagnosed as on the spectrum/high funtioning he would haved so much more supports in school and the community. I know a couple kids who are high functioning autistic but do so much better in school than my dc in part because they get so much help and supports and the school system takes it seriously whereas teachers get little to no training in adhd, I think many of them still think it isnt real. those kids seem to have much more social issues though and my dc stil has lots of friends and seems like a typical teen on the outside. my friends get so many therapies covered because of the diagnosis and we get nothing.
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              • This post has been deleted. 4-8-2019 1:03pm
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        • This post has been deleted. 4-8-2019 12:58pm
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    • Here is a handy dandy guide to start with...(more) 4-7-2019 11:04pm
    • OP Here: Thank you all for indulging my silly questions! 4-7-2019 11:10pm
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      • not at all, how nice to see someone want to genuinely learn about it without judging! 4-7-2019 11:12pm
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    • DH and I were both diagnosed with ADD in the 90s. We have a son with autism. I know this isn't what you asked, but people who were diagnosed with ADD are more likely to have a...(more) 4-7-2019 11:27pm
      child with autism, we found out. I thought that was interesting. It could be for many reasons, like growing up in families where people get help when they think there's a problem, living in a community where pediatricians and educators are more likely to notice learning differences, etc.
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    • Neurological dysfunction, but on a spectrum. I have adhd, as does over 10% of the population. I only take meds for a big project. I did very well in school but had a hard time...(more) 4-8-2019 12:13am
      w/organization (my mom put labels on every drawer) and I am easily distracted and have no sense of time passing. But overall I have no complaints.
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      • ^picked a career I could thrive in. Am a journalist, would've failed as an accountant. 4-8-2019 12:14am
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    • There's something about your post that seems trollish 4-8-2019 4:41pm
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  23. Special Needs If your kids with adhd refuse to do 95% of homework (and they barely bring the homework home most of the time) what do you do? I mean literally complete and utter refusal. Makes...(more) 4-7-2019 10:27pm (15 replies)
    excuses, gets angry, walks away...
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    • Loss of currency 4-7-2019 10:29pm
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      • What does that mean? 4-7-2019 10:29pm
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        • op-she means take away phone etc 4-7-2019 10:36pm
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    • Get a plan quick, before it turns into school refusal. My feeling is that there is usually something else going on, in addition to ADHD. 4-7-2019 10:30pm
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      • hes always been like this but high school the work is harder, he definitely has anxiety and a lot of self inflicted stress and social worries like teens do but he does know how to...(more) 4-7-2019 10:34pm
        do some of the work at least. He wont ask or take help at school, he has zero focus in class so he's not retaining any info. Its so sad to see but the fighting is out of control. And lying, he had all weekend and at 5pm I found the work in his binders
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        • The work is more abstract in high school. If he is missing any fundamentals in his needed foundation, then he will collapse....(more) 4-7-2019 10:44pm
          My hs senior couldn't get thoughts out of his head and on to paper. That meant not handing in a full year history paper in 9th and 10th grade. Once he got the help he needed he was okay. I was also told that for his profile he still needed very structured support, which I didn't want to hear.
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          • yes this happens too for sure...he can talk about subjects very deeply even but good luck writing even simple answers. what kind of help worked? his school is semi supportive but...(more) 4-7-2019 10:48pm
            the teachers dont do anything on his iep other than give him extra time on tests or fewer questions. also he's just not hearing anything in class unless very engaged
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            • It's a hard profile to understand. DOE didn't provide SETSS or speech therapy so I have DOE pay for EBL Coaching at $125/hour and a speech pathologist at the same rate....(more) 4-8-2019 1:05pm
              Assistive technology really helps with the executive function.
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    • You get reduced hw on their iep. BC HOMEWORK IS POINTLESS 4-8-2019 6:41pm
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      • op-totally agree 4-8-2019 9:44pm
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      • np - it matters a lot what the hw actually is, and how old dc is. the rote practice that is needed in math, foreign language for ex is done via hw. 4-9-2019 5:50pm
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    • How old is your kid? Makes a big difference. 4-9-2019 7:36am
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  24. Special Needs We are failing at helping ADHD dd keep track of her homework. She gets so angry when we check it, because we find things she hasn't done. And if we have a crazy week and don't...(more) 4-7-2019 8:28pm (24 replies)
    check the weekend work and she says it's done, we end up helping her study for a test at 8:30 on a sunday night. I'm seriously having trouble finding the time to work FT (both of us), and keep on top of her and her brother's stuff
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    • how old is she? 4-7-2019 8:29pm
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      • op-11 4-7-2019 8:30pm
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        • you have to mke this part of friday nights, and part of the early evening routine. 4-7-2019 8:31pm
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          • op - Right, but because we both work 'early evenings' is 6:30. If it's not done, that means it's either delay dinner or do it after and go to bed late. 4-7-2019 8:43pm
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            • I get this, but this is the plight of working parents. At least she's 11 not 8. At that age she may bee too tired at night but can finish work in the morning, as needed. 4-7-2019 8:48pm
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    • I really wish there were a no homework option. I'd gladly have my kid in school an extra year to make it up! 4-7-2019 8:30pm
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    • I find it to be exhausting. The amount of work, double checking and help my adhd child requires. I don’t work. It’s mentally exhausting. Contact the teachers see if you can get...(more) 4-7-2019 8:32pm
      assignments early so you can help plan.
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      • op - Yep, trying this 4-7-2019 8:43pm
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        • and see if you can get modified homework, i.e. if their are 20 math questions that are essentially the same, your DD gets fewer questions but they cover the same material. 4-7-2019 9:38pm
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    • Set up a regular Sunday morning meeting. She earns her freedom by showing you her completed assignments. That gives you the day to get stuff done. You just have to hold her to...(more) 4-7-2019 8:36pm
      completing it before she does anything fun. If she plays a sport or has church obligations on Sundays then move the meeting to sat or friday.
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      • ^does she care if she goes to school with it undone? Sometimes you may have to let the natural consequences fall 4-7-2019 8:37pm
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        • To me, this sounds like it is written by a parent w/o an ADHD child. 4-7-2019 8:43pm
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          • Or: nope - my kid with adhd is currently in her first year of college and still very adhd but at least it’s her prob now. :) 4-7-2019 8:51pm
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            • op - How is she doing? 4-7-2019 8:52pm
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              • Or: She is doing well - but is still herself. She goes to a slac with only 2500 students - never more than 12 kids in her classes. She still procrastinates and has to ask for...(more) 4-7-2019 8:57pm
                extensions. She’s had mishaps with her meds (takes a stim so if she waits too late she ends up awake most of the night.) But, she’s still there. Her GPA was just under 3.5 first semester. All in all, she’s thriving.
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        • op - Well, this is something that has to be done every day. And yes, technically if homework isn't done she isn't supposed to have 'screen time'. So she texts dh or I that it'...(more) 4-7-2019 8:45pm
          done, but we can't really double check until we're home. She has a sitter (for younger kid) but she isn't great at checking dd's homework.
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          • I’m not sure why I thought the problem was mostly weekends. What time do you guys get home from work? I see no problem with telling her no screens until after you get home and...(more) 4-7-2019 8:54pm
            check. That would serve two purposes - it might mean a lot less screen time but that’s a good thing. And, if she can’t get on a screen, she might be more likely to actually do that homework. I honestly feel like my kid with adhd may have looked more typical if she was raised in the 80s without constant screens. She is so addicted to her phone and any screen - she would flat out lie to get more time on it.
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    • I Think you have to make a rule that you get together Saturday morning to review where’s she is at with homework. She earns A small reward if she’s made good progress. Or some...(more) 4-7-2019 9:27pm
      other kind of incentive. The possibility of an award makes it a positive rather than a negative.
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    • Maybe she is having trouble getting it done. Does she understand it? 4-7-2019 9:30pm
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    • Does she have an IEP? Does the school have a resource room where she can get help from the teachers? 4-7-2019 9:39pm
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    • Does she have assistive technology? Get rid of paper and color-code Google calendar to start. 4-8-2019 6:44pm
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    • Homework is without value for an 11 yo. Get reduced or no hw on her iep 4-8-2019 6:48pm
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      • Sleep is important for learning and especially for kids with Adhd! 4-8-2019 6:49pm
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  25. Special Needs Does your adhd teen say that you insult them or put them down or being mean constantly? Maybe I am sometimes inadvertently but I’m saying to him that it’s important to do things...(more) 4-7-2019 7:35pm (0 replies)
    that are good for you ie get exercise do your homework are your friends be active do some chores, not scream at your parents and do Exactky what you are accusing us of. He’s not stopped saying I called him a loser all day. I don’t. I said many kids actually like doing things other than watch tv and play video games because there is a lot more to life than that and so on. Guess what dc, it would be easy to insult you but I’m not, you just don’t listen or do anything but fight and argue. So tired.
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