Special Needs

  1. Special Needs What are the free special needs schools on the east side? Harlem on down? 6 hr 1 min ago (0 replies)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
  2. Special Needs Live in the burbs and this is my dc's first year at a sn school. Our district transports him and one other child. My dc gets picked up first. Every day, my dc is waiting a solid...(more) 6 hr 33 min ago (5 replies)
    10 mins for the other kid to come out to the bus. Today it was over 10 mins and my dc was late to school. I think the other dc is having some sort of school refusal (which my dc had last year) and I have sympathy for the other family, but my dc is getting anxious about being late for school. Would you call to compain? I dont even know who to call...
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • can your kid be picked up second? 6 hr 32 min ago
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • no, the other dc is closer to the school and anyway, my dc could still be late to school. I think then it would take the other kid even longer if he got picked up earlier 6 hr 30 min ago
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • tell the school, kids should not be late 6 hr 29 min ago
          log in or sign up to post a comment
        • maybe they can start the whole route 15 mintues earlier? 6 hr 24 min ago
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • Its not fair to her kid to have to leave 15 mins earlier in the morning just to sit outside another kids house (np) 5 hr 56 min ago
            log in or sign up to post a comment
  3. Special Needs Ds takes bus to sn school very early. Heís little and needs to be asleep by 8 pm or heís absolutely miserable getting up at 6 am. I had a meeting and dhs job was to ensure the...(more) 21 hr 35 min ago (11 replies)
    bedtime. I got home at 10 pm and ds was awake and dh was in bed asleep with lights out and door closed. Iím so angry bc tomorrow will be so hard.
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Make dh do the morning routine 21 hr 34 min ago
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Better yet make dh drive him so poor lil guy can sleep in 21 hr 31 min ago
        log in or sign up to post a comment
      • I could. Iím more upset at how hard it will be for ds. His whole day will be really hard. I think itís important for dh tomsee how painful it will be for ds. He was...(more) 21 hr 31 min ago
        so careless.
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • It's one day. 21 hr 33 min ago
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Things are hard enough for this kid and for me . This is really important to me and I made it clear. Dh is so dismissive of these little things that matter a lot ds. Our not kids...(more) 21 hr 27 min ago
        I can be way more laid back about.
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Wow. Iíd wake dh up and tell him to put him to bed 21 hr 33 min ago
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • How old is ds? 21 hr 30 min ago
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • 7 yo 21 hr 26 min ago
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • I have a SN kid the same age who also needs a ton of sleep but one night won't make or break things. He'll have a bad day and he and your dh will learn. 20 hr 58 min ago
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • ^The part I can't get past is your dh going to sleep and leaving an awake 7 year old unsupervised. That would NOT be ok for me. 20 hr 57 min ago
            log in or sign up to post a comment
  4. Special Needs Help! School bus to private SN school was assigned today for 8 year old. Three problems:...(more) 9-24-2018 5:52pm (22 replies)
    1. DC is to picked up TWO HOURS prior to school starting (first to be picked up). 2. Bus leaves our safe neighborhood and goes through the worst sections of the Bronx to pick up remaining children. 3. I was told matron does not give out her phone number. Is this normal? I think we can reject the bus length but would you object to the routing? It's insane.
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • you absolutely can reject it 9-24-2018 5:53pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Am I crazy to reject the route? I do not want him going through impoverished neighborhoods with high rates of crime. 9-24-2018 5:54pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • well of course you don't mention that at all. You mention the time. that is it. No mention of anything else 9-24-2018 5:55pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • OK I won't mention it but am I crazy to be worried about this? I cannot even imagine him going through those neighborhoods. It is the worst of the worst in NYC. I read the map...(more) 9-24-2018 5:56pm
            points.
            log in or sign up to post a comment
        • I donít know that you can reject it based on that. I would use the 2 hours 9-24-2018 5:57pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • I don't mean legally how we reject it I mean if they come back with reduced time on that route would you send your 8 year through these neighborhoods 10 times per week? 9-24-2018 5:58pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
            • I would not. 9-24-2018 6:24pm
              log in or sign up to post a comment
            • Do you think there's some high rate of crimes against school buses? You don't get to choose or reject the route. Sorry. He's not walking alone, he is in a vehicle with adults. 23 hr 35 min ago
              log in or sign up to post a comment
        • is this a joke post? You live in nyc. 3 hr 28 min ago
          log in or sign up to post a comment
    • There is a cap on how long dc can be on a bus. Itís 60min in our district. It might be more in yours. You cannot plan the route ffs. 9-24-2018 5:55pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Please stop with the patronizing and rude 'ffs' - this is the special needs boards, we are not rude cows here. 9-24-2018 5:57pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Itís rude of op to think her kid is too precious to ride with his bus mates. 9-24-2018 6:04pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • She didnít say anything about the bus mates 9-24-2018 6:25pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
          • not worried about bus mates at all. they are all children and only a few of them. I'm sure they're darling. 9-24-2018 7:42pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
      • i thought in NYC the cap was 1.5 hours? Can't remember. But it certainly isn't 2. 9-24-2018 5:59pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Are you discussing SN children? 9-24-2018 6:00pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
        • It is. You need limited time travel on the IEP for an hour 9-24-2018 6:25pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
        • OP says 2 hour sbefore school starts, but bus routes are planned to arrive in time for school breakfast 30 min before school starts. So it may well be compliant with 90 minutes 23 hr 36 min ago
          log in or sign up to post a comment
    • 1) That may be legit -- 2 horus before school is likely a 90 min ride plus time to allow kids to get school breakfast, 2) No standing on that, 3) That is weird but she is not...(more) 23 hr 33 min ago
      required to give our her personal cell phone. Call the bus company.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I've got to respond to the Bronx thing. I don't know what your values or priorities in life are, but this strikes me as so insane. Part of living in NYC is seeing lots of...(more) 10 hr 36 min ago
      different ways of living. Most of New York is super safe compared to what it was before. I grew up taking a bus through Harlem and the Bronx in the 80's to get to Fieldston. THe city was so much more impoverished then, and dangerous, and I actually feel like that trip helped me see things and understand the city so much better. If, god forbid, the school bus breaks down, what do you think is going to happen? People live and work in these neighborhoods as well. Do you think some drug dealers are going to bum rush the bus?
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • OK thank you for this, signed op 6 hr 51 min ago
        log in or sign up to post a comment
  5. Special Needs For those who sued for tuition reimbursement, how long did it take for a hearing date to be confirmed to discuss tuition reimbursement? 9-24-2018 10:48am (1 reply)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • The length of time can vary by the year. For instance, my attorney tells me the hearing office this year is very backed up, and that if you request a hearing now, you probably...(more) 9-24-2018 1:10pm
      won't get a date until December. The thing to remember about this is that it is a long slog, no matter when you get a hearing date. Getting a hearing date does not even mean you will start your hearing on that day. And regarding a "discussion" about whether to reimburse you: this does not necessarily occur before the hearing-- you may just go to hearing. Assume it will take at least a full school year for your case to be finished, one way or the other.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
  6. Special Needs What happens if you have a kid at an early grade (k or 1st) a special needs private like MMFS or Gaynor or Gateway and they can't keep up. Do you get "counseled out"? And if so...(more) 9-23-2018 11:40pm (18 replies)
    where do you go from there?
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Another private for lower cognitive kids 9-24-2018 12:01am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Can you give me any names? IQ is normal but poor attention span and poor fine motor skills. 9-24-2018 12:01am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Adhd? On meds? 9-24-2018 12:04am
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • No diagnosis. I suspect ADHD inattentive but our neuropsych isn't ready to give that diagnosis yet. Attention span is inconsistent. No meds. 9-24-2018 12:05am
            log in or sign up to post a comment
            • Np- if itís adhd, they will encourage you to see with your psychiatrist about meds. 9-24-2018 6:44am
              log in or sign up to post a comment
            • nnp - what is dc not keeping up with in K/1? 9-24-2018 8:48am
              log in or sign up to post a comment
              • OP here. We haven't been counseled out yet, but I just want to be prepared. Right now fine motor skills are holding him back but he is working with an OT 9-24-2018 10:37am
                log in or sign up to post a comment
                • I cannot imagine one of those schools counselling a kid out for lack of fine motor skills! Don't worry about that aspect! 23 hr 31 min ago
                  log in or sign up to post a comment
        • No sorry 9-24-2018 12:06am
          log in or sign up to post a comment
    • District 75 9-24-2018 12:01am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Ridicukius 9-24-2018 6:26am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • First talk to the school about support and donít assume the teacher is good and giving your kid what he needs. If things then donít improve go back to your neuropsych and ask for...(more) 9-24-2018 6:26am
      recommendations for better placements for your child. Unless your kid had behavioral problems it is very unlikely they will be kicked out. But he wonít be getting what h needs and thatís not good. First try to work on things where you are but have a plan b
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I know this is a very personal decision, but if it is ADHD I recommend looking into meds It can really be a lifesaver to help kids like this focus and get what they need out of...(more) 9-24-2018 10:17am
      class. Other schools -- this is not based on personal experience, but maybe Reese, Child, Parkside, GB, Learning Spring? Apologies if I have miss-characterized any of these schools.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • if we end up getting a diagnosis we may go the med route 9-24-2018 11:23am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Np: most good doctors will not give adhd medication to a 5-6 year old 9-24-2018 11:53am
          log in or sign up to post a comment
    • np: if the school feels your child is not a good fit, they will counsel you out, and hopefully, will suggest some other sn schools where you can apply. There are plenty of...(more) 9-24-2018 1:12pm
      schools for kids who do not function at a high enough level for the three you mention. And they are good schools too.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Can you suggest any names of schools? Thanks! 9-24-2018 4:09pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • OR: schools for children who function lower than the three you mention are plentiful. Some that come to mind are Child, Cooke, SLCD, Aaron, Rebecca, Manhattan Star Academy-- and...(more) 10 hr 18 min ago
          there are many more. If your child is being counseled out, you should get an explanation as to why. The counseling out school should also suggest some alternatives to you. Right now, this seems to be hypothetical. At your next neuropsych, if you go to Dr. Salsberg, he also will suggest appropriate schools to take a look at. There really are a lot of schools.
          log in or sign up to post a comment
  7. Special Needs Do private schools charge to accommodate dyslexia and other LDs?...(more) 9-23-2018 10:42pm (8 replies)
    Hi! Recently, my nephew's private elementary school began to charge what I consider to be an exorbitant amount to provide coaching for his dyslexia. I gather that if my nephew were in a public school and qualified, he would be given free assistance for his dyslexia, but that the federal statute at issue (IDEA) doesn't apply to private schools. Two questions (1) are there any federal laws that I'm not aware of that require a private school not to charge to provide support for a kid's dyslexia, and (2) regardless of the legal obligations, what's typical? Are most private schools charging families of kids with learning disabilities more? All?
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Iím pretty sure the kid could get special ed services through the school district in which they live. Has he been evaluated? Does he have an iep? 9-23-2018 10:46pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Not required and yes pay more. That said, his parents should not have been surprised by any of this. 9-23-2018 10:46pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • My private school has a learning specialist, but all the kids with dyslexia have private tutors paid for by the parents that come in. 9-23-2018 10:48pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • private schools harge for everything 9-24-2018 8:47am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • My ds is in a mainstream private. He gets tutoring 2x for "free" (funded by public school district I believe), and then I pay for additional private tutoring and speech. 9-24-2018 10:12am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • ^dyslexia and ADHD dxs 9-24-2018 10:12am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Depends on the school. Some have a fee for service model. 9-24-2018 10:13am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Mainstream private will absolutely charge for additional individual services. 9-24-2018 6:35pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
  8. Special Needs Experience weaning off of Adderal XR? I will call MD tomorrow but wondering, ds has unrelated health issues that will require meds and need to take him off. 9-23-2018 7:22pm (9 replies)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • You donít wean itís onky in your system 12 hours . Just stop taking 9-23-2018 7:22pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • okay thanks! I was trying to research and got conflicting info, of course I will call her in AM anyway to talk about it but relieved to know. 9-23-2018 7:23pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • You never do weekend or vacation breaks ? 9-23-2018 7:23pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • Adderal is new to us and seems like a longer half life vs. Ritalin. I wasn't quite sure. 9-23-2018 7:25pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
      • i'm not sure I agree with this. Even though it out of your system you get used to taking it. Every year we take my ds off Adderal for summer and for about two weeks he's crazy...(more) 9-23-2018 7:27pm
        hyper and irritable until he gets used to being unmedicated again.
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • If those two weeks correspond with the end of the school year, many kids have serious beahvioral issues then, including mine whose meds we don't stop in the summer 9-24-2018 8:51am
          log in or sign up to post a comment
    • you do NOT just stop taking. depending on what dose he takes you may want to go down first and then stop. talk to Dr. 9-23-2018 7:34pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • will in the AM, thanks 9-23-2018 7:37pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • ^just anxious as we have to treat something else fast 9-23-2018 7:37pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
  9. Special Needs I finally have everyone at school understanding that dd is anxious not defiant, and dh just called me from swim lessons super irritated that dd refused to get in the pool,...(more) 9-22-2018 3:54pm (38 replies)
    complaining that dd was wasting his time. I calmly asked why he was escalating the situation instead of just having her sit on the side in her bathing suit until the lesson was over to see if she would decide to go in. He grumbled again about wasting his time and added not letting her do anything when they get home and that he already had her change into her clothes. Sigh.
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • You know, DH is not perfect and it's tough with SN kids. 9-22-2018 3:55pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Iím sure itís frustrating for him and he really wants whatís best for her. 9-22-2018 3:55pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • No: Iím sure itís frustrating for him and he really thinks treating her like she was defiant, not anxiety-disordered, will make it so. 9-22-2018 4:01pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • If she's struggling, why make her do extra-curricular activities? I'd wait until you got the anxiety under control. 9-22-2018 3:55pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • She wants to take swimming lessons. She usually loves them, I have no idea why she didnít want to go in today. 9-22-2018 3:58pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Because Dh took her, not you. Btdt . 9-22-2018 3:59pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • ? 9-22-2018 4:00pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
          • He is almost always the one who takes her to weekend lessons, which is what she almost always does, except during the summer, 9-22-2018 4:03pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
        • why should she? she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to 9-22-2018 3:59pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
        • You cannot feed the anxiety monster. Sh egoes, she sits on the side in her suit period. Letting her come home feeds the anxiety monster and makes the anxiety worse 9-22-2018 4:04pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • Neither of us had her come home. I would have had her sit on the side in her suit and stayed calm. He got angry and had her change and sit in the bleachers. But they are home and...(more) 9-22-2018 4:17pm
            he is still angry and punishing her and saying he wonít take her again.
            log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Sounds like you need to handle these things. Sorry. 9-22-2018 3:55pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • How old? 9-22-2018 3:56pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • 9 9-22-2018 3:58pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • At that age I would just say that if she is not getting into the pool, we should go home 9-22-2018 4:05pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • np: I agree. 9-22-2018 4:23pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
    • how old is dd? 9-22-2018 3:56pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Yup, my Dh punishes anxiety like itís defiance too. Itís annoying to always have to be the one to takes to things so I can manage his anxiety. Then Dh doesnít get it, thinks ds is...(more) 9-22-2018 3:56pm
      All gung-ho for sports but then tramples all over it and sets him back again.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Our older child has autism. He doesnít do any activities at this point. We have been down that road. It took years for dh to believe ds was autistic and not defiant. itís dds...(more) 9-22-2018 4:00pm
        choice to take swimming lessons. I donít know what happened today. But yeah, I think we are back to the point where he doesnít believe the diagnosis.
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • even if a child has anxiety, sometimes he/she has to do certain things they want to do. 9-22-2018 4:01pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • I agree. I Have anxiety (and did as a kid) and itís a fine line, you donít want to reinforce the anxiety either 9-22-2018 4:02pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
            • Well thatís why I would have had her just sit on the side of the pool in her swimsuit. 9-22-2018 4:03pm
              log in or sign up to post a comment
              • Yes, I agree thatís a fair middle ground. Thatís what we have done with my kids in the last 9-22-2018 4:03pm
                log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Does he have some cognitive issues? Why cant he understand that his kid has a medical issue that causes the behavior he wants to punish? 9-22-2018 4:13pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • He just sounds frustrated. I have an SN child too and I understand that he has issues, it does not mean that I can deal with it 9-22-2018 3:57pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • This post has been disliked 3 times. showHe is a fucking idiot. You can tell him I said so. 9-22-2018 4:00pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Wow. Thatís exactly why so many couples with SN kid divorce 9-22-2018 4:03pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • I have no sympathy anymore for men who have such a frustrating, hard time accepting their kidsí diagnoses,...(more) 9-22-2018 4:07pm
          and understanding how to behave towards them, discipline etc. I dont care if thereís some biological or cultural reason why men canít deal with having an SN child. If they want to punish their kids for ďwasting their timeĒ, or causing them embarrassment, you bet Iíll call them fucking idiots.
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • This is not a male-female issue. Having a child with behavioral SN is exhausting. You can accept your kid's dx and still find their behavior incredibly frustrating and exhausting. 9-22-2018 10:55pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Is this the first lesson? I agree abetter lesson would be to have her sit there and watch the class. But I can see his anger. Does this happen every week? 9-22-2018 4:01pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • This is the third week of this session. The first week went great. Last week was cancelled because something was wrong with the pool. 9-22-2018 4:02pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • So it turns out there was a specific reason for her anxiety today. There was only one other kid there, and she said was unsure if she should get in the pool. DH told her the...(more) 9-22-2018 4:20pm
      teacher motioned for her to get in the pool, but it sounds like that wasnít enough to make her feel comfortable. So basically because everything felt different, she didnít get in. Meanwhile, dh is still angry and saying itís a waste of time and money and doesnít want to take her anymore. Way to add to her anxiety for next time.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • This sounds so much like my home. Sorry for you, that this is happening OP and for your dd and dh too. All too often I loose it with dh and he is a good dad. it is insanely hard,...(more) 9-23-2018 9:52am
      but I think I need to try and be more loving to him, so he can pass that on to dd. In my fam, we are all anxious, it just manifests in different ways. Anger and irritation when things are out of control is just one of them. New day. Hang in there:)
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Thanks. This is actually a really helpful reminder that as frustrating as it is for me when he doesnít handle things well, it is often his own challenges that may be making it so 9-23-2018 2:18pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • YW. I need this reminder myself. Your post did that for me. It really does take a village:) 9-23-2018 5:29pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I have twins, one with ADHD and anxiety, and the other with just mild anxiety. I remember really losing it when my dd with 'just' anxiety would not get in the pool for swim...(more) 9-24-2018 9:43am
      classes. It can feel enraging when you don't know why and it seems very safe and friendly. It's embarrassing as a parent and you do feel like you're wasting your time and money- it's a lot of effort to get gear together and go to swim on Saturdays. I'm normally very patient, and always reading/interpreting what's anxiety and what's defiance (we have both!). I'm saying all of this to say that we all have our moments, and this is hard stuff. It feels so frustrating to watch other kids just do this stuff, while your kids can't seem to do it. I've been there. You can go ahead and flame me as well, but I think if everyone looked at themselves, they'd find plenty of times when they just threw a fit themselves instead of being understanding and calm.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • We are all human, and I know that, but it never helps to feed into the anxiety. We were a minute late to school this morning, and she immediately went into flight mode and wanted...(more) 9-24-2018 1:17pm
        to not go. I easily could have fed into it. Instead I stayed calm and solved the problem. Iím pretty sure dh would have had his own panic and done the opposite. Itís just hard for me to have to manage his anxiety as well you know?
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Yes, totally. I didn't mean to invalidate your frustration. I think what we all want from our partners in this challenge of parenting a SN kid or kids is that we see they are...(more) 9-24-2018 5:12pm
          trying to be calm, deal with their own crap, and be a grown up in these situations. None of us succeed at that all the time, but if you're trying, he should be trying too, definitely.
          log in or sign up to post a comment
  10. Special Needs I feel like my whole weekend is spent trying to get my 12 yo w/ ADHD off the Xbox, then keeping him off. We limit it, and it's a constant negotiation. I have ADHD too and forget...(more) 9-22-2018 1:30pm (9 replies)
    that he's on it. I need a simple solution - please!
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I mean...I hate to be that bitch but no way in hell would I have an xbox in the house w/ an ADHD 12yo 9-22-2018 1:31pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • OP - What kinds of things would he do to keep busy in the house? He is high energy, and I need a break sometimes. 9-22-2018 1:45pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Put the tv/Xbox plug on a timer. Own no extension cords. 9-22-2018 1:31pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I have it too. Ds plays soccer a lot. 9-22-2018 1:34pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Put it away for a month. I'm not kidding. 9-22-2018 1:37pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • OP - I did, and it was great. I need a day-to-day solution for a house with two working parents. I like the timer idea but he will scream and yell that his best frined just got...(more) 9-22-2018 1:44pm
        on, etc.
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Does not even matter. 9-22-2018 2:01pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
        • The day-to-say solution is not having one when your kid can't handle it. It's not worth the short-term gain. 9-22-2018 10:58pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • Get rid of it if they cannot get off--you will never win the battle while in house 9-23-2018 4:54pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
  11. Special Needs Any suggestions for basketball sneakers that are comfortable? Sensory ds findable then all too stuff and u comfortable and he has to wear them for his b-ball team 9-22-2018 10:00am (1 reply)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Check out the fly knit ones 9-22-2018 10:11am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
  12. Special Needs Anyone on with recent experience at Winston Prep CT for HFA high schooler? 9-22-2018 8:07am (0 replies)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
  13. Special Needs Starting to think about boarding school for my LD/anxiety 14 y/o son. So far, thinking about Forman, Pennington...anyone have a great experience at a school within driving...(more) 9-22-2018 7:33am (2 replies)
    distance? Also, anyone able to deduct bc of mental health care services provided at the school?
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • No, but I'm stickying. NP said to consider a particular boarding school for my ds for HS. He's spectrum with lots of anxiety. 9-22-2018 8:04am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Did you look at Storm King? 9-22-2018 9:24pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
  14. Special Needs Hi, Son is 14 and autistic rides mini wagon to school . He is now just a little over 6feet tall. Comes home and his knees are red, scraped bruised. The rows for the seats are too...(more) 9-21-2018 6:02pm (15 replies)
    narrow. I know they arent adjustable. He wouldn't be able to handle a standard bus as that would be more stops and more kids on that bus and the seats would be the same. Could I request from OPT a special bus or send a car ? He can't put his leg in the aisle or sit sideways as that would be a safety hazard. I can't put him on public bus either. He would have to take 3 buses.
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • There isn't a front row seat that would work? That's terrible. You definitely need an alternative arrangement. 9-21-2018 6:03pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • A standard bus wouldn't be the same 9-21-2018 6:03pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • The rows would be wider? Im afraid as he is always been on mini wagon with a/c and limited time. Then he would have to give all that up. 9-21-2018 6:06pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • or: Maybe he would do fine on the bus. Those buses are made for HS kids who are just as tall as him. 9-21-2018 6:07pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Itís worth making the phone call 9-21-2018 6:03pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • This post has been disliked 5 times. showfucking drive him. 9-21-2018 6:06pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • I would if I could. 9-21-2018 6:07pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • This post has been disliked 3 times. showare you not 16 yet? 9-21-2018 6:08pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • NP: you are such an asshole!! You know nothing about her circumstances, including her need to work. 9-21-2018 6:13pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
      • This post has been disliked 4 times. showwhat kind of mother would refuse to drive her special needs child to school? abhorrant. 9-21-2018 6:07pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Thanks for being judgemental. Circumstances I have so we have arrangements for him with busing. 9-21-2018 6:09pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • how's that working out. you need a better one. 9-21-2018 6:11pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
            • Foe the nasty people....you know who you are...(more) 9-21-2018 6:38pm
              I am not able to drive my son to school everyday. My work schedule will not allow it. Maybe you should use your head before you post such nasty shit. You are not in a position to judge me. I would not judge you so I guess we know who the classy one is. I'm sure you willl no doubt post something nasty after reading this as well :)
              log in or sign up to post a comment
        • ugh, how nasty you are 9-21-2018 6:12pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
        • you dumb cunt. So many people in NYC do not have a car, and depending on the length of the commute and parents work schedules, this may not be possible 9-21-2018 6:20pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
  15. Special Needs Eric Goldstein of OPT has been fired by Carranza 9-21-2018 1:04pm (4 replies)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Office of pupil transportation? Because of the article earlier this month? 9-21-2018 1:07pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • yes, the Post has done a big series of stories about increase # of calls and a big story about bus drivers who are driving with criminal history ie were not properly vetted 9-21-2018 1:12pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Hear you. Iím not sorry heís gone then. :) 9-21-2018 1:16pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
        • you mean the daily news 9-21-2018 3:52pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
  16. Special Needs My aunt recently died and my ASD 11 year old son showed no emotion about this. He actually told me that she was not his family so he was not sad. This devastated me because I...(more) 9-21-2018 12:45pm (7 replies)
    thought he was more emotionally connected. When I spoke to him further, he told he was sad for his second cousins who lost their grandmother. This was a revelation, not only does he feel sadness, but he feels empathy, while it does not show in the way I'm used to. Just wanted to share.
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I'm sorry, I can see why that would bother you :( 9-21-2018 12:46pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • It did, but he also taught me how to see the world from his viewpoint. Which I actually think is better because I've been sad for myself, he was sad for others' pain. 9-21-2018 12:48pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • OH yes, I'm sorry, I missed that other part of your post, which was actually amazing!! 9-21-2018 12:49pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
    • aw that makes sense. I always hear about people with ASD exactly that - they DO feel a lot but just express differently than the rest of us. 9-21-2018 12:48pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • If this was his great aunt, unless he happened to be close to her, I think it's pretty likely for a kid that age to not be upset about it 9-21-2018 5:30pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • np: I was thinking the same thing. 9-22-2018 12:19pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Not in my family. We donít talk about immediate, or extended family. It is actually expected to feel close to everyone. Is a cultural thing, expectations are different. 9-23-2018 5:06pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
  17. Special Needs Can anyone reccomend a great speech/language pathpoloogist who works with adults on social communication. Thanks. 9-21-2018 12:21pm (3 replies)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
  18. Special Needs My son is 15 yo, 114 lbs at 5í9.5. He has been taking adhd medication since age 10 and it has been a rea struggle to keep weight on. We had always guessed he would be taller...(more) 9-21-2018 10:27am (11 replies)
    than dh who is 5í9 because ds was a tall kid. The dr said he is probably at his max height based on his examination and that ds has been at this height for a year now. I feel guilty about the medication.
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I'd be more concerned about how thin he is at that height. 9-21-2018 10:28am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Op- i am worried about that also. He has IBS which makes things even more difficult 9-21-2018 10:30am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Eh hes a normal Male height 9-21-2018 10:28am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • 5'9" isn't short. I would assume your doctor would have told you if it were stunting his growth...I have 2 friends with kids on both ADHD meds and HGH 9-21-2018 10:32am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Sounds like he is average just like his Dad. Lots of kids are tall and hit their peak height by -5 (like my DH). Donít feel guilty it is extremely unlikely your DS would be much...(more) 9-21-2018 10:33am
      taller based on genetics...even if he wasnít medicated he would still be 5í9 or so. And current studies show the medication has no significant impact on height - itís like 1/4-1/2 an inch at max!
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Sorry typo I meant hit peak height by 15 9-21-2018 10:34am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • This is my biggest worry for ds. He has started meds when he turned 10. He is almost 11 and weight gain is an issue. When he was younger he was always 99% height but he is at...(more) 9-21-2018 10:39am
      89%. I know he is young but it is a worry for me. He is never hungry and plays a ton of sports.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I've started to wonder if the ADHD medication is affecting ds's growth. He is 15 and 5'6". The men in dh's family and mine are all tall so I'm a little surprised. Given a...(more) 9-21-2018 11:01am
      other issues (autism, behavior issues, etc.), it's not top of mind for me, but I've wondered.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Op- I think it is the lack of body weight more than the medication itself. Is your child very slim? (Op) 9-21-2018 1:22pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • No, he is solid like my ds. He doesn't eat much in the day when the Concerta is in his system, but he eats a lot at night. He's not very active. Since he has ds's bone...(more) 9-21-2018 1:53pm
          structure, I thought he'd also come close to his height.
          log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Thatís average height 9-21-2018 1:25pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
  19. Special Needs Anyone have a child with LD at Pennington? 9-21-2018 5:56am (0 replies)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
  20. Special Needs Anybody have experience with the Academics West Theraputic Program? Wondering what their typical student is like. 9-20-2018 10:20pm (2 replies)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • My de had tutoring from them but not the therapeutic school 9-20-2018 10:24pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • anxiety/depression/school refusal/asd 9-21-2018 10:25am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
  21. Special Needs DH is a great guy, but socially clueless and it is an issue in our life as a family. He was dx with Aspergers a while ago (when the dx still existed). Super bright and sweet, but...(more) 9-20-2018 10:13pm (12 replies)
    needs a good, male therapist to do some social stuff with him. Any recommendations?
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • not by name, but go CBT all the way 9-20-2018 10:15pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • is this something he wants ? 9-20-2018 10:17pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • he is willing to do it. We have had lots of therapy in the past. Do you think CBT actually works for people who just miss social cues? 9-20-2018 10:18pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • I'm not OR. but first and foremost, his willingness is HUGE. I think the thing he needs to grasp is on the nuance of communication. Perhaps CBT can help but sounds like he more...(more) 9-20-2018 10:20pm
          needs a coach.
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • Any suggestions... 9-20-2018 10:21pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
          • ^^ Honestly, I would be amazed if this exists. I would start by looking into sevices for ASD adults. I'm not saying it doesnt exist because it should. 9-20-2018 10:23pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
            • ^^ I would look at places like the Yale child study center.. reach out to them and tell them what you're looking for ( or a school like that close to where you are ). I would also...(more) 9-20-2018 10:25pm
              reach out to centers that help ASD teens transition. I am not saying this is right but what I would do because of where I am in my journey with this.
              log in or sign up to post a comment
              • because , I think, what you want is being able to recognize what NT people take for granted. 9-20-2018 10:27pm
                log in or sign up to post a comment
    • A speech therapist can help. Itís social/pragmatic skills therapy. (Speech therapist here) 9-20-2018 10:27pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • poster above and apologies for hijacking. Do you have experience or can you advise on how to help high functioning ASD teens/ people who refuse interventions ? where do you start?...(more) 9-20-2018 10:33pm
        gain, to op. sorry to take over your post
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Are you wanting to know how you yourself can help your teen? If youíre curious about social skills therapy you can look up Michelle Garcia Winner and learn...(more) 9-20-2018 10:39pm
          about her theories and techniques. She is the guru on treating pragmatic skills in patients with high functioning ASD. She has written several books and workbooks. If youíre asking how to convince your teen to work with a speech therapist, thatís a tough one. Maybe find one who offers group therapy with a group of other teens he/she likes being around? A good therapist will make sure the kid likes/enjoys working with them.
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • great advice thanks. my question, really was how to help him work with someone else because, try as I might, I get frustrated. but perhaps MGW books will help 9-20-2018 11:26pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
  22. Special Needs 12 yo DD with HFA was invited to typical friendsí Bat Mitzvah. Kids will all go to a Glow dance reception after parents not invited. She is a loner and immature.. do I send her...(more) 9-20-2018 8:15pm (16 replies)
    anyway? Burbs, btw
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Unless she has a pal who can hang out with her at the dance, I would not 9-20-2018 8:16pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • This post has been deleted. 9-20-2018 8:17pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • And I know... maybe 60 kids like her. Of course there are exceptions, but she needs some social support to manage high stimulation, crowds, middle school social demands, etc. 9-20-2018 8:19pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • This post has been deleted. 9-21-2018 6:49am
            log in or sign up to post a comment
    • how does she usually do in those big group social settings? are there any kids who could hang with her? 9-20-2018 8:16pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • It depends - sometimes she does well at family weddings and celebrations, sheís great at her school with peers like her, but with typical kids who are full of eye rolling and...(more) 9-20-2018 8:36pm
        judgement, I worry she will be a target
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Does she want to go? I'd send, and just have her text you when she's had enough - even if she stays 1-2 hours, that's fine. She has a cell, right? Half the time the kids spend...(more) 9-20-2018 8:17pm
      time on their phones, play games if they are there, dance a bit, eat a bit.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • YES. We had this exact situation last year and he had a blast. 9-20-2018 8:17pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • did he have any friends there? 9-20-2018 8:20pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • people were nice to him. that's all i asked 9-20-2018 8:21pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • Op - thatís all I can hope for too 9-20-2018 8:36pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Op - would it be weird if I called the bat mitzvah mom and asked if any of her acquaintances are invited. There are only 2 girls in the school who would hang with her... she goes...(more) 9-20-2018 8:26pm
      To a different an private school this year so sheís even more out of the loop. Part of me thinks she will have fun, part thinks she canít handle it and will be wildly inappropriate :-/
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • What if you sent her for one hour. And then go and pick her up at the hour mark and if she wants to stay longer ,she does? 9-20-2018 8:28pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Good idea:-) 9-20-2018 8:33pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • Your welcome! 9-20-2018 8:37pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Donít call that is weird 9-21-2018 6:50am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
  23. Special Needs 14 yo ASD ds, is frank and blunt in conversations. I try to point out to him when he says something that comes off as hurtful. I know it is not intentional so I want to make him...(more) 9-20-2018 8:05pm (6 replies)
    aware. He then internalizes it as me being unreasonable and hurtful to him. what would you do? stop pointing it out? social stuff is so hard for him. I'm trying to be helpful but worry I'm just making him feel bad.
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • can you ask him if he wants help, and if so, how he would like it? maybe if it's something he's more in control of, he will tolerate it better 9-20-2018 8:07pm
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • excellent suggestion, thank you so much. he is aware that he is blunt and frank and realizes not everyone is like that. your suggestion is so helpful to me. thank you 9-20-2018 8:09pm
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • good luck! 9-20-2018 8:11pm
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • Thank you. Sometimes something that seems so clear and reasonable is right outside my grasp. I'm glad I posted 9-20-2018 8:13pm
            log in or sign up to post a comment
            • i know. sometimes i drive myself crazy trying to figure out what's in my son's head and my dh was like, 'why don't you just ask?' 9-20-2018 8:14pm
              log in or sign up to post a comment
              • ^^not that that always works, but just the idea of thinking to ask is so obvious and yet so easy to forget 9-20-2018 8:15pm
                log in or sign up to post a comment
  24. Special Needs Can a child with a 504 plan get door-to-door transportation? 9-20-2018 11:17am (20 replies)
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • Depends what the 504 is for 9-20-2018 11:18am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • adhd 6 yr old 9-20-2018 11:19am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • No I would think it would only be due to a 504 because of physical limitations 9-20-2018 11:22am
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • this -- if your child has a mobility impairment, or something like epilepsy where a trained matron needs to watch over your dc 9-20-2018 11:30am
            log in or sign up to post a comment
            • ^a kid in my K dc's class has a 504 with door-to-door busing but he has leukemia for ex 9-20-2018 11:31am
              log in or sign up to post a comment
            • what about if your child is a flight risk--lacks safety awareness, can't stay still and may wander away? 9-20-2018 4:00pm
              log in or sign up to post a comment
              • Until the child gets on the bus the parent is responsible. One the child gets off, the parent is still responsible. It's like deciding at what age you would leave your dc home...(more) 9-20-2018 8:24pm
                alone, not a school-related matter.
                log in or sign up to post a comment
              • That would not differ if the bus stop was in front of your home or two blocks away 9-21-2018 8:48am
                log in or sign up to post a comment
        • op: asking because we haven't signed plan as it says nothing about transportation and currently the school bus has a location nearly two blocks away--our impulsive 6 yr old would...(more) 9-20-2018 11:23am
          never have the patience to wait around for a bus especially in inclement weather...He also lacks safety awareness/boundaries...how can we advocate for door to door transportation?
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • You are going to have to wait with your 6 yo lole most parents of 6 yo 9-20-2018 11:25am
            log in or sign up to post a comment
          • For a 6 year old the expectation is that you will wait at the bus stop with your child. What if the bus were late? ADHD does not entitle you to door-to-door transportation. And in...(more) 9-20-2018 11:29am
            NYC fwiw two blocks away is very close!
            log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I highly doubt it. Very limited services with a 504, mostly accommodations 9-20-2018 11:21am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • op: thx unaware first time plan 9-20-2018 11:30am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
      • Right. You're gonna get low-stim environment for testing, and preferential seating, and movement breaks 9-20-2018 11:36am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • You can occasionally get actual services. My ds got a once a week pull out for writing on a 504 in fifth grade, as well as a social skills group, but I think transportation on a...(more) 9-20-2018 11:44am
          504 for adhd is a big lift.
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • op: thx.. yes, a friend got OT 2x/week for her child in a Suffolk County public school 9-20-2018 11:45am
            log in or sign up to post a comment
          • That's related to a specific diagnosis other than ADHD I would assume. 9-20-2018 11:47am
            log in or sign up to post a comment
            • Yes, ASD diagnosis. 9-20-2018 11:49am
              log in or sign up to post a comment
            • op: no, he had visual impairment and adhd 9-20-2018 3:59pm
              log in or sign up to post a comment
    • I was able to get busing for anxiety/school refusal ds. 9-23-2018 2:32am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
  25. Special Needs I need some uplifting anecdotes...11th grader in LD school has been seriously bad about homework since 9th grade...he can barely write an essay and says he wants to be an actor...(more) 9-20-2018 9:11am (10 replies)
    but won't even try for school play because it's Shakespeare (shock and horrors - but I guess that lofty dream is out)...I just want him to apply and get in to some/any college and if he doesn't want to go, fine, gap year or some other program so he has options and to see what else might be his calling...but right now, I honestly don't even think he can get in. He would never want to go to an LD college because he doesn't see himself fitting into that population. NVLD with ADHD and low self esteem...
    permalink | log in or sign up to post a comment
    • What else does he like? It sounds like college is your dream, not his. 9-20-2018 9:12am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • it will be his dream if all his friends go. he does go to a prep school...technical career sure but he's lousy with his motor skills, writing, even using scissors is a chore for...(more) 9-20-2018 9:14am
        him...loves and is pretty good at history, memorizing so maybe one day some sort of guide...anyway - I'm hopeful he can at least pull himself together and get some kind of discipline because THAT is the skill he will need no matter he goes to college or has a tech career or just has to live somewhere and pay rent!
        log in or sign up to post a comment
    • maybe think more about a technical career? like a skills based program 9-20-2018 9:12am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • You should spend a couple weekends visiting a couple widely varied schools: maritime, SUNY, slac. Get him thinking 9-20-2018 9:17am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • it is indeed starting...we'll be in NOLA and see 3 tiers of schools - even the top. My thinking is he shoujld see even a major reach. I don't want him to think I wouldn't have...(more) 9-20-2018 9:20am
        him consider it. He is bright just not a performer...anyway - seeing and feeling schools will bring this slowly into greater sense of reality for him, hopefully.
        log in or sign up to post a comment
        • Loyola/New Orleans is a beautiful school and not hard to get into 9-20-2018 9:23am
          log in or sign up to post a comment
          • checking out UNO too :) 9-20-2018 10:15am
            log in or sign up to post a comment
    • community college? Explore technical/specific programs based on what he likes? 9-20-2018 9:25am
      log in or sign up to post a comment
    • How does he spend his time since he's not doing homework or studying? Does he work a job now? Often employment can help self esteem. I don't know if the traditional middle class...(more) 9-20-2018 10:19am
      away from home college experience is right for your ds (I personally wouldn't encourage that now), but I think employment and skills for employment can help a kid who is not a traditional 4 year college student.
      log in or sign up to post a comment
      • lol. on his phone, watching tv, talking to friends, playing with friends. 9-20-2018 10:32am
        log in or sign up to post a comment
next page »