Special Needs
- Special Needs We have made a big mistake sending our young ds w/ adhd to private school...it is not working out and the rigorous academics is causing stress...we don't know what to do
- How old?
- age 5
- young for ADHD dx. Who evaluated him?
- pschologist and dev. pediatrician
- Rigorous academics??
- young for ADHD dx. Who evaluated him?
- age 5
- where do you live?
- long island
- Back to public?
- Is it specifically for adhd?
- behavioral and sensory issues....they want us to hire aide full day. we can't afford it
- Be glad they aren't pretending he's fine & taking your money. What's your public district?
- we paid half year upfront and next half is due in two weeks :(
- Don't pay it. Leave.
- Kids it goodbye. This will be misery for you and him for years. My son is only now under control in 3rd grade. And that is with meds, and years of cbt therapy and social...(more)
- we paid half year upfront and next half is due in two weeks :(
- Oh god. Btdt- back to public, stat
- this. you can enter public mid-year with meme days' notice
- If he was in public wouldn't they provide support needed?
- Only if he's significantly behind academically.
- If he gets an IEP they must provide support
- He only gets an IEP if he's academically behind by a certain amount. They'll wait until he gets that far behind, and OP loses time & its harder to help the kid at 7 than it is at...(more)
- Because he has been dc with ADHD I don't believe they wait
- He only gets an IEP if he's academically behind by a certain amount. They'll wait until he gets that far behind, and OP loses time & its harder to help the kid at 7 than it is at...(more)
- If he gets an IEP they must provide support
- Only if he's significantly behind academically.
- Be glad they aren't pretending he's fine & taking your money. What's your public district?
- behavioral and sensory issues....they want us to hire aide full day. we can't afford it
- The more you do now the better. Leave. Do private OT & speech, get whatever services you can in school.
- Take him out and put in public school. A 5 year old should not have rigorous academics. With an adhd dx they will give him some accommodations, but I bet you will see many 5 year...(more)
- what do u mean u will see many 5 year olds like him? in public school? how come not in private?
- I thought OP was saying this was a very rigorous, academic private school. Therefore they select the kids who are "ahead". Public school has a wider variety of kids maturity...(more)
- because private schools do not want kids like your ds
- ^nor do other private school parents. public schools take everyone
- what do u mean u will see many 5 year olds like him? in public school? how come not in private?
- How old?
- Special Needs DD just had a neuro-psych which we got because she is doing so well we wanted a fresh one. Made very clear to NP that we were not looking to get more accommodations but to show...(more)
- how old is dd?
- 17. This is for college, so that they can see what she brings to the table (isn't just a score). DD is outgoing, great personality, motivated. Zero of that in report. Just what...(more)
- Respectfully, two things...one, did you plan to submit the neuropsych report as part of the college application? To a mainstream college? And two, whenever we"ve done this,...(more)
- ask them to change it--have a meeting!
- Or...you don't even need a meeting. Call, reiterate that you want to highlight her strengths in this one. The np is very probably not used to that.
- We will ask for re-write but this is so off what we talked to her about on several occasions. This is for special college programs where you apply directly to the special...(more)
- ask them to change it--have a meeting!
- Respectfully, two things...one, did you plan to submit the neuropsych report as part of the college application? To a mainstream college? And two, whenever we"ve done this,...(more)
- 17. This is for college, so that they can see what she brings to the table (isn't just a score). DD is outgoing, great personality, motivated. Zero of that in report. Just what...(more)
- how old is dd?
- Special Needs Doctor wants to start db on concerta and for some reason I'm sad and upset.
- What's Concerta?
- DB?? How old?
- Son. 7
- how old?
- Why are you?
- I'm scared it will change his personality I guess?
- That is something to talk to the dr about. Every parent whose kid is prescribed meds is nervous. But it's usually about The Unknown. If you see a true personality change you need...(more)
- Thank you. Would love a support network of other parents in NYC for ADHD. Does that exist?
- If you're on FB, join Special Moms Network
- Thanks! How do I tell him he is starting meds?
- np, I told my son in very few words, something like, you know how school is really hard for you (or sitting or social interaction or whatever it is that is hard for him)?...(more)
- Thanks! How do I tell him he is starting meds?
- If you're on FB, join Special Moms Network
- Thank you. Would love a support network of other parents in NYC for ADHD. Does that exist?
- np, I think this is a normal fear, medicine, especially daily medicine, is scary, and there is so much (sometimes uninfomed, sometimes not) rhetoric against "posioniong" your...(more)
- you can stop it as easily as you start
- That is something to talk to the dr about. Every parent whose kid is prescribed meds is nervous. But it's usually about The Unknown. If you see a true personality change you need...(more)
- I'm scared it will change his personality I guess?
- I take vyvanse. I get it but if it helps DS, there is no reason to feel bad.
- Know that stimulants meds go in and out of the body in less than a day. So if DS tries it and doesn't like it or you don't, just don't give it again.
- Special Needs If your DC has been counseled out of school, how did the school help you find a suitable placement? (11yo DS, ASD, Anxiety).
- In Westchester, they send a packet with info to various programs. If a program accepts your dc, you are invited to visit. You don't have to accept the placement if you don't...(more)
- private! Where?
- Sorry, I'm not familiar with private programs only BOCES
- private! Where?
- In Westchester, they send a packet with info to various programs. If a program accepts your dc, you are invited to visit. You don't have to accept the placement if you don't...(more)
- Special Needs Interesting overview of learning disability types. I guess disorders like adhd are not LD, but may include them...(more)
- LDS have very specific parameters
- Special Needs What qualifies a kid as twice exceptional?
- just like it sounds
- they test as gifted and they have a formal diagnosis that confirms the SN
- ^ a SN (such as adhd, autism spectrum disorder etc)
- Gifted IQ and a learning disability
- exeptionally smart while being exceptionally disabled
- :(
- wait, so if my ds is a genius at math, but he has a bum leg, he is twice exceptional?
- np: come on, now.
- she said disabled
- well, if the "bum leg" is a disability requiring support, perhaps. I don't see how a physical issue would cause issues in school, though.
- if the pain prevented dc from concentrating, possibly. But I hope that isn't the case!
- that might keep a kid from attending school? but it wouldn't cause any educational issues. There would be no reason that kid would have issues accessing appropriate classes.
- We're in crazy hypothetical land, but couldn't there be a situation where dc can't sit still for extended periods of time, so maybe he needs breaks allowed during tests? So that...(more)
- yes, it seems unlikely that the physical disability would cause issues with that
- We're in crazy hypothetical land, but couldn't there be a situation where dc can't sit still for extended periods of time, so maybe he needs breaks allowed during tests? So that...(more)
- that might keep a kid from attending school? but it wouldn't cause any educational issues. There would be no reason that kid would have issues accessing appropriate classes.
- ^the point is that if a kid has a neurological issue and is also intellectually gifted, there are going to be challenges in educating that child.
- physical disabilities are disabilities. wtf???
- yes, I understand that. But unless all the honors courses are offered in rooms only accessible via ladders or something, it's not an issue.
- and? what does that have to do with the label of twice exceptional?
- np: my only experience with this label is when it has been used by parents whose children are in the academic advanced / gifted school, but children get accommodations. When else...(more)
- students with physical disabilities need accommodations as well
- sure. and if child is in gifted program and needs school accommodations, I'd think child would be 2e.
- yes, they do. and?
- students with physical disabilities need accommodations as well
- np: my only experience with this label is when it has been used by parents whose children are in the academic advanced / gifted school, but children get accommodations. When else...(more)
- and? what does that have to do with the label of twice exceptional?
- yes, I understand that. But unless all the honors courses are offered in rooms only accessible via ladders or something, it's not an issue.
- if the pain prevented dc from concentrating, possibly. But I hope that isn't the case!
- well, if the "bum leg" is a disability requiring support, perhaps. I don't see how a physical issue would cause issues in school, though.
- she said disabled
- I'd say he's twice exceptional! But I don't think he fits the academic definition.
- np: come on, now.
- in my (limited) experience, it is not EXCEPTIONALLY disabled. This kids I've known are ADD or ADHD or have fine-motor issues, etc.
- my above average iq kid w adhd and apraxia and sensory issues..and my other ds has a high enough IQ but is severely dyslexic
- I believe iq needs to be in gifted range (2 std deviations above mean)
- their verbal scores are but their overall get taken down by slow processing
- Some people are just so desperate to get that "gifted" tag. Doesn't matter if the kid can't function in the world.
- im not one of those people. They struggle so whether or not they are gifted is a non starter.
- ^^however as their parent it is frustrating because people that don't know them only see the negative side of it (disruptive, requiring a lot of teacher intervention) and not how...(more)
- im not one of those people. They struggle so whether or not they are gifted is a non starter.
- Some people are just so desperate to get that "gifted" tag. Doesn't matter if the kid can't function in the world.
- their verbal scores are but their overall get taken down by slow processing
- I believe iq needs to be in gifted range (2 std deviations above mean)
- my ds is 2e. he's brilliant but has ADHD and gets terrible grades :(. In the things he's interested in, he can do work several grade levels above but struggles to do basic...(more)
- Gifted IQ, Batshit crazy.
- This is my sister. She's fucking brilliant. But she's also fucking insane. Pretty sure borderline.
- This post has been disliked 6 times. Nothing. It's a term invented for parents of troubled kids so they feel better. "My son does poorly in school and acts up because he's SO BORED because he's so fucking...(more)
- I am sorry for whatever challenges you deal with.
- Perhaps you should not follow the special needs board
- amen.
- Way to like your own reply, dickweed.
- you don't have a clue what you are talking about.
- 2e is not limited to high IQ. It good be gifted in music, acting, politics, EQ, etc. Gifted in one area.
- Being gift in one area and having a disability that limits the ability to perform in the gifted area(s).
- Special Needs This post has been deleted.
- that's kind of bizarre. I think it's nice to go get a home-cooked dinner.
- Special Needs This post has been deleted.
- I'd ignore as much as I could/
- Special Needs DD is 4th grade (just turned 10) and has ADHD. She's always had problems regulating her emotions and it just doesn't seem to be getting any better. I try to keep her on trakc in...(more)
- Is this a new behavior? How do you react? The holy hammer of hell would come down in my house if my dc ever spoke to me like that.
- Do you have a kid with ADHD?
- Yes, two in fact.
- Well, you are lucky that it doesn't impact your kids' emotions the way it does my dd.
- I don't believe you
- I do, and I apologize if my post sounded unsympathetic. My kids do go off and express frustration and anger, but I do punish them for directing hateful and disrespectful...(more)
- Yes, two in fact.
- Your ADHD kid doesn't go off on you or lose it semi-regularly?
- Do you have a kid with ADHD?
- Add that to the 10 year old hormo a of a girl and you’re dealing with a lot
- BTDT - If she's not in weekly CBT therapy - do it NOW. It helps tremendously. I'm assuming she's medicated. Lastly - do everything at night to prepare for the AM. Only wake her to...(more)
- Can you tell me more about CBT therapy? We can't do it right now - dd is in tutoring for dyslexia and we don't have the time/money to do both. But can you tell me more about CBT...(more)
- It's basically therapy that is goal oriented. You talk about issues and goals toward correcting them rather than just talking
- Okay, thanks. We need it but cannot start for another year.
- It's basically therapy that is goal oriented. You talk about issues and goals toward correcting them rather than just talking
- Can you tell me more about CBT therapy? We can't do it right now - dd is in tutoring for dyslexia and we don't have the time/money to do both. But can you tell me more about CBT...(more)
- I would not be jumping to bipolar or bpd ... IME, kids with ADHD hate when you get on their case about doing things they should be doing. It makes them feel shitty because they...(more)
- Thanks for chiming in. Right now, she cannot cannot get calm enough to come up with strategies for her morning routine. And she's terrible at predicting time, understanding time....(more)
- That sounds very ADHD to me. She's overwhelmed. Maybe start smaller? Break the routine apart so she gets a reward for one small thing that you know she can do? Gl, I know it's...(more)
- Thanks. Okay, maybe breaking it down would help. Seems like a longer list might overwhelm but we've not tried breaking it down in smaller chunks. Thanks. Mondays are particularly...(more)
- I know, I get it :) It's really hard to figure a way out of the nagging/resentment/anger ADHD dynamic.
- Thanks. Okay, maybe breaking it down would help. Seems like a longer list might overwhelm but we've not tried breaking it down in smaller chunks. Thanks. Mondays are particularly...(more)
- Have you tried a checklist? Brreak it down to a list, laminate so she can check off as she finishes each thing if she likes. Put i in the right order for her.
- I think we are going to do this visualization thing w/ a reward. We've had checklists before but not for about a year or so. Always need to try new things.
- That sounds very ADHD to me. She's overwhelmed. Maybe start smaller? Break the routine apart so she gets a reward for one small thing that you know she can do? Gl, I know it's...(more)
- Thanks for chiming in. Right now, she cannot cannot get calm enough to come up with strategies for her morning routine. And she's terrible at predicting time, understanding time....(more)
- She needs a firm consequence for speaking to you that way. Every time. Doesn't have to be large but has to be real -- e.g. 5 min of ipad time
- Is this a new behavior? How do you react? The holy hammer of hell would come down in my house if my dc ever spoke to me like that.
- Special Needs 9yo has been a classic case of anxiety since a toddler. He did CBT which helped. When I took him to a psychiatrist last year to see about meds, she thought it was more about ADD...(more)
- Rug time? Isn't he way too old for that?
- not in his school, no, they meet at the rug when they do some instruction
- What kind of school is this?
- a public school, why?
- Mine too. I don't think they necessarily call it rug time but they do sit on the rug for instruction
- OP: yes, it's not really called rug time but I am describing when they go to the rug area to have a discussion etc. This isn't how it is all day. The classroom is large and has...(more)
- Same here
- OP: yes, it's not really called rug time but I am describing when they go to the rug area to have a discussion etc. This isn't how it is all day. The classroom is large and has...(more)
- What kind of school is this?
- not in his school, no, they meet at the rug when they do some instruction
- Reg psych shouldn't diagnose ADHD. You need a neuropsych, double board certified in neurology and psych
- Should I pay $5K though if it seems like anxiety to me? I was thinking of trying anxiety meds first?
- Then you'll need a different child psych to diagnose and prescribe since the first one doesn't agree with you
- She gave us a blood thinner which didn't do anything. I will have to look for someone else then.
- Um wtf?
- sorry, blood pressure meds, non stim drug that is sometimes used to treat ADHD.
- Oh clonidine
- yes, it didn't do anything
- Oh clonidine
- sorry, blood pressure meds, non stim drug that is sometimes used to treat ADHD.
- Um wtf?
- She gave us a blood thinner which didn't do anything. I will have to look for someone else then.
- Then you'll need a different child psych to diagnose and prescribe since the first one doesn't agree with you
- A regular ped pyschIATRIST can. Not a psychologist.
- What are you talking about? Of course, a psychologist can diagnose adhd!!
- Cannot treat it legally.
- This post has been deleted.
- Cannot treat it legally.
- What are you talking about? Of course, a psychologist can diagnose adhd!!
- Should I pay $5K though if it seems like anxiety to me? I was thinking of trying anxiety meds first?
- We went through this with my DS. His psychologist thought there was ADHD, so sent us to neuropsych. The test results were inconclusive, but she dx'd on the strength on the...(more)
- thank you
- My dd started showing symptoms in 3rd grade - not surprising, runs in the family, esp. older sister. Our psych feels they are tightly woven together (the ADD and the anxiety) and...(more)
- np sounds similar to my ds. diagnosed with GAD in 4th grade. but struggled in 7th and 8th and then got a diagnosis of ADD too. he's on vyvanse and paxil. seems to be getting...(more)
- Ime, teachers tend to be very wrong about this. I dont mean to disparage yours, she may be the rare insightful, well-informed one. I've had a few flat-out deny dd's textbook...(more)
- Teacher is very experienced but I know that she is not a doctor. I guess we are going to have to see what meds work. We're not seeing the hyperactivity component but it's hard...(more)
- Same here. No sign at school it's ADD because there was never any hyperactivity. Just "she needs to focus more and work harder". Which is why, like so many ADD girls, she was Dxd...(more)
- Np. True. My ds's teacher was flat out wrong, but I find it's very hard to change initial impressions. That goes for some psych professionals too.
- Teacher is very experienced but I know that she is not a doctor. I guess we are going to have to see what meds work. We're not seeing the hyperactivity component but it's hard...(more)
- What are the tantrums about? Is there any trigger or commonality? That could be telling. ADHD and anxiety can be very hard to tease apart, especially if he's having anxiety about...(more)
- The tantrums could be a sibling teasing for example, so he is triggered by that, then tries to hit sibling or get physical, overly angry and then cries and can't get himself out...(more)
- I would find a different psych. Often anxiety looks like adhd
- Going to, thank you.
- Np: ITA about second opinion. It sounds like the anxiety is much more of a problem than any attention issue. Meanwhile, as a separate approach from meds, CBT is very effective...(more)
- Going to, thank you.
- Hello us! Especially on the holding it together at school/losing it at home. We did the neuropsych route, "at risk variant for ADHD." But that doesn't really help much.
- You need to see a different psychiatrist. These things can be hard to diagnose in one visit and you don't have confidence in this one. I agree with CBT -at least the therapist...(more)
- ^Since you are not looking for learning issues I would not spend thousands on a neuropsychologist at this time.
- Rug time? Isn't he way too old for that?
- Special Needs Any BTDT? My ADHD/HFA 9yo is a mess in groups. He does great at school in a self-contained classroom with 2x/week social skills. But any time we're in a big group -- like this...(more)
- we did social skills from age 5-8 and helped a lot. Can you google to look for groups in your area? Ours was run by a SN teacher in a CBT-type setting
- ^^^ds is also in talk-therapy with a psychologist each week. Also CBT, also really hepful
- Yes, as above, he's already gets social skills 2x/week with school psychologist and behaviorist (who are both wonderful)
- group dynamic is hard, and if he's not closely supervised now might not be the time to release him into large activities without an adult who is skilled at supervising
- My dh was there the whole time, but he said he felt like he was contstantly pulling him out and giving negative feedback and then feeling awful about it. I feel like we need...(more)
- that is a great idea, if it is available. sometimes it is all about the smaller things you can do to facilitate and help.
- Re: your dh above. Can I suggest you talk to your behaviorist about constant negative feedback. It's counter productive. And men *your dh* are the slowest in getting this...(more)
- Dh was aware but said he didn't know how to "change the narrative" in the moment. I think we could all use help with that.
- np - I posted below. It's going to be an uphill battle to change the narrative at a large group event when you are not in a position to change other's behavior, there's no...(more)
- Dh was aware but said he didn't know how to "change the narrative" in the moment. I think we could all use help with that.
- My dh was there the whole time, but he said he felt like he was contstantly pulling him out and giving negative feedback and then feeling awful about it. I feel like we need...(more)
- I approach this with DS by just staying away from loosely structured, larger group activities. I stopped putting him in situations where he was guaranteed to fail, and supported...(more)
- This. It's a long way from a SC classroom to a cub scout camping trip which is longer, less structured, lacks trained staff, etc. OP, your dh was not in a position to remake the...(more)
- Op: Thank you for all the thoughts. I think we should replace Cub Scouts with a smaller group activity for now. Will have my dh read this too.
- GL. But consider a happy medium- weekly meetings, part of camping trip only for now
- we did social skills from age 5-8 and helped a lot. Can you google to look for groups in your area? Ours was run by a SN teacher in a CBT-type setting
- Special Needs This post has been deleted.
- Special Needs Is ECFS good with ADHD kids
- no, i would say not. they are good with bright kids that can stay focused. ds had issues with focus, and it definitely would not have flown if you threw in the "h".
- Where is he now?
- still at ecfs
- Still struggle!
- he's doing fine at this point, but ethical doesn't deal well with hyperactive kids.
- Still struggle!
- still at ecfs
- Where is he now?
- no, i would say not. they are good with bright kids that can stay focused. ds had issues with focus, and it definitely would not have flown if you threw in the "h".
- Special Needs Best school for twice gifted kids Manhattan or Brooklyn?
- wtf is twice gifted???
- This post has been disliked 4 times. It's not called twice gifted, moron. It's twice exceptional
- Quad
- Age? Spec Ed Issues? Agree with Quad. Some mainstream schools MIGHT be ok depending upon needs.
- Special Needs Thoughts on twice gifted schools in NYC?
- wtf is a twice gifted school
- Like autism plus high iq, but it's not called twice gifted its twice exceptional.
- wtf is a twice gifted school
- Special Needs Awful night. 8 yo asd ds had a panic attack, kept saying he wants to kill himself
- Oh my gosh. What set him off?
- He's still wetting the bed/feels like a failure/dh barked at him about not eating dinner
- Poor thing. Have you spoken to ped?
- I was recommended to autism integrative care unit and we are still filling out profiles, forms. They recommended sleep study and psychologists. I need to move faster on getting...(more)
- Maybe he will feel a little better once a plan comes together.
- He has a really complicated medical history and I've watched him nearly die on a handful of occasions. I think I'm in shock. I expect he will feel better tomorrow. Not sure how...(more)
- thats sounds scary.
- He has a really complicated medical history and I've watched him nearly die on a handful of occasions. I think I'm in shock. I expect he will feel better tomorrow. Not sure how...(more)
- Maybe he will feel a little better once a plan comes together.
- I was recommended to autism integrative care unit and we are still filling out profiles, forms. They recommended sleep study and psychologists. I need to move faster on getting...(more)
- :(
- My 8yo still wears a pull up. Does your ds know that it's regulated by a specific hormone? Anti diuretic hormone. His hasn't built up enough - it's on the older end of normal but...(more)
- Ah-thanks! He would really like to know that. He also takes melatonin for difficulty falling asleep and that may complicate too
- Poor thing. Have you spoken to ped?
- He's still wetting the bed/feels like a failure/dh barked at him about not eating dinner
- aww, i'm so so sorry :( my ds has very bad anxiety and was saying these kinds of things when he was about 9-10. we put him on medicine, it's helped tremendously. is your ds on...(more)
- No! They suggested that was some far off extreme solution. I'm all for anything that will alleviate his pain. What does your son take?
- We started ds on Fluoxetine (which is essentially Prozac) when we was around 8. He's 12 now. We've weaned him off a couple of times, but in the end, we had to go back to it and...(more)
- Thanks
- Good luck. Sounds like the poor babe is struggling. Sending you hugs.
- Thanks
- We started ds on Fluoxetine (which is essentially Prozac) when we was around 8. He's 12 now. We've weaned him off a couple of times, but in the end, we had to go back to it and...(more)
- No! They suggested that was some far off extreme solution. I'm all for anything that will alleviate his pain. What does your son take?
- If in the tri-state area go see Shumyle Alam, MD, pediatric urologist. Wish that I got to him sooner....(more)
- What was Dr AlaM's approach?
- First he teases out of it's behavioral or developmental. For my son it was better urinary hygiene. Go to the bathroom every three hours, cut out acidic drinks, no drinking after...(more)
- What was Dr AlaM's approach?
- So sorry! My 7 yo ds was in a similar state this past week. He has intrusive thoughts and told me he wanted to get a gun and shoot himself in the head to make them stop. I...(more)
- Oh my gosh. What set him off?
- Special Needs Anyone have an LD child in college or if you've looked at colleges? My LD senior in HS is applying but we have very little time to go see schools so I am trying to get a read on...(more)
- There's a book that lists colleges with good support systems:...(more)
- Salt program at U of Arizona. also consider an independent college counselor who specializes in this
- We me once with one who basically said her lowest price package is $2500 and we don't need that much support for applications, just where to apply. I didn't know if anyone here...(more)
- Salt program at U of Arizona. also consider an independent college counselor who specializes in this
- What kind of LD does she have? I would look at the colleges acceptances for kids from LD schools like Gow, Forman, etc... what does she want to study?
- She has language based issues - dyslexia. She doesn't know yet what she wants t major in, possibly psychology, education or a health related field.
- I know a kid with dyslexia at Skidmore. Seems to be working out OK. Also, UVM has LD support, I believe. Not sure if it's their forte, but it's there.
- She has language based issues - dyslexia. She doesn't know yet what she wants t major in, possibly psychology, education or a health related field.
- i've heard from friends that Marist has excellent support
- Do they have kids there? My DD is not a great student and I worry that Marist may be too...(more)
- yes but he graduated.. he was a so-so student -- he was only willing to work onthings he was interested in
- Thanks.
- yes but he graduated.. he was a so-so student -- he was only willing to work onthings he was interested in
- Marist has an actual program for dyslexic students. My ds goes to The Windward School. It might be worth a shot to call them. They are super tuned into supprt for students with...(more)
- Do they have kids there? My DD is not a great student and I worry that Marist may be too...(more)
- Check out American, Muhlenberg, Fairleigh Dickinson, also look at college acceptances on Marvelwood school website.
- ^Marist
- You need to determine how much support you think your dc will need. Some schools have special programs but every school has an office of student disabilities and kids get...(more)
- Thanks! I think we are looking for a school that keeps some track of kids through a support program. If any of your Das friends are in a school like that and are happy let me...(more)
- The only ones that are know are not happy is one kid at Pace and another kid at Landmark. But could just be that it's a poor fit for those kids
- Thanks! I think we are looking for a school that keeps some track of kids through a support program. If any of your Das friends are in a school like that and are happy let me...(more)
- There's a book that lists colleges with good support systems:...(more)
- Special Needs Puberty is kicking 13 year old DS butt. The past two months he has a horrible vocal tic. Are there any natural treatments or such to consider?
- I don't think puberty produces tics. I would check with doctor. If taking meds, follow up with psych
- Yes it does. The hormonal surges can bring them out in a kid predisposed. Per our dr.
- Np: I hate answers like this. If you have nothing to contribute to help, why even respons
- I don't think puberty produces tics. I would check with doctor. If taking meds, follow up with psych
- Special Needs Very low am with ds. I behaved like him, to him today and as if I didn't hate myself enough I do even more today. I wish I was dead. No, I wish someone somewhere would actually...(more)
- Are you the single mom who posts fairly regularly? You need a break but if you’re who I think you are, I’m not sure how you will get one.
- yes probably. this is my only outlet. our psych is useless, the system is useless, we have no family here, I have no support, I work and pay for everything alone. I have no...(more)
- I know it’s hard to imagine trying a new therapist when you’re this low but I imagine there is someone out there who can help you. YOU need your own therapist. Regardless of what...(more)
- op-yes I know. I don't know why it's so hard to find someone. It's been years of different people trying to help and they are all so wishy washy and don't ever actually make a...(more)
- Np; do you have help for you? Family therapy? In home skills training?
- not now. I have had to pay myself and what a bunch of useless people we have had...the last one was nice but his approach was a bit odd, better with younger kids and he really had...(more)
- Np; do you have help for you? Family therapy? In home skills training?
- op-yes I know. I don't know why it's so hard to find someone. It's been years of different people trying to help and they are all so wishy washy and don't ever actually make a...(more)
- I know it’s hard to imagine trying a new therapist when you’re this low but I imagine there is someone out there who can help you. YOU need your own therapist. Regardless of what...(more)
- yes probably. this is my only outlet. our psych is useless, the system is useless, we have no family here, I have no support, I work and pay for everything alone. I have no...(more)
- op-I said I can't live like this with this behaviour. I know you have a hard time and need help but if you can manage to not do that everywhere else then you can also manage to...(more)
- I’ve done that with dd before - imitating her behavior to show her what it’s like. She, too, claims that what I did was more severe, less warranted, whatever - than her behavior....(more)
- thank you. I look back over how many years of me yelling at him after so much frustration and putting up with so much shit from him and I just think I have ruined him and made it...(more)
- np-you don't. You have to enlist help in the form of family therapy and skills training. No one is equipped to parent like this. You need as much help as he does.
- thank you. I look back over how many years of me yelling at him after so much frustration and putting up with so much shit from him and I just think I have ruined him and made it...(more)
- Ask the dr. about going back on zoloft for anxiety.
- I’ve done that with dd before - imitating her behavior to show her what it’s like. She, too, claims that what I did was more severe, less warranted, whatever - than her behavior....(more)
- He needs a therapeutic boarding school. You both need a break
- I would absolutely look into boarding school or therapeutic boarding school.
- how? with what money? I have been so stuck for so long I make absolute crap money. I have no help. I have barely ever been able to hold a job long because it's constant taking him...(more)
- Np: does he have a social worker? If so, you can get respite care and a Pca to help you. Also it opens the door to more services.
- He has a youth worker in his school class program, we have a psych at childrens mental health hospital where we have always gone, there was a social worker there he met with me...(more)
- Local social services department. Child mental health.
- are you in nyc?
- no
- np: not in nyc. similar story here but dh and I could front the money for the therapeutic boarding school. it has been transformative. we have a new kid and a new family. we are...(more)
- That's so good to hear, it makes me so sad to think of having him go away. I feel so much guilt that it's all because of me that he acts like this. Or something I did. He's always...(more)
- np: not in nyc. similar story here but dh and I could front the money for the therapeutic boarding school. it has been transformative. we have a new kid and a new family. we are...(more)
- no
- He has a youth worker in his school class program, we have a psych at childrens mental health hospital where we have always gone, there was a social worker there he met with me...(more)
- The social worker at your school.
- ^^surrender him to foster care.
- no way. I may need a break but I can't do that to him.
- ^^surrender him to foster care.
- Np: does he have a social worker? If so, you can get respite care and a Pca to help you. Also it opens the door to more services.
- how? with what money? I have been so stuck for so long I make absolute crap money. I have no help. I have barely ever been able to hold a job long because it's constant taking him...(more)
- new meds
- so hard, he's been on so many over the years. always reacted poorly to stimulants and non stim even...kind of like how he is being now but worse...complete and utter losing it...(more)
- NP maybe he needs a break from all the meds. maybe they've played havoc with his system.
- Yes I wonder about that too.
- NP maybe he needs a break from all the meds. maybe they've played havoc with his system.
- so hard, he's been on so many over the years. always reacted poorly to stimulants and non stim even...kind of like how he is being now but worse...complete and utter losing it...(more)
- I am so sorry for your situation. I can't imagine how you hang in. It seems new meds might help. I do not think it awful that you demonstrated his behavior. The next time he...(more)
- thanks. it did feel good kind of. but at the same time he started screaming again and I just wanted to either shake him or hug him. it was awful. I have conflicting emotions 24...(more)
- Please remember you did not ruin him. I hope things get better. Somehow.
- thank you. somehow. they must :(
- Please remember you did not ruin him. I hope things get better. Somehow.
- thanks. it did feel good kind of. but at the same time he started screaming again and I just wanted to either shake him or hug him. it was awful. I have conflicting emotions 24...(more)
- You have the 13yo? I recognize you because my 11yo is similar. Can you get any respite services?
- I moved from screaming to psycho and threatened to burn all of DS clothes in front of his school. I think psycho scared him straight. I feel awful about it, but I am at the end...(more)
- You need to get help. Seriously. Call a suicide hotline because your behavior is that level crazy.
- does your state have an autism waiver or department of social services? or a good social worker at the school? there has to be some sort of public agency whose resources you can...(more)
- Your relationship is not destroyed. You must, however, forgive yourself. Being compassionate first with YOU. It's reasonable compassion, not self-pity. You must treat yourself as...(more)
- You're human, you lost it. What mother (who actually mothers her children) hasn't? we all have. You're not broken, you're not horrible, you're not evil, You're human. You...(more)
- whatever happens you cannot give in to negative thinking. You are really doing an amazing job holding it all together. Hang in there, parenting is HARD work if you're doing it...(more)
- You're human, you lost it. What mother (who actually mothers her children) hasn't? we all have. You're not broken, you're not horrible, you're not evil, You're human. You...(more)
- You both need a break, go have some fun or something.
- Has he been on meds like abilify or other mood or anti-psychotic meds - there are various ones used to help people regulate themselves and their rage and can be very effective.
- Yes he's on abilify now. 5mg. Since February because his "tantrums" had become full on violent rages throwing things and really out of it losing it. However he was on Zoloft still...(more)
- Has the abilify helped at all? Also 5mg not very much depending on his height/weight.
- Well he doesn't have the full on destructive rages at all. But he also stopped the Zoloft at the exact same time. So again I have no idea if the Zoloft was contributing or not....(more)
- Is it possible the school is not the right one for him? Is he in SN school?
- Well he doesn't have the full on destructive rages at all. But he also stopped the Zoloft at the exact same time. So again I have no idea if the Zoloft was contributing or not....(more)
- Has the abilify helped at all? Also 5mg not very much depending on his height/weight.
- Yes he's on abilify now. 5mg. Since February because his "tantrums" had become full on violent rages throwing things and really out of it losing it. However he was on Zoloft still...(more)
- I say this with compassion - you are most of the problem. Doctors, therapists, schools - everyone is "useless." Maybe they knew something you don't. What you are doing isn't...(more)
- A compassionate poster would use different phrasing. It's really hard being a single mother w/o the proper support.
- As someone who has tens of, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars with "experts," that are supposed to know more than me and supposed to help and have produced very little...(more)
- Op-thank you, this.
- Op-they aren't useless per se and I do not say no to any help. I fight for it and beg for it, I have for years. Having to use free government help is not easy. They aren't...(more)
- If not a therapeutic boarding school, would some kind of stay in psychiatric hospital or "partial hospitalization," program be available and/or covered by insurance? Where do you...(more)
- That's been discussed before but he does too well in every other area (not academically) ie socially he's good with friends now, he's fine with teachers and extracurricular...(more)
- When my child reaches a point where behavior is so bad, I leave - either the room or even the house and I have told him I cannot be him when he behaves that way, I need a break....(more)
- Yes and I do all the time. That's what the last therapist said. Just leave the house when he does this. So basically I am out of the house 95% of the time. It's every interaction...(more)
- How about trying to pick your battles - don't worry about showering (if he is social, at some point he will care if he stinks), messy bedroom (just shut the door), respeciting you...(more)
- Yes and I do all the time. That's what the last therapist said. Just leave the house when he does this. So basically I am out of the house 95% of the time. It's every interaction...(more)
- Slap him
- Request a "do-over." When I match my kids behavior I admit I am wrong and ask we can try and start "the day," or whatever over. Maybe find somethign you enjoy doing togehter and...(more)
- Yes. Totally agree.
- Is he in a SN scholar need to be? If he is not is there after school homework help? He needs to not have to do work with you. Pick your battles. You need to be able to do some fun...(more)
- Are you the single mom who posts fairly regularly? You need a break but if you’re who I think you are, I’m not sure how you will get one.
- Special Needs Suggestions for summer camp (day only) for a 10yo with Aspergers. Looking for social skill building and conversation pragmatically.
- Where are you?
- UWS but dc goes to Summit. Will travel for the right program.
- JCC on the Hudson/Twelve Trails; also, Our Victory Day Camp
- ^also, if you're on FB, join Special Moms Network
- OP TY!
- :-)
- ^^also, Yomi and Eye to Eye
- :-)
- OP TY!
- ^also, if you're on FB, join Special Moms Network
- Camp excel
- Harbor Haven
- Most Y camps have inclusion programs (you have to ask, not usually advertised), and TechKids Unlimited was great.
- Where are you?
- Special Needs Dd is 10, newly dxd with ADHD Inattentive. She sees the woman who dxd her once a week (though has only gone once, because of scheduling challenges that have been straightened...(more)
- My ds has a 504 for ADHD Inattentive and teachers do not refer to it ever. It's on me and ds, I've learned, but our school has a HW calendar and I'm on top of it, more than I want...(more)
- op - Okay, I think that will be my situation. They don't have an online homework calendar that I know of, but I"ll obviously have to look into it. Does your ds see a therapist?...(more)
- My ds did a huge turn around in 7th grade. 5th and 6th were him in a fog, barely knew his middle name or what day it was. Maturity and hormones were a major help and he started...(more)
- I would meet with principal or guidance counselor for help in this if there's no online calendar, Unusual for middle school for teachers not to have online calendars.
- Np: My middle and high schools do not have online calendars.
- op - It's fifth grade, so not quite middle, but I will ask about it
- op - Okay, I think that will be my situation. They don't have an online homework calendar that I know of, but I"ll obviously have to look into it. Does your ds see a therapist?...(more)
- My dd was dx in 5th grade as well. She had two teachers at the time and they were very UNhelpful. Everything I asked that they do, they claimed they were already doing but I...(more)
- ^Does your dd struggle with the length of the homework assignments? Sometimes you can modify those so that dd provides and example of each kind of problem/sentence without...(more)
- ^ALSO - you need to decide how much you are going to let dd fail. Once her assignments are in her agenda consistently, and you know she has a quiet place with time to complete the...(more)
- op - Hm, that isn't much a problem for her - though she HATES having to 'log' her reading time (she's a great reader, it's just one of those things she 'forgets' to ...(more)
- ^Does your dd struggle with the length of the homework assignments? Sometimes you can modify those so that dd provides and example of each kind of problem/sentence without...(more)
- we are lucky, our teachers are very willing to help out. Ds has an assignement notebook, his teachers sign off that he wrote down what was on the board for homework, and I sign...(more)
- op - This is all so helpful. thank you!
- My ds has a 504 for ADHD Inattentive and teachers do not refer to it ever. It's on me and ds, I've learned, but our school has a HW calendar and I'm on top of it, more than I want...(more)
- Special Needs Do young kids (2y-3y) with Speech Delay and/or ADHD get ABA services through Early Intervention? Or ABA is only given to kids with a diagnose of Autism?
- The latter.
- Aba is is used on all sorts of people
- Early Intervention does not give ABA as a service unless a child has an autism diagnosis through the system. That is what OP asked.
- ^So OP - if you are concerned about this, tell your EI service coordinator you want a psych eval. One of your current therapists can write the justification.
- No, ABA is given in response to behaviors. Insurance must cover ABA if a child has an ASD dx in most states.
- OP asked "through Early Intervention!" I am answering THAT QUESTION. There is a specific procedure for getting ABA through EI.
- It variesby state.
- OP if you can tell us where you are, we can give you better advice about EI
- ^For ex my ds got ABA without an autism dx in NY state about 4 years ago under EI. He later had an autism dx but those were the CPSE years (after age 3)
- We are located in NYC. Thank you
- op asked if you can get ABA with speech delay or adhd through EI
- It variesby state.
- OP asked "through Early Intervention!" I am answering THAT QUESTION. There is a specific procedure for getting ABA through EI.
- Np aba can be used for all kinds of kids.
- Early Intervention does not give ABA as a service unless a child has an autism diagnosis through the system. That is what OP asked.
- Aba is is used on all sorts of people
- yes and even younger
- ABA for speech delays?
- if he has speech delays he will get services
- not necessarily, no
- if delayed beyond a certain percentage, yes. but that's speech services, not ABA
- If the speech delay is at least 33% he will, but it's much better to try to demonstrate delays in more than one area because then the threshold is 25%
- if he has speech delays he will get services
- ABA for speech delays?
- No 2-3yo has an adhd dx
- You have to have the kid evacuated but ei is not just for kids with autism
- op is talking about ABA which is primarily for autism
- Aba is used for a lot of things. Why comment about something when you are very informed?
- np - it's not exclusive for autism but in the vast majority of cases that is what ABA is for
- No
- actually, yes.
- No
- why don't you go ahead and tell us when ABA is used?
- It can be used for any child who needs help learning, increasing or decreasing a behavior. It is also used on adults for a number of reasons.
- Give any example in which a person w/o autsim gets ABA
- It is used on people at work to help with certain behaviors such as to increase productivity, it is used to teach kids who don't have autism to increase or decrease a behavior.
- What do you think aba consists of exactly ?^
- autism and related language disorders
- If you are teaching a behavior but the aba therapist does not teach speech
- language included
- If there is a language related behavior but aba is not about teaching language it is about teaching socially valuable behavior. An aba needs to work with a speech therapist...(more)
- language was always already included in the programs i worked on
- If there is a language related behavior but aba is not about teaching language it is about teaching socially valuable behavior. An aba needs to work with a speech therapist...(more)
- language included
- If you are teaching a behavior but the aba therapist does not teach speech
- you are thinking of other behavior modification techniques. Not ABA
- That is what aba is and nothing else
- It is used on people at work to help with certain behaviors such as to increase productivity, it is used to teach kids who don't have autism to increase or decrease a behavior.
- Give any example in which a person w/o autsim gets ABA
- It can be used for any child who needs help learning, increasing or decreasing a behavior. It is also used on adults for a number of reasons.
- Have only used ABA with autistic patients
- It is used in other areas
- np - it's not exclusive for autism but in the vast majority of cases that is what ABA is for
- Aba is used for a lot of things. Why comment about something when you are very informed?
- op is talking about ABA which is primarily for autism
- My ds had a PDD diagnosis and got ABA but it was through our insurance, not EI
- PDD is another code for autism --- PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental delay - not otherwise specified) got rolled in with the rest of autism in the new manuals.
- ABA is given for behavioral delays, not speech. It is given for specific symptoms. There is no such thing as a 2-3 year old with an ADHD dx.
- It is given to change behavior and that is all
- It can absolutely be offered to help with pragmatic language
- If you are teaching a behavior sure
- it is used for all areas of language with autistic kids
- It is used to teach behavior so it can work in conjunction with speech but aba therapist do not teach speech
- sure they can, have worked with many on the same language goals
- Yes this can aid in teaching a specific behavior but speech therapist teach speech. Get informed
- Speech language pathologist also teach language.
- They are the only ones who teach it , they can seek out an aba to help create and implement a program to teach a specific mouth movement of get word use to increase. look it up...(more)
- educate your self
- ABA programs include receptive and expressive language behavior. Call it what you want
- SLP below: that's actually not true. BCBAs program for language. It's caused a lot of tension at times between the 2 professions. Ideally, an SLP is involved. And there are even...(more)
- They are the only ones who teach it , they can seek out an aba to help create and implement a program to teach a specific mouth movement of get word use to increase. look it up...(more)
- Speech language pathologist also teach language.
- Yes this can aid in teaching a specific behavior but speech therapist teach speech. Get informed
- sure they can, have worked with many on the same language goals
- It is used to teach behavior so it can work in conjunction with speech but aba therapist do not teach speech
- it is used for all areas of language with autistic kids
- with Autistic kids/ adults.
- If you are teaching a behavior sure
- It can absolutely be offered to help with pragmatic language
- It is given to change behavior and that is all
- This post has been deleted.
- Thank you all very much. So a young kid (2-3y) cannot be diagnosed for ADHD/ADD?
- Totally inappropriate dx at that age.
- I work for an EI agency in a verbal behavior program. I'm an SLP, working toward becoming a BCBA. My group does ABA for a variety of children. No diagnosis is required. It's more...(more)
- The latter.
- Special Needs If dc has homework and it takes forever because of adhd what do you do about earning screen time? say it's friday...he has homework, you can't just leave it all because he will...(more)
- we have a similar situation. I do take off the brakes on Friday afternoon -- he's like us, they have had a long week, they dneed to decompress, I let him play. We do crack the...(more)
- op- would be fine with that...but same thing saturday am...arguing with me and doing everything but what I ask. the computer is the only thing I have to take away that he cares...(more)
- why does he have to do homework on a friday?
- because it piles up all week and even if not he will have weekend homework. if we leave it he wont get it done. he is pretty busy with friends and things all weekend.
- Stick to your guns. Can you help him break his work up in smaller portions so it doesn't look like a mountain of work?
- yes we do...he's completely out of it with no focus at all these days. I want him to try another stimulant again but dr being weird about meds right now, and of course for the 3...(more)
- What do you mean that the doc is being weird about meds? If your ds needs meds to complete his work, he should have them.
- >not sure how old your ds is but if middle school or younger, what about a homework helper for a couple of hours each Saturday and Sunday so it takes you out of the battle?
- What do you mean that the doc is being weird about meds? If your ds needs meds to complete his work, he should have them.
- yes we do...he's completely out of it with no focus at all these days. I want him to try another stimulant again but dr being weird about meds right now, and of course for the 3...(more)
- mine is in 9th ....I let him do whatever he wants til about 7 pm...then from 7-10 he alternates between HW and fucking around...usualy finishes HW by 10:30
- booster for HW
- we have a similar situation. I do take off the brakes on Friday afternoon -- he's like us, they have had a long week, they dneed to decompress, I let him play. We do crack the...(more)
- Special Needs Anyone take dc off ability? was given after a period of time where he was really losing it and having rages where he would throw furniture around...but was in a situation in life...(more)
- Is that a stimulant?
- no
- - no subject -...(more)
- 13 now
- My 17 yo ds has been on for about 5 years. We've tried to lower the dose and wean him off but he feels the effects immediate
- ^immediately and the change in mood
- op-and I don't see a huge change in him on it really...he definitely doesn't get to full on rage episodes at all anymore but he's still the same as before...he just stops before...(more)
- what does he take it for? this was kind of a last resort after quite a while of him having these major freak outs...he has no self regulation skills but even worse is me and my...(more)
- He started on it for rages. He's been on every med imaginable but Abilify and Wellbutrin with Adderall have been working for about 3 years
- ^anxiety, depression, OCD, ADD
- same with my ds. wellbutrin working for me now actually too! He needs something for the inattentive side so badly too and most stimulants made him aggressive or sad or feel awful
- He started on it for rages. He's been on every med imaginable but Abilify and Wellbutrin with Adderall have been working for about 3 years
- ^immediately and the change in mood
- My DD was on it for 4 years for self-regulation - rages, outbursts, etc. She called it her "ability" medicine, she said it gave her brain a moment to think before acting and it...(more)
- ^why do you want your DS off of it? It seems to be calming the rages. It does not make everything perfect. What are the other ways he is acting worse? They may not be things the...(more)
- ^sorry this is so long, but my DD and some of her friends all went off all meds in high school on their own, so if your DS is compliant about taking them now I would follow the...(more)
- ^why do you want your DS off of it? It seems to be calming the rages. It does not make everything perfect. What are the other ways he is acting worse? They may not be things the...(more)
- Is that a stimulant?
- Special Needs So psych doesn't want to add or change ds meds (ability 5mg) because he's not refusing to go to school and he's doing pretty well socially. yet he's moodier than ever, totally...(more)
- the low dose fast acting booster is good. 5mg ritalin
- yes I think he took 5mg in am and then after lunch...then half that or less should be for the boost so that the let down isn't so awful. I mean seriously! he can't feel good about...(more)
- the low dose fast acting booster is good. 5mg ritalin