Special Needs

  1. Special Needs Looking for ADHD specialist...(more) 3 hr 28 min ago (3 replies)
    I'm looking for a specialist/psychologist/psychiatrist that can help me with my ADHD 9 year old. After trying many things, we are ready to put him on medication. Any recommendations?
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    • were are you located? yale has an adhd dept 3 hr 24 min ago
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      • I'm in New York City 3 hr 21 min ago
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    • NYU Child Study Center in NY or Long Island. 3 hr 23 min ago
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  2. Special Needs This post has been deleted. 3 hr 34 min ago (30 replies)
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    • if he can function as an A/B student maybe it's enough to leave it how it is. 3 hr 34 min ago
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      • This post has been deleted. 3 hr 31 min ago
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    • I do not have a SN child so take this for what it is worth. I am not a fan of dc on meds unless it is absolutely necessary. Most boys ages 5-12 at least are a bit unfocused,...(more) 3 hr 31 min ago
      forget things and are unorganized. Goes with the territory but it all comes together with support and patience
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      • This post has been deleted. 3 hr 30 min ago
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      • YOU KNOW NOTHING SO THIS IS "WORTH" NOTHING 3 hr 26 min ago
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    • OMG. Please don't be upset with the teachers. They probably have a room full of kids with SN. 3 hr 29 min ago
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      • This post has been deleted. 3 hr 28 min ago
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        • Um, I teach gen ed. In a typical classroom (HS English), I'll have about 30 kids. At least 12 will have IEPs; at least 6 will be ENL. Add to that behavior stuff. I simply can't be...(more) 3 hr 26 min ago
          redirecting kids all the time. We'd never get anything done.
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          • This post has been deleted. 3 hr 26 min ago
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            • This post has been deleted. 3 hr 25 min ago
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              • Even if it's a huge disruption to the other kids in the class? 3 hr 25 min ago
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                • This post has been deleted. 3 hr 24 min ago
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                  • If she constantly has to stop and redirect him, it's disruptive. 3 hr 23 min ago
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                    • This post has been deleted. 3 hr 23 min ago
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                      • Okay, sweetie. I'll go. Have fun with your snowflake this weekend. 3 hr 21 min ago
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                        • This post has been deleted. 3 hr 21 min ago
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                          • Lol. Okay, darling. I pity your kid's teacher for having to deal with you. 3 hr 20 min ago
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            • I actually teach in a fairly affluent public school. The bright kids take honors/AP, the rest get lumped into gen ed. 3 hr 25 min ago
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              • This post has been deleted. 3 hr 24 min ago
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          • np: this is a lie. that would be a co-taught classroom, not general education. Go away. 3 hr 22 min ago
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            • Hahaha. Not so much at the high school level. 3 hr 21 min ago
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              • In any decent school district, yes it is. Please stop. 3 hr 20 min ago
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      • NO, TEACHERS SHOULD NOT BE COMPLAINING 3 hr 25 min ago
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        • THEY SHOULD LET PARENTS KNOW IF THE KID IS AN ISSUE 3 hr 24 min ago
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          • please get off of this board and go back to Toddler 3 hr 23 min ago
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            • Sorry if I struck a nerve. Of course I should remember that the whole world should revolve around SN kids. 3 hr 22 min ago
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              • Yes, the whole world. As opposed to wanting some actual suggestions for help by posting on a SN board. Go away troll. You are one miserable person. 3 hr 21 min ago
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                • GO BACK TO THE TODDLER BOARD. There's a separate board here for a reason 3 hr 18 min ago
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              • You are nt the OR, I am 3 hr 20 min ago
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        • listen, can you please get off of the SN board? 3 hr 24 min ago
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  3. Special Needs Experience with Hallowell ADHD Center?...(more) 3 hr 43 min ago (1 reply)
    Hi - I've heard of the Hallowell center for ADHD, but I don't know anyone who has been there. Any recommendations?
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    • I dont either except for an absolute kook of a woman whose opinion I dont trust. But I get a lot of info from his blog/website 3 hr 42 min ago
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  4. Special Needs People who don't understand autism suck. Sigh 4 hr 1 min ago (5 replies)
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    • People can't understand every SN a person might have. They can be kind. 3 hr 59 min ago
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      • Op: I'm an advocate and I thought today was going to be easy and nope there was a shit head cluless 24 year old who just had to make everything difficult. It was this all day. I...(more) 3 hr 55 min ago
        Kept having to educate educators and now I'm super depressed.
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        • Thank you for being an advocate. 3 hr 52 min ago
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        • The educators in my HFA ds' school were so clueless that the Public Advocate's Office eventually had them bring in staff development trainers from the ASD Nest program. It had...(more) 1 hr 51 min ago
          gotten so bad we had started talking to a lawyer, almost sued the DOE.
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    • My ds has Ptsd. Most people don't get it and I understand that. I wouldn't either if I didn't live with him. 3 hr 57 min ago
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  5. Special Needs Can anyone help me decide on Boorady v. Hadad for psych? DC is 7 with anxiety + ADHD + LDs and a likely bi-polar 2 coming down the pike. TIA 4 hr 37 min ago (4 replies)
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    • ^ and I realize it's Haddad. 4 hr 33 min ago
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    • I have heard good things about both. Boorady is very $$$$$. Haddad is supposed to be good with complicated kids 4 hr 5 min ago
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      • How expensive is expensive? What are the average rates? 2 hr 25 min ago
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    • We have been with Boorady for about 6 years. No experience with hadad. Boorady is unbelievable and I say this after wxoeroence with 5 other we'll know psychiatrists in Manhattan....(more) 13 min ago
      DC is 18 and has been on meds since he was 5. You cannot go wrong with Boorady. Yes he is very expensive but well worth it to me
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  6. Special Needs DD is 9.5 and had a full neuropysch and developmental ped evaluation (paid for by school district) 3.5 years ago. Do we need to take her to do another one at some point? We are so...(more) 4 hr 55 min ago (3 replies)
    far happy with the services she is getting for dyslexia at the school so it isn't pressing but wondering if we should do it again - she has never been back to neuro or dev ped. She was diagnosed with dyslexia and borderline HF ASD at the time.
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    • she will need to be re-evaluated before entering HS. The school district may do it themselves. 4 hr 51 min ago
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      • the school did a 3 year reevaluation this year but wondering if we need more than that. 4 hr 50 min ago
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        • The 3 years reevaluation included what subtests? 2 hr 12 min ago
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  7. Special Needs What is the earliest age you can have your child evaluated for dyslexia? 7 hr 2 min ago (12 replies)
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    • 5ish. My dc had all the red flag so we did his first np in k 6 hr 23 min ago
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    • Not sure but I had my son eval. at 7yo 6 hr 23 min ago
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    • DD was diagnosed at 7 and she's a weird case. DF's son was diagnosed at 6 and that was as soon as they really could get it going. 1st grade. 6 hr 2 min ago
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    • op: my ds' teacher (1st grade) told me he can't be evaluated until 3rd grade. He has classic signs, but she said this is common for this age. I can't imagine sitting around for...(more) 4 hr 26 min ago
      2 years until he is evaluated.
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      • My dd got diagnosed in 2nd - at the end - and it was such a huge mistake to wait. Huge. It is a myth that has been around awhile that you cannot diagnose earlier. 4 hr 24 min ago
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        • ^^and if school won't do it then I'd do anything I could to pay for it. I'd put it on credit card and pay it off later. 4 hr 24 min ago
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          • op: thanks. My mouth was open when the teacher said this to me. Who do I get to evaluate for this? 4 hr 21 min ago
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            • It is a common misconception that dyslexia can't be diagnosed until 7-8. My children were diagnosed in K by a neuropsychologist. The sooner you can remediate, the better the long...(more) 3 hr 57 min ago
              term outcomes. Good luck!
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            • Teachers don't get to opine on this. Asked the district to evaluate. 2 hr 16 min ago
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      • Must public schools don't start interventions until 3rd. Mild cases often don't get dxd until 3rd when suffixes and prefixes are added and the student can't keep up any more....(more) 3 hr 57 min ago
        You can eval before that. There are visual processing tests that don't require reading ect. The schools tests is not as comprehensive as a private eval so I'd go private bc you can start Wilson in K. Btdt I'm the first OR. I pulled my kids out of the public Schools Wilson and do it all private.
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        • Public schools don't get to decide that they do not want to intervene until 3rd grade. 2 hr 13 min ago
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          • Yes and they often offer pre-Wilson programs easily but wait to do level 1 until 3rd grade. Some kids can handle level 1 sooner then third. - I personally feel that schools...(more) 52 min ago
            school start sooner but since the bulk get dxd in and around 3rd I get why the school programs are like this.
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  8. Special Needs I need help/good advice. I have a 6 year old who has no diagnosis but is emotionally explosive and inflexible (qualified for ICT, has a para in school). He's now in first grade....(more) 7 hr 23 min ago (9 replies)
    School is actually going REALLY well. In pre-K I was getting weekly calls about aggression towards kids and teachers but now he's behaving so well he got 4s in the social skills part of his report card! But home continues to be a nightmare. He's actually better like 70% of the time. But that 30% of the time that he explodes it's getting worse. He curses at us and his sister, throws stuff, and - this is the scary part - he's started to trying to strangle or otherwise actually hurt me when he's really angry, and he says things like he wants us to die and he's going to kill us. He's now a very small 6 year old and I can control him, but he's growing fast. We have been working with a therapist for over a year and have implemented a positive behavioral plan, which has helped but when he's triggered he doesn't even remember it. We are working on different calming techniques, but again it hasn't set in. Does anyone have other ideas? Ca
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    • Have you done any testing? Hard to advise without knowing what is triggering everything. Parent training can help but you have to know what you're dealing with. ADHD? 7 hr 18 min ago
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      • That is not just ADHD 7 hr 17 min ago
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        • Could be, mother of ADHD child. Triggers and not being able to self regulate. There are different degrees of ADD, from mild to severe. 7 hr 15 min ago
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    • You need to get a psychiatrist evaluation and also work with a psychologist in therapy. His statements and level of aggression are not normal 7 hr 17 min ago
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    • Has he been tested for ADHD? This can lead to a lot of aggression. My dd was never aggressive in school but would EXPLODE at home and was really violent. She's on a stimulant...(more) 7 hr 16 min ago
      medication now and it has helped so so much w/ her emotions. Can you afford private testing? If so, go get a neuro psych evaluation. Ours was 3800 and insurance only paid 1800 but it was the best money I've ever spent. We just finished paying it off (credit card) but I still say best freaking money I ever spent.
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      • ^^I just re-read your post again and I cannot tell you how similar it sounds to my dd at that age. That said, I do not think we are done. She still may develop a mood disorder as...(more) 7 hr 15 min ago
        she ages but for now, the ADHD med is really helping and we are in a much much better place.
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    • I think the fact that he is able to hold it together at school is a good sign, but I agree with others that you should seek therapy--I would start with a CBT therapist, and tell...(more) 7 hr 14 min ago
      them you want to work specifically on the violent/aggressive behavior and anger issues. And be totally honest about what is going on. Also, I highly recommend the book The Explosive Child.
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    • are you in nyc? i have therapist recommendation to fix this. 7 hr 11 min ago
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    • op: thank you all so much! We do have a therapist whom we like and he has built a good relationship with her, but she's not specifically CBT. We told her we wanted to take a...(more) 6 hr 6 min ago
      more CBT approach with him and she has. I'm open to other therapist recommendations in NYC (Brooklyn/Manhattan) including psychologists. I think you're right about testing. Would this be a neuropsych eval or something else? or an eval with a psychiatrist? I have an older child with LDs and ADHD but she never had any of these behaviors, so it just seems totally different. He actually gets HYPER attentive to what he's doing (e.g. legos) and then when he has to stop (e.g. to eat or answer a question) he starts to completely meltdown. He can't multitask at all. Does that sound like ADHD?
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  9. Special Needs Anyone have experience w/ using respite, comm. hab & other Medicaid waiver services?...(more) 7 hr 54 min ago (1 reply)
    After over 2 years into the process, we finally *have been given* respite services and community habilitation for DC. My plan had been to have our current babysitter be signed on for these roles and collect part of her pay that way. The rates for these jobs are much lower than what we really pay her as a normal sitter. Is it ok to pay her rest in cash, or does that conflict w her getting paid by the agency/state? Other than that, can you even get a trustworthy sitter for the $10-something an hour the agency will pay?
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    • not legal no, but a large # of people do this or pay a larger sum for other hours to even it out. If you can get into Self Direction you can pay a much larger amount for these 4 hr 50 min ago
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  10. Special Needs If you have an elementary-aged child with expressive language issues, what has helped them? My ds is finally getting caught up academically but he really struggles to participate...(more) 9 hr 1 min ago (3 replies)
    in class because he can't put a cohesive sentence together, even if he knows the answer (he speaks fine at home when he doesnt have to 'think' and 'speak' at the same time). It is starting to impact him socially as well. He is working with an SLP but I havent seen real progress...
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    • i would do a social skills group that can work on pragmatics 8 hr 59 min ago
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    • My second grader with a form of aphasia is in a self-contained class with other kids who have expressive language issues. Other than the SLT push-ins, the main difference seems...(more) 6 hr ago
      to be just that they are more patient and wait for the kids to get their words out, and maybe use more multi-modal instruction. He's making really good progress. He's 7.5 and has gotten to where he can more or less carry on a conversation, and tell a narrative account.
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      • thanks. Ds does have aphasia like qualities as well. I will maybe talk to the teachers and just remind them that patience could get a better result. Thanks 3 hr 55 min ago
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  11. Special Needs This post has been deleted. 9 hr 58 min ago (3 replies)
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  12. Special Needs I'm so frustrated. I posted earlier but adding. I have a 15yo ADHD/ODD son and what he needs is clear boundaries, routines, positive reinforcement and negative consequences in...(more) 10 hr 22 min ago (7 replies)
    order to keep things running as smoothly as possible. DH is so wishy washy with this stuff and every day in our home is like Groundhog Day (movie). It's as if every rule set in place was never thought and has to be re-negotiated. How is anyone much less a kid like this supposed to succeed if we don't show him how. We started a new 'system' (again) and DS is giving huge push back - it was expected. DH is caving on so many reasonable things - I wish he had some perspective on this stuff. How much better our lives would be if he just followed through - both of us as a team.
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    • do you have any resources on how to parent a child like this that you and he could attend together? he needs to get it 10 hr 22 min ago
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      • We have been to family counseling, he sees reports from doctors and school but is less actively involved than I am. I do think if he could see what our lives could look like, he...(more) 10 hr 20 min ago
        would be on board. He doesn't see it. He thinks my idea of what life could be like is unrealistic and no one lives like that.
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        • so he does not agree to follow the plan you think would work? sorry i d k how to handle that. 10 hr 19 min ago
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          • He agrees in theory but when the hard stuff comes (when ds isn't doing his part) he will look at him and cave. He says things like "He's world is so hard right now. Give him a...(more) 10 hr 17 min ago
            break" - His world is hard because he has no routines/systems in place so he can succeed.
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    • it is very hard. I'm sorry. 10 hr 21 min ago
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      • it is, and as a parent of the same type of kid, a 17yo, i can't even say that all the stuff we tried/done has even worked. it's awful. 10 hr 16 min ago
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        • This is my fear. To go through all of this only to send him out into the world un-equiped to deal with life. 10 hr 15 min ago
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  13. Special Needs Starting the process of getting a new neuro psych evaluation, as we start the process of looking for a special ed school for my dd. I saw the teacher's evaluation form and noted...(more) 10 hr 43 min ago (13 replies)
    that she stated my daughter is not liked by her classmates. I kinda knew that, but to see it in writing broke my heart. I'm afraid I'm gonna break down and lose in in the child pyschologist's office when I go for the first intake this a.m.
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    • they keep tissues in there for a reason. crying is ok. just focus on getting what your child needs. GL 10 hr 43 min ago
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    • I have cried. I think they are used to it. GL (((hugs))) 10 hr 41 min ago
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    • aw that is truly upsetting. I've cried at doctors offices and even at a school meeting. they have tissues right there so it happens. good luck. you are getting her help. 10 hr 39 min ago
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      • OP: Of all her issues, the fact that she has no friends is so upsetting and the one I can't seem to fix. It's beyond sad. 10 hr 37 min ago
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        • how old? 10 hr 32 min ago
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          • Almost 12. 6th grade. Believe me, when I say I tried everything. I signed her up for everything imaginable. Nothing "click." Friends never stick. Friendly and outgoing, but...(more) 10 hr 27 min ago
            somewhere she turns folks off.
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            • But if you can figure out where that turn off happens or why, things can change for her 10 hr 5 min ago
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              • Truly have not idea. And believe me, I've asked. 5 hr 52 min ago
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                • has anyone observed her (like a professional psychologist)? Have you witnessed interactions yourself to see what the problem is (i.e. is she immature? impulse control issues?...(more) 3 hr 32 min ago
                  bossy? disregulated or hyper?) any of those tend to turn off peers, but all can be worked on for sure!
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                  • My guess is she's stubborn and obstinate. Digs her heels in when there's differences and doesn't back down. 1 hr 54 min ago
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        • I completely understand and have so much sympathy. know that the teacher and psych will look on it as a symptom, and when they provide suggestions for help they will provide oen...(more) 10 hr 27 min ago
          one for this
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          • Frustrating is when I was at the teacher meeting, I asked how my daughter go alone with the other kids and they said "fine," but noticed two teachers exchange looks. 10 hr 26 min ago
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            • NP: it is very possible that she gets along fine for purposes of working on group projects or just being in the classroom. But that sadly doesn't necessarily mean she is liked by...(more) 10 hr 6 min ago
              Classmates. I'm sorry. I hope they figure out where the breakdown in so DD can get some support and strategies and find a buddy or two.
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  14. Special Needs When a child gets extra time for exams, is it always the same amount of time or does it vary child to child? We live outside the US and my son gets extra time - he is given 15...(more) 11 hr ago (11 replies)
    minutes per exam (which are about 60-90 minutes each). Is that typical?
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    • Ds gets time and a half. 10 hr 59 min ago
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    • That seems odd. I would think the additional time would be a percentage of the time of the exam. So 10% on an hour or 10% on a 15 minute test. An extra 15 minutes on every single...(more) 10 hr 59 min ago
      test makes no sense.
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      • OP: I agree. But it seems to be how they do it here. But they are behind the US on this - everyone keeps telling me that. 10 hr 58 min ago
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        • We don't live in the US either. It will be interesting what DD gets in terms of accommodations going forward. Right now the school where she's at says nothing. 10 hr 33 min ago
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          • op: where are you? i'm in the UK 10 hr 31 min ago
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            • Yes. uK too. Not London though. 6 hr 1 min ago
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        • The amount of time is in ds iep under "implementation and recommendations" and it states time and a half. 10 hr 30 min ago
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    • My dd in HS gets double time. Periods are 42 minutes so he gets 80 minutes for every test 3 hr 34 min ago
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      • Where does he go to school? 3 hr 12 min ago
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        • NYC burb but this is based on IEP not which school he attends. 1 hr 55 min ago
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      • ^ds 1 hr 55 min ago
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  15. Special Needs This is Us is so good. First show I've really loved in years 11 hr 37 min ago (11 replies)
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    • im too deep into vikings 11 hr 37 min ago
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    • it is. and mandy and milo are very good toghter 11 hr 35 min ago
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      • She's great. Has she always been an actress or is this new? 11 hr 35 min ago
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        • she's done films but long ago. 11 hr 34 min ago
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    • I'm too deep into binge watching the Affair 11 hr 35 min ago
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    • what is it about? 11 hr 32 min ago
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      • A family - It goes from present day to past when they are kids. A couple was pregnant with triplets. one died at delivery and they adopted another child (black) who had just been...(more) 11 hr 28 min ago
        given up for adoption in the hospital. It's about that family, the adopted child/his biological dad, etc.
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        • A bit far fetched. 11 hr 26 min ago
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          • It's TV, not real life. It's done really well. it goes back and forth between present day and past throughout each episode 11 hr 25 min ago
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    • I'm in the middle of the latest episode - Randall's on shrooms 11 hr 14 min ago
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    • Me too. I cry every week. It is like Parenthood for me 10 hr 4 min ago
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  16. Special Needs Need help with 15yo ADHD/ODD son please.......(more) 11 hr 55 min ago (32 replies)
    I need help with my 15yo son. He's ADHD/ODD. Dr said to make a list of what he should/shouldn't be doing in home/school with him so we all own it. Dr said to be strong and not to change consequences, etc. Well my son is having a horrible week - only with me - enormous attitude, disrespect, anger towards me. Why? Because I'm holding him to the rules we set down and following through with consequences. He's fine with DH for some reason and is trying to make the issues seem like they are mine rather than his. It is so hard not to alternately lose my shit or cry because of all this. I also have an 11yo dd who has to hear all this almost daily. It's just not fair to anyone and I'm having a hard time dealing with it all.
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    • Is he taking meds? 11 hr 53 min ago
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      • yep - Zoloft/7 days a week. Ritalin LA/School days 11 hr 52 min ago
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    • can you go to therapy together? 11 hr 51 min ago
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      • We could but I'm going to pay a lot of money for someone to tell him what I am telling him. BTDT and this kid is draining my $$$$. I know I sound bitter but this is just hard...(more) 11 hr 50 min ago
        right now. He's got all the tools to be successful but he chooses not to
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        • you are already aligned against him 11 hr 48 min ago
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          • I'm actually not. I'm his biggest supporter. The issue is that I'm trying to make him comply with the rules we set together and when it's not convenient for him, he doesn't wa...(more) 11 hr 46 min ago
            to follow them. They are basic rules surrounding school/HW, respect at home and exactly 2 chores.
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            • I'm referring to what you said immediately above. He's a drain. He's taking your $$$. I don't have a good feeling about this 11 hr 45 min ago
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              • ^he CHOOSES not t comply. you are all over him. 11 hr 45 min ago
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                • ^I agree with accountability but sounds like some family therapy is in order here 11 hr 44 min ago
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              • she is just venting and it can be draining, I don't have a sn dc but I feel drained sometimes, even right now. 11 hr 43 min ago
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                • Sounds to me like its interfering with her ability to work with dc. Again, family systems therapy is not unreasonable. 11 hr 41 min ago
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                  • I agree with you but we've done that 11 hr 38 min ago
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              • oh - sorry. I'm just pissed right now. We've just had him re-evaluated, checked meds, he just finished a year in therapy successfully and was released, has a weekly tutor, etc. Al...(more) 11 hr 42 min ago
                All of that is fine. It's part of what comes with a child with SN. Sometimes it's hard to keep shelling out $$ and time when the bottom line is that he needs to learn to comply with some things, to be respectful. He knows what he needs to do and not do and has flare ups. We have been in counseling together and the bottom line is we all agree that rules in place are reasonable, that he needs to choose to follow them, that he needs to choose to be respectful. No amount of meds, therapy, books, resources is going to make him choose the right things.
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                • I got very mad at my own therapist yesterday for twisting my words when I was saying exactly this. All efforts are for nothing when Dd (nearly 15) will not take her part in being...(more) 10 hr 39 min ago
                  responsible and accountable for what she CAN do. She interpreted it as my blaming dd. Not so at all - but no amount of "scaffolding" supports, therapy, meds, counseling or organizational systems will help when she will not change her own behavior and feels like it's all being done TO her.
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                  • np very very true 10 hr 35 min ago
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                  • You get it 10 hr 26 min ago
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          • Knock it off. 11 hr 42 min ago
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        • If you think that is what family therapy is, then this is part of the problem. It's not about the money YOU pay. It's about helping your child and your family. You are asking for...(more) 11 hr 36 min ago
          help and then rejecting it.
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          • See above - I explained further. We've done it and many other things. I'm having a bitter moment, btw. Not usually so down about him. 11 hr 35 min ago
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          • np therapy is soo expensive. and if its not working or the child is resistant its hard to put your faith in it and keep blindly paying $$$$$$$ 10 hr 34 min ago
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            • Ths 10 hr 26 min ago
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            • This. 3-5 years of family therapy that may be the wrong thing anyway? 9 hr 35 min ago
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          • For many people paying for therapy is a major sacrifice, if it's possible at all. It's totally reasonable to resent spending money this way, particularly if it's not working....(more) 8 hr 14 min ago
            Until you've had to tell one child they can't do soccer (and you know it's b/c of paying for another's therapy), you can't really understand. NP here. Many posters on this board can easily afford tons of services for their kids. But not everyone.
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        • omg you are me. i just said this about ds - so much $$$ with the therapy and he HATES it so it does no good 10 hr 37 min ago
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    • I have bipolar dc. I discovered something that really helped me parent him differently than my other two. Parent him like he is a cat, not a dog. Enough with the consequences...(more) 11 hr 46 min ago
      already if you don't want your eyes scratched out. Set things up so he does what you want him to do but make him think it was his own idea. Create a trail that leads him where you want him but not because you made him do it. Make sense?
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      • ^I did this for a while to allow myself time to breathe, think and heal. Slowly worked back up to consequences. 11 hr 42 min ago
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        • But we just came from an evaluation (the full 2 day thing, etc) and after testing/meeting with him/us she said to come up with a list of simple rules with him so we all have buy...(more) 11 hr 39 min ago
          in. Set simple consequences. When he breaks or doesn't follow through, lay down the repercussion. Keep it simple and don't give back. Nothing works with him
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          • Can you make it easier for him to do the things he needs to do to avoid getting consequences? Sometimes it's really hard to start something. I found asking my dc a question from...(more) 11 hr 34 min ago
            his homework while I was cooking or whatever really helped. He didn't even know it was a homework question. I just asked something out of the blue. When he answered one or two of the questions I would say, "Hey! You just answered your first two homework questions :) then hand him a pen and paper and he would write it down. Things like that.
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            • ^I know your dc is older but maybe it could help if you read some books on persuasion. It's hard to resist good persuasion! 11 hr 30 min ago
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            • I hear you and usually I'm pretty positive. This week it has been a battle to begin HW. His routine is that he comes home, takes meds, chills for 30 min while it's kicking in and...(more) 11 hr 30 min ago
              then gets started. We had to move him downstairs because he was messing around in room instead of doing HW. The battle has been A. Taking his meds when he gets home, starting HW. He will delay the meds, hang out for an hour or two and say I am waiting for my meds to kick in before starting anything. He will then mess around for hours unless reminded repeatedly to start HW. This morning was an issue w/ his desk area. I set him up with me in my office at home. His desk and my office now look like his bedroom. I asked him repeatedly to pick it up - angry that I'm asking and thinks it's fine to leave shit everywhere (garbage, spoons, shoes, blankets, etc).
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      • np - This only works if you have a dc with some basic interest in doing things like chores, hw, treating other respectfully. 10 hr 25 min ago
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        • I could not agree more 10 hr 22 min ago
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  17. Special Needs Looking at the typical language based LD schools (Winward, Gaynor, Churchill, MMFS) for my dyslexic / ADHD daughter...(more) 20 hr 26 min ago (3 replies)
    Worried about being pressured into medicating her for ADHD, which is mild. What the different schools reputation for pushing meds?
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    • If she has inattentive ADHD with no behavorial problems and is not on the low end of the school academically I doubt this will be an issue. 20 hr 25 min ago
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      • I have heard of instances where Gaynor pushed meds, but they didn't for us. dd has inattentive ADHD. 8 hr 41 min ago
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    • I think all sn schools will ask if dc is medicated and ask to speak to all therapists. Windward...(more) 18 hr 50 min ago
      requires Rorschach and/or any of the Apperception Tests. I think they have had some parents deceive them in the past to get emotionally disturbed kids in. Can't imagine schools demanding all inattentive adhd students to be medicated.
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  18. Special Needs Sensory toy (or thing) suggestions for 6yo? He likes playing with things with his feet, poking things into cardboard boxes, crashing/banging. Obv, we do lots of just working with...(more) 23 hr 5 min ago (2 replies)
    what we have, but wondering about any suggestions
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    • Does he have the rubber band that stretches around the bottom of a chair? That's good for kicking. Have you googled forget toys? Amazon has a huge collection. If you have a Five...(more) 21 hr 17 min ago
      Below near you, they have some fun squeeze balls that change color as you squeeze
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      • ^^ fidget toys 21 hr 17 min ago
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  19. Special Needs I thought homeschooling would be best for my DD with tourettes, explosive behaviors, adhd but its a nightmare. 23 hr 55 min ago (14 replies)
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    • Some kids really need the structure of school. 23 hr 54 min ago
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      • OP: she couldn't handle a school environment. 23 hr 49 min ago
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        • Residential program, perhaps? 23 hr 43 min ago
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          • OP: she's ony 7. 23 hr 42 min ago
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            • Oh man 23 hr 25 min ago
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              • OP: new 7 at that. I guess we just need a new plan. 23 hr 20 min ago
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    • I think homeschooling can sound ideal for many dcs (dx or not), but the reality is often different. I'm sorry it's not going well for you and her. Do you have other options? 23 hr 53 min ago
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      • OP: We really don't. I quit my job to make this work. I don't know what to do. 23 hr 48 min ago
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        • Oh no :( that's really stressful 23 hr 44 min ago
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          • OP: we went from gen ed with supports in a ict room to a self contained and that was bad too. We just pulled her out to start this fall and honestly isn't working either. She...(more) 23 hr 40 min ago
            falls apart with or without structure.
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        • I have a friend who was in a similar situation. They got her son hooked into an online school, and they have a tutor come a few hours a week as well, so she isn't always the one...(more) 23 hr 39 min ago
          toying to get him to do the work
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          • op: did it help? My dd was more apt to listen and focus around me than a teacher and now that's not the case... 23 hr 34 min ago
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    • Former homeschooling mom here (ASD/ADHD), and I almost never give this advice, but in this situation, I think the best thing you can do for both of you is to take a HUGE step back...(more) 22 hr 37 min ago
      from formal schooling and unschool for a while. If you think she would do well with some structure, make a loose schedule of days (think Monday - museum day, Tuesday - grocery day, Wednesday - park day, etc) or weekly activities (library classes worked well for us), but I wouldn't treat this as a smaller version of a classroom teaching experience. Read a lot, explore, play games - let her start to figure out what she's interested in, and - more importantly - let her rebuild some of the confidence that was almost surely shaken during her school experience.
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      • my good friend is homeschooling her kids and she too eventually came to this conclusion. the months before she switchd to this, she seemed to me to be falling apart. now she seems...(more) 12 hr 30 min ago
        in control again and her kid seems ok. of course, this is based solely on what she shares via email and phone conversations and so might be wide of the mark.
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  20. Special Needs Oh, my 9yo ds, He has been diagnosed with 50 million things and every time we focus therapy on the 'diagnosis', that gets way better and then something else gets 'diagnosed.' At...(more) 12-1-2016 6:38pm (2 replies)
    first he was apraxic (when he was very little), then ADD inattentive, then processing delays, then dyslexic, now expressive language issues. I think he's just a late bloomer. I am happy to give him lots of supports to help him but i dont think any one of those diagnoses are exactly right.
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    • who is giving you all these different/changing diagnoses? Because processing delays = ADD inattentive, and dyslexia is common with expressive language disorder (language based...(more) 23 hr 40 min ago
      disability). At 9, you can't say he's a late bloomer anymore.
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    • When was your last NP and by whom? Some diagnoses easily mimic others and are hard to tease out. A very seasoned evaluator is needed. 20 hr 12 min ago
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  21. Special Needs I'm looking for stories from people who've had twins after having one SN child. We're unexpectedly pregnant with identical twins, and I am so worried about how it will impact...(more) 12-1-2016 4:45pm (14 replies)
    4-year-old SN DS. Especially because I have a uterine condition that will pretty much guarantee extensive bedrest and preemie babies. I stay at home with him now, and we don't have any family or support where we live. So I'm looking for anyone with personal experience (good or bad) with any of this -- dealing with pregnancy complications, preemies, or twins, with another SN child already at home. Thanks in advance for any replies.
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    • Congratulations and I wish you a lot of luck and healthy babies. Can you specify your child's SN, it's easier to give you advice that way. 12-1-2016 4:46pm
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      • It's a rare condition, so I don't want to out us. He's about 2 years behind in motor development, lots of attention and processing and sensory issues. He's about a year behind...(more) 12-1-2016 5:00pm
        social-emotionally, though cognitively he's fine. He's not behavioral...is more likely to retreat into his own world than to act out.
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        • And thanks. 12-1-2016 5:01pm
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        • I just feel like if cognitively he us fine, he will understand as wella s any child without needs that you're pregnany and you need rest, and maybe someone else will be providing...(more) 12-1-2016 5:26pm
          some care.
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        • np: FWIW, your description resembles my 7 yo. His working dx is uncommon, but not crazy rare I think. 5 hr 57 min ago
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          • Ours is rare, 1 in 10,000. 5 hr 19 min ago
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            • I don't know the frequency, but ours' dx is mild ataxic cerebral palsy. 4 hr 55 min ago
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    • I have identical twins with autism but they're my onlies 12-1-2016 4:50pm
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    • I have 3 language-based disability dc. 1dc and twins born at 33w. 12-1-2016 5:43pm
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      • Did the twins come first or second? 12-1-2016 6:25pm
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    • I had a pregnancy unexpected with a severely sn child at home. Not twins but I was dealing with extreme depression due to Ds#1 special needs. Its hard but please delegate anything...(more) 23 hr 50 min ago
      you can. Get a therapist! I can't stress enough that its so helpful to have someone other than family to talk to, who can look from the outside in and help. As far as sn child he didn't even really noticed I would say. Once baby came he went a little crazy wit the crying but he doesn't engage enough to feel pushed to the side. Its like having 2 only children. My sn child was 5 so the age helped. He was in school when baby came home.
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    • reverse, had twins that needed ton of EI, had 3rd at developmental ped by 7 months 20 hr 50 min ago
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      • ^line up as much help as you can afford or enlist family 20 hr 48 min ago
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  22. Special Needs Brooklyn Learning Center for Neuropsych? Was referred here for 5 y/o DS by therapist, does anyone have experience with them! 12-1-2016 12:10pm (0 replies)
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  23. Special Needs Any seminars, books or other concrete suggestion to help me organize and prioritize the never ending paperwork and appointments for multiple kids with special needs. I myself have...(more) 12-1-2016 12:08pm (7 replies)
    ADHD and am struggling to manage all the providers, reports and appointments while not losing or spilling coffee on a single page.
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    • as soon as you receive anything you need to keep, make a copy and put the original in a folder. also, what kindof calendar/planner do you have? 12-1-2016 12:09pm
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      • At a Glance, monthly view for sure helps with the big picture but not hour to hour 12-1-2016 12:11pm
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        • do you use a calendar on your phone? 12-1-2016 12:14pm
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    • This post has been disliked 3 times. showSpending hours on YBM has helped me 12-1-2016 12:10pm
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    • Get everything online. Have your online calendar where you enter everything. Then have it alert you a day before and 2 hours before - it's easy, it asks you when you input the...(more) 12-1-2016 4:04pm
      appt.
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      • ^also have a folder online and in the cloud with all your kids' reports and letters you write. This way you always have them and can quickly send them off. Of course keep a paper...(more) 12-1-2016 4:07pm
        copy too, but the online ones are a huge time help. If you need to, hire a college student for a few hours to set this all up for you. Your life will be much easier and you won't be writing letters from scratch, you'll just modify an exiting one. Your appointments will pop up on your phone and computer so you can't forget.
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    • fujitsu scansnap. iMac. MacBook Air and my iPhone. I have everything in google and now iCloud drive. The paper that I do keep or take to meetings I use a lot of color,...(more) 12-1-2016 5:54pm
      i.e. clear folders, highlighters, post-it flags, etc. Google calendar and sometimes I convert pdf files over to docs so I can use the search function to find words or phrasing that I have trouble locating, for instance... SCATTER!
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  24. Special Needs Listened to a story on dyslexia on NPR the other day and one thing they said was essential is for DC to have one thing outside of reading/school they are very good at - and my DD...(more) 12-1-2016 10:15am (11 replies)
    just doesn't have that. She is only 9 so I know there is time. She tries all sorts of stuff and hasn't figure out what her 'thing' is and that worries me. She is not sporty, she is not very arty though she tries stuff. She does like theater but I don't know if she is good at it yet.
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    • My dd is 8 and has dyslexia and adhd and I totally agree with needing something outside of school but I disagree they have to be good at it. They just have to like it. My dd does...(more) 12-1-2016 10:19am
      soccer and community theater and she LOVES both. She's a fairly good soccer player (for now) and i have no idea if she is "good" at theater - but she loves it. Gets excited to go and that's all I care about. Both build her confidence.
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      • DD gets gung ho for something but it rarely lasts. She also has a ton of anxiety. She does do chorus and theater and likes both but gives up pretty quickly on things - like...(more) 12-1-2016 10:21am
        karate, ice skating lessons, soccer, art class. I don't push her a ton but encourage her to try lots of stuff. I hope something sticks.
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        • You know, that is really common for kids with ADHD, does she have it, too? 12-1-2016 10:27am
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        • np - the most important thing is that she feels good and accepted with the people in the activity. what the activity is doesn't matter nearly so much. my dd found her people...(more) 22 hr 15 min ago
          when she was in 4th grade, so the same age your dd is now...with circus arts. it wasn't immediate but it was one of a lot of activities she had tried and the second semester she did it she just really got attached to the instructor and the other kids were nice and quirky like her. and that confidence from having friends and feeling supported made her work harder and do better at the classes - it is a self-reinforcing cycle. works the other way too, when I was a kid I loved theater and was not bad but I was in a really dysfunctional theater group with a crazy director and mean kids and I ended up feeling even worse about myself and losing my desire to do theater. so find nice, quirky people dd can be herself with, and the rest will follow IMO. we tried SO MANY activities, don't give up!
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    • ITA. my ds is 12 and he doesnt have a "thing." furthermore he really doesnt have the attention span to work to develop real expertise in anything. it feels really futile. 12-1-2016 10:24am
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    • she 12-1-2016 12:10pm
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    • she's just 9! give yourself a break. Please don't quantify your daughter based on something you heard on NPR. i'll tell you something. i have a HS senior. if you look at her,...(more) 12-1-2016 12:12pm
      she never found a "thing." Friends are excellent soccer players, accomplished violinists, etc. MY dd's "thing" is simply being good at being a person. Everyone likes her. She is the first one chosen by the headmaster to open the door and greet a guest to the school. She speaks in public about her community service. Sometimes a "thing" isn't apaparent at 9 (most of the time!) and sometimes it's not something you learn in a class, it's just part of who you are.
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    • IMO it's not important that the child necessarily be very good at something outside of the reading/academics - it's just important they do something they enjoy and get something...(more) 12-1-2016 3:55pm
      out of (self-esteem, relaxation, simple pleasure of doing the activity). The point is life can't be all about doing that which is difficult. I feel it's more about this vs. finding "their thing" because some people never find "their thing" but they can have hobbies, etc. that they enjoy.
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      • this. I don't have a "thing" but have different things I've enjoyed over the years, as have my dc 22 hr 14 min ago
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    • She does not have to be "good" at it. More important is that she get satisfaction and pleasue. 12-1-2016 6:32pm
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    • has she tried rock climbing? 22 hr 20 min ago
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  25. Special Needs This post has been deleted. 11-30-2016 9:12pm (0 replies)
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