Special Needs
- Special Needs My 13yo was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive) in 2014. He has executive function issues, and sometimes says impulsive things, but otherwise is sweet, easy to have around, does all...(more)
- Sounds like he’s suceeding despite it. It’s been 5 yrs since tested. Could retest. Or this might rear it’s head in high school. My ds was dx in 4th grade but it interfered years...(more)
- both of my kids have this dx we don't medicate either. Having said that we go about our bunds as usual and could not care less what their dx is...does it really matter?
- Well, it matters if I'm not doing what I should be doing to help my child. My other child has ASD and yes, the dx matters.
- Does he forget or lose things? Does he remember his schedule -- it's Tuesday so I have baseball practice?
- He loses things (water bottles at sports practice, for example).He doens't forget when he has practice or games, though.
- My DS was diagnosed around 9 yo (same type) and we have done medication. It's been a game changer for us. Now he is 15 yo and we don't take it when not in school. The school...(more)
- It’s such an arbitrary diagnosis, of course it could be wrong. But what would be different? Does he have a 504?
- He has a 504 for extra time testing but doesn't need it, or so he says. He's not a great standardized test taker.
- I have bad ADHD but at 13 I had straight A's. I liked school and felt pressure about grades and was bright so I was able to hyper focus. Behind the scenes I had my notes for...(more)
- op: I'm the same. I had undiagnosed ADHD and still have it now. I'm a mess now, but workeed extra hard in high school and college to get straight A.s
- Yes. Are you really smart? I came up with the accommodations like sitting up close (although I always lost my glasses so I still couldn't see), writing things down and teaching...(more)
- op: I'm more academically successful than I should be. I'm bright, but come from an extremely intelligent family so don't feel that smart. I was superstar academically. BUt now I...(more)
- OP. I am better than I was with that but would mess up expense reports, boring tasks... at work and got fired. I like school so do better there. I have to get it together...(more)
- op: I feel you. My DH takes care of anything money -related, planning, etc.
- Yes - that's how we are. He does help me but it creates a slightly weird dynamic.
- op: I feel you. My DH takes care of anything money -related, planning, etc.
- OP. I am better than I was with that but would mess up expense reports, boring tasks... at work and got fired. I like school so do better there. I have to get it together...(more)
- op: I'm more academically successful than I should be. I'm bright, but come from an extremely intelligent family so don't feel that smart. I was superstar academically. BUt now I...(more)
- Yes. Are you really smart? I came up with the accommodations like sitting up close (although I always lost my glasses so I still couldn't see), writing things down and teaching...(more)
- op: I'm the same. I had undiagnosed ADHD and still have it now. I'm a mess now, but workeed extra hard in high school and college to get straight A.s
- Special Needs My ADHD teen is going to do me in. Seriously.
- damn, they don't outgrow it by teens?
- Some of us still have it as adults
- Try to remember the positives too. It's not always easy
- Sing it. At times it seems like laziness because dd can take extra steps for things that are important to her at that moment
- damn, they don't outgrow it by teens?
- Special Needs Anyone heard of this company? Offers classes that include social and emotional skills. Wondering if it could be good for 13yo ds....(more)
- Special Needs I need to stop having expectations for things and I will be happier.
- be. happy. now.
- Special Needs Mil is always telling ds that I will give him my phone to occupy him when he is acting out in public. He has autism and is non verbal.
- is what she's saying untrue?
- She is deciding that I need to give him my phone.
- Sounds like she is getting it to him before you do
- I have the phone so that is t possible.
- Isnt^
- I have the phone so that is t possible.
- sounds like you two need to discuss a plan ahead of time. Giving a phone as a self regulating strategy can be helpful, but perhaps you follow a different protocol and she needs to...(more)
- Dh won’t talk the her and I won’t because she isn’t my mother and will think I hate her.
- sounds like a whole history of conflict here and this is the least of it
- It’s a whole history of conflict and this is a big part of it.
- By not communicating how you handle ds, you are setting MIL up to make the wrong suggestions
- She has been told not to handle it.
- By not communicating how you handle ds, you are setting MIL up to make the wrong suggestions
- It’s a whole history of conflict and this is a big part of it.
- sounds like a whole history of conflict here and this is the least of it
- Dh won’t talk the her and I won’t because she isn’t my mother and will think I hate her.
- Sounds like she is getting it to him before you do
- She is deciding that I need to give him my phone.
- That sounds like a good solution
- It isn’t.
- What is a better one?
- We work with him on his frustration tolerance. We need to teach him how to behave and not give into him.
- OK, and how do you do that? MIL needs to know too. It's stressful when acting out happens.
- Giving him reinforce the for good behavior and not attention for bad behavior. She has been told over and over that he is on a program and to let us handle it.
- good information to include in the OP- we were confused
- Giving him reinforce the for good behavior and not attention for bad behavior. She has been told over and over that he is on a program and to let us handle it.
- OK, and how do you do that? MIL needs to know too. It's stressful when acting out happens.
- We work with him on his frustration tolerance. We need to teach him how to behave and not give into him.
- Np if she gives it to him as a result of him acting out, then he’ll keep acting out. It’s got to be given at times when it won’t be reinforcing unwanted behaviors
- This
- I dont find that autistic kids think this way- they arent trained dogs. They often act out because they are overstimulated or confused.
- Op this is how you teach a kid.
- excuse me?
- This is how you teach a kid with autism. We also use verbal behavior but Aba is also important.
- There are many ways to teach kids with autism. In fact, ABA would not have one way (reward/ignore) of addressing this particular behavior. I hope the protocol you are using...(more)
- This is how you teach a kid with autism. We also use verbal behavior but Aba is also important.
- excuse me?
- do you have an ASD child? They are humans, and indeed the respond to reward systems.
- I specialize in working with autism children and adults. I have extensive training and consult with many home based programs.
- Op this is how you teach a kid.
- What is a better one?
- It isn’t.
- I will come yell at her on your behalf. Sorry you have to deal with this. Hugs!
- is what she's saying untrue?
- Special Needs ACT with multiple day testing - dd had day 1 this weekend and proctor asked for SSN. Is this normal? Anyone btdt? Tia
- They use procedures like this against fraud
- Special Needs Are malls in Westchester open today?
- no
- I would guess yes. I looked up Palisades mall and it is open
- the Westchester is closed
- np: it's closed
- Everything is open in downtown scarsdale hahahaha
- This post has been disliked 3 times. Fucking Jews
- Special Needs Any Pinnacle School parents on the board? I'm considering it for my ASD son. Would love feedback.
- Special Needs Losing over Ds's deteriorating executive functioning skills at 15. thinking it is more about impulsivity than anything. meds aside, has anyone done anything that has been helpful?
- is he medicated? not judging in any way, I'm just wondering if meds are helping or hurting or not relevant
- we have been on a two year medication hell path. trying stimulants again but in very small dose.
- Ugh, I get it and sorry.
- Yeah, it sucks. feel like he has lost 2 years of his life.
- ^^ and thanks:)
- I didn't find this helpful ages ago when it was recommended to me on the SN Board, but when ds was struggling in k-1st grades and we were unable to get the school to help us (this...(more)
- ours is in a SN school - but should have made the move earlier...
- I didn't find this helpful ages ago when it was recommended to me on the SN Board, but when ds was struggling in k-1st grades and we were unable to get the school to help us (this...(more)
- ^^ and thanks:)
- Yeah, it sucks. feel like he has lost 2 years of his life.
- Ugh, I get it and sorry.
- we have been on a two year medication hell path. trying stimulants again but in very small dose.
- Math tutoring helped there. Then also we sent her to a adhd coach. Did u ask yesterday? Because i deacribed that in detail. Nothing magical except it was an understanding retired...(more)
- is he medicated? not judging in any way, I'm just wondering if meds are helping or hurting or not relevant
- Special Needs Relative moving to NYC- dc in high school with hearing impairment. Is there a resource at the DOE they can speak with to determine which schools may meet need. They can then move...(more)
- DOE will say needs can be met in any school. Not helpful, I know. What is useful...(more)
- Special Needs Toddler My dd needs assistance any time he uses the bathroom. This alone makes me life so hard. He has autism.
- How old is dd?
- Ds not dd. He is 13.
- What part does he need assistance with? Do you have OT/ABA support to work with him on toileting?
- Wiping or just to wipe of the seat. He has all of that.
- But have they been working on it? I'd throw a lot behind that b/c it's a quality of life issue for you. Signed mom of ASD ds who took a long time to learn toileting skills. It was...(more)
- Yes they are working on it.
- You'll get there. It will just be a distant bad memory at some point :)
- Yes they are working on it.
- But have they been working on it? I'd throw a lot behind that b/c it's a quality of life issue for you. Signed mom of ASD ds who took a long time to learn toileting skills. It was...(more)
- Wiping or just to wipe of the seat. He has all of that.
- What part does he need assistance with? Do you have OT/ABA support to work with him on toileting?
- Ds not dd. He is 13.
- People were being nice on toddler
- For now.
- Can you brainstorm any little thing DS could do that would make it one iota easier...(more)
- How old is dd?
- Special Needs Also any experience in sleep studies for child? Mine is 8 with ADHD, ASD. I can’t imagine a sleep study would be successful and yield much useful data.
- I wanted to rip my face off. Can’t imagine my sad kids
- what are his issues?
- Had two. Showed nothing meaningful. Waste of time and money....(more)
- Special Needs Anyone’s child had adenoids removed? Any change in behavior or sleep? My child has many signs of sleep apnea - mouth breathing, bed wetting, restless sleep, teeth grinding?
- yes... sleep is a bit better. otherwise the same
- Yes and everything is better post surgery. Go for it
- See an ENT to check adenoids, turbinates before going further
- we had adenoid issues when ds was young, and he outgrew his adenoids by age 5
- Is bed wetting a sign of sleep apnea?
- Special Needs Anyone see an improvement in executive functioning after vision therapy? thinking my ds sees utter chaos around him which is contributing to his disarray. we are starting vision...(more)
- DD did it. maybe a tiny bit. What helped more than anything was an awesome OT who focuses on exec functioning issues. Amazing progress.
- No, but IME vision therapists will tell you it solves everything.
- drugs were the only thing. That and google classroom!
- No, but I think it's helping with reading and sports.
- really? how old?
- no
- I went to see a vision therapy guy. He painted this completely dire picture, told me to come back for another $400 in testing before committing to about $4000 in therapy. Then...(more)
- Special Needs Parent Presentation this Tuesday, April 23rd in Hoboken...(more)
- Special Needs My speech/language impaired dc has discovered the Rocket Languages app. He’s wandering around the house repeating phrases in French. We’ve created a monster.
- Special Needs 12 year old ASD kid told me 'Mom, stop that, you are embarrasing me.' For other moms, this would be disrepectful. For me, I was surprised and totally happy. This is a kid that...(more)
- Like I was thrilled when ds started lying! Annoying but normal!
- You should write this down so you remember to share it with him when he's older.
- Not sure that our kids want to be reminded they are different
- if you think that's how it would be taken, then don't.
- Really? (NP.) I think it helps my son a lot. It's obvious he's different and I think we have to acknowledge that.
- or: that's how things are in my household, too, but if the OP feels like that's a sore spot, whatever.
- That's a leap. You can embrace your kid's differences without taking notes on each delayed milestone
- Wait, I didn't say that I would "take notes on each delayed milestone." That's different that acknowledging that his brain works differently. My child is noticeably autistic, even...(more)
- No one is saying our kids aren't different or that we should tell them they arent different
- Right, and I was not saying that we should "take notes on each delayed milestone." The reality is ASD kids aren't typical kids. They're different.
- Just let it go. Parents can decide what is best for their kids.
- LOL, okay.
- or: I really don't get why people are arguing about this.
- I think there is a miscommunication and best to move on
- I don't know. Even the SN board on here can be a quagmire. The idea of writing down a funny incident to share with a kid later hardly seems like a shocking suggestion.
- It's fascinating how people cant just disagree and move on
- I don't know. Even the SN board on here can be a quagmire. The idea of writing down a funny incident to share with a kid later hardly seems like a shocking suggestion.
- I think there is a miscommunication and best to move on
- Just let it go. Parents can decide what is best for their kids.
- Right, and I was not saying that we should "take notes on each delayed milestone." The reality is ASD kids aren't typical kids. They're different.
- No one is saying our kids aren't different or that we should tell them they arent different
- or: JFC. If that's how you see things, that's how you see them. In my household, this would be a warm story I would share later. It's about progress. And it's funny.
- ITA. OP seems defensive.
- I don't even know if it's the OP, but someone sure is.
- Maybe it's one person, and maybe it's not the OP.
- No clue. But I a with you--I was really surprised by the strong reaction. I mean--it can be easy to forget things like this if we don't write them down.
- Maybe it's one person, and maybe it's not the OP.
- I don't even know if it's the OP, but someone sure is.
- ITA. OP seems defensive.
- Wait, I didn't say that I would "take notes on each delayed milestone." That's different that acknowledging that his brain works differently. My child is noticeably autistic, even...(more)
- My nephew is ASD and hates to be reminded of it. No need to keep poking him about it.
- I think you are misunderstanding what I'm saying. Acknowleding one's autism and how their brain works differently, is not "poking" him about it.
- That's up to the person with autism to decide, right?
- No, it's not. As parents, we talk to him about his autism and how his brain works differently. How the child then deals with it as an adult is his choice. You are mixing up the...(more)
- No one is saying we should hide diagnoses from our kids, but if someone with autism says you are bugging him with comments about how his brain is different, lay off
- or: instead of trying to have some rule or prove who is the most woke about autism, why not just let parents figure out what works. I suggested it because my kids love stories...(more)
- 100 percent
- butthurt? woke? Are you a Trump supporter on sn?
- *blink blink*
- No, it's not. As parents, we talk to him about his autism and how his brain works differently. How the child then deals with it as an adult is his choice. You are mixing up the...(more)
- That's up to the person with autism to decide, right?
- I think you are misunderstanding what I'm saying. Acknowleding one's autism and how their brain works differently, is not "poking" him about it.
- Not sure that our kids want to be reminded they are different
- That's great. My 15yo ASD would never be embarrassed. :(
- That's awesome:)
- Special Needs Question-- our NP recommended that my son get Executive Function support from a tutor. If you have a medical report that calls for that support, is there any way that insurance...(more)
- Not in my experience
- Coverage depends on the medical code for services. In our case, no similar codes were covered.
- Your best bet is probably to call therapists who take your insurance and ask if they can work on this with him.
- what kind of therapist would this be?
- I would think any therapist could work on this stuff. It's just learning to have some structure to support functioning. If it's only affecting academics, you probably can't make...(more)
- There are executive function therapists. But they won't be covered by insurance.
- Maybe this group could get you covered, because the team includes BCBAs. It would depend how the therapists code their sessions....(more)
- No, most therapists have no training in this
- This. They know about it. But it’s very specific skills working with kids who know every trick to avoid doing what causes so much distress.
- There are executive function therapists. But they won't be covered by insurance.
- I would think any therapist could work on this stuff. It's just learning to have some structure to support functioning. If it's only affecting academics, you probably can't make...(more)
- There is a place in Brooklyn called Brooklyn learning center, I think. They have psychologists who do this- call it homework therapy. If you have good coverage for therapy, it may...(more)
- what kind of therapist would this be?
- I doubt it, because the usual scenario is the executive dysfunction is causing the kid to have bad grades, but still passing. A tutor is not a medical necessity, period.
- stickying and hope you get helpful answers. Since parents in the know will be responding- can someone describe what this kind of support looks like? We also just received this...(more)
- I used a woman rec’ by dd’s shrink. She was a retired public school teacher with an affinity for “reaching” kids w exec function issues and also had an adult dd w similar issue...(more)
- Definitely get recommendations from other people- it can be a waste of time
- No
- One idea is to find a SLP that specializes in this. We are lucky to have very comprehensive out of network benefits and our insurance covers speech therapy very well.
- What has that got to do with speech?! Why would a speech pathologist have a sideline in executive dysfunction coaching?
- There are a lot of SLP who do language tutoring (reading and writing). I think there are some who have also become interested in EF and developed competency in this area....(more)
- ^^^^Meaning that people can come from diverse backgrounds and do well at this (and SLT is one area that is reimbursed by insurance).
- There are a lot of SLP who do language tutoring (reading and writing). I think there are some who have also become interested in EF and developed competency in this area....(more)
- What has that got to do with speech?! Why would a speech pathologist have a sideline in executive dysfunction coaching?
- You can get at home SETSS support.
- how??
- Through an impartial hearing. If your ds cannot do homework on his own, he is not accessing the curriculum.
- Special Needs Speaking of autism...what do you think about the movement that seems to be happening celebrating autism, and not seeing it as a bad thing? My older ds has autism, and it is...(more)
- i think parents want what is best for their kids. which should include in large part celebrating as much as possible, including whenever possible, advocating for our kids,...(more)
- True, but this doesn't require celebrating autism, imo. Autism sucks, at least for my ds.
- you play the hand you are dealt. and yes while things are difficult, children still want to feel nurtured and important.
- np - of course you do. but if ds was bipolar i wouldn't be celebrating that either. i'd celebrate things specific to my child's accomplishments -- learning to ride a bike, playing...(more)
- i dont know if autism and bipolar are directly comparable for a lot of reasons.
- they are both diabilities i would not choose for my child, but would deal with if they came -- no different than if he had CP, intellectual disability, cancer, etc.
- i dont know if autism and bipolar are directly comparable for a lot of reasons.
- np - of course you do. but if ds was bipolar i wouldn't be celebrating that either. i'd celebrate things specific to my child's accomplishments -- learning to ride a bike, playing...(more)
- you play the hand you are dealt. and yes while things are difficult, children still want to feel nurtured and important.
- True, but this doesn't require celebrating autism, imo. Autism sucks, at least for my ds.
- I like it. What else can we do. We ha e to live with it.
- But it's kind of like celebrating deafness, or blindness. No, those are NOT good things! Yes, we help the person with them all that we can, but they are disabilities.
- We are celebrating uniqueness.
- actually to the people who are deaf or blind they may not see it as a bad thing but a part of them
- I disagree. Many in the deaf community are anti-cochlear implants because they celebrate their deafness. When discussing a potental cure for my daughter's visual impairment she...(more)
- But it's kind of like celebrating deafness, or blindness. No, those are NOT good things! Yes, we help the person with them all that we can, but they are disabilities.
- I'm with you. I'm not celebrating something that has made life harder for ds, his sister and the rest of our family.
- THIS. Maybe if your kid has high functioning autism like Bill Gates - where they do great in school, but have slight social problems - it's not such a big deal. But my kid is...(more)
- Bill Gates is not autistic. I have a kid who would be considered low functioning although that term means little who I celebrate. i think the movement especially its involvement...(more)
- THIS. Maybe if your kid has high functioning autism like Bill Gates - where they do great in school, but have slight social problems - it's not such a big deal. But my kid is...(more)
- I think the celebration of “differences” across all parts of civilization has swung to some ridiculous extremes. But it’s still a minority who thinks that imo. There are things...(more)
- I agree. Acceptance, yes, but not celebration.
- good question. my niece has autism. i wouldn't say my sister "celebrates" it but she recognizes and is proud of her unique strengths (i.e., her unique view...(more)
- People are just trying to cope.
- Autistics (and others like parents) who are a part of the movement or support it are not saying everything is perfect or that they don't need support. They just do not want to be...(more)
- IMO, it is a tragedy.
- This post has been deleted.
- People who have been marginalized and stigmatized often have developed a “pride” movement...(more)
- I recommend following The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism and #actuallyautistic
- I tried #actually autistic, and hated it. I know it's different for everyone, but in my world (with my ds) it is absolutely horrible (for him and for us) and is NOTHING to...(more)
- It's very different -- being black or a lesbian isn't a disability.
- Until recently, actually, being gay was indeed considered a mental illness. Look it upz...(more)
- This explains it better...(more)
- Until recently, actually, being gay was indeed considered a mental illness. Look it upz...(more)
- I recommend following The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism and #actuallyautistic
- People who have been marginalized and stigmatized often have developed a “pride” movement...(more)
- This post has been deleted.
- IMO, it is a tragedy.
- in my early years in this world I thought it was a tragedy that my dc has asd. Back then I was very firmly in the Light It Up Blue world. But, as the years have gone by, I've been...(more)
- i think parents want what is best for their kids. which should include in large part celebrating as much as possible, including whenever possible, advocating for our kids,...(more)
- Special Needs Does anyone know what's going on with Rebloggingdonk?
- Special Needs DF's son just got diagnosed with childhood leukemia. Can anyone suggest any resources that I can put her in touch with for support? tia
- Anderson. Cleveland. Childrens Hospital.
- I am so sorry. I wouldn’t try to tell her where to look for support unless you have personal knowledge. Hope dc will be OK.
- OP: I am a psychologist by profession but don't have experience with leukemia
- every oncology ward has a team of people to support her. social work, support etc. let them guide her. you stay out of it.
- Ita. This day and age, unless she doesn’t speak English or something, not sure why you would need to insert yourself.
- every oncology ward has a team of people to support her. social work, support etc. let them guide her. you stay out of it.
- OP: I am a psychologist by profession but don't have experience with leukemia
- this would depend on what type of leukemia. some have great survival. Others dismal. wouldn't want to put her in the wrong support group.
- OP: It is the most common form and prognosis is very good. 90 percent survival rate. Still there are no guarantees and the chemo is brutal
- if she just got diagnosed like within days, they don't have all the information yet to give prognosis. prognosis of the most commone type can vary wildly depedning on genetics of...(more)
- OP: It is the most common form and prognosis is very good. 90 percent survival rate. Still there are no guarantees and the chemo is brutal
- There’s a listserve on pediatric leukemia...(more)
- Where is the family? What hospital are they going to?
- Special Needs Adolescent ER's that can handle diabetes? NYC Thanks.
- cornell
- Do you mean Payne Whitney? Do you think they could manage the diabetes part as well?
- you need psych? cornell can handle psych too I think.
- Do you mean Payne Whitney? Do you think they could manage the diabetes part as well?
- There are ERs just for adolescents?
- NYU comes to mind
- Have they got one? They didnt used to. We’re downtown and even though all our drs are at NYU, peds said Beth Israel or St Vincents for ped ERs. Neither exists anymore!
- NYU has one
- Thanks, all. Sorry not to be clear: pediatric ER for psych reasons, but ds also has diabetes.
- NYU has one
- Have they got one? They didnt used to. We’re downtown and even though all our drs are at NYU, peds said Beth Israel or St Vincents for ped ERs. Neither exists anymore!
- NYU comes to mind
- columbia has a diabetes center - maybe start there?
- cornell
- Special Needs Anyone read Gary Shteyngart's Lake Success? He describes the emotions of the parents of an ASD kid so vividly, but he says it's not his situation.
- No, but I want to read his “Little Failure”
- Enjoyed that one.
- No, but I want to read his “Little Failure”
- Special Needs Parent Presentation in Hoboken on Tuesday, April 23rd at 7 pm...(more)
- Special Needs Has anyone used a "crisis intervention team" in your home? Like YAI or Bellevue. Dc is 17 and we are on the brink.
- zucker hillside is known for mental health crisis center.
- ^^^ and yes, but for my adult SIL. she refuses treatment though.
- Yes. Two friends I know. One took the son directly to a posh rehab center (he attempted suicide) and the other sent daughter to a light in house rehab. It was the right move...(more)
- One thing to keep in the back of your mind is you can use Children’s psychiatric services at Bellevue until age 24 - rather than with adults.
- I know that I cannot convince dc to go. He will resist treatment and become aggressive. If they come, and provide in home services, it might work.
- we did, in westchester. my son was over the age of 18, resistant to any kind of treatment, we thought this would help. it did not. but that's not to say that it wouldn't help you.
- we haven't but I'm sorry you are going through this. It could happen to us in a few years...
- zucker hillside is known for mental health crisis center.