Special Needs

  1. Special Needs Is there any physical way to stop myself from crying? i have a big meeting at school about my son and i get tears in my eyes every time i think about it. i dont want to be a...(more) 17 min ago (5 replies)
    mess in the meeting but don't seem to have control over this.
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    • Bring someone with you. And I know how you feel. 14 min ago
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    • i dig my nails into my inner arm 14 min ago
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    • i cry at every meeting. so i dont really have a solution. i totally get it. 14 min ago
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    • No way to stop that 13 min ago
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    • I took an ativan before our last IEP meeting for DD. I was a wreck about it. And while I did cry a little, I was mostly in control. And the meeting wasn't nearly as bad as I...(more) 7 min ago
      thought it would be. I just say that I am a crier, especially when I talk about my children.
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  2. Special Needs Is it normal to be asked to come in and meet with team prior to first IEP meeting? 18 min ago (5 replies)
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    • no because it is such an ordeal to schedule a meeting with so many people twice in a short space of time. More normal to meet one on one prior to iep imo 16 min ago
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      • ^but does not mean it cant or shouldnt be done 16 min ago
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    • I have done it in the past, more so just the teaching team and not the spec ed team. 16 min ago
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    • Ime as a school SLP, no, though I've met with the whole team except the parents. I have had a few students whose parents have come in prior to the meeting, but it was an...(more) 15 min ago
      exception, not the rule. I don't know if other schools do it differently.
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    • Be very happy that you are getting the results before the actual IEP meeting. In my state they are supposed to give them to you at least 48 hours before meeting but no one knows...(more) 5 min ago
      that so you get them at the meeting. It is nearly impossible to read, understand the evaluations and then discuss implementation. This seems like a positive to me.
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  3. Special Needs My son has mild low tone, but he's otherwise developmentally typical. He walked at 15 months, crawled at 9 months. However, he is slower than his classmates, doesn't climb as...(more) 27 min ago (1 reply)
    we'll, still takes steps 2 feet at a time. To people who don't know him, he appears slow and unathletic, but I don't think he otherwise stands out. We went to our pediatrician and talked. She only recommended a lot of playground time, gymnastics classes, etc. she said OT may or may not do anything and would likely be a waste of money. Does anyone else here have a kid like this? I'm torn as to what to do. He just turned 5, fwiw?
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    • Why does she think OT is a waste of money? I have a similarly uncoordinated 8yo who also has severe fine motor issues, and OT has been extremely helpful along with those other...(more) 17 min ago
      activities you mention.
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  4. Special Needs Has anyone applied to ASD Nest middle schools in NYC? Were you happy with your placement? 29 min ago (0 replies)
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  5. Special Needs One boy has been a problem all year on public school bus. mutliple people have talked to principal. can't they put an aide or something on the bus? kid is only 6 but out of...(more) 33 min ago (5 replies)
    control on bus, yelling, throwing things, several bus drivers have left. what can we do?
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    • there should be an aide for sure, but the parentrs have to be on board 32 min ago
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    • Collectively? I'm not sure. Personally, I'd drive the kids. 32 min ago
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    • is this a SN school? 31 min ago
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      • it isnt. i didnt mean to post on SN board. 31 min ago
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    • I'd contact the principal again. And then go above his head. 31 min ago
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  6. Special Needs Have IEP eligibility meeting next week and just got call from school psychologist to come in prior to meet with her, special eduation and speech teachers to review findings. is...(more) 34 min ago (2 replies)
    this normal? i thought this was what the meeting is for.
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    • it's good practice because you'll have time to review testing results and ask questions, and you'll be prepared for the IEP meeting. Do you have a sense of what services/placement...(more) 17 min ago
      you're hoping for?
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      • no - my son is only 6 and this is our first meeting. all he has been getting is reading help. 16 min ago
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  7. Special Needs Helping a friend get a thorough eval for her 7 yo. Would love her to use the NP we used but they need a less $ option. Can anyone who has gotten an eval for dc through one of...(more) 1 hr 20 min ago (3 replies)
    the NYC area grad schools share their feedback? She lives on LI but will go wherever (city or island) she feels dc can get the best eval in their budget. TIA.
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    • I got one through NYU. 1 hr 16 min ago
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    • has she checked with her insurance company regarding coverage? because i was surprised (and thrilled) to discover that our insurance covered NP cost 80% (it was actually almost...(more) 1 hr 14 min ago
      100%) because we hit our out-of-pocket max.
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    • you can also use your HSA funds (but not FSA) 1 hr 4 min ago
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  8. Special Needs Ds losing his mind again. I was so hopeful this move and change of school would be positive but no, back to his ways. totally anxious and down on himself because he's made no...(more) 1 hr 22 min ago (34 replies)
    friends. no-one plays with him or hangs out with him or asks him to do stuff after school. he sits alone at lunch apparently. they are making fun of him and being mean. So now he's screaming at me every night, going crazy and being violent and aggressive, swearing at me calling me an asshole and a bitch and that he hopes I die, I should go kill myslef, everyone hates me, I have no friends (clearly all the things he thinks about himself). but he goes nuts. out of control screaming and saying the most awful things and it goes on for hours until he finally just exhausts himself. he threatens to hurt me and himself. says he's going to kill himself. tells me he's going to hurt me with things, says to shut up and stop talking. he finally calmed down last night went to sleep at 1030. acted like nothing happened. then 10 minutes after being awake today same thing. refused to go to school refused to take med. told me to shut up and go die over and over. I made emerge calls to ou
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    • how old is said child? is the school involved? 1 hr 22 min ago
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      • he's almost 13. we literally just changed schools 2 weeks before xmas. so he's still new. but to have made no friends yet..and they are being mean to him...not good. 1 hr 20 min ago
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    • called mental health team but we are on the waitlist to come back to see them again after not seeing them for awhile as they pushed us on saying he was ok. we are first in line...(more) 1 hr 21 min ago
      for appointment in february. I said well I took him to the ER last night but he ran away and he is acting this way and I dont know what to do help! so they put me through to someone else, I left her a message. He wont go to school because he is too anxious and upset to be there. the new school he wanted to go to so badly because he hated being in the SN class with kids freaking out all the time. FML.
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      • Fuck that has to be so hard for all of you. Im so sorry. 1 hr 18 min ago
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    • God, I'm so sorry. 1 hr 20 min ago
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    • op-the thing is he makes friends really easily outside of school. and does have friends from other schools etc...doesn't see them that much though as they dont live right by us...(more) 1 hr 18 min ago
      and have busy schedules as ds should too. I see him being really annoying on social media though. He says he's not like that in real life but still. He's very annoying around me all the time. so immature. but I see him around other people and he's lovely and kind and polite. He hates me. says I ruined his life.
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      • What are his issues? Can you have him do more afterschool/weekend activities so he's not so focused on the school day? 1 hr 16 min ago
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        • he doesn't want to do anything these days. so lazy and down. all he wants to do is be on his computer or watch tv. he has swimming and music lessons that he used to love and I...(more) 1 hr 12 min ago
          took him to music last night, the second we got there he went berserk. He wont do sports anymore or join the teams at school (because there is a big bully on the team he says). He literally is like a slug. Fights and argues about every single thing I say or ask. Everything he's relentless. Technically he's diagnoses GAD and ADHD. huge ODD clearly imo. parent/child relationship issues obviously. single mom, he takes everything out on me.
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    • I'm so sorry, what a tough spot. Any contact with the teachers to duscuss? They might have insight 1 hr 17 min ago
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    • I'm sorry. changing schools midyear in middle school is torture on most kids. 1 hr 17 min ago
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      • Well he was going through hell in old school in the SN class they had put him in. was really awful and he was doing no work, kids were losing their mind daily, it was bad. he had...(more) 1 hr 15 min ago
        friends in that class but then they would get in scraps and be screaming at each other in class...awful. Teacher said well he's new still and needs to earn their trust. Well fine but they are being dicks. They were being awful on social media too so teacher said take it away don't let him on it. principal going to talk to the classes again about internet safety and rules
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        • np - can you homeschool him temporarily? 1 hr 12 min ago
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          • 1. he wont listen to me. 2. I have no idea how to do that. 3. I'm a single mom, I barely work enough as it is now because of all the time I spend dealing with him ;( If I can't...(more) 1 hr 11 min ago
            work who pays the rent and bills? :(
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            • I am sorry. :( 1 hr 10 min ago
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    • ugh, I am so sorry. I feel for both of you 1 hr 16 min ago
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    • Have you looked into any inpatient or outpatient program (day)? Adapting to a new school is going to be rough but the urges to hurt people and himself need definite attention. 1 hr 11 min ago
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      • yes he just loses his mind so quickly. and turns to violence or speaking of violence. he punched me in the arm so hard last night and he pushed me in the kitchen the day before....(more) 1 hr 9 min ago
        he's bigger than me now. He called from school yesterday to say could he come home he's sick but then later he said oh mom I really called because I wanted to say sorry but then I was too shy because I was in the office. he can be fine and then like a switch he goes nuts
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        • Okay, I'm tired so this is going to come out wrong and I apologize in advance. From your posts it feels like you are in the mindset of "figuring out" his moods or trying to track...(more) 1 hr 2 min ago
          them or avoid them - which is completely normal! But maybe it serves as a distraction from looking at the global issues that you are facing regarding his mental health? Again, I know that isn't precisely what I want to say but do you know what I mean? I mean the volatility and suicidality are their own things that need to be dealt with.
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          • ^reading below I see you've been through the ringer. Has he been on a mood stabilizer and not an SSRI? Not sure if kids can take them at this age. 1 hr 1 min ago
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            • no, just prozac a few years ago which was not good, then took a break for a while then he was still not doing well at all so they put him on prozac. was good for awhile...(more) 43 min ago
              mostly...then it's been up and down for months and months. has tried almost all stimulants and non stimulants (except for strattera) and had horrible reactions on all of them...dexedrine was the only one that didn't make him go ballistic but it also didn't really help. and he said he hated how he felt taking it and just said calmly I will not take it. He tried another one after that and he went nuts again and i said enough, this is enough! it's crazy! he can't be having a breakdown every night when meds wear off and he can't be given 4 different meds a day so that he can stay calm it's not ok. He was really happy starting new school, was so overjoyed and the first 2 weeks were great. since coming back after xmas it's gotten worse every couple days...kids not befriending him and not being nice. and teacher said he's great in class, nice and no emotional issues at all..but has no focus. will kind of just zone out and then he misses the instruc
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          • no you dont sound like that..but how do you mean? He's very sensitive and always has been...if anyone ever laughed at him or teased him he would get very upset....low self esteem...(more) 33 min ago
            that's gotten worse over the years...it's just so complicated the adhd/anxiety...which one is the real culprit and how do they affect one another ...why has no medication worked for him then? why does he have these adverse reactions? Isn't there testing to see how you metabolize meds and if you can't tolerate them? Is he on the wrong meds completely? Does he really need any?! IS the SSRI making him have these rages?! as they certainly can...
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      • he did a month of inpatient in 4th grade. well he came home at night. was not really helpful. have been through hell with medication. nothing works, makes him crazy. prozac he was...(more) 1 hr 4 min ago
        ok for 4 months but then was suicidal. zoloft for a year and a half now...I dont know...is it not good for him..does it need to be increased? the talk of suicide again is very concerning...even if he's mad why does he go to violence? he starts destroying things and being very aggressive and violent and that is not his nature in general, very affectionate and loving and sweet when he's calm.
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        • Do you have a psych that you trust? 1 hr ago
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          • we had one for a long time who was lovely but it felt like nothing every was done...we would come in every 2-3 weeks and I would cry and chat about the hell we were in and she...(more) 31 min ago
            would give small thoughts and just listen and then talk to ds for 5 minutes and he wouldn't say anything about anything and we would change his meds and that was that. I've done parenting groups....they've done nothing with him. hw was too young for some things before but too old for the little kid groups...maybe he can do something now with pre/teens?? Something has to give. He's so smart but he's failing school and he's supposed to go to high school next year? how is going to manage.
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    • If you are in NY, he is PERFECT for the Adolescent Partial Hospital at Cornell. Google it. Your mental health "team" is not helping and you do not need to live like this. 1 hr 4 min ago
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      • we are not but thank you. We go to childrens mental health hospital (we did for years but no real change every happened, no real answer and help) then they pushed us off to...(more) 1 hr ago
        another agency that was absolutely useless. now we have been on the waiting list to go back to our dr at mental health and it's been 2 months since we called every day saying its an emergency and now we are first to get in in february. But even when we go in they will chat and say ok well we need to do this with the meds I guess. We need family therapy! He needs a new assessment and to be in some kind of therapy!! they always say "well he has to want to talk and be there" no he doesn't!! help him! talk to him! teach him how to deal with these emotions and how to control his anger!!!
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        • np - may I ask what his diagnoses are? 59 min ago
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          • adhd and GAD...unknown...which comes first who knows. I don't know how much I agree with the adhd part of it honestly. But who am I to say I guess. Why the anxiety? Unfortunately...(more) 36 min ago
            it runs in our family on my side...but I never behaved like him when I got anxious as a kid...I would cry and be upset but not this anger and violence...also my childhood was very different. I didn't get the support he gets or the love or the oppportunities he does...I dont know. There's clearly a family dynamic issue but still.
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    • Bring him to the ER and make him be put on a security watch. Something is wrong if you say he ran away. That's a legal issue. Signed ER doctor. 1 hr 3 min ago
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      • I parked in visitor parking and he wouldn't' come with me of course. big scary hospital at night. then he started throwing things around and then he just kept running off through...(more) 59 min ago
        the parks around it...I could see him but barely.
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        • Call 911 and let them handle it. This is past what you should be doing. Really. It's a crisis. 59 min ago
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          • np - I agree it's a total crisis but I also would get some sage advice about dealing with 911 with a kid with mental healht issues. I might call the dept instead, or take him to...(more) 56 min ago
            the er and go in and talk to people there? However this is definitely a crisis.
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            • I left message for head social worker person this am at hospital...and spoke to another one saying do I just bring him into childrens ER every day until someone does something?!!!...(more) 41 min ago
              he's ok right now. he's watching tv and being perfectly calm and nice. but if I ask him to do something or tell him no he will get mean and start calling me names and argue with everything.
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    • your poor son. poor you. so upsetting to read this. i am so sorry. 47 min ago
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  9. Special Needs This post has been deleted. 1 hr 35 min ago (0 replies)
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  10. Special Needs Can you recommend a fidget toy a high school boy might like? Has to be silent for classroom - TY 1 hr 56 min ago (8 replies)
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  11. Special Needs Ds 12 is ADHD and anxious...I get him forgot toys(tiny things) for class and new teacher keeps saying no he can't have them. Why'd? 2 hr 52 min ago (21 replies)
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    • fidget? 2 hr 52 min ago
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      • Yes typo on iPhone sorry! 2 hr 51 min ago
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    • If you haven't spoken to teacher yourself, do that first. If you still face resistance, go above the teacher. 2 hr 51 min ago
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      • This. Does she understand the purpose? 2 hr 50 min ago
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    • I imagine it is distracting to the other students who would also like to play with toys throughout class. When you're looking into coping strategies, you have to keep environment...(more) 2 hr 50 min ago
      In mind. There are limitations.
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      • Silly. It's something tiny like a mini koosh ball or silly putty that keeps hands active so he can focus. If one kid has glasses are you worried everyone else will want them? 2 hr 49 min ago
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        • i think more children want to play with a koosh ball (a toy specifically designed for children to want to play with) than glasses. And I think you know that. Being willfully...(more) 2 hr 47 min ago
          obtuse will get you know where.
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          • I'm not the op but if my 12 yo came home and said johnny gets to hold a koosh ball and I don't I would roll my eyes and say get over it. 2 hr 46 min ago
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            • Well you can't control everyone else's child. You can only control your own within the parameters of the classroom rules. If op had permission from the teacher before sending tits...(more) 2 hr 36 min ago
              In, I'm sure the teacher would encourage the other children to ignore ds, but that's not the case. Live and learn. Communicate with the teacher if you're implementing a new therapy.
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        • Below poster with DD who doodles. She has had kids grab them, toss them - not necessarily want them but be a pita about them- yes 2 hr 46 min ago
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          • At age 12??? 2 hr 45 min ago
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            • Yes. There was always some asshole. We actually had no problem in elementary school. But in MS it became more of a thing. The teacher suggested doodling and it's been much better 2 hr 44 min ago
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    • Can you link me to fodget toys please 2 hr 50 min ago
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    • does he have a 504 or IED specifically saying he can use them? 2 hr 50 min ago
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      • He's always used things like that. Public schools legally have to provide things like that as it is. He's had an iep for years. It's tiny little things like stress balls etc. It's...(more) 2 hr 40 min ago
        Better than clicking a pen on and off!
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    • From your post it looks like you did not discuss this plan with the teacher ahead of time. Right? You should have. Failing that, meet with her now and see if there's a workaround. 2 hr 49 min ago
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    • Does he have an IEP or 504? My DD is allowed to doodle. Sometimes fidget toys are a distraction for other kids. 2 hr 47 min ago
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    • 504 accommodation - Add this to it 2 hr 47 min ago
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    • its up to the teacher's discretion unless it is specifically mandated by his iep. you should get it added on so you dont encounter this problem 2 hr 12 min ago
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      • ok great but then why do they bother fighting it. I will demand it goes on his IEP then it will and then he has to let him have it. so why fight it? it's a tiny nubby plastic...(more) 1 hr 27 min ago
        thing that twists around and he has a tiny jar of putty. he can hold it in his hand while sitting there listening to the teacher instead of getting up out of his chair every 15 minutes
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  12. Special Needs Do sn schools in NYC still have spots available for Sept? 3 hr 5 min ago (2 replies)
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  13. Special Needs DS's teacher asked me to participate on a parent panel evaluating student work for a presentation each kid gives to a small group of classmates and parents. I'm probably not...(more) 6 hr 30 min ago (19 replies)
    explaining it well...but after almost a decade of being *that* parent to *that* kid it is SO NICE to be asked to do something normal and not to be regarded as someone the teacher doesn't want around. That's all.
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    • I'm glad for you, but as a teacher and a SPED parent, this is not usually the teacher's perception. 6 hr 25 min ago
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      • ok. That';s nice to hear, I feel like at 3 schools I've finally found the right one for him, where he is happy and they are happy with him...and I don't have contentious...(more) 6 hr 24 min ago
        conversations with teachers....so I'm going to take the moment and enjoy it. I have never been asked to do anything "normal" where the teacher is concerned, and ds is in 8th grade.
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      • I don't know... I have been in situations with my child that have been so full of discord that I am sure they don't want me around. never picked for field trips, always greted at...(more) 6 hr 22 min ago
        pickup with the downcast eyes....I think many of us on this board have had that experience
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        • And I've been on both sides, and I can definitely say, if a situation is contentious, the parent is often contributing to it. 6 hr 20 min ago
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          • know what? I'm op. and I'm just going to be happy about this, but thanks for trying to negate it. Don't we all have enough to feel bad about as SN parents? 6 hr 19 min ago
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            • I said I'm glad for you. I'm just saying, your perception of the teacher's view of you might not be accurate. 6 hr 18 min ago
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              • You said the parent is contributing to the contention...that's not what she needed to hear at this happy time particularly if the op doesn't seem to have contention anymore. 5 hr 41 min ago
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            • relax and be happy 6 hr 17 min ago
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              • I was, until I posted this. I was really happy. Thought SN moms would just understand and not say, "it's not really that way." Oh well. 6 hr 16 min ago
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                • Funny thing is, people are trying to reassure you, that you dont have to feel bad the rest of the time 6 hr 14 min ago
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                  • Or- that was my intent. I'm sorry you took it wrong. 6 hr 13 min ago
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          • ^^and honestly, how can the parent NOT contribute when the teacher calls you every day and says, "we're really not seeing a changeeeeeeeeeeeeee even though he started the...(more) 6 hr 18 min ago
            meddddddddddds. he still hit russel today! We don't know what to doooooooooooooo." sorry....but maybe you a super teacher who knows how to work with every single special ed kid....most are not like you.
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            • I see both sides, having been on both sides. That's all I'm saying. 6 hr 17 min ago
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          • I've had a kid at two different schools, and at one the teacher definitely was old school and thought he was a bad kid and it must be a result of bad parenting. At current school...(more) 6 hr 10 min ago
            they THANK me for having such a wonderful kid. Teacher attitude makes all the difference in the world. OP, I celebrate not just your moment but your having found the right school.
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            • Op, thank you very much. Have a wonderful day. 5 hr 43 min ago
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    • Why are you THAT mom? 6 hr 18 min ago
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      • do you have a child with special needs? 6 hr 17 min ago
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        • Oh shit sorry this was Sn board did not see, I get it. 6 hr 17 min ago
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        • NP they aren't all the same. come on 6 hr 16 min ago
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  14. Special Needs Have 1st graders iep eligibility meeting next week. Am I allowed to ask for the evaluation reports ahead of time so I know what to ask about? 16 hr 7 min ago (12 replies)
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    • You can ask, but they may or may not agree to it. Also, the reports might not be finished until right before the meeting. 16 hr 5 min ago
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    • I just don't feel prepared 16 hr 3 min ago
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      • They are there to help. It will be fine. 16 hr 2 min ago
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      • After one bad experience, I would call CSE chair ( though I have relationship with Dir. of district SE due to long and complicated case) and say that you don't want to be...(more) 7 hr 9 min ago
        blindsided at the meeting and ask for general conclusions of reports and what their recs will be.
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        • ^also, you can ask for a parent advocate who will listen for you and make suggestions as they are a parent who's BTDT. I have an aquaintance who's incredibly knowledgebable about...(more) 7 hr 7 min ago
          all things SE and she came with me the first couple of times. Now the meeting are more rote.
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        • ^^meant I had a bad experience!, Don't wait - call before 6 hr 54 min ago
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    • I always, always do this. I do not like to be surprised in those meetings. I make it clear to them that I will be calling or meeting with each person doing a report prior. By now...(more) 15 hr 59 min ago
      they know
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      • I am totally new to this process so I want to feel prepared. I have no idea what they are going to tell me and I feel so anxious about it. 15 hr 58 min ago
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        • You do not have to agree to anything at the meeting. You can always reconvene. My district has lied to me at every meeting. People have different experiences, but I would tape. 15 hr 49 min ago
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          • If they won't let you tape, call ahead and ask for them to set up conference call with spouse/partner/your mom/close friend if you cannot find a parent advocate to attend. 7 hr 5 min ago
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    • Yes, they must provide it. They might try to dodge saying they want to explain it to you or say it is not ready. Do not allow them to do this....(more) 15 hr 51 min ago
      The evaluation is part of your children's record and you are entitled to it upon request. If they claim the report is not ready then demand the raw records. Be firm, but polite. Keep emotions out of it. Preferably email the request and keep the email.
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      • They are not going to give you the raw records! Just insist on the reports and explain you need time to read them before the letting. 8 hr 10 min ago
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  15. Special Needs Anybody have a lead on EI physical therapists taking new patients in Chelsea? Asking for a friend who is super frustrated with her service coordinator's failed efforts to find a...(more) 17 hr 38 min ago (3 replies)
    PT for her child for weeks since services were approved.
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    • It's tough mid-school year. Even in EI it 17 hr 34 min ago
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      • ^^Even in EI it can be tough to find someone who can work the hours your friend might need (esp late afternoon hours). 17 hr 33 min ago
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        • They are super flexible, her DH freelances on his own schedule and she was recently laid off. 17 hr 27 min ago
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  16. Special Needs We can't really afford a Carribean vacation during the winter so I was thinking of going off season- maybe in the summer. We have two dcs, one 11 and one 15, both sn. Younger dc...(more) 17 hr 55 min ago (6 replies)
    uses a wheelchair. Any recommendations?
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    • Ugh, most of the islands in the Caribbean isn't very wheelchair-friendly - it's hard to get around and not many places are wheelchair-accessible. And it's HOT in the summer. 17 hr 52 min ago
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      • This. I would consider somewhere in the coasal Carolinas. More accessible to wheelchairs. 17 hr 2 min ago
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    • the place with the snorkel trail and the glow fish 17 hr 51 min ago
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    • What about Cancun? You can rent privately at Royal Sands 2bd/2b timeshare. Very nice. Or if your budget permits do Westin Lagunamar its directly across from mall with shops and...(more) 17 hr 42 min ago
      restaurants on lagoon so it would be easy to get around
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      • ^i know Royal Resorts are wheelchair accessible. Also, maybe Puerto Rico bc it's more developed. 17 hr 41 min ago
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    • maybe somewhere in florida? 17 hr 2 min ago
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  17. Special Needs Sorry I am reposting versions of this question, but if your DC was/is on Risperdal what is the dosage and DCs age? And how long on it? I need some support in advocating for an...(more) 19 hr 19 min ago (3 replies)
    increase. MD thinks its the right drug but then says its not safe longterm. I hear otherwise. TIA
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    • Every med has its pros and cons, there aren't any with zero risks of side effects. Risk of side effects with risperdal tend to be lower before puberty starts. My son was on it...(more) 17 hr 30 min ago
      at 7-8.5, started with .5 and went up to 1. Transitioned to Intuniv thereafter even though no problems or side effects with the risperdal in the exercise of caution, no serious problems with that either. FWIW, reading your other post, I see your dc takes stimulants as well? IME risperdal is the one that works for kids who do not react well to stimulants. My ds was mad oppositional and pretty manic when they did a trial of stimulant meds before the risperdal. Ask your doc, maybe the stimulant is your problem.
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    • It's FDA approved for his age. 14 hr 18 min ago
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    • i answered in your other post, my dc has been on risperdal for 9 years. My best advice to you is to get a second opinion for another psychopharmologist. that is what will really...(more) 4 hr 4 min ago
      put you at ease since you have a different opinion that your current dr
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  18. Special Needs Will we have school on Long Island tomorrow? Some moms think no. 21 hr 56 min ago (3 replies)
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    • unless the schools lose power and roads are not passable, there will be school 21 hr 54 min ago
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    • Only no if the schools have no power 21 hr 54 min ago
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    • Unless you are in a town prone to flooding or your school power, it should be a regular day. 21 hr 53 min ago
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  19. Special Needs Just got the date for my 1st graders IEP eligibility meeting. There will be 8 teachers there. What should I prepare? 21 hr 58 min ago (25 replies)
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    • Any questions you have 21 hr 57 min ago
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      • He went from getting extra help in reading to his teacher saying he needs everything. Not sure what to ask. 21 hr 57 min ago
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        • Np that is overwhelming. Anything you think of ahead of time, write it down. Don't assume you'll remember the day of. Bring a notebook and jot down questions/thoughts you have...(more) 21 hr 53 min ago
          during the meeting. I have a child with SN and I also attend IEP meetings as a speech therapist. Meetings cAn be long and kind of hectic, with so many people speaking. So, writing down questions will help you remember to ask them
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        • I would ask where he benchmarked and where a child who doesnt receive services scored... 21 hr 51 min ago
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    • Does he have a diagnosis? Has he been evaluated? Get it done privately if not - and if you have time before the meeting. Read as much as possible on Additudemag.org - There are...(more) 21 hr 52 min ago
      articles and webinars that talk about what an IEP is, what your rights are, what to ask for. In my experience, everything goes smoother w/ a diagnosis which comes with accommodation suggestions that the school almost always follows.
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      • He was just evaluated at school. Should i also hire a private evaluator? I heard they administer the same tests so no point in doing at same time since my son will have seen them...(more) 21 hr 46 min ago
        already. Will they tell me diagnosis at meeting?
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        • np: schools don't diagnose, they just determine eligibility for services. But if they say he needs everything, I think there's less need for a private eval. Seems like they are...(more) 21 hr 44 min ago
          willing to work with you.
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          • They have been very proactive. His classroom teacher is very type a. I don't disagree that he needs help but this seems like it jumped from 0 to 60. 21 hr 43 min ago
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            • What the issues they are bringing to you? 21 hr 41 min ago
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              • Reading, writing, soeech(limited vocabulary) and math 21 hr 36 min ago
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                • My advice: read everything you can, book a private evaluation even if it's after the IEP and tell them it's booked during the meeting. Take everything they offer you during...(more) 21 hr 32 min ago
                  meeting and then amend it based on diagnosis later on.
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        • This is my experience. Schools find results they can accommodate. private evals find all results regardless of what schools can accommodate. Example: My son was diagnosed w/...(more) 21 hr 43 min ago
          ADD/ADHD and Dyslexia in 2nd grade. My county doesn't recognize dyslexia as a disorder and therefore don't support is. So, they would not have found he had dyslexia. I think a private doctor is alway unbiased and the way to go.
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          • but the schools still can't provide any support from the dyslexia anyway, right? are you getting help privately? 21 hr 42 min ago
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            • He's older now - I got private tutoring for 3+ years. I had to but at the same time, I pushed for ADHD accommodations that would help him with his dyslexia issues 21 hr 41 min ago
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            • Np: yes some schools do remediate dyslexia. It depends ups on the school and what you fight for 19 hr 52 min ago
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    • Read and review the evaluation reports. Sit down with dh and come up with questions and what you want ahead of time. 21 hr 4 min ago
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    • I'd suggest calling your case manager before to get an idea if he's going to qualify or not. That answer has a huge impact on how you prepare. If he's not going to qualify you...(more) 19 hr 54 min ago
      go in fighting for an iep. If he qualifies you go in to discuss dc's weaknesses and come up with a plan to give support in this areas. DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING except for attendance sheet. Go home process the meeting and go back with questions and amendments in a few days.
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    • 1) get a copy of whatever evaluation they are referring to now. 2) do not allow them to tell you that they will discuss it at the meeting. 3) evaluations are part of your dcs...(more) 19 hr 28 min ago
      records and you are entitled to it now. 4) pick it up if necessary 5) get back to the sn board for the next step.
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    • Get a private evaluation from a neuropsychologist who will give you a diagnosis. The schools will tell you the child needs speech, OT, etc. but won't diagnosis exactly the...(more) 18 hr 21 min ago
      learning problem.
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    • I would come with samples of your child's work to support any difference in opinions you might have on their assessment. I had a private evaluation to present, and they downplayed...(more) 15 hr 41 min ago
      Some of the findings. Having material to make a point beyond parental instincts helps keep you and the conversation grounded. I send you my best wishes, and agree that a private evaluation can be VERY helpful if any of the school's conclusions doesn't seem right to you.
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      • If any of the school's conclusions don't seem right to you. 15 hr 40 min ago
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    • You can ask for the evals and draft IEP before the meeting - get it some day s before so you can go over it and see what you want to change/add to it. You need to tell them now...(more) 14 hr 24 min ago
      that you want the draft IEP ahead. Do you have the evals?
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      • ^also you don't know that he won't qualify. He is only in 1st grade and you can get a private eval after if you need to but you may not need to. 14 hr 22 min ago
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    • Can DH come with you? You can also bring an advocate. And record it, just so you don't go crazy taking notes. 14 hr 16 min ago
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  20. Special Needs CABD- autism place that takes insurance - is this place real or a myth?...(more) 22 hr 23 min ago (1 reply)
    I submitted mountains of intake forms and got insurance clearance from Center for Autism and the Developing Brain (in White Plains) early last summer for my 3 1/2 yo d.c.. I call regularly to 'check in', but only get vague non-answers about the possibility of a real appointment ever being made, and am told they just don't have any clinicians working right now. So has anyone actually gotten an appointment there in the past year? Lady today was downright rude. Very frustrating. Just spent thousands on other DCs neuropsych testing bc of IEP meeting coming up, and can't afford to do it again right now, but young DC having lots of issues with school placement and I feel like we need to get an official diagnosis. Thanks for any insight.
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    • Sounds like they are short-staffed. That does suck. We got a dx via them through insurance with little hassle, but that was nearly 3 years ago. 22 hr 19 min ago
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  21. Special Needs Adhd moms - 5th grade dc just got 34 out of 36 "4s" on their report card (two "3s") including all 4s in behavior - so proud!!! 23 hr 24 min ago (1 reply)
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    • Wow! That's awesome. Enjoy the success:) 15 hr 34 min ago
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  22. Special Needs Anyone know an ADHD kid who did ok at horace Mann? Curious about dcs in middle and high school... 23 hr 31 min ago (9 replies)
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    • are they medicated? 23 hr 30 min ago
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      • yes - dc started meds in 4th grade and life has turned around...applying for 6th and dh and I think this is where dc might end up... 23 hr 28 min ago
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    • I have one - started meds in 6th grade (also started HM in 6th grade). Stopped meds in 12th grade b/c didn't need any more. 23 hr 30 min ago
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      • op: was hm supportive? 23 hr 28 min ago
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        • very. but you have to advocate for your kid. they're not going to come to you and say they think your kid could use some accommodations or a certain teacher. you need to work...(more) 23 hr 26 min ago
          with the dean and the learning specialist to get your kid what (s)he needs to be successful. Be that seating in the front of the room, a teacher who is more accepting of learning differences, etc. But they were willing to do a lot to make sure my kid succeeded (and he did)
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          • awesome - thanks! teachers have been supportive this year and it has made a world of difference 23 hr 23 min ago
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    • I think in general HM is not a supportive place, but if the work they need to do with your child isn't extreme you may be able to work something out. There are much more...(more) 23 hr 24 min ago
      supportive places out there though.
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      • 2 years ago I think it would have been a lot of support - now it is minimal if any (teachers have been telling us one of the best kids in the grade this year, etc) 23 hr 23 min ago
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        • ^and I give a lot of credit to the diagnosis and then the med he is on 23 hr 22 min ago
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  23. Special Needs Dc with a significant learning disability and anxiety is in a public school and he is refusing to go saying everyone makes fun of him. District is recommending a therapeutic...(more) 1-23-2017 1:37pm (19 replies)
    school. I think I school for children with LD's should be tried first. Thoughts?
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    • no it should be tried second 1-23-2017 1:37pm
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      • np: If the LD is causing the teasing and therefore the anxiety, then being at a school where the LD can be addressed and isn't seen as a differentiator might help the anxiety. 2...(more) 1-23-2017 1:38pm
        birds, 1 stone
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        • ita but the mainstream school should be tried first 1-23-2017 1:39pm
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          • op: the LD school is more mainstream that the therapeutic school 1-23-2017 1:42pm
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    • what's the LD? Do they mean theraputic boarding school? 1-23-2017 1:37pm
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      • no a day school for kids with psychological issues 1-23-2017 1:45pm
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        • Where do you live? I've BTDT. Ds in a similar program and it's been great. 22 hr 14 min ago
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          • We live in NJ 20 hr 58 min ago
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    • go speak to both schools and determine where makes most sense 1-23-2017 1:38pm
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      • district will only pay for therapeutic 1-23-2017 1:44pm
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        • district doe not get to make that decision 22 hr 26 min ago
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          • np - well they can decide what they offer w/o a lawsuit. IME districts don't offer to pay for therapeutic (which is $$$) unless the tem thinks its needed. 22 hr 16 min ago
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            • That's not the only option. OP should call her State DOE and ask for options. The District must consider OP's desire for sn school and explain in the IEP why it was rejected....(more) 22 hr 14 min ago
              What evaluations were used?
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    • Is it the LD that makes him a target or is he an emotional kid who has trouble relating? 1-23-2017 1:40pm
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      • he is very sensitive and has anxiety but it has really exploded since kids started teasing him 1-23-2017 1:43pm
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        • Posted above about my ds, sounds like your son is very dysregulated and school thinks he needs a supportive setting. 22 hr 12 min ago
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          • It sounds like the school sucks. Np 22 hr 9 min ago
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    • What and how severe is the LD? 22 hr 18 min ago
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    • Get a private assessment. 22 hr 13 min ago
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  24. Special Needs I'm single. I'm lucky to have a great group of single friends, we all hang out together, have potluck meals, kids play together, etc. Most people been friends 10+ years, but I...(more) 1-22-2017 11:16pm (5 replies)
    just moved to town about 6mo ago. I like one of the guys and he likes me but I'm hesitant to date him because I don't want things to be awkward if we break up, we have so many friends in common. WWYD?
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    • ^sorry! Not for SN! 1-22-2017 11:17pm
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      • are you sure? 1-22-2017 11:18pm
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        • kidding! 1-22-2017 11:19pm
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        • I know it's a stupid question. Then again, I'm posting on a rather stupid forum so... 1-22-2017 11:19pm
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    • Date him. Of course date him. 1-22-2017 11:19pm
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  25. Special Needs This post has been deleted. 1-22-2017 11:05pm (1 reply)
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    • I know, I'm actually starting to like him! Trump is good for him 1-22-2017 11:09pm
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