DD (11yo) informed me that she can't wear a particular sports bra to school because the strap is positioned too close to her neck and it is always visible no matter which shirt... (more)
she wears over it. I asked for more information, and apparently, they can't even wear spaghetti strap tank tops under a regular shirt if you can see the straps AT ALL. This is annoying. Would this annoy you enough to actually say something to the school?
posted April 20th, 2016 at 1:23pm in Toddler
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- yes 4-20-2016 1:23pm
- um. yes. 4-20-2016 1:24pm
- it would bother me. that said, I also make bra choices based on trying to avoid making straps visible, so this is kind of lifelong issue. 4-20-2016 1:24pm
- For sure I would 4-20-2016 1:24pm
- Absolutely and that rule is bullshit. 4-20-2016 1:24pm
- Nope. I'd buy bras that don't show. 4-20-2016 1:25pm
- it is even for tank tops under regular shirts. 4-20-2016 1:26pm
- no, its dress code 4-20-2016 1:25pm
- Yes, it's a stupid rule. I get they are trying to avoid extremes, but bra straps sometimes show a bit. 4-20-2016 1:25pm
- i would work with her to approach the school-she is old enough 4-20-2016 1:25pm -1 dislike
- np: about a bra? come on. that's too much to expect. 4-20-2016 1:26pm
- my dd's ms got together and changed 2 dress code rules. they researched it, put together an argument, got a petition (signed only by girls) and had 2 girls meet with...(more) 4-20-2016 1:28pm
- ABOUT THEIR BRAS? WHEN THEY WERE 11? 4-20-2016 1:29pm
- stop the shouting. they wanted to wear sports shorts and tanks-they had only been allowed bermudas previously, so got rule changed for that. they also just removed the rule...(more) 4-20-2016 1:32pm about strappy tanks and showing bra straps. either way, I think administration was impressed with their moxy. sometimes it is good to land your chopper elsewhere and teach your kids to do it.
- i agree but not on this topic at this time. the very word "bra" is mortifying to an 11yo. 4-20-2016 1:34pm
- well, it all worked out for them. they are at a girls ' school which may make a difference. either way, I think it was a good exercise for them to stand up for something they...(more) 4-20-2016 1:37pm
- i agree but not on this topic at this time. the very word "bra" is mortifying to an 11yo. 4-20-2016 1:34pm
- stop the shouting. they wanted to wear sports shorts and tanks-they had only been allowed bermudas previously, so got rule changed for that. they also just removed the rule...(more) 4-20-2016 1:32pm
- what research did they present regarding visible bra straps? 4-20-2016 1:31pm
- they measured widths of straps at target-both tank tops and sports bras. so research might be a stretch but they argued that school shouldn't be focused on this if it is hard to...(more) 4-20-2016 1:33pm
- ABOUT THEIR BRAS? WHEN THEY WERE 11? 4-20-2016 1:29pm
- my dd's ms got together and changed 2 dress code rules. they researched it, put together an argument, got a petition (signed only by girls) and had 2 girls meet with...(more) 4-20-2016 1:28pm
- np: about a bra? come on. that's too much to expect. 4-20-2016 1:26pm
- I hate how they send the message to girls that they have to cover, or something horrible or indecent will happen. Rape culture 4-20-2016 1:26pm +1 like
- I agree. 4-20-2016 1:26pm
- the straps have to be "two finger widths" if they are visible... 4-20-2016 1:27pm
- It's more about looking decent. Your underwear hanging out looks ugly. 4-20-2016 1:28pm
- These are young girls in school. And it's about sexuality, nothing else 4-20-2016 1:29pm
- Spaghetti straps are a bit much for school. Bra straps definitely look sloppy. Can't you get some layering pieces? You want to tell the schools to let underwear be shown? 4-20-2016 1:27pm -2 dislikes
- I actually don't expose my bra straps. 4-20-2016 1:27pm
- do you layer with tank tops? 4-20-2016 1:28pm
- So? What does it have to do with you? 4-20-2016 1:28pm
- i would just buy her bras with different straps and tank tops with wider straps. dressing without your bra straps showing is something every girl/woman has to learn at some point....(more) 4-20-2016 1:30pm +3 likesdo you leave your underpants sticking out of your jeans? I don't.
- I regularly wear tank tops with spaghetti straps under my sweaters. I do not consider this to be a bad thing. 4-20-2016 1:31pm
- np: with the tank tops' straps sticking out from beneath the sweater? you wear much wider-necked sweaters than I do (and I wear tank tops to layer, too) 4-20-2016 1:32pm
- Yes, sometimes. It doesn't take a very wide neck on a sweater to show that. 4-20-2016 1:33pm
- i don't either, but what the school is trying to accomplish is a "dress code" that works for a large group of students. OP's dd not being able to wear a spaghetti strap tank...(more) 4-20-2016 1:33pm under a shirt also keeps a 16yo 34DDD from not wearing a skin tight spaghetti strap tank under an oversized sweater falling off her shoulder, or under a cardigan or hoodie that's mostly unbuttoned. I'm supportive of dress codes, particularly in middle school.
- Interesting how these codes are mostly designed to control girls' bodies 4-20-2016 1:35pm
- boys are probably also not allowed to wear tank tops. 4-20-2016 1:36pm
- op - actually, they are allowed to wear tank tops. 4-20-2016 1:37pm
- thin-strapped ones, which girsl are not allowed to wear? this is a problem. if both genders are allowed to wear thick-strapped tanks/sleevless shirts, though, then I have no...(more) 4-20-2016 1:37pm +1 like
- have you ever seen a spaghetti strap on a boy's tank? 4-20-2016 1:38pm
- nope. I also haven't seen girls' pants that are as low-rise as a lot of styles boys wear, but I have a feeling that the rule against exposed underwear targets boys' pants more...(more) 4-20-2016 1:39pm +1 like
- have you ever seen a spaghetti strap on a boy's tank? 4-20-2016 1:38pm
- thin-strapped ones, which girsl are not allowed to wear? this is a problem. if both genders are allowed to wear thick-strapped tanks/sleevless shirts, though, then I have no...(more) 4-20-2016 1:37pm +1 like
- op - actually, they are allowed to wear tank tops. 4-20-2016 1:37pm
- at our school, they seem to mostly affect boys--who are the ones who would mostly wear flip flops, wheelie sneakers, shirts with logos, etc. the two finger width tank top doesn't...(more) 4-20-2016 1:43pm
- op - I don't care about the tank top on the whole... it is just that a tank top strap, showing under a shirt, is a really stupid thing to get all up in arms about. 4-20-2016 1:44pm
- boys are probably also not allowed to wear tank tops. 4-20-2016 1:36pm
- Interesting how these codes are mostly designed to control girls' bodies 4-20-2016 1:35pm
- np: with the tank tops' straps sticking out from beneath the sweater? you wear much wider-necked sweaters than I do (and I wear tank tops to layer, too) 4-20-2016 1:32pm
- Schools and institutions have no right to interfere in those issues and to control girl's lives and body in such an intrusive way. You teach your rd whatever you find fit 4-20-2016 1:32pm -1 dislike
- np - our school has the same requirement for boys -- no exposed underwear. i'm good with that 4-20-2016 1:35pm +1 like
- a tank top isn't underwear. 4-20-2016 1:36pm
- i would consider a thin strap tank top not meant to be worn on its own underwear 4-20-2016 1:36pm
- I've never seen a tank top that wasn't suitable for wearing on its own. 4-20-2016 1:37pm
- those skin-tight stretchy polester tanks with thin straps are not something i ever see anyone wearing around 4-20-2016 1:38pm
- I've never seen a tank top that wasn't suitable for wearing on its own. 4-20-2016 1:37pm
- i would consider a thin strap tank top not meant to be worn on its own underwear 4-20-2016 1:36pm
- Not the same thing 4-20-2016 1:36pm
- a tank top isn't underwear. 4-20-2016 1:36pm
- so where do you draw the line? if OP's dd's classmate decided to wear a sheer white tank, braless, would you be in favor of her having to follow a dress code? or you'd be ok with...(more) 4-20-2016 1:36pm
- or kids deciding they'd like to wear swimsuits 4-20-2016 1:37pm
- op - they probably could wear a swimsuit strap visibly.. they are usually thicker. 4-20-2016 1:38pm
- i was thinking just a swimsuit 4-20-2016 1:39pm
- yeah, but my point with this is that this 'dress code' issue is strictly limited to showing off a certain portion of shoulder. It isn't about 'non visible underthings' since ...(more) 4-20-2016 1:40pm
- does the dress code actually say that swinsuits are fine? 4-20-2016 1:42pm
- it says that any strap that is 2 fingers width or more is fine. 4-20-2016 1:43pm
- does the dress code require, for example, wearing shirts? bathing suits aren't shirts. I have a really strong suspicion that "no thin straps" isn't the ONLY thing in the entire...(more) 4-20-2016 1:45pm
- And I will bet you the code has a lot more to say about girls clothing items like skirts and bras and less about anything else 4-20-2016 1:46pm
- the only two categories of clothing in these cases are articles of clothing that only girls wear and articles of clothing that both boys and girls wear. (is there something that...(more) 4-20-2016 1:49pm only boys wear but girls do not? if that were the case, and if that class of clothing had no regulation, I'd be on your side. as it stands, girls have a wider variety of clothing choices so I'm not blown away by a wider variety of regulations. look, I think a LOT of dress code issues are silly, but I think your'e verging into hyperbole.
- the only two categories of clothing in these cases are articles of clothing that only girls wear and articles of clothing that both boys and girls wear. (is there something that...(more) 4-20-2016 1:49pm
- Actually, i just looked up the official dress code and it doesn't say anything at all about strap width for a shirt worn under something else. 4-20-2016 1:48pm
- I think this is the line the teacher must've been talking about......(more) 4-20-2016 1:49pm See-through clothing is allowed when undergarments are covered by a tank or tee (but not camisole with spaghetti straps). For example, a tank or tee must be worn to cover the midriff and undergarments under sheer clothing. Camisoles may be worn under non-sheer fabric.
- I think this is the line the teacher must've been talking about......(more) 4-20-2016 1:49pm
- And I will bet you the code has a lot more to say about girls clothing items like skirts and bras and less about anything else 4-20-2016 1:46pm
- does the dress code require, for example, wearing shirts? bathing suits aren't shirts. I have a really strong suspicion that "no thin straps" isn't the ONLY thing in the entire...(more) 4-20-2016 1:45pm
- it says that any strap that is 2 fingers width or more is fine. 4-20-2016 1:43pm
- does the dress code actually say that swinsuits are fine? 4-20-2016 1:42pm
- yeah, but my point with this is that this 'dress code' issue is strictly limited to showing off a certain portion of shoulder. It isn't about 'non visible underthings' since ...(more) 4-20-2016 1:40pm
- i was thinking just a swimsuit 4-20-2016 1:39pm
- op - they probably could wear a swimsuit strap visibly.. they are usually thicker. 4-20-2016 1:38pm
- Dress code is one thing. Demanding the complete cover up and avoid anything from showing, even accidentally is another 4-20-2016 1:38pm
- right? 4-20-2016 1:40pm
- It make me so angry, and as I posted above, I see it's as part of the rape culture that wants to control how women expose their body and blame their sexuality and conduct for...(more) 4-20-2016 1:42pm
- ^and there always will be these women to jump and defend that because "it's the same for boys", or "it's about manners and decency, not sexuality" 4-20-2016 1:43pm
- It make me so angry, and as I posted above, I see it's as part of the rape culture that wants to control how women expose their body and blame their sexuality and conduct for...(more) 4-20-2016 1:42pm
- right? 4-20-2016 1:40pm
- or kids deciding they'd like to wear swimsuits 4-20-2016 1:37pm
- np - our school has the same requirement for boys -- no exposed underwear. i'm good with that 4-20-2016 1:35pm +1 like
- I regularly wear tank tops with spaghetti straps under my sweaters. I do not consider this to be a bad thing. 4-20-2016 1:31pm
- This is stupid. That a teacher addressed it is stupid. Schools need to be teaching and not looking for stupid shit. 4-20-2016 1:34pm
- yeah, that is bullshit. 4-20-2016 1:37pm
- I would talk to teacher bc sometimes things get lost in translation with my 11 yo dd. 4-20-2016 1:40pm