Ds with Aspergers finds out that my sister is sick, his response is "how high is her fever? how many degrees?" dh says no, you say i hope she feels better. ds "but i don't care...
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if she feels better, i want to know how many degrees her temperature is, i'm a math and science guy." dh explains even though you may not care if she feels better, you need to say that you hope she feels better just to be nice. like a white lie. bad idea...?
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15 Replies (log in or sign up to post a comment)
- not a bad idea, just the way he went about it. 2-13-2012 8:49pm
- aww. It's ok. 2-13-2012 8:49pm
- i think it's ok for him to be curious about the temperature and to answer that question. and then separately it's ok to teach him to think about how someone might be feeling....(more) 2-13-2012 8:50pm
but one does not have to come at the expense of the other.
- op: we actually didn't know the answer to the temperature question. 2-13-2012 8:51pm
- you could say "i'm not sure exactly. i don't have a thermometer. But she doesn't feel hot, you can be sick without a fever." or something like that. 2-13-2012 8:52pm
- ^^what if you answer his question and then prompt him to think about her feelings like, "her temperature is normal, but she was throwing up. How do you think she might feel?...(more) 2-13-2012 8:53pm
what do you think a nice thing to say to her would be?" something like that?
- op: nice! i like that approach. 2-13-2012 8:54pm
- I think that's appropriate. Appeal to his logic and say that is what people expect. 2-13-2012 8:51pm
- omg this is so, so my guy. 2-13-2012 9:30pm
- op: how old? 2-13-2012 9:39pm
- 7. This is very typical of his response to things -- what percent, weight, height, speed blahblahblahcalgontakemeaway 2-13-2012 9:46pm
- op: my ds is 7 also. must have facts. numbers. totally devoid of emotion. 2-13-2012 9:52pm
- Have you read Look Me In the Eye? It is worth reading - because it may help you understand that your ds is NOT devoid of emotion....(more) 2-13-2012 10:38pm
He has feelings but he may not feel the same things in the same kind of way a neurotypical person does, and he definitely does not express them in any appropriate way.
- or I have, my guy isn't devoid of emotion, but major social deficits. At school tells kids whatbpercentbhe likes,them. 2-13-2012 10:45pm
- Totally appropriate. Tell him "This is a social rule and you may not understand it yet, but it's what we do because otherwise it hurts people's feelings." 2-13-2012 9:56pm