advice please (long story-sorry!) my grandmother is in the late stages of alzheimer's. she should be in a nursing home, but my mother insists on taking care of her. My mother is almost... (more)
70, and cannot physically do it. Case in point: my grandmother fell out of her chair and broke her hip the other night. She had surgery yesterday, but will need to go to a nursing home after she is released from the hospital. My mother is not hearing it. This situation is ruining my parents' lives. Their marriage is on the rocks because my dad feels trapped. Their house is like a nursing home. They can't go anywhere or do anything. Even with some hired help, it's just too much. She will be released in a couple days...how are my sisters and i going to make my mother see the light? this is especially hard, because my mom is an only child, so the weight of this is all on her shoulders.
posted January 2nd, 2010 at 8:19am in Toddler
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- is it the cost that is bothering your mother or just the idea of a nursing home? 1-2-2010 8:21am
- it's the idea. my grandmother has tons of money AND nursing home insurance. 1-2-2010 8:21am
- can your sisters and you do some leg work and find a really nice one? OR can your grandmother afford 24 hr care (or at least 12 hour) at your Mom's house? 1-2-2010 8:22am
- my older sister has already done this. she is in the medical field and has found 2 really nice options. 1-2-2010 8:24am
- maybe you can do some sort of "family intervention" and all talk to your mother gently at the same time. She is obviously feeling tremendous guilt over this situation and you need to...(more) 1-2-2010 8:26am
- my older sister has already done this. she is in the medical field and has found 2 really nice options. 1-2-2010 8:24am
- can your sisters and you do some leg work and find a really nice one? OR can your grandmother afford 24 hr care (or at least 12 hour) at your Mom's house? 1-2-2010 8:22am
- it's the idea. my grandmother has tons of money AND nursing home insurance. 1-2-2010 8:21am
- Why is no one supporting your mother, who wants to do this? It is really her fault that her mother fell? That could happen in nursing home. 1-2-2010 8:22am
- because it is killing her. she needs knee replacements and has other health issues of her own. plus, it's taking over their marriage. this has been going on for 5 years. it's not a good...(more) 1-2-2010 8:24am
- get a home nurse to come in 1-2-2010 8:24am
- we have tried this, but my mother has not been happy with any of the ones she has hired. if they aren't perfect, it doesn't work for her. i love my mother, but she is almost impossilbe...(more) 1-2-2010 8:26am
- op: i would like to add that my grandmother would be horrified if she were about herself. she spent her life trying to *not* be a burden...hence the nursing home insurance. she isn't...(more) 1-2-2010 8:28am
- has she ever been in a nursing home before? 1-2-2010 8:30am
- my mother or my grandmother? visiting or as a resident? 1-2-2010 8:31am
- your grandmother - as a resident. I'm wondering if you could convince your mom to "just try it for a month". 1-2-2010 8:32am
- no, she hasn't. this is the path my sister thinks we should take. she says we should convince my mom to let her go to one to rehab/recover after she is released from the hospital with...(more) 1-2-2010 8:33am the understanding that it doesn't *have* to be permanent. hopefully, she will see that it is a good place for her and will come around.
- rehab ones are often (not always!) nicer than the other ones so this may be a way to ease your mom into the idea. 1-2-2010 8:34am
- thanks for you input. we have some hard days ahead, so wish me luck! 1-2-2010 8:37am
- I do! I know how hard it is. We ended up with home care for my MIL and now for my Dad. But it seems like your Mom won't go for that either. It's possible she just hasn't found the...(more) 1-2-2010 8:38am right person, but it is equally possible that this option would never work for her. Good luck!!!
- thanks 1-2-2010 8:39am
- I do! I know how hard it is. We ended up with home care for my MIL and now for my Dad. But it seems like your Mom won't go for that either. It's possible she just hasn't found the...(more) 1-2-2010 8:38am
- thanks for you input. we have some hard days ahead, so wish me luck! 1-2-2010 8:37am
- rehab ones are often (not always!) nicer than the other ones so this may be a way to ease your mom into the idea. 1-2-2010 8:34am
- no, she hasn't. this is the path my sister thinks we should take. she says we should convince my mom to let her go to one to rehab/recover after she is released from the hospital with...(more) 1-2-2010 8:33am
- your grandmother - as a resident. I'm wondering if you could convince your mom to "just try it for a month". 1-2-2010 8:32am
- my mother or my grandmother? visiting or as a resident? 1-2-2010 8:31am
- has she ever been in a nursing home before? 1-2-2010 8:30am