My in-laws are impossible to deal with. They were supposed to come tomorrow for mil's bday but had not set a time. Dh calls and says how about noon and fil goes "I don't think mom... (more)

will like that" and dh says dcs have big tests on Monday so lunch is better. Mil calls him back saying "I get that you have big important plans and just fitting me in, but I don't want to do lunch" and she was PISSED. Now they are not coming. This is after we spent the whole am making the yard nice (since they are coming outdoors) and went to buy a nice meal.

posted February 27th, 2021 at 7:48pm in Toddler

67 Replies (log in or sign up to post a comment)

Are you all vaccinated? 2-27-2021 7:50pm
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- op-they have one dosee but we've seen them outdoors, distanced. 2-27-2021 7:50pm
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- np from her post I see they are gathering outside 2-27-2021 7:51pm
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  - oh see that now 2-27-2021 7:51pm
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Dump the food on her front yard 2-27-2021 7:50pm -1 dislike
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- disliker has no sense of humor 2-27-2021 7:56pm
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that's weird. in this pandemic lunch seems to be easier 2-27-2021 7:50pm
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- op-it's always their schedule, when it suits them. 2-27-2021 7:51pm +1 like
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  - ^and dh for once got mad, he was like the kids really have a lot of studying and I have work to do. She said "you only have one mother" as if a nice lunch is not good enough. 2-27-2021 7:52pm
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    - This post has been deleted. 2-27-2021 7:54pm
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      - op-now I see people think lunch is not reasonable, like we should do what she wants. 2-27-2021 7:56pm
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        EARLY dinner. 2-27-2021 7:57pm
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        op-but is it rude to say lunch? I feel like ybm is siding with her. 2-27-2021 7:57pm
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        not rude but it's not what she wanted?? 2-27-2021 7:58pm
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        op-but she's invited and has no reason why she can't come. If you are invited somewhere for lunch do you go "nah, dinner only"? 2-27-2021 7:59pm
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        np: this is a place where people like to pounce on an OP no matter what. It's a bunch of unhappy women hanging out with strangers on the internet on a Saturday night. 2-27-2021 7:57pm
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        maybe late lunch/ early dinner? 2-27-2021 7:57pm
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        that is fine but I would say late lunch rather than early dinner 2-27-2021 8:00pm
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        ^ also if noon is too much for them (it takes my parents hours to get out of the house lately) maybe say 2 p.m. late lunch? I don't think it should be an early dinner either...(more) 2-27-2021 7:59pm
        because they'll probably stay late and then get mad when dcs bow out to do homework. I can't believe they are so jerky about this, esp with hw! I still say dementia
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        op-they are very very active, always out eating, always at a bar with friends, only 71 and 72. Normally it's always like "we need to come to you between x time and y time because...(more) 2-27-2021 8:00pm
        we have something else later" and now that for once we say lunch is much better she pounces on dh and screams at him.
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        she is awful and abusive. Your poor DH what he put up with 2-27-2021 8:01pm
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        He is an only and she guilts him constantly, which makes him dread seeing her. The relationship is so formal and stilted. 2-27-2021 8:02pm
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        poor guy. you sound like a good wife to him! 2-27-2021 8:03pm
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        ty, had to vent somewhere because I am upset. 2-27-2021 8:04pm +1 like
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  - i think that you have to know who people are. people don't change 2-27-2021 7:53pm
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i swear you have to spell out every detail. my dh is like this. the day of he'll say we're doing what??? everythign has to be spelled out . we will see you february 28 at noon. 2-27-2021 7:51pm
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- op-they're not ok with that, mil threw a tantrum 2-27-2021 7:52pm
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  - well if you knew she wanted dinner why not say 5p dinner. that won't interfere with your dc's test. come on 2-27-2021 7:52pm
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    - op- He didn't know, they have nothing to do! Dcs would rather study in the evening. They always want things exactly on their terms. 2-27-2021 7:53pm
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      - and it sounds like you do as well, neither side is budging. lose-lose 2-27-2021 7:54pm +2 likes
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      - well that's who they are. stop expecting them to act differently. your kids can study prior. hang for dinner and cake and then excuse themselves to study 2-27-2021 7:54pm +1 like
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        op-you wouldn't be upset? Why is lunch so bad? I've never told people "nah, doesn't work for me" if invited and I literally had nothing else to do! 2-27-2021 7:55pm
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        maybe they do 2-27-2021 7:56pm
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        they don't! 2-27-2021 7:56pm
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  - np: she could be getting dementia. Or have an opioid addiction. Mine sort of got really mean at crazy when she started popping percocet 2-27-2021 7:56pm
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    - op-she's only 71. She was never nice tbh but now she spills whatever negativity. 2-27-2021 7:56pm
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sucks 2-27-2021 7:51pm
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fucking old people 2-27-2021 7:51pm
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as we get older we become more and more like toddlers--you can't change gears or switch schedules or change meal times!!! 2-27-2021 7:52pm +3 likes
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- omg my parents 2-27-2021 7:52pm
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  - my dh 2-27-2021 7:56pm
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- this is so true 2-27-2021 8:01pm
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  - op-they go out so much and whenever with their friends, they drive far to meet friends for whatever little lunches and dinners constantly. 2-27-2021 8:01pm
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How spiteful 2-27-2021 7:52pm
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early dinner come on dcs will be fine 2-27-2021 7:53pm +5 likes
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Such boomers!!! 2-27-2021 7:54pm
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- Seriously, can we say something else? I'm 57, I'm a boomer, and I would never pull the crap OP is describing. Not all boomers are elderly nightmares 2-27-2021 7:57pm
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  - okay, sorry. you are right. It's just something I am seeing a lot...that age group not retiring or paying their people, not understanding why younger generations don't have it as...(more) 2-27-2021 8:01pm
    well, just super entitlement. You are a young boomer, I feel like you are more X
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    - Thanks, I appreciate your comment. The oldest boomers are 75; the youngest are 56. We're not a monolith, and more than any other generation, we're all lumped together. 2-27-2021 8:04pm
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      - and I bet each of you has a different personality and interests. Lol I realize how badly I was generalizing! 2-27-2021 8:06pm
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        You're very kind. A rarity on YBM :) 2-27-2021 8:08pm +1 like
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Call back and ask to do an early dinner. Kids can study early 2-27-2021 7:54pm +2 likes
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bend a little 2-27-2021 7:54pm +1 like
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- op-we always do! This is 20 years of mil doing things exactly on her own terms. 2-27-2021 7:55pm
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  - right, the older people deserve this, your time will come 2-27-2021 7:56pm +1 like
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    - op-we literally always have them over on their own terms. I would never be like that with my kids. 2-27-2021 7:57pm
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      - that's great, don't be. has nothing to do with this 2-27-2021 7:57pm
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you can turn this around, have an early dinner. 2-27-2021 7:55pm +1 like
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you're just as stubborn 2-27-2021 7:55pm
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- op-I didn't talk to them. 2-27-2021 7:57pm
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Oh well! 2-27-2021 7:57pm
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OP: You are not in the wrong. I guarantee if you posted as the MIL you would be crucified for being inflexible and a terrible guest. Can you even do dinner outside at night? It...(more) 2-27-2021 8:02pm +1 like
would not be pleasant at my house - I'd need outdoor stuff to be during daylight.
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- op-we could but dh and dcs really really wanted lunch to then focus on work and studying since they have busy Mondays. It's very rare for my dh to actually fight back with her but...(more) 2-27-2021 8:03pm
  he is very upset.
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  - ^and it's like they don't get that he is really busy, spent a lot of time making the yard nice, making groceries so I could cook something nice. It's never enough for her. 2-27-2021 8:04pm
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    - Can you text your MIL saying that DH worked really hard on the yard to make it nice for her birthday and you are sorry it didn't work out? Like act like you don't know why they're...(more) 2-27-2021 8:07pm
      not coming and express disappointment about not seeing her?
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      - She would take it the wrong way I'm sure, she's really not very nice. She gets into fights constantly with people, just two weeks ago it was her sister. I just don't talk to her u...(more) 2-27-2021 8:10pm
        unless I see her.
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        smart- I'm the same way with my MIL. 2-27-2021 8:14pm
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My in-laws are impossible to deal with. They were supposed to come tomorrow for mil's bday but had not set a time. Dh calls and says how about noon and fil goes "I don't think mom... (more)

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My in-laws are impossible to deal with. They were supposed to come tomorrow for mil's bday but had not set a time. Dh calls and says how about noon and fil goes "I don't think mom... (more)

67 Replies (log in or sign up to post a comment)