Setting up a joint account with bf since we're buying house together. will be a joint checking for household expenses. he is putting $40K in as seed money to create a cushion,... (more)
then we will each start contributing to it going forward. i don't have anywhere near that level of funds to dump in, so the $40K is his. i feel like we should get a lawyer and mentioned that, but he says he doesn't care that he is putting in way more.
posted February 27th, 2021 at 12:54pm in Toddler
53 Replies (log in or sign up to post a comment)
- What would a lawyer do? 2-27-2021 12:55pm
- op- i don't know, create some kind of legal structure? 2-27-2021 12:55pm
- ^i think the reason he is saying that is because he is going to propose, as we have been talking marriage, but i still feel bad 2-27-2021 12:55pm
- good, sounds really good don't get all weird about it 2-27-2021 12:55pm +1 like
- op- yeah. every time i bring up any kind of legal structure around the house purchase, he brushes it off and says not to worry 2-27-2021 12:56pm
- are you getting a mortgage together or buying all cash 2-27-2021 12:58pm
- we are getting a mortgage together, both names on it 2-27-2021 1:00pm -1 dislike
- are you getting a mortgage together or buying all cash 2-27-2021 12:58pm
- op- yeah. every time i bring up any kind of legal structure around the house purchase, he brushes it off and says not to worry 2-27-2021 12:56pm
- Don’t buy a house without marriage 2-27-2021 12:56pm +3 likes, -1 dislike
- op- as i said, we are discussing it. we're solid. no worries there. 2-27-2021 12:57pm +1 like
- Discussing isn’t the same as actually married 2-27-2021 12:58pm -1 dislike
- op- duh, i think i know that. that's why i am wondering if we need an interim agreement. to be honest, so far no one involved in the deal - the realtors, our attorney for the...(more) 2-27-2021 12:59pm
- ^i am fully expecting we will get married. just not sure when. which is why i wonder if we ought to do something first legally. 2-27-2021 12:58pm
- doesnt sound like your both on the same page about the house or your relationship 2-27-2021 1:00pm -1 dislike
- lol, i knew someone would start flaming me. don't worry dear - we're fine 2-27-2021 1:01pm +1 like
- doesnt sound like it from your posts. he has the $ yet you are wanting to make spreadsheets? 2-27-2021 1:02pm -1 dislike
- lol, i knew someone would start flaming me. don't worry dear - we're fine 2-27-2021 1:01pm +1 like
- Break ups are ugly when you are renting. Will be 3x worse if dating. 2-27-2021 1:01pm
- doesnt sound like your both on the same page about the house or your relationship 2-27-2021 1:00pm -1 dislike
- you're not 20. Just get married, justice of the peace if you're truly going there. I would NEVER do some weird asset mingling without marriage. 2-27-2021 2:31pm
- Discussing isn’t the same as actually married 2-27-2021 12:58pm -1 dislike
- omg grow up 2-27-2021 12:57pm +1 like
- op- as i said, we are discussing it. we're solid. no worries there. 2-27-2021 12:57pm +1 like
- dont discount your sweat equity. good luck 2-27-2021 12:57pm -1 dislike
- Who is funding the down payment? 2-27-2021 12:58pm
- op- we are splitting it 50-50 2-27-2021 12:58pm
- Ok. I'd just make a spreadsheet, personally, and track the funds he put in. And if anything happens and you sell, I'd want his extra funding to be returned to him. 2-27-2021 1:00pm
- yeah, i think we'll do that. we have already been talking about spreadsheeting the joint account 2-27-2021 1:00pm
- have you been married before 2-27-2021 1:01pm
- yes, both divorced 2-27-2021 1:01pm
- That makes sense. 2-27-2021 1:02pm
- have you been married before 2-27-2021 1:01pm
- yeah, i think we'll do that. we have already been talking about spreadsheeting the joint account 2-27-2021 1:00pm
- Then put 50-50 into the account. That way everything will always be even and easy to divide. Split everything down the middle. That or let him buy the house and you can pay for...(more) 2-27-2021 1:02pm
- op- nah, we are already in the home buying process - whatever. i should not have even posted this bc i knew the flames would start. this site hates divorced moms who move on and...(more) 2-27-2021 1:05pm eventually live with bf/2nd dh. they flame you if you remarry, then they flame you if you live together without remarrying
- I just don't see why you are tying your finances to his if you aren't married. Or why you aren't sharing 50%/50%. Being divorced should make you more cautious, no? 2-27-2021 1:06pm
- we are discussing marriage. but just on the off chance he dies or i die before we do that i wonder if we need a legal thing. that said, the survivor could likely figure it out. 2-27-2021 1:07pm
- Do you have kids? 2-27-2021 1:08pm
- if one of you dies then the joint survivor gets the bank account and the house and the debt. 2-27-2021 1:09pm
- So would op's kids get anything? or her bf's kids? 2-27-2021 1:10pm
- op- we are not combining any assets other than the joint account for household - mortgage, food etc 2-27-2021 1:11pm
- I see that your kids are older. You should've put this in your post. I was assuming you were a spring chicken;-) 2-27-2021 1:12pm
- i guess. yeah, all the kids are adults 2-27-2021 1:15pm
- so you need to decide when passes, does his/her share go to the joint owner or pass to his dcs 2-27-2021 1:34pm
- yeah. i guess this might just be something to discuss on the horrifying & slim chance that something bad happens to one of us in the time between setting up the joint account /...(more) 2-27-2021 1:38pm
- The assets in the joint account immediately go to the survivor. Nothing legal needs to be done. If the house is in both your names then it would go to survivor. Since you both...(more) 2-27-2021 1:57pm have children, you would need to put it in a trust, for example, in which the home goes to the survivor but if sold or when survivor dies, profits go to your kids however you decide to do that.
- that sounds right. i just wonder if a lawyer needs to draw this up. but since we are likely getting married within a year of buying the house...it is essentially temporary 2-27-2021 1:59pm
- I doubt you need a lawyer, but look it up. My mom died with a handwritten will, no lawyer, that was perfectly legal because she had two witnesses who signed it with the addresses...(more) 2-27-2021 2:30pm
- that sounds right. i just wonder if a lawyer needs to draw this up. but since we are likely getting married within a year of buying the house...it is essentially temporary 2-27-2021 1:59pm
- The assets in the joint account immediately go to the survivor. Nothing legal needs to be done. If the house is in both your names then it would go to survivor. Since you both...(more) 2-27-2021 1:57pm
- yeah. i guess this might just be something to discuss on the horrifying & slim chance that something bad happens to one of us in the time between setting up the joint account /...(more) 2-27-2021 1:38pm
- so you need to decide when passes, does his/her share go to the joint owner or pass to his dcs 2-27-2021 1:34pm
- i guess. yeah, all the kids are adults 2-27-2021 1:15pm
- I see that your kids are older. You should've put this in your post. I was assuming you were a spring chicken;-) 2-27-2021 1:12pm
- op- we are not combining any assets other than the joint account for household - mortgage, food etc 2-27-2021 1:11pm
- So would op's kids get anything? or her bf's kids? 2-27-2021 1:10pm
- ^could you put $10 in account and he can put 10 in? 40k is a big cushion. 2-27-2021 1:07pm
- we are discussing marriage. but just on the off chance he dies or i die before we do that i wonder if we need a legal thing. that said, the survivor could likely figure it out. 2-27-2021 1:07pm
- youre neurotic 2-27-2021 1:06pm
- op- i admit, i am probably overthinking it. i do feel like much of this will be moot after we get married. 2-27-2021 1:14pm
- I just don't see why you are tying your finances to his if you aren't married. Or why you aren't sharing 50%/50%. Being divorced should make you more cautious, no? 2-27-2021 1:06pm
- op- nah, we are already in the home buying process - whatever. i should not have even posted this bc i knew the flames would start. this site hates divorced moms who move on and...(more) 2-27-2021 1:05pm
- Ok. I'd just make a spreadsheet, personally, and track the funds he put in. And if anything happens and you sell, I'd want his extra funding to be returned to him. 2-27-2021 1:00pm
- op- we are splitting it 50-50 2-27-2021 12:58pm
- When are you getting married, how far off is that date? 2-27-2021 12:58pm +2 likes
- oops, sorry, saw you aren't engaged 2-27-2021 12:59pm
- op- probably next year 2-27-2021 1:02pm
- Why buy a house together? 2-27-2021 12:59pm
- op- we need a place to live 2-27-2021 1:00pm
- Rent instead. If the relationship fails, you're in deeper shitnwith the house issue 2-27-2021 1:05pm -2 dislikes
- never mind 2-27-2021 1:05pm
- Rent instead. If the relationship fails, you're in deeper shitnwith the house issue 2-27-2021 1:05pm -2 dislikes
- op- we need a place to live 2-27-2021 1:00pm
- Leave it be. He wants to do this. Don't you be the one to spend that 40,000 unless you both agree on what it is being spent for. 2-27-2021 1:53pm +1 like
- If one of you dies, the other one automatically gets what is in the joint account. It's not complicated. Keeping other assets separate is smart since you both have children. When...(more) 2-27-2021 2:27pm