Elementary

  1. Elementary I don't like our sitter and I want to ler her go. Should I give her a 2-week notice, or tell her not to come back? 6-18-2018 2:37pm (4 replies)
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    • give here two weeks pay and do not have her coome back 6-18-2018 2:38pm
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    • Just let her go. You want someone you fired around your kids? 6-18-2018 2:39pm
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  2. Elementary I've posted before about losing my husband to cancer a few years ago. One child is doing very well in school; older (13) is having an extremely difficult time and has been kicked...(more) 5-17-2018 10:31am (12 replies)
    out of two schools for lack of attention; failing grades and not turning in homework. I am now looking at an online school for a few months to get her back on track -- with existing tutors and continuing therapy. Also, plenty of extracurricular activities to keep her engaged with friends. Anyone else have advice for online school options?
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    • My friend did it for her dd and they had a great experience - let me see what it was. 5-17-2018 10:34am
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      • ^ University Prep 5-17-2018 10:35am
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        • ^ ah just realized this is only Texas 5-17-2018 10:36am
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          • Thx. We're in LA, but I've been given a few options. It's all so overwhelming, but I know with tutors and a schedule at hand, we will make it work. Even if it's only for a few...(more) 5-17-2018 10:51am
            months to get her back on track.
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    • Your state probably has a free remote program. What state are you in? 5-17-2018 10:34am
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    • Iím so sorry for your loss and your childrenís loss. Xoxo 5-17-2018 10:35am
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    • I think it's a great idea. And she can progress at her own pace. So sorry for your loss and troubles. 5-17-2018 10:37am
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    • i think that's a great option. i pulled my 8th grader out of his middle school a few months ago, and we've been going through a local charter-but all the work is online. he's so...(more) 5-17-2018 10:38am
      much happier.
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      • Op: Good to know. I've reached out to a few people in my area who are doing the online school (just did not like the homeschool options I toured). Too, she is a real sleepyhead,...(more) 5-17-2018 10:49am
        so being able to sleep in and work at her own pace will be less stressful for all of us! I cannot tell you how many tardies this kid has had throughout her education career....
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  3. Elementary I am trying to get a gift for a black classmate of my dsólooked at Stratego that my dh said he loved as a child, but all the characters are white. I canít understand how the game...(more) 5-9-2018 9:58pm (33 replies)
    pieces havenít been updated. Itís sad.
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    • How about checkers? Itís for the African American and Native American. 5-9-2018 9:59pm
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    • Just get some dominos 5-9-2018 10:00pm
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    • Get the stratego. We know we live in a white world. 5-9-2018 10:00pm
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      • Op: Iím a white latinx and I feel giving the dd the game is clumsy. 5-9-2018 10:02pm
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        • I disagree, but am black. 5-9-2018 10:03pm
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          • Thanks, it helps to hear it wouldnít bother you. Being white and giving this game does change the dynamic a bit for me. Plus this child in the past has rejected his skin color...(more) 5-9-2018 10:06pm
            so there is that layer too.
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            • You canít hide from the child that heís in the minority. This is nuts. 5-9-2018 10:10pm
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              • op: I just want to give the df a gift in which he sees himself represented. As a latinx, I canít describe the emotions of finally seeing yourself represented on the screen, etc. 5-9-2018 10:27pm
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        • Op^^ df....plus I know the family...anyway, these responses are convincing me to just get the game. 5-9-2018 10:03pm
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          • np: It's a "meh" game. Your DH's childhood memories notwithstanding, just choose another game. 5-9-2018 10:05pm
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            • op: I never played it. He swears by it! 5-9-2018 10:08pm
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    • dude, get him stratego. you think he hasn't experienced this before? 5-9-2018 10:01pm
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    • just don't get lotion. I got a lot of slack for that. 5-9-2018 10:02pm
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      • I remember that. You did get a lot of slack but I think it was okay in the end. 5-9-2018 10:04pm
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        • i never did hear from the mom. 5-9-2018 10:04pm
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          • If I remember correctly, the moms of color here were supportive of the basket. 5-9-2018 10:07pm
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            • yes 5-9-2018 10:08pm
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              • Because it was really nice lotion. 5-9-2018 10:09pm
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            • What do you people think we (black) mothers are thinking? 5-9-2018 10:10pm
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              • No the white moms where unkind to her. The black moms were like that's a nice gift. 5-9-2018 10:12pm
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                • Please tell me this post and that one were fake. White people think we doníít like generic gifts? 5-9-2018 10:13pm
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                  • No - they thought somehow the giver was implying ashy skin. Which she was not. 5-9-2018 10:14pm
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                    • No offense, but white people just donít get us. 5-9-2018 10:16pm
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                      • I'm white, and not offended by this. Don't give me a basket of lotion though. :-) 5-9-2018 10:17pm
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                      • op: Itís sad and true. 5-9-2018 10:28pm
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      • Flack. What happened? 5-9-2018 10:05pm
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        • flak 5-9-2018 10:06pm
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          • Apologies. Autocorrect. 5-9-2018 10:06pm
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        • i got lotions and perfumes for a sweet sixteen present and was criticized because of the connotation that I was implying Black people have dry skin 5-9-2018 10:08pm
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          • You guys are overthinking this. We like nice skin products too. 5-9-2018 10:09pm
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        • flak 5-9-2018 10:10pm
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    • I was buying a board game for a child with two dads and all seemed to have a mom and dad on the box! 5-9-2018 10:11pm
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  4. Elementary My husband takes forever to come to the dinner table because he is always in the middle of something. He knows it bothers me that we are all sitting waiting for him and we agreed...(more) 5-8-2018 9:21pm (27 replies)
    I would give him a 10 minute warning. Tonight I told him dinner was almost ready and he didn't come to the table for 20 minutes. By that point we were all basically done eating. He then told me it was my fault because I didn't give him enough warning. Any advice?
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    • Itís disrespectful for sure. 5-8-2018 9:23pm
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    • Dh or dc?? 5-8-2018 9:23pm
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    • I think your dh sounds like dick. 5-8-2018 9:25pm
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    • maybe he should be in charge of dinner. then he will have plenty of warning. 5-8-2018 9:25pm
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    • dh here. i stopped making dinner for dw for r this reason. she just won't sit at the table and eat with us so we ignore her and its just me and the kids who eat. 5-8-2018 9:25pm
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      • when is the divorce final 5-8-2018 9:26pm
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        • this prevents divorce. we used to fight over this 5-8-2018 9:27pm
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          • op: we fight plenty over this and it seems so crazy to me. It's like he totally doesn't understand why it is frustrating to me. 5-8-2018 9:28pm
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            • Can you set a timer for him? 5-8-2018 9:29pm
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              • op: good idea. though seems a little silly to have to. but would have helped tonight when he insisted it was my fault for not warning him 5-8-2018 9:32pm
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                • If heís acting like a child then treat him like one! Of course, it should be done in a lighthearted way so a battle doesnít begin. 5-8-2018 9:34pm
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            • well i agree with you 100pct but since i started ignoring her things are more peaceful. it sucks that she Can't get off her phone to eat with us as a family 5-8-2018 9:32pm
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              • That's sad. And the part about not caring enough to come eat with the kids is what bothers me the most. 5-8-2018 9:33pm
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                • Yeah thatís sad. I love meals with my family. It really does make a difference. 5-8-2018 9:35pm
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                • well she doesn't work. she has all the time in the world. but i have to cook and clean up after the dinner, she's so disconnected and doesn't contribute to the house 5-8-2018 9:35pm
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                  • Is she depressed? 5-8-2018 9:36pm
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                  • is this the wife you post about a lot who doesn't want sex etc? 5-8-2018 9:47pm
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    • Oh come on. After all these years he can't be unaware that dinner is served at dinnertime. And, I'm sure he's not performing heart surgery in the basement. He can take a break. 5-8-2018 9:26pm
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      • Sounds passive aggressive 5-8-2018 9:27pm
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        • The dh. Not your comment! 5-8-2018 9:27pm
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    • Not to hijack, but my dh eats sandwiches before dinner and then complains heís not hungry. Has done this for years, even though he knows it hurts my feelings and makes me angry. 5-8-2018 9:27pm
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      • I would be angry too. 5-8-2018 9:30pm
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      • divorce him ASAP and find someone who isn't a total loser. 5-8-2018 9:36pm
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  5. Elementary Is it a fringe attitude to think of horse racing as animal abuse. My dh is a huge fan and made my dad watch the Derby with him. He talked it up and bet on it. I bit my tongue...(more) 5-7-2018 2:47pm (12 replies)
    because I didnít want him angry at me but I really wanted to say that the horses are young and exploited.
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    • i think it's the horses that don't make it to the track or to the high level of training like the derby horses who suffer. 5-7-2018 2:48pm
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      • This. The horses in the derby train for a couple of years and then spend the rest of their lives being well treated and reproducing 5-7-2018 2:52pm
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    • i think it is and if you google it many do 5-7-2018 2:51pm
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    • op: 8 year old dd, not dad 5-7-2018 2:53pm
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    • I agree with you. The US racing industry allows animals to be drugged, and there are lots of scurrilous practices. At least in the UK (where Iím from) drugs are banned, horses get...(more) 5-7-2018 2:57pm
      turn out, and there has been a massive effort in the last ten years to find race horses new jobsódressage, jumping etc.óin amateur homes. The ďRace Horse to Riding HorseĒ classes at county horse shows are a very popular show class. We obviously have the Grand National, though, which is controversial.
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      • op: These compromises in marriage are hard! I feel my views get short thrift for this, but my dd may come to her own conclusions as she is older. 5-7-2018 2:59pm
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        • np: you can talk to her about it, that there are differing views on it 5-7-2018 3:00pm
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    • what makes you think it's abusive? 5-7-2018 2:57pm
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      • The horses are broken in way too young, for one. Training a regular horse, and youíd maybe put a saddle pad on their back when theyíre three, and get on board for basic equitation...(more) 5-7-2018 3:00pm
        when theyíre four.
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    • here's a write up on what happens to horses after their racing career...(more) 5-7-2018 2:57pm
  6. Elementary Does anybody else feel very stressed out by your schedule?...(more) 4-26-2018 10:17am (23 replies)
    I work full-time and have one elementary age child. Even though I only have one child, I feel very stressed juggling everything in my schedule. My son needs support with his schoolwork, and he gets a ton of homework. To give him a life beyond school, he plays one team sport (we can't fit more than one season of one sport into the schedule without losing our minds), does Cub Scouts, CCD, swim lessons, and some academic stuff (like speech therapy) that he really needs. The team sports are the worst in terms of scheduling. Everything is announced at the last minute (games, practices, fundraising requirements) and very intrusive. There is always a conflict in the schedule that I have to figure out. I just don't know how other people put their kids in more than sport or handle having their kid in more than sport at a time. Where I live, boys are in a sport during every part of the year (not mine though) and some do 2 or more simultaneously. When do their kids have time to read a b
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    • We don't. My dcs have one sport each, games always Sunday at the same time. Then we have a music teacher come to the house. That's it. 4-26-2018 10:19am
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      • They don't have practices for their sports? Just a game on Sunday? 4-26-2018 10:23am
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        • My dd rides so she does that once a week, my ds has a practice once a week (all this is on tuesdays), then music once a week, and the sunday game for ds. 4-26-2018 10:25am
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          • Sounds very manageable! 4-26-2018 10:27am
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            • yes, it definitely is. 4-26-2018 10:28am
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    • You need a sport with a more predictable schedule. Some are better, some worse. 4-26-2018 10:20am
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      • From what I hear around my town, all of the teams sports are like this. The travel teams are far worse in terms of time commitment required, though. A sport that consists of just...(more) 4-26-2018 10:24am
        lessons would be different, such as the swim lessons my child has. Those are just the 30 minutes on Sunday afternoons that we selected. But team sports-- a whole different animal.
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        • My kids play all kinds of sports- travel & rec. some have very dependable schedules, some donít. If itís an issue for you, pick one that does or stick to swimming. 4-26-2018 10:26am
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          • He loves baseball, so we take on little league every spring. It's a 12-14 week juggle. We dropped soccer (only did it in the fall) because it was too much. 4-26-2018 10:29am
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            • Then it sounds like you have the right approach. Itís a stage of life & wont last long. 4-26-2018 10:30am
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              • np-I read in Simplicity Parenting that the average age of burnout in sports is 11. This travel team stuff is absurd, imo 4-26-2018 10:32am
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                • Itís a mixed bag. You have to do whatís right for your kids 4-26-2018 10:33am
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                  • what's right for our kids is not being stressed out, running all over creation and not letting them have enough down time 4-26-2018 10:33am
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                    • Right. We manage to do that and one kid plays a travel sport. 4-26-2018 10:34am
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                • If homework were not what it is, it would be easier to fit all of these other things in. But he gets tons. 4-26-2018 10:34am
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    • yes-two kids, work FT and do freelance. dh's job is nuts. We do not do any sort of team sports, I refuse to let that dominate our lives (not to mention our kids' lives) and make...(more) 4-26-2018 10:31am
      us crazy. They are in activities, but nothing that meets more than 1X a week and nothing on weekends.
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      • ^granted, we are in the city and my kids aren't asking to do those kind of things.... 4-26-2018 10:32am
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    • it's insane and you have to take control of the schedule and just tell your child no-it's too much. I remember really wanting ot take gymnastics at this particular gym in our...(more) 4-26-2018 10:33am
      town-my mom said no, it's too far of a drive. she was smart. I was upset, but obviously got over it.
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      • He needs speech, extra reading instruction, and a math tutor. But he also needs friends and fun. And to learn how to swim (safety issue at the very least). 4-26-2018 10:36am
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        • Np: that sounds like a lot. Iíd drop the sport for now. 4-26-2018 10:37am
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      • He is asking to go back to art class, but I have told him no so far because of the schedule. He is also interested in picking up an instrument. We just don't have time to do these...(more) 4-26-2018 10:39am
        things since Mon-Thurs evenings have to be preserved for homework and studying. Everything else (pretty much) is squeezed into Friday evening through Sunday afternoon.
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        • It's a lot, I get it. And I think it's sad that homework takes up so much of evenings (my kid only has 20 minutes right now and I'm having trouble getting THAT done!). Can you...(more) 4-26-2018 10:42am
          sit down and talk with him about prioritizing and dropping something so he can fit in more down time, or an art class? And hopefully swimming (up to proficiency) won't go on for too long. I keep meaning to read that book by Jennifer Senior about parenthood "All Joy and No Fun" or something like that....
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          • Your comments make sense, but I wouldn't know what to drop. I already said no to an instrument and art lessons. He only does one team sport--and only for one season-- per year...(more) 4-26-2018 10:48am
            (baseball in the spring).
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  7. Elementary Anyone order from brandless? any recommendations? thanks! 4-16-2018 7:55pm (6 replies)
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    • No, but I looked into it--in the end I didn't really eat the foods they have so it didn't seem to make that much sense for me. 4-16-2018 7:56pm
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      • I'm going to try it but it was hard to get to the free shipping amount. was hoping someone would say, get the pasta, or something like that! 4-16-2018 7:58pm
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        • well, obviously get the pasta. Always get the pasta. 4-16-2018 8:00pm
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          • lol! ok, should I get the, um, lentil puffs? 4-16-2018 8:00pm
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    • report back--I've considered ordering the picnic pak for my hurricane preparations. Hate having all the plastic but after Irma--you really need disposable stuff. 4-16-2018 8:02pm
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      • that's a good idea. really can't beat the prices. I'm trying the q-tips and tin foil and a few other things like that. kinda sad how excited I am. *sigh* 4-16-2018 8:28pm
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  8. Elementary My 8 year old dd came home from a play date at a friendís house saying she had played a game called bar and worn an outfit and served the dads drinks and that there was beer and...(more) 3-18-2018 1:23pm (8 replies)
    wine. My husband was with her as he gets along super well with the dad of my ddís friend. This is a family I like and the mom was there taking care of the younger sibling. I asked my daughter if she served alcohol to the grown-ups and she said no because beer and wine werenít alcohol. I told her I didnít like that part of the game and she shouldnít serve alcohol to grownups. She started backtracking because she didnít want me to stop her from playing the game again. She said she only served her friendsís dad a beer. I clarified that beer and wine were alcohol but then my dh was furious and said they had fun and I ruined everything by being so negative and that he would call our friends to prove I was wrong. He had had too much to drink, he frequently drinks too much with this friend - they have even gotten drunk and weepy at our house which put me in the position of comforting the girls who were worried. How else could I have approached this to avoid things escalating in an ugly way?
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    • Did you tip her with dollar bills in her cleavage? 3-18-2018 1:25pm
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    • Just said ok dear thatís nice. Kids get their parents drinks sometimes. 3-18-2018 1:27pm
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    • I think this is more about you being upset about your dh's drinking. It sounds like that is the problem. The girls grabbing beers for the dads is no big deal imo. 3-18-2018 1:27pm
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      • op:Thanks. I wanted to know if girls getting a beer for their dad's is universally viewed as troubling. That my dh can't stop drinking and doesn't ackowledge how it changes his...(more) 3-18-2018 1:30pm
        behavior is a problem to me.
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        • I agree. My dh is a recovering alcoholic, so I understand how frustrating and annoying it can be when dh acts stupid due to drinking. 3-18-2018 1:32pm
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          • op: He normally gets belligerant with me but this time he did it in front of dd and said I was evil and despicable. It was horrible. I wish I had let the game slide but it...(more) 3-18-2018 1:36pm
            worried me that she said wine and beer aren't alcohol.
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            • I understand. He was very wrong to treat you that way. I also think that 8yo is too young for dd to have to worry about her dad's drinking, so I would keep comments about it toa...(more) 3-18-2018 1:37pm
              minimum around her.
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              • op: I agree. I feel awful and more awful for her. How should I handle it, just keep my head down? I also don't want her to think the way dh treats me is okay. Maybe she...(more) 3-18-2018 1:42pm
                doesn't even notice his comments?
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  9. Elementary Teachers: First grader at reading level I (i) right now. Not sure if that is guided or independent. Is that a little behind where my child should be? Thanks. 3-2-2018 8:08pm (15 replies)
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  10. Elementary Any Miami Beach moms on that could give me guidance on elementary & middle schools in the area? We are open to public or private options. We are moving to the area in August. 2-27-2018 7:47pm (1 reply)
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    • Are you planning on public? What arenas are you considering moving? My niece is in a public in Aventura- not tech Miami beach 2-27-2018 7:52pm
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  11. Elementary Tell us about your formula feeding experience!...(more) 2-25-2018 11:59am (1 reply)
    Hello Everyone, We are currently Masters students at Simmons College in Boston, MA completing our thesis and need your help! You are invited to take part in a survey exploring why mothers formula feed compared to breastfeeding, and what influences caregivers to choose one brand of infant formula over another. The survey takes approximately 5-15 minutes to complete and can be completed by mobile phone or computer by clicking the link below. Taking part in this survey is completely voluntary, any answer can be skipped at any time, and all answers will remain anonymous and strictly confidential. This survey is strictly for educational purposes and will not be used in any marketing initiatives whatsoever. https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/simmonsinfantformula5 Thank you, Christine L. DTR & Emilee S. RD, LDN MS Nutrition and Health Promotion Candidates Simmons College; Boston, MA
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    • duh, we don't want our boobs to be giant flap bags 2-25-2018 12:02pm
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  12. Elementary 13 y/o DD has been struggling academically since DH died over a year ago. She has willfully avoided doing homework; just found out today she and another girl skipped a class;...(more) 2-22-2018 9:33pm (31 replies)
    shopping online instead of doing her homework in class on computer(!). Someone has suggested a therapeutic boarding school before things get worse. This is truly a last resort. Between therapists, tutors, mentors; constant coordinating of play dates with friends; not to mention just letting her know I love her so much and want the best for her, she continues to make poor choices. My heart aches so much, but I am also internally angry and feel helpless.
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    • i am so, so sorry. are you yourself getting counseling? 2-22-2018 9:33pm
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      • Yes. We all are. 2-22-2018 9:35pm
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        • are the counselors recommend boarding school? because sending her away from you after such a loss seems like the wrong thing to do. 2-22-2018 9:36pm
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          • OP: Totally agree. A posh, waspy christian school, mind you. 2-22-2018 9:37pm
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            • oy. i'm sorry-that sounds terrible. she needs you right now to love on her and be her mom. academics are so secondary. just be with her and spend time together. 2-22-2018 9:38pm
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          • ^and academics should not be your top priority when she is 13 2-22-2018 9:37pm
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            • OP: I am considering a homeschool co-op (several friends have gone this route for various reasons to get their kids back on track. 2-22-2018 9:41pm
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              • yes! i highly recommend that. i'm actually going to an orientation tomorrow for one here in san diego for my 8th grader who is struggling emotionally 2-22-2018 9:42pm
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          • Therapists are not suggesting boarding school. Dead set against it, as I am. 2-22-2018 9:46pm
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    • dont do boarding school 2-22-2018 9:34pm
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      • Hesitant and was dead set against it when previous school recommended it. Now at new school, it seems like things have gotten worse. I know 7th grad is hard enough w/o changing...(more) 2-22-2018 9:37pm
        during the year. I would rather hire a shadow or someone (other than me) to stay on top of her school work and mentor her.
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        • WHy other than you? That's who she wants 2-22-2018 9:37pm
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        • can you homeschool her for a while? 2-22-2018 9:39pm
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          • See above. Yes, considering it. But I wouldn't want to be the one doing the teaching. That would just make things worse! 2-22-2018 9:45pm
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    • I'm so sorry :-( I don't think sending her away will help though. Hopefully the school is understanding? 2-22-2018 9:34pm
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    • she is 13 and that is a horrible thing for a child to go through (not to mention a tragic, horrible thing for you too). I guess I would try to be patient and know that she can...(more) 2-22-2018 9:35pm
      straighten herself out at some point.
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    • I would not send her away. I would take a step back from extra stuff and bring things closer to home. Less activities more of your time and attention 2-22-2018 9:35pm
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      • OP: We are already not using tv at home (she has lost her phone privileges for inappropriate activity, but I let her have it briefly to reward her when she makes good choices). 2-22-2018 9:38pm
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        • OP: and meant to say that we do a lot of fun things together --we live in New Orleans, so plenty of things to do and we're close to beaches. 2-22-2018 9:39pm
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        • being punitive is NOT the way to go. you need new counseling STAT if this is the advice you are getting. 2-22-2018 9:39pm
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          • I'm already spending a shitload on therapy.... 2-22-2018 9:42pm
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            • my point is that if they're telling you to take away the few, fun outlets she has to reach her friends or feel "normal" that's super shitty advice. and i would find someone else...(more) 2-22-2018 9:43pm
              to help us.
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        • No- I don't mean punish her. I mean like less socializing with other people, less after school activities and running around. Just take time for you and her to just be around each...(more) 2-22-2018 9:40pm
          other and organically and comfort each other from this huge loss of your DH and her father
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          • ^Don't worry about having fun. 2-22-2018 9:41pm
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          • Thanks -- and we spend a lot of time together. 2-22-2018 9:42pm
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    • are you part of the rich crowd? bc that's not a typical answer to the problems you are dealing with. im so sorry. it sounds hard. but sending her off after dad dies will be...(more) 2-22-2018 9:35pm
      traumatizing for both of you
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      • OP: We are not wealthy, but many of the families at the school are. Headmaster is from the Northeast and is a boarding school advocate. Not my bag; nor in my budget. 2-22-2018 9:40pm
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    • That sounds grueling for all of you. I feel for you. But don't do boarding school. It would be better...(more) 2-22-2018 9:37pm
      For her to have a lousy high school transcript but to be with you. She can go to community college and pull it together then when she's not grieving.
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      • Not inclined to send her off -- especially after losing DH. I do feel like I'm losing this kid, though. I can't get anything out of her. She likes her therapist and her...(more) 2-22-2018 9:44pm
        psychiatrist.
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    • Funny, I once dated a guy who was shipped off to boarding school after his dad died. He couldn't bond. 2-22-2018 9:39pm
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  13. Elementary Really at my wit's end.... DH died over a year ago and older dd has been struggling at school (had to move her to another school last fall). She has flunked her past three histor...(more) 1-25-2018 6:09pm (21 replies)
    y tests and I fear she is going to have to repeat a grade. Has a tutor/therapist/anti-depressant and just doesn't seem to give a shit. My heart is breaking for this kid. Working closely with school but very down about this right now.
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    • that sounds so hard, i am sorry. i am praying to the heavens right now that she has a turnaround. 1-25-2018 6:11pm
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      • thank you so much. I can only do so much for her. I told her I can't take her tests or make it stick inside her head. But if she wants to go to high school with her friends,...(more) 1-25-2018 6:14pm
        she has to do the work now.
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    • I'm so sorry. Hang in there. What happened with DH? 1-25-2018 6:13pm
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      • He had cancer 1-25-2018 6:14pm
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        • You are doing the best you can, I can tell. In time your DD will do better, if she falls behind and has to repeat some stuff, that's ok. 1-25-2018 6:21pm
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          • I know. I just know she will be so down on herself and already is. But she keeps digging herself into a deeper hole. Maybe this is the only way out of it. 1-25-2018 6:26pm
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    • I'm sorry. I want to say the school should give her a break but that might backfire if they promote her and she is lacking the foundation for next year's work 1-25-2018 6:14pm
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      • The other school (where she had been since pre-k) gave her every opp to catch up. But then they would catch her playing video games or shopping (!) online instead of doing her...(more) 1-25-2018 6:16pm
        homework. As angry as I am that the other school "invited her to leave", I also know she has to pull some of her own weight.
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    • Well...given what you've been through as a family, if she does have to repeat to get her bearings again, that isn't the end of the world, and switching schools is hard, even...(more) 1-25-2018 6:17pm
      without a dad dying...Is it possible that she has an undiagnosed learning issue? Was she a great student before her dad got sick? I'm so sorry you have to go through this as a single parent. Sending an e-hug, mama. You're doing well and nothing is unfixable.
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      • TY... She has been an organized, lazy student forever, actually! Nothing new, but I know anything pre-existing just cracks wide open after a tragedy. She should have probably...(more) 1-25-2018 6:20pm
        been held back last year, but school thought it would be too much to lose her father AND be held back in the same year. It's so discouraging because she is such a smart kid.
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        • if you can afford it, get her a neuro-psych. It was the best money I ever spent on my dd. It helped me understand her and the way she learned so much better. And, more...(more) 1-25-2018 6:21pm
          importantly, helped her unerstand herself.
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          • Wow.... interesting. I have to honestly say she and I are not thrilled with her current psychologist (who has dd on a low dose of anti-depressants - which seem to help). ADHD is...(more) 1-25-2018 6:23pm
            on the spectrum but have been hesitant to go the med route since she's on the other meds. I will definitely look into this, thanks!
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            • are you NYC? 1-25-2018 6:23pm
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              • not anymore. new orleans 1-25-2018 6:25pm
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                • ask school psych or pediatrician for recs. It is a fascinating look into their little brains. And, if she has ADHD, this explains a lot of the behavior. She needs some scaffolding...(more) 1-25-2018 6:27pm
                  at school and to understand her own brain so that she can figure out why she's not succeeding. No kid wants to fail, I don't care what they say. she's suffered a trauma, AND she's having trouble in school. It is possible that these are separate problems. It is possible they are the linked or related. You just need to get ot the bottom of it. Good luck, horrible to see your kid suffering. I wish you both well.
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                  • I appreciate this so much! 1-25-2018 6:30pm
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    • This is so hard. DH lost his mother young and it sent him into a tailspin. Took a year off of school, actually. I think that there is no way to rush this, but eventually she will...(more) 1-25-2018 6:20pm
      come around. Right now the death has likely caused her to question the importance of doing anything if it can all just disappear. I think an early death of a parent instigates an existential crisis of sorts. Older adults though devastated can deal with it, but when it's in one's formative years, it can be really awful. My DH found comfort in reading about near death experiences and some Buddhist works because he just wanted to believe that there was something that connected it all, that it all made sense somehow. I hope your dd finds peace and you are a great mom.
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      • Thank you. I've thought about doing homeschooling (not personally, because that would drive both of us up the wall!!). But I know of a co-op school here through friends. 1-25-2018 6:25pm
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        • It may not be a bad idea, especially if she continues to struggle. It may be hard just to go through the motions and outside of that routine she may thrive again. 1-25-2018 6:26pm
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          • I told her if she has to repeat a grade, we're not moving. She'll just have to tough it out. 1-25-2018 6:26pm
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    • I'm very sorry for your and your DD's loss, that's terribly sad. In terms of DD, you're ahead of...(more) 2-7-2018 9:24am
      many families in that she's getting therapy, tutoring, meds...perhaps joining a bereavement group, of kids who've lost a parent, might help her? Maybe contact a cancer organization or helpline, or if DH had hospice, the social worker or counselor connected with them. I also agree with the other posters about getting a neuropsych (and possibly researching that co-op as well). Take care.
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  14. Elementary Educational Therapist/Learning Specialist and Test Prep. Available...(more) 1-15-2018 8:52pm (0 replies)
    I am an Educational Therapist/Learning Specialist with over 22 years of experience working with students in grades K-12 with all different learning differences. I currently have availability for new students
    You can also find my profile on Linkedin. https://www.linkedin.com/in/allison-schupak-21272145
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  15. Elementary Swtor cheap credits with up to $10 cash coupons on Swtor2credits during Jan.9-Jan.15...(more) 1-11-2018 3:03am (0 replies)
    NEW Blood Banquet Visit Count Vlad hotel swtor credits for sale and meet a variety of paranormal characters for an all new interactive dining experience. This one of a kind spooky atmosphere paired with unexpected twists and turns offers guests the chance to sink their teeth into a whole new way of dining. With an eclectic menu, haunting music and an atmosphere to die for, Blood Banquet is otherworldly.. Unfortunately, the Wall in Washington still doesn't recognize Corcoran and his 73 shipmates, five of them Pennsylvanians. The USS Frank E. Evans Association, a group of veterans and family members that once included Tom Corcoran, has petitioned the government for years. In the 1990s, we wanted to challenge our players, so we started scheduling football games outside the city. We lost that Saturday morning, but it was a great beginning, as our players demonstrated self control and team control. The fans at the prestigious school were amazed at the positive behavior of the Bok
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  16. Elementary This post has been deleted. 12-17-2017 9:21pm (6 replies)
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    • lol 12-17-2017 9:22pm
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    • Sounds like it wonít work for you 12-17-2017 9:22pm
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      • That's what it's all about then, right....? 12-17-2017 9:23pm
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        • Yes. Itís not dinner companion 12-17-2017 9:26pm
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    • I was thinking about being a surgeon but I don't want to operate on people. 12-17-2017 9:23pm
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      • OP: LOL......okay. You answered my question. Thanks...lol 12-17-2017 9:24pm
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  17. Elementary I just now connected the raw cookie dough I was eating on Saturday to the unprecedented... bowel urgency I experienced last night, in which I did not...(more) 12-11-2017 2:09pm (2 replies)
    even make it to the bathroom in time.
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    • Gross 12-11-2017 2:10pm
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    • So you ate raw egg and you are surprised at this? 12-11-2017 2:11pm
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  18. Elementary Http://supplementlab.org/shred-fx/...(more) 11-20-2017 3:30am (1 reply)
    Shred FX
    oxygen, is not unusual in babies due to the stress of hard work and transport. however desp Shred FX e the fact that a brand new infant's blood is prepared to compensate for short-time period low oxygen degrees, if the oxygen deliver is interrupted or reduced for long periods, the kid might also make bigger

    http://supplementlab.org/shred-fx/
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    • - no subject -...(more) 3-15-2018 11:23am
      dont like it!
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  19. Elementary I've been paying for private insurance for dc's and me (rolled over DH's insurance plan after he died). Just informed that Humana will no longer cover individual plans. Not sure...(more) 11-14-2017 9:36pm (0 replies)
    where to go from here.
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  20. Elementary Add for Upscale Sensual Body Work..... What does that mean? 11-14-2017 9:31pm (0 replies)
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  21. Elementary Http://healthpluscogni.com/pro-shred-testo/...(more) 11-13-2017 6:10am (0 replies)
    ProShred Testo
    Ours could pop out approximately $ one thousand cheaper, however additionally they have more complications. In a nutshell, I notion about it very significantly. I thought severely approximately my destiny. i used to be expecting an obvious handicap. alternatively, he could not have that much hit both.

    http://healthpluscogni.com/pro-shred-testo/
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  22. Elementary Need some big time/non-judgemental advice from moms who've BTDT and are drinking with me right now... 12 y/o daughter has changed her passcode on iPhone because I found deleted...(more) 11-9-2017 8:06pm (25 replies)
    photos of her taking photos and videos of her anus and doing all sort of inappropriate videos. Also checked her Instagram/snapchat accts to make sure nothing has been submitted privately. I have her phone now (she's in the bathtub but told me at dinner she changed the code so I couldn't get in). She had smuggled the phone in the bathroom a few weeks ago (the date on deleted photos). She knows phone is only allowed in common areas at home. Rambling, I know, but a widow for a year and dealing with all sorts of issues. Yes, we are all in counseling, but I need guidance from moms now, please.
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    • I'd get her a flip phone 11-9-2017 8:07pm
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      • OP: That would be awesome, actually! She would hate it, lol. I am in the process of downloading and app to shut off her phone w/o taking it away. But I can't get into her...(more) 11-9-2017 8:09pm
        phone to set up the the process. She knows if she wants the phone back tomorrow -- or ever, I need the code to get in.
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    • p.s. She has lost her phone privilages for the evening, btw. 11-9-2017 8:07pm
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    • take the phone away. 11-9-2017 8:07pm
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      • Got it. Just need to get in to set up the parental control app I donwloaded earlier today. 11-9-2017 8:09pm
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      • this 11-9-2017 8:39pm
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    • omg! i am so sorry. 11-9-2017 8:08pm
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    • Keep the phone indefinitely. She is only allowed it during a couple established hours and it must stay in the kitchen. It also charges in the kitchen. Be firm and do not give...(more) 11-9-2017 8:08pm
      an inch. Keep with the therapy.
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      • Thank you. Have the phone. She just crapped in her Easter Basket (as a very good friend of mine used to say....) 11-9-2017 8:14pm
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      • Charge in your bedroom at night. She will sneak to kitchen and take it while you sleep. 11-9-2017 8:16pm
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        • OP: Yes. I keep it in my room at night and she gets it back in the morning 11-9-2017 8:18pm
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          • Smart. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with her. I don't usually agree with the take the phone away as punishment I so often see on ybm, but in your case it is exactly...(more) 11-9-2017 8:22pm
            the right consequence. She isn't ready for the responsibility of having a smart phone.
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            • OP: She has already lost the privilege of bringing home school laptop because of ceaseless game playing (switching screens back and forth to make it look like she was actually do...(more) 11-9-2017 8:25pm
              ing homework). Looks like I'll be getting a land line....
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    • I'm sorry it sucks, and I think there are too many moms here who think this couldn't or doesn't happen. 11-9-2017 8:09pm
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      • ^beyond that, she is not ready for a phone. I hope you guys can get some good advice in therapy. 11-9-2017 8:09pm
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        • Thank you. Me too. This was her father's phone. We don't have a land line and it has been helpful to get in touch with her. I'm actually glad I'm not working right now so not...(more) 11-9-2017 8:11pm
          leaving her alone with her own devices for a few hours and such.
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    • Phone goes away as others have said. Also, as much as you can, a calm conversation about why she did it, what she thought she would do with the pics, and an explanation of why...(more) 11-9-2017 8:11pm
      this is so serious.
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      • Thank you. Yes. Explained to her yesterday when I found the photos (and also calmly explained that as the one who is paying for the privilage of her having the phone to begin...(more) 11-9-2017 8:18pm
        with, it is also my responsibility to protect her from all sorts of Stranger Danger. She didn't like it, but said she understood. But changing the code -- and telling me (!) right before leaving it on the kitchen counter to take a bath -- well that was just dumb luck.
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        • OP: What kind of nerd am I that, amidst this important conversation, I have to point out that I spelled privilege wrong.... 11-9-2017 8:20pm
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    • being a parent is so hard - you are not alone 11-9-2017 8:15pm
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      • Thank you. I know I have a good tribe -- and thank you for being a part of that tribe tonight. I know it isn't always the case down this online rabbit hole. 11-9-2017 8:22pm
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    • flip phone pronto. and maybe some therapy 11-9-2017 8:31pm
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      • See above -- shitload of therapy 11-9-2017 8:51pm
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  23. Elementary Do you feel a child can have sensory issues but not ASD? 11-5-2017 10:17am (12 replies)
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    • Of course 11-5-2017 10:19am
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      • how do you help that type of child - my DS has social deficits - and it causes children to shy away from him - he is 10 years old and I have playdates to help - that goes better...(more) 11-5-2017 10:20am
        than less structured settings like recess, where he is alone.
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        • I think you need to let him be who he is. At recess maybe the thing for him to do is book club, or study hall, art class these are things that are offered in my school during...(more) 11-5-2017 10:23am
          recess. Or you can ask the playground monitors to assist him in finding one friend or small group to play with. I think you are doing the right thing having play dates, but somekids either never do well in huge playground situations or they do better come middle school. You canít change that as much as you can work within your dsís personality boundaryís.
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    • WHat is ASD? 11-5-2017 10:19am
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      • aspergers 11-5-2017 10:21am
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        • Thatís what i though, no. Sensory disorder and asbergers do not go hand in hand. I donít know what many people make that mistake/misunderstanding of sensory issues. 11-5-2017 10:26am
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    • Everyone has them. I think the difference is whether it interferes with day to day functioning. 11-5-2017 10:20am
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      • it interferes with his ability to form social relationships - and his self worth is impacted 11-5-2017 10:21am
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        • Is he unable to form any social relationships? THat is aspergers. 11-5-2017 10:27am
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          • i don't think unable - he just very challenged in groups....awkward and not fitting in 11-5-2017 10:32am
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            • The most important thing I learned with my ds is that he diesnít have to ďfit inĒ he has to find people that ďfit himĒ I always said this to him and he and I really changed our...(more) 11-5-2017 10:35am
              mind set once we verbalized he has to find people that fit him.
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              • And until he finds those people it is perfectly fine to to find his own thing to do. 11-5-2017 10:36am
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  24. Elementary My 10 year old DS struggles socially - has anyone seen their child learn social skills, with therapy, skills groups or otherwise? I really want to help my son... 11-5-2017 10:17am (9 replies)
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    • Nt at 10, but in preschool I have seen it help many of the kids in dsís playgroup 11-5-2017 10:20am
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    • what is the issue? what do you mean struggles socially? 11-5-2017 10:23am
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      • he is not skilled at approaching and breaking in to play - he can be somewhat awkward - a schedule play dates and he does better - but at recess, when on his own w/ many kids, he...(more) 11-5-2017 10:26am
        stays to himself, cannot navigate
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        • hmm... obviously it bothers him? Have you spoken to a psychologist? 11-5-2017 10:27am
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          • before school started - psch said perhaps your child is an introvert and leave him alone - don't push it - however, now that school started i can see it is more than that because...(more) 11-5-2017 10:31am
            my son feels badly and has said to me that "social situations are becoming very difficult" - so now i think maybe my son should see psych - just don't want him to have stigma - really challenging for me to know what to do!
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            • Introverts still feel bad about not being extroverts. He just has to find the other introverts on the playground, in fact they might not be on the playground, find out if there...(more) 11-5-2017 10:34am
              are clubs happening during lunch or recess or if there are tasks he can do for the school instead of being forced onto the playground.
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        • This was my ds. It was much better when we switched to a small private school. Really helped him feel less overly stimulated and nervious on the playground. It was all to do with...(more) 11-5-2017 10:30am
          sensory disorder and hearing everything at once, he has perfect pitch and an amazing ear for sounds and that was very hard for him, on the positive side he is an excellent musician because of it.
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  25. Elementary My 7 year old ds likes Halloween but not trick or treating all that much. He prefers to stay home and open the door for trick or treaters. Does this sound strange? 10-30-2017 10:58pm (7 replies)
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    • not at all... go with the flow. Not every kid is into taking candy from strangers 10-30-2017 10:59pm
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      • I get that. I don't mind staying home. I would not force him to trick or treat. 10-30-2017 11:07pm
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    • No 10-30-2017 10:59pm
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    • I know tons of kids like this 10-30-2017 10:59pm
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      • Good to hear. I don't know any! 10-30-2017 11:05pm
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    • I can see how this would actually be more fun and interesting. 10-30-2017 11:04pm
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      • For me, it makes the evening easier! I don't mind, but I don't want ds to miss out on fun with his peers. Of course, I will not force him to trick or treat. 10-30-2017 11:06pm
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