Search Results for "redshirt | redshirting"

  1. Toddler Speaking of redshirting -- there was a really compelling article in The Atlantic recently arguing that the default should be to have boys start school a year later than girls,...(more) 10-17-2022 9:10am (42 replies)
    given what we know about the differences in brain development. Parents could choose to override that default if they like, but that should be the go-to.
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    • I’d be fine with this 10-17-2022 9:11am
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      • I think it would be best for all involved. Even girls would benefit from having fewer high-need, disruptive boys in the class. 10-17-2022 9:22am
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    • Do parents of boys get a stipend for the additional year of daycare? 10-17-2022 9:11am
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      • if you perceive raising kids as transactional that's a you thing 10-17-2022 9:11am
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        • Did I say that? No. But daycare is fucking expensive and public school eases that burden for many families 10-17-2022 9:13am
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          • yes it is. but when you have children any number of things can get in the way of your financial planning. it's so inane to comment on day care cost 10-17-2022 9:13am
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            • You realize that red-shirting is a UMC thing, right? Because of the money? It would disadvantage parents of boys 10-17-2022 9:15am
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              • having children is expensive. and throws you curve balls. you are generalizing something when children need to be treated as individuals. 10-17-2022 9:17am
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          • Yes, which is why a parent who cannot afford a year of daycare can send their kid on ahead 10-17-2022 9:14am
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      • Nope, but they make higher salaries coming out by virtue of being male. 10-17-2022 9:12am
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        • ^ maybe your stipend could be funded by a tax on overpaid male employees. 10-17-2022 9:13am
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          • If that includes corporations, cool 10-17-2022 9:14am
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        • That doesn't help parents 10-17-2022 9:13am
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      • I’m not aware of any stipends for daycare 10-17-2022 9:12am
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      • It also means they start working and earning later, that is a reason they’ll have less at retirement 10-17-2022 9:25am
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    • i think parents should make the decision based on the individual child. because parents know their kid better than anyone. i asked so many questions. of the preschool teachers,...(more) 10-17-2022 9:11am
      the pediatrician, the speech therapist we needed for him. i had the answer all along though.
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      • I get that, but most of the time, parents think they need a reason (dx or visible delays) to hold a boy back when really, in most cases, it's just a good idea -- by making it the...(more) 10-17-2022 9:14am
        default, you'd lead people to make the right choice more often.
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        • my pediatrician actually said to me " you are not seriously thinking of putting him in K this year , are you?" he knew right away as did i that the right choice was the hold back....(more) 10-17-2022 9:16am
          also his bday was only one day before cutoff. he was straddling two years. and he is exactly hwere he belongs, i see that now, he's 17!
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        • are we sure the issue isn't education itself? We are expecting much more of our younger grades. 10-17-2022 9:33am
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          • Good point. Kindergarten has gotten so academic. 10-17-2022 9:35am
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    • I sent my girl ahead, my oldest boy held, but my youngest boy I think would have been ready (his birthday is right after the cut off, which makes him the oldest in his class). He...(more) 10-17-2022 9:12am
      is going to be VERY advantaged, already is, intellectually and physically.
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      • ^I think we really need to have less shame around the idea and stop calling it "red-shirting" for starters. 10-17-2022 9:12am
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      • Red shirting is an athletics term and isn’t pejorative. 10-17-2022 9:14am
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        • It is 100% pejorative because it snakily implies that all kids are held back to excel in sports. I am not sure if you are being genuine here or not, but it is not a neutral term. 10-17-2022 9:15am
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          • ^auto correct^ snakily = snarkly 10-17-2022 9:16am
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      • I posted below about re-classing my 9th grader. It's night and day -- he would have struggled all of high school. Biology is what it is. And this is a kid who was SUPER ready...(more) 10-17-2022 9:16am
        for K -- was reading, doing math, very socially appropriate, etc. Progress is not linear.
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        • 100%. And this idea that calling it "red-shirting" doesn't have tons of negative connotations is a joke, Red shirting = holding a child back to gain an advantage. Most of us do it...(more) 10-17-2022 9:17am
          so our child won't flounder when faced with challenges they aren't developmentally ready for.
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    • this is new york city privates 10-17-2022 9:13am
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      • And in a lot of private schools around the country. 10-17-2022 9:14am
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    • There is a new book about this. Works great for families who can afford an extra year of a child not on school, which is not most families. 10-17-2022 9:17am
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      • No, but we could fund this. That is a choice. 10-17-2022 9:20am
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        • Agreed but we don’t or haven’t. 10-17-2022 9:22am
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          • Right and the author of this article acknowledges that making this kind of decision for a school district would have to be accompanied by increases in funding. Our private school...(more) 10-17-2022 9:28am
            has a PK - K1 - K2 model. Kids can mix/match or do all three years. My DD was old for her grade and did K1 - K2. My DS was young for his grade and did all three years.
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      • Yes, it's "the gift of time." Another interesting angle is that immigrant families (regardless of income) tend NOT to redshirt their boys as much as native-born families because...(more) 10-17-2022 9:22am
        in their home countries this would be considered shameful. The "advanced" kids are the youngest in their grades.
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    • My DS is skinny & a late bloomer as far as puberty. I kind of wish I’d red shirted him because he’d be able to play travel sports. 10-17-2022 9:30am
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      • so ridiculous 10-17-2022 9:31am
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        • He really likes baseball & would love to play more of it. 10-17-2022 9:32am
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          • holding a kid back in grade doesnt change his age. travel sports are based on age 10-17-2022 9:34am
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            • In my area it’s grade 10-17-2022 9:35am
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      • So true. That said mine were such late bloomers that probably wouldnt have made a big difference. But some kids are men by 8th grade 10-17-2022 9:34am
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    • separating the genders and treating them differently? We are so fucked up right now about gender 10-17-2022 9:31am
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      • Good point. 10-17-2022 9:32am
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  2. Toddler Have you ever heard of redshirting HS? 6-5-2022 6:31pm (15 replies)
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    • Yes DF did it for her son 6-5-2022 6:32pm
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    • Yes. For example, my rising Senior in public HS won't be 17 until the end of December. The private school kids are 6-18 months older than him it would have been difficult...(more) 6-5-2022 6:34pm
      Socially and he would have been unlikely to make varsity sports teams due to size.
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      • so you're having him do an extra year of HS so he can play varsity sports? 6-5-2022 6:37pm
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        • I said he was a rising senior in a public high school. We didn't redshirt. We would have had to (at the schools insistence) if we went private 6-5-2022 6:39pm
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    • Yes I know a kid who repeated 8th 6-5-2022 6:34pm
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    • I know someone who did it for sports not a fan 6-5-2022 6:34pm
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      • So an athlete not an athletic supporter? 6-5-2022 6:35pm
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      • Why would a fan have to red shirt? 6-5-2022 6:36pm
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        • I'm not a fan of doing this. 6-5-2022 6:38pm
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    • Don’t some schools facilitate that for athletes to give them an extra season? 6-5-2022 6:34pm
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    • I had a student who re-did 8th grade for sports. 6-5-2022 6:39pm
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    • my neighbor kid. after 8th, went to private for a year bc of sports 6-5-2022 6:39pm
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    • Yes, entering boarding school 6-5-2022 6:42pm
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    • during covid I know a family that held their kid back one year and switched high schools to help him get recruited to play baseball in college - it seems to have worked - he is...(more) 6-5-2022 6:43pm
      committed D1 and is a sophomore (though should be a junior)
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    • Yes. Super common for hs. Always has been 6-5-2022 6:45pm
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  3. Toddler This post has been disliked 3 times. showIf a September 2001 baby is currently a college sophmore and is 20 years old does this mean he was a redshirt? What are the other possiblilites 4-5-2022 9:32pm (21 replies)
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    • No 4-5-2022 9:33pm
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    • private school for elementary 4-5-2022 9:33pm
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      • which is another way of saying redshirt 4-5-2022 9:34pm
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    • Cut off could be sept 1. 4-5-2022 9:33pm
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      • OP: true. Is this a thing? 4-5-2022 9:35pm
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        • Yes. Many states/districts have 9/1 cutoff. 4-5-2022 9:37pm
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    • this is my dd and she's turning 20 in September (is now a sophmore). I think that means red shirt 4-5-2022 9:34pm
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    • My dd had to repeat a fall bday. I’m sure you judge that too. 4-5-2022 9:35pm
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      • I'm asking if he is a red shirt. I don't give a fuck about your dd 4-5-2022 9:39pm
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        • He may have repeated a grade. He may have lived somewhere with a 9/1 cutoff. He may be redshirted. What does it matter? 4-5-2022 9:40pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 4-5-2022 9:35pm
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    • Gap year? 4-5-2022 9:36pm
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    • Not red shirt for New England kids, September 1 cut off 4-5-2022 9:37pm
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    • This will be my ds. November bday and the cutoff is sept 30 here 4-5-2022 9:38pm
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    • Bigger question why do you care? 4-5-2022 9:39pm
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      • Do you really want to know?...(more) 4-5-2022 9:40pm
        why do you care, asshole?
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    • Probably not. My DD is a college freshman, is 19, not a redshirt. November birthday in a 9/1 state. 4-5-2022 9:43pm
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    • My May 2001 DS is a sophomore...he is on a 5 year plan (basally was a junior this year but reclassed as a sophmore) 4-5-2022 9:45pm
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    • well it means he started K at age 6 or turned 6 in the first month of K 4-5-2022 9:46pm
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  4. Toddler Do you know that apparently none of the NYC privates would take a boy with a summer birthday for K this year. Automatic redshirt. 2-23-2022 10:38am (38 replies)
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    • while that is typical, i would have assumed they'd be more lenient than prior years given the population shift 2-23-2022 10:40am
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      • Np: what population shift? 2-23-2022 10:41am
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        • while there wasnt any real permanent mass exodus from nyc, the most likely to leave were the near retirees (gonna go anyway for tax reasons) and the families w/ young kids who...(more) 2-23-2022 10:43am
          couldnt take the lockdown restrictions. and once you go, you never come back. the good preschools even hollowed out...so it will be a few years before that comes back.
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      • applications have increased. 2-23-2022 10:45am
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    • hasn't that always been the case? or at least generally. 2-23-2022 10:40am
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      • it has 2-23-2022 10:41am
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      • not in my experience 2-23-2022 10:42am
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        • you had a boy get in at K with a summer bday? 2-23-2022 10:43am
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          • it's very rare. my april kid is one of the youngest in his class. 2-23-2022 10:44am
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          • yes early June bday 2-23-2022 10:46am
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        • then your experience is aberrant 2-23-2022 10:44am
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          • Or non existent 2-23-2022 10:51am
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    • Same in my city privates and has been for 10 years at least. Kindergarten isn’t what it used to be. 2-23-2022 10:45am
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    • Consider yourself lucky. My August dc wound up on grade level after moving from another city and it has been one disaster after the next. We may even hold him back before high...(more) 2-23-2022 10:46am
      school.
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      • NP: We had our DS repeat 9th grade -- best decision ever. Also a non-redshirted kid. I almost think there should be an 8th grade PG option. 2-23-2022 10:47am
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        • Did he switch schools? I think we have to do this. 2-23-2022 11:05am
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    • I don't disagree with that. 2-23-2022 10:47am
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    • So all the boys in private are older than the same year boys in public? 2-23-2022 10:47am
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      • On average yes. There is a ton of quite conclusive science that shows that boys simply mature later than girls. They are more successful in HS (and therefore in college...(more) 2-23-2022 10:49am
        admissions) when they are older.
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        • My summer birthday dd was redshirted per private requirement, so it’s not just boys. 2-23-2022 10:51am
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        • I posted below...about my 5/29 ds...my other was born in Aug...we moved to the burbs with a 12/31 cut off and he started K just after turning 5...more than half the boys...(more) 2-23-2022 10:52am
          with bdays in Sept of later voluntarily redshirted their kids so my dc was pretty much one of the youngest in his grade and it definitely hurt him socially and academically...it would have been better for him if nobody redshirted but the more people do, the more those that don't suffer.
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          • Unfortunately kindergarten is more like 1st used to be 25 years ago, so it would have been a bunch of boys struggling and disrupting the class. It isn’t good for those few boys in...(more) 2-23-2022 10:55am
            Each class even if there is no redshirting.
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            • neither of my kids were disruptive in K...in fact IME the redshirted kids, whose parents didn't send them at 5 because they were hyper, were STILL hyper and disruptive a year...(more) 2-23-2022 11:04am
              later...in fact my kids didn't struggle as much in the early elementary years...when I began noticing a difference was in 5th grade...and as kids went through puberty and matured more socially, THAT is when my kids seemed to fall behind...I remember being in a meeting when my august DC was in 8th grade where the guidance counselor was telling me about the disparity at that age in maturity where some 8th graders could pass for 6th graders and others for 10th graders...my DS was in the 6th grade category...meanwhile my dd in 8th grade (who is a Jan bday) could pass for a 10th grader at that age
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              • Your kids were just a few months younger than many in their class. 2-23-2022 11:12am
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              • Well mine were in private where they didn’t admit hyper disruptive kids. It is disruptive if a few kids aren’t ready academically is what I meant. 2-23-2022 11:16am
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      • Not all boys have summer birthdays. 1/4 of boys are redshirted in private and how many in publics are held back or redshirted? The higher SES, the more public school boys are too....(more) 2-23-2022 10:50am
        So not an enormous difference.
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    • it's always been that way. this is not new news 2-23-2022 10:47am
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    • that's not new...my dc was born 5/29 and we couldn't get him into K for private...he's in college now 2-23-2022 10:49am
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    • Yup a summer bday will essentially cost you an extra 55k 2-23-2022 10:55am
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      • And you don’t end up sending your 17 yo said to college. Which is good. 2-23-2022 10:56am
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        • I went to college at 17, it was great! But I'm not a boy np 2-23-2022 10:59am
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          • I went at 17 also and it wasn’t great. Lol. 2-23-2022 11:12am
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        • If you have the money, sure. 2-23-2022 10:59am
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          • If you are spending $55k for K, one more year shouldn’t make a difference 2-23-2022 11:16am
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      • Not necessarily. My dc did public school through 9th grade. Then did private 9-12. 2-23-2022 10:59am
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    • we got around that and both my boys have always been the youngest in their classes, and yet somehow they have done just fine. 2-23-2022 11:11am
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    • UNIS has a real September cutoff 2-23-2022 11:28am
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      • So do most of the Brooklyn schools. 2-23-2022 11:33am
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  5. Toddler Better to redshirt 5 year old son in K or be the youngest in 1st grade?...(more) 2-16-2022 12:59pm (56 replies)
    He is academically strong so no doubt he’d do well with the older kids like he always has but are there long-term benefits to red-shirt?
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    • red shirt 2-16-2022 12:59pm
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    • gift of a year... 2-16-2022 1:00pm
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    • Go according to cut off. 2-16-2022 1:00pm
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      • not even the schools do this 2-16-2022 1:05pm
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        • They do where I am from. It's very hard to get an exception 2-16-2022 1:11pm
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        • What do you mean? If the cutoff says you go, then go. 2-16-2022 1:13pm
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    • neurologically better to be young 2-16-2022 1:00pm
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    • I was redshirted in a foreign country by my grandma, who had been a first-grade teacher. It definitely worked out for me. I don't really get the redshirt-hate on here. 2-16-2022 1:00pm
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      • because someone has to be the youngest. it's annoying that no one thinks it should be their kid 2-16-2022 1:05pm
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        • I imagine some people think their kid can handle it, and others don't. 2-16-2022 1:07pm
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    • we didn't redshirt ours in that situation because he would have been bored to tears with another year in pre-k. currently a freshman in college in the honors program, no regrets 2-16-2022 1:00pm
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    • how young are we talking about? 2-16-2022 1:01pm
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      • Early Fall birthday 2-16-2022 1:01pm
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        • what is the cut off? 2-16-2022 1:05pm
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          • He is younger than the cut off by only 2 weeks 2-16-2022 1:05pm
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    • Better for your ego to redshirt, better for kids neurological development not to redshirt 2-16-2022 1:01pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:03pm
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    • my DD was immature and youngest in class we did not red shirt but found a way to hold her back later - made a HUGE difference she is doing great now. she also has ADD so this is...(more) 2-16-2022 1:03pm
      prob why she was immature for her age - it was social - academically she is fine and top of class now in 8th grade
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    • depends on your kid. if he's already doing well academically, the extra year of preK might be so boring. how much do you care about height/sports? 2-16-2022 1:05pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:06pm
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      • He’s in K right now doing 1st grade curriculum so he would be repeating K 2-16-2022 1:07pm
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        • Let him stay with his friends 2-16-2022 1:07pm
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          • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:09pm
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            • Switching schools with different cut off dates 2-16-2022 1:11pm
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              • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:12pm
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              • see if they'll do a kindergarten assessment at the new school. but imagine that he'll be starting over and not learning anything new 2-16-2022 1:12pm
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              • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:13pm
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              • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:15pm
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                • He would probably be the youngest in 1st with some kids a full year older than him. Physically he’s the size of an 8 year old in K right now 2-16-2022 1:16pm
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                  • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:18pm
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        • imagine doing the first few weeks of K again if you're already at a 1st grade level. torture 2-16-2022 1:07pm
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        • do not do that. 2-16-2022 1:08pm
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        • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:08pm
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        • Why would you do this? 2-16-2022 1:12pm
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    • My DS was on the border for his school's cut-off date, and I decided to wait a year. He was academically ahead of the curve, but struggled with social and emotional stuff. It was...(more) 2-16-2022 1:06pm
      good I did it---he needed those early elementary school years to focus on his social skills vs the rest. He's 14 now and thriving.
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      • ^^^adding that this was a kid who was reading and telling time before he was four---it was really tempting to send him ahead, but the socio-emotional part of growing up is...(more) 2-16-2022 1:08pm
        important too. Some kids have it all by 4/5, but mine did not.
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    • 100 percent depends on the kid. I graduated high school at 16. It was not really ideal, to be honest. I was pretty immature compared with my classmates. 2-16-2022 1:07pm
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      • I posted above--I was redshirted and started college at 19. My dh skipped grades and started at 17. Same class. He had a much harder time than I did. 2-16-2022 1:08pm
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        • Yeah, it's not ideal for everyone. I'm sure it was hard to tell when I was younger and back then they were just looking at skills and grades, etc. But I had to bum rides for...(more) 2-16-2022 1:11pm
          almost all of high school; I was awkwardly always trying to fit in. My friends in some cases were a full year or two older than I was, which is no biggie when you are 8 but I really is at 16. Didn't help that I didn't hit puberty until about 15. So no periods, NO boobs, hips or butt to speak of.
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          • My Dh really needed a job in college, but no one would hire him bc he wasn't over 18 2-16-2022 1:14pm
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    • really depends on the dc. i had one dc who was young and school suggested we redshirt. we didn't and it took him a long time to catch up. but he was immature for his age anyway....(more) 2-16-2022 1:07pm
      if we were savvier parents, we would've held him back.
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    • I would’ve said definitely not for a smart kid but now I think it would be fine but he will get bored which is not ideal. It depends on where you are, public/private, if height is...(more) 2-16-2022 1:10pm
      an issue…a combo of things
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      • Right now he is one of the youngest by birthday in his K class but physically the biggest by far .. which complicates things further 2-16-2022 1:12pm
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        • Then I would let him continue. He will do fine. 2-16-2022 1:15pm
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        • My ds is the youngest and smallest in his class. We didn't hold him back and there have been no issues at all. 2-16-2022 1:18pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:12pm
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      • I have a boy in college who was the youngest. I say stick with your assigned grade. Don’t hold back a smart kid. 2-16-2022 1:14pm
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      • I have kids in elem, middle, high. I’ve seen late bday kids in accelerated programs doing well but socially young 2-16-2022 1:14pm
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        • ^^I wouldn’t hold back a smart kid especially if he’s tall for his age. 2-16-2022 1:16pm
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    • We couldnt and ended ip having to hold him back in 3rd grade when switching to orivate 2-16-2022 1:16pm
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    • Wait until he's 6 to start K. We did. Best decision ever. I probably talked to 50 people and did not meet one person who wished they hadn't, but talked to many who wish they...(more) 2-16-2022 1:17pm
      had. Talk to teachers too. I will give you $100 if you find one who says not to wait.
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      • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2022 1:19pm
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      • This! 2-16-2022 1:19pm
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    • I started my youngest dc at the cut off time and he ended up repeating 3rd grade. 2-16-2022 1:19pm
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  6. Toddler Speaking of redshirting, I got a lot of shit here for having my HS freshman repeat 9th grade (actually only repeated half the classes). Is absolutely thriving this year....(more) 2-2-2022 7:27am (45 replies)
    Everyone needs to just do what is best for their own kids and not assume that the world is zero sum.
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    • You are basic. 2-2-2022 7:28am
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      • Fine with that 2-2-2022 7:28am
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    • People question their own choices when they see someone doing something different and it's just easier to attack 2-2-2022 7:29am
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    • I should have redshirted my now 16yo. He as barely 5 when started k and incredibly immature. Just not ready. In pre-K he was evaluated because he was not acting like his peers....(more) 2-2-2022 7:31am
      Was way off.
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      • It's hard when kids are academically ready. DS was in a Montessori preschool and was reading and doing math by 3-4yo. Seemed silly to hold him back, but yeah, turns out child...(more) 2-2-2022 7:32am
        development is not linear...
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        • Yep. Mine wasn’t academically ready either. I wish I had done like you and had him repeat the 10th grade. He’s doing better this year but he is so not ready to be a senior. I will...(more) 2-2-2022 7:36am
          Most certainly encourage a gap year though.
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    • My DS totally needs to repeat ninth grade. Such a waste with hybrid learning he was so checked out. 2-2-2022 7:31am
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      • OP: This was exactly the case with us. He got Bs and one C, but grades were massively inflated so it was more like Cs and Ds. He did not learn a thing, barely was able to make...(more) 2-2-2022 7:34am
        friends, etc. Academically capable but had something like 32 missing assignments in one class. Like you said, totally checked out.
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    • I never got the outrage over red shirting. So ridiculous. 2-2-2022 7:33am
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      • I think it's 2 things -- people fearing some other kid will have an "advantage" and 2) some weird sex thing like being a year older turns a boy into some sort of predator 2-2-2022 7:35am
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        • yeah, the advantage point is really where it's at. How dare another child might come in better prepared failing to notice that it puts children on par. 2-2-2022 7:45am
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      • It's actually kind of odd that, knowing what we do about child development, we impose these rigid age rules. 2-2-2022 7:41am
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        • We have schools built to churn out worker bees in the the most cost-efficient way possible. Factory model. 2-2-2022 7:44am
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    • Redshirting is often not the best in private pre-schools, where the kids are often held back for dubious reasons. It sounds like OP's decision was based on facts. 2-2-2022 7:35am
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      • The problem is that socially, it becomes difficult to hold back at any point other than K, or if you change schools. Covid might have provided an opening, but in normal times,...(more) 2-2-2022 7:36am
        something like this might come with a lot of stigma.
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      • Boys underperform girls from elementary all the way through HS. I wonder redshirting should be the rule rather than the exception. 2-2-2022 7:38am
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        • Crazy 2-2-2022 7:49am
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          • It's more crazy that we insist on pushing kids forward when it's clear that they could benefit from taking a beat 2-2-2022 7:50am
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            • no, you are advocating to hold back based on sex alone. That is CRAZY. I have no issue with not promoting a child who isn't cutting it in school. 2-2-2022 7:53am
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              • np- I don't see "redshirting boys only' in her reply. Nonetheless it is the case, this has been well observed, that generally speaking boys are not as mature as girls and...(more) 2-2-2022 7:57am
                emotionally develop later.
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        • No, this is due to changes in public schooling so that self control, organizational skills, repetitive tasks, and compliance are prioritized 2-2-2022 7:50am
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          • I actually think it's both colliding 2-2-2022 7:51am
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    • my 16yo would be thriving in 8th grade. hmmm 2-2-2022 7:43am
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      • Was he thriving at 14? 2-2-2022 7:43am
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      • OK, well my DS was 14 all through 9th grade and did not thrive. Seemed stupid to keep pushing him forward. 2-2-2022 7:46am
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    • so do colleges never see the first 9th grade? Clever 2-2-2022 7:46am
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      • Happens all the time -- kids switch from public to private and re-class. Whatever. If the kid winds up doing better in HS overall, no reason why a college would care what they...(more) 2-2-2022 7:48am
        did when he was 13/14.
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      • OP: I actually have no idea whether our school will include his first 9th grade or not. I don't really care either way, I doubt colleges will. 2-2-2022 7:48am
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        • the colleges would care because the first 9th grade grades were poor 2-2-2022 7:51am
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          • NP: If the kid has 4 solid years of good grades, the are not going to care one bit. I know you wish they would, but they won't -- they know kids do this all the time, especially...(more) 2-2-2022 7:52am
            in the elite prep schools top colleges love so much.
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            • Why do I wish they would care? What a strange assumption. If both 9th grades counted the cum GPA would be lower, right? I'm not arguing against holding back students who are...(more) 2-2-2022 7:55am
              struggling by the way. I'm against social promotion.
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              • What if the kid switched schools to repeat? Then def would not be included. 2-2-2022 7:55am
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                • That's right 2-2-2022 7:57am
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                  • So why should it matter if he stayed at the same school, esp if he took some different classes? 2-2-2022 7:59am
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          • Colleges love seeing improvement. Many of them barely care about 9th grade anyway. A lot of top boarding schools do part of 9th grade pass/fail. 2-2-2022 7:54am
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            • They do like seeing improvement over not seeing improvement, but in this case they would see that it was due to repeating a year (not as impressive as improving in 10th) and the...(more) 2-2-2022 7:57am
              overall GPA (if both 9th grades count) is lower- we all know that overall GPA matters the most in admissions. Again, I'm not against holding kids back. I'm just wondering about this particular issue. I'm glad OP's kid is doing well.
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              • My point is, I think they want the kids they want. If a kid puts in four solid years of HS, I don't think colleges will find it any less "impressive" esp given the covid...(more) 2-2-2022 7:59am
                situation and the fact that this goes on all the time even in normal times.
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          • Some might care, many will not. And give that it was the year the kid was fully remote, they likely won't care at all. 2-2-2022 7:55am
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    • How did dc feel about it? Mine would never go to school again 2-2-2022 7:48am
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      • OP: Not thrilled about it at first, but it worked out fine and he's really glad he did it now. He's glad to have 4 years of sports, activities. Socially, it would up being a...(more) 2-2-2022 7:50am
        total non-issue, now has friends in both classes.
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    • Go redshirt in 9th grade mom! 2-2-2022 7:49am
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    • Here in the Boston area, almost every athlete boy in private school is redshirted. We call is reclassed here. My son is at a sporty all boys prep school and over half the boys...(more) 2-2-2022 7:57am
      repeated. Many of his friends are already 16 and he's a freshman.
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      • If the kids are doing better than they otherwise would have, I don't see a problem with this at all. Why wouldn't we want kids to thrive? 2-2-2022 8:00am
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  7. Toddler Is redshirting DC during 8th grade worth it? 11-28-2021 10:53pm (6 replies)
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    • Why 11-28-2021 10:54pm
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      • Why redshirt? 11-28-2021 10:55pm
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        • Yes so old now 11-28-2021 10:56pm
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    • sure, if it's necessary academically 11-28-2021 10:54pm
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    • Worth WHAT? 11-28-2021 10:54pm
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    • worth what? 11-28-2021 10:54pm
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  8. Toddler We did not redshirt ds with ADHD. He is 14 and a sophomore. He is doing ok academically, mid 80s low 90s. Socially he has a handful of kids he talk to and eats lunch with but...(more) 10-25-2021 12:40pm (36 replies)
    nothing beyond that. Would you consider putting him in private for a year? We are in the state now where most kids are 16 turning 17 sophomore year. He is actually younger than almost all freshmen.
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    • No 10-25-2021 12:41pm
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    • for what reason? Better academic success or to help him socially? His he happy where he is? 10-25-2021 12:42pm
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      • Better academics, better awareness. He is very immature. If he has to do something but he does not know how, he wont ask for help, he just wont do it. For example, if he needs to...(more) 10-25-2021 12:43pm
        fill out a form for something, he wont do it. Too many steps. He does minimum work at school, he is in all on level classes.
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        • this is my 14yo freshman with adhd. i am not sure that prolonging hs another year will help 10-25-2021 12:44pm
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          • *like really and truly the level of maturity you are describing could likely take until he is 17 or 18. id get him through hs and think about a gap year maybe if he needs it 10-25-2021 12:45pm
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          • But mine is a sophmore. He has to work with his counselor at school on college selections, they have to pick a broad range of school this year, and he is arguing about doing it. I...(more) 10-25-2021 12:46pm
            just worry that he is not ready for everything that is being expected of him. Being younger socially is hard too.
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            • well sophomores picking a big list of schools is bananas so thats not his fault. this said, i would have him stay the course. i have this child and i doubt he will be any more...(more) 10-25-2021 12:47pm
              ready a year from now than today.
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              • My DC is a sophomore and they aren't meeting with the college counselor. That is crazy early to be doing that. 10-25-2021 12:50pm
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                • I know but his school requires it. 10-25-2021 12:51pm
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                • It is 10-25-2021 12:53pm
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    • We held ds back in 3rd grade and so glad we did. I would say its a bit late now. And you dont want to do one yr pricate and then back to public 10-25-2021 12:42pm
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      • So this is exactly what my neighbor did, they did a junior year twice. 10-25-2021 12:44pm
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        • But we did it in 3rd grade. Very different. And switched schools so whole new group of kids. Not having to see his friends everyday at an older grade 10-25-2021 12:46pm
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          • We tried at 7th grade when we moved, tried to start MS at 6th but the school did not let us. We were new tot he state and did not realize how old all the kids were 10-25-2021 12:48pm
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    • Putting him in private for a year and moving him again? No, but I would consider a 13th year at a private school before college. Why didn't you redshirt him? A 14 you...(more) 10-25-2021 12:42pm
      sophomore is too young!
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      • this -- i am ADHD and did a 13th year (I started K at 4, so i was really young) and it really made the difference 10-25-2021 12:56pm
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    • Yes I would totally do this. My ds with adhd mature a lot from 14 to 15 and then from 15 to 16. You'll be flamed here though. 10-25-2021 12:42pm
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    • He’s very young. What does he want to do? 10-25-2021 12:43pm
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      • He wants to do a gap year but dh and I feel strongly that it won't be a good idea. He does not do well without structure. He is ADHD ODD so it is a really tough balancing act. 10-25-2021 12:47pm
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        • is he wanting to do college or a trade? Because I wouldn't waste money for college for someone who doesn't want to go 10-25-2021 12:49pm
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          • College for sure. No trade. Definitely wants to go 10-25-2021 12:51pm
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            • Look for a school that offers a postgrad year. 10-25-2021 1:11pm
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    • no 10-25-2021 12:45pm
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    • No? I see no reason to. A kid with adhd doing ok in 8th-9th grade, you already hit the jackpot 10-25-2021 12:45pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 10-25-2021 12:46pm
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      • No idea. Most already had their 16th birthdays and driving. 10-25-2021 12:47pm
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        • This post has been deleted. 10-25-2021 12:51pm
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    • when does he turn 15? 10-25-2021 12:48pm
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    • No, I would not. He's doing fine. What more do you want? 10-25-2021 12:49pm
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      • He is doing ok. What I want is have him enter college as a more independent and confident person. He also swims so he is missing a year of swim. 10-25-2021 12:50pm
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        • or: So he does a sport, is doing well in school and has lunch every day with other kids? 10-25-2021 12:52pm
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          • as a parent of a freshman with adhd who is truly struggling? this is almost offensive. the kid has friends, a sport and a mix of A's and B's? like what on earth more does this...(more) 10-25-2021 12:55pm
            woman expect?
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    • They graduate at 19? 10-25-2021 12:53pm
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    • Why is your kid a sophomore? My dd turns 15 in March and is a freshman. 10-25-2021 12:53pm
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    • Why not let him trx to private and graduate from there 10-25-2021 12:54pm
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  9. Toddler I'm really surprised by the redshirting post. I had no idea this brought out so many strong feelings. I was redshirted by my grandma (who taught first grade) in europe. It was...(more) 10-5-2021 1:22pm (15 replies)
    allowed and not uncommon there. The point wasn't to make sure I was ahead, but as she put it, when kids are close to the cutoff, it could go either way. She didn't suggest redshirting my cousin, even though we have similar birthdays
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    • ^and I find redshirting for sports to be pretty nuts--is this real? 10-5-2021 1:23pm
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      • it is definitely real. have you never been to a childrens sporting event and found the obsessed freaks? especially for boys this can be very beneficial 10-5-2021 1:27pm
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        • wow. how many of those kids actually become that good, though? 10-5-2021 1:27pm
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          • not many but it gives a bit of an edge. they also drive first which makes them "cooler" 10-5-2021 1:29pm
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            • That was me, lol. I was def not cooler. 10-5-2021 1:29pm
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              • it's mostly for boys. 10-5-2021 1:30pm
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                • I know. It's differentfor boys, but I assume it's also different in NYC vs burbs, etc. I doubt anyone here knows who can drive, or cares. 10-5-2021 1:32pm
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    • So you were redshirted in a different place and time and now is different. 10-5-2021 1:23pm
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      • why? 10-5-2021 1:23pm
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        • you stated the difference in your op. 10-5-2021 1:23pm
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          • Why is now different, in your view? np 10-5-2021 1:24pm
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        • Because now, someone may be ahead of HER kid. That's why it's different. 10-5-2021 1:26pm
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      • What's different about it? I went to school in the US, to college in the US. I thought it worked out well for me. If a kid is not mature, what's the big deal? 10-5-2021 1:24pm
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        • ^I graduated college at 24 but there was a guy in my class who was 41. It was nbd 10-5-2021 1:25pm
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      • This post has been deleted. 10-5-2021 1:25pm
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  10. Toddler Kindergarteners should not be 5 feet tall. This redshirting is getting out of hand 9-10-2021 8:16pm (11 replies)
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    • Insane. 9-10-2021 8:17pm
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    • Maybe they are destined to be quite tall 9-10-2021 8:17pm
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    • How old is the kid? 9-10-2021 8:18pm
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      • 11 9-10-2021 8:18pm
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    • Black? 9-10-2021 8:18pm
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      • What? 9-10-2021 8:18pm
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      • The fuck is wrong with some of y’all? 9-10-2021 8:23pm
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    • oh ffs 9-10-2021 8:20pm
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    • lol where do you even come up with this shit? 9-10-2021 8:21pm
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    • you shouldn't be "prepared" for kindergarten. K is what prepares you for elementary. 9-10-2021 8:29pm
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    • Growth hormone club 9-10-2021 8:30pm
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  11. Toddler Would you redshirt an August boy for a September cutoff? 9-9-2021 11:58am (45 replies)
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    • mine, no. he needed the time 9-9-2021 11:59am
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      • That sounds like yes 9-9-2021 12:00pm
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    • i did. he's in 6th grade now and all is going well. 9-9-2021 11:59am
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    • i wouldn't redshirt, period. 9-9-2021 11:59am
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    • No. I would however redshirt a Dec boy for a Dec 31 cutoff, which is how it was when my kids started school 9-9-2021 11:59am
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      • How’s that different? 9-9-2021 11:59am
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        • Different by 4+months-- I didn't have to make this decision bc my DS was born in January, but I'd often thought if he'd been born a week earlier I'd have strongly considered it....(more) 9-9-2021 12:00pm
          He would have been 4 for almost half of kindergarten
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          • so how is this any different from what op is asking?? 9-9-2021 12:01pm
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            • With an august bday and September cutoff, the child will start K at 5 9-9-2021 12:02pm
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              • ^I think that's a really normal and developmentally appropriate age, but of course every family has to decide for their child 9-9-2021 12:03pm
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              • Np it’s the same thing as what op is saying 9-9-2021 12:03pm
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                • no, a September cutoff and a Dec 31 cutoff are not the same 9-9-2021 12:05pm
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                • np, I think what's different is that this poster is saying you really need to be 5 to handle K level work. so there's two different issues: one is how the kid compares to...(more) 9-9-2021 12:05pm
                  his peers, the other is whether they are old enough to handle K academic material (with the assumption that K academic material is the same regardless of what cutoff a school uses)
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                  • yes exactly. It's not all about (or even mostly about) where peers are. It's about what is appropriate for the child. There are actually plenty of studies that show that a younger...(more) 9-9-2021 12:07pm
                    child in class with older peers does well, at least academically, bc they rise to meet the challenge. But there's a limit to how young is really appropriate.
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                • it's actually not, i get what she is saying now. for example, in nyc you have to be five by dec 31, so your dc's birthday could be say, dec 27th and they can start K in the...(more) 9-9-2021 12:06pm
                  previous sept, at 4. so for sept, oct, nov and most of dec, they are four, not five
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    • i'd never redshirt a kid on the assumption that they won't be able to handle it. i'd send them to school and reevaluate if there were concerns later 9-9-2021 12:00pm
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      • NP: I just posted below, BTDT. It’s not that easy later, you have fewer options and holding back a year/switching schools has bigger social implications. 9-9-2021 12:00pm
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      • Np schools don’t always allow you to hold back once they’re in the system 9-9-2021 12:00pm
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      • He’s in a montessori and would stay an extra year. 9-9-2021 12:01pm
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        • Do it. There is no scenario where you will regret this. 9-9-2021 12:01pm
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          • I know zero people who regret holding their kid back and many (including me) who wish we had. 9-9-2021 12:06pm
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    • Yes. Even if he doesn’t seem to need it now, he might be happy to have done it later on — and it’s harder to re-class later 9-9-2021 12:00pm
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    • Yes 9-9-2021 12:00pm
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    • I didn't. he was reading and doing math at 3, he would have been bored to tears (august 30 birthday). Having said that, it depends on the kid and what you think. 9-9-2021 12:00pm
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      • Right. This is why we didn’t either — everyone told us he’d be bored. Fast forward to freshman year in HS and he was a hot mess. Academically capable, way behind his peers...(more) 9-9-2021 12:01pm
        (many of whom were red-shirted) in terms of executive function/maturity.
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        • Right I think it’s less about academics and more about their social maturity and physical size. 9-9-2021 12:02pm
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          • If it were easy to adjust later, I’d say play it by ear, but it’s very hard unless you switch from public to private or make a good case that he should be re-classed. 9-9-2021 12:03pm
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          • physical size is more about sports, I know plenty of people who redshirted for that reason. as for social maturity, they all catch up. 9-9-2021 12:04pm
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            • No, not always. Sometimes, they consistently lag behind their older, more mature peers. When you get to late MS and HS, they often feel like they are just barely keeping up and...(more) 9-9-2021 12:05pm
              then the bar gets raised again.
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            • Why do you say they all catch up? I don’t see this to be true — and once their confidence takes a hit, it can create a vicious cycle. 9-9-2021 12:06pm
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    • He’s already the youngest? 9-9-2021 12:00pm
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    • I kept my child home for an extra year with an August birthday. It's not for sports, so not a 'redshirt' 9-9-2021 12:00pm
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      • It’s not a sport related term for kindergarten entry. For college, yes it is sports 9-9-2021 12:01pm
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      • that term applies these days to any situation, not just sports. 9-9-2021 12:01pm
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      • It’s just a phrase. 9-9-2021 12:01pm
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    • Everyone where I live does this so I would because otherwise he puked be 2 years younger than some other kids 9-9-2021 12:02pm
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    • Yes 9-9-2021 12:02pm
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    • Best decision we ever made for him 9-9-2021 12:02pm
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    • We are not (for our August bday kid entering K). Academically I'm confident he'll be fine, but I do worry socially 9-9-2021 12:03pm
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    • I didn’t redshirt my kid and I’m glad I didn’t. He’s tall, smart, mature, and went through puberty early. Would have been rough. Only the tall was apparent at decision making...(more) 9-9-2021 12:03pm
      time.
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    • if i thought he needed it. dc's school offered it to us and we declined. in retrospect, he probably would've benefitted 9-9-2021 12:05pm
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    • As someone who went to kindergarten at 4, I would never want my dc to be the youngest. I hated it. 9-9-2021 12:08pm
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      • it really depends on the kid. I also went to K at 4, was happy with it, and was taking classes w HS kids when I was in middle school (the schools were on the same campus) 9-9-2021 12:13pm
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        • Sounds like you had parents who advocated and supported you. I did not 9-9-2021 12:23pm
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    • Maybe. Mine was early September and he still struggled socially in the early years. He would have been fine academically, but it ended being good that he had that time to work on...(more) 9-9-2021 12:11pm
      his social skills.
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  12. Toddler School question. If you redshirt a kid for K at private, then switch to public for middle school can/do they force you change grades based on age? 8-11-2021 10:41am (2 replies)
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    • no, usually they'll do based on academic work completed 8-11-2021 10:42am
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  13. Toddler Is redshirting for sports a huge deal? DS is going in to HS and one kid he knows is repeating 8th grade to be better for HS football! He has other friends who are already 15 and...(more) 8-2-2021 11:29am (5 replies)
    Not in HS. We moved from NYC public last year and DS is a September birthday so some kids are almost 18 months older than him! It all seems weird to me as DS plays a sport which goes on birth year and where playing in HS isn’t getting you in to college anyway
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    • 15 and not in HS?! So they graduate at 19/20? 8-2-2021 11:30am
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    • None of anything is really a big deal with the exception of climate change. Everything else, not a big deal. 8-2-2021 11:30am
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      • Weirdo 8-2-2021 11:31am
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      • STOP EATING MEAT PLANET KILLER! 8-2-2021 11:34am
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    • I think that redshirting for that purpose should result in some sort of negative mathematic effect on GPAs. The academic advantage is unfair. 8-2-2021 11:34am
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  14. Toddler If redshirting is so advantageous, why dont more parents do this? 8-1-2021 11:50am (34 replies)
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    • Because then there would be double redshirters. 8-1-2021 11:50am
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    • privates schools ALL do it to a degree. "summer boys" etc 8-1-2021 11:50am
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      • true. my June boy was applying out of public grade school into private high school and he was just 13 yo writing essays, etc. Private boys where a full year older 8-1-2021 11:53am
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    • in NYC, you can't in publics and everyone does in private. it's an issue IMO. 8-1-2021 11:51am
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      • this. i wanted to hold ds back for academic reasons and couldn't 8-1-2021 11:52am
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      • this. NYC public kids go to kinder at 4 sometimes. Private kids can be 6. but sure, "no advantage" 8-1-2021 11:54am
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        • NP It's a HUGE advantage if the entire cohort is a bit older, like in privates. 8-1-2021 11:55am
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        • the problem is that NYC kids are compared to benchmarks same as private kids. who are as much as 18 months older 8-1-2021 11:56am
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    • with girls, sometimes they are just so over the top ready to start school you just can't 8-1-2021 11:51am
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    • we did it for non sports reasons and my ds is totally average. it would have been really bad had we not held him back. 8-1-2021 11:51am
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    • Just as many kids are too old and get bored. 8-1-2021 11:51am
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    • I am not sure it is. 8-1-2021 11:52am
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      • NP so many studies on this 8-1-2021 11:53am
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        • there are studies to refute it. and some of the studies had a confounding variable, (like who has fall babies) 8-1-2021 11:55am
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          • how is that confounding? that's our entire system in nyc. 1/3 of the kids are fall or even winter babies. 8-1-2021 11:55am
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            • Where is the NYC public data actually. 8-1-2021 11:57am
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              • Cut off is 12/31. No getting around it. Kids born sept, oct, nov, dec .. that’s 1/3 of the kids (NP) 8-1-2021 12:01pm
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    • There are studies saying the young ones have better outcomes- Harvard is one, Western Canada is another. 8-1-2021 11:52am
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      • That’s skewed though. It includes the academically gifted kids who skipped grades. 8-1-2021 12:39pm
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        • Very small pct of the total 8-1-2021 1:06pm
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    • I didn't do it because my boy was very academically advanced. I don't let him skip a grade because he has a summer birthday. 8-1-2021 11:52am
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    • Everyone will know the kid is dumb. 8-1-2021 11:53am
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    • Its not advantageous to all. It really depends on the kid 8-1-2021 11:53am
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    • Who say's it's advantageous? 8-1-2021 11:57am
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    • It's not advantageous at all. To essentially tell your kid that mom and dad don't think you can keep up with kids your same age. And where do you go if even among the younger...(more) 8-1-2021 11:59am
      kids your DC is still not doing better? Do you keep going down?
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      • This is not what it is telling your kid. If your kid is redshirted there is usually a reason 8-1-2021 12:11pm
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        • Recently at our preschool, everyone got into K, a girl is being held back to repeat preschool. The girl is not behind but didn't get into the TT private the parents wanted....(more) 8-1-2021 12:17pm
          There's nothing wrong with the girl that warrants being held back.
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          • Well thats their choice and you really dont know the issues if there are any 8-1-2021 12:18pm
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            • I was a volunteer helper in that classroom 2x a week for 2 years. There is nothing wrong with that kid that requires being help back.It's selfish of the parents to subject kids to...(more) 8-1-2021 12:21pm
              that at such a young age when the kid doesn't yet have a say in the decision.
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              • Well if that is the real reason maybe. But if the kid is on the young side there may be a good reason 8-1-2021 12:22pm
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              • I think the teachers must have a say at some point 8-1-2021 12:27pm
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          • This is not that uncommon. The schools may have told her to wait and apply next year 8-1-2021 12:32pm
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    • Every single parent I know who has redshirted has been very happy they did. Every single parent I know who considered it and did not, always blames their kid issues on being...(more) 8-1-2021 12:33pm
      “young”
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  15. Toddler Did you redshirt your child? 5-21-2021 7:59pm (22 replies)
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    • No way. 5-21-2021 8:00pm
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    • Yes 5-21-2021 8:00pm
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      • Lol 5-21-2021 8:01pm
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        • She was 6 days from the cut off. She would have likely been left back in k or 1st if we didn't 5-21-2021 8:04pm
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    • No 5-21-2021 8:00pm
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    • no. she is almost hte oldest in her class d/t birthdate 5-21-2021 8:02pm
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    • My kids didn’t fall into that date range but I would have if they did. 5-21-2021 8:02pm
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    • Sigh, one of my biggest regrets. Wish I did. 5-21-2021 8:03pm
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      • Ditto. I really should have. 5-21-2021 8:05pm
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      • I wish I had too 5-21-2021 8:10pm
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    • yes 5-21-2021 8:06pm
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    • Sort of? She's an August b-day. Not oldest in her class but close 5-21-2021 8:07pm
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      • Did you go by the cutoff date or not? It’s not an opinion 5-21-2021 8:08pm
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        • Where I live there's only a minimum age for starting K. You can choose to start later 5-21-2021 8:11pm
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    • yes and it was the best decision I ever made 5-21-2021 8:07pm
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    • Private school redshirted my August b’day ds in Kindergarten. (Cutoff was/is Sept. 15). Best decision ever. 5-21-2021 8:12pm
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    • I did not . He is a late April Birthday and went to private in NYC, he was the youngest in the class. He did fine but it was noticeable that he was younger/immature compared to...(more) 5-21-2021 8:19pm
      kids who were a year or more older than him
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      • What grade now/how old? 5-21-2021 8:21pm
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    • Yes. End of October in nyc public. 5-21-2021 8:21pm
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    • No, she was ready to go. 5-21-2021 8:27pm
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    • No. Sometimes I wish I had, and then I realize that a year older would not older would not change laziness. 5-21-2021 8:47pm
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  16. Toddler This post has been disliked 3 times. showThe redshirting thread was interesting because it was all about HS/MS kids still seeing a difference. I remember always hearing "it all evens out by 3rd grade". seems that isn't...(more) 5-3-2021 8:22pm (23 replies)
    the case!
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    • Malcolm Gladwell wrote about this using youth hockey 5-3-2021 8:23pm
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    • It just seemed like a bunch of ladies who expected their kids to be better athletes or better academically trying to explain why that isn’t the case. 5-3-2021 8:23pm
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      • So Malcolm Gladwell lied? 5-3-2021 8:23pm
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        • I think she meant they were explaining why the YOUNG ones were not better 5-3-2021 8:24pm
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          • They are doing for when they are OLDER 5-3-2021 8:25pm
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        • A lot of his work has been discredited actuallyZ 5-3-2021 8:27pm
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    • I work in a school, although not an educator. I don’t see huge differences, very little at all actually 5-3-2021 8:23pm
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      • yes but the less advanced kids are usually the ones who are redshirted 5-3-2021 8:25pm
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    • I can always tell the redshirted kids. It's hard to miss them, they're usually way taller. 5-3-2021 8:23pm
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      • Lol. Except the short ones that ypu have no idea about 5-3-2021 8:25pm
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      • this is SO false. 5-3-2021 8:31pm
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      • Nope 5-3-2021 8:32pm
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    • by 8th 5-3-2021 8:24pm
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      • I would have thought too, but the OP in that thread was a mom of HSers 5-3-2021 8:25pm
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        • You know some kids are so far behind emotionally/maturity wise there will always be outliers. That was ONE mom. 5-3-2021 8:35pm
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    • I held my ds back but he was weeks before cut off (9/1 here) I'm so glad I did and ps: he's not taking anyone's spot on a sports team 5-3-2021 8:25pm
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      • LOL 5-3-2021 8:26pm
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      • For real. Who are these moms who ever care. None of our kids have a career in sports ahead. It is just about enjoying your life and not making something a struggle that doesn’t...(more) 5-3-2021 8:40pm
        have to be.
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    • What was she saying? 5-3-2021 8:25pm
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    • I missed that thread. Have Junior. Thanksgiving baby. He has always be behind. Socially, emotionally, academically. NYC schools. Asked many times if should leave back. No. 5-3-2021 8:27pm
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      • 12/31 cut off 5-3-2021 8:28pm
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        • so wild to me, we are 9/1 and town next to me is 10/1. it's so crazy! 5-3-2021 8:29pm
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      • In the rest of the country where the 9/1 cut off prevails, he would be one of the oldest. NYC is really an outlier here. 5-3-2021 8:32pm
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  17. Toddler This redshirt thing is so weird. My DD birthday right before cutoff. When I'd tell people my due date they'd ask Oh are you holding her back? Or oh of course you'll redshirt...(more) 5-3-2021 12:57pm (17 replies)
    right? Some got mad when I said I would decide before KG.
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    • People like it when other people do what they did thereby affirming their own choices. Natural human tedency. 5-3-2021 12:58pm
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      • *Tendency 5-3-2021 12:58pm
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      • this is so true. And constantly annoys the shit out of me. 5-3-2021 1:06pm
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    • My dd has a late December bday, but in private, she was held back (appropriately so, deadline in NY is Sept for privates) 5-3-2021 12:58pm
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    • people are crazy 5-3-2021 12:58pm
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    • Got mad? Sounds nuts 5-3-2021 12:58pm
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    • Yeah, my dd is born late November, she is now 20 and it never made a difference that she was one of the young ones in class. 5-3-2021 12:59pm
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      • this is me- made a difference for me, was always the smallest- slowest 5-3-2021 1:03pm
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        • Could have been that way anyway. I know kids who hit puberty early would have been Even worse if they were redhsirted 5-3-2021 1:06pm
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      • OP here. Yes we sent on time. I based it on preschool, they said she was ready for KG. The KG said the same. I figured preschool would get an extra tuition year if they...(more) 5-3-2021 1:05pm
        said hold back and they did sat it for some kids. I just followed professional
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    • first of all people judge about everything and want to talk about college in preschool. I have 3 kids close to cutoff, did it both ways, pluses and minuses each way 5-3-2021 12:59pm
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    • I will never understand holding kids back without giving them a chance to succeed. My late December boy is at an SHSAT school, and his age made no never mind past second grade. 5-3-2021 1:05pm
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      • My DD is one of the youngest and she is "merely" above average in 11th. I had someone ask if I wish I had held her back. Implying that only 2 AP courses and being on the lower...(more) 5-3-2021 1:08pm
        end of high honor roll was somehow not good enough and if I only I had held her back she might have been a superstar. It was just...a special conversation
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      • np I'm late december and it caught up with me in HS and first year of college, 17 first semester 5-3-2021 1:09pm
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        • Me too but i was always totally fine. Nothing ever caught up with me. 5-3-2021 1:10pm
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          • good for you then. I was a late bloomer and could have used the extra year 5-3-2021 1:13pm
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  18. Toddler Remind us why it's bad to redshirt for K 1-27-2021 3:01pm (86 replies)
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    • It's not bad to redshirt for K in itself, but it does change things. Do you need to? 1-27-2021 3:01pm
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    • because your kid may feel big and old and stupid when younger kids surpass him 1-27-2021 3:01pm
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      • Or your kid will be bored 1-27-2021 3:02pm
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    • Q: Remind us why it's bad to redshirt for K 1-27-2021 3:02pm
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    • Because then the parents complain that school isn't challenging enough. Because their first grade is 7 years old. 1-27-2021 3:02pm
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    • Because it makes no difference in the long run, except for in Hockey. 1-27-2021 3:02pm
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      • ^a 19yo senior in HS isn't going to get a better ACT score than an 18yo, for example. Any initial gains in elementary will disappear by HS 1-27-2021 3:03pm
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        • Some kids struggle immensely until then though 1-27-2021 3:05pm
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          • Which kids? And due to age? 1-27-2021 3:05pm
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            • Yes. Developmentally not matured...physically 1-27-2021 3:05pm
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              • ^ I mean this more so for boys. Girls are gaining on boys because of video games etc. They also are given more positive reinforcement in school 1-27-2021 3:07pm
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              • This is where you should consult with your doc. I'm a parent who didn't redshirt their Aug 30th ds. And it would have been easier for him not to have kids almost 2 years older in...(more) 1-27-2021 3:07pm
                his class. They were really too intense.
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                • Depends on the kid. You see what they’re like in preschool 1-27-2021 3:08pm
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                  • Typically, any developmental differences that would impact children's learning in elementary would even out by 2nd grade. 1-27-2021 3:09pm
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                    • ^by grade 3, they should all be in the concrete operational stage. 1-27-2021 3:09pm
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                    • No, that’s definitely not true 1-27-2021 3:09pm
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                      • ^ And again, those early years where they struggle affects their confidence which going forward affects how they learn 1-27-2021 3:10pm
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                        • Sure, and this is a teacher education issue. I think that before grade 3, there is little benefit to age-based academic schooling. 1-27-2021 3:11pm
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                          • ^it is also the case that children are more likely to be dx'd with ADHD based on their age in early elementary. This is a very big problem for the younger kids. 1-27-2021 3:11pm
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                            • ^partly because many kids in 1st or even in 2nd are not in the concrete op stage. You can still be preoperational by 7. 1-27-2021 3:12pm
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                            • Again, another reason it’s better to be a little older 1-27-2021 3:12pm
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                              • Early on! But not later. These are transitory benefits. I think that increased teacher ed will help. 1-27-2021 3:13pm
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                                • No, you are wrong 1-27-2021 3:14pm
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                                  • Except I'm not...? 1-27-2021 3:15pm
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                              • The problem is also that the more these grades skew older, the more the behavioral norms for these grades start to shift. 1-27-2021 3:14pm
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                          • Pretty evident that teachers as a whole are not attacking the problem effectively 1-27-2021 3:12pm
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                            • ^ teachers 1-27-2021 3:12pm
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                              • I don't disagree. 1-27-2021 3:12pm
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                      • How so? This is how development works. 1-27-2021 3:10pm
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                        • You’re wrong 1-27-2021 3:10pm
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                          • I'm a specialist in this area. How am I wrong here? Tell me more about development. 1-27-2021 3:11pm
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                            • And so am It 1-27-2021 3:12pm
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                              • Ok, so tell me where I"m getting this wrong. I research/teach this at the college level. 1-27-2021 3:13pm
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                                • I am a middle school counselor. 1-27-2021 3:14pm
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                                  • I have a PhD in this subject. 1-27-2021 3:15pm
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                                    • I don’t care what you have. 1-27-2021 3:16pm
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                                  • You're not an expert in cog dev. But I do understand you have a lot of experience with middle schoolers. I have a middle schooler who started 7th at age 11. 1-27-2021 3:17pm
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                              • ^ even up to seventh grade they are developmentally different 1-27-2021 3:13pm
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                                • Not in the same way as the difference between pre-op and concrete op. Preop kids simply aren't ready to do school, to sit still, to attend, to use operations to read and solve...(more) 1-27-2021 3:14pm
                                  problems.
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                                  • Have you ever seen the amount of boys who are o younger side in iep(s)? My advice to anyone who would be on the fence about this is to wait 1-27-2021 3:15pm
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                                    • This is part of the issue, but the issue isn't with the kids! The issue is not understanding development. 1-27-2021 3:17pm
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                                      • You just proved that someone with a PhD doesn’t even understand the true development. Now, with so many distractions for kids phones video games etc. it is a very different developmental process 1-27-2021 3:19pm
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                                        • Omg. You are talking nonsense now. 1-27-2021 3:19pm
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                                          • ^the idea that phones/video games would impact how a kid goes through cognitive developmental stages is DANGEROUS NONSENSE. 1-27-2021 3:20pm
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                                            • Wow. I think this conversation is done with 1-27-2021 3:21pm
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                                              • Absolutely. Please do some reading. 1-27-2021 3:21pm
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                                                • Uh huh. Already I know you are not a PhD. Anyone who would speak to another professional like that is not one with a doctorate 1-27-2021 3:22pm
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                                                  • I'm on YBM, bitch. I can talk to you however I want. Want to do a theory smackdown? 1-27-2021 3:23pm
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                                                    • ^you'd be very surprised that YBM is full of PhDs who act like humans when they aren't in a professional setting. I'm not at work, babe. I'm talking to someone claiming...(more) 1-27-2021 3:24pm
                                                      developmental knowledge with an MA in counseling.
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                                            • ^there is absolutely NO evidence that this is the case. NONE. 1-27-2021 3:21pm
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                                              • You’re wrong. It most certainly impacts their developmental process 1-27-2021 3:21pm
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                                                • No, dear. No it doesn't. Please read. Read peer-reviewed studies. You will not find ONE that says such a thing. 1-27-2021 3:22pm
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                                          • I think you were talking out of your ass. Where did you get this PhD from? Unless you are in the throes of it I don’t think you understand 1-27-2021 3:20pm
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                                            • In the throes of it? So you think someone getting a PhD knows more than someone who has been tenured, teaching, and researching in the field for years? 1-27-2021 3:22pm
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                                              • ^there's little need for someone like me to argue that I know more than a middle school counselor. 1-27-2021 3:23pm
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                                      • ^kids are being misdiagnosed. It's not that they don't belong in these grades, but that our education system doesn't prepare teachers to understand development along with cultural...(more) 1-27-2021 3:19pm
                                        practices of redshirting that have led to 6yos being in classes with 7.5yos.
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      • Hockey, and all sports outside if school, are by age and you can't redshirt. 1-27-2021 3:03pm
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        • this is the only supporting data. 1-27-2021 3:04pm
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          • That isn't redshirting at all. Hockey goes by birth year. The Jan - March kids are bugger and better and more likely to end up pros. They weren't red shirtted 1-27-2021 3:05pm
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            • I'm referring to one of the few studies on redshirting. 1-27-2021 3:06pm
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              • No you are referring Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers. There is no resorting in hickey. He doesn't say that 1-27-2021 3:07pm
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                • Yes, I am. It was a general reference....(more) 1-27-2021 3:08pm
                  • It doesn't say they were redshirtted....(more) 1-27-2021 3:09pm
                    those who start school timed so that they are older than their classmates (and who are hockey players) are more likely to be drafted, and drafted high, by a National Hockey League team.
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                  • ^it's not "redshirting" per se, but it is the idea that age is related to outcomes. 1-27-2021 3:10pm
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                    • It isn't redshirting at all. In sports they have cutoff ages. In school they do too but many places allow you to wait. NYC doesn't allow redshirting. Nobody should. If your...(more) 1-27-2021 3:14pm
                      kid can't keep up they can repeat a year.
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                      • *sigh* it is an example of one of the very very few places where age gives you an advantage. 1-27-2021 3:15pm
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                        • What the hickey study says is that Jan - March birthdays have an advantage. 1-27-2021 3:17pm
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                          • YES. 1-27-2021 3:18pm
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                            • And they were not redshirtted. Somebody will always be the oldest 1-27-2021 3:19pm
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                              • yes, dear. 1-27-2021 3:25pm
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                                • ^this is so not the point... but yes, this is not "redshirting" in Canada. For hockey. Forget I even brought it up as an example of one of the very few areas in which age has an...(more) 1-27-2021 3:25pm
                                  advantage
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        • Ha! My ds redshirted for hockey! 1-27-2021 3:08pm
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          • Don't tell that one responder! 1-27-2021 3:08pm
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            • Seriously. 1-27-2021 3:10pm
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          • In college? Surely he was a mite, squirr, pee wee and bantam when age appropriate 1-27-2021 3:14pm
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            • For prep school. You can't make the high school varsity roster unless you repeat a grade. Unfortunately that's how it works in new england. 1-27-2021 4:05pm
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    • When your kid is 18 they are legally an adult. You don't want them in high school and living at home until they are 19 1-27-2021 3:03pm
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    • If you have a boy born after June I think it’s fine. If you’re cut off is September 30 I mean 1-27-2021 3:03pm
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    • If your kid hits puberty early and they are already the oldest in the grade it is awkward for everyone 1-27-2021 3:04pm
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    • It's weird! My ds is the youngest boy in his class, but well within the cutoff range. His friends were a year below him because so many kids in his grade were too damn old. He was...(more) 1-27-2021 3:05pm
      so much smaller, though his grades were better.
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    • Because the poorer families can't afford to not send their kids on time so it creates an even bigger disparity between the haves and the have nots 1-27-2021 3:06pm
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    • I wish i did with my june boy. he's the youngest and it really hurts him when he's trying out for a hs sports team because they go by grade and not age 1-27-2021 3:12pm
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    • it's not bad. it's only good. but sometimes it is unnecessary. 1-27-2021 3:12pm
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    • You will be sticking the teacher with a huge developmental range that she has to try to teach in a single classroom. 1-27-2021 9:43pm
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  19. Toddler They have advanced pull out classes starting in 3rd grade, which means there is a culture of redshirting and tutoring of very young kids to get them Into those classes . Sounds...(more) 1-10-2021 9:47pm (5 replies)
    awful
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    • ugh thats terrible. 1-10-2021 9:48pm
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    • Oops meant for Greenwich post 1-10-2021 9:48pm
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      • Lots of school districts have this. And then those districts attract those parents. 1-10-2021 9:50pm
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    • Who is “they”? 1-10-2021 9:48pm
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    • Pull out is pretty much BS 1-10-2021 10:00pm
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  20. Toddler My DC will start K in Fall 2021. There are a ton of K parents this year redshirting their kids. I’m worried about my kid being the youngest and how huge this K class will be ! 9-18-2020 1:25am (7 replies)
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    • Would def. red shirt if it wasn't in person 9-18-2020 1:26am
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    • When is his birthday? 9-18-2020 1:27am
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      • March. He’s not in Pre k now bc it’s closed 9-18-2020 10:08am
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    • you can't red shirt in nyc public 9-18-2020 1:37am
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      • How do people do it? 9-18-2020 3:09am
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    • it will be ok 9-18-2020 1:47am
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  21. Toddler Would you consider redshirting if you moved to a new school district and the age cutoff meant your DC was several months younger than the new limit? October to January for...(more) 9-1-2020 12:58pm (12 replies)
    example
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    • ^so dc in theory could be 15 months younger than the oldest kid in class 9-1-2020 12:59pm
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      • entering what grade, K? 9-1-2020 1:00pm
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        • 2nd or 3rd 9-1-2020 1:00pm
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          • That’s not redshirting that’s holding back 9-1-2020 1:01pm
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            • whatever you want to call it 9-1-2020 1:03pm
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            • This-redshirting is another year of pre k. Big difference. 9-1-2020 1:05pm
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        • High School 9-1-2020 1:00pm
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    • No. 9-1-2020 1:00pm
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    • Only if dc needed it. I’m not for redshirting just for age alone 9-1-2020 1:00pm
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    • That’s not redshirting. That’s putting him in the proper class for his age. 9-1-2020 1:02pm
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    • This happened with a friend. DD did second grade twice with a birthday of 12/30. 9-1-2020 1:10pm
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      • ^^new cutoff was October 1 and school said they would not put into third. 9-1-2020 1:11pm
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  22. Toddler The verdict is in on redshirting . . ....(more) 7-23-2020 7:47pm (4 replies)
    • Yeah, this year I would redshirt 7-23-2020 7:49pm
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      • 100%. 7-23-2020 7:49pm
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      • absolutely FUCK zoom school and teachers who dont' want to teach 7-23-2020 7:51pm
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    • What does it say 7-23-2020 7:49pm
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  23. Toddler If you’re in a school or district that allows for redshirting, in which birthday month is the general cut off for when parents start redshirting? 2-1-2020 4:27pm (1 reply)
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    • Generally only November. Any earlier than that gets a hairy eyeball 2-1-2020 4:28pm
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  24. Toddler Okay. I need some help. We are considering a move from NJ to Westchester. I have a very young 4 yo boy who is supposed to be starting k next year (he also missed a bit of pre k...(more) 12-29-2019 12:22pm (22 replies)
    because of medical issues) - in N.J. I would def redshirt him but I don’t even know how this would work in NY or even if it’s possible. I’m just so worried he’s not going to be ready if we move. He’s a July baby btw and I’m aware of the cutoff difference.
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    • Trust your gut. Red shirt if you think he needs the extra time. 12-29-2019 12:24pm
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      • This. There’s very little downside in your situation 12-29-2019 12:25pm
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    • Send him to school. With a dec 31 cut off he is not young 12-29-2019 12:24pm
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      • It depends on the peer group. 12-29-2019 12:26pm
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        • The peer group is kids born same year bet jan and dec 12-29-2019 12:37pm
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          • Unless people redshirt 12-29-2019 12:49pm
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    • bronxville mom-EVERYONE here red shirts. My dd was October and I didnt...she ended up having to repeat 2nd. 12-29-2019 12:25pm
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      • What do they do? Repeal pre k? In N.J. they have transitional k programs but I can’t seem to find any in Westchester! We’re looking at the river towns 12-29-2019 12:26pm
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        • I'd just look for a more 'academic" preschool that has a good 4s program. It's even more common for boys to do this. You just dont even register him for K until the following year 12-29-2019 12:27pm
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          • Okay. I think this is the thing to do. 12-29-2019 12:29pm
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            • Thanks for your help!!! 12-29-2019 12:29pm
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              • YW! enjoy. the river towns are beautiful 12-29-2019 12:29pm
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                • Thanks! We’re super excited. 12-29-2019 12:30pm
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          • 4 years old. Academic. Really? What about Montessori? You get academic, yet they follow the dc more than in more traditional schools. 12-29-2019 12:30pm
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            • hence me using quotations...some preschool focus more on reading readiness etc than others-if they're repeating a 4s program then that's what I meant CALM DOWN KAREN 12-29-2019 12:35pm
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        • i didn't think this was a state thing. i thought it was a locality thing 12-29-2019 12:28pm
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          • the state law is you start K if you turn 5 before 12/1. I dont think it states you HAVE to, it states you CAN 12-29-2019 12:29pm
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            • In NJ, kindergarten isn't even compulsory. And after that, you can always homeschool. No dc must go to school. 12-29-2019 12:34pm
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    • is westchester calendar year? i thought only nyc was 12-29-2019 12:27pm
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    • I remember someone telling me that parents are sometimes upset they didn't redshirt while no parent ever regretting redshirting. Not sure whether it's true, but it stuck with me. 12-29-2019 12:29pm
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      • I ended up redshirting in 6th when my ds changed schools. It was the right time for him. 12-29-2019 12:33pm
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    • Do you work outside of the home? Can he stay home a couple days a week, and then you have him in a program the other days. Maybe Montessori? He's only 4. 12-29-2019 12:31pm
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  25. Special Needs If I decide to hold my kid back and redshirt him from kindergarten can he still have an IEP? 10-25-2019 12:39pm (25 replies)
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    • If he has a legit learning diability 10-25-2019 12:40pm
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      • op: He has a legit speech impairment 10-25-2019 12:41pm
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        • Then he will get an IEP for speech therapy, if warranted 10-25-2019 12:42pm
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          • op: But he will receive his speech therapy at the preschool even if he's kindergarten age? Turns 5 on 11/30 and that's our cutoff. 10-25-2019 12:43pm
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            • This is in NY state. 10-25-2019 12:43pm
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            • Here, you get services at public school after age 3 10-25-2019 12:43pm
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              • op: Ah. In NY you're under CPSE (the county) until kindergarten and then the district takes over (CSE) 10-25-2019 12:45pm
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          • ^But I don't understand why you'd redshirt just for that 10-25-2019 12:43pm
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            • This, signed mom of ds who had speech delay, a d dec birthday, and got speech therapy (and other therapies) at school. he got speech 5x30 and OT 3x30 in K. It was great. 10-25-2019 1:18pm
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        • ^^^a little background. He's been getting speech since he was 2, didn't start speaking until 3.5, language scores are low, articulation very low. Got speech 3 times a week...(more) 10-25-2019 12:42pm
          through CPSE. His birthday is late November and he's tiny and VERY immature. I don't want to send him to kindergarten in the fall, he needs another year, he would be the youngest in his grade. Director says he won't get his speech services then because he needs to be enrolled in kindergarten to get an IEP through the CSE since CPSE will end.
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          • NP Sounds like a good rationale for keeping him back, for sure. A lot of parents would make the same decision. 10-25-2019 12:43pm
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            • Yes, but I don't want to hold him back a year if it means sacrificing the speech therapy. KWIM? Is that even legal? 10-25-2019 12:44pm
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              • I don't know how this works, but my friend did something VERY similar. Her DS basically repeated PreK (with a full time para). I don't know how, but he certainly didn't get...(more) 10-25-2019 12:46pm
                refused services for being red-shirted. Keep asking for what he needs until you get it... maybe hire an educational lawyer to guide you? I know this family definitely has a lawyer helping them figure out what they are entitled to
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                • op: TY. I'm calling state ed to try and get an answer as to the law. If I need to I'll seek a lawyer, hoping not to have to spend the $$ if I go in armed with knowledge. We'll...(more) 10-25-2019 12:48pm
                  see.
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          • He won't be the youngest in NYC. The cutoff is 12/31. 10-25-2019 1:18pm
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    • The school might actually support him waiting another year. 10-25-2019 12:45pm
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      • op: The school is saying he needs to be in kindergarten in order to get an IEP. If he waits a year he is neither CPSE or CSE and therefore won't have an IEP at all. 10-25-2019 12:46pm
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        • Well there is your answer. You should be able to get an IEP, but you may lose services for a while 10-25-2019 12:48pm
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          • op: Hm. Maybe. I don't believe this but will try to get a hold of an answer before we meet. 10-25-2019 12:50pm
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            • You can get an IEP at any grade level. What I think they are saying is that there won't be an automatic transfer of your case, and you can't get services outside of school for...(more) 10-25-2019 12:51pm
              kids that age
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        • You would have to sue for pendency to keep his CPSE IEP in palce for the year. 10-25-2019 1:19pm
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    • Does he have an IEP now? 10-25-2019 5:53pm
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    • I would definately try that extra maturity year before an IEP. It can make all the difference. If there is a real learning disability and not just maturity at play, it will still...(more) 10-25-2019 5:54pm
      be there even after red shirting so nothing to lose.
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      • Np. In nyc if the child goes to public he will be put in 1st grade the next year. A big loss 10-26-2019 10:22am
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    • You need to sue for pendency. Then you can keep cpse services for the extra year 10-26-2019 10:39am
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