Search Results for "SAHM"

  1. Toddler I want to be a thin sahm:( 7 hr 48 min ago (5 replies)
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    • Intermittent fasting! I'm telling you it's amazing. You can do it! The first few days are hard but then your body adjusts and the pounds melt off and you have so much energy. 7 hr 48 min ago
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      • What hours do you do it? 7 hr 47 min ago
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        • It varies. I basically start eating 16 hours after my last meal the night before. The earlier I stopped eating, the earlier I can start again. Some people are more strict but I'm...(more) 7 hr 44 min ago
          a single mom with a boyfriend and that means there are nights I'm eating at 6:30 with my kids at home and nights I'm having dinner in a restaurant with the BF at 8:00 PM. At the very minimum, if schedule is nuts, I never, ever eat before noon. I have black tea with one splenda. Oh, and I work out in the morning! Again, tough for the first few days to a week but OMG so worth it and then so easy. And it's so nice to really enjoy dinner!
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      • I go something wrong. I'm not eating until 1 but I eat non stop between 7 and 8. I think I eat more than before IF 7 hr 45 min ago
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      • I'm thin enough and a SAHM. I want to do IF, but I need my coffee with half and half in the morning. Otherwise, I usually don't eat anything until 11:00am anyway and only eat 1-2...(more) 7 hr 38 min ago
        meals a day.
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  2. Toddler There is this woman on my instagram who posted a picture of herself wearing glasses and sitting at a desk. the caption says "the Sunday scaries dont exist around here because...(more) 9 hr 58 min ago (19 replies)
    Monday means back to routine and a schedule" the woman is a sahm. lol what are people thinking when they do this shit?
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    • i hate instagram 9 hr 58 min ago
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    • Is she attractive? 9 hr 58 min ago
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    • Link or you're lying 9 hr 58 min ago
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      • op- here you go...(more) 9 hr 57 min ago
        • She looks like Lewis' girlfriend in Suits. 9 hr 57 min ago
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        • this person looks like a freak 9 hr 56 min ago
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        • Well you made it sound like she was pretending to go off to work. She says right in her post that she's an organized stay at home mom. She's pretentious as fuck but not faking. 9 hr 55 min ago
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          • This post has been disliked 3 times. showop- lol yes, you are right. im the one who's wrong here! give me a break 9 hr 55 min ago
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            • Well, yes. She's not presenting anything untrue. Your interpretation and irritation are all on you. Stop following such a silly simple woman, it's not worth your energy. 9 hr 52 min ago
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            • or- When I was a SAHM I absolutely loved Sunday nights. It felt like everything was back in order and under control. I ran a very structured, organized household. I am...(more) 9 hr 50 min ago
              uncomfortable with the open endedness of vacations and weekends and everyone bored and hanging around and needing something, etc.
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          • No one suggested she is faking 9 hr 54 min ago
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        • even her candids look so staged. ugh. 9 hr 52 min ago
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        • that is not a desk. It's her kitchen! 9 hr 30 min ago
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    • did you write back: the sunday scaries don't exist around there because you don't have a job 9 hr 57 min ago
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      • np I think this is what she is saying. Weekends are her Monday 9 hr 47 min ago
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    • The same thing those who work are thinking when they post about having the Sunday scaries. They’re posting about their lives and feelings about their personal situations 9 hr 55 min ago
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    • I mute, or just unfollow people who annoy me. Try it! 9 hr 53 min ago
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    • Whatever she seems more normal than most ig people. 9 hr 51 min ago
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    • she's a SAHM ; of course she love smondays 9 hr 32 min ago
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  3. Toddler This post has been disliked 4 times. showSil is such a fucking loser. she has been a sahm for 18 years now. her dh is really struggling at work. he is getting older and having trouble finding lucrative positions as he...(more) 2-23-2020 11:33am (46 replies)
    had in the past. she will not get even a pt job to help out, despite him asking her repeatedly. she insists that she needs to be home for her 2 dc because hs is the most important time you need to be there. she can't work while they are in school because "she has running around to do". any given time time of day, i can go on FB as she is posting stupid shit. i hope they divorce.
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    • why are you so up in their business? 2-23-2020 11:34am
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      • because she is calling me to complain about it 2-23-2020 11:35am
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        • you can politely tell her that she needs to discuss this with her dh, you dont want to be in the middle 2-23-2020 11:35am
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    • tl;dr 2-23-2020 11:34am
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    • Divorce rarely improves anyone's financial situation. 2-23-2020 11:35am
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      • i would just love to have her out of our lives and then i no longer have to pretend to like her 2-23-2020 11:35am
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        • Ah, so it's not like you care about her dh. It's about your feelings. 2-23-2020 11:36am
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          • i do care about him. i'm afraid he will have a heart attack from all of the stress. he should have never married her. she is so incredibly selfish. 2-23-2020 11:38am
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            • Divorce is rarely a stress reducer. 2-23-2020 11:38am
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            • Stop revealing in it, it’s unseemly 2-23-2020 11:40am
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            • how long have you been in love with your BIL 2-23-2020 11:42am
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              • it's her brother weirdo 2-23-2020 11:53am
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        • out of your life lol. she is mother to your nieces or nephews, she isnt out of your life if you want to see the kids 2-23-2020 11:36am
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          • her kids are 15 and 17. once they are adults, how many times a year will i likely have to see her? 2-23-2020 11:37am
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            • why would you wish that these kids' family would blow up? bc that is what divorce is. you are thinking very selfishly 2-23-2020 11:38am
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          • The father will likely get parenting time, and she can see them on his time 2-23-2020 11:38am
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            • THESE KIDS ARE IN HS AND ALMOST ADULTS! 2-23-2020 11:39am
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    • oh, yeah, divorce will really do wonders for their financial situation. And how do you know how much he has "repeatedly asked her to work"? 2-23-2020 11:35am
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      • because she calls and texts me about this! says it is not fair! 2-23-2020 11:35am
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        • uh huh. don't believe you. you gotta come up with better fake scenarios. 2-23-2020 11:36am
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        • do you have no agency over your side of this? 2-23-2020 11:36am
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        • And you’re a confidant who gossips on social media about her relatives! Nice 2-23-2020 11:37am
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          • omg, the last time i checked, this is an anon board. it's not like i am discussing her with family and friends. 2-23-2020 11:40am
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    • i had a sil like that, refused to go back to TEACHING! so they lost their house, she divorced him and is now mad that he rebounded, has a house, and is getting remarried 2-23-2020 11:35am
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      • How do you know this business and her business now that they’re divorced? 2-23-2020 11:36am
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        • This post has been deleted. 2-23-2020 11:37am
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          • You’re relishing all this, you sanctimonious cow 2-23-2020 11:37am
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            • This post has been deleted. 2-23-2020 11:38am
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              • I’m sure again arrange for a stealthy showing of the nieces when they’re at your house. Your compassionate heart would have no problem with this 2-23-2020 11:40am
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                • This post has been deleted. 2-23-2020 11:40am
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                  • This post has been deleted. 2-23-2020 11:44am
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                    • This post has been deleted. 2-23-2020 11:44am
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                      • This post has been deleted. 2-23-2020 11:45am
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                        • This post has been deleted. 2-23-2020 11:45am
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                • This post has been deleted. 2-23-2020 11:41am
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    • How do you know any of their business? What bil tattkes on his wife about repeatedly being told to get a job? I’d say you’re a trouble makers or a fake 2-23-2020 11:35am
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      • op: oh FFS why would i make up a ridiculous boring post like this. she just does NOT want to work and does not have the wherewithal to tell him that so she makes up ridiculous...(more) 2-23-2020 11:36am
        excuses. and in her head, she is completely justified.
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        • np could she be a school secretary, they make like 40 and no summers 2-23-2020 11:37am
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          • And easy easy jobs to get, 2-23-2020 11:38am
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        • stay out of it. 2-23-2020 11:37am
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          • No it’s too gleeful 2-23-2020 11:38am
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            • oh boy. you are criticizing her but you have a heart like a grinch 2-23-2020 11:40am
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    • She sounds stupid and entitled. 2-23-2020 11:39am
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      • as does OP. 2-23-2020 11:41am
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        • op: wait a minute - why am i stupid and entitled? because i am critical of her? 2-23-2020 11:42am
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          • you think you really know the full extent of what goes on in their relationship based on one side, you should ask her in the future not to discuss her private marital concerns...(more) 2-23-2020 11:43am
            iwth you since you are family and you don't want to take sides
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  4. Toddler This post has been disliked 4 times. showSpeaking of wohm/sahm, it bugs me when we go out socially w/friends (couples) and I am in the minority in that I wohm, no one EVER asks about my job. The guys talk about work,...(more) 2-21-2020 1:55pm (94 replies)
    but neither the guys or wives EVER ask me about my job. I spend more time doing that than being home, but all they want to talk about is their kids, summers, schools, etc. Friggin annoying as hell
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    • this is so strange. we go out every weekend with couples and jobs are literally never brought up 2-21-2020 1:55pm
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      • np That seems strange to me. We go out with couples and it does not dominate the conversation, but we usually end up discussing it in some way 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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        • four jobs? 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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          • Usually yes. Different couples 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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            • oh Jeez, snooze festg 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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              • i love my job and i am interested in people's work NP 2-21-2020 2:00pm
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                • OK, but most others are not 2-21-2020 2:01pm
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                • np Ditto. 2-21-2020 2:01pm
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    • you are indeed annoying as hell. 2-21-2020 1:55pm
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    • Get over it. No one is interested in your job. Not me and not my dh. 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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    • Stop hanging out with them. 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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    • work is pretty much the most boring topic of conversation. 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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    • Your job bores people. 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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      • I actually have a cool job 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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        • No one cares. 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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        • which is? 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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          • This post has been disliked 3 times. showinternational renowned non profit. 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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            • eh 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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            • Zzzzzzzzz 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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            • zzzzzzz 2-21-2020 1:59pm
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            • Boring 2-21-2020 1:59pm
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            • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....clunk 2-21-2020 1:59pm
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            • You're on YBM at a really trolly time. I would be interested in your work because you are passionate about it 2-21-2020 1:59pm
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              • lol. These are not trolls my dear. they are realists 2-21-2020 2:00pm
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                • fuck off with your "dear" bullshit 2-21-2020 2:02pm
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              • right? who are these insecure weirdos? 2-21-2020 2:01pm
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                • Exactly that. Insecure people 2-21-2020 2:02pm
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                  • FFS. bc we don't give a shit about someones job we are insecure? i can't stand this throwout word 2-21-2020 2:02pm
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                    • you sound angry 2-21-2020 2:03pm
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                      • right, the name caller is calling me angry. Rich! 2-21-2020 2:03pm
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                        • lol wtf *backing away* 2-21-2020 2:04pm
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                          • that doesn't make sense here. 2-21-2020 2:04pm
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                        • weirdo? that was me, and if you needed to multi post ZZZZZZZZ about a job that helps people well - i stand by the descriptor 2-21-2020 2:05pm
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                          • ooooh, it's YOU. the multi poster accuser. No hon. just here. just here. Psycho 2-21-2020 2:06pm
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                    • it is the hostility that is weird 2-21-2020 2:04pm
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                      • who is being hostile? 2-21-2020 2:05pm
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                        • you post above just proves the point 2-21-2020 2:07pm
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                          • nope, that's me above multi poster accuser psycho 2-21-2020 2:08pm
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            • Simmer down. I don't even give a shit what Melinda Gates does 9-5. 2-21-2020 2:00pm
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    • You can bring it up. 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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      • I can't because none of the other women work and it would make me sound sanctimonious 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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        • oh you're not bright. 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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        • It is odd that they don't ask you about your work 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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          • no it's not. they don't care. no one does 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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            • I care about what people are interested in. If the OP is passionate about her job I find that to be interesting. 2-21-2020 1:59pm
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              • Her friends don’t agree 2-21-2020 1:59pm
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                • which I think is sort of odd 2-21-2020 2:00pm
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                  • I don’t. We don’t ever talk work in a big social group 2-21-2020 2:01pm
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                    • ditto. I adore hearing about vacations, what their kids are doing,etc..leave work behind!! 2-21-2020 2:02pm
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                      • you people are insane 2-21-2020 2:02pm
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                        • i'm insane b/c I enjoy hearing about vacations? 2-21-2020 2:03pm
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                        • No we are socially adept 2-21-2020 2:03pm
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                      • Right? Because then it’s a conversation. Not me droning on about my work. Which would be weird 2-21-2020 2:03pm
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        • Why do you want to talk about your job? 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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          • np: maybe she loves her job? 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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            • Talk to your co workers then 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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            • Np so? 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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        • these are your friends, for god's sake! surely they know how you spend your days, ie at work, working. you feel sanctimonious saying the funniest thing happened at work yesterday?...(more) 2-21-2020 1:57pm
          or the saddest thing ...
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        • sahm here: hahaha 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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    • what kind of work do you do? 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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    • In our circles no one asks if you work. It is considered rude. My guess is they may not know that you work and it's up to you to say something like "I just finished a big...(more) 2-21-2020 1:57pm
      project." I am not working right now but I love hearing about different careers. The reason most circles talk about kids it is a safe topic and what we all have in common.
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      • Why is it considered rude to ask if you work? 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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      • OP: these are all good friends who know darn well I work f/t and where. Just none of the wives do so everyone avoids it 2-21-2020 1:59pm
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        • They don’t care about your work! 2-21-2020 2:00pm
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          • NP: because they are self concious that they don't work and can only talk about kids, private schools and vacations 2-21-2020 2:01pm
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            • No, because they are NOT interested! 2-21-2020 2:02pm
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    • Go out with co-workers for job talk 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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    • i don't want to hear about anyone's job unless it's truly off the charts interesting. i only listen to dh's stories because i have to, by law 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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      • mine is off the charts interesting 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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      • What topics do you approve of at dinner? 2-21-2020 2:02pm
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    • who wants to talk about work?? 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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    • No one asks about mine either. I work Pat and I think most assume I sah 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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    • No one ever talks about work when with friends. That’s odd 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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    • Are the men in the same field? Are the other women SAHM? 2-21-2020 1:59pm
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      • no, most of the men in finance and yes, all of the women SAHM 2-21-2020 2:01pm
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    • to be honest, as a woman who stayed home, I find that my interests and intellectual life are not acknowledged with the workers around me. I find that they can only talk about...(more) 2-21-2020 2:01pm
      their (boring) jobs, with very little cultural and intellectual horizon. their worlds are as narrow as their jobs dictate.
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      • and you world is as narrow as you 4 walls and car pool? is that all you life is? well same with people who work, like say...your dh 2-21-2020 2:07pm
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        • hey, lovely, can you read? that was exactly my point: as I have time to deepen my knowledge, read, engage in intellectual activities, those others are consumed with their work...(more) 2-21-2020 2:08pm
          life. My dh is in an intellectual line of work, so the problem does not exist with him.
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          • yes, i see your intellectual pursuits, trolling yb 2-21-2020 2:12pm
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            • while you, on the other hand, are busy with life changing stuff. point is, those who think that their jobs give them more personality over others are the joke in op's scenario....(more) 2-21-2020 2:14pm
              narrow world.
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    • Wow, it's a really defensive crowd on at the moment. Maybe try this topic with the evening YBMers.. more sane 2-21-2020 2:05pm
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      • b/c people don't agree with you they aren't defensive. 2-21-2020 2:05pm
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        • I'm not the op 2-21-2020 2:07pm
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          • and? 2-21-2020 2:07pm
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            • and you were addressing me as if I were the OP 2-21-2020 2:08pm
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              • no, i was talking to you. Not op. resopnding to this post. 2-21-2020 2:09pm
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                • jesus christ. ok yeah there's a crazy person (you?) on this post 2-21-2020 2:09pm
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                  • Are you an idiot? i responded to your post. I never insinuated you were op. what a moron 2-21-2020 2:10pm
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  5. Toddler If you are a sahm, what do you answer when asked "So what do you do?" at your 20 year college reunion? 2-21-2020 1:47pm (73 replies)
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    • im a domestic engineer 2-21-2020 1:48pm
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    • I’m a sah mom. 2-21-2020 1:48pm
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    • stay at home with the kids and list other things I do 2-21-2020 1:48pm
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      • Why? 2-21-2020 1:48pm
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        • because i'm more than a sahm? 2-21-2020 1:48pm
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          • Way to look insecure. 2-21-2020 1:49pm
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            • no, that's you. 2-21-2020 1:49pm
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          • But if you were a doctor, you wouldn't say "I'm a physician and I also knit." 2-21-2020 1:50pm
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            • why not? if you knit and make preemie hats that's something I would love hearing about 2-21-2020 1:50pm
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              • This post has been disliked 3 times. showare you simple? 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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                • because I like hearing a broad range of interests, I'm simple? 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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                  • Are you? 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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                    • can you answer my question first? thanks. 2-21-2020 1:52pm
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                      • That’s not how it works. 2-21-2020 1:52pm
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                        • how what works? 2-21-2020 1:52pm
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                          • Asking and answering questions. I asked you first. 2-21-2020 1:53pm
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                            • OK, I'll answer. no, I'm not simple. Now please answer mine. Thanks. 2-21-2020 1:53pm
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                              • Little bit. 2-21-2020 1:53pm
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                                • that's funny. you just revealed yourself as very simple. ironic. 2-21-2020 1:54pm
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                                  • Nice try 2-21-2020 1:54pm
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                                    • yes, it is. and I'm correct. 2-21-2020 1:54pm
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                    • np: are you trolling? 2-21-2020 1:52pm
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            • Np-I know a lawyer who also quilts...the quilting is much more interesting and she does bring it up. 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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              • see, I like hearing about fun hobbies like this. weird it has to all be about a job 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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                • I agree. 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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                • np: which is why I never ask people that question. It's shitty party etiquette. 2-21-2020 1:53pm
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    • I don't work or I don't work outside the house/home 2-21-2020 1:48pm
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    • whenever someone asked me that inane question, i'd either say i was home with the kids or i was an aging slacker, no job, no prospects. 2-21-2020 1:48pm
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    • Im a wohm, but I've heard the sahm's say "I tabled my job to do the hardest job -- raise my children...." 2-21-2020 1:48pm
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      • yes, I'm sure you hear that a lot. 2-21-2020 1:49pm
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      • i always hated when the kids were little and all the moms wanted to make sure everyone knew what they did before leaving jobs. like, why do i give a shit that you were in...(more) 2-21-2020 1:49pm
        marketing? we're all doing the same hting now.
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        • it’s an identity crisis 2-21-2020 1:50pm
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          • i remember one lady even saying, what did you do BC? and i had no idea what BC meant. 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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        • I'm a sahm and used to see the same thing... I'm a sahm but used to be in big law. 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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          • ^for example 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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      • Ugh that's a shitty thing to say 2-21-2020 1:50pm
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      • ugh, hate this 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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      • because moms who have jobs aren't raising their children? 2-21-2020 1:55pm
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    • I don't go. If I am asked about what I do randomly, I lie. 2-21-2020 1:49pm
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      • What do you mean, you lie? 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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        • I say I am a translator. I have made maybe $100 a year doing it. 2-21-2020 1:52pm
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          • doesn't sound like a lie to me 2-21-2020 1:54pm
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            • it really is, I make so little it doesn't count. 2-21-2020 1:55pm
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              • whatever, you're a translator. Own it, girl! 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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    • i hate being asked this bc it’s embarrassing. i want to find a job just don’t even know where to start right now and overwhelmed as it is. so i say right now i’m not working, but...(more) 2-21-2020 1:49pm
      i’ll go back soon hopefully
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      • i'm not all embarrassed to be doing what i do. 2-21-2020 1:50pm
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        • i am 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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          • why? 2-21-2020 1:52pm
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            • because where i live all the women work and have exciting careers, so i feel like they judge me 2-21-2020 1:53pm
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              • think of it as their problem if they're insecure enough to judge you. that's all judgment is - this kind of judgement anyway. 2-21-2020 1:53pm
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                • maybe. but if i worked i’d judge people that didn’t. i judge people who don’t work and have a bunch of help. of course i don’t say it out loud but i think it 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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                  • ah ha. yes, that's the problem with judging others for their choices. you end up insecure about your own, because you assume everyone else is judging you. 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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        • np: that's you. OR is embarrassed. People are different 2-21-2020 1:52pm
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          • yes, i was just conversing, the old back and forth. 2-21-2020 1:52pm
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            • you're bad at this 2-21-2020 1:53pm
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    • "I'm at home with our four kids." done. 2-21-2020 1:50pm
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    • I am a mom 2-21-2020 1:50pm
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      • We're all moms 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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    • house elf 2-21-2020 1:50pm
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    • I'm home hovering over my precious only child" 2-21-2020 1:50pm
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    • i wohm and i avoid this question. cant stand it. 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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    • IMCP: Did you see Romy & Michelle's highschool reunion? Dont' say you invented post-its the women will laugh at you. 2-21-2020 1:51pm
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      • why do you need to identify yourself on an anonymous board? 2-21-2020 2:00pm
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    • I’m home with the kids now. Before that I was working for x as a y. Done 2-21-2020 1:52pm
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      • Yes, it's generally just as question to spur conversation. Can be a talk about staying home or about your past career in marketing or whatnot. Usually not meant to be a test. 2-21-2020 1:57pm
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    • depending on who asks, Dilettante or I don't work. 2-21-2020 1:55pm
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      • i'm the aging slacker above, and yes, i sometimes would say dilettante as well. it's a good answer to an idiotic question. 2-21-2020 1:56pm
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    • I like to say I lead a life of leisure... 2-21-2020 1:58pm
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    • “Why do you ask” 2-21-2020 2:08pm
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      • why wouldn't they ask? peoples jobs are what they spend most of their time doing, a man would never say this, you are showing right now that you find it embarrassing to be a sahm...(more) 2-21-2020 2:12pm
        and it is unless your husband is rich or you have money of your own. then who cares, "I'm raising my kids right now, what about you?"
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  6. Toddler This post has been disliked 3 times. showI totally get why women SAHM. The work force is a tough place to be, in fact very little progress since the Bloomberg days. I would take a step away if I could. 2-21-2020 11:57am (100 replies)
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    • How is it tough? 2-21-2020 11:57am
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      • It's still sexist. Women can't be too agressive, forceful, outspoken, etc. Still lots of unspoken rules we must conform to. Big expectations to deliver and act like you're not...(more) 2-21-2020 11:59am
        distracted by being a mom, etc. I can suck really bad.
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        • I think everything you say does happen but I think not enough women stand up to it. We just conform out of fear or whatever. 2-21-2020 12:02pm
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        • 1950 mom? 2-21-2020 12:05pm
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    • This post has been disliked 4 times. showI honestly think we're going to see a trend of more women deciding to work for 10-15 and then leave the workplace while raising kids. 2-21-2020 11:57am
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      • ^^^ And not try to work while kids are at home. 2-21-2020 11:58am
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      • lol, sure, as the cost of living continues to spiral, and wages stagnate. Thats not a thing dear. 2-21-2020 11:59am
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        • Lol. Gen Xers led the rise in working moms and more Millennials are opting to stay home. It's a thing, honey. 2-21-2020 12:02pm
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          • Yep. Op here I am gen x 2-21-2020 12:02pm
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          • Of course we led the rise in working moms--we watched our own be devastated financially by divorce 2-21-2020 12:04pm
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    • This post has been disliked 4 times. showI don't know how two working parents do it at all. In the next few weeks my kids need to stay after school a bunch of times for some rehearsals, pickup at 5...who can do that if...(more) 2-21-2020 11:58am
      working? The system works because some sahms pick up the slack.
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      • Speak for yourself, I have never, ever relied on a SAHM for anything. Never would. 2-21-2020 11:59am
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        • well not sure how you pick up at 5 on random days. You must have a flexible job. 2-21-2020 12:00pm
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          • np the people in my town who have dual income have local grandparents on call more often than not. or sitters or use the after care. but mostly grandparents 2-21-2020 12:00pm
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            • right, so someone willing to do it. 2-21-2020 12:01pm
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              • right. at pickup it is me and mostly grandparents lol 2-21-2020 12:02pm
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                • my in-laws would never help that way. Only time they did I was literally bed-ridden and could not drive, and that was reluctantly. 2-21-2020 12:03pm
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                  • i dont understand this mentality. its all hands on deck in my familiy, dh's family, and a few close friends when we need each other. that is what makes life worth living imo....(more) 2-21-2020 12:04pm
                    being selfish has to suck
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                    • That's just how in-laws are. They are close by but selfish people. 2-21-2020 12:05pm
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                    • That’s if you are all local to one another 2-21-2020 12:06pm
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                      • my folks live 1.5 hours away and i needed my mom badly and she was here more than not all summer. and she is old and in pain herself. i only hope i can be there for them like that...(more) 2-21-2020 12:06pm
                        when they need me more
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                        • So on a daily basis your mom picks up your kids when you can not? Stays home when they are ill? 2-21-2020 12:09pm
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                          • not daily no. but it is my example of family being there. i SAH> i was gravely ill and she came and went all summer, stayed over at times too. helped me daily for at least 2 mos 2-21-2020 12:10pm
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                            • You are fortunate, many don’t have that support. 2-21-2020 12:12pm
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            • OP here. i've always lived away from family so I never had that. 2-21-2020 12:01pm
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        • OP here. Same here. Would never do this. 2-21-2020 12:02pm
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      • OP. this is the stuff DH and I navigate 24 7. it has been so stressful. Getting easier as they get older but wow, what a dance! 2-21-2020 12:00pm
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      • I have maybe once over the last 15 years had a WOH ever ask me for help - they usually have a nanny or grandparent in place. 2-21-2020 12:07pm
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      • I have never once hadd a sahm offer to help me out. Ive had other woh mom offer help but never a sahm 2-21-2020 12:17pm
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    • omg. i am not"women" and i worked for two decades. i am home for my own personal family reasons 2-21-2020 11:59am
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    • I’m the person who keeps posting about everyone on my team quitting and believe me, staying at home sounds EXTREMELY good to me rn 2-21-2020 11:59am
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      • Every time you post a new update I think to myself, in my extremely southern BIL’s voice, “damn girl, got yourself into something now!” 2-21-2020 12:00pm
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      • Op here. I agree. And i've worked full time for 30 years. I would love to step away and be at home, managing the family. 2-21-2020 12:00pm
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        • I like working but this is stressful. And my dh is a workaholic who doesn’t get my stress. Like he keeps telling me to get over it and take advantage of “this amazing opportunity”...(more) 2-21-2020 12:02pm
          And it’s like yeah it is an amazing opportunity but I’ve been here two months and know NOTHING
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    • Eh, nothing will change if women don't carve out their own space and demand what they want and need. I'm in a male-dominated field (not finance) and have managed to get there. 2-21-2020 12:01pm
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      • What women need is help at home. A wife, if you will. If your DH takes care of everything, then you can work like a man. 2-21-2020 12:02pm
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        • I disagree. What women need is firstly to stop believing they're failing if the house isn't perfect and a hot meal is on the table every day. Then, they need to insist that men...(more) 2-21-2020 12:04pm
          pull their weight. Those two things change the picture entirely
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          • ^and I don't agree with "work like a man". No one should be agreeing to 50-60 hr work weeks. Work smart 2-21-2020 12:04pm
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            • The top paying jobs require 100% focus whenever needed and are held mostly by men with minimal household responsibilities. 2-21-2020 12:06pm
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              • Believing this is part of the problem. I'm in one of these industries and it's not actually true. Or if it is in that particular job, find one that maybe pays a bit less but...(more) 2-21-2020 12:10pm
                allows you to come home in the evenings. I think both men and women need to adjust their expectations. Men need to start "family tracking" a bit at work.
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                • It's very hard. My dh is an attorney (not a fancy $$$$ one). The choice is sucking it up or getting fired, or getting a job for 50k with better hours, not enough money for a...(more) 2-21-2020 12:11pm
                  normal good life even though I work too.
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                  • It is hard, of course. But why can't male attorneys take those in-house jobs that attorney moms get? There are possibilities, there is a cost to them though. 2-21-2020 12:12pm
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                    • LOL, he has been trying to get one of those for years!!! 2-21-2020 12:13pm
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                      • I think men feel pressure to be high performers at work, and it's pressure women may not always understand. I think if he really wanted a job like that, he could get it. But prob...(more) 2-21-2020 12:14pm
                        feels like a failure in most cases
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                        • No, I guess you don't work in the field. These jobs are THE most desirable jobs for most lawyers. 2-21-2020 12:15pm
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                          • There's always an option. come on. 2-21-2020 12:16pm
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                            • Yes, it's theoretically a fantastic option HE WANTS. After 15 years as an attorney you get specialized, which means those in house positions will want you if you are a perfect...(more) 2-21-2020 12:20pm
                              fit, and 50 other people who are sick of billable hours want that same job and also are a perfect fit. It is insanely competitive.
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                              • ^and there are maybe 2 of these jobs locally every year. I know this because we both look constantly. Then there are non local jobs, but then you don't have that bar, people...(more) 2-21-2020 12:21pm
                                wonder why you want it...So you don't get it. It's very frustrating and luck plays a part in it.
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                    • Those jobs aren't as interesting and are a compromise for most women. 2-21-2020 12:14pm
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                      • They are great jobs and very hard to get. It's actually upsetting to see this as a suggestion. 2-21-2020 12:14pm
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                        • This is not true. 2-21-2020 12:16pm
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                      • Right. So men should start compromising too. And both stay in the game and benefit from work and home life. We're doing this and it works. 2-21-2020 12:16pm
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                        • ^I mean, if you want a family, that's a compromise. You won't be able to give 100% to work. And vice versa. 2-21-2020 12:17pm
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                        • So give up a $1M dollar job and both spouses work 8-6 for $200,000? 2-21-2020 12:18pm
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                          • Yes! WTF? This s a fine income. We make less than that. 2-21-2020 12:19pm
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                            • ^200 each, meaning. If you don't think you can live on 300k, then that's your problem 2-21-2020 12:20pm
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                              • You can live on 300k, but the other option is a different lifestyle and one parent could stay home with the kids. 2-21-2020 12:22pm
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                                • That's not an ideal for me. I invested a lot in my education. 2-21-2020 12:23pm
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                                  • Were you middle class and now have improved to UMC? 2-21-2020 12:26pm
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                                    • That's accurate, yes. But if I'd married a guy with millions I wouldn't have given up my career. 2-21-2020 12:29pm
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                            • Sure, but it one of you could make over a million and the other could stay home, you would reject the chance? 2-21-2020 12:21pm
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                              • I would, yes. I'm not interested in that. I value my work and would opt for an equal relationship and balance in family life. I would hate never seeing my DH 2-21-2020 12:22pm
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                                • So you can choose less money and more time in the workplace for both of you but not everyone wants that. 2-21-2020 12:23pm
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                                  • I would hate to work 100% of the time and would equally hate to parent 100% of the time. I think people are happier with balance. 2-21-2020 12:24pm
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                                    • Definitely not true of all people. Many wives of biglaw partners or ceos would not want them quit the high paying job so they can work an equal number of hours too. 2-21-2020 12:27pm
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                • If you want to succeed in Biglaw or be a Fortune 500 CEO, you really can't be coming home to do the laundry on a predictable schedule. 2-21-2020 12:13pm
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                  • So why does every man, every DAD need to gun for this? 2-21-2020 12:17pm
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                    • Most men don't, be if you went to a top school, you will know many people who work long hours and many JD and MBA moms who dropped out to raise children. 2-21-2020 12:24pm
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          • My dh literally cannot. He is expected to work ALL the time. He got emails at 6 am, and they don't stop coming even in the night. I work pt because it would not be reasonable for...(more) 2-21-2020 12:05pm
            me to expect much pitching in.
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            • Yes, he can. You might need to reassess your lifestyle, but he can. 2-21-2020 12:06pm
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              • Not sure what that even means. He cannot or he'd lose his job. 2-21-2020 12:07pm
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                • So he needs a different job. Maybe it won't pay as much. DH and I are in an industry known for overtime. Once our kids are born, we drew the line. Could we make more money?...(more) 2-21-2020 12:11pm
                  Sure, but we'd be working 1.5-2 jobs.
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                  • My dh makes much less than you do as is I am sure. 2-21-2020 12:12pm
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                    • I doubt that. I've only cleared 100k for the last 2 years or so. 2-21-2020 12:13pm
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                      • ^but hung in there and earned seniority and flexibility and now around 150, which works for me. And I get home for dinner with DH and kids every night 2-21-2020 12:18pm
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                        • My dh makes that now with his horrible job. 2-21-2020 12:20pm
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                          • Okay, and you? 2-21-2020 12:20pm
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                            • I make 40k, pt. 2-21-2020 12:21pm
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                              • Right, so he scales back, you ramp up. and you still end up at 180-200. What would be wrong with that? 2-21-2020 12:22pm
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                                • ^I mean, if kids are young maybe you wait until they're in school, but still 2-21-2020 12:23pm
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                                • Nothing, not sure how that magically happens though. He has been looking for a long time. It's either the same job same problems, or 50k jobs for him. 2-21-2020 12:24pm
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                                  • Yeah look, I'm not trying to pick on your family. But people think it's impossible in my profession, and guess what, we've found that it's not. But it took some guts and a...(more) 2-21-2020 12:25pm
                                    gamble.
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                                    • I mean... You ARE picking AND assuming. Sounds like you got lucky in addition to trying. We are trying, not sure what else you think we should do. 2-21-2020 12:27pm
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                                      • okay, so it's impossible. You're right. I suspect your DH is not as enamored of scaling back as you think. Yeah, he'd love the perfect in-house job but not the one that makes...(more) 2-21-2020 12:30pm
                                        him feel like he's not fully in the game. I think it's an issue for men and it needs to change.
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                                        • You assume entirely wrong. Our house cost 380k. We have old cars. He HATES his job so much he cries sometimes. You are a colossal bitch. 2-21-2020 12:32pm
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                                          • Then move! I mean, you have to do something! 2-21-2020 12:35pm
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                                            • ^no one should be in that situation. 2-21-2020 12:36pm
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                                              • WE ARE WILLING TO MOVE. WE LOOK CONSTANTLY. HE APPLIES FOR JOBS. 2-21-2020 12:37pm
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              • There is no point in making people with exhausting jobs do their share at home when it can be hired out. 2-21-2020 12:08pm
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            • same. 2-21-2020 12:08pm
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            • Same here. 2-21-2020 12:08pm
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          • A wife knows the job and willingly does it. Insisting a reluctant man do it is exhausting and stressful. 2-21-2020 12:07pm
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            • Willingly, ok, but in my case with lots of resentment 2-21-2020 12:42pm
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        • This is why I fantasize about working after dh retires because he is planning to cook and babysit any grandkids 2-21-2020 12:05pm
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    • I would love to be a sahm. I have been working since babysitting at age 12. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to not work and nest at home to my 2 boys and husband. 2-21-2020 12:13pm
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      • ^but....who would pa all the bills? Mu husband's income doesn't suffice and I am the one with the health insurance. 2-21-2020 12:14pm
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        • ^and I make more money. How I wish my sweet and loving husband would be the bread winner....but this is not the case. 2-21-2020 12:14pm
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    • MIKE 2020 2-21-2020 12:17pm
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    • https://furyvswilder2s.com/...(more) 2-21-2020 3:19pm
      https://furyvswilder2s.com/ https://wildervstysonfury.com/ https://wildervsfuryrematch.com/ https://furyvswilder2s.com/live/ https://furyvswilder2s.com/fight/ https://furyvswilder2s.com/live-stream/ https://wildervstysonfury.com/live/ https://wildervstysonfury.com/fight/ https://wildervstysonfury.com/live-stream/ https://wildervsfuryrematch.com/live/ https://wildervsfuryrematch.com/fight/ https://wildervsfuryrematch.com/live-stream/
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  7. Toddler The true mark of a SAHM, is when they list “made coffee” as one of the things they accomplished this morning. 2-21-2020 9:15am (24 replies)
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    • I LOVED LOVED my sahm years. I miss it. 2-21-2020 9:15am
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      • OP: Me too! But glad to be back at work' Nd definitely couldn’t SAHM with older kids, and feel okay about it. 2-21-2020 9:16am
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        • np i can and have. :) 2-21-2020 9:17am
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        • eh, my job is so fucking boring 2-21-2020 9:17am
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        • I never went back. I hated my job 2-21-2020 9:17am
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          • there are many jobs 2-21-2020 9:56am
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        • well not everyone feels like you do 2-21-2020 9:19am
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    • ok? did you ever get to sahm? 2-21-2020 9:15am
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      • Yes! First five years. 2-21-2020 9:17am
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    • i wrote that! :) 2-21-2020 9:15am
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      • ^^ and i'm leaving for work soon enough. i just don't have an office gig or set hours like some people. 2-21-2020 9:16am
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        • LOL, you weren’t the only one who wrote it! 2-21-2020 9:17am
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          • hey, it's a big deal. there's no day if there's no coffee. there's only unhappiness. 2-21-2020 9:18am
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    • My day is much better when Dh gets up first and makes the coffee. 2-21-2020 9:16am
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    • I woh and that would be one of my morning accomplishments. I bring my coffee to work. 2-21-2020 9:16am
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    • my percolator is on a timer, I drink first cup 5:20am 2-21-2020 9:16am
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    • That is something I accomplished. I WAH. 2-21-2020 9:16am
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      • Ditto. I'm on latte #2. I'll do #3 and then shut down the machine. But I am "working" right now. 2-21-2020 9:17am
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    • And the true mark of an asshole is insulting groups of others for no reason 2-21-2020 9:17am
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    • True mark of a insecure woman is your post. 2-21-2020 9:18am
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    • ok, you're on a message board, so obviously you are not working right now 2-21-2020 9:18am
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    • i wah pt and dh brings me coffee in bed every morning. winning! 2-21-2020 9:20am
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      • the only way I like my coffee---alone and in my kitchen 2-21-2020 9:21am
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        • i'm alone in my bedroom 2-21-2020 9:22am
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  8. Toddler Guys, please sticky this for yourselves: if you're having a conversation on this board about a political candidate, you're probably having it with a professional troll. The board...(more) 2-20-2020 7:27pm (16 replies)
    is SWAMPED. And they must be hiring Americans now, because the syntax and content is light years ahead. But its still troll tactics - introducing fear, uncertainty, and doubt; talking to themselves in point/counterpoint; minimizing/dismissing; inciting nihilism to surpress voting. I beseech you all to have these conversations in your real lives, and save this place for farmtables and granola cupcakes and our cherished WOHM/SAHM wars.
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    • What does it matter if you banter with a troll. Are they going to change anyone’s mind? 2-20-2020 7:28pm
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      • YES. YES YES. If they can blend in its highly effective, even if YOU think you can spot it and ignore it. SHEER EXPOSURE to content and ideas can influence behavior. Please...(more) 2-20-2020 7:30pm
        believe me. You think you aren't being influenced . . . but you are.
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      • I think the really mean racist and sexist comments just wear people down. 2-20-2020 7:32pm
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        • OP - it's not even the extreme comments I'm worried about. I see tactics like posing a "thoughtful question" that is designed to introduce doubt - those are incredibly...(more) 2-20-2020 7:34pm
          transmissable pieces of content.
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    • Thank you! 2-20-2020 7:29pm
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    • On our pathetic little board. 2-20-2020 7:29pm
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      • Our "pathetic little board" has zero anonymity to even a high-school-level hacker, and I'm sure our little workaday chitcat lights up plenty of influential household IP addresses,...(more) 2-20-2020 7:32pm
        or at least addresses in influential and wealthy census tracts.
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    • Stop go asleep yum is not a target for Russian bots 2-20-2020 7:30pm
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    • I agree with you. 2-20-2020 7:30pm
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    • I appreciate this. And I think a lot of us are being sincere. 2-20-2020 7:31pm
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      • ^ But sure, the troll's point is to depress the vote, not change minds. 2-20-2020 7:31pm
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    • I like effing with them. 2-20-2020 7:32pm
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      • Me too but you're probably earning them a bonus payment for engagement. 2-20-2020 7:35pm
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    • ++++...(more) 2-20-2020 7:33pm
      You are so right
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    • Yep, it may be bots posting same crap over and over 2-20-2020 7:36pm
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  9. Toddler What’s a good part time job for a sahm that wants to go back to work? 2-20-2020 3:57pm (11 replies)
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    • aide at local school 2-20-2020 3:58pm
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    • did you have a career before SAHM? 2-20-2020 3:58pm
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    • Whatever you did before. 2-20-2020 3:59pm
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      • It’s that easy? Wow! 2-20-2020 4:00pm
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        • Ok, nursing then. 2-20-2020 4:02pm
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        • You know dumbass, having some idea of her interests and skills is important. 2-20-2020 4:02pm
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    • Substitute teaching if your area doesn't require a teaching degree. Look through your county website on requirements 2-20-2020 4:00pm
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    • What skills does the SAH have? 2-20-2020 4:01pm
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      • she create, grow, and keep humans alive 2-20-2020 4:02pm
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        • Oh good, she can be a human gardener. Great career plan. 2-20-2020 4:05pm
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    • more info, please. what makes it a 'good' job? what hours are you available? what's the minimum amount you want to earn? what are your skills and interests? 2-20-2020 4:09pm
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  10. Toddler I have been a sahm for 10 years. Dh wants me to go back to work. I said I thought this was reasonable and I will see what I can do to work towards a job. I think he thinks some...(more) 2-19-2020 8:54am (90 replies)
    Company is going to hire me for $90k or something. Anyway I also think he thinks it’s surprising I am more of course I will try to work because it seems practical/that’s adult life than I am bored not working. I am not bored not working.
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    • I stopped reading after "DH wants me" 2-19-2020 8:55am
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      • Np: how else should she say it. 2-19-2020 8:56am
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        • Op. Yeah it’s not Dh wants me to wear dresses - he is too stressed as the only working parent 2-19-2020 8:58am
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          • That's fair 2-19-2020 8:58am
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          • It’s a reasonable request of him. 2-19-2020 8:58am
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            • Op. I think it is reasonable as well. 2-19-2020 9:00am
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        • DH and I are discussing both of us becoming wohm parents. or *I* want to go back to work. Or, DH is selfish and doesn't want one of our kids' parents raising them. 2-19-2020 8:59am
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          • Well this is the situation... DH has started bringing it up a lot and he wants me to go back to work. 2-19-2020 9:00am
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            • How old are your kids? 2-19-2020 9:00am
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              • 10 and 14 2-19-2020 9:02am
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                • ^i think he is reasonable. He just doesn’t get that I am perfectly happy not having a career. I got depressed about it when I was first at home and moved on 2-19-2020 9:03am
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                  • Well now you do t really have a career but you can reinvent yourself. I know plenty of women who have. What do you want to do 2-19-2020 9:06am
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                • Holy shit. 2-19-2020 9:08am
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                  • Np. Those kids still need to be fed, driven around, help with HW. 2-19-2020 9:09am
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                    • It’s better to hire someone to do that, according to ybm. 2-19-2020 9:10am
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                      • My kids are similar age and I work PT so I can do these things on the afternoon but it’s not easy to find good PT 2-19-2020 9:12am
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                        • According to ybm it is, and earn 80k at home. 2-19-2020 9:12am
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                          • I don’t earn 80k unfortunately 2-19-2020 9:13am
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                          • No it’s not easy 2-19-2020 9:14am
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                    • and? I was able to get a job where im home by 330 every day. im able to do all of those things you mention and earn an income 2-19-2020 9:11am
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                      • Ditto 2-19-2020 9:12am
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                      • What magical job is that? 2-19-2020 9:13am
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                        • And it’s super easy to get! 2-19-2020 9:14am
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                          • and how awesome to work the second the kids leave for school just to get home in time for them to come home and start the night shift! Why doesn't every one want to do this? 2-19-2020 9:15am
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                            • its not difficult you moron, not for people who know how to effectively manage their time. and as a professional who's been doing this work thing a while, I get five weeks of...(more) 2-19-2020 9:16am
                              vacation time. I take days off pretty frequently. woh is not inherently this harried rat race
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                              • Oh please. You get 5 weeks but your kids get like, 10. 2-19-2020 9:18am
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                                • lol ok, well my dh gets 6 weeks and my children have always gone to camp. somehow this has always worked out. I certainly worked pt at times, I worked at home, I did lots of...(more) 2-19-2020 9:20am
                                  different things but I didn't need to stop working for 10 plus years to raise a family
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                              • Why doesn’t everyone do this? It’s so easy. 2-19-2020 9:18am
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                                • np- I did this. It is the absolute worst of both worlds. Not only do you have the stress of work, and getting out and getting home in time for kids, then, since you are "home"...(more) 2-19-2020 9:20am
                                  early, you get to be the one to cook dinner, help with HW, do laundry, etc etc, so when DH gets home it is all done.
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                              • True- but you’ve been doing it. It’s a change if you’ve been SAH. It’s totally doable but if your DH has been used to not even really thinking about this- there’s going...(more) 2-19-2020 9:21am
                                learning curve
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                                • yes. it is a change. but its not a change that's insurmountable especially if the sole income earner is stressed about being the only person working and is looking for the other...(more) 2-19-2020 9:24am
                                  person to contribute financially. that is a reasonable request imo
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                                  • Totally reasonable. You’re a team. 2-19-2020 9:25am
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                            • I don’t know?! And this magical easy job allows for constant illnesses, vacations, snow days, and commutes to school. It pays enough to cover hiring someone to do all that for me,...(more) 2-19-2020 9:18am
                              And clean the house and make meals.
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                              • And do laundry! And shop for groceries. And deal with the endless plumbing, electrical, appliance, blah blah issues that are always popping up when you own a home. 2-19-2020 9:19am
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                              • well the vast majority of people I know have computers and internet and can wah when their kids are sick or have snow days 2-19-2020 9:19am
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                                • Ok, so why doesn’t everyone have this job. I guess they’re really easy to get. 2-19-2020 9:20am
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                                  • I think maybe we didn't look hard enough? I wonder how much this magic job pays after taxes? I am guessing a lot! 2-19-2020 9:21am
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                                    • I guess so. It seems totally worth my while to work all day to pay someone to do what I’d be doing. But, they’re doing it right. Not me. 2-19-2020 9:22am
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                                      • Yup. I for one, wish I had two jobs instead of one so my DH doesn't have to be bitter doing just his one job. That seems totally fair. 2-19-2020 9:25am
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                                  • easy? no. possible? yes. 2-19-2020 9:21am
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                                • Oh yes, there are so many places that are good with this. lol. 2-19-2020 9:20am
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                    • Bwahahaha. Just stop 2-19-2020 9:12am
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                      • I work PT and do all of that but it’s not easy to get a meaningful PT job 2-19-2020 9:14am
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      • Eh it’s all semantics. Sounds like it was dhs idea and op is willing. Who cares how she worded it 2-19-2020 9:01am
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    • I was wah super part time for a while and that ws the closest I came to ever doing sah. I did that for like 3 years and ill just say, thank god I wasn't out longer because...(more) 2-19-2020 8:56am
      adjusting to go back sucked. an object in motion stays in motion and all that. anyway, I went back ft for like 2 years and then it morphed into like 30 hours a week, mostly from home and that is awesome. gl
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    • What did you do before 2-19-2020 8:57am
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      • Did things - marketing research, sales 2-19-2020 8:58am
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        • If you were in sales you will have an eaiser time. And I say this as someone who was home for 12 years and went back. You know how to market and sell yourself 2-19-2020 8:59am
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          • np: What line of work are you in? 2-19-2020 9:02am
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            • Op. I was terrible with sales. I mainly did the presentations and behind the scenes stuff. It was my worst job. 2-19-2020 9:03am
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            • Wholesale in the fashion industry 2-19-2020 9:04am
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              • You just don't waltz into a job like that. 2-19-2020 9:07am
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                • I didn’t just waltz in. I had 13 years of experience prior and I networked like crazy and I went in making a very low salary and worked my way back up 2-19-2020 9:08am
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    • There is a huge trend with large companies bringing in people who are older, been out of work for whatever reason. Lots of sites that are specifically for these positions....(more) 2-19-2020 8:58am
      Corporations are actively seeking people like this to fill quotas. Got this from head of HR at Turner Broadcasting - friend of mine.
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      • Op. I am on a list but so far it’s for IT and finance jobs 2-19-2020 8:59am
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        • I was an event planner and they said that could be slotted into many departments because of the skills I held. Said it would be no problem getting work 2-19-2020 9:00am
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      • np: What are those sites? I am in OP's position and it seems that being out of work for long is a major roadblock. And I have more than a decade of relevant experience. 2-19-2020 8:59am
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        • I wrote them down - Need to look them up. Sticky this 2-19-2020 9:00am
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          • Please do would really appreciate it! 2-19-2020 9:01am
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            • me too! 2-19-2020 9:14am
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          • Thanks for not posting. 2-20-2020 1:40pm
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      • What sit es? I need them! 2-19-2020 9:32pm
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    • How old are kids? 2-19-2020 8:59am
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    • If you're not into this, it's not going to work. And you know that. 2-19-2020 9:00am
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      • LOL. what fucking adult decided they are "not into" working so just decides that they won't do it? are you joking me? 2-19-2020 9:00am
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        • Did you even read this post? 2-19-2020 9:01am
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          • I did. the op is reasonable. this response is absurd 2-19-2020 9:01am
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        • This post has been disliked 3 times. showAn adult who has the job of taking care of the kids and home?? That adult. SOMEONE has to do it! I hate men who'd prefer a stranger over their own wives. Such fucking wimps. 2-19-2020 9:01am
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          • if she has been out for ten years likely the kids are in school and not at home. im not sure about you but I woh and by the time my kids were ten, it required a part time sitter...(more) 2-19-2020 9:02am
            for two hours a day after school at the MOST, plus camp.
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            • And? So you hire these people. It's not some huge, insurmountable hurdle, come on 2-19-2020 9:03am
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              • correct. its not all that difficult. you dont need to be home watching Ripa all morning and on ybm. and frankly, ill be honest. Im paid a good fucking salary and currently, Im...(more) 2-19-2020 9:05am
                here talking to you all with the tv on in the background while I wait for a call to start. its not 1980 anymore, you can bring in income with some flexibility these days. not everyone, but it is a thing. albeit its a thing that's easier to find if you never opted out but I digress
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              • Np. Everyone in my pretty large circle of educated women who SAH 5-15 years got jobs no problem when the really wanted to get a job and didn’t put up fake hurdles to getting one 2-19-2020 9:06am
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                • Same. 2-19-2020 9:07am
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                • What do you all do that you earn so much? 2-19-2020 9:09am
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                  • im in account management. I dont earn "so much" but I make 80k to complete about 25 hours a week of work, maybe less, and mostly from my living room 2-19-2020 9:10am
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                    • How did you get this job? 2-19-2020 9:11am
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                      • I went back full time from pt work at home. I did that for 2 years, I did it very well. they took me from the position I was in and asked me to take on this role. my entire team...(more) 2-19-2020 9:14am
                        is remote, im efficient and get shit done. im not saying im not fortunate or that there are a million similar positions but there is a lot between sah and traditional 8-5 with a commute
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                  • I don’t know what they all earn. And I know many took jobs that were about $65,000 starting but then they were able to move up pretty quickly once they got back in gear. A big...(more) 2-19-2020 9:11am
                    factor was insurance for many of them.
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                    • Like one friend got a job in our school system that was “only” $45,000 but the insurance was amazing 2-19-2020 9:15am
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        • Op. I am going to look I just think he can’t fathom that I am doing it to be a partner and an adult not because at this point I am bored or care about working 2-19-2020 9:01am
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          • I still think your attitude is all wrong. If you don't care about it, you will fail. And that's your actual plan--to be half-assed about it to prove that you "can't". 2-19-2020 9:03am
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          • I think I get what you’re saying. It’s not about a job at all, not really. It’s about him not knowing this thing about you, that you’re happy doing what you’re doing. 2-19-2020 9:12am
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        • She's going to "see what she can do to work towards a job". Lol. 2-19-2020 9:01am
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          • This. The actual "getting a job" part is the third step in her plan. 2-19-2020 9:04am
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    • My dh feels the same. I actually work a PT job but I know as Dh gets older he’s worried about insurance and if he gets laid off he won’t get rehired. 2-19-2020 9:00am
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      • ^my kids are teens so childcare is not an issue 2-19-2020 9:02am
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      • Hi me! I work OT too, no insurance. My dh is worried about the same. He thinks that if one of us could just get insurance, we would be fine otherwise 2-19-2020 9:05am
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    • Does he understand how this is going to affect his life too? With both spouses working, he will need to step up and do some of the work that you did when you were a SAHM. I see on...(more) 2-19-2020 9:14am
      this site that the requesting spouse imagines more money coming in without any change in his/her own life. I'd suggest managing his expectations.
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      • That was a rude awakening for my dh. He was required to do much at home for 10 years. He didn’t have to worry about getting home by a certain time, or getting a kid to school,...(more) 2-19-2020 9:17am
        or anything about food, doctors appts etc etc
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        • ^ to NOT do much 2-19-2020 9:17am
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  11. Toddler SAHM..kids off school this week-using time to help kids organize rooms, get kids to doc appts, made dinner ..left it out 'buffet' style as I always do for DH because he bitches...(more) 2-18-2020 8:49pm (15 replies)
    like a toddler otherwise (example...don't mix cooked vegetables with my chicken...I don't like XYZ sauce on my food)...today as he is assembling his dinner and putting it in microwave after he got home at 8 pm he starts telling me that I should the one heating up his dinner or having it ready when he walks in the door....I told him to go fuck himself..but he honestly believes I should wait on him when he comes home.
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    • you should have left the room 2-18-2020 8:49pm
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    • accidentally burn it 2-18-2020 8:49pm
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    • that's cute. i'd tell him, boy that's adorable that little story you have in your head. so cute. 2-18-2020 8:49pm
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      • it just floors me that he thinks because I don't 'work a job' that I should be his servant.... 2-18-2020 8:52pm
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        • i don't know how to respond to this, honestly. is he horrible in other ways? 2-18-2020 8:53pm
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        • Is this new behavior? 2-18-2020 8:53pm
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        • Why are you still married to him? 2-18-2020 8:54pm
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        • Sickening 2-18-2020 9:06pm
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    • I thin’ you handled him perfectly 2-18-2020 8:50pm
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    • I don't want other people assembling my food he's a baby 2-18-2020 8:50pm
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    • I would laugh in his face, tell him to fuck off then go out to a movie 2-18-2020 8:51pm
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    • While he shouldn’t say it I’m not surprised that he thinks it 2-18-2020 8:55pm
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    • I’m confused. Isn’t he the one that wants it buffet style so he can prepare it himself? Otherwise I’d probably prepare a plate and put everything else away. I don’t see a big d...(more) 2-18-2020 9:00pm
      With that.
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      • that is so strange to me. how will she know what the baby wants to eat and how he wants to eat it? that's treating a baby like even more of a baby 2-18-2020 9:02pm
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        • Well I mean if he was just a normal person. I’d make dinner for the family and when we were finished I’d set aside some for the person who was arriving late and put the rest away. 2-18-2020 9:14pm
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  12. Toddler I have been a sahm for the last 15 years. Have gone back to school to do a professional course to get me back into the job market. I am pretty proud of the fact that I am holding...(more) 2-17-2020 10:51pm (3 replies)
    my own...and in fact, at times am better than the 30 somethings I am in class with. My brains still work!! :)
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    • that's awesome. what sort of course? I have been off the market, except for some freelance here and there, for 18 yr 2-17-2020 10:53pm
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      • I've posted here before. I'm doing data science. I have a background in Economics and Statistics....and its all coming back to me...all the math derivations I spent my graduate...(more) 2-17-2020 10:55pm
        school days with.
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        • that's awesome!! 2-17-2020 10:56pm
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  13. Toddler This puzzles/irks me...dating: it's ok for married women to stay home, raise kids, do whatever, not work. But if a woman did this, gets divorced then wants to date then what,...(more) 2-17-2020 2:27pm (32 replies)
    she's a loser because she has no career. Yet those same men may be divorced and previously had their ex wife be a sahm. Or what if you have gone back to work but you don't have a great job or career but are doing your best...you get looked down on for that low level job too. Can't win.
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    • Did you have any single female friends when you were married? 2-17-2020 2:29pm
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    • Who is saying she is a loser? 2-17-2020 2:30pm
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    • Surprise, some men prefer to date women who can eat at the same restaurants as them and go on the same trips 2-17-2020 2:30pm
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    • Would you date a divorced man who stayed home? 2-17-2020 2:30pm
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      • OP won't answer, I suspect it's because she wouldn't. I don't think it's awful when people want to date richer people, but it's hilarious when they get rejected and try t...(more) 2-17-2020 2:36pm
        the other party of wrong doing.
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        • fwiw no-one has rejected me, I shy away because I think that's what people would say. and no I would not date a stay at home dad unless he had the money to do that. And I would...(more) 2-17-2020 2:48pm
          not have been a sahm either.
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    • No SAH here ever gets divorced. Impossible scenario. 2-17-2020 2:31pm
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      • not true she just makes sure she gets a ton of money if it happens. so basically don't sah if your dh doe4sn't make a lot of money. 2-17-2020 2:42pm
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    • One of the risks of giving up a career 2-17-2020 2:32pm
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    • It's all a gamble. One that I personally wasn't willing to risk because of previous experience being raised by a single mom. 2-17-2020 2:33pm
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    • It is a risk, and it happens. See: my beautiful friend working at PB 2-17-2020 2:33pm
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      • Do you look down on her? 2-17-2020 2:34pm
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        • No, I pity her. She had a cushy life with her kids and then her DH walked out, whirlwind divorce and remarriage and before she could open her eyes the house was gone, she was...(more) 2-17-2020 2:38pm
          living in an apartment, working retail and struggling. She had an MBA at 26 and 30 years later its hard to put that to use.
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          • I would not want friends pitying me. You sound glad. 2-17-2020 2:39pm
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            • I distintly used the word pity. I am not glad. I do not look down on her. I truly feel sorry for how disoriented she is right now. 2-17-2020 2:39pm
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      • op-this is what I mean. I am objectively very beautiful, fit, thin, very nice and kind and sweet and fun and lovely overall. But ex fucked off a long time ago and I raised kids on...(more) 2-17-2020 2:36pm
        my own and never was able to build a real career. Still provided well for them but was a struggle in many ways of course and I work but don't do that well and it's not secure and I have no passion for my job. Men hit on me and want to fuck me but my own insecurities keep me from dating anyone really great, my semi serious boyfriends are nice but nothing special. So is it me and my worries of what men think of me or do men not really care especially when older?
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        • OR: Men do not care!!!!! You think they do because YOU care so much what they do. 2-17-2020 2:38pm
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          • No I don't! I mean I don't want to date a construction worker who makes 40k a year but no, it's my insecurities. I feel like a loser. 2-17-2020 2:40pm
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            • Mmm, I would go back and unpack that statement. You clearly do care, there are plenty of good guys making 40k. working hard every day. 2-17-2020 2:41pm
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              • ok maybe I do.double standard sure. but if I hadn't been a struggling single mom I doubt I'd be here in my career. I would have been able to go to school, follow my dreams, move...(more) 2-17-2020 2:43pm
                anywhere, do anything. it'snot my kids fault but it is in huge part because of that. so if a man is still in a 40k a year job at 45/50 years old that seems much worse.
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            • Oof, an unemployed divorced mom who thinks she's too good for people who make 40k 2-17-2020 2:42pm
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              • unemployed? who said that? I work my ass off and make 80k. but it's shitty and has no future or stability. and is soul crushing. and based on COL I have almost no savings. it's...(more) 2-17-2020 2:44pm
                been very hard.
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                • So you made shitty choices. Own it and stop bitching about men who rightfully reject you, just as you reject men who make less. 2-17-2020 2:45pm
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                  • to raise my kids well and give them everything they need and live in a nice area? that's bad choices? you're right, I should have lived in a shack in the slums so I could work all...(more) 2-17-2020 2:47pm
                    day and then go to night school...they would have had such a wonderful life
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                    • Then shouldn't you view that as a fair trade? So millionares don't want you, not everyone gets everything they want. 2-17-2020 2:48pm
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                      • I never said I wanted a millionaire. Jesus. this place is such a waste of space. 2-17-2020 2:50pm
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          • this, they dont care about your work. Also, there is no such thing as objectively beautiful and IME the women who cleave the most to this arent usually all that great looking 2-17-2020 2:41pm
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            • no such thing? how is that possible. maybe 100 men in a poll wouldn't find me their type but 90 of them would say I am attractive/good looking 2-17-2020 2:45pm
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    • my sah friend with 3 dc had no trouble dating after her divorce. She's very attractive and fun. Guys love her 2-17-2020 2:36pm
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      • Np rich men would not care. This is a weird post tearing down sahms again. 2-17-2020 2:38pm
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        • no its not at all. that's not what it meant 2-17-2020 2:40pm
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          • Of course it is. Incidentally I know many older women who are married, work retail, not doing great financially. People do the best they can with the situation they have. Life...(more) 2-17-2020 2:43pm
            Often doesnlt go as planned.
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  14. Toddler If you have an inheritance but are SAHM and divorce, is that inheritance factored into how much chid support etc you get? 2-17-2020 1:37pm (13 replies)
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    • the income generated from the inheritance is considered for purposes of support 2-17-2020 1:38pm
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    • Not child support 2-17-2020 1:38pm
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    • I would think your income from all sources is counted 2-17-2020 1:39pm
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    • And that's what it's all about, ladies! Gaming the child support 2-17-2020 1:39pm
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      • ? 2-17-2020 1:40pm
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      • What’s the game again 2-17-2020 1:40pm
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      • everyone games everything 2-17-2020 1:40pm
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        • What is the game here 2-17-2020 1:41pm
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          • I think he is calling the law a game? 2-17-2020 1:41pm
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      • Wtffff 2-17-2020 1:41pm
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      • op: dont worry, I dont even have an inheritance. 2-17-2020 1:41pm
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    • the bulk isn't common property, but income would count as you part of your income for CS 2-17-2020 1:40pm
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    • not in MN. and df's xh is PISSED about it. 2-17-2020 1:42pm
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  15. Toddler I don’t think being a Sahm counts as retirement unless you and dh are both living off your savings and investments. I find it strange that anyone would think it just means...(more) 2-16-2020 5:04pm (15 replies)
    quitting your job.
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    • What? 2-16-2020 5:06pm
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      • Move on. 2-16-2020 5:08pm
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      • ESL?? 2-16-2020 5:08pm
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        • No, the post isn’t clear. 2-16-2020 5:08pm
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    • That poster just wants to feel special/accomplished. It's probably rare for her to get to act like she's accomplished. 2-16-2020 5:07pm
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    • I agree. 2-16-2020 5:09pm
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    • What if dh retires at 50 and I work until 54. Did he retire? 2-16-2020 5:12pm
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      • That is closer to retirement than someone quitting at 35 and husband works until 65 2-16-2020 5:13pm
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        • So if you worked and you stopped before your spouse did, it’s retirement. There’s no minimum age or grown kid requirement 2-16-2020 5:21pm
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    • Agree 2-16-2020 5:12pm
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    • Oh stop already 2-16-2020 5:22pm
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    • I agree 2-16-2020 5:22pm
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    • I know people who retired when they came into an inheritance 2-16-2020 5:22pm
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    • yeah, that's weird 2-16-2020 5:24pm
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  16. Toddler Anecdotal observation: my sahm friends are more frequently late than my wohm friends. less practice with time management? 2-16-2020 1:22pm (11 replies)
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    • Yes 2-16-2020 1:23pm
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      • op: trying to be patient, but i have LOTS to do this afternoon and this particular friend always keeps me waiting. 2-16-2020 1:24pm
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        • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2020 1:29pm
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    • This post has been deleted. 2-16-2020 1:24pm
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    • to me its a chicken or the egg thing. are they out of practice or were they lackadaisical types who aren't cut out to be professional successes anyway 2-16-2020 1:24pm
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    • IMO, the richer the friend, the more often they are late. 2-16-2020 1:25pm
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    • I am trying to decide if that’s true for my group. I don’t think so. I know now that I am working full time I am so much more likely to be late for things bc of traffic. I don’t...(more) 2-16-2020 1:28pm
      have the luxury of padding my travel time because I have to drive home to pick up dc and then drive them to whatever activity. When I was a sahm, I was an “arrive 10 min early” person. Now I’m a “we’ll get there whenever humanly possible” person
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    • Really doubt that. I’m always in time, religiously regardless of work status 2-16-2020 1:28pm
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    • I find the opposite - a lot of my WOHM friends are really pulled in too many directions and overcommit - so they are often late 2-16-2020 1:28pm
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    • Chronically late people are selfish. It doesn’t matter if they sah or woh. 2-16-2020 1:31pm
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  17. Toddler You're a sahm who is a reasonably good home cook. an acquaintance ask if you'll cook food for her family. four nights a week, two adults, one or two teens, depending on the...(more) 2-16-2020 11:09am (43 replies)
    night. food has to be dropped off by 5pm and easy to reheat. would you do this and how much would you charge?
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    • no effing way 2-16-2020 11:09am
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    • no way. are you looking for a hassle? 2-16-2020 11:10am
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    • food + $25-30 day for cooking 2-16-2020 11:10am
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      • np - that's going to work out to $10 an hour. NFW. 2-16-2020 11:13am
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      • no 2-16-2020 11:14am
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    • Are you shopping for groceries? You need to base on hourly rate. I would suspect $30/hour fair 2-16-2020 11:10am
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      • yes, including the shopping. i kind of like the idea because it'll force me to make better food for m y own family. 2-16-2020 11:14am
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        • Can you find out via indeed or other site going rate for chef or personal chef. I think it’s great idea. You might be able to nurture future business 2-16-2020 11:15am
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          • op: thanks, good idea. 2-16-2020 11:17am
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    • you have asked this before 2-16-2020 11:10am
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      • Np: why do you need to identify this information? It only proves you are here at same time as OP 2-16-2020 11:12am
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        • it just seems so odd 2-16-2020 11:12am
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          • odd is constantly berating someone for reposting. move along 2-16-2020 11:13am
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            • constantly berating? i was just observing 2-16-2020 11:14am
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      • no, not me. 2-16-2020 11:13am
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    • absolutely not unless i was broke 2-16-2020 11:12am
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    • I can’t think of anything I’d hate more 2-16-2020 11:13am
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    • No way, I'm not the help 2-16-2020 11:13am
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    • Do you like to cook, and are you looking for a part-time job? Then do it. 2-16-2020 11:13am
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      • op: yes, i like to cook. but i get lazy about it and i like the idea of something forcing me to cook better. 2-16-2020 11:14am
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    • Sure. Id cook double batch of whatever I’m making my family. Charge $12 per serving 2-16-2020 11:13am
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      • op: this is what i'm thinking. my family would benefit because i'd be making nicer meals. and to make double really isn't twice as much work. 2-16-2020 11:15am
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        • I agree. Isnt twice as much shopping either. Yoyre going shopping for your fam. Pkus by making double you can capitalize on the buy one get one sales 2-16-2020 11:17am
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    • I would not do this. it will grow old quickly. 4 days a week? these people need a private chef to go to their home and do this for them. 2-16-2020 11:15am
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      • op: it's from now until the end of this school year. four to five months. 2-16-2020 11:16am
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        • ^^poster from above. If you are a SAHM and you have the time. And you like cooking i dont see why you wouldnt give ut a try. Sounds like an ipportunity 2-16-2020 11:18am
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          • op; maybe i'll try it for one month and see how it goes. 2-16-2020 11:20am
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            • I think the hardest part would be coming up with meals that are easiky regeated....(more) 2-16-2020 11:23am
              Oh and dont forget the initial cost of buying the transport materials extra pyrex Etc i would pack in plastic just glass pyrex so they can heat in those dishes
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              • ^^wouldnt pack in plastic 2-16-2020 11:23am
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        • this sounds onerous. 2-16-2020 11:19am
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    • I wouldnt want to work for someone who has the adacity to request this. 2-16-2020 11:17am
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      • op: it didn't quite happen like that. i was talking to a mutual friend who said that this other woman's job hours changed and she might need more help around the house and what...(more) 2-16-2020 11:18am
        she really needs is the meals, not childcare.
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        • Np: I follow someone on FB who cooks and delivers meals. Let me check her prices 2-16-2020 11:20am
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          • We are in a mid-sized southern city. This week she is selling Greek Chicken Orzo Salad: 4 servings for $25; 8 servings for $45. Creamy black bean enchiladas: 4 for $25, 6 for $35....(more) 2-16-2020 11:23am
            Ground turkey casserole: small for $25, large for $45 (doesn’t say how many servings) Carmelized onion and spinach quiche muffins: 12 for $20
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            • ^basically most of her stuff is $25-35 if it feeds 4 and $45-50 if it feeds 6 or 8. I haven’t ordered so not sure how large each serving is. 2-16-2020 11:25am
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      • Audacity? She made a request with offer to compensate from someone whose cooking she admres and from someone who likes cooking. How is that audacity? 2-16-2020 11:21am
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    • I pay 2 chefs $125/hr to come cook a bunch of proteins and freeze them. You can of course make for your family and double but you should charge way more 2-16-2020 11:18am
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      • 125 each or 125 total? and food is not included, right? 2-16-2020 11:19am
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    • NFW 2-16-2020 11:21am
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    • Have you asked if one person is gluten free, another vegetarian and the third doesn't like dairy in things? Because complex dietary restrictions are going to be problem,...(more) 2-16-2020 11:28am
      especially if you want to make things for your own family and likes/dislikes don't match up.
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    • No way 2-16-2020 11:31am
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    • A million dollars 2-16-2020 12:04pm
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  18. Toddler Dh is unemployed and I had been a SAHM for a while. I wish we could go live abroad for 12 months tarting in August and come back to our house but I think at 50 it would be hard...(more) 2-14-2020 10:04am (15 replies)
    For him to get a new job and it wouldn’t end well.
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    • you think countries just let non citizens come and work at will? 2-14-2020 10:04am
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      • This post has been deleted. 2-14-2020 10:05am
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        • ^i meant travel for a year/take off and get a job when he gets back 2-14-2020 10:05am
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          • how to pay for that with no income 2-14-2020 10:05am
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            • she said they have savings 2-14-2020 10:06am
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              • jeez that's unwise to spend savings on a big trip with zero income and no prospects yet! i couldnt do it 2-14-2020 10:06am
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                • Op. We have savings. It would be fine. It’s the future income that’s an issue. We wouldn’t spend cray money. 2-14-2020 10:09am
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                  • if you are worried about future income then the savings should be preserved as much as possible 2-14-2020 10:10am
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      • who hurt you? 2-14-2020 10:05am
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      • Some actually do. 2-14-2020 10:10am
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    • Unless you don't need to work again it is risky because finding new job will be harder after a year. 2-14-2020 10:06am
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      • Op. Yes. That is what I am saying :( 2-14-2020 10:08am
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        • and you will be blowing savings on top of it. i would worry about that 2-14-2020 10:09am
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        • The job market is very different at that age unfortunately. 2-14-2020 10:10am
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    • Wow, you sure are an optimist, You don't work, your DH is 50 and you want to run off on vacation. You are either crazy or lucky. 2-14-2020 10:14am
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  19. Toddler I am a SAHM. I work PT out of my home. My husband doesn't make a ton but he works very long hours. This is all what I chose and I love my kids beyond belief, however I am...(more) 2-13-2020 10:54pm (10 replies)
    totally drained at the end of every day and beating myself up for not doing more and being more efficient. Go ahead and flame me for being so pathetic.
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    • stop comparing yourself to other people here. 2-13-2020 10:55pm
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    • sounds normal 2-13-2020 10:55pm
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    • Being with your kids is the most important thing. 2-13-2020 10:56pm
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    • If you work PT, I don’t think you are a SAHM. I don’t doubt you are drained at the end of the day. Is there something you want help about? 2-13-2020 10:56pm
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      • not really, but I just wish I didn't lie in bed every night at this time with my laptop and chocolates, feeling like I suck. 2-13-2020 10:57pm
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        • Maybe you just need some more sleep. 2-13-2020 10:58pm
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          • definitely but I already go to bed early (I'm not on the east coast) and have to get up very early so I don't know where the sleep would come from. 2-13-2020 10:59pm
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            • Do you get outside and walk during the day? I definitely think your body has a physical need thst isn’t being met. There is no reason you should feel bad or guilty for being tired...(more) 2-13-2020 11:00pm
              At the end of the day. Something else is going on.
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        • you don't suck. you're a great mom. 2-13-2020 11:00pm
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    • No flames. I want to help. 2-13-2020 11:06pm
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  20. Toddler My friend says she knows a woman whose a SAHM and does all the finances for her dh. What he doesn’t know is his money doesn’t come close to funding their lifestyle and she...(more) 2-13-2020 5:29pm (8 replies)
    supplements his income by being a secret sex worker
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    • You told us already. 2-13-2020 5:29pm
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    • I know this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy 2-13-2020 5:30pm
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    • Uh huh. School must be out. I'm a SAHM who does all our finances. Wish DH made less I could be living the life. 2-13-2020 5:30pm
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    • So a kind of trad wife... 2-13-2020 5:31pm
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    • what does he do that he has no idea what his salary can afford? weird 2-13-2020 5:32pm
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      • It’s like eating sausage and not knowing how the sausage gets made in the factory. 2-13-2020 5:33pm
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  21. Toddler My friend says she knows a woman whose a SAHM and does all the finances for her dh. What he doesn’t know is his money doesn’t come close to funding their lifestyle and she...(more) 2-13-2020 1:00am (0 replies)
    supplements his income by being a secret sex worker
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  22. Toddler I used to sense that some men were bitter towards me for being a sahm and incels prove that I was right. 2-12-2020 5:21pm (20 replies)
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    • why would random men be bitter that you aren't working for pay 2-12-2020 5:22pm
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      • Those men hate women and hate the idea that some other man wants to care for his wife in that way. 2-12-2020 5:23pm
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        • what men 2-12-2020 5:23pm
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          • Incels 2-12-2020 5:23pm
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            • i thougth they were bittter that no one likes them. 2-12-2020 5:24pm
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              • They are extra bitter against women. 2-12-2020 5:24pm
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        • care for his wife? its usually an arrangment out of pracitcality 2-12-2020 5:23pm
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          • Care for his wife in that way. It's not the only way. 2-12-2020 5:24pm
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            • i really dont know what you are trying to say. i was home a bit to look after kids 2-12-2020 5:25pm
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              • I am talking about a certain group of men. 2-12-2020 5:25pm
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        • I imagine they didn't think about you at all. 2-12-2020 5:28pm
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    • Some people in general get cranky that other people don't go to an office every day. I WAH and I still get weird "must be nice" comments. Mainly from women. 2-12-2020 5:25pm
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      • I can see that. 2-12-2020 5:25pm
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    • They figured a way around it though. They put on a dress and call themselves women. 2-12-2020 5:32pm
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    • Your fake fight starting posts were better this morning. Are you suffering from fatigue? 2-12-2020 5:33pm
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  23. Toddler If you sahm when first dc was born, how much help did you have first year? 2-11-2020 4:41pm (23 replies)
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    • Does daycare count? That’s it. 2-11-2020 4:42pm
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    • a lot because dc was in grad school 2-11-2020 4:42pm
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    • 0 2-11-2020 4:42pm
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    • I had twins, none. 2-11-2020 4:42pm
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      • How did you do it? Did you have a routine that you followed and it help? Where were you living? 2-11-2020 4:46pm
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        • I had no choice but to do it! Yes, very strict routine when it came to everything from naps to feedings. 2-11-2020 4:47pm
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          • Good for you! Were in the city or suburbs? 2-11-2020 4:48pm
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            • A city (not nyc), apartment but nice park nearby. That really helped once they could walk, we were out a lot. 2-11-2020 4:49pm
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              • Park is a great perk to have 2-11-2020 4:54pm
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    • just me 2-11-2020 4:42pm
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    • None really. I had no cleaning help or babysitter then. My mom came 1x a week and my i laws stayed for three weeks to “help” which was tiring. 2-11-2020 4:43pm
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      • ^now they are old and I have cleaning help 2-11-2020 4:43pm
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    • First dc I was home for the first 8mos, I had a night nurse for the first 2 weeks and then like 5 hours/wk of childcare and I was LOSING MY MIND. I needed a lot more help, but I...(more) 2-11-2020 4:43pm
      have zero family nearby and didn't really know anyone else with kids at that point.
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    • A few of times my in-laws watched the baby while I went to a doctor’s appointment and we attended two weddings (local). 2-11-2020 4:43pm
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    • very little. I think I had a a sitter for. a few hours on a Friday when he was 6 mos 2-11-2020 4:43pm
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      • ^^and gym daycare 2-11-2020 4:43pm
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    • 0 2-11-2020 4:43pm
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    • Babysitter for weekend nights and about 10- 12 hours during the week. And a cleaning person. 2-11-2020 4:43pm
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    • none, no family in town, no babysitters, etc. No baby nurse, just me. It was awesome and horrible 2-11-2020 4:44pm
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      • Ditto. I had dh but his involvement was so minimal 2-11-2020 4:44pm
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        • well yeah, they have to function 2-11-2020 4:45pm
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    • A cleaning lady and a babysitter 2-11-2020 4:46pm
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  24. Toddler Do you think I can get a job as a medical receptionist after SAHM? Past experience in corporate marketing. 2-11-2020 4:16pm (56 replies)
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    • aim higher 2-11-2020 4:16pm
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      • like what? there's not much in my area. 2-11-2020 4:17pm
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        • something that requires a college degree and your your prior experience 2-11-2020 4:18pm
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      • This post has been disliked 3 times. showWhy should she? 2-11-2020 4:18pm
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      • Maybe she wants to do that. Easy, you don’t take your work home, no stress 2-11-2020 4:19pm
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        • and you use none of your mind and are bored out of your skull. Fun! 2-11-2020 4:20pm
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          • so corporate marketing is a better use of your mind? lol 2-11-2020 4:21pm
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            • Corporate marketing is not at all easy to jump back in after a break. BTDT. 2-11-2020 4:22pm
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          • For some people it’s just good to be out of the house and talking to people, not everyone is you 2-11-2020 4:21pm
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            • she will be insanely bored. You think it sounds like a break and easy work but it is harder bc you are not living to your potential 2-11-2020 4:22pm
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              • More bored than doing anything? Run an office well is not at all easy, so many are poorly run. 2-11-2020 4:23pm
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              • Not everyone feels the same way as you. Some people actually enjoy the monotony 2-11-2020 4:23pm
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                • Monotony? How often do you go to the doctor? It is not monotonous at all. People are nuts, you have to manage a lot of crap. 2-11-2020 4:25pm
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          • So what? What are you doing at work right now? Ybm’ing? You do everyday you shit 2-11-2020 4:21pm
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      • It is very hard if she has been out for a while. I am in the same boat. 2-11-2020 4:20pm
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        • no it is not. If you have good experience and were a knowledgable employee, it is not hard to reenter. You don't have to start back as a receptionist. Plenty of women get much...(more) 2-11-2020 4:21pm
          better entry jobs than this
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          • Like what? Please tell me as I am trying right now. 2-11-2020 4:23pm
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    • I would think so. The big hospital in my city runs an in-house temp agency and it is a good on ramp for things like that. 2-11-2020 4:16pm
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    • Why would you want to do this? 2-11-2020 4:17pm
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      • to get out of the house 2-11-2020 4:17pm
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        • Let someone who needs the job have it 2-11-2020 4:18pm
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          • np unemployment is almost zero right now 2-11-2020 4:18pm
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          • They need better jobs than that 2-11-2020 4:19pm
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        • How old would you be? Can't you "get out of the house" by volunteering at a non-profit? 2-11-2020 4:18pm
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          • JFC 2-11-2020 4:19pm
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            • WTF? 2-11-2020 4:20pm
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              • She is too old for this job??? She does not deserve to work for pay, she should just volunteer? 2-11-2020 4:21pm
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                • Where did I write "she is too old for this job"? I would love for you to point out where I wrote that 2-11-2020 4:26pm
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          • np: It is not the same thing at all. And a lot of volunteer gigs like that are not satisfying at all. 2-11-2020 4:21pm
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            • I would think that helping a non-profit with a casue you believe in, whether it's educational or environmental or arts or athletics or gardening, would be much more satisfying for...(more) 2-11-2020 4:27pm
              a person if you don't need the money
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              • Do you volunteer? It is a lot of bullshit to deal with more often than not. 2-11-2020 4:28pm
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                • No because I work 40+ hours a week. However, I know many people who were SAHMs who now volunteer and get a lot of happiness through their work 2-11-2020 4:31pm
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                  • Yeah no. 2-11-2020 4:33pm
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                    • What does "yeah no" mean? 2-11-2020 4:35pm
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    • You would be surprised 2-11-2020 4:17pm
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    • Only if you know someone. 2-11-2020 4:18pm
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      • ? 2-11-2020 4:18pm
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        • At least here in NYC they hire people they know by and large. 2-11-2020 4:19pm
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      • This, dh will get me this job soon. 2-11-2020 4:20pm
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        • so sad that you guys are resorting to answering phones 2-11-2020 4:20pm
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          • Why, it’s just something to be around people? 2-11-2020 4:21pm
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            • ugh. A college educated woman with good experience answering phones....that is sad 2-11-2020 4:21pm
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              • I’m not op. I have a degree but I don’t have good experience. 2-11-2020 4:22pm
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              • np: The job is more that that, and there are college educated women doing it already. 2-11-2020 4:22pm
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              • Any type of work is work asshole. As she sits on a message board all day long at work!! Lol 2-11-2020 4:24pm
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              • Get off ybm and get back to your job 2-11-2020 4:25pm
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              • Np: I am a college educated women with not a lot of work experience, about 4 years before I became a sahm. It’s not easy to go back. I’d take a reception job if it was offered to...(more) 2-11-2020 4:26pm
                Me and move up eventually if I could.
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                • Don’t listen to this asshole who sits on ybm and robs her company of productivity every single day 2-11-2020 4:27pm
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                  • ^^ THAT IS SAD 2-11-2020 4:28pm
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                  • :) 2-11-2020 4:28pm
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          • They do a lot more than that these days. 2-11-2020 4:21pm
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    • it's harder than you think -- i wanted to get a job at a high-end car dealership and every single one wanted me to be bilingual! 2-11-2020 4:18pm
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      • yes, that's what i suspect 2-11-2020 4:19pm
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    • being a SAHM does no relegate you to entry level work from now on 2-11-2020 4:23pm
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      • NP: not at all but jumping back in after a long break you often need to start lower 2-11-2020 4:24pm
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    • Jeez - are there really that many receptionists on ybm right now? 2-11-2020 4:36pm
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  25. Toddler One of my sisters is SAHM and all of her kids are grown. The other works, but again her kids are grown. They both work out every day. I have young kids and its all I can do to...(more) 2-11-2020 3:54pm (14 replies)
    work, cook dinner, homework, laundry, collapse, rinse, repeat. I know they judge me.
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    • ^by grown I mean they are either in or recently graduated from college. 2-11-2020 3:54pm
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      • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 2-11-2020 3:55pm
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    • my sister is my bff and she works out 6 days a week and i havent worked out since 1991. i know she does not care 2-11-2020 3:55pm
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      • OP - well, I am the fat sister. 2-11-2020 3:55pm
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        • my sister and i are the same size, both size 6 roughly 2-11-2020 3:56pm
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        • That's more about what you eat than working out, but that said, do what you can do when you can do it. 2-11-2020 3:57pm
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    • why do you think they judge you? 2-11-2020 3:55pm
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      • "So when do you work out?" They know I dont. "Have you tried Pilates?" Ugh, no 2-11-2020 3:57pm
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        • they're projecting their insecurities. they're jealous of you. don't take the bait. 2-11-2020 3:59pm
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    • Did the one who works workout everyday when her kids were young? 2-11-2020 3:55pm
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    • why would they judge you? 2-11-2020 3:56pm
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    • Sounds like you just have a tough relationship. I am sorry, that sucks. 2-11-2020 3:58pm
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    • Some people forget so quickly how time consuming it can be to have young kids. And many, many people remember themselves as better parents than they were so feel free to judge...(more) 2-11-2020 4:02pm
      others.
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    • No they don't. 2-11-2020 4:06pm
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