Special Needs

  1. Special Needs Ds who has spd and ADHD and hates loud noises to the point where he flips out and has panic attacks is at overnight camp. We were able to take younger ds to see the fire works at...(more) 3 hr 57 min ago (3 replies)
    the park and we had such a nice time. Normally one of us has to stay home or we don't go and just watch a Capitol fourth. I feel bad for even feeling that way.
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    • Don't feel guilty that everyone in the family is happy - it takes different things to make that happen for each of your kids. 3 hr 54 min ago
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    • Exact same situation here- I make it a point to send ds to camp or grandma's on 4th of July so the rest of us can enjoy the fireworks 3 hr 51 min ago
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      • And this ds is not my sn kid! 3 hr 47 min ago
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  2. Special Needs Dc has trouble with frustration and also gets jealous, would cbt help 4 hr 5 min ago (4 replies)
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    • Isn't it like this with all kids? 4 hr ago
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      • Not sure, I hugged my friends dc goodbye and he said you don't love me, you don't hug me 3 hr 59 min ago
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        • Then hug him and reassure him. 3 hr 56 min ago
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    • One of the things my DC works on in CBT is personalizing. So yes that could be something worth investigating. 3 hr 53 min ago
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  3. Special Needs My 12 yo ds has ADHD plus some symptoms of what is associated with Aspergers, though no formal diagnosis. My NT 10 yo is forever pissed off that his older brother has no interest...(more) 15 hr 22 min ago (16 replies)
    in him and is so rigid/inflexible. He is very hurt by this and can't figure out why his brother is so disinterested in him. He is angry at dh and me for this. How do I help him? I have tried to come up with activities both boys enjoy but the truth is, they are very different personality wise and my younger ds isn't willing to play computer games or do Minecraft, which my older ds loves. I have tried to allow them special treat (i.e. here's $10 -- bike to the bakery and you can have a treat together) but it's hit or miss. Half the time they get into a fight on the way. Older ds sees a CBT. Should younger ds see someone too? I don't know what to do.
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    • it might help him. 15 hr 22 min ago
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    • Can't your older ds just not be an asshole? I didn't always want to hang out with my little sister when I was his age but my parents made me. 15 hr 20 min ago
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      • are you a SN parent? 15 hr 17 min ago
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        • No 15 hr 17 min ago
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          • then leave, please. 15 hr 16 min ago
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      • Np. Marry me. 15 hr 11 min ago
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    • Have you discussed the older ds's dx with your younger ds? It might help him understand that it is harder for older ds to be flexible than your average kid 15 hr 17 min ago
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      • we have discussed the adhd diagnosis but younger ds still doesn't get it. I don't blame him for that, sometimes I don't get it either. It is hard to tease out what is a genuine...(more) 15 hr 14 min ago
        disability and what is just being a grumpy older brother. Younger ds told me today that he thinks his brother knows what's right and wrong and is just choosing to do the wrong thing.
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        • ^^I will also add that I think younger ds is pretty inflexible with his brother too. It goes both ways. 15 hr 12 min ago
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          • One of the messages to send is "everyone has things that are easier for them and harder for them." Talk to younger ds about some things that are hard for him. Then you can draw a...(more) 4 hr 44 min ago
            parallel to the fact that while older ds may know what's okay and what's not, one of the things he has a harder time with is impulse control, taking others' perspectives, flexibility. You can also talk about some stuff that comes harder for you as well. Then #2 can hopefully personalize it less, and see it more as regular human behavior that we all struggle with, and his brother's struggles probably make him grumpier to deal with too.
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    • We have experiemented with having my ADHD daughter and NT (younger) son see the same therapist. It seems to help DS figure out how to manage his sister but also not get so...(more) 15 hr 17 min ago
      frustrated with her
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      • we'll do that then. I think the therapist is game. 15 hr 13 min ago
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    • I would do a new eval & confirm it's not asperger's. There's some overlap & I know kids misdiagnosed with ADHD when it was AS 0 makes a difference in terms of why DCs does thing...(more) 15 hr 10 min ago
      & how to help DC
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      • ITA, my ds is one of those Aspies first mis-dxed as ADHD. 10 hr 45 min ago
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        • what age was he rediagnosed and how did it help? 10 hr 43 min ago
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          • 7. Made a big difference re: which meds worked how for him, and got his interventions re: social skills, pragmatic a and sensory much more on track. Much better cooperation and...(more) 10 hr 38 min ago
            less frustration from school staff with correct dx.
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  4. Special Needs Typically developing children!! they are everywhere. street fairs, 4th of july partirs, eyc, sn moms how do you deal? 7-3-2015 8:33pm (11 replies)
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    • i dont. i just dont look 7-3-2015 9:03pm
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    • I don't think about it anymore. My ds has his own charms. 7-3-2015 9:07pm
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    • I ignore. 7-3-2015 9:17pm
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    • I ignore too. 7-3-2015 9:35pm
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    • Try to ignore, ANC then tell myself nothing is ever as perfect as it looks. 7-3-2015 9:53pm
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    • I feel envious of people whose lives with children the ages of mine are not so restricted, but that is more among people I know well than strangers on the street. 7-3-2015 10:24pm
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    • FS is technically SN (has IEP, goes to SN preschool) but he looked like all the other kids running around for the 4th. I just don't think of him as SN, but needing a little extra...(more) 23 hr 52 min ago
      Support.
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    • The worst is Facebook. If someone keeps bragging about all the accomplishments of their nt kids the same age as dd, i feel awful even though I know I shouldn't 15 hr 15 min ago
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      • Just do what those other people do: make up a few. Say he's reading Finnegan's Wake or something. 15 hr 14 min ago
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        • Not everything is as it appears--plenty of issues with NT kids! 3 hr 35 min ago
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  5. Special Needs God. I know I'm losing my mind when I'm worrying and feeling bad that a friend's dc got into a "better" sn school than my dc did. Uggggh. 7-3-2015 8:28am (18 replies)
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    • yes, you are. I'm sorry, though. how old? 7-3-2015 8:29am
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      • 8 7-3-2015 8:31am
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        • moving from mainstream? 7-3-2015 8:32am
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          • yes. and it was very last minute. i realize we are fortunate to have found an appropriate placement at all. just beating myself up, my sport of choice. 7-3-2015 8:51am
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            • congratulations to you for doing the right thing for your child. Is this like a Windward vs Churchill situation? There's no better. There's only happier and more successful on...(more) 7-3-2015 10:58am
              all fronts out of mainstream.
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              • no, not splitting hairs between schools at that level. it's between schools that are starry and only language based ld vs schools that deal with behavioral/social/emotional. and...(more) 7-3-2015 11:18am
                we all know anything behavioral is the lowest rung on the sn ladder, or so it seems. and i feel confident we are doing the right thing for this particular kid. but it still suckes to feel looked down on even in the sn world.
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                • Is anyone looking down on you? Where is it coming from? 7-3-2015 11:39am
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                • i guess i'm the last to know that "anything behavioral is the lowest run on the sn ladder"...(more) 7-3-2015 12:04pm
                  i had no idea there was a ladder at all
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                  • - no subject -...(more) 7-3-2015 11:39pm
                    There definitely is a latter. Some SN parents have to make themselves feel like their kids are "almost mainstreamed" or "not that bad" the kids with ED tend to get the worse rep. It's sad really. It's hard enough to have your kids struggle and then you have to kill yourself to find a place to not be judged.
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                • Wait, who's looking down on you? You didn't say the friend said anything to you. Also, let's be clear, your kid who is 8 has been in mainstream for the past 3 or however many...(more) 7-3-2015 4:14pm
                  years.
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                • If a child has behavioral issues that child is not appropriate for a SN school that will not address his or her issues. The child won't get the help s/he needs. 7-4-2015 12:45am
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                • So untrue. For example Summit which does deal with behavioral and social issues had three National Merit Finalists a few years ago. I doubt the LD schools have ever had that many. 7-4-2015 12:50am
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    • Those feelings are very normal and I can tell you as a BTDT (more than once, over the years!) they completely evaporate once your dc starts at the new SN school and you see them...(more) 7-3-2015 10:02am
      start to thrive. When they are happy and learning and finally in the right place, any thought of how another kid might be doing at another school just disappears!
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      • we all want our kids in the LRE so your feelings are normal. 7-3-2015 4:05pm
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      • This post has been disliked 3 times. showI find this attitude disgusting....(more) 7-3-2015 4:07pm
        It's actually revolting to me that people feel their kid is "better" because they "only" have LDs and not behavioral issues or social skills problems. Honestly, it's part of a really nauseating anti-disability ranking system, internalized prejudice against our own kids that reminds me of African Americans who somehow think that lighter skin is better. Are we really ranking our kids based on the severity or type of disability here on this board? Is someone going to say their kid is better than mine because they are "normal"? Or that a kid with mild autism is better than a kid on a feeding tube or a kid who uses a wheelchair to get around? It would be a lot better world if this type of competition doesn't exist.
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        • I disagree that it is ranking but we strive for our kids to be as high functioning as possible and that does not make aparent bad, 7-3-2015 4:29pm
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          • It is wrong to look down on other kids whose issues are more complex than your kid's...(more) 17 hr 28 min ago
            It comes close to bullying. Signed, mom of a "behavioral" kid who finds this ranking system ridiculous, self-involved and prejudiced.
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            • Maybe yiu are describing yourself 3 hr 33 min ago
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  6. Special Needs My 5 yr old is not potty trained. I feel like such a loser. 7-3-2015 8:06am (10 replies)
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    • I dn't care what your mother or mother in law or sister in law says, this has nothing to do with you and doens't make you anything 7-3-2015 8:08am
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      • What is your dc's sn? 7-3-2015 8:12am
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        • meant for op 7-3-2015 8:13am
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        • are youa sking me or the OP? Mine is dyslexic and ADHD and after years of intervention just graduated from SN school and will MS in the fall. Which again, doesn't make ME a...(more) 7-3-2015 8:14am
          winner or loser or anything.
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    • This post has been disliked 4 times. showI won't call you a loser, but you suck as a parent if you haven't sought help for your dc. 7-3-2015 8:10am
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      • Good morning. This is the Special Needs board. this poster has likely sought more help for her child than your luckier one will need in a lifetime. Have a nice day, apologize,...(more) 7-3-2015 8:13am
        and move on
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    • OP here, I had to step away. DD is sn, terrified of not going in a diaper. I have tried two different therapists methods. Nothing is working. So hard. 7-3-2015 9:08am
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    • (((hugs))) 7-3-2015 9:11am
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      • OP, hang in there and summer is a great time to begin anew 7-3-2015 6:12pm
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    • Mine wasn't, either. It's a year later, and now he is. Talk to your doc or CSE team and determine whether cd is developmentally ready to train before you make yourself crazy. GL. 10 hr 40 min ago
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  7. Special Needs Is it common for a therapist to bill for any emails or phone calls outside of session on a prorated basis? 7-2-2015 9:37pm (16 replies)
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    • Any? Not to schedule an appointment or call in an Rx. But to discuss anything else, sure. That should be done on the clock. 7-2-2015 9:38pm
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      • Anything besides billing. Of she has to talk to any other professional or respond to an email 7-2-2015 9:39pm
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        • what do you mean besides billing? i don't follow. 7-2-2015 9:40pm
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          • ^what would you be calling her about? 7-2-2015 9:40pm
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            • If I need her to call the school to set up a behavior plan. I didn't know that was separate. 7-2-2015 9:43pm
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              • I'm not sure what that entails 7-2-2015 9:44pm
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              • she sounds kinda greedy if she wants to charge you for this 7-2-2015 9:47pm
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                • Can she still be amazing for dc and care about him? Bc then I will accept it 7-2-2015 9:47pm
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                  • I'm sure she can, judge her on other things but I don't like this policy 7-2-2015 9:58pm
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        • np talk to any other professional about what? and why? 7-2-2015 9:40pm
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        • np: never ever had a therapist charge ME for this! she's not an ATTORNEY for Chrissakes. 7-2-2015 9:44pm
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          • Exactly, I'm just disheartened now bc I'm putting all my eggs in her basket 7-2-2015 9:45pm
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          • they charge by the hour! 7-2-2015 10:53pm
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    • for us yes, they have always charged for calls over 10 mins. 7-2-2015 10:53pm
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    • I have had therapists do this for calls over 10 minutes. I found it off putting. Current therapist does not do this nor does my own 7-2-2015 11:26pm
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    • Our np had this policy--after we paid 6k for eval. Seemed kind of rotten to me too--like maybe 1 or 2 five min emails could be included in that huge price. But otherwise they did...(more) 7-3-2015 12:25am
      a good job
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  8. Special Needs Have you found anything effective to discipline your sn kid? I have 5 yo dc, moderate asd, and he gets physical with kds when he's excited. It's not malicious, but 'hands down ,...(more) 7-2-2015 5:49pm (49 replies)
    Gentle hands' is not effective. And for example, today he pushed down a random smaller kid at the park. The dad with this kid nearly ripped my kid apart. And there I am with 'hands down.' Useless.
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    • In that situation you tell your dc that's not ok and you leave immediately. 7-2-2015 6:00pm
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      • Op: that wouldn't work with my dc and we wouldn't be able to go anywhere. Perhaps your dc is higher functioning than mine. 7-2-2015 6:33pm
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        • What do you mean you wouldn't be able to go. You need to physically restrain him or carry him away if he won't leave 7-2-2015 6:35pm
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          • I mean this is a constant issue. And if the resolution were to leave if he gets physical with another kid, then I would be leaving 2minutes after arriving at any destination. So...(more) 7-2-2015 6:37pm
            So what would be the point of going anywhere? Therefore, that will not work for us
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            • Further I have another child and that wouldn't be fair to him 7-2-2015 6:39pm
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            • I don't mean this to sound unkind but you can't let your dc hurt other dc and if your words don't work you need to find something effective that will. Maybe it will take 3 times...(more) 7-2-2015 6:40pm
              of leaving maybe it will take 10 times but eventually he will get the message that if he gets physical with another child he won't be allowed to stay.
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              • It's not unkind. And I understand what you are saying. But I don't think it is the solution. For example, he will do this at school. So they are going to constantly remove him...(more) 7-2-2015 6:50pm
                From class? They don't now. That would be too much of an interference. And if the message is not consistent across the board, then it won't be effective. Additionally, I refuse to have my other child punished for his brothers behavior. And I am often alone with them, so it's not like someone can stay with one and go off with the other.
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                • So what do they do at school? Follow that plan 7-2-2015 7:04pm
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                  • Hands down, gentle hands. It's ineffective. 7-2-2015 7:16pm
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                    • Also, he's in a self contained class. The kids in his class won't be as dramatic when they're touched as a nt child 7-2-2015 7:20pm
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                • np: at school they really do need to remove him. and I agree with other responder, fair or unfair to his brother, he needs to get the message. I have a dd with HFA and she was...(more) 7-2-2015 7:37pm
                  AWFUL at 5. I left lots of places, forcibly held her hand against her will as she flailed, took her out of expensive day camp I had already paid for...I did lots of stuff that I didn't want to do. I gave rewards for VERY small positives. And eventually things improved. putting her in a different school helped, but let me tell you, the day camp thing made a big impression. she had behaved inappropriately and had gotten physical with another kid. I said "ok you don't go back and we are not doing anything else fun to replace it" and we did not. it sucked for me but it really had an impact on dd.
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                  • Hfa = high functioning? 7-2-2015 7:42pm
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                    • yes. 7-2-2015 7:43pm
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                      • Dc is not hfa and would not understand that sort of talk. He doesn't put two and two together. When I am angry I can tell he doesn't understand why. Perhaps on this board he...(more) 7-2-2015 7:47pm
                        would be considered more low functioning.
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                        • Then you need to say "no" and put him in a bear hug so he calms down 7-2-2015 7:49pm
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                          • Give me more info on a bear hug. Is it just meant to restrain them? 7-2-2015 7:55pm
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                        • dd was not capable of following complex explanations at that age either, trust me. she was extremely difficult to deal with. I don't think low or high functioning requires...(more) 7-2-2015 7:51pm
                          different tools fundamentally, though - you have to provide a really clear and consistent message that certain behavior won't be permitted. it is a long process and there is no magic that I know of. good luck.
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    • NP: I do not mean to "pile on" but you should re-read this thread, OP> You asked for help and people are trying to provide it. You have nixed any and all suggestions. I think you...(more) 7-2-2015 6:59pm
      may be doing here what you do with DS - backed yourself into a "no win" corner and feel helpless. You AND your child need to have professional help to figure out what comes next. Truth is, you DO have to remove tour child from situations where he hits others until you both get to a place where you can both prevent it from happening. If you do not do this at 5, it will be a lot worse at 7 or 10 or 15. You need help with behavior management - call your pediatrician and ask for referrals. Best of luck.
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      • I've dh one suggestion so far that I said would not work for us. Perhaps you should re-read the thread 7-2-2015 7:17pm
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        • Np - I think we have toddler trolls here. 7-2-2015 7:19pm
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        • Further, this was discussed with his school, and while I still do not have a good response in plan for these situations, they said leaving is not the answer. I am looking for...(more) 7-2-2015 7:22pm
          btdt posters to respond.
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          • 1st or. I am a btdt parent. And if what works in school does not work outside of school then you need a new plan. Maybe they can help come up with it 7-2-2015 7:31pm
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            • It doesn't work in school. Yes, I need a new plan. That's what I'm looking for. And your plan will not work for us. Thanks for your response 7-2-2015 7:33pm
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              • Then you need outside help. You need to work with a behavior therapist 7-2-2015 7:35pm
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                • I've had aba therapist for nearly 2 years. He's been in an aba program for 2. No one has given me any other tools other than 'hands down, gentle hands'. Which is why I am...(more) 7-2-2015 7:40pm
                  seeking advice here from parents who have actually been in these shoes. Teachers and therapists do not deal with these kids outside controlled environments and generally do not have experience with this. You can't tell me the only option is to leave every time he touches another kid.
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                  • np: remind him of expectations before you take him anywhere. tell him what the consequence will be if he doesn't meet expectations (you pick consequence but it should be...(more) 7-2-2015 7:42pm
                    meaningful to dc). and then follow through. EVERY time. this is what a behavioral therapist is going to tell you IMO and it is what will work.
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                    • Ok, he would not understand a conversation about expectations....his comprehension skills are no where near there. 7-2-2015 7:44pm
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                      • NO HITTING. can he understand that? 7-2-2015 7:44pm
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                        • Every therapist I've had has said not to bring attention to the behavior by saying it (ie no hitting). They've said it will make it worse. That being said it is often an...(more) 7-2-2015 7:50pm
                          instinctive response (no pushing, no hitting, etc) and it has not been effective. It just like glosses right over him
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                          • Because there is no action to go with it. If he doesn't understand then you couple it with an action to show him. Like I said above. A bear hug 7-2-2015 7:51pm
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                            • So what action can be paired with it other than leaving? 7-2-2015 7:52pm
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                              • I said it a bear hug. 7-2-2015 7:52pm
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                                • >>>you hold them so they can't get away 7-2-2015 7:53pm
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                                  • And when they have a melt down from being restrained? 7-2-2015 7:56pm
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                                    • You hold them till they are calm. The point of it is so they don't hurt you or themselves or anyone else 7-2-2015 10:59pm
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                                      • Ok, it's worth a try. But my concern is that if I do this, it's when he's happy and he wants to play with other kids. He just doesn't do it appropriately. So he's happy, an...(more) 7-3-2015 12:11am
                                        he's let's say grabbing/squeezing a kid he wants to play with, and I step in to restrain him... I think he'll go to being happy to having a melt down because I am restraining him...not necessarily calm down from it...
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                  • I told you what worked for us and others and you are wrong therapists will go with your dc to the park and work on these things in the setting where it is not working. You are...(more) 7-2-2015 7:43pm
                    extremely defensive for no reason. I am surprised that's the only suggestion you have gotten form teachers and therapists
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                    • I agree. We haven't had greAt therapists when it comes to this arena. And come fall we will not have therapists at home who would even be able to do things like go to the park...(more) 7-2-2015 7:51pm
                      with him.
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                      • You need some kind of parent training 7-2-2015 7:52pm
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                        • I've had 7-2-2015 7:56pm
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                          • But by your own admission it has not been effective. You need to find someone who can help you 7-2-2015 10:58pm
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                            • 100%. But that's like finding a needle in a haystack -at least that's been my experience, which is why I often seek advice from btdt parents 7-3-2015 12:07am
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    • My dd is the SN dc, but I'd just like to add to the "take him away" camp. When ds was 2 he didn't understand much, and was hitting and sometimes biting. We had to leave the...(more) 7-2-2015 8:11pm
      playground after 2 minutes maybe 5-10 times or so, I would say "you have to be gentle, if you're not gentle we leave right away". Eventually he got the picture. Even if he hadn't gotten the picture I would have left because I couldn't stand watching him hurt other kids.
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      • Was this a malicious hitting or a hitting because dd was excited to see peers? 7-2-2015 8:31pm
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        • It was ds who was hitting, he usually hit over not wanting to share toys, occasionally excitement. 7-2-2015 8:34pm
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    • New to this thread, but to me it sounds like you have two separate issues here -- improving the behavior and being able to go to public places with your dcs. We have good friends...(more) 7-2-2015 9:36pm
      from dc's SN preschool whose middle child sounds similar to yours. Just gets very physical when excited. It has sucked for their other kids but they just don't take him to parks/ playgrounds with many children because at age 4 he is big enough to hurt other kids. They are still working with their ABA provider on solutions to the behavior (timeouts, 'hands to yourself'/ focus on the positive vs 'no' for the hitting/pushing), but the advice they have been given is to have smaller group playdates (like they do with us) with parents who understand and who can look out for their own kids. They also hit the playgrounds very early in the morning when it's quiet (like 7-7:30!). It's very frustrating (esp in NYC) to be unable to go to public playgrounds at normal times, but you just cannot bring a child whose behavior puts others at risk to a park. Good luck OP. It's not easy.
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      • Yes, this situation does sound more similar to mine. Thanks for the response on how they're handling it 7-3-2015 12:05am
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    • Yes you carry him out and then you use social skills stories and roll playing to teach dc the rules of the park. Then u go to the park for 2minutes and leave and praise dc for...(more) 7-3-2015 7:50am
      not hitting. Because he was successful at 2 minutes you do 5 the next time. Praise and keep working on the social skill story and roll playing (iplay has toy parks). And you slowly build to an hour and IF dc hits you leave right away. The clock on how long you stay goes back to 5 min before he got physical that day. This is what we did for my ASD dc. It's hard being a sn mom. A bcba helped!
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      • ^and like poster above I found empty parks and school helped. School would even try to trigger dc to get 7-3-2015 7:52am
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  9. Special Needs DS6 just completed his first week in an inclusion program at a ms day camp. Had to share these excerpts from his weekly counselor's report: his counselor wanted to "emphasize...(more) 7-2-2015 5:40pm (8 replies)
    the pure, sincere joy that emanates from him" and make sure that I knew ds was "a light to all who encounter him". They also said he was quicker to understand instructions than other (NT) kids in the group, and would help the other kids when they didn't understand.
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    • Great!! What camp is this? 7-2-2015 5:48pm
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      • One of the Y camps. 7-2-2015 5:51pm
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        • Fantastic! 7-2-2015 6:25pm
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        • Which Y? We aren't happy at our Y camp. Ds is bored 7-2-2015 6:43pm
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          • Not OP but my son is at Yomi for third year and he loves it. They have an inclusion staff person and I always talk with her before camp and a few weeks into camp. He is having a...(more) 7-2-2015 7:40pm
            great year as he did last year. In k he did Camp Tova which was not a good fit.
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            • I've heard nice things of yomi but it's $$$. The Y is all we could afford 😔 7-2-2015 8:05pm
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          • Central Queens Y 7-2-2015 8:41pm
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            • Thx...unfortunately I'm in Manhattan. Have to find another affordable place for next summer 7-3-2015 7:43am
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  10. Special Needs Anyone have any contact with Nick seivert recently? Wondering how he's doing. 7-2-2015 3:01pm (11 replies)
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    • You could email and ask him. 7-2-2015 3:03pm
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      • I know. I'm shy. 7-2-2015 3:03pm
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        • If he knows that he'd be proud that you confronted it and emailed. That's CBT. 7-2-2015 3:04pm
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          • True! But he was dd's therapist! I'm just neing nosy, albeit in a caring way. 7-2-2015 3:30pm
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            • np: He's a human being and he's not your family therapist anymore - now he's just a person formerly in your life that you're thinking about. It's not nosy; if you sent him a...(more) 7-2-2015 3:33pm
              3-line email saying that your dd is doing well but that you miss him and hope that he is doing well in his new life, I'm sure he would be nothing but pleased and touched that you're thinking of him.
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              • True 7-2-2015 3:37pm
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              • Np: Ita. I bet he likes to hear from old clients. 7-2-2015 3:49pm
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            • i understand that he was your child's therapist. do you think he doesn't know that you are shy? just email him if you wantr 7-2-2015 9:08pm
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    • Yes. Dc Skypes. He seems good 7-2-2015 3:23pm
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      • Wondering if he had a baby 7-2-2015 3:29pm
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    • Lurk on FB. 7-2-2015 4:31pm
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  11. Special Needs Took dc to his cbt therapist yesterday the dr pulled me aside and paused and said that he normally does not say this but wanted to tell me that he has a client who really likes my...(more) 7-2-2015 2:09pm (7 replies)
    Son and thinks he's quirky but very honest and fair. Dr said that he felt since I rarely get to hear this that he felt it was ok to tell me. - it is nice to know that others get him 😀. He is in ms and I don't ever get to hear the good side of dc
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    • unprofessional 7-2-2015 2:13pm
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      • Op: we've been at this therapist for 5 years. I hear you but it was from a good place and after a rough year where ASD dcs was harassed by a parent of a child in his class who is...(more) 7-2-2015 2:16pm
        In denial over her sons issues so harassed the school about my sons behavior all year!
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        • np: that crazy transgender story? I'm still so blown away by that. I think your therapist did a very nice thing. 7-2-2015 2:23pm
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          • Yes it got worse. In the end I had to call a meeting with all the departments: special Ed, teacher, nurse, guidance, principal. The parent harassing us is a teacher so she was...(more) 7-2-2015 2:34pm
            Smart and called different offices with different complaints to avoid being caught. Once all the departments shared their complaints with each other it was obvious who the problem was. Could u imagine that this women is a teacher?!?!?!!! The principal was shocked and in awe and was furious that guidance did not catch it sooner. Her dc is in after care, thank god my school is not but she even bullied another school in after care too. Denial is a powerful drug!
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            • ^another dc in aftercare. I am friends with that dcs mom so I found out about those complaints that way and made the school aware. 7-2-2015 2:36pm
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              • They need to fire her and hire you! 7-2-2015 2:41pm
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                • She is at a different school. I doubt if that school has any idea of what a pita she was and all the waisted expense and reports she made our school do. They were furious once...(more) 7-2-2015 2:53pm
                  they saw the big picture. She was smart she'd call special teachers about a complaint in the hallway walking to that special. Each incident was usually with a different teacher and or department but always about my son and a behavior that was not so bad as to alert all departments but enough to cause trouble: my school called him a bastard, poked with a pencil, teased
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  12. Special Needs Really hoping to get dd connected to some nice kids this summer. I posted before a girl she plays with who will do one on one playdates, but will have parties with their mutual...(more) 7-2-2015 12:34pm (8 replies)
    friends and never invite dd. What's hard is she is nice in person, and I get along with her nanny which helps if we do a group outing with my younger kid, but this exclusion thing has happened a few times now and it's not okay
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    • how old is dd? 7-2-2015 12:35pm
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      • op - a very young 8 :) 7-2-2015 12:35pm
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        • what kind of parties are they having at 8? seems odd. 7-2-2015 12:36pm
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        • you are way too involved and meddling way too much. back off. kids are so fickle at this age. yes there are always some kids who seem to have total bffs....but most don't...(more) 7-2-2015 12:37pm
          stand down
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    • how do you know how many people are invited to these "parties"? 7-2-2015 12:37pm
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    • what are these parties? 7-2-2015 12:39pm
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    • Sorry to pile on but I am also confused as to how an 8yo is having all these parties. 7-2-2015 12:41pm
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      • I read her original post. It's birthday parties. Op's kid gets along with one girl but the girl does not include her when it's a group. Op, I think you should just focus on...(more) 7-2-2015 2:52pm
        creating g relationships with other girls. Continue playdates with this girl if dd wants but explain to her that it seems she won't be invited if it's a group. Is your dd hurt or just you?
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  13. Special Needs Is summit appropriate for dyslexic child with some social emotional issues? I feel like the social aspect is going to get worse as middle school approaches. Been in public with...(more) 7-2-2015 12:10pm (8 replies)
    support, but its not going well.. I'm regretting not trying to move him sooner. doing NP in fall.
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    • Could be, yes, best thing to do is get NP and apply in the fall - they'll let you know if he's appropriate. 7-2-2015 12:29pm
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    • Best to send out applications by Oct or Nov latest. All require...(more) 7-2-2015 12:45pm
      a NP evaluation. SN schools do not view application as complete w/o NP eval- which can take longer than you think to get done, discuss with parents, and then finalize report.
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      • Thanks-- I'm was just wondering about what type of school summit is. i know they don't do general tours- one needs to apply first. 7-2-2015 12:49pm
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        • Learning as well as a lot of social-emotional support 7-2-2015 12:57pm
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        • DC was accepted and we had an extensive individual tour and had meetings with several people there one on one and were introduced to students. Then DC spent a half day there. Very...(more) 7-3-2015 1:16am
          impressed but it was not for DC who is dyslexic because our DC does not need the social/behavioral element. However we loved the school if it had been a fit for DC.
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          • They do have LD kids. I would find out about how they remediate dyslexia and if that will work for your child. 7-3-2015 1:17am
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        • Start a thread with "Any Summit Moms on?' There usually are some here. 7-3-2015 1:18am
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    • Talk to Sarah Birnbaum. She's an educational consultant who helps parents wit SN kids in NYC. She has a child there. She is very reasonable and there is no big overall fee. If all...(more) 7-3-2015 1:21am
      you want is a phone call or two that's fine with her. She may also have other suggestions because you ned to apply to more than one.
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  14. Special Needs What is the political slant of "Slate" magazine? 7-2-2015 8:55am (4 replies)
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    • left and you're posting in speical needs. 7-2-2015 8:56am
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  15. Special Needs Imagine a profession where you test the IQ of chimps. What fun! 7-2-2015 8:27am (0 replies)
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  16. Special Needs Dc had 3rd NP evaluation at 14. NP called dc "the poster child for the success of intervention." It's been a long 12 years…but so grateful for a much improved outcome. Hang in...(more) 7-2-2015 8:17am (6 replies)
    there, moms!
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    • That's so great to hear. I really needed to hear something like that. May I ask what your ds' issues were? My ds is almost 6 and it is an intensely difficult time. I am so worried...(more) 7-2-2015 9:18am
      about the future. Has had various therapies for 3 years but no major breakthroughs.
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      • Sure, though I can't give it full justice. DX'd at 24 mo "at risk of autism" (missed cut off by 2 points on CARS). Intense therapies (ABA, OT, PT, play, social skills) over next...(more) 7-2-2015 9:37am
        two years, gradually dropping (OMG, forgot speech, which was biggest concern). DC was declassified at age 7, then dxd with ADHD inattentive, severe anxiety, math and writing disorder. Began CBT and meds for anxiety, about to begin SSRI for a short course as the anxiety has not improved (should have done this before but resistant to meds before seeing CAMS study).Tutoring for LDs Now at 14 no LDs present, and dc in not below average in any academic area in fact in some significantly above. Last challenge is the anxiety, and ADHD is under control and in fact lost inattentive dx and is no NOS. We had many wonderful therapists along way. I will sticky if more questions, and send good wishes to all
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        • ^it was just such a huge slog - fighting with DOE over services, suing them twice, the long treks to and from dc's therapies. the worry dc would never be independent, seeing dc...(more) 7-2-2015 9:39am
          compared to other children and fearing sinking into a deep hole of despair. It was so hard and I was all alone, had to sell my apartment, etc, You all work so hard and I salute every parent going through this.
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          • OR; thanks, this is so helpful. So much of this sounds like my ds right now and lately I've been plagued with anxiety that he won't significantly improve. Reading this really...(more) 7-2-2015 9:56am
            gives me hope. You are obviously a fantastic mom and the perseverance is paying off.
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            • Aw, ty. A specific note about reading (not that Iwouldn't follow teacher's instructions). DD didn't read fluently until summer after 2nd grade. She was far behind her peers and I...(more) 7-2-2015 9:58am
              was worried. But she got bitten by the "bug" that summer with the "Spiderwick" chronicles and has done extremely well with reading comp since. It's hard to separate out, since dd DID have issues, but reading was really about maturity
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    • any professionals you would recommend that you think really helped DC? If you don't mind share. I assumed you are in NYC. TY 1 hr 17 min ago
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  17. Special Needs If you use a therapist do they have policies in place for billing for time outside of the office? Phone, email, etc 7-1-2015 10:17pm (1 reply)
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    • All the therapists and professionals we have worked with have all done shirt phone calls and emails for free. I have asked and they all say some version of "no additional charge...(more) 7-1-2015 11:37pm
      until it becomes excessive". In 10 years I've never reached "excessive" and there have been a lot of emails and phone calls.
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  18. Special Needs Did you ever use cognitive behavioral therapist? 7-1-2015 10:16pm (10 replies)
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    • For myself? Yes, and it was life-changing. Helped me with my anxiety so, so much. 7-1-2015 10:18pm
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      • It's for dc for impulse issues. Is it helpful? 7-1-2015 10:19pm
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        • or - I would try it, I have heard great things from moms here whose kids have done CBT for anxiety and impulse issues 7-1-2015 10:19pm
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          • Thank you it's very expensive, I just want to know it can help 7-1-2015 10:20pm
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          • Would she bill you for calls or emails outside the office? 7-1-2015 10:24pm
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    • What age could this work for? Would love to stop 5yo dd's impulsive issues 7-1-2015 10:22pm
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      • ^and for the above poster, did this work for ASD kids or kids with other issues? 7-1-2015 10:23pm
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      • My 4 year old did is wth. A lot of success 7-2-2015 10:39am
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    • I used a CBT recommended here for myself. It took about a year but I was able to kick the anxiety over the specific thing making me anxious. If I had a kid with problems that...(more) 7-2-2015 6:59am
      could be helped by CBT I'd do it.
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    • Yes. It was amazing. Started when ds was 4. 7-2-2015 10:38am
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  19. Special Needs 8yo dd is having her best friend over tomorrow, and I'm going to have to give her a lecture about the two of them doing some something that doesn't involve teasing 4yo ds. Dd is...(more) 7-1-2015 10:01pm (3 replies)
    normally nice, but on playdates sometimes seems to not know what to do with her friends, and picking on little brother is an easy thing for them to do. I stop it, always, but since 4yo loves attention, it gets complicated, especially when the friend actually wants to play with 4yo, but dd gets jealous. The teasing is sneaking in to ds's room and taking things, waiting for him to notice, trying to get him to come to her room and running screaming when he does. I'm having a hard time with this, because I don't want my little kid teased, but older kid will refuse any suggestions I make for things to do. Any tips?
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    • Outside/crafts/picnic/barbies/sprinklers/ 7-1-2015 10:04pm
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    • Sounds like what every sibling has done since time began 7-1-2015 10:08pm
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    • You need to involve younger DC is a project and special time for the 2 of you. 7-1-2015 10:13pm
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  20. Special Needs Any Summit or Winston Prep parents on? Wondering what their summer program requirements are. Are kids required to attend during the summer or is it optional? What about Lowell? 7-1-2015 9:46pm (6 replies)
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    • Do they have summer programs? Some schools are 12 month (6 wks in the summer) and some are 10 months. 7-1-2015 9:48pm
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    • Just know for Winston, it is an optional 4-week program, open to any student. 7-1-2015 9:53pm
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      • I meant to say any student inside or outside of Winston. Takes kids from many MS privates in NYC...(more) 7-2-2015 12:46pm
        as well as other SN schools.
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    • Summit is a 10mo program, no summer session. 7-1-2015 9:54pm
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    • Winston has Summer School as an option, but it is not required. 7-3-2015 11:43pm
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    • we just got a reading assignment for the summer. my kid starts this fall. she was a little bummed but then one of the books appealed to her. 5 hr 46 min ago
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  21. Special Needs I do t want to brag to too many people ir 7-1-2015 9:28pm (0 replies)
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  22. Special Needs Repost:Ds is 10 (well, almost 11yo) this year we went with the decisiion to medicate him for his ADHD issues (at his request). WE just dropped him off at overnight camp, it's a...(more) 7-1-2015 9:07pm (2 replies)
    great camp, this is his second summer there, they have a behavior therapist there, they work with him (but it is a MS camp). I am so nervous for him more so than last year. Last year, there was one incident of impulsivity that got him in trouble, but that was about 1/2 way through etc, he wasn't medicated. We have seen a total change in him since the meds and school was excellent. I wish I could relax.
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    • I am sure it will go well esp since last year went well unmedicated. Totally normal to be nervous. I would be the same way with my nt ds. 7-1-2015 9:15pm
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      • op--sounds like a great summer ahead and keep us posted! 7-1-2015 9:47pm
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  23. Special Needs I don't know how to handle this. My overtired 6yo son (ASD) got himself really worked up after a disagreement with a sibling tonight. He started saying awful things about how he...(more) 7-1-2015 8:16pm (3 replies)
    wanted to kill himself, describing how he'd use a knife. I'd never heard him say things like this. I tried to talk him through his feelings, told him it was OK and normal to feel really angry and that I understood and I was here for him and loved him. Didn't know how specifically to address the threats. I can't really believe they're real.. but don't want to be dismissive either. Advice please!
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    • He's overtired 7-1-2015 8:19pm
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    • Normal for the age to talk like this, plus the overtired, bad combo. 7-1-2015 8:20pm
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      • op: thank you 7-1-2015 8:46pm
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  24. Special Needs Will my ds' mandatory appointments for meds management for Intuniv be monthly forever? Doc is only in our local office once a week, it's hell on our schedule. 7-1-2015 5:05pm (5 replies)
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    • possibly. The norm is 4-6 weeks for certain meds. 7-1-2015 6:02pm
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    • My school only goes 2x a year for intuniv and Zoloft. We see a cbt therapist weekly but psychiatrist only 2x for 30 min. Cbt is in charge of monitoring dc and will advise me to...(more) 7-1-2015 6:21pm
      call psych if a med change is necessary.
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    • Who says it is mandatory? By law it is not. My DD was on it for a few years and only went in every 3-4 months. Intuniv is just a long lasting form of guanfacine which is a generic...(more) 7-2-2015 3:09am
      that has been around forever.
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      • It has nothing to do with being generic or not. In NY State (probably elsewhere, as well), ADHD meds are tightly controlled due to people's penchant for abusing them. 7-2-2015 9:32am
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        • Intuniv is not a stimulant and not a controlled medication. The doctor may want to see him if he has recently started. No NY mandate to go monthly for Intuniv. Ask doctor if you...(more) 7-2-2015 12:43pm
          can come less often. This is your doctor's requirement, not the state's or the FDAs.
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  25. Special Needs Dh is an attorney. he thinks that the court should have used full faith and credit rather than equal protection for the gay marriage, because you can't have one state recognize...(more) 7-1-2015 2:23pm (4 replies)
    something like marriage where there are major tax/insurance issues etc.
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    • ^^^ugh ment for toddler I apologize 7-1-2015 2:23pm
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    • True, but if decided on that ground alone, the right could be later withdrawn if all states agreed to it. 7-1-2015 2:24pm
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      • yeah, but that wouldn't happen 7-1-2015 2:24pm
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        • I am an attorney too and I think the court got it right. The first line of Supreme Court decisions overturned a state law banning inter-racial marriages and the line of cases...(more) 7-1-2015 6:48pm
          progressed to the decision banning states from enacting laws banning gay marriages.
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