Special Needs

  1. Special Needs I am looking for a CPSE preschool in Queens for my 3yo dd. I'd appreciate any recommendations. 9 min ago (2 replies)
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    • It's been many years by now, but my ds went to Little Meadows in Fresh Meadows, had a couple of amazing therapists there. 7 min ago
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      • ^^ and at the time I also heard good things about YAI, don't know if that's still there 6 min ago
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  2. Special Needs My DD (4th grade) has dysgraphia. What therapies have helped your dc with dysgraphia? What supports do they get? Extra time? 41 min ago (0 replies)
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  3. Special Needs My son is a great reader and does well in all writing/literature classes but when he has to read a book at home, he reads aloud. Does it matter? He's 13. He is able to read to...(more) 54 min ago (1 reply)
    himself but prefers it this way at home... Should I just let it be?
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  4. Special Needs Preparing for iep mtg for 5th grade son with adhd, processing, anxiety, etc. I think I have a good question list but anything you have found that is off the radar that you...(more) 57 min ago (0 replies)
    recommend?
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  5. Special Needs Is reading words backwards a sign of dyslexia? 6yo often reads "was" as "saw", for example. 2 hr 47 min ago (7 replies)
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    • At 6 it's still developmental 2 hr 45 min ago
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      • AND he can't tell b and d apart. 2 hr 44 min ago
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        • totally 100% normal at 6. Get back to us at age 8 or so if it is still flipped 2 hr 42 min ago
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        • If he still has trouble after 7 then I would look into an eval 2 hr 42 min ago
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    • My dd's teachers told me we can't diagnose for sure until around 8. And that's with a strong family history and some early indicators. 2 hr 32 min ago
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      • That's what my school told me but not what the NP said. I held off on the NP until almost 7 just in case they would tell me it was invalid because of age. I've also read in...(more) 10 min ago
        several places that it's best if you can diagnose before the end of 1st grade, when you have time to remediate before they are "reading to learn" instead of "learning to read". I realize for some kids later reading might be developmental, but I believe the tests the NP do can identify whether it's dyslexia or not. That being said, I've also read that reversing words/letters can definitely be developmental and have heard that it can continue until 2nd grade without it being dyslexia. One of the things I never knew about was rhyming though - my dd never really got it and it turns out that can be an early indicator of dyslexic tendencies.
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  6. Special Needs So frustrated so many SN schools don't have high schools. Windward, Eagle Hill are near me but no high school....(more) 2 hr 47 min ago (8 replies)
    Windward apparently used to but stopped.
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    • What about The Community School in NJ? 2 hr 46 min ago
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    • Winston ct 2 hr 37 min ago
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    • how old is dc? 2 hr 37 min ago
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    • There are Westchester families with kids at Summit. 2 hr 37 min ago
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      • I know, but it's far and i don't think DC fits the profile. Pretty severe dyslexia is the problem. No behavioral or emotional issues except for low self esteem over academics. 1 hr 49 min ago
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        • Conmunity. It's really not that far! 1 hr 45 min ago
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          • We will take a look. Just wish there were more choices and with better facilities. 1 hr 42 min ago
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  7. Special Needs Hate my DH!...(more) 3 hr 59 min ago (26 replies)
    He screamed at my 4 yo autistic DS and made him cry b/c he kicked him while he was sleeping. DS was trying to play and get attention. He's very physical and sensory seeking. Then he tells me DS is a piece of sh*t malicious terror who will end up arrested. That he wishes he could get rid of him and never have anything to do with him. That no one likes him but me and everyone who says otherwise is being nice. My heart breaks for my poor son, I am devastated. Basically DH is lazy and refuses to apply any of the techniques various therapists have given us for working with DS. For a kid who really needs tons of love he sure drew the short stick with such a crappy dad.
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    • I'm not on SN, but I think you need to leave him 3 hr 58 min ago
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      • I would leave a DH like this. The child is only 4. I hate to tell you this, but autism gets harder as the kids age. 1 hr 2 min ago
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    • What your dh said was inexcusable, absolutely. But your ds should not be kicking sleeping people. If he won't get him help, get it without him. 3 hr 56 min ago
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      • DS has tons of help and is actually making great progress in many areas....(more) 3 hr 54 min ago
        But this is moderate-severe autism. There is no magic cure, it's one step forward ten steps back. There are ways to discipline, modify behavior, etc. It's lots of work. DH just doesn't do anything that would be productive. He has been given/offered the tools many times.
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        • Is he verbal? Is he more physical with dh? Does dh have 'positive' interactions with ds that he can build on? 3 hr 39 min ago
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          • He's slowly becoming more verbal. Pretty physical with everyone....(more) 3 hr 25 min ago
            He's very sensory seeking. Often it's just his way of playing and showing affection (although not always for sure). DH does not have many positive interactions with him. Gets mad when DS doesn't make eye contact and greet him. Doesn't even comprehend how much work that takes to make happen.
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            • If you love your dh and want to make your family work, I'd do what you can to support dh while he adjusts to what is a very difficult road. I suggested finding families that might...(more) 3 hr 18 min ago
              give DH a window into how other dads are with their autistic children. And I'd try to have ABA when DH is home to observe. Make it pleasant - a beer or a cup of coffee can make watching an ABA session a lot easier.
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            • I'm sorry, OP, but your dh sounds like an asshole. I'd dump his ass. 1 hr 1 min ago
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    • the stress of a special needs child is hell in a marriage 3 hr 55 min ago
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      • Yes. That's why I hesitate to leave....(more) 3 hr 52 min ago
        Honestly think DH would be secretly thrilled at getting the out and dumping burden on my shoulders alone.
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        • But the next guy might not be any better, or it might be harder alone especially financially. DH is devastated and doesn't seem to have attached to his son. Any way the two of you...(more) 3 hr 49 min ago
          can get some respite?
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          • We don't need it. Have a full time live in nanny during week who's awesome....(more) 3 hr 47 min ago
            DH does very little to nothing with my son already.
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            • why do you keep calling him my son? 3 hr 45 min ago
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              • Just instead of saying DS. 3 hr 44 min ago
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            • so sorry about that. anything you still like about DH? 3 hr 37 min ago
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        • np: so you stay to punish dh? there is no point in that 3 hr 49 min ago
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          • Not exactly that simple. 3 hr 46 min ago
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    • I'd focus on getting some counseling for DH. Or if he won't go that way, perhaps inviting families for playdates that have dcs of similar profiles. That might allow him to see...(more) 3 hr 42 min ago
      other men and families that he could relate to.
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      • He's seemed to enjoy parent training and meeting others in similar situations....(more) 3 hr 16 min ago
        But when it comes to trying to apply lessons learned to actual real life DS he simply won't do it. Told him not sure why he even bothered to go and he said I was right he actually doesn't want to do any work with DS and won't be engaging further. Then he left the house.
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        • OK. For me this might be the end. I could not raise my children in a house with a parent who had no interest in engaging with them, SN or NT. It will have negative effects on both...(more) 2 hr 51 min ago
          you and DS. If dh won't agree to change his attitude and parenting I don't think I could stay.
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    • I say stuff I don't mean to dh. Really harsh stuff about our dc. Here and dh are my only possible venting places, and even here I get flamed for my frustrated rage. Dh is the only...(more) 3 hr 38 min ago
      One who will listen and not flame me.
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      • I can't help but flame him when he says this kind of stuff to me. I pretty much thinks he means it. 3 hr 23 min ago
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      • This!!! It's really tough and frustrating and especially when your child is young. Dhs often take more time to come around. Talk to dh when he is calm and discuss getting him...(more) 2 hr 26 min ago
        some therapy
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    • Poor DS is bouncing off the walls having trouble sleeping....(more) 3 hr 4 min ago
      He not stupid and can sense when something is off.
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    • Can you get him to acknowledge the fact that he is under terrible stress and needs someone to talk to 1:1 to get out these huge, horrible feelings that are polluting his...(more) 2 hr 38 min ago
      relationship with you and with your ds? If he'll go into individual therapy that would be a very good start.
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      • Thanks maybe I'll see if he's willing to try that. 2 hr 33 min ago
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  8. Special Needs Do you think kids are over diagnosed with ADHD now-a-days? 4 hr 17 min ago (25 replies)
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    • no 4 hr 17 min ago
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      • is there another way to resolve it other than medication? 4 hr 16 min ago
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        • let a kid be a kid? so may people i grew up with could've been dx'd but weren't 4 hr 14 min ago
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        • I think some of the cases are misdiagnosis and there are really other issues that need to be addressed, particularly in terms of home enviornment 4 hr 7 min ago
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        • depends how serious and the type of adhd. Lots of people cannot take stimulant meds...(more) 4 hr 3 min ago
          and/or have bad side effects. Lots of people don't take meds but they (like me) tend to have inattentive adhd vs. hyperactive. Luckily many people grow out of hyperactive after puberty and if the focus part isn't severe teens often stop meds. There are other ways to cope. Meds can be a miracle for those who can tolerate them, though.
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    • sure they are 4 hr 16 min ago
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    • Possibly. I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that we expect young children to sit and focus on schoolwork for ridiculously developmentally inappropriate periods of...(more) 4 hr 15 min ago
      time.
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      • I agree. We expect children to be little adults. I think even outside of school parents don't match up kids developmental stage with appropriate activities 4 hr 11 min ago
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        • ^^I also think we have become such a sedentary society that we do not know how to handle normal active children 4 hr 10 min ago
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    • could be. better than underdx'd 4 hr 14 min ago
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    • yes, I think they are very much over dx and over medicated. Self regulation and cbt are life long tools needed, not meds 4 hr 14 min ago
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      • i've had two people tell me each of my kids with big personalities may be adhd. annoys me 4 hr 12 min ago
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        • I have adhd and a child with it and I also agree that kids are medicated who don't need it because they are required to sit still for ridiculous amounts of time and concentrate on...(more) 4 hr ago
          text before they are ready. These kids tend to quit meds later.
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          • My kid has recess three times a day and takes meds and still he has to jump up and down for two minutes so that he can sit still in class after recess. The range is wide 3 hr 21 min ago
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            • What kind of school has recess 3 times a day? 3 hr 13 min ago
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              • Public school in California. 3 hr 9 min ago
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                • That is remarkable. My ADHD ds gets 20 min recess per day. Needs more! 3 hr 6 min ago
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      • My ds is ADHD and medicated and is learning cbt and self regulation. Meds ate not a cute all but they make the child more accessible for learning. 3 hr 37 min ago
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    • yes! 4 hr 12 min ago
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    • I think it's over-dxed in the 4-5yo set. Kids can change so drastically in the under-10 years. I don't think most kids over 10yo are misdiagnosed though. 3 hr 42 min ago
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    • Idk. Ds' teacher rushed to suggest medication (and ds has had an IEP for years). NP felt that was a completely bs suggestion, but I think teacher was angling for a quick fix 3 hr 27 min ago
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      • Teachers have no business suggesting medication. 3 hr 11 min ago
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        • Yes, ita. But they do it anyway. Actually she said she thought the school was going to do it - ds was over going an IEP reevaluate 3 hr 10 min ago
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    • I think the line between when it's a condition to treat vs in the range of normal behavior is tough to draw. And I think medication is easier than rethinking our expectations of...(more) 3 hr 24 min ago
      very young children.
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    • I think dc who are dxed with ADHD generally have something going on, but sometimes it's really something other than ADHD. A number of conditions have a lot of symptom overlap,...(more) 2 hr 5 min ago
      and not every diagnostician is fabulous.
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  9. Special Needs Since Winston Prep doesn't start until 4th grade, where do children typically go to before attending this school? I have a 1st grader who fits the school's profile. DC is in 1st...(more) 8 hr 2 min ago (6 replies)
    Grade and struggling in ICT class. Do people transfer between SN schools, or do we try to make ICT work with more supports? DC exhibits LD and Adhd (inattentive), poor motor planning, slow processing, speech delay. But- DC is social at school and has a solid group of friends. Meeting with NP next month.
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    • Kids go to Winston from a lot of SN schools, like Aaron, WEDS, Gateway to name some kids I know there 7 hr 50 min ago
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    • My kid who sounds a lot like this is at Mary McDowell. 6 hr 17 min ago
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    • gaynor if no major behavior issues 6 hr 15 min ago
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    • There seem to be a big group of former Gillen Brewer kids there now. 2 hr 56 min ago
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    • My dc is there from HGateway. He has friends from Mary McDowell, Gaynor and ICT in publics, ms privates, really a huge range. I also know families from weds, community, summit...(more) 2 hr 29 min ago
      so there is also movement within sn schools
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    • Lots of kids from Aaron go there. Parkside, WEDS 1 hr ago
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  10. Special Needs NP recommendations for NYC? TIA..HFA "on the cusp" dd 8 hr 31 min ago (18 replies)
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    • age? 8 hr 7 min ago
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      • Just turned 4 6 hr 54 min ago
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        • Are you sure you need an NP? I ask b/c the fees are high and there are so many things that cannot be tested in a child so young. For our turning 5 process we did an evaluation c/o...(more) 3 hr 20 min ago
          Center for Autism and the Developing Brain. It was covered by our insurance because it is largely diagnostic - the ADOS, ADI (for autism), cognitive testing and functional speech/language testing. Also, at this point I'd wait to do a full NP if you decide to do one until later in the summer (or even early fall) to get the latest possible picture as you plan for K.
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    • We saw Chaya Gopin at Weill-Cornell, I felt she really "got" ds. 8 hr 4 min ago
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    • David Salsberg 7 hr 45 min ago
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      • ITA - Salsberg is great with this kind of profile and he is highly regarded 7 hr 35 min ago
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        • I agree. He's Dr. Cusp! 7 hr 34 min ago
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          • np, I know of a few cases where he has been way off with this profile and that worries me 6 hr 54 min ago
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            • np: ds has been to him twice although at 4, we walked away with just "immaturity", went back at 8 and got ADHD inattentive diagnosis, it was simply age and time and I really think...(more) 6 hr 47 min ago
              Salsberg's approach and findings were great both times.
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              • ^and also, he will concentrate on recommendations/support needed even if no formal diagnosis, I found him great w/school placement whether is was SN private, mainstream private or...(more) 6 hr 44 min ago
                public.
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                • He is good but expensive. I am sure there are other qualified others who charge less. 3 hr 32 min ago
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                  • He charges market rate. Not any more or less expensive than most NPs and I know people who have spent more on other people. 3 hr 31 min ago
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                    • How much does he charge? 3 hr 29 min ago
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                      • we have not needed a full neuropsych for years now, he charges us $3500 for psychoeducational updates. 36 min ago
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                  • For what we paid, it wasn't anymore than what other NP's wanted to charge. The 2nd NP 4 years later was $3100. 2 hr 56 min ago
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            • Bullshit 1 hr ago
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              • I am sorry but are you from his office? Why this aggressive stance to other peoples experience? What is it about that posters claim that you know is BS? 40 min ago
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      • There is nobody better in NYC. Nobody. 59 min ago
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  11. Special Needs I have a white noisemaker because of outdoor street noise. i am finding that i am not able to focus when i turn it on at home, leaving a no win situation for being productive,...(more) 8 hr 47 min ago (3 replies)
    despite medicine. do you think the frequency of the white noise maker is interfering iwht my focus if i have adhd?
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    • why not just play music? 8 hr 47 min ago
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      • good idea.. i have tried this, but it just doesn't work for me. i moved last year and have not been able to find my 'flow' in this new home, wondering if its from the street noise...(more) 8 hr 39 min ago
        and white noise maker that is now on all the time.
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        • I hate white noise. makes me feel unsettled. 7 hr 4 min ago
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  12. Special Needs Please recommend a developmental per in Queens, preferably one who takes insurance. Thanks. 8 hr 54 min ago (7 replies)
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    • I mean "pediatrician" 8 hr 54 min ago
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    • find me a dev ped who takes insurance and I'll find you a unicorn at the end of a rainbow 8 hr 52 min ago
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    • There is one in Queens who takes insurance (or used to). Not 100% sure of the name...Pravil I think? Do a search - his name used to come up a while ago. 8 hr 44 min ago
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      • Prashil Govind 8 hr 32 min ago
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        • np we went to him for a long time and he's really thoughtful and great. 7 hr 58 min ago
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    • People mostly go to LIJ from Queens. Avoid Dr. Narayan, the other dev peds there are supposed to be decent. 8 hr 3 min ago
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    • Asma Sadiq in Manhattan 7 hr 33 min ago
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  13. Special Needs Did anyone try the gluten free dairy free...(more) 9 hr 20 min ago (19 replies)
    diet for your child, and did it help them in any way? Our doctor recommended it, saying that it does help some ASD kids.
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    • I can't imagine. Our ASD dc eats basically only dairy or gluten-containing foods. Enforcing that diet would be hell. 9 hr 4 min ago
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      • i replied below as the "we began...." and prior to that time our son lived on milk, yogurt, cheese, pasta, and bread. if you want to try something, it'll happen. within weeks of...(more) 5 hr 56 min ago
        going gfcf our child ate a wide variety of fruits, veggies, beans, meats, and fish that were not touched previously.
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    • it helps very few and it's all anecdotal evidence 8 hr 45 min ago
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      • our ped (not a DAN dr) disagrees with you. 7 hr 36 min ago
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        • And every study does agree with me. There are none showing benefit. 5 hr 36 min ago
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    • unless your child has issues with either there is no reason to do so 7 hr 51 min ago
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    • Yes and yes. Ds slept through the night for the first time (at 3 years old) when we removed dairy. We have been doing the diet for a while and tried to slowly re0introduce...(more) 7 hr 37 min ago
      foods. We will keep dairy out for the foreseeable future, but I was curious about gluten. He was never a kid who craved gluten-rich foods. He can handle a little now and again, but his behavior totally changed when we made the gluten a more frequent dietary item. He stuttered more, stimmed more, had poorer eye contact. He has been GF again now for 3 weeks and the difference is very noticeable. I don't think it is for everyone, but it definitely works for ds.
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      • ^^AND - ironically, prior to the diet, he was VERY limited in what he would eat. Once we got everything out of his system, his palate and tolerance for food textures really...(more) 7 hr 35 min ago
        expanded. He eats a healthier and more balanced diet than most adults I know. It's not hard to do once you get in the groove.
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    • yes. didn't help us. stuck with it for 9 months 7 hr 36 min ago
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    • yes - very hard for her. 7 hr 36 min ago
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    • we began 2/28/09 and will never ever let our child eat gluten again. we saw a huge sustained improvement across teh board in our child's behavior and speech that began when we...(more) 5 hr 57 min ago
      made this change. we have also maintained an almost entirely dairy free diet but that is because another person in the family has a profound dairy allergy. my dc can tolerate dairy but we pretty much avoid it so our experience is 100% gluten free, roughly 99% dairy free. yes, try it. worst case is you've had a hard eating month or two while you try to find out if this is something to do.
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      • How old is dc and what is he like now? 5 hr 34 min ago
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      • Did you change diet based on some test? Or just out of the blue? Wondering if I should try it for DS.. 43 min ago
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    • I would not bother unless dc also has digestive issues 5 hr 35 min ago
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    • we did elimination diet that was gfdf and we saw dramatic changes, especially in the early restricted phase before tinkering and adding on this and that. that hardest part is that...(more) 5 hr 14 min ago
      others, teachers, peers, parents seem constantly annoyed that dc have a diet that takes alot of thought or is different than their diet. it worked for my dc but this is the most stressful part about it and my dc actually was willing to comply.
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      • np: what type of dramatic changes did you see, what was dc like before and after? 3 hr 56 min ago
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    • We tried it for years. It did nothing. 59 min ago
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  14. Special Needs For those who pursued pendency for DC, can I ask a few questions about what it's really like? First, how much did it actually cost in lawyers fees? If you won the case, how much...(more) 9 hr 27 min ago (9 replies)
    of that was reimbursed? And how often did you have to appear in court, and was it a full day in court or half day- were you able to work for half a day on those days? trying to understand what this would actually look like. TIA
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    • We just did pendency. Lawyer fees vary but for mine was about $9K. You only get reimbursed if taken to hearing and win. We did not have to go to court at all because the DOE...(more) 7 hr 22 min ago
      settled. If they had taken us to hearing, we would have had to. I hope this helps.
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      • yes, this helps. I just want to make sure I understand...so for you, the DOE settled and you didn't have to go to hearing, but you also didn't re-coup your lawyers fees? Also,...(more) 7 hr 14 min ago
        at what point in the school year did they settle with you? And if you don't mind me asking, do you have a sense of why your case was settled rather than taken to hearing? thx!
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        • Yes that's correct, I didn't recoup the lawyer fees. They actually just agreed to dismiss the case (by settling) a few weeks ago. But before the final decision was made, they...(more) 6 hr 25 min ago
          still had to continue paying for all of the services. As for why no hearing, I don't know if there's much rhyme or reason to it, but we had a pretty strong case. I don't know the statistics but I do think that most pendency cases end up settling. The lawyer would have more information on that.
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          • OK, thanks, that makes sense. So that means that your case settled and you will continue to receive the preschool services through the end of June? 6 hr 12 min ago
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            • Yes that's right 5 hr 56 min ago
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              • settled--4,000 fee for lawyer 3 hr 31 min ago
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                • wow, that's a lot less than what I was quoted (which is more like what the OR said). Which lawyer did you use? 2 hr 31 min ago
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                  • I asked the lawyer gor a fee reduction based on my financial situstikn and rate was reduced....(more) 29 min ago
                    I also had a good and easy case because the psychologist on iep meeting admitted my son was not ready For k and could use another year to develop
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    • Did it a few years ago, $7000 and we went to hearing and won. We got some of our lawyer fees back, but it took several years to get those back 1 hr 49 min ago
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  15. Special Needs Poster from below re sn ds who has a lot of screen time when home on weekend days. What do your sn dcs do when they are home on weekend or vacation days? I know we all try to...(more) 10 hr 2 min ago (6 replies)
    schedule our kids as much as possible but inevitably there are days that they are home for a good portion of the day. My question is what do your dc do during this down time? How much do you engage your sn dc when home?
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    • You need to post the sn, because we're all different. Also, I am 100% positive that whatever you're doing, it's enough, and your kid is engaged enough, and you're a fine mom. 9 hr 59 min ago
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      • op, thanks, I need that. I have had a lot going on recently and I am very stressed. Ds has NVLD and ADHD. 9 hr 57 min ago
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    • My 9 yo hyperlexic will happily curl up with a book all day, or start messing around with a "science experiment", will do board games if anyone is free to play with him. 5 yo...(more) 9 hr 50 min ago
      doesn't read well yet, likes Wii or computer phonics games, or toy trains.
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      • I don't mind screen time if it's active/interactive (Wii, Minecraft, etc.) or they are having conversations with real-live people about what they are watching and playing. 9 hr 50 min ago
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    • I have 2 DC, one with dyslexia and HFA, they play together a lot when home - making up games, we read to SN DD all the time b/c she doesn't read well enough yet to read alone the...(more) 9 hr 47 min ago
      books that interest her, we play games, she plays with dolls, etc
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    • My dc play together and get screen time on weekends. On weekdays they don't have time so I let them watch a lot on weekends, especially before dh and I get up. They are 4yo and...(more) 9 hr 39 min ago
      6yo, neither can read much yet. Dh and I occasionally play with them, but mostly they play together. When it warms up we spend all our time in the backyard or a community garden on our block.
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  16. Special Needs Before my DS was diagnosed dyslexia, a mom in our preschool was 'snickering' about another mom whose DC had a SEIT. This mom is in my social group (I never seek her out...(more) 10 hr 6 min ago (13 replies)
    individually) but everytime I see her I remember her saying that and think she's gross and low class. Ugh.
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    • just ignorant 10 hr 5 min ago
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    • who would snicker about this? 10 hr 5 min ago
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    • I had a similar situation with a mom mocking a dc's one to one. 10 hr 5 min ago
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    • when my kids were young, and i had more occasions when i was with other moms, so often people said stupid, bigoted things that made a bell go off. Ding! racist. Ding! classist....(more) 10 hr 4 min ago
      not interested in the ding people.
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    • I'd be laying in wait to smack her down. 10 hr 2 min ago
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    • My BFF changed so much when she married her DH. He's so racist and prejudiced. She started acting like him and would always make fun of the kids "on the little yellow bus". Now...(more) 9 hr 33 min ago
      She has five kids and four of them have issues. The 2nd to youngest has CP. Unfortunately this hasn't changed her views on kids with issues 😞
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    • my ds is in an ict class at a different school then my friends. I was at a dinner party where the women were making fun of the kids in an ict class at their kids school. these...(more) 9 hr 30 min ago
      are my "friends". Its like they forgot that my kid is in a class like that too. I was so fucking offended.
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      • People are stupid assholes 9 hr 27 min ago
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      • Jesus. Did you say anything? 9 hr 26 min ago
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      • Oh my god! 9 hr 25 min ago
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      • OMG - I would have said something. And may well have left. I don't need that shit. 8 hr 37 min ago
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        • I didnt say anything because they were all girls from my neighborhood and I didnt want to get into a thing. I mean, I did defend the kids, just didnt bring it back to relate to...(more) 8 hr 21 min ago
          mine. my ds had dyslexia so doesn't look or act in a way that stands out. I did tell my 2 close friends that were there how upset I was the next day.
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          • ^^i feel like I may have misrepresented. They weren't so much making fun of these kids as complaining about some of their behaviors and how they were impacting their own kids. But...(more) 8 hr 13 min ago
            in a funny, meant to be entertaining way. They were doing some socially unacceptable things like nose picking and stuff like that. I actually find it hard to believe that the teachers wouldn't have been all over this stuff.
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  17. Special Needs What do your elemetary aged sn dcs do when they are home? I feel like I should be trying to play/engage ds when we are home on weekend days but I always have so much to do since...(more) 10 hr 11 min ago (17 replies)
    I work all week. Ds is content to play on the ipad, wii or watch tv and I allow him to but feel incredibly guilty.
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    • SN or not. I minimize screen time. 30-60 minutes tops. It really hurts them. 10 hr 11 min ago
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      • so what do your dc do when they are home all day? my dc don't like to read. 10 hr 9 min ago
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        • np: maybe that's because they can just play on the ipad or tv instead..... 10 hr 7 min ago
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          • op, no, sn ds has a significant ld and poor comprehension. NT ds just does not like to read but will do his hw reading. fwiw, i am an avid reader and always read in front of the...(more) 10 hr 5 min ago
            kids. However, dh is not a reader
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        • they eventually turn to books. but they horse around a lot, hang out with the neighbors, play real games - anything with cards is great (Top Trumps, Monopoly Deal etc) 10 hr 2 min ago
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          • op, so they play with each other then? 9 hr 59 min ago
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    • depends on SN imo 10 hr 10 min ago
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    • how old? neither my NT or SN kid would get screen time everyday. 10 hr 8 min ago
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      • 9 y/o. What do they do then? Ds doesn't have any local friends (he goes to a sn school) so play dates are hard. 10 hr 6 min ago
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        • we try to take our dss somewhere - hike, bouncy house, zoo, etc. 10 hr 5 min ago
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        • sometimes they have a scheduled activity--sports or chess or something. other times, they do whatever my sitter or i have to do that afternoon, along with us. when they're at home...(more) 10 hr 4 min ago
          with downtime, which is really just a few hours before dinner time, they read, play, do homework. I don't play with them if I'm home, I have other stuff to do. If I had an only child, I'd probably organize more play dates.
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    • we try to schedule him as much as possible because he won't play on his own. He will play chess at home, occasional drawing; otherwise fighting with his brother or playing ipad 10 hr 6 min ago
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      • OMG, this is my ds! 10 hr 4 min ago
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      • op, i try to schedule ds too but it is inevitable that there are days when he is home for most of the day. 10 hr 4 min ago
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        • it is a problem in the cold months for us as well. When it gets warm I make him go outside, he can spend hours collecting rocks or whatnot 10 hr 2 min ago
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          • do you play with your dc a lot then? 9 hr 56 min ago
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    • legos, puzzles, art projects, baking projects 8 hr 5 min ago
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  18. Special Needs Help! 4YO HFA has been diagnozed with Developmental Apraxia of speech...He already gets 3x ST with a CPSE SLP who does PROMPT..is there anything else I should be doing? 10 hr 19 min ago (13 replies)
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    • what kind of school does he attend? we did center based preschool at that age. also, does he get other therapy? special instruction/play therapy? anything? 10 hr 17 min ago
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      • MS with SEIT..gets OT in addition to ST 9 hr 15 min ago
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    • DS was mis diagnosed w/that when he was 2. but in my research, we did fish oil daily. supposed to be good. 10 hr ago
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      • Thanks! What was your DSs eventual dx 9 hr 12 min ago
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    • Were all these diagnoses based on the same eval? Asking, b/c our neuro told us that at preschool age it can be hard to tell whether ASD or apraxia. Our ds was "maybe spectrum...(more) 9 hr 53 min ago
      until his T5 dev ped eval (where it was ruled out in favor of dyspraxia/SPD).
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      • no separate eval w SLP got us the new diagnosis 9 hr 13 min ago
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    • The PROMPT ST is the right things for apraxia. Does he have any other issues going on with it? Some apraxic kids are also affected in their motor/muscle tone. 9 hr 48 min ago
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      • He does have low muscle tone...borderline ASD according to ADOS but definitely spectrummy 9 hr 13 min ago
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        • Per our neuro, hypotonia (low muscle tone) affects sensory development, SPD is often comorbid. You get some behaviors that seem "spectrummy" from the sensory issues, but they...(more) 8 hr 2 min ago
          don't necessarily mean ASD.
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          • I have a dyspraxic low/tone kid with sensory issues, in 12:1 K after CPSE preschool. As of last spring's eval, ASD ruled out. He does a program of ST/OT/PT and adaptive phys....(more) 8 hr ago
            ed.
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        • If he is apraxic, ADOS may not be very reliable at this age. Social/play/communication schools are limited by the speech impediment, you have to see where he is when the PROMPT...(more) 6 hr 53 min ago
          therapy gets him talking. He may catch up once he can communicate.
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          • Ugh, skills, not schools. 6 hr 52 min ago
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            • How good is PROMPT SLP. My child had severe apraxia which resolved at 4.4 PROMPT 4 X 45 with certified SLPS. They were REALLY good--Julie Silberman and Jackie Dolson. 3 hr 29 min ago
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  19. Special Needs Do you tell friends and family that DC is special needs? I have a DS with a LD (language based) and anxiety. Sometimes the anxiety is off the charts 10 hr 21 min ago (9 replies)
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    • Some know and some do not. Ds has an LD (processing) and adhd. 10 hr 21 min ago
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    • Has special needs. Special needs isn't an adjective, please. Yes, I do tell everyone who asks. Mostly because they haven't heard of his school, and I say, "it's a school for...(more) 10 hr 20 min ago
      dyslexic kids."
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    • Yes. Ds has Autism (formerly Asperger's). I talk about it openly. It has helped some understand him (even though I do get the regular "he seems fine to me") and also creates...(more) 10 hr 17 min ago
      awareness about HFA in general. I never want ds to feel ashamed and I am very matter of fact about it.
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      • People still have Asperger's, it just isn't coded that way in systems that use the DSM. It was always part of the autism spectrum, even when it had a specific diagnostic code. 9 hr 47 min ago
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        • OR: I realize that, however I say Autism, as it is on the spectrum and for some reason many people think that it is not ASD. 7 hr 33 min ago
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    • Yes, and the more people who know, the happier we ALL were - the anxiety goes away gradually as your dc becomes a known quantity and the mystery and secrecy fades. 10 hr 15 min ago
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    • when we moved to the burbs ds had a seit in preschool. I was very open and matter of fact about it because I knoew if I was hush hush about it, they would speak behind my back....(more) 10 hr 11 min ago
      my ds has adhd. he was dx at 4.5yo. it is what it is but there was no hiding it. he also has dyslexia which we only recently found out about...
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    • Sometimes, if it's relevant. I usually just say he has some issues 10 hr 8 min ago
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    • My DD is a teen and she doesn't like me to say so I don't tell people unless it is obvious. She is dyslexic...(more) 2 hr 58 min ago
      and sometimes she will tell people herself, sometimes not.
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  20. Special Needs Do most kids that go to Summit come from MS schools? I know 3 that have been accept for Sept. 2 from ICT, 1 from ASD nest. 10 hr 25 min ago (3 replies)
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    • Of our class of 12 I think only one came from NYC MS, the rest from NYC SN schools or suburbs 10 hr 18 min ago
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    • Know three neighbor kids who have gone there. Two transferred from public g&t, one from gen ed public. 7 hr 28 min ago
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    • No. Many from Gillen Brewer, Parkside, Aaron go to Summit. 56 min ago
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  21. Special Needs Can anyone tell me about 12:1 classes in the city. My ds new IEP says 12:1 but we want to keep him in his LD private where he's thriving. Someone said there are barely any 12:1 in...(more) 10 hr 59 min ago (48 replies)
    The city. Can anyone elaborate and give me info. We are still going to fight this but I want to be ready and also get more of an insight into this. My ds has on,y LD with no behavior issues.
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    • We have a 12:1:1 class is that what you mean? They mix the grades though. 10 hr 55 min ago
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      • The IEP says 12:1 so I'm not sure if that's the same 9 hr 39 min ago
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        • it's not the same. A 12:1 is just 1 teacher to 12 kids. A 12:1:1 is 1 teacher, 1 assistant teacher and 12 kids. 8 hr 43 min ago
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        • There are 12:1:1 and 12:1:2 or 12:1:4 classes. 12:1 usually means 12:1:1 unless otherwise specified. 7 hr 21 min ago
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          • 12:1 and 12:1:1 in community school are different placements 7 hr 20 min ago
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          • No there are just 12:1 placements too! 5 hr 32 min ago
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          • Where are you getting your information from? 5 hr 31 min ago
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    • Talk to your attorney about this. We are offered a 12:1:1 every year and tour it and they have never had an appropriate placement for us once. 10 hr 54 min ago
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      • There has been a big push from the mayor's office/DOE to get schools to offer appropriate classes, even if they do not have a full class' worth of students who need that setting. 9 hr 39 min ago
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        • I know all about the reform, there's still never been anything appropriate for my dc, it's never been a set of peers with similar cognitive skills and a teacher who knows how to...(more) 9 hr 37 min ago
          teach my dc
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          • What profile are you looking for? 9 hr 20 min ago
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      • Thx...when you toured what did you think and see in this type of environment ? 9 hr 38 min ago
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        • I thought the teachers were very nice and well meaning but the classrooms did not have what my dc needed and the huge school, cafeteria, recess - hundreds and hundreds of kids -...(more) 9 hr 36 min ago
          totally overwhelming
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          • Gotcha. 9 hr 36 min ago
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          • Did you talk to any parents? How well they protect and shepherd the SN kids in public school varies a lot. Some of it is school culture. Some schools are more on top of bullying...(more) 8 hr 4 min ago
            prevention and teaching social skills, etc. than others. Our school has older students who volunteer to look out for littler or SN kids on the bus, at lineup, etc.
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    • There are plenty of 12:1:1 programs, however they are a real mixed bag in terms of composition. You can have a kid with CP, a kid with ASD, an ED kid all in the same room. I...(more) 10 hr 14 min ago
      have the utmost admiration for those teachers. IT must be incredibly difficult to know how to work with so many different profiles.
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      • Op: my ds NP Eval says he should not be placed in a mixed bag type of class but be in a class with kids who are cognitively on the same level and also have LD issues 9 hr 37 min ago
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        • Then 12:1:1 public is NOT the right place 7 hr 32 min ago
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        • NP eval will describe the ideal, best imaginable setting, not the only one in which your dc can succeed. 7 hr 32 min ago
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          • I so disagree with this. It's not some fancy ideal. It's the appropriate classroom for a dc. 7 hr 31 min ago
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            • yes but what a public school has to provide under FAPE is not what the NP suggests 3 hr 24 min ago
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          • Op: my dc was already in a ms preschool for three yrs with a very low teacher: student ratio and he was lost. He is now thriving in a LD school and I will fight to keep him there 6 hr 51 min ago
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        • A good elementary 12:1 provides differentiation--they tend to break out into smaller groups, one with teacher, one with aide, and one working independently, and they rotate. Gen...(more) 7 hr 29 min ago
          ed classes do this too, because dc in those classes are not universally at the same level.
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          • We did not find a 12:1 class that was for dyslexic kids and taught every subject in a multi-sensory way w/3 hours of OG instruction like at LD school. Not one. They had a mixture...(more) 2 hr 54 min ago
            of kids, not just kids w/language based LDs. Public school had totally failed to teach DD to read and did not fight us at all on going SN.
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        • Why does he need the exact same level and SN across the entire class? Even SN schools often don't do that. 7 hr 23 min ago
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          • Because if this kid is in a class with kids that have behavior issues or more substantial issues than he does, then he will bethe kid would doesn't need the help oats toon from...(more) 6 hr 49 min ago
            the teacher. Who wants their kid to fall through cracks. She said he's strictly LD and no behavior
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            • ^^^damn iPad. Meant he will be that kid that doesn't get the help from the teacher as much as he needs because teacher will be too busy trying to calm some tantrum, etc 6 hr 46 min ago
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              • Kids who are that behavioral have their own paras, who are responsible for dealing with them when they have meltdowns. Not the main classroom teacher so much. 6 hr 16 min ago
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                • Np: my dd had a kid with constant meltdowns in her PreK Class. This boy had a SEIt but his meltdowns did affect her. She has her own LD and the distraction was constant. What...(more) 5 hr 29 min ago
                  happens to those kids that get easily distracted and have this type of distraction in their class? I would prefer her to not have that be a constant
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    • You need to inquire at your zoned school and find out what they offer. We are in a 12:1:1 in public school, where the dc all share speech and language issues albeit different...(more) 9 hr 44 min ago
      diagnoses and comorbid issues. I had no idea this was available until I started doing my hw before Turning 5 process. They rarely have this sort of info on the websites.
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      • We are in D1 so there is no set zone school 9 hr 36 min ago
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        • then the placement officer for your district will send you a letter naming a school - once that happens you need to visit ASAP. In the meantime if there's any way to get a look at...(more) 9 hr 33 min ago
          some schools' 12:1:1 classes that will be educational and helpful for you.
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          • Thx 9 hr 32 min ago
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            • Lean on your lawyer, mine is very helpful in telling me what to be looking for when I tour a public placement. 9 hr 31 min ago
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          • Is there a difference between 12:1 and 12:1:1? The IEP says 12:1 9 hr 31 min ago
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            • Yes, 12:1:1 means a para as well as a teacher. So they will need to send you to a classroom without a para (as that would be more restrictive than what is on your IEP). 9 hr 31 min ago
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              • So when another SN mom told me that there are very few 12:1 classes maybe she was right 9 hr 29 min ago
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                • ^^^ maybe there are more 12:1:1 options 9 hr 29 min ago
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              • Would a 12:1 be one teacher and 12kids? 9 hr 28 min ago
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                • Yes. And maybe that is what your friend meant because 12:1:1 is more common than 12:1 IME. 9 hr 27 min ago
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                • Cap of 12, they are often not full in public school. My ds' 12:1:1 has 9 students. 7 hr 57 min ago
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              • SN school is even more restrictive than that. I've seen 12:1 simply used as short for 12:1:1, I've never heard of a 12-child cap class in public that didn't have an aide. 7 hr 24 min ago
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                • Yes there are those classes. Friend of mine was assigned to 12:1 and the city sent her to placements all over the place because they're rarer than 12:1:1. 7 hr 20 min ago
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                • Yes they exist 5 hr 32 min ago
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      • Are there many classes like this in the city? We were not told of any. 2 hr 52 min ago
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    • np: there are lots of 12:1:1 classes, both in community schools and in D75. 9 hr 37 min ago
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  22. Special Needs I'm looking for some SN board wisdom here. 6yo ds is dyspraxic, low tone, lots of anxiety. We're on our 3rd round of swim private swim lessons in 3 years, all with lovely patient...(more) 11 hr 4 min ago (9 replies)
    swim instructors. He still tantrums at the beginning of the lesson, then begrudgingly gets into the water and sort of half-asses all the drills/skills, despite sticker charts for compliance, lollipop rewards, etc. He will still barely put his chin in the water. It's time to sign up for another round of lessons, and dh and I are wondering if we should just forget it, and instead go to the pool this summer a lot and run the same drills with him ourselves. Any thoughts?
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    • That is what I would do because he may just not be mature enough to handle it. My dd is the same but age 4. 11 hr 3 min ago
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      • Yes, maturity seems to be a lot of it. 11 hr 2 min ago
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        • Are you doing PT for low tone? We just started about a month ago. 11 hr 2 min ago
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          • We've done it since age 2yo. Now gets it 1x/month in school. He wants to do karate, so I'm thinking the money spent on swimming might be better spent on something he actually...(more) 11 hr ago
            wants to do.
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            • ^^^ (It's just that karate doesn't help you if you fall into a pool.) 10 hr 59 min ago
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            • I'd take a break from swimming until he's made some progress on the anxiety. My dyspraxic who is almost 6 loves the water, but just graduated from his swim level and is starting...(more) 9 hr 41 min ago
              karate at his fervent request this week. Both are good for tone and coordination.
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    • I don't think it hurts to take a break from lessons but have him at the pool and let him enjoy playing in the water. 11 hr 1 min ago
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      • He loves the pool! But he just wants to free play in the shallow end, not take lessons. 11 hr ago
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        • Take a break, but work on stuff with him. You can always start lessons again 10 hr 58 min ago
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  23. Special Needs I thought some of you may find this a nice read. It's happend to me/my son once or twice so it made me smile....(more) 14 hr 17 min ago (2 replies)
    • awww. 14 hr 14 min ago
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    • That is very nice evidence of an awareness program the NT kid in the story experienced. Awareness makes a big difference and it helps kids grow into aware and more accepting...(more) 14 hr 7 min ago
      adults!
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  24. Special Needs Any YBM peeps from Wilton, ct or neighboring towns? Want to relocate to suburb in CT soon, and prices in this town have really dropped! Anyone know why? Also, how are schools...(more) 14 hr 30 min ago (8 replies)
    here if you have LD/ADHD KIDS? Thanks!
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    • I have a good friend at work who lives in Wilton. Although her kid is NT, she speaks very highly of SN services for kids. (I guess her friends have SN kids, although I believe...(more) 14 hr 22 min ago
      it's ASD in that case)
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    • I live pretty close by in Darien and can try to help. Schools vary by town depending on sn and severity thereof. There have been lots of publicized problems with sped in my town...(more) 13 hr 25 min ago
      but my dc has thrived here and gotten all that he needs and we've never had a problem. So, reputations aren't always easy to discern! As for property prices - are you sure you are doing apples/apples? That is, off season sales (during school year) are generally driven by different factors than in season sales (timed for summer moves). I think the property markets in the towns I follow (Darien, New Canaan, and Rowayton) are tracking upwards in prices and volume of transactions and downwards in terms of length of listings. So the market is pretty hot in my eyes. I'm not here all the time but I'll keep this stickied so you can ask me more questions. For starters, what sn are you dealing with? That might affect where you look. FYI, Wilton has one elementary for preschool and k-2, a second for 3-5, one middle school for 6-8, and one high school. I think that structure is probably good for a lot of sn kids as it means there is a greater concentration of specialized
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      • (cont) resources at each location. The key con is that it means you'd have to swithc schools after 3rd. 13 hr 22 min ago
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      • Hi, Really appreciate your help here! I am a NYC mom with 2 boys 10 & 12. Older son has Pretty severe ADHD and LD and really suffered in the UES Public school. He's in a SN...(more) 13 hr 6 min ago
        school now and doing really well, but now founder boy was also found to have LD (auditory processing probe) and ADD. NYC apartment life is beyond stressful and hoping to find a nice town with supportive schools in CT. Thanks so much again for help!
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        • Sorry, meant younger son now diagnosed with ADD and Auditory processing problems. I really need to get out of NYC given the stressful apartment life and school issues but will be...(more) 12 hr 59 min ago
          taking older boy out of SN school so need tone sure that where i am going will have supportive SN programs in place.
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          • ok, so as you know we all tend to pay attention only to news about kids with sn such as our own or what good friends say. with that huge caveat, i've noticed after years of being...(more) 8 hr 14 min ago
            on numerous ct listserves for autism or fairfield county that the wilton parents tend to be happy. i've noticed that their kids range widely in needs and the parents do all have the resources (knowledge and financial) to fight for their kids and yet they aren't fighting. I should note by contrast that i know unhappy parents who are fighting in nearly all other nearby towns (greenwich, stamford, darien, new canaan, norwalk, westport, and fairfield) but in those towns there tend to be clearer ways to stereotype the reasons why the fighting is going on. So, I think that wilton does have its act together. That said, you might want to get responses from wilton parents to make sure you'll be ok. You should go on facebook and join the closed group "CT SPECIAL NEEDS FAMILIES NETWORKING GROUP". post a request for folks to pm you with comments as people may not post publicly. in my case, for ex, many of my dc's teachers are on there as parents from other towns.
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            • (cont'd) so you may find it helpful to tread carefully with what you say so that you don't inadvertently antagonize someone who may sit across from you at a ppt (iep meeting) in a...(more) 8 hr 11 min ago
              few months. my sense is that the towns that do sn best are the towns that recognize people don't move away from there - that is, darien, new canaan, wilton, ridgefield. If I'm understanding your kids in particular, it sounds like one has somewhat clearer issues than the other so you want a system where folks will develop longer-term relationships with your children that span many years. If that is the case, then the smaller system may work both for and against you. For you: the staff will be there for many years and can track your child again and again providing continuity. Against you: the impact of departures is more profound as staff don't always stay as many years as we like, and in a smaller pond it isn't always possible for all staff to be experts in narrower areas. hope this all helps. good luck.
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    • I have heard good things about Fairfield for spec needs. I don't know about Wilton 11 hr 30 min ago
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  25. Special Needs Anyone seen Rita -- drama from Denmark? Small storyline with child with asd who is counseled by school to alter behaviors to stay in ms school and one teacher who connects with...(more) 15 hr 31 min ago (0 replies)
    him suggests they consider either a smaller school or sn school where he can be himself and still learn... Was well done.
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