Special Needs

  1. Special Needs 6th grade ds doesn't want me around him when he walks to the bus stop. Am I...(more) 5 hr 55 min ago (3 replies)
    offended? No way! Hurray for being socially aware and carrying what others think!
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    • ? 5 hr 53 min ago
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      • My ds hasn't always noticed or understood social cues. It's finally kicking in ......(more) 5 hr 52 min ago
        though I think my post might have been clearer if I had said "caring" instead of "carrying!"
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    • That's great! 5 hr 52 min ago
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  2. Special Needs I am so down about ds. He is so immature and has a lot of developmental delays. He is 9.5 and acts so much younger than his age. Gets me so worried about his future. 7 hr 9 min ago (7 replies)
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    • Well, when he's 50 and acting 42 it won't be a problem! 6 hr 55 min ago
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    • i hear you. do you have any kind of support for yourself? 6 hr 53 min ago
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    • I understand. My dc isn't so much immature, but can't shake things off, hold grudges excessively. I worry about what adult life will be like for him, no matter how much we help...(more) 6 hr 52 min ago
      him with his ADHD. It's part of his anxiety, but not easily medicated... His school is trying to help but play dates can be great of disastrous....
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    • what's going on? anything in particular making you feel down? 6 hr 51 min ago
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      • I guess I always assumed he would be in a better place. He will be 10 in a few months and it's clear that his issues are here to stay. 6 hr 35 min ago
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        • Do you see any improvement? 5 hr 53 min ago
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    • I have been amazed by the difference in maturity in my SN DD after going through puberty and settling into adolescence. Even she is amazed. 3 hr 20 min ago
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  3. Special Needs Any opinions about Dr Marion Blank at Columbia? 7 hr 14 min ago (1 reply)
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  4. Special Needs Can someone give me a quick primer or a link? DD just dx with ADHD, going on Adderall. Is this a learning disability? Do I need to see about testing accommodations? Just trying...(more) 12 hr 11 min ago (2 replies)
    to understand.
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    • How old is your DD and is she hyper activie, inattentive or both? LDs can come with ADHD (comorbid) but ADHD is often "standalone" too. Once you see how she reacts to meds, you...(more) 11 hr 16 min ago
      can decide whether to pursue testing accommodations. (In my case, on meds, my son doesn't really need them)
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      • I have adhd and did not need accommodations on tests. It depends if the lack of focus is such that the student cannot concentrate on the test or gets too disdistracted if not in a...(more) 9 hr 55 min ago
        separate location for the test. If he's young see how he does.
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  5. Special Needs Would ADHD meds help a child that is constantly preoccupied with his own thoughts? 12 hr 18 min ago (3 replies)
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    • This post has been disliked 3 times. showYes. Anti-imagination drugs have come a long way. Good luck! 12 hr 17 min ago
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    • if so, let me know, i need to take some. my thoughts are so loud sometimes i can't even hold a conversation. i communicate brilliantly in writing but verbally i have to really...(more) 12 hr 9 min ago
      plan out what i'm going to say or be really distracted away from my own thoughts. argh
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    • totally depends on the reason why the child is preoccupied with his thoughts, if because of ADHD yes, if because of anxiety, there are meds for that too. If for OCD, maybe harder...(more) 11 hr 14 min ago
      to medicate. This is why a good doctor will suss it out.
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  6. Special Needs I wrote this to parents of kids in dcs class today:...(more) 12 hr 34 min ago (33 replies)
    "I just wanted to reach out to all of you about some of (dcs) behavior - in the hope that I can make it somewhat understandable (if not more tolerable!) The hardest times of the school day for Him are the ones least structured/most about free-form socializing - I.e. Morning drop-off and Recess. I'm sure at least some of you have witnessed a child sweetly saying "hi" to Him only to have him yell and them or worse. Over the years I've come to learn that there are many reasons for his reacting in this way - but none of them actually helps me to feel less horrified! In short, he doesn't read facial or vocal cues as easily as the typical person - and it results in his feeling threatened by even the kindest approach by another child. I want to let you all know that this is something my husband and I and various therapists have been working on for YEARS...but progress has been very slow. Please accept our apologies in advance for any of this behavior toward
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    • was there a request for this letter? I wouldn't mention the word "horrified" - you don't need to apologize for his behavior. 12 hr 33 min ago
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      • do you have a SN child? I think it's fine to say horrified. I'm often horrified by what my ds does and says 12 hr 33 min ago
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        • Dismayed is a better word - I just think "horrified" puts thoughts into people's heads that might not already be there. I, too, am sometimes horrified by my kid's behavior but I...(more) 12 hr 31 min ago
          wouildn't put that word in a letter
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        • Op: thanks :) 12 hr 30 min ago
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      • I know I shouldn't apologize - I am truly horrified though 12 hr 31 min ago
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        • listen. you need to get used to it. people can learn that not everyone reacts to things the same way. 12 hr 28 min ago
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          • Op: Can't seem to get used to it - after 5 years. Don't know how to let it go 12 hr 22 min ago
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      • No request ....just wanted to give blanket apology/explanation in hopes I'd feel less destroyed after every drop off. Sometimes I feel like I'm cracking. Cc has not improved at...(more) 12 hr 28 min ago
        all. I'm at a loss. Feel he will never understand how to make a friend
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    • I think that's fine to do. I'd understand if I received this. Of course, I have a SN kid too. :) 12 hr 33 min ago
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    • Op: I thought it would make me feel less freaked out - but I feel like an idiot. And, naturally, upset more people didn't say "oh we never noticed!" Jesus my denial is like...(more) 12 hr 33 min ago
      titanium.
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      • people are probably a little too taken aback, they probably didn't notice, and don't know what to say now. I understand why you did this, though. 11 hr 4 min ago
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        • Yes - and over last hour Got a lot of very nice responses by the way - 7 hr 24 min ago
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    • did something prompt this email? 12 hr 32 min ago
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    • Is this about Jesus misbehaving in class? I'm just curious at all the odd capitalization. 12 hr 32 min ago
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      • She's using Him instead of his real name so we'd know it was Him. 12 hr 30 min ago
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        • Op: yes, right 12 hr 28 min ago
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      • Cute. Speaking of Jesus, your compassion is notable. 12 hr 27 min ago
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    • I don't think you needed to apologize. Just explain, so they can help their kids understand. I might have asked the teacher to help, too instead of just sending this. 12 hr 30 min ago
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      • Op: I let teachers know I was sending it out. 12 hr 21 min ago
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        • OP: they're very careful in this school to not in any way publicly identify the SN kids from NT in the CTT classes. Of course THEY know who everyone is and what individual...(more) 7 hr 20 min ago
          struggles are - but they'd never have like a morning letting about a kid. I feel ok about reaching out to parents - it's going to help me to spend am feeling like I'm dodging dc land mines...now I'll just know that they've heard my piece and can deal with it on their own.
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          • Op: sorry typo city above! 7 hr 19 min ago
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    • It actually might be better if the teacher sent a note home telling the parents about this issue. It removes you from "blame" as it were, and makes it seem more official. 12 hr 29 min ago
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      • Teachers in this school not allowed to communicate individual student particulars by email or otherwise with class...(more) 12 hr 24 min ago
        But they're well aware and try to facilitate when they can.
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        • I actually think that's safer protocol. 12 hr 23 min ago
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    • i think it's thoughtful. 12 hr 29 min ago
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    • Op: forgot to mention it's an ICT class...40% SN... 12 hr 13 min ago
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    • I personally would change horrified to dismayed like the pp mentioned. Also, I wouldn't apologize but maybe ask for understanding if you feel like you have to say something. 11 hr 47 min ago
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      • OP: this is a very good suggestion - thank you 7 hr 17 min ago
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    • np: how old are kids in the class? I hope their parents help them understand that it's a heartflet letter and that a little kindness and understnading toward your son would go a...(more) 11 hr 11 min ago
      long way. Can you suggest BETTER times and ways to approach him, too?
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      • I would not send out that letter-setting yourself and your child up for a lot of potentail blowback. 8 hr 54 min ago
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        • poster from above--teacher should be sending this message to kids in class throughout the day and ay am meeting. I do not think it is your job. 8 hr 33 min ago
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      • Op: good point about suggesting alternate ways to approach dc...kids are 6/7 - 1st grade 7 hr 25 min ago
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  7. Special Needs I turned on msnbc to the school shooting coverage and they keep showing the same video of what is clearly the SN class running out of the high school. 13 hr 23 min ago (6 replies)
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    • That makes me really sad. 13 hr 22 min ago
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      • there s comfort in seeing every one of them with at least one adult running out with them. but god it is is heartbreaking 13 hr 19 min ago
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    • That's awful. Terrible enough for NT kids, but must be magnified for the SN class 13 hr 18 min ago
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      • agreed. and i don't want to project but at least one of them looked distressed 13 hr 15 min ago
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        • That's not projecting-/it's compassion 13 hr 14 min ago
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          • thanks. i forgot I was posting on SN & you all would know why this particular footage was so upsetting and realize I wasn't making it "all about me" or being a "tragedy whore.& 13 hr 12 min ago
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  8. Special Needs Any Catholic high schools particularly good for LD kids? 17 hr 29 min ago (13 replies)
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    • do you have a boy? 17 hr 28 min ago
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      • ^If so, I can be fairly specific. 17 hr 24 min ago
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    • Nope. Your LD dc needs a place where they understand kids learn differently...that is not how catholic schools teach. Btdt as a kid into Hs and I have LD. What a f'ing struggle 15 hr 38 min ago
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      • I'm so disappointed to hear it. I thought maybe there were some like Sacred Heart that was very nurturing to kids with LDs. 15 hr 28 min ago
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        • Well you can inquire at sacred heart...ask if they have an academic support dept. Ask if they have learning specialist. If they don't have learning specialist on staff that would...(more) 15 hr 11 min ago
          worry me
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          • Agree. My DD is dyslexic and struggled miserably until she went to a school for dyslexics. 13 hr 4 min ago
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    • Would you consider boarding school? My LD dd told me she loves her boarding school and loves the academic support that she gets from her teachers and her advisor. 15 hr 36 min ago
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      • No, she really doesn't want to do boarding. I'm not ready either! 15 hr 28 min ago
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        • (what school does your dd go to though? we did look at Solebury and Oakwood) 15 hr 28 min ago
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          • Solebury and her friend with LD is at Oakwood friends and loves it 15 hr 11 min ago
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            • ^^ive mentioned this in other posts..I loved the academic support at trevor and LREI 15 hr 10 min ago
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    • Why Catholic? We are Catholic and hoped for a Catholic school but due to LDs had to give up that dream for now. 15 hr 16 min ago
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  9. Special Needs Please recommend an education consultant in Long Island. Thank you. 17 hr 46 min ago (0 replies)
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  10. Special Needs Is it normal for schools to charge extra to be on a school sports team? $750 to be on JV Basketball in middle school? I remember school team sports being included in tuition. I...(more) 18 hr 30 min ago (22 replies)
    have sticker shock!
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    • this is a private? 18 hr 30 min ago
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      • SN school 18 hr 28 min ago
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        • OP: And I totally understand our high tuition for this SN school. We've scraped everything together to pay the full tuition and are suing for reimbursement, so this just seems...(more) 18 hr 26 min ago
          excessive.
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          • it totally is. 18 hr 23 min ago
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          • Is it a funded school or not funded. Our funded school does not have much money. 13 hr 17 min ago
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    • that's crazy. I've never heard of that. education should not be a l carte. 18 hr 29 min ago
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      • Makes it feel unequal. Certainly not all the families can afford this 18 hr 26 min ago
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    • IT'S $50 FOR US. 18 hr 28 min ago
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      • free in ms privates 18 hr 26 min ago
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        • THAT'S NICE 18 hr 25 min ago
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          • why all caps on your replies? 18 hr 25 min ago
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          • It certainly is since we receive financial aid! 16 hr 58 min ago
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    • Its insane isnt it. I know what school you're talking about. And it sucks to have to scrape together money to try and pay for this AFTER paying sky high tuition. 18 hr 24 min ago
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      • seems like a slap in the face, right? 18 hr 23 min ago
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        • And again, I completely understand the rationale for the high tuition. I do whatever we can to get that $$ together. But then to add this on for a team? 18 hr 22 min ago
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          • Yea its a struggle to do this. The only reason I manage it is cause ex dh pays half. I would like to know WHY it costs so much. 18 hr 20 min ago
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          • is it a supervised afterschool activity also? how many days a week does the $750 cover? this is at least close, though still high, to the cost of a once a week middle school...(more) 18 hr 6 min ago
            afterschool class.
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    • No, it is not normal. 18 hr 18 min ago
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    • i have 3 kids in 3 schools. 1 (nt) charges $200 for the season. the other two, including the SN, do not. I have had to pay for shirts and other equipment, however 18 hr 7 min ago
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    • Nt dc's school I Claude's it in tuition. Sn dc's school charges for uniforms. Depending on the sport it is miminal 13 hr 28 min ago
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    • Our school charges but not as much as that. Sports can be very expensive and other parents don't feel they should pay for someone else's child to play sports when their child is...(more) 13 hr 5 min ago
      not athletic, for example, so people pay their own for what they do but there is a fund to pay for those who can't afford it.
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  11. Special Needs Has anyone tried broccoli supplements for ASD child? Friend is trying it and has had good results. ANyone else? 19 hr 43 min ago (8 replies)
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  12. Special Needs Can anyone recommend a great CBT therapist in NYC for kids with anxiety? I know the guy everyone recommended moved away - anyone else? 19 hr 49 min ago (5 replies)
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    • Nick recommended John Silvestre for upper west side people and his colleague down on e33rd for those in that area 19 hr 47 min ago
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      • op - sorry, do you mean his colleagues at the center for CBT on 36th street? 19 hr 46 min ago
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      • We saw John. While he's good a CBT not so appropriate for young dc ( mine was 5). 18 hr 53 min ago
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  13. Special Needs Anxious Aspie ds is obsessed with Ebola this morning. Fun. 20 hr 31 min ago (16 replies)
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    • Can he go online to research it? 20 hr 31 min ago
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      • Luckily, he's a very science-geek type of kid, so he understands explanations about how it is and is not transmitted, etc. But he's perseverating a bit anyhow. 20 hr 28 min ago
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        • He's getting all into the development of the therapies, like the survivor's blood transfusions. 20 hr 26 min ago
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          • Maybe he'll be the one to come up with a cure someday! 19 hr 34 min ago
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            • We have research biologists in the family--not such a far-fetched idea. He's currently into materials analysis mostly, though. 19 hr 33 min ago
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              • awesome. (I'm a glass half full type of person, and I know all too well how the perseverating can drive you nuts!) 19 hr 30 min ago
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                • Hi other half full-type person! 19 hr 28 min ago
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    • not to make fun but that is a highly alliterative, interesting to say sentence 20 hr 30 min ago
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    • I have avoided any mention of it to anxiety ridden ds. 20 hr 30 min ago
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    • no screen time this morning, keep the television off. 20 hr 30 min ago
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      • Too late, DH had the morning news on during breakfast. 20 hr 29 min ago
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        • oy 20 hr 29 min ago
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        • well that was insensitive of dh. keep it off for the rest of the day. 20 hr 26 min ago
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        • oh yeah. Ds will read the scroll and he came home the other day telling me that a black woman had stabbed his imaginary friend in the back. I was horrified and then I realized...(more) 19 hr 33 min ago
          that I read that story on the scroll about a week ago. Ugh
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    • Give him the facts. Let him see that it is really rare and not so easy to catch. I have an anxious Aspie too and in these situations giving him practica info an and stats works 20 hr 27 min ago
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      • ITA, I'm just going to have to repeat the info a LOT before he lets it go. 20 hr 25 min ago
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  14. Special Needs Ds is in first grade and has been getting in a lot of pretty serious trouble -- he hits other kids and adults and tends to blame others for his actions. his dr recommended a...(more) 10-23-2014 10:26pm (15 replies)
    neurologist and thinks he has adhd. dh says that's ridiculous and he's just a product of bad parenting and that I'm trying to outsource parenting (...to the...neurologist??) obv I think he's being ridiculous, but still I doubt. is that kind of remorselessness associated with adhd? it's frightening to hear him talk about how his classmates disrespect him so he has to hit them.
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    • yes, it can be sign of impulse control (the hitting) 10-23-2014 10:27pm
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      • thanks, I get that for hitting, but also the lack of remorse? that's the part dh says is our (my) fault for not raising him right. 10-23-2014 10:28pm
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        • I read somewhere that lying can also be from adhd, avoiding getting into trouble since they are always getting into trouble, if that makes sense 10-23-2014 10:28pm
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          • yeah it does 10-23-2014 10:29pm
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    • befor my ds was dxed my xh said it wa just my shitty parenti g. when he starte to hit me and act out, tbat was my fault too. but it wasnt, it was adhd and now hes 7, we're i...(more) 10-23-2014 10:28pm
      g p Nd everything is so much better. Good luck!
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      • ^^^ for a while there i truly thkught i was raising a monster. in reality, he did have remorse, he had a TKN of emotions, but he was not able to handle them.trust me, what youre...(more) 10-23-2014 10:33pm
        seeing is just a little boy trying g to have frustrating, uncomfortable, confusing things make sense.
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    • you need a neuropsych. possibly adhd or something else. get support for yourself too. that isn't typical 1st grade behavior. 10-23-2014 10:29pm
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      • I would start with child psych or neurologist. Doesn't sound like an educational eval is needed at this point and much faster t see an M.D. 3 hr 15 min ago
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    • My dd, now 12, cannot "show" remorse 10-23-2014 10:30pm
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      • ^sorry, dh was blabbing. She cant show it - but she's very remorseful when she does wrong, as evidenced by quietly sobbing into her pillow. I've been trying to teach her for years...(more) 10-23-2014 10:34pm
        that a short, genuine "i'm sorry" goes far, but...she cant apologize, and cant show sorrow. It comes out as anger or faux not caring
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    • Sounds like a combo of impulse control and maybe misreading of social cues (NVLD or AS?). I'd go for a full neuropsych if possible. 20 hr 44 min ago
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    • This was my son in 1st grade - Diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and dyslexia in 2nd grade. Impulse control and he'd rather be in trouble than let anyone know he couldn't read like the...(more) 20 hr 42 min ago
      other kids.
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      • Kind of sucks that he was made to feel like not reading in first grade is abnormal. Probably several other kids in his class couldn't read yet! 18 hr 11 min ago
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    • That's not bad parenting. That sounds like classic special needs related to either ADHD, ODD or ASD. 7 hr 52 min ago
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    • no it is not always a symptom of adhd (which several in my family have but nothing like what you describe)....(more) 3 hr 17 min ago
      I would see a child psychiatrist or a neurologist and go from there.
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  15. Special Needs Anyone have any experience/feedback on filing formal complaints re. DoE total lack of accountability and missing their own deadlines, misinforming or purposefully not sharing...(more) 10-23-2014 10:08pm (3 replies)
    information w/ parents?
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    • Talk to special ed lawyer 10-23-2014 10:09pm
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    • OP: Anyone have feedback on Michelle Siegel? I know about Skyer and Rosenberg already. 10-23-2014 10:21pm
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      • Keep good records. Put it all n writing, as I'm sure you're dôing. Will help you if you change to sn school. Yes, have been there. Even with school psych violating our rights...(more) 20 hr 59 min ago
        by evaluating without my knowledge or consent and then disqualifying dc from 12:1 setting. Lied to my dc too; told him I knew she was evaluating him (he asked). Really gross. And this is at well respected ues school. t
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  16. Special Needs On a tour for a sn school today. one of the parents asks about the academic rigor, because "i have a child who is off the charts smart." sigh. what a douche. 10-23-2014 9:36pm (49 replies)
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    • there's always one douchey parent! 10-23-2014 9:36pm
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      • At every school tour, SN or not 10-23-2014 10:21pm
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    • I thought SN parents were less bitchy and more supportive??? 10-23-2014 9:37pm
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      • the nutso ones come out for tours 18 hr 5 min ago
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      • np: oh, you'll still find some gems 16 hr 20 min ago
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    • I assume their child also has issue or they would not be there. Everyone is coping with that as best they can, no one is perfect. They deal by focusing on how ''smart'' he is....(more) 10-23-2014 9:38pm
      Fine. We all have to get through the day.
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    • Think how much pain is wrapped up in her question. 10-23-2014 9:38pm
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      • df has a kid like this, but is always really understated. If she had a question like that, she'd askit offline in private, not broadcast it to the entire tour. 21 hr 26 min ago
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        • Most common SN for kids that bright is spectrum--Maybe mom leans that way and has social skill challenges, too. Unnecessary to attack her here. 20 hr 36 min ago
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    • what was the response? 10-23-2014 10:33pm
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    • I've heard that over and over again at mainstream school tours too. There are always those who are so full of themselves 21 hr 9 min ago
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    • Happens at all schools/all tours regardless of type of school 21 hr 8 min ago
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    • Something like half of highly gifted dc are also SN. However, most SN programs are aimed at dc who are behind grade level. Is it so hard to understand why this would be a...(more) 20 hr 39 min ago
      problem/concern for a parent? It can be raised more tactfully, but it's a real problem in finding appropriate placement. Love, Sheldon Cooper's mom
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      • of course it would be a concern, though there are so many "off the charts smarts" kids in NYC they may not be as exceptional as mom thinks. Regardless, that is not the way to...(more) 20 hr 22 min ago
        phrase it to pretty much anyone outside of family, let alone on a school tour, let alone with other sn parents. To me this borders on sociopathic.
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        • Good god, socially awkward or untactful is not sociopathic. You are overreacting tot his. 20 hr 20 min ago
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          • Np- well, it makes me feel like shit. 18 hr 10 min ago
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      • I understand the mom's concern if she has an academically advanced student, but she can ask the question w/o saying hers is "off the charts smart". 13 hr 13 min ago
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    • np: I have smart kid but i'd never ask that question in front of other people. rude 19 hr 37 min ago
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      • It's like the final taboo. You can ask all the questions you want about your child's disabilities on a tour, but heaven forfend you admit to academic advancement. Is it also...(more) 19 hr 33 min ago
        forbidden to ask about gym and sports for an active kid, in case some of the kids have motor disabilities?
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        • But people who ask about academics, that's one thing. People who say "Can you teach my particular genius child who is super super SMART?" that's another. 19 hr 30 min ago
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          • np: My ASD child was shut out from SN schools for being an academic outlier. I can understand somebody asking this, since many programs will not accept academically advanced...(more) 19 hr 25 min ago
            kids.
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            • I hate to say this, but I do not believe you. 17 hr 54 min ago
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              • They want kids who will fit in with the class they are forming. Not usually enough 2E kids to make a class at any given school. 15 hr 18 min ago
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              • np: If you know a SN school that will take a kid at least two standard deviations above normal IQ, point me there. Not Lang, director made a bad impression. 15 hr 11 min ago
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                • gateway? parkside? churchill? unless the dc has behavioral issues. 14 hr 4 min ago
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                • Summit had three National Merit scholars graduate a few years ago. I knew one of the moms - kids IQ was over 140. 13 hr 11 min ago
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                  • Are upper and lower schools different? We were told quite clearly by pretty much everybody but Summit (which just didn't have spots in ds' grade) that they would not be able to...(more) 11 hr 5 min ago
                    meet his academic needs, some took one look at his stats and pronounced him too high functioning without even meeting him based on test scores.
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                    • We were looking at upper school a few years ago. Maybe it has changed but there were some very bright students. 9 hr 59 min ago
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        • In part it's that parents of delayed kids are hypersensitive on this topic. Hence the elevation of mildly insensitive to "douchey" or "sociopathic". 19 hr 29 min ago
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          • Yes, and then ok was surrounded by parents of delayed kids. Imagine going on a tour of a school for kids with motor disabilities and saying "my son is a track star. How can you...(more) 18 hr 8 min ago
            accomodate him?"
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            • I'm assuming the school was for issues besides across the board academic delays, or why would they be touring? 15 hr 17 min ago
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    • Having been on tours for my dc several times over the years, I am pretty confident in saying that the people who ask questions like that *on tours* are the ones who are having the...(more) 19 hr 35 min ago
      hardest time coming to terms with their dc's SN. It's hard to listen to but I know it when I see it now.
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      • I disagree with this. I am a question asker and I needed to figure out which place was best for my child. Many questions I had would have been otherwise unanswered. I also think...(more) 19 hr 30 min ago
        sometimes with the level of competition in this city, some people are afraid to ask questions.
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        • You may have asked a question about the level of academics that didn't manage to get in a seeming brag about how your child was so smart that you were worried he'd be properly...(more) 19 hr 29 min ago
          educated at this school for children with special needs.
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          • Many SN programs can't handle kids at or above grade level--it's a very reasonable question if you have a 2E kid. People like to hate on 2E here, though. 19 hr 26 min ago
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            • This post has been disliked 3 times. showHave it your way. If you ask questions on tours that make it seem that you're only really trying to demonstrate the fact that your kid is too smart to need special ed, people are...(more) 19 hr 22 min ago
              going to react that way. Because that is really how it comes off, no matter how it sounds to the asker.
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              • np: that is not how it comes off to me. annoyingly worded, but a genuine and reasonable question 18 hr 43 min ago
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              • That doesn't make sense. Plenty of SN have nothing to do with intellect one way or the other. Signed, mom of a neuromotor and speech impaired kid (who is SN without learning...(more) 15 hr 14 min ago
                differences).
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            • ^^I'm the OR. The response after your last remark was not me! 19 hr 19 min ago
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            • np: Do you understand the concept of tact? You can ask about academic rigor without informing everyone on your tour that your child is brilliant. 16 hr 18 min ago
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              • No one is arguing it was super-tactfully phrased. But lack of tactful phrasing doesn't make it an unreasonable area of inquiry for a SN parent, or make social klutziness into...(more) 15 hr 12 min ago
                socipathy.
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      • I agree. The comment was more about the parent's denial and sadness. 18 hr 27 min ago
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    • That wouldn't bother me. I"m comfortable knowing my ds is not brilliant. The social piece is critical to me because regardless of how smart a kid is, if he can't connect and form...(more) 18 hr 56 min ago
      form relationships then he can't live on his own. "Off the charts smart" is a burden anyway.
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    • sorry this is more than just mildly insensitive.It isn't even because of the sn--who the hell says something like this about their child to strangers? I guess maybe I am the...(more) 18 hr 34 min ago
      other extreme because I'm always downplaying my dcs so as not to appear this way!
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    • It's a reasonable question and not uncommon especially for elementary aged children already in mainstream settings, it's hard to go from common core to below grade level, so know...(more) 17 hr 39 min ago
      where it's coming from.
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      • It's reasonable to ask the question about rigor. Unreasonable to throw in "my child is off the charts smart" 16 hr 19 min ago
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        • well people are nervous, I get it. 15 hr 35 min ago
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        • Probably HFA parent to HFA kid--I would assume social skill limitations and move on. 14 hr 57 min ago
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    • How do you ask tactfully if there are many kids who are socially typical though they have a SN? It is hard to tell on a quick tour and don't want to sound like a douche in front...(more) 13 hr 8 min ago
      of other parents.
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  17. Special Needs 3yo recently started at a CPSE preschool. The school is taking a field trip tomorrow. Parents were not asked to help chaperone. When I asked if I could meet them there, I was...(more) 10-23-2014 8:26pm (8 replies)
    told I couldn't. This all makes me deeply uneasy. How do I know if the kids will be adequately supervised? My kid is a runner. Is is typical for schools to be so closed off. Seems so secretive and institutional. I haven't yet even set foot in my child's classroom.
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    • Not normal at all 10-23-2014 8:28pm
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    • I wouldn't think of it as secretive but for a lot of young kids, especially those just adjusting to school, the presence of a parent can make things more difficult in terms of a...(more) 10-23-2014 8:44pm
      behavior. That said if you are not comfortable with your kid going on the field trip, don't send your child to school tomorrow! My dc is at a CPSE preschool and while it's not been as open as a MS school I've seen the classroom, met the teacher, and there's been an open school night. And if I wanted I could do pick up and drop off and see it every day. Did you ask how many adults per child will be going? Does the school know your child is a runner?
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      • No parents allowed in classroom or field trips at Gaynor. I am fine but it but it was a thinking shift...(more) 10-23-2014 8:56pm
        I have total confidence in the school and parents.
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    • Our CPSE school found it went better NOT to have parent chaperones, they had plenty of staff. 10-23-2014 9:01pm
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    • My DS is in his 2nd year at a CPSE preschool. Everytime they plan to go on a field trip they first ask for our signed permission. We have the right to not allow them to go if we...(more) 10-23-2014 9:06pm
      are not comfortable with it. Did you at least get a permission slip? Then, from what I understand, there is supposed to be at least one adult for every 2 children, so that an adult is able to hold everyone's hand. But I can understand your worry, especially if your dc is a runner.
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    • From what I recall, there was a lot of extra staff and they are well trained. You probably wouldn't want an untrained parent in charge of your child, would you? 10-23-2014 9:23pm
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      • np: I agree with this. The teachers probably do a better job of keeping the kids on track than if you have parents there who are used to their own kid but not another kid's...(more) 13 hr 57 min ago
        quirks.
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    • You don't know..there might be one kid who has issues with other parents or they feel parents' noses get bent out of shape if one comes and another can't....(more) 13 hr 58 min ago
      Generally, CPSE pre-schools are well staffed for school trips so I wouldn't worry.
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  18. Special Needs If you have an older dc with anxiety how does it look? Mine is almost 7. Had been on Zoloft and Prozac. The Prozac was really activating for him so we stopped. He is such a...(more) 10-23-2014 8:03pm (8 replies)
    controlling, rigid little ass*hole sometimes. Sorry but that's the best word to describe it. He is so mean to me and barks orders at me. When he doesn't get his way it's a meltdown. How the hell is he going to be able to function in the real world? He's so smart and has the potential to be really sweet when he wants
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    • What got him phone mess in the first place? 10-23-2014 8:29pm
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      • What do you mean? 10-23-2014 8:40pm
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    • Yes, my almost 8 yr old with anxiety can be like this. Meds is really trial and error but it can do such wonders... DC is also on ADHD meds, I have difference tolerance for what...(more) 10-23-2014 9:03pm
      he is allowed to say and do for when he is on, vs when they have worn off.
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      • i just feel so beat up. I feel like whenever i am around him he is abusive to me. And then i scream and i feel terrible after the fact. 10-23-2014 9:15pm
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        • OP the good news is hes doing well in school, so I suppose he holds it together there and then unloads on me. 10-23-2014 9:15pm
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    • I have a 6yo that you just described. No meds yet. How is your dc at school? 10-23-2014 9:27pm
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      • Since we took him off the prozac hes been doing much better at school. Less acting out, less negativity. Its just home that sucks. He was on zoloft for a little while before the...(more) 10-23-2014 9:31pm
        Prozac and it did help him for a while until it felt like it just stopped working (despite making the dose higher). We are in the process of having him reevaluated by a new dr.
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        • I get the worst at home too. 10-23-2014 10:11pm
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  19. Special Needs How hard is it to get into gateway, Churchill, or Ideal? For 1st grade 10-23-2014 7:35pm (3 replies)
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    • We are in Gaynor--nice school. Yoiu might want to add it to your list--lD? It is not easy to get into any of them but Churchill is the most difficult because it is funded SN....(more) 10-23-2014 7:39pm
      Also only 1 class while Gaynor has three classes--thus more slots but most are taken by first.
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    • Gateway lower school might be easier now that its unfunded. 10-24-2014 12:01am
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    • i had these kinds of questions when we were applying. this board told me they had never heard of someone who didn't find a spot somewhere. We applied to 6 schools, accepted at 4,...(more) 22 hr 14 min ago
      including the one we wanted most. Most people have stories like this in NYC, in my real life experience.
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  20. Special Needs Thanks for recommending Cherry pharmacy yesterday for focalin rx. i had forgotten about that place, little inconvenient for me, but the only place who had it available and they...(more) 10-23-2014 6:55pm (4 replies)
    are so nice there.I called about 20 pharmacies, Dr said it's a recent problem (hadn't been a problem for me two months ago.)
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    • Glad it helped. That's where we get it too. They are my go-to 10-23-2014 7:40pm
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      • Problem with brand or generic? thanks. 20 hr 57 min ago
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    • FYI: We call our pharmacy (Duane Reade in our case - the pharmacist knows us well) about two weeks in advance of needing a refill and let him know we'll need the refill. 18 hr 55 min ago
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    • They are wonderful there. 16 hr 18 min ago
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  21. Special Needs Do any of the burbs have programs similar to ASD Nest? 10-23-2014 6:04pm (9 replies)
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    • Can you explain what asd nest is to this burb resident? 10-23-2014 6:08pm
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      • NP Small class with aspergers spectrum children integrated with typically developing children. Small class (12 kids or so) with several teachers and pull-out therapy for kids with...(more) 10-23-2014 6:20pm
        aspbergers. All within a public school (free) environment.
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        • It's not just for Asperger's kids. Ds is (or used to be) PDD-NOS (now mild ASD via the new DSM). Many of those kids are Nest kids, too 10-23-2014 7:14pm
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        • Sounds good 10-23-2014 7:57pm
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    • thats what any good district does especially districts with programs for high functioning kids but classes could be larger. We have had as little as 14 as many as 21. The...(more) 10-23-2014 8:33pm
      average is 18 but that will change depending upon the district. It will also change depending upon the track your dc is on - if dc is in g+t, the number will depend on how many kids in that grade for that year qualify.
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      • to this point go onto Jeb Bakers web page and watch the nightly news videos. Millburn is not the only district with programs like that. You just have to look. 10-23-2014 8:34pm
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        • NP: Does NJ have a " Sarah Birmbaum"? 21 hr 32 min ago
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          • No it's not needed. Nj has span and PACs (parent advisory counsels). Each school is required by law to have a PAC,/ sn PTA. Span has a list of the leaders and you can reach out...(more) 15 hr 13 min ago
            To them. Each district works differently. Nj also has inclusion grants. The districts that win those are good for sn and a great way to start looking but just bc a district is good for sn does not mean it fits your dcs issues. You need to look at programs and educate yourself about inclusion.
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    • Not near me in Westchester. 13 hr 2 min ago
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  22. Special Needs What if your kid is just a sociopath? my ds has been diagnosed with SPD, likely adhd, he gets in fights at school all the time, yells at kids, throws things. these things come...(more) 10-23-2014 6:02pm (12 replies)
    from nowhere according to the teachers, but according to ds the kids are taunting him. I feel compelled to defend my child, but what if he's bullshitting me?
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    • you get him on meds, in tehreapy and you move on. He isn't a sociopath 10-23-2014 6:03pm
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      • i really want to evaluate meds. his dad (my xdh) refuses to consent 10-23-2014 6:05pm
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        • too bad, you contact your attorney. This is your child, and he probably is being teased which sets him off 10-23-2014 6:06pm
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      • np: My ds went from "exposing himself" to model student after meds. Do not deprive your dc of the opportunity to treat his ADHD with meds. 10-23-2014 9:00pm
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    • Does it ever happen when you are there? Like a party or at the park? 10-23-2014 6:04pm
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      • no, but i watch him a lot more carefully. he doesn't really have any friends, so i can't observe him around kids he knows in any meaningful context 10-23-2014 6:06pm
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        • your ds is suffering here, you need to help him 10-23-2014 6:06pm
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    • my Ds is a sociopath and he never acted that way as a child. he made friends easily. ; broke rules but could talk his way out of consequences and he was charming and cunning. your...(more) 10-23-2014 6:12pm
      Ds sounds like classic ADHD
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      • How did you know he was a sociopath? 10-23-2014 6:59pm
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    • SPD is commonly comorbid with things like ASD or ADHD that can cause behavioral issues. Has dc had a full neuropsych yet? 20 hr 33 min ago
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    • Is he medicated? 20 hr 32 min ago
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    • That seems like a big leap (to sociopath) to me. It's frustrating for a kid to be in a position where there is a curtain or wall between him and the world. Is your ds seeing a...(more) 18 hr 53 min ago
      psychologist?
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  23. Special Needs Please tell me if this is a nt thing or anxiety. (Ds has anxiety but I never know what is normal behavior). Ds having a meltdown and refuses to do the reading homework because I...(more) 10-23-2014 6:02pm (4 replies)
    left the logging sheet in my car (I'm out. He's with babysitter). He does not need the sheet to read but won't do it out if his regular order which is first writing the book name and then reading.
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    • that is anxiety. A nt kid might think that, but could be convinced to do the reading anyway 10-23-2014 6:03pm
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      • Op. We recently took him off of Prozac bc it was really making him hyper 10-23-2014 6:04pm
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    • Age 6 fwiw 10-23-2014 6:03pm
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    • Im a 1 st grade teacher and that sounds typical to me 10-23-2014 8:31pm
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  24. Special Needs My mother uses drama to get attention. My father has a health issue so he relates his doctor's visits to me in a normal way. Yesterday they were at a dr and someone who performed...(more) 10-23-2014 5:37pm (2 replies)
    a test was ridiculous and made them very nervous. An hour later they saw dr who said it was fine,not a big deal. My father tells me all this. My mother calls me later to tell me story, I said I heard it from my father (who she heard telling it to me!) and she said "no,he did not tell it in detail. we were dying for that hr, we were so nervous, etc" (and on and on). Then telling me how it was so hard, it took an hour and a half to get there.... just drama drama.
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    • that's my mother, too 10-23-2014 5:39pm
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    • Maybe she just wants to share the whole experience with you and needs your support. 10-23-2014 7:15pm
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  25. Special Needs My 4th grader dd has an auditory processing problem. She sees a language therapist once a week but it does not seem enough. How is this going to improve? Sometimes she learns...(more) 10-23-2014 5:18pm (5 replies)
    something at school and its like she never learned it at all. Her reading comp is awful too. Thanks
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    • get more time with therapist. have dd write things down. what kind of learner is she? is she visual, would seeing things and going through them a few times work? speak to...(more) 10-23-2014 5:24pm
      therapist for help. gl
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    • God this scares me. My k daughter has this and sometimes I think she has a concept and then a few days later I ask her and she stares at me like she never heard it. 10-23-2014 5:24pm
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      • Thats beCause her working memory is t good. My dcs are like this. The kids Ned's to be taught tools to retain info. This is part of exec. Functioning 10-23-2014 7:05pm
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        • ^^need not ned 10-23-2014 7:05pm
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    • My dd was Dx at this age with receptive and executive language issues plus executive funct. at this age. She had speech therapy twice a week and it helped 10-23-2014 7:07pm
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