Special Needs

  1. Special Needs Advice on how to proceed. 6th grader ds just told us that...(more) 9 hr 32 min ago (40 replies)
    a kid has been singling him out and being really mean to him, making homophobic jokes, etc. My son has ADHD and is somewhat immature and socially clueless but he told us that this kid's actions make it difficult for him to make friends and that it turns other kids against him. I am going to call the school counselor on Monday and ask her how to proceed but ds was extremely concerned that any parental intervention would make it worse. Thoughts? I am a big believer of nipping shit in the bud, before it can spread.
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    • of course talk to counselor, teacher.. 9 hr 31 min ago
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      • I will. Upset of course for ds but so glad he told us. It's odd, though. It's a...(more) 9 hr 26 min ago
        kid who I think for some reason is very competitive with my ds. And, of course, his parents are holier-than-thou types who always post bible verses and anti-Obama stuff on their FB pages, so I can guess where he gets the anti-gay stuff from. I will call the counselor, name names and see what she suggests, and then we'll go from there. I will get more involved as necessary. IME, ds' school is pretty good about dealing with this stuff early on.
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        • I cannot believe you are saying this. You kind of seem like a bully yourself. I'm gay and I do not like Obama and I believe in the bible. I don't preach ANSy kind of prejudice...(more) 9 hr 24 min ago
          to my kids! You're horrible
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          • well, you and this kid could be best friends then. sounds like you are perfect for each other. 9 hr 22 min ago
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            • ^^they certainly would be happy to pray for your soul and your misguided lifestyle. 9 hr 22 min ago
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            • Again I don't preach hate to my children. You shouldn't try to make it seem like it's the parents fault that the boy is an ass. 9 hr 21 min ago
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              • fair enough but honestly, where do you think kids learn hate like that? 9 hr 21 min ago
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                • Sometimes, you truly don't know. I'm not saying it always like that. Sometimes kids are influenced by others and say things that they don't truly understand 9 hr 19 min ago
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                  • well, I hope that's the case. But having grown up around a lot of very religious people who showed a lot of hate toward gays in particular, I have no tolerance for it. Parents...(more) 9 hr 16 min ago
                    teach their kids what's right and wrong, and I think at that age, the kid is either getting it from his home or from peers the parents want him to hang out with. This kid is repeating hateful things and he's not saying them to be nice.
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                    • Yeah but you know what? The bible thumpers of yesteryear aren't the bible thumpers of today 9 hr 13 min ago
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                      • it is very nice you are so open-minded. I hope they would be the same way toward you. 9 hr 12 min ago
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                • from the kids a year older. 8 hr 55 min ago
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          • np: I don't see why these 2 people are fighting. usually I can see but I don't get it. 8 hr 59 min ago
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        • np: it is an unfortunate thing but many middle schoolers who want to bully use the term gay as an insult. Been going on for years and has nothing to do w/religion. 8 hr 56 min ago
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    • you need to intervene 9 hr 31 min ago
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    • Lord, not my will, but thy will be done 9 hr 31 min ago
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    • Yes your dc can't handle this himself and the kid is cou ting on no one intervening. No one needs to know you were involved. 9 hr 27 min ago
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    • whether he wants you to or not, you need to make a phone call. how old is DS? 9 hr 26 min ago
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      • oh I will. He is 11. 9 hr 26 min ago
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        • it's a tough age. i hope everything works out for him 9 hr 25 min ago
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    • I don't have any advice but I really hope it gets sorted for you dc's sake! 9 hr 26 min ago
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    • I would contact the counselor, and ask the counselor to call your son in for a chat. let your son take the lead, but facilitate the meeting. once he has a taste for handling...(more) 9 hr 25 min ago
      things like this himself, he will feel better, and stronger. btdt - also with a child w/ adhd.
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      • what would you expect the outcome to be of a conversation like that? the counselor has been wonderful so far and seems like a very kind person 9 hr 23 min ago
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        • in my child's case she did contact the head teacher of my child's 'team' (our ps has teams). but more to the point, my kid was able to vent to an adult who could listen and...(more) 9 hr 20 min ago
          support him and encourage him. obviously I did that too, but sometimes a thrid party listening helps. she encouraged him to hang with his buddy. and in one case she sent a note to one teacher, asking they not be paired up in the class.
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          • did you fill in the counselor about what the issue was ahead of time? 9 hr 19 min ago
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            • not specifically. I said he was having trouble with another student. but I needed him to tell her the issue. I told him that. I can't fight these battles for him, but I did want...(more) 9 hr 17 min ago
              to create an enviornment where he could fight for himself. and it worked.
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              • how old was your dc and what was the issue? I like the idea of him advocating for himself but I guess I would be curious if our dc's situations were similar. 9 hr 16 min ago
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                • I am so not kidding about this, 7th grade - also being called homophobic slurs. I kid you not. 9 hr 15 min ago
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                  • what did the counselor suggest and how did that help?sorry your dc was in the same situation. 9 hr 14 min ago
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                  • ^ and he has adhd-inattentive, unmedicated, socially clueless as well. 9 hr 14 min ago
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                    • ^^ and my kid's life really turned around when he got to high school and found some clubs he liked, that is where he blossomed a bit socially, and while he is still awkward, he...(more) 9 hr 12 min ago
                      has made some really great friends.
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                      • glad to hear that. ds has a few friends, but not many. I hope high school will be easier. 9 hr 11 min ago
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                        • he needs to hang with his buddies, that is what my ds did. he had two really good friends, and they would run interference for him. 9 hr 10 min ago
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                          • TY for the nice words. Glad to hear your ds is doing well. :) 9 hr 9 min ago
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                            • no worries! good luck to you and your ds. give your love and unwavering support, and give him what he needs to stand up to bullies. 9 hr 5 min ago
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                  • Is he gay? 9 hr 12 min ago
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                    • it really doesn't matter as far as this situation goes. 9 hr 11 min ago
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                      • It does. They need support and to build self esteem when they are 9 hr 9 min ago
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                        • every child needs support and self esteem. in the case of bullying, homophobic comments are completely unacceptable whether the child is gay or not, period. 9 hr 7 min ago
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    • I would leave your judgmental assumptions out of the conversation with yen counselor 9 hr 16 min ago
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  2. Special Needs With a drug like tenex, you see effects immediately, right? Not like other stuff that needs to build up in your system 12 hr 27 min ago (1 reply)
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    • yes, we saw a difference (though it turned out to be minor) within 24-48 hours... It may have been sooner but it wasn;t that obvious in our dcs case 12 hr 2 min ago
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  3. Special Needs Hey, that went pretty well! One kid wouldn't eat anything but bread and cheese and juice all day, but all dishes turned out well, and we're 90% cleaned up and both kids bathed...(more) 12 hr 41 min ago (4 replies)
    and in PJ's by a half hour before youngest's bedtime. First time hosting, yay me!
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    • forget about picky eater kids, my mil and fil are SO picky 12 hr 40 min ago
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    • good for you. i just hid in my "office" to finish my wine..17 people still here 12 hr 40 min ago
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      • I had two dessert wines, but nobody wanted any. Everybody wanted to try the gingerbread coffee wtih dessert. 12 hr 39 min ago
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      • Our guests have a pretty long drive tonight, and we had more of a late lunch than a dinner due to young kids. Everybody left around 6PM. 12 hr 37 min ago
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  4. Special Needs Today I am thankful for Focalin, for giving me my son back. Seriously. 16 hr 28 min ago (0 replies)
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  5. Special Needs Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving. 20 hr 4 min ago (3 replies)
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    • Don't be a pushy bitch. 20 hr 3 min ago
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      • LOL. Well, I posted it on SN for a reason :) 20 hr 2 min ago
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    • You too! I am thrilled that for the first time in their lives my dcs were able to watch the parade on TV while I cook. That is a big deal! I tried for years and gave up and tried...(more) 19 hr 50 min ago
      again this year on a whim.
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  6. Special Needs How do you decide what activity/therapy to do? Just found what is seemingly a good social skills group (need to try it), but the day/time conflicts with the one activity/sport my...(more) 20 hr 4 min ago (22 replies)
    DC attends & enjoys. WWYD? He definitely needs help in the social arena!
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    • Try the social skills, but I would keep the sports and find another social skills group. 20 hr 4 min ago
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      • honestly, I have looked into all of the offerings in my area. Pickings are slim & mainly skewed towards more moderate functioning levels. This one is supposedly for HF kids. 20 hr 3 min ago
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        • ^^maybe I will see if DC can just do a trial or if I can check it out first. Hate to lay out the $$ and stop the other activity if this could be good. 20 hr 3 min ago
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          • or from below: I'd run away from a social skills class if the therapist does not meet your dc first. How will the therapist know dc if a good fit for the group without meeting...(more) 19 hr 51 min ago
            them and doing an intake and or trial.
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    • Its so hard, right? You just have to priorities and hope the therapy works. We have given up good time spots with one therapy for another and sometimes it was the right move...(more) 20 hr ago
      sometimes not. You have to try it to know. The good thing is that its only a short while: sports last a season, you know if therapy is working in a season.
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      • the sport is a class, so it's year-long (and literally the only thing he likes to attend!). It's not offered another day or I'd just switch him. I posted above - do you think the...(more) 19 hr 58 min ago
        social skills class will do a trial? Or let me check it out? We have to pay for the block of classes up front...hate to do that if it's a bust.
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        • I'd explain the situation to the therapist running the social skills and if possible do a 1:1 with the therapist. I tend to have a gut feeling with therapists. I personally am...(more) 19 hr 53 min ago
          not a fan of group social skills glasses. We've had much more success with 1:1 where dcs specific issues are being targeted. Look if the social skills dont work out you go back to the sport class. This happens all the time. Kids make travel baseball and practice is during religious ed - all instructors are used to this juggle. Talk to them. At this point its Dec - you can start in Jan and what ever you choose its only for Winter and spring. In summer the schedule switches again.
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          • thank you 19 hr 52 min ago
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            • The paying in advance for a block of 'therapy' would be a BIG red flag for me. Do you know this is a good therapist? 19 hr 43 min ago
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              • It is run through a center and it does have a good rep 19 hr 33 min ago
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    • I would never give up something my dc LOVES LOVES LOVES for a chance at something else 19 hr 55 min ago
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      • ^if he is participating in the class and enjoying it, that is FAR better than what a forced "social skills" group can provide 19 hr 53 min ago
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        • this is exactly why I am torn. Though truthfully, he really needs help with conversations, making friends, playing in groups 19 hr 53 min ago
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          • I have an 11yo mild spectrum kid and I did away with social skills group at age 8 and decided to spend the money on extracurriculars. IMO social skills learned in a class is not...(more) 19 hr 46 min ago
            really transferred to real life situations. My dd's bffs are all from her piano or gymnastics classes
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            • I know what you mean. We haven't had much luck with them in the past. But my dc doesn't talk to the other kids in the class. I think he prefers it that way. Thus the lack of...(more) 19 hr 33 min ago
              friends...
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              • Np: is dc bothered by this? Does dc want friends? If dc is happy maybe that's who dc is. Some nt kids are introverts and happy being alone. I went out with friends last night...(more) 19 hr ago
                Who have 13 year old dcs and all their 'friends' are the kids they do classes with. These are nt girls. Today so may kids are so scheduled that these classes are it.
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                • No he isn't bothered by it. He likes being with other kids but does not engaging in small talk...(more) 18 hr 56 min ago
                  But I think part of why he doesn't is the difficulty doing it
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                  • For him just being eithe the other kids at class or sitting and watching a movie is good enough 18 hr 55 min ago
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                    • Oops I mean watching a movie with a "friend" being together vs actually talking together or doing an activity together 18 hr 54 min ago
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                      • How old is your dc? 18 hr 23 min ago
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                        • ^is dc old enough to be part of the section making process? Could you accomplish your goal by having a play date 1x a week and you facilitate it. You can provide the structure...(more) 18 hr 12 min ago
                          for the conversation: games like would u rather, apples to apples, even skylanders where they must work together to move forward. Would this real life training accomplish the conversation goal and friends? Fwiw this is what we do and we tell dc to say hi to his friends in the sport class and to hang with them and check in. I'll also video tape the class and show it show it to dc pointing out where he checked out instead of checking in and showing the friend he was interested. This is how many teach advanced social skills.
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    • We are playing with social skills group as the priority (HW time included), playdates next (homework first), then sports on WEEKEND. 16 hr 2 min ago
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  7. Special Needs Any nj burb SN parents work with Stacy Greenwald (SN atty)? Wdyt? 23 hr 47 min ago (2 replies)
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    • I dont personally but know many who do and like her. She was one of the first sn firms and works in many districts. I am friends with many of the attnys under her too. The one...(more) 20 hr 11 min ago
      thing about NJ is that local knowledge is so important even attnys tend to be district wide. If you ask btdt you'll probably find other attnys who are local to your area and may already have a relationship with your district. 5 years ago SPAN sent out a list of attnys by towns.
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  8. Special Needs Do you have to be in the district for the Children's School in brooklyn? 11-26-2014 10:37pm (2 replies)
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    • yes 11-26-2014 10:40pm
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    • sadly, yes. (i would LOVE for my kid to go there.) 16 hr 26 min ago
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  9. Special Needs I need to find a new school for my son. A NYC school that deals with kids that have behavioral and emotional issues but are intellectually capable of learning at grade level. Must...(more) 11-26-2014 9:46pm (51 replies)
    be in NYC. I need some guidance and don't have anyone helping me with this. Thanks.
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    • How severe are the ebehavior issues? 11-26-2014 9:48pm
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      • He can't behave in the classroom and has to be removed each day. He either learns privately with a specialist in another room or sits in the office most of the time. 11-26-2014 9:50pm
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        • Have you done an evaluation? 11-26-2014 9:52pm
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          • The Board of Ed did one last year and we got an IEP that included OT services but that was last year. He's gotten a thousand times worse since then. 11-26-2014 9:53pm
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            • meds? 11-26-2014 9:54pm
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              • op: No he's not on any medication. 11-26-2014 9:55pm
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                • has a doctor advised against meds? they helped my once out-of-control DS immensely. 11 hr 51 min ago
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        • WHich type of classrooom is he in now? Because if he needs to be removed from a 30 kid classroom each day, he may not have that same behavior problem in a class of 10 or 12 16 hr 1 min ago
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    • Children's school (PS 372) in Brooklyn 11-26-2014 9:50pm
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      • op: We live in Manhattan and have kids in school in Manhattan. We would not be able to manage travel to Brooklyn. 11-26-2014 9:51pm
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        • there's a private on west 89..forgot the name 11-26-2014 9:52pm
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          • op: Stephen Gaynor. It's for learning issues. Not emotional/behavioral. 11-26-2014 9:52pm
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        • Anyone on here have other suggestions? Or even where I can go for guidance? This is all new for me and I have no idea where or how to start. 11-26-2014 9:52pm
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          • ask nueropsych? 11-26-2014 9:53pm
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            • op: Thanks, can you explain what this means? Like make an appointment to consult with a neurophsychologist you mean? 11-26-2014 9:55pm
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              • yes. this person can give a better understanding of where dc stands at this pt..also help with meds/therapist, etc. GL 11-26-2014 9:56pm
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          • what kind of school is he in now? can the school give you any guidance? 11-26-2014 9:55pm
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            • He's in a traditional school. They have been working hard to help him but nothing is helping. He seems to need more than they can give. They are not a special needs school nor do...(more) 11-26-2014 9:57pm
              they pretend to be. They are trying to help him but I just think he's in the wrong place. And the bottom line is that he is not learning what he needs to move on to first grade because every day is about his behavior.
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              • call david salsberg and get eval, find out first what you are dealing with. 11-26-2014 10:12pm
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                • Please do this. Just breathe, make Neuropsych appt. they will help 20 hr 33 min ago
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                • This this this. David Salsberg is amazing. He will help you. 12 hr 30 min ago
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              • How does he behave at home? 11 hr 32 min ago
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          • I would start with a child psychiatrist. They can diagnose and prescribe meds if needed and do it right away. Euro-psych does a lot of educational testing and it can takes month...(more) 11 hr 32 min ago
            to get a report.
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        • kids are buseed 11-26-2014 10:11pm
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      • Isn't that program part of the ASD Nest program? So don't you have to applly to and get accepted to Nest to get in? 23 hr 43 min ago
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    • andrus 11-26-2014 9:56pm
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      • op: I just googled and it does not appear to be in NYC 11-26-2014 9:58pm
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        • right outside 11-26-2014 10:10pm
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          • Yonkers. 45 min from UWS. 12 hr 24 min ago
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    • Please describe behavioral..is it violence or being disruptive in class or what?..Know a behavioral kid who is not at Browning 11-26-2014 10:20pm
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      • "now" at Browning; doing well at school but flips out after school 11-26-2014 10:21pm
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    • summit in queens would work 11-26-2014 10:21pm
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      • ITA Summit. 11-26-2014 10:29pm
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        • as a poster said above, your child can get transportation on his iep. Fo not limit your options based on geography. Kids with behavior issues need to be in the right school. I...(more) 11-26-2014 10:36pm
          would start with an educational psych evaluation.Google it, I did and it was very helpful before I went. I like Salzburg too.
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          • np, sounds like her child is in Kindergarten, which means summit isn't an option for her right now 20 hr 59 min ago
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    • It sounds to me that you need a full neuropsych exam to learn more about yiur son. It's also sound like you should investigate meds afterwards. That said, if he cannot learn in...(more) 11-27-2014 7:55am
      Traditional environment for now, you might look at fusion academy. There are two campuses in manhattan. Good luck.
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    • Yeah, good luck with this. Same boat, only ds is above grade level. We did the whole thing with the np and lawyer, and found not a single school that would take him, still in...(more) 23 hr 42 min ago
      public school with a thick IEP.
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    • i would look at West End Day. everyone here says they don't take behavioral issues, however, they took my son who was hitting, another kid who was throwing chairs, and another...(more) 20 hr 57 min ago
      kid who melts down and screams at the slightest provocation. For better or worse, every poster here puts her own spin on what you mean by "behavioral and emotional issues," which is why you have to take responses with a grain of salt. Try a neuropsych for a complete evaluation, if you can afford it. if not, ask here for the sliding scale places. Good luck.
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      • This is very good advice. Don't go by here - let the school tell you if your dc is too behavioral or otherwise not a fit. 20 hr 26 min ago
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      • I've definitely known kids with milder behavioral stuff (task refusal, air karate but no actual hitting, etc.) who were turned down purportedly for being too behavioral. I'd love...(more) 18 hr 6 min ago
        to see which ones were able to pay in full out of pocket, and who was Connors or needing to sue for reimbursement.
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        • and again, this is why anecdotal issues here aren't always a good indicator of who is a fit at what school. 17 hr 57 min ago
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        • they don't ask for a financial disclosure when you apply. When my son was accepted they knew nothing about our financial situation other than what they ascertained/assumed from...(more) 17 hr 53 min ago
          his old navy clothing and my MZ Wallace handbag.
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          • They asked us when we got to the stage where they had him visiting the school for the morning. 12 hr 40 min ago
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            • They never asked us, pre or post acceptance 9 hr 38 min ago
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    • I would first do a thorough eval to see where the issues are stemming from & get guidance from a professional. DO NOT listen to those who assume the issues are simply due to the...(more) 20 hr 1 min ago
      wrong setting because you could make that mistake with SN schools too & have a bad experience and be kicked out. Be sure he'll be someplace that can support him esp through the transition.
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      • FWIW, the SN schools all require a NP or IEP with full doe eval at the least....it's not like they will take her at her word and accept or deny the child admission just based on...(more) 17 hr 54 min ago
        that. It's hard to make that kind of mistake, generally, when applying to SN schools.
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        • Not true at all. Lots of the SN schools boot you out after accepting you if they do not want to deal with behavior 14 hr 44 min ago
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    • Good luck with that. The Children's School is great, but only if you're lucky enough to be in the right district. Signed, mom in a similar situation. 16 hr 27 min ago
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    • Andrus. Summit would be for next year. 12 hr 25 min ago
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    • Please first find out why your son is acing this way. A child psychiatrist or ped. neurologist can diagnose him and treat him. You can also book an NP like Salzburg for help...(more) 11 hr 26 min ago
      getting into another school but you need an M.D. doctor to diagnose if he has psychological or neurological (as opposed to educational) reasons for his behavior.
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  10. Special Needs My ds is 7 and has a learning disability. He has had testing through our public school. Right now, he is in an inclusion class and is having a lot of difficulty. My friends in...(more) 11-26-2014 8:13pm (18 replies)
    NYC tell me that I should get a private nueropsych and fight for him to go to private special needs school. We live in rockland county and it is like land of the lost. I dont know where to go to get help and I feel like I am failing my ds. Help
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    • Yes, if you can afford to get a neuropsych, the report will give you an idea of what he needs... and will help you if you want to fight for a sn school. 11-26-2014 8:45pm
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    • I'd start w/SN's attorney in your area first. Your friend has good intentions but is giving advice based on the NYC climate. 11-26-2014 8:46pm
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      • Totally agree that it is about NY climate, not Rockland County. Child needs IEP based on testing results, grades and what the LD is. There is a group of special ed parents at most...(more) 11-26-2014 8:54pm
        schools who are aware of the available services.
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    • What is his learning disability? does he have an IEP and support in school? Has the school tested him? The whole system of SN schools they are talking about does not exist in...(more) 11-26-2014 8:48pm
      Rockland County in the same way. I am in Westchester and did not have to sue and do the things your NYC friends are talking about. You do need to get him support and your school may or may not have it, but other schools will have it.
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      • op: yes, he has an iep, classified as ld. He is in inclusion, with pull out services for reading and math. He was tested through the school and they did not give me a specific...(more) 11-26-2014 9:14pm
        learning disability but said there are memory and processing weaknesses.
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        • I'd get a full Neuropsych eval. It will be detailed and tell you exactly what the issues are and what your dc needs 11-26-2014 9:19pm
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          • Use a local near-psych as that person will know the educational system you are dealing with. Your situation is very different from your friends in NYC. 11-26-2014 9:22pm
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        • I assume you have copies of all the testing and scores? He is only 7. Do you know if he is dyslexic? 11-26-2014 9:20pm
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          • not dyslexic 11-26-2014 9:32pm
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        • Is his IQ normal (don't need to tell us but a globally delayed child may have different needs than one who is normal/bright with LDs. 11-26-2014 9:23pm
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          • IQ is low/average. She did not give me a # 11-26-2014 9:31pm
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          • there are no social/emotional issues. I just wonder if he would be better served in an sn school. I am worried about putting him in a sn class in our district b/c I dont want...(more) 11-26-2014 9:34pm
            him to be with kids with behavior issues
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            • Is he unhappy in his current class? Does he make friends at school? If so you may want to leave him there a while and try and get more services. I agree with those who say get a...(more) 11-27-2014 1:49am
              neuro-psych exam and go from there. My ds is like yours and transferred from public to SN toward the end of elementary. He needed to transfer when the work got too hard, but he kept his friends in the neighborhood. The SN school is far away, there are not good sports facilities which he misses, and there are more kids with other issues though he is older and understands now.
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    • Does he have an IEP? He needs to have one to get services and support. 11-26-2014 8:49pm
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    • There are SN resources in Rockland County. Google them. You may be able to get more support from your school (resource room, ICT classes), supplement with a tutor, or get...(more) 11-27-2014 2:02am
      placement at another Rockland school with a more suitable program. It is different than in NYC. You need to hook in to Special Needs parents there in Rockland.
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    • Hire atty, get full np Eval, file due process, sue for windward. Don't waste your time with publics, ime... They don't know how to properly remediate and you'll waste precious ti...(more) 23 hr 55 min ago
      Time....
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      • how do you know what they ALL do not remediate? 21 hr 17 min ago
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      • She said her ds is not dyslexic. Windward is a wonderfull school but he needs to have a language based LD to go there....(more) 11 hr 18 min ago
        There may be good programs in Rockland County. I am in the burbs and it is very different than NYC. But, first you need to know what your child needs and which schools offer it.
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  11. Special Needs Sensory gym Recommendation in Manhattan...(more) 11-26-2014 7:12pm (3 replies)
    For sensory integration issues, which is better, "Connect the dots" or "Creatability"? We are open to other suggestions as well. We are in CPSE.
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    • Love Marianne at CTD 11-26-2014 8:45pm
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    • Smile center was absolutely wonderful for us. 18 hr 49 min ago
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  12. Special Needs Boy scouts? Anyone? I just can't imagine. Dh wants to 11-26-2014 6:51pm (20 replies)
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    • Why can't you imagine? 11-26-2014 6:52pm
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      • Him sitting in a meeting 11-26-2014 6:52pm
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        • They don't really sit in a meeting. The pack meetings are like organized chaos and the den meetings are generally an activity 11-26-2014 6:53pm
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          • oh really? They don't have to sit and listen? 11-26-2014 6:54pm
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            • Not for extended periods of time. Our pack meeting is a intro with flag and the promise, the go over some info and then do a big group activity within each den. Our den meeting is...(more) 11-26-2014 6:55pm
              A flag ceremony and then activity to meet requirements for the year
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              • ok thanks 11-26-2014 6:56pm
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                • And our den leader is awesome- his ds has ADHD so he is really good at remembering these are still young boys. 11-26-2014 6:58pm
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                  • This is my fear 11-26-2014 6:58pm
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                    • For the most part leaders are parents inthe troop too so they get it. And you go to the meetings as well so you are there also to police your kid. I was really nervous about my ds...(more) 11-26-2014 7:01pm
                      And his energy and while it does get out of hand (there are 14 7-8 yr olds in his den) it's not overly out of hand if that makes sense
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                      • ok. Thanks. We will give it a go. 11-26-2014 7:01pm
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                        • The key is whether ds wants to do it. The thing that keeps my kid focused is he wants to earn those patches and belt loops and things like that. So he is actively participating in...(more) 11-26-2014 7:03pm
                          Everytbing
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                          • ugh. He really has no interest 11-26-2014 7:03pm
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                            • Then don't do it. Seriously if he doesn't want to do it it's a waste. And it's not the cheapest thing out there 11-26-2014 7:05pm
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                              • ok. He has no interest in anything. Was hoping this might be fun 11-26-2014 7:05pm
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                  • It ALL depends on the pack leader/instructors. That's true for any enrichment or school or camp. 11-26-2014 7:48pm
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    • It's great ! 11-26-2014 6:52pm
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    • I would be concerned if dh wanted to become a scout 11-26-2014 6:52pm
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    • Your mileage may vary, depending on the culture of the particular troop you join. I know people who've both had wonderful and poor experiences with scouts, but more good ones...(more) 11-26-2014 9:27pm
      than bad.
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    • We tried it with DS when he was younger--like 2nd grade. He's got anxiety & dyslexia, I had to go to most meetings w/ him since DH was working. It was hard. At one point some...(more) 11-26-2014 10:13pm
      of the kids made fun of him not being able to read or spell very well. Now he's in a therapeutic boarding school & they do scouts there--I think it's working very well for him in that context.
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    • Totally depends upon the den leader. I am one. 1/2 of my den are kids with issues. I like that they have each other and bc I know them we always have activities - active...(more) 12 hr 5 min ago
      learning: soap carving, hike in the woods, learn bird calls - lots you can do
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  13. Special Needs I am getting a little freaked out about forgetting to give ds his meds. so far we haven't missed any doses but i'm just imagining the time we leave for the weekend and i realize...(more) 11-26-2014 6:38pm (15 replies)
    we don't have the medicine...or that i just space out one day and forget. have you had any issues with dc missing doses?
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    • Set your iphone 11-26-2014 6:39pm
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    • My kids forget -ADHD meds - and it's no big deal. 11-26-2014 6:39pm
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    • what med? Usually just missing once is not a big deal. 11-26-2014 6:39pm
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      • prozac and tenex 11-26-2014 6:40pm
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        • not sure about tenex but prozac has a long half life/stays in your system. So while you want the continual stream of daily dosing, skipping a dose accidentally will not do a whole...(more) 20 hr ago
          lot in terms of messing up DC. I bet Tenex is similar. Ask the pharmacist or dr.
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    • my ds has taken meds for 6 yrs and I've never forgotten. but I got one of those little vials that hangs from your keychain and I always have an extra dose in there just in case. 11-26-2014 6:41pm
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    • tuck a couple in your bag, right now. that way you have them if you ever need them. 11-26-2014 6:44pm
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    • Which meds? With some missing doses is ok-true for ADHD stimulants 11-26-2014 6:50pm
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    • no but me having anxiety, I have this thought EVERY morning when I get the meds for ds 11-26-2014 7:20pm
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      • ^and no, knock wood, haven't missed a day in the 2 months he's been on it 11-26-2014 7:20pm
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    • Yes, I'm sorry to say. He failed a math test that day. :( 11-26-2014 7:24pm
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    • I always kept 2 days worth in my bag for just this anxiety. 11-26-2014 7:26pm
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    • the tenex is a bigger deal to skip...I would take 2 pills out and put in a ziploc in my purse or wallet or find some way to attach to keys, for the times you go away. add it to...(more) 20 hr 55 min ago
      your packing list. there are for sure ways not to forget
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      • not necessarily if the half life is long - I posted above about this 19 hr 58 min ago
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        • texas is a blood pressur drug, you have to maintain consistency of dosing. which is why I said it was a bigger deal to skip...IOW, you shouldn't skip. 17 hr 56 min ago
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  14. Special Needs DS is turing 12. He has become more aggressive especially with dh. He's headhunted him and dh has pulled his back out trying to get him up from tantrums. I'm wondering if it...(more) 11-26-2014 6:35pm (1 reply)
    could be puberty induced. If so, are there any medications we can give? Someone to see to talk about it? Get it checked out? TIA
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    • See a psychiatrist, there are certainly calming medications. You didn't give dx but meds could be anything from SSRIs to meds to reduce bp to antipsychotics 11-26-2014 6:45pm
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  15. Special Needs Can someone explain to me the difference b/t a funded and unfunded special needs school? Does funded mean that you dont need to sue the DOE to pay? 11-26-2014 4:32pm (6 replies)
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    • Funded means there is he possibility that the dob will put the school'sname on the IEP and the. You won't have to pay and sue. The dob will pay. 11-26-2014 4:33pm
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    • Funded means that once you get approval, the DOE will pay the tuition. Unfunded means you pay out of pocket and sue the DOE every year for reimbursement of tuition. 11-26-2014 4:34pm
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      • and it's an awful process. 11-26-2014 4:35pm
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    • Funded means that if the CSE agrees they don't have an appropriate placement, you can get deferred to having the funded school put onto your IEP. Unfunded you have to sue &...(more) 11-26-2014 4:34pm
      demonstrate it's appropriate (and that the CSE offering wasn't appropriate) every single year.
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    • Funded is an approved DOE school and unfunder is not approved. So...if you can get a deferral to cbst, you will get a list of funded schools to choose 11-26-2014 6:17pm
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      • ^^^sorry...if you get deferred and approved ...it will be on your IEP 11-26-2014 6:19pm
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  16. Special Needs So depressed. Feeling like only DH & I see how great DS is. Others just see an oddball kid :( 11-26-2014 4:20pm (19 replies)
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    • do you belong to any support groups? 11-26-2014 4:20pm
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      • This post has been disliked 5 times. showmaybe she needs a basket 11-26-2014 4:21pm
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        • you're a real winner 11-26-2014 4:21pm
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          • oh shit, i didn't see this was on SN, i thought it was on toddler. i denounce and reject myself as i slink away 11-26-2014 4:23pm
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            • I appreciate that. Though truly, you should rethink your actions. Posting it on Toddler doesn't make your comment more acceptable. Is it so hard to be a nice person? 11-26-2014 4:27pm
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              • This. Don't be mean anywhere. 16 hr 25 min ago
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    • sorry 11-26-2014 4:20pm
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    • maybe now, but he will find his way. GL to you. 11-26-2014 4:21pm
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      • I hope you are right. He's so sweet and smart. But different. 11-26-2014 4:23pm
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        • and someday, not tomorrow, someone will see that sweet and smart side of him and love him like crazy, too... 11-26-2014 4:24pm
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    • he will get older and get better social skills and find his people 11-26-2014 4:25pm
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    • But just having the two of you in his corner means that he is way ahead of the game. He has cheerleaders who will never give up on him. That's a big, big thing to have. 11-26-2014 4:25pm
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      • so true.... 11-26-2014 4:26pm
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      • I know. Just bums me out. I see pix of kids from school & there's always bunches with arms around each other like buddies. No one does that to DS. 11-26-2014 4:26pm
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        • He just needs one good friend. That's enough and eventually he will find it. 11-26-2014 4:27pm
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          • this 11-26-2014 4:27pm
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          • I really hope so. It breaks my heart. He is happy and doesn't really see this, but we do. 11-26-2014 4:28pm
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            • If he is happy, he wins. 11-26-2014 5:55pm
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    • the important thing is that you as his parents love him and see his good qualities. 11-26-2014 4:42pm
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  17. Special Needs What kind of therapy does your adhd and or anxious dc do? 11-26-2014 3:16pm (4 replies)
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    • His therapist does a mix of play therapy and CBT. He's almost 9. 11-26-2014 3:17pm
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    • Mine does aba/behavioral. And a ton of sports and swimming 11-26-2014 3:25pm
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    • CBT 11-26-2014 3:54pm
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    • Many years of ABA, then CBT when dc was capable of more abstract thinking and verbalizing. 11-26-2014 3:55pm
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  18. Special Needs Moms of sensory seekers: have you found OT in a sensory gym setting helpful? i know my dc loves the more physical aspects of it. but he hates the fine motor work, and frankly, i...(more) 11-26-2014 3:09pm (5 replies)
    don't really care if we focus on that at all (his writing is pretty good at this point, as is his pencil grip). we're starting at a new gym with a new OT, and wondering if i can tell her not to even worry about the fine motor, just focus on letting him get the big sensory input. we've done brushing, we've done weighted vests, all those things, and none seemed to ever have any positive effect on dc. i just need him to have an outlet to crash into stuff, i guess...
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    • Gym helpful yes. Fine motor was ok on own BUT that work helped with writing (mental organization not physical) 11-26-2014 3:11pm
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      • great, thanks. so it's not out of my purview to direct the therapist on what we need? because dc hates the fine motor work and it's not going to help with the bigger problem,...(more) 11-26-2014 3:15pm
        which is self-regulation (in my uneducated opinion)
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    • are you sure OT is the best route? why not just get dc a membership to a pool or somewhere with a ball pit and open kids gym? 11-26-2014 3:31pm
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      • i am not sure it's the best route, but it's what is given to us on dc's iesp at the moment. we are asking for a meeting to revise, but in the meantime want to use what we've got...(more) 11-26-2014 3:49pm
        in any way that's helpful.
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        • it's fine; you can direct the OT to focus on areas of weakness; they don't at all need to do fine motor if that is not an issue or they can always do it later once the bigger...(more) 11-26-2014 10:30pm
          sensory stuff is better under control
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  19. Special Needs This may sound cruel and weird but I actually get pleasure when I see ds 6.5, previously thought to be pdd and most likely adhd/anxiety crying at the scary parts in movies. It's...(more) 11-26-2014 3:06pm (2 replies)
    so appropriate and maybe strange but I am so happy he can empathize and process these parts. I never thought he would be able to when he was first dx.
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    • I get it 11-26-2014 3:07pm
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    • I feel the same way when AS ds wells up at the sad parts of movies. 11-26-2014 3:19pm
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  20. Special Needs These are the kind of days when I wish ds with adhd could focus on a movie or entertain himself with toys....(more) 11-26-2014 1:58pm (3 replies)
    Holidays and long weekends are so brutal. Especially in bad weather.
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    • This was us before meds... I set the timer every ten minutes for a change of activity, it just helped to have structure that way... was exhausting, i feel your pain 11-26-2014 2:14pm
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      • We are just starting to find the right med. I can't wait 11-26-2014 2:15pm
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      • ditto, now he can sit for an hour and sketch, he never did that before! 11-26-2014 2:19pm
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  21. Special Needs If another family took your DC on vacation with them, paid for it, would you have DC write a thank you note? Would you do something to acknowledge it? Or assume your DC was their...(more) 11-26-2014 1:51pm (4 replies)
    for their DC's benefit and you're even?
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    • ^^meant for toddler--ignore 11-26-2014 1:51pm
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    • Are you kidding? If DC is not able to write a note, I'd write it for him, but really, not say thank you for a free vacation? 11-26-2014 1:52pm
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    • Of course I would acknowledge that they took my child on a free vacation. I would send a very nice gift to them and I would have dc thank them as well. It does not matter if my...(more) 11-26-2014 4:48pm
      child was there for their child's benefit, that's just basic manners
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    • Of course, big thank you plus a gift from you - the type of thing you'd send if you had stayed at someone's home for the weekend. We have taken other kids with us but their...(more) 11-26-2014 4:50pm
      parents pay for it (airfare, hotel). We cover a lot of the meals although the child -middle or high school - always offers.
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  22. Special Needs Anyone live in a burb (westchester, bergen cty, etc) and send their dc to a special needs school? Which one and does your district help pay? 11-26-2014 1:46pm (6 replies)
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    • my dc goes to the developmental learning center in warrn nj, the district pays for it 11-26-2014 1:46pm
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    • i don't have a child in a SN school but I know Hawthorne does and so does Franklin Lakes and Ridgewood 11-26-2014 1:56pm
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    • I live in Westchester and the district pays to send my child to an LD school. We did not need to sue. Some districts have good programs for various LDs. Mine was the only child...(more) 11-26-2014 4:47pm
      with his LD so district sent applications to the SN schools.
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    • I'm in Jersey burbs. There are only about 7 schools in NJ that serve a hf population that nyc privates do. Most of the sn schools are for moderate to significant issues. There...(more) 11-27-2014 7:50am
      are kids who get shipped to other districts for a better public program. Its a different system then NYC. You can see a list of schools if you google nj sn schools. NJ Austism and SPAN also have a list. Bergen has a good sn rep for sn programs. I know there are some holes in the program an obviously some schools will be a better fit then another but its worth looking at. Karen Kimberlin SLP in Shrewsbury does a lot of testing for kids in that district you may want to reach out to her and the sn pta in that area.
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    • I'm in Bergen cty, and we are in the process of filing due process for out of district placement. Schools' ld program is supposed to be "very good" but after 4 years our dc is...(more) 11-27-2014 7:57am
      not making meaningful progress. They keep moving him through to the next grade without proper remediation, and personally, most of the " specialists" are incompetents.
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  23. Special Needs I feel like I got enrolled in the super advanced life class and I didn't get to take any of the prerequisites. So overwhelmed right now. 11-26-2014 1:22pm (15 replies)
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    • what's up? 11-26-2014 1:23pm
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      • DS is home from therapeutic boarding school & I feel like nothing I do with him works. It's so hard having him home. Also very bad aging parent situation & I'm the one on the...(more) 11-26-2014 1:27pm
        front lines. DH gone all the time for work. It's just hard & I don't feel capable at all.
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        • I feel you. The aging parent thing went critical here at the same time ds was in major crisis mode/first being dxed. 11-26-2014 1:28pm
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          • Exactly the same here. And it keeps unraveling. I have two siblings, neither lives close. One shares the burden & is great. But my older sister doesn't do anything and it makes...(more) 11-26-2014 1:39pm
            me irrationally angry.
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            • My only sib is autistic. He actually did help a ton, but he had to be guided. Like, he'd go run errands that were needed if you gave him specific instructions, or relay specific...(more) 11-26-2014 2:18pm
              info to dad's doctor if he could make an appointment that I couldn't because of dc.
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        • ah yes, the school breaks from therapeutic boarding school were always very difficult for my sister-in-law too. her dc would totally fall apart at home. it did get progressively...(more) 11-26-2014 1:32pm
          better as the years went on, if that is any comfort...
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          • Thank you--I try so hard to follow his therapists recommendations, say the right things, and it just never feels very successful. And I can look up & know that he probably...(more) 11-26-2014 1:38pm
            doesn't feel successful either. It breaks my heart. I try to focus on the positives & what does work, but it is easy to lose sight of that when the hard parts are SO hard, and the successes are like "good for you, you didn't swear for one whole hour."
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            • Yup. I used to hate the phrase "small victories" but now I welcome it. While things are this rocky, would you consider having a SEIT for a couple of hours each day? 11-26-2014 2:04pm
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              • I have heard that phrase but don't know what it is. Not in NY so it's different here. But days like today--where DH is gone & I'm alone w/ DC--I could use some help. 11-26-2014 3:20pm
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    • Ask us, we'll give you the Cliff Notes. 11-26-2014 1:26pm
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    • great way to put it. we muddled through four years of hell. sitting on one side of the table, not having any info. accross from us sat the DOE, school psych, teachers, principal...(more) 11-26-2014 1:29pm
      having all of the info, functioning as highly skilled political operators putting up invisible barriers at every turn. that's why we needed a neuropsych and a lawyer (our own skilled political operators) to fight for our family.
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      • and it is cruel and disgusting that we play this game with women and innocent small children. it makes me so angry. sign of a civilzation is how we treat the weakest members -...(more) 11-26-2014 1:31pm
        children and seniors and we have quite a track record here.
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      • I am you 23 hr 49 min ago
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    • op: also, DS is not typical at all, but he doesn't fall into any neat category. He has ASD qualities, but not across the board. And anxiety disorder that is very intense & makes...(more) 11-26-2014 1:41pm
      every day life so hard. Very serious LD, ADD, can present as manic at times, has sensory issues & probably vision issues as well. It is so unfair for one kid to have to cope with all of that. Also, he can appear typical, so I get those looks from people--I know other people think I'm just a bad parent or we overreact or something like that.
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    • You are not alone. My ds is falling apart and I feel like we are at the very beginning of every bad thing that plagues him. 11-26-2014 1:49pm
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  24. Special Needs What is Regina Skyer's retainer? 11-26-2014 1:06pm (2 replies)
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    • not sure about the retainer, but it is $500 for initial consult. 11-26-2014 1:08pm
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    • $3750 unless you go to a hearing. 11-26-2014 1:22pm
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  25. Special Needs In all honesty: do you think it's better for a LD child to be in a private school with no extra support or a public with an IEP? 11-26-2014 12:10pm (31 replies)
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    • iep 11-26-2014 12:12pm
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    • def public with IEP 11-26-2014 12:12pm
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    • If in a good public school district, public with support 11-26-2014 12:12pm
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    • IEP 11-26-2014 12:12pm
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    • We tried private, hoping if he could do things at his own pace and follow his own interests he'd be ok. Did not work out, could not be happier with his public school & IEP. 11-26-2014 12:14pm
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    • omg - this is nearning a YBM consensus. 11-26-2014 12:14pm
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      • I know, it's great! 11-26-2014 12:16pm
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    • Tough call. We are doing it out in private with support at school and on the side. 11-26-2014 12:15pm
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    • Our private is wonderful and nurturing but they do NOT have the tools to support dd. I'd much rather she switch to a public with trained special ed teachers and be in an ICT...(more) 11-26-2014 12:16pm
      environment. Then we'd also have more disposable income to afford more help out of school.
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    • Is LD private school not an option? 11-26-2014 12:24pm
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    • why not private with an IEP? that's what my son has 11-26-2014 12:28pm
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      • np: b/c very few privates have all of the resources (or are willing) to fully implement 11-26-2014 12:34pm
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      • Most privates can't implement an IEP 11-26-2014 1:20pm
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    • DEPENDS. the real question is can you get the remediation done? support without remediation is not enough IMO. 11-26-2014 12:36pm
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      • Do'nt flame--what's the difference? 11-26-2014 1:21pm
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      • I agree 100%... Btdt in nj public (Bergen county), all support/accommodations but zero remediation. Created a very dependence-based situation for my child 11-27-2014 8:06am
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    • you should also be considering private LD 11-26-2014 12:37pm
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      • Everyone who has worked with her agrees she needs to be in a mainstream environment. She's not severe enough to be in an LD school 11-26-2014 1:21pm
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        • then public with an IEP and possibly ICT class may be great depending on the LD. That's the key -getting the LD remediated as much as possible. 11-26-2014 4:45pm
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    • The only issues that could potentially be better in a private without extra supports is something that could be solved entirely by smaller class size. If you need any other...(more) 11-26-2014 1:21pm
      interventions or supports, that won't help.
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      • OP- that makes sense. Dd is in private now and the only good thing for her is the small class size 11-26-2014 1:22pm
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    • We did and are doing private with the np accommodations. It's been great and the school is on board with it all 11-26-2014 2:14pm
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    • I think private with tutoring at home. but that's just for us. I don't have a blanket response 11-26-2014 2:28pm
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    • It depends so much on the child and how they are affected. I have 2 dc with ld's. one is fine in ms private. He has a tutor 2 times a week after school and he gets...(more) 11-26-2014 4:53pm
      acomadations. My other dc started in ms private and moved to an ld school after 2nd grade and is now in hs still in a sn school. We did apply to some ms privates when he applied for hs but not to any publics. Academically he is too advanced
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      • >>!for a 12:1 class and an ICT class is too big. There is just not an appropriate placement...(more) 11-26-2014 4:55pm
        In NYC publics. Would be different if we were in the burbs, possibly
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        • Burbs is not the holy grail people in nyc think it is, btdt 23 hr 59 min ago
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          • I don't think it is the holy grail. If I did we would have moved. I said maybe. I know plenty of burb kids who travel to NYC for sn schools 23 hr 55 min ago
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      • Wy would someone dislike this?? It's my experience with my dc 11-26-2014 8:43pm
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    • How is dc's self esteem? That would be a factor. 11-26-2014 8:21pm
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    • iep. hands down. as a btdt with both senarios 11-26-2014 8:23pm
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    • public 11-26-2014 8:23pm
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