Special Needs

  1. Special Needs Ds is 12 and has psychiatric issues. Whenever I think he's going to be okay he takes a turn for the worse. . 51 min ago (3 replies)
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    • therapy? meds? 46 min ago
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      • No, I am sure op has tried both in multiplicity. 44 min ago
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      • He does a combination of both. He's just not well 43 min ago
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  2. Special Needs I am so tired of my family never really GETTING that dd has sn. I have explained thoughtfully,, patiently and sensitively and I don't expect them to be just like me when they deal...(more) 59 min ago (14 replies)
    With her, or to not make mistakes or to misunderstand sometimes but the judging and ignoring and attitude like I am over
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    • ^^^somehow seeing sn where there isn't sn makes me NUTS 58 min ago
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    • wait, so your family can't see she has SN? what kind of SN is she? 53 min ago
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      • She has OCD/GAD, sensory issues, delayed social/play skills- a mixed bag but not always glaringly apparent if you don't know her well, which is why I explain it thoroughly,...(more) 49 min ago
        because, for example, they don't get tht the reason she is asking if one of her cousins is sick, repeatedly, is her OCD rearing up.
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        • Np sorry. Btdt with my sister and her dd who is same age as mine. How old is your dd? 47 min ago
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          • She's 9!! It's time to get with the program! 44 min ago
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            • Yah mine is turning 6 next month but i am still just a bad mom. With a bad kid. Ugh 41 min ago
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              • Seriosly, if your family can't have your kids back, who will? 39 min ago
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    • I'm sorry. For the longest time my ds was a product of my bad parenting. 50 min ago
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      • OP: ugh. That hard too. In my case, I'm a crazy helicopter mom who sees things that aren't there--although she has been evaluated, is in an SN class since preK and has therapy 48 min ago
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        • My family was under the impression that if there was no low iq or physical issues there wasn't any problem. everything in between is the parents fault. 47 min ago
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          • Argh. The point is, that your family are the people you can count on as being on your child's "team"! 42 min ago
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            • I know. That's the sad part. 41 min ago
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              • :( 39 min ago
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                • They've gotten better but the stigma still follows him. 33 min ago
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  3. Special Needs Need a good therapist for a tough hard to figure out possible ODD-ADD ds, teen yrs, male preferred, NYC or Bklyn. 1 hr 29 min ago (3 replies)
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  4. Special Needs Churchill moms : are shorts allowed for boys during the hot days? 2 hr 12 min ago (0 replies)
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  5. Special Needs I called the bus company to see about pick up time for dc. The driver just called and dc is #12 for pickup and they pick up time is still 45 min before school beings. Wow didn't...(more) 2 hr 13 min ago (5 replies)
    think dc be on the bus that long since we live 1.4 mi to school. I hope he doesn't puke ...fingers crossed
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    • ^^begins not beings 2 hr 13 min ago
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    • it's the luck of the draw...someone has to get the short stick...our bus pick up time is 7:17 and school starts at 8:10....the ride from out house to the school directly is 5 mins 1 hr 54 min ago
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      • Op: same here..it takes 5 min by car. Since this is our first time I had no idea living so close would take so long to get to school. If I didn't have another dc attending a...(more) 1 hr 42 min ago
        school in the opposite direction, I'd take them both to school
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        • can you drop off the "close" one first even if he is a bit early? 35 min ago
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          • No because they are on opposite ends (one way east and the other way west). Both have to be in at 8:15 and it's a 2 bus ride in btwn both schools :( 6 min ago
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  6. Special Needs Still no IEP meeting for dc who is in Gateway middle school. Weird right? Or do you thinkit results from them going unfunded (We are one of the unfunded families btw since we came...(more) 3 hr 16 min ago (2 replies)
    in for middle school.) I hope this helps our case.
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    • I have a friend who never got a meeting. DOE just indicated they will settle for 14-15. 2 hr 13 min ago
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    • No. We have not had our IEP meeting yet either nor have a lot of people I know. Not at gateway 1 min ago
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  7. Special Needs Poor DS is obviously getting nervous for the new school year. Verbally perseverating a ton lately. It's driving me nuts but I feel badly for him as I'm sure that's why there's an...(more) 3 hr 17 min ago (2 replies)
    increase.
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    • perservating? 3 hr 6 min ago
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      • np: check your board stamp 3 hr 5 min ago
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  8. Special Needs I stumbled on this old blog post from Susan Senator and thought I'd post it. Her blog is really neat....(more) 6 hr 25 min ago (0 replies)
  9. Special Needs Love this!...(more) 6 hr 51 min ago (1 reply)
  10. Special Needs So basically are the only SN middle schools for high functioning ASD type of kids Child and Summit? Is that it? Seems like the rest are more LD focused? 7 hr 23 min ago (18 replies)
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    • maybe Cooke too. Depends on how high the academic functioning is as I don't think the Cooke kids are at grade level. 6 hr 55 min ago
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      • strong academically with an above average IQ (not gifted or anything, but smart) 6 hr 55 min ago
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        • with strong academics, I assume you mean dc is at grade level (or above). In that case, I suspect Cooke would not be right. There is definitely a mix of kids there, both asd...(more) 6 hr 50 min ago
          times (whether or not diagnosed) and LD types. But the kids are not at grade level, even if they are smart (and some are). It does seem that the programs for the academically advanced are all for LD kids.
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      • Cooke may not be appropriate for a high functioning kid. 3 hr 19 min ago
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    • There aren't that many programs for high functioning ASD kids once you get past early grades. A lot mainstream to at least ICT by that age (if high-functioning). There's usually...(more) 6 hr 14 min ago
      a combination with another issue or more severe ASD if still in a SN school.
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      • really? how come this board is always talking about how the kids at Summit are so smart but just quirky? 5 hr 59 min ago
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        • np: I don't know who says that but it's sure not true about my Summit dc or any of dc's classmates! They are all way more than just quirky. 5 hr 32 min ago
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          • my dd was accepted and is LD, not quirky and not high IQ, but will probably go elsewhere. 33 min ago
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        • The kids I know who go there have other things going on, mostly social/emotional issues beyond mere HFA. 2 hr 22 min ago
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          • np: not to sound dumb, but what would be considered social/emotional issues beyond HFA? 26 min ago
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      • my dc is in ict now and doing pretty well, i feel like middle school will be so overwhelming just based on the size of the schools. my nt niece had a rough time last year and she...(more) 4 hr 12 min ago
        is just on the quiet side. my ds is hf asd.
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    • I know a bunch at Winston. 5 hr 29 min ago
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      • Winston parent here. There are definitly a lot of high functioning asd kids at Winston but they al, seem to have ld's or some issues that make functioning in a typical classroom...(more) 4 hr 37 min ago
        Difficult. Meaning that there is a lot of scaffolding, much more than in an ICT or typical classroom. So they are there to get support for the ld or exectutive functioning issues not necessarily just social support, which there is some but not much
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        • That describes Summit kids as well. I know multiple dcs who got into both. 4 hr 21 min ago
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          • Yes. I know a ton of summit kids as well. There is some crossover however Summit does offer much more social support and a behavior approach which IMO is more of an asd program....(more) 4 hr 15 min ago
            Winston is more of an ld program. I don't have a dc on the spectrum though. I looked at both as a parent of a child with ADHD and ld. Summit was clearly not for him. Winston has been wonderful for him
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    • I think some schools don't advertise themselves as for high functioning ASD kids, but as long as those kids don't need a ton of supports they accept them anyway. For example,...(more) 4 hr 39 min ago
      Lang (as reported here before) has said at least in the past that they don't take spectrum kids, but I know at least one there and I'm sure there's more. I think it's really on a kid by kid basis.
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      • actually, I want to correct myself. Lang specifically says on its website it accepts kids with Aspergers. 4 hr 36 min ago
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    • Some go to SLCD also. 4 hr 7 min ago
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  11. Special Needs Those of you who live outside of NYC and who don't have the special ed system as widely used as it is in NYC (i.e. you live in an area that pushes inclusion and mainstreaming for...(more) 8 hr 42 min ago (84 replies)
    kids with SNs). Do you feel comfortable with your child's education currently? Do you worry about him getting lost in the cracks? Marginalized?
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    • fwiw, inclusion & mainstreaming has a broad range of what that means. And studies show it's usually for the benefit of all students, which is why it's the norm vs. special ed...(more) 8 hr 39 min ago
      private schools. You can be in inclusion & still be in a self-contained classroom for most of the day for example. You push in for the activities the child can handle & be supported in.
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      • op: I have my opinion, obviously (I'm not such a big fan of inclusion, though the goal is good). I'm wondering what others' experiences are, as it may come to pass that we have to...(more) 8 hr 29 min ago
        move out of NYC and will be faced with the inclusion option only. I'm not trying to start a debate here.
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        • OK, well for my DD and many friends, inclusion has been fantastic. Is it perfect? No. But the pros outweigh the cons (for me the only con is obvious - not a ton of SN peers to...(more) 8 hr 26 min ago
          hang out with)
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          • What are her special needs, though? Is the significantly impaired? 8 hr 21 min ago
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          • op: I"m glad that it's working for you. I'm not arguing with you. I think inclusion is a great idea, but in practice, doesn't work as well in many, many cases. The kids get left...(more) 8 hr 20 min ago
            out, left behind, they are "other", weird, etc. I don't want my child to be the only kid in the grade with autism.
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            • but what will you do when he leaves school? it's a typical world out there - how is he going to navigate it? 8 hr 8 min ago
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              • I highly doubt that my HFA child is going to live an independent life. Being in an inclusion program won't change that. 8 hr 6 min ago
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                • that makes no sense if he is high functioning. 8 hr 4 min ago
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                  • He is high functioning, but I doubt he can live a fully independent life. 8 hr 4 min ago
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                    • just curious why you would think this though. I'm not suggesting you don't know your child, it just seems like most HFA kids I know are independent as young adults. 8 hr 2 min ago
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                      • I don't think he can handle the "real world". He's only 10yo, so I can't be sure. I just don't see it. I think there are so many more kids with these issues, that none of...(more) 8 hr 1 min ago
                        really know what their life will be like.
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                        • do you feel like you test the waters though? My DC is younger but we still have him do things to test and push his independence 7 hr 59 min ago
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                        • My friend thought the same. Her son is now out of college with a high paying technology job. Lives in another state, just fine. 7 hr 32 min ago
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                    • He is too young for you to know this. 7 hr 33 min ago
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                  • I'm the burb poster below. : There is a gap in the burbs for kids who are too high functioning for the sn schools but not mainstream able in HS / middle. You see a lot more self...(more) 8 hr 1 min ago
                    contained programs for middle. A friend of mine had a dc like this in Montclair and they created a great program for him a few years back for hs. Middletown has a program for these kids, vocational school ect. This is all inclusion but very different then college prep inclusion.
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                    • All the burb towns I know have either a college track or a life skills/work program for SN kids. Just curious what makes kids not 'mainstream able' in middle or high school in...(more) 8 hr ago
                      your opinion/observation from your town?
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                      • Those sn life skills programs are not created equally. I've been to conferences on them. There is no way a school can be everything to everyone as the law says they should be....(more) 7 hr 53 min ago
                        Schools will make a self contained room if needed b/c thats cheaper then shipping to another school or making a good program. -All kids have a different potential, even for nt kids. When kids are in middle that potential is a little more obvious important. You know if your college prep or more vocational. With sn its even more obvious, the gap gets bigger for many sn kids as they age.
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                        • but honestly how is this different in a SN private (other than an LD SN private I mean). I think you see this even in Child or Summit or any SN school that caters to more...(more) 7 hr 51 min ago
                          complicated kids esp any with ASD
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                          • its really not. Some 'inclusion' kids spend most of their day in self contained and only push in (or mainstream) for a tiny portion of the day. Where it is different is in the...(more) 7 hr 45 min ago
                            culture of the town and school. In my school those kids do track, rec sports and are accepted as part of the community. No school is perfect and there are always bullies, my asd dc was punched last year, inclusion is a philosophy. Our pta events have sn friendly components. Inclusion is a life philosophy.
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                            • ^ and our school is good b/c we have a bcba on staff that works on social skills. 7 hr 44 min ago
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                            • ITA it's a philosophy. I'm sorry your DC has experienced bullying too - but FWIW, my DC experienced it, and it was in a SN school. You're not immune no matter what setting you are...(more) 7 hr 42 min ago
                              in, unfortunately. It's part of life.
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                          • The life skills program at our burb public is for low functioning kids to teach them to tie their shoes, maybe learn basic reading and writing. Kids whose IQs are no where near...(more) 7 hr 19 min ago
                            the normal range.
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                            • np: my friend's DS is in a life skills program that teaches them how to cook, clean, do basic life duties for themselves to be independent. There's also a vocational component to...(more) 7 hr 18 min ago
                              it.
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                              • Each program and school is different in the burbs so what a sn self contained has a wide variety of meanings and functioning level. 7 hr 17 min ago
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                                • yeah, I guess so. So how does anyone decide to move when they are so different, and can even change? Plus who your kid is at 5 isn't necessarily who they are at 11 or 15? 7 hr 15 min ago
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                                  • It i a leap of faith. For us, we moved b/c I did not want the rat race of nyc. I wanted inclusion. For me its more laid back, no lawyers. A np helped me know what dc needed...(more) 7 hr 11 min ago
                                    and then I went and visited towns we could afford, that worked for our commute and talked to everyone. 9 years later, we are still in the same town. The sn program has changed but most of the key therapists are still there. I cant keep track of how many principals and directors of special services weve had. I keep the same case manager. Thats life.
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                                    • thanks. Has your DC changed a lot over those 9 years? I'm a little freaked about the comments that kids can MS fine in elementary but hit a wall in middle or high school. 7 hr 7 min ago
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                                      • Yes, my dc was not verbal at 3 and is fully mainstreamed, no aide ect. He has some supports, speech, adaptive tech, extra time. He has progressed as our dev ped predicted at 3...(more) 7 hr 4 min ago
                                        and np said. Dc will never be NT. In nyc terms, he's a summit student.
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                                        • WOW that's amazing. What's his dx now? My DS was verbal at 3 but now at 7 is still behind with pragmatics. How is your DC socially? 7 hr ago
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                                          • It was AS so Autism. He'd classified as AUT. He has autism. He has poor eye contact. He is not great with pragmatics but he has friends. They are a quirky group and he's...(more) 6 hr 56 min ago
                                            their social super star. Think Anthony Michale Hall in sixteen candels but on the spectrum. He has no guile, very bright, good disposition so the quirks are forgiven.
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                                            • damn, that's great. I wish this for my DC. How did you get there? Kids are starting to really notice DC is odd (though a great kid) 6 hr 55 min ago
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                                              • oh they notice my dc is odd too but we try to teach him how to laugh at himself + his friends are also very odd. They all have dx's of some sort. We do the same as you. You try...(more) 6 hr 52 min ago
                                                to do your best and keep pushing dc. They do the hard part, not us.
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                                        • ^ my dc started in sn school. 7 hr ago
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                                      • this is because school gets so much harder in middle school. Think about it. Most people even those with relatively (not profoundly)...(more) 6 hr 40 min ago
                                        low IQs learn to read and write and add, subtract, etc. But algebra, reading Shakespeare, more abstract concepts are harder to get. By middle school a student is expected to be able to read just about anything.
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                      • In our school they can't keep up in the work for various reasons. But the life skills program is mostly filled with Down's Syndrome kids, not appropriate for most other SN kids. 7 hr 28 min ago
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                      • Dyslexic kids with normal IQs don't fit in either track (unless the dyslexia has been remediated). Likely other types of LDs but I am not familiar with them. Kids with behavioral...(more) 7 hr 25 min ago
                        issues and ED kids.
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                        • np: our burb offers wilson and resource for dylexia. Starting in 3rd kids go to school early to get wilson then go to resource where the wilson is applied to academics. In...(more) 7 hr 22 min ago
                          grades where the # of dyslexics is high they are all in the same class and that group goes to resource as a whole or the sn teacher pushes in.
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                          • you must have a bigger burb. Our school has few SN kids. One reading teacher in elementary and zero after that. 6 hr 38 min ago
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                            • Actually its tiny just a good sn program. 6 hr 28 min ago
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                              • ^ only a handful are in the before school Wilson. It's mixed grade. Goes slower then private would do so many opt out to do private which makes the public better LOL. 6 hr 26 min ago
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                          • where is this wonderful burb? 6 hr 38 min ago
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                            • np:NJ passed dyslexia legislation last year so programs like this are popping up all over the state. They even did a free training / certification this summer for parents and...(more) 5 hr 55 min ago
                              teachers.
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                              • ^ Karen Kimberlin, a slp in Shrewsbury, was a big part in getting this done. I'd bet she could guide you to the good districts. 5 hr 53 min ago
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                • I know a number of HFA adults who do. Usually not so HF if not able to do that. My brother still consults me for help managing the social interaction side of things, but...(more) 6 hr 12 min ago
                  has lived independently since finishing college (he's 48).
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            • These days she won't be, no matter where she goes to school. Spectrum kids everywhere from SN schools to ICT to gen ed to G&T. 6 hr 11 min ago
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        • I always find it strange that people say they are not fans without ever trying it, I live in NYC and I sometimes wonder with all the choices etc. if my child might be better off...(more) 7 hr 40 min ago
          in a small town with one school. In my sister's kids school they have grown up with kids with various disabilities and haven't thought of them so much as different because they have always been in their classes since K on
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          • Is the school really educating those kids or just pushing them along from year to year? 7 hr 22 min ago
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            • np: you can say that about the SN privates too! I have friends whose DCs are in 3rd who cannot read and barely can add. Yet they keep "promoting" them & telling the parents how...(more) 7 hr 21 min ago
              great they are doing!
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            • depends on the school. Read this post. I mean really read it. There are great inclusion programs. There are also awful ones. 7 hr 19 min ago
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              • but no one has posted about awful ones. Only that they have "heard" or that they feel it's not right for their DS (but never tried it) 7 hr 17 min ago
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                • Are you on YBM? So many on here had bad experience in and that is why they are in sn private. The majority of posters are in NYC and have not seen good inclusion. 7 hr 15 min ago
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                  • Right, but that's the entire point. This board is very NYC centric, with really no experience outside of the SN world here 7 hr 14 min ago
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        • Depends on your child's needs and what the school offers. Check out each school system carefully so you choose one that works for your dc....(more) 7 hr 35 min ago
          Start with the SEPTA parents -the schools are not so open about it.
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    • I'm more worried about my DC living in a SN bubble in NYC and being clueless in the real world when the time comes 8 hr 27 min ago
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      • op: I worry about that, too, but I also know that my child's self-esteem is intact because he is educated in a place where his issues are understood, well addressed and where...(more) 8 hr 19 min ago
        other kids he goes to school with have their issues/quirks.
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        • that can happen in inclusion too. 8 hr 7 min ago
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          • That's not the experience of friends I know. I would love to hear about those places. 8 hr 7 min ago
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            • just because it didn't work for them doesn't mean it couldn't work for you. FWIW I worry about life after SN school. I know kids who graduated, attended college for a semester &...(more) 8 hr 5 min ago
              now live home with their parents doing nothing. And a couple went to Summit, which is pushed here as amazing.
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              • I know. I worry. 8 hr 4 min ago
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    • Hijack: if someone could find me an excellent district in Westchester or northern NJ where I could be sure my HFA ds could be educated well and have some kind of a happy...(more) 8 hr 18 min ago
      experience, I'd consider moving. But I've not heard of one.
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      • We all want this but there is no guarantee in life especially school. 8 hr 16 min ago
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        • or: I know. The poster below has had a good experience. I'm at a loss of what to do. 8 hr 15 min ago
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          • np: you make the decision to take the chance if it comes down to that. The SN privates are not without their cons/drawbacks either, so staying isn't all pie in the sky perfection...(more) 7 hr 58 min ago
            eithetr
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      • Look at big districts. Otherwise your child will be the "only one" or one of a very few. 7 hr 19 min ago
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        • This is not true signed poster in a very very small district known for sn. We get out of district placements....(more) 3 hr 40 min ago
          You need to ask sn to nt ratio.
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    • My dcs have had a great experience with inclusion. One has been inclusion for 7 years. He started self contained and did that one year then inclusion with support. Each year the...(more) 8 hr 17 min ago
      support became less and less. We are in a great district. This dc falls into the sweet spot of the districts program and while no school is perfect we are happy and will never move. Dh still works in NYC and here we can go golf club, vacations, pool club. Its a better quality of life for our family. My other dc is a little outside of the districts sweet spot but still thriving. I have to watch him a little more but his program is still better than any other public around and the local sn private. We looked at all the options recently as we considered a move.
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      • Poster directly above you. Is one of your children on the spectrum? If so, would you mind sharing your district? 8 hr 16 min ago
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        • sorry, I'm not comfortable sharing. Just b/c its good for my dc does not mean its good for yours. It really depends upon how your dc functions. I'm also not in the area your...(more) 8 hr 13 min ago
          looking. There are MANY great options you need to have an idea of what type of inclusion program you want and look for schools that offer that. Millburn has a great program for HFA. Montclair did. I've heard its getting a little over run and become more self contained as a result. You need to look at areas you like that work for your commute and budget.
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          • Okay, thanks. No budget, really, but commute can't be too long for dh. I'd heard Milburn is no longer as great as it was. I've heard Ridgewood. And Larchmont. That's pretty much...(more) 8 hr 11 min ago
            all I hear.
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            • Millburn is still good. I have friends there. It's like my district. My district has been great for me but I have friends in litigation every year. For the life of me, I cant...(more) 8 hr 8 min ago
              understand why they dont move to a better fitting district. Millburn is the same. Its great for some and awful for others. This is why people dont post their district. People hear that its good and just assume it will be and if its not the right fit and litigation occurs that take a lot of $ out of the sn program to pay for the lawyers ect.
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              • Is Milburn a nice town? I thought the rep is super competitive and snotty. 8 hr 7 min ago
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                • You need to decide that for yourself. 8 hr 6 min ago
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                • np: some is snotty/competitive, not all of it. We have friends there & they are low key people. Really it's Short Hills that has the $$$ 8 hr 2 min ago
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          • ^ google Jed Baker and watch the video. That gives you one example of an inclusion program. 8 hr 10 min ago
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            • np: just watched it. I wish we could clone this man. He's pretty amazing. 7 hr 35 min ago
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              • He's great. His lectures are great too. I've been to a few. Worth an hour drive. Other schools besides Millburn have programs like this. I have friend in Millburn who loved...(more) 7 hr 29 min ago
                it, loves Jed but come HS, they went sn private boarding school. They offered her ds the world but that did not come close to what the sn boarding school could offer. Sn schooling is tough. There is no one right way.
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                • very true. also very hard to know one way or the other which is the right choice, as there are tradeoffs whether your stay MS or do SN 7 hr 19 min ago
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    • I am in Lower Merrion school district outside Philadelphia. My ds on the spectrum has been in an inclusion program for three years. It is excellent. 8 hr 2 min ago
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      • np: interesting! We don't hear much about PA on the board. 8 hr 1 min ago
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        • This is a fabulous school district. Ds in third grade now. - 4th year in school. He has a shadow that he shares with one other child. 7 hr 46 min ago
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          • can you also share some other things the program offers/does that makes it good? 7 hr 46 min ago
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    • We're in Boston burbs. School has been great so far, but of course I worry. Every year the gap in behavior between DS and his peers is going to get wider. 6 hr 10 min ago
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    • We live in a very rural area. Our dd is mainstreamed. I do think it is more of a challenge because there are few resources where we are but her school really does try. 5 hr 54 min ago
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      • wWhat about Conneticut? Branford, Guilford or Madison? 4 hr 5 min ago
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  12. Special Needs How am I supposed to deal long term when ds's SN basically presents as him acting like a spoiled asshole? I'm serious. His new NP is looking to be much worse than we anticipated...(more) 8 hr 55 min ago (28 replies)
    and I can hardly take him in public unless doing exactly and only what he wants to do. Dr is talking about starting him on meds for anxiety, depression and stimulants. I think I need a support group bc I cannot take much more of his behavior and when I lose it at him I feel horrible bc I know he can't help it.
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    • Definitely look into a support group. Also is DS getting therapy on top of the meds? It will help both of you. How old is he? 8 hr 53 min ago
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      • He is 8, they've rec'd ABA and a social skills class already but we haven't started. I'm not sure how ABA is going to work bc we are rarely home for long and his behavior can be...(more) 8 hr 51 min ago
        so normal until something doesn't go his way. We'll kinda.
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        • When does he start getting the services? 8 hr 49 min ago
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          • Couple weeks 8 hr 35 min ago
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            • will they be drawing up both a BIP for school and also ABA support at home? Both will help 8 hr 34 min ago
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              • Not sure exactly what he will get for school, he's remarkably good at school which is great but hurts him in some ways too. What's BIP? 8 hr 32 min ago
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                • BIP is a behavioral Plan.. 8 hr 25 min ago
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                  • It makes me insane that he does so well at school but then RUINS everyone's day at home he has 2 sibs who are totally lost in the shuffle 8 hr 24 min ago
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                • ^is ABA only private pay? 8 hr 25 min ago
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        • That is exactly what ABA will address. Be sure you get a good, experienced therapist. IT will change his life 7 hr 58 min ago
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          • Really? How? I can just imagine him acting perfect until the therapist leaves. I'm soooo tired of having to adapt the rest of the family's every move so as to not set him off and...(more) 7 hr 48 min ago
            it doesn't work anyway.
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            • np: One of the great things about a good ABA therapist is that they are portable - we used to send the therapist out and about with dc and the ABA would deliberately trigger...(more) 7 hr 46 min ago
              situations that could cause trouble in order to be able to work on them in the moment. For example if your kid freaks out about auto flush toilets, you make it a goal to visit places with those and you create a program to deal with them. You can do that with SO many things - waiting on line at grocery store, eating out, going to the post office, approaching kids at the playground or dealing with crowds of kids who don't give up the swing fast enough. Etc. etc. etc.
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              • Oh! I had no idea. 7 hr 38 min ago
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                • ^i really want to thank you for responding to me and telling me this! Not sure what I'd do w/o you guys sometimes. 7 hr 36 min ago
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    • My friend has a child like that. Take pride in that you are working your hardest to remedy w therapy amd medication. 8 hr 50 min ago
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    • IME start treating the anxiety/depression first (usually it's an SSRI like Zoloft or Prozac), and then see if the stimulants are even necessary. Sometimes the anxiety presents as...(more) 8 hr 48 min ago
      inattentiveness. Also the meds will make him more available for therapy to work, and it will take that edge off of him & his behavior will improve.
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      • Exactly, they didn't even think therapy would make sense until medicated but the stimulants are for his extreme impulsive risk taking behavior 8 hr 34 min ago
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        • just a warning - the stimulants usually make anxiety worse, and if your DC is ASD, even more likely to happen. See a really good child psychiatrist who is well versed on...(more) 8 hr 33 min ago
          medications for ASD DC. Often just the SSRI will cut down the impulsivity too - seriously, a lot of the behavior can stem from the anxiety & depression - the anxiety in particular puts DC on edge/ on a fight or flight state of being all the time. Once that is removed, everything improves.
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          • Fs is not ASD he has brain damage from a stroke. But we are "treating the symptoms" our psych is great but we haven't decided anything yet and I'm not sure if his dx makes his...(more) 8 hr 30 min ago
            reaction to stimulants different from a dc with asd
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            • Oh OK gotcha. 8 hr 26 min ago
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              • They do say he has asd- like behaviors though like for social skills class 8 hr 23 min ago
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    • My ASD 10yo is a sweet kid, but when he doesn't get his way, he throws a fit, screaming, cursing and often hitting. In public. It affects where we can go and every aspect of our...(more) 8 hr 43 min ago
      lives. I feel your pain.
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      • This is exactly my experience, he throws products in shelves in store around, hitting displays, me ect if I tell him no and he's often so normal that people do not understand. 8 hr 33 min ago
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    • I am sorry that is very, very rough. I hope that ABA and meds help. Are you in NYC there are a bunch of different therapy groups and I also recommend going to someone individually...(more) 8 hr 33 min ago
      if you can afford it time/$ wise
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      • Individually for myself you mean? I think I need it. I'm mean mommy and I hate it 8 hr 28 min ago
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        • yes for yourself - I have a child with different issues, but went to a group for several years and now see my own therapist as an outlet to get the feelings like not always liking...(more) 7 hr 42 min ago
          my child out in a healthy way
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          • I need this. I think I may also need meds, not sure what kind but I get irrationally angry 7 hr 37 min ago
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            • ^ I should have also added that, I was antidepressants for several rough years and weaned off them when I got to a better place 7 hr 27 min ago
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  13. Special Needs I need to vent. We are switching ds to a new therapist so that he can eventually see the psychatrist (don't ask, it's how it works where we are and we don't have a lot of...(more) 10 hr 2 min ago (7 replies)
    options). His old therapist is NOT returning calls from the new place so they can't get his records so they won't schedule him! I am near tears. PLUS ebcasue of our insurance he can only see someone who is licensed, and they only have 2 of them at the place. Now, I could possibly drive an hour each way to get him to a place sooner MAYBE but then he would miss all of soccer season and have no time for what he loves. I give up.
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    • Is his of therapist possibly on vacation? Are you leaving messages with a receptionist who can possibly help you? Is there a partner in the office? 10 hr ago
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      • They called a few days ago, I called 2 weeks ago! nothing radio silence 9 hr 59 min ago
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        • You called once two weeks ago? Call every day. 9 hr 58 min ago
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          • Np: yes call every day and stop by in person. Also call the new place and explain the situation and ask if there is anything they can do to help or expiate the process. I'd also...(more) 9 hr 54 min ago
            Send a letter certified mail requesting files. Keep the copy - just incase.
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            • yes, I spoke with the new place today. THey are having a meeting today and are going to ask about getting him on the schedule without the paperwork. He took the summer off, so...(more) 9 hr 49 min ago
              it's been a few months. SO I am hoping they will et him on the scheudle
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              • I'd ask that they at least pencil him on to hold the spot. 9 hr 27 min ago
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    • If this is just a therapist I'm not sure why it's crucial they have his records prior to seeing/scheduling him. IMO that is odd. I would be proactive if they MUST have the records...(more) 8 hr 57 min ago
      - fill out an authorization form & mail it to your old therapists office. Ask the new office for the form. Tell the old therapist you'll pay for the copying of the records. Put in the letter that you MUST have the records prior to being admitted into the new practice. I'd even call & leave an urgent request that they return the calls, and that your DC needs to be seen ASAO
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  14. Special Needs Yay. Adhd ds 6 kind of sat through abd processed a full movie. Yes, it was related to a topic he fixates on (basketball) but he got the plot and cried at the sad part, was happy...(more) 10 hr 41 min ago (5 replies)
    in the happy part. Air bud.
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    • : ) 10 hr 40 min ago
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    • Are you the one who posted yesterday looking for movie suggestions? 10 hr 18 min ago
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      • Yes 36 min ago
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        • Snd thx for all the great ones! 35 min ago
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          • That's fantastic that you had success. His repertoire just got bigger! 24 min ago
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  15. Special Needs When I went into ds's new elementary school to meet the CST, I happened to meet one of the K teachers. Young, energetic, who taught Special Ed for several years before moving into...(more) 10 hr 50 min ago (12 replies)
    the K placement. She happened to help me photocopy some papers and we ended up chatting all about ds. Was hoping I'd get her as a teacher. Got our assignment yesterday, and from googling, looks like we have the older teacher nearing retirement who (again, from google) has had a contentious relationship with another school district (there was a lawsuit). I've never been *that* parent, but would you try and change the class assignment? Ds has major anxiety, and we're repeating K after an awful K experience last year at another school.
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    • Given last year's experience I would definitely try to change it. Very hard 10 hr 46 min ago
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    • Yes I would. 10 hr 45 min ago
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    • op: Okay, just emailed a friend whose dd had this teacher, and she said she is super warm, nurturing, creative, the epitome of a K teacher. 10 hr 38 min ago
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      • ^^^ So maybe I just see how it goes? 10 hr 38 min ago
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        • Well, you can't ask for any better than that, right? But still if your DC had a terrible experience last year and is repeating, I would definitely meet with the teacher early on...(more) 10 hr 31 min ago
          just to talk. Good luck!
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          • Yes, I will definitely. Thanks! 10 hr 16 min ago
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        • exactly. an older teacher is not a "worse" teacher -may be better. A lawsuit could be over something having nothing to do w/how good a teacher she is. My mother sued a school...(more) 6 hr 20 min ago
          district over a temporary disability issue.
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    • Did the new principal and CSe team know about your sons experience last year? If so take heart that she is a good fit. If not I would inform them because it is critical the...(more) 10 hr 22 min ago
      teacher make DS feel safe and happy there first and foremost in order for him to be successful this year. Btdt. Approach things with a positive attitude and work together with the teacher and his therapists as a team with you all with the goal of a great year for DS. Good luck :) think positively!!
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      • Oh yes, they definitely knew. I forwarded all his IEP stuff, plus evals from all of his teachers/therapists who talked about his meltdowns last year. That's why I was so suprirsed...(more) 10 hr 16 min ago
        we didn't get the "special ed" teacher. But yes, I will cross my fingers and hope that they know what they're doing!
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        • It is probably because the other teacher has many years of experience and is well versedn in more challenging students. While the new teacher has great energy and is sweet that...(more) 8 hr 54 min ago
          doesn't mean she really knows what she is doing with respect to teaching K in the new setting. Stay positive they are doing the right thing. Be proactive & reach out to the new teacher early on and set the groundwork that you are looking forward to your DS being with her this year, that you are available should she have any questions. Also set that tone with the CSE team at your team meetings. It makes a HUGE difference both for them, and you, to have the tone of "we're all in this together". I really wish your DS a good year.
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          • ^^also IMO if it is a 'disaster" (unlikely), you have more of a leg to stand on if you want to switch DS vs. just throwing out there the fact the other teacher is older & you read...(more) 8 hr 51 min ago
            something on google, kwim? But I'd be very surprised if they didn't put him with the older teacher for good reason - with your DS' history - it wouldn't benefit him or the teacher to have him with someone who wouldn't be a good fit.
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            • You are 100% right. Thank you. 6 hr 30 min ago
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  16. Special Needs This post is a brag but I hope you can all share in it. Ds has never tested well. We were shocked at some of the lows in his eval. Had 2s in each of the last couple years in ELA....(more) 8-28-2014 8:17pm (23 replies)
    This year he got a 3.2 in ELA and a 4.1 in math! ADHD, dysgraphia, etc. I'm just so glad he can feel what it's like to get a good score and go into school with confidence. Thanks for letting me share.
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    • Congrats - really good to see success like that in these tests that everyone complains about. 8-28-2014 8:19pm
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    • That's great! 8-28-2014 8:19pm
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    • hooray! my kiddo also has adhd/dysgraphia. that's huge!! 8-28-2014 8:21pm
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      • Are you the one that posted about good scores this year too? I was happy to see that post. (-: 8-28-2014 8:22pm
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        • no, i guess there are a few of us. we are in WA and scores aren't in yet. he has a scribe, though, so hopefully things went okay. 8-28-2014 8:22pm
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        • ^the funny thing is that he chose to forgo his accommodation (extended time, scribe, etc) for math and that was the best score. 8-28-2014 8:23pm
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        • Hey, there are 3 of us! Must be the year for dysgraphic kids to rock the ELA... 22 hr 41 min ago
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          • us too, nyc. adhd, dysgraphia with scribe and extended time (which he did not need to use - finished early) and we got 3.18 and 4.08. to me this means the supports really did...(more) 8 hr 59 min ago
            help.
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            • op. wow. Those are almost identical to ds' scores--3.19 and 4.12. He wants to try next year (6th) without the scribe. A little nervous but may because he didn't seem to need...(more) 8 hr 11 min ago
              the time either.
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              • "Only" 3.18 and 4.03 here, but 3rd so we didn't prep at all to get his baseline. Saw his teacher when we went to drop off school supplies today, and she said that he was right in...(more) 6 hr 7 min ago
                the middle of the pack for his (G&T) class.
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    • wonderful! you must feel so great. how does he feel? 8-28-2014 8:24pm
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      • He is very pleased...did that trying not to smile smile. (-: 8-28-2014 8:24pm
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        • lol. love it! 23 hr 57 min ago
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      • As for me, I know it's not a big deal, but at the same time I'm going to try to use it as a reminder for me to lower my anxiety level, concerns about future, etc 23 hr 59 min ago
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        • it IS a big deal. come on! 23 hr 57 min ago
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    • Op. Let me add that among his poor scores were a 29% on the g&t test a few years ago. Someone on toddler asked in response "is he retarded?" 23 hr 55 min ago
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      • yes. there are a few people here who are simply cruel. i wonder what's lacking in their lives to write such offensive trash. but that is the point of it, to shock. 23 hr 53 min ago
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        • I mean it's a test of giftedness and the score is in the form of a percentile...obviously there are results all over the spectrum. The hard part was my younger son got a 98%....(more) 23 hr 50 min ago
          Didn't tell either one the score, but I'm just glad that the older one can feel proud since his younger brother will probably score well when he begins taking these tests.
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      • my dc bombed the city g&t and scored top 5% of all test takers in the country when salsberg administered the same WISC test. 8 hr 54 min ago
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    • Congrats -- whats the scale on these tests? Do kids in NPS have to get scores from their schools? 23 hr 26 min ago
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      • I don't know what NPS is. There are a certain number of questions on each test and you get a score from 1-4 but they also give you a percentile 23 hr ago
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        • How do you get a 4.1 if the top score is a 4? 21 hr 43 min ago
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          • The top score is 4.5, but the categories are 1-4 21 hr 42 min ago
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  17. Special Needs Earlier this week someone posted a link (i'll put it inside) for buying PULL-UP jeans for boys with fine motor issues. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. My son was so happy when I...(more) 8-28-2014 7:40pm (6 replies)
    told him tonight that the package that came in the mail is for him. He looked and said "The other boys wear jeans. Now I can too." He's aspie and has never, ever had jeans. I'm so glad I took a chance and bought four pairs (two each of two styles) and am about to order some in the next size up. Again, thanks!!!! The link to the earlier discussion is: http://www.youbemom.com/forum/permalink/7457202/i-just-found-these-jeans-for-those-of-us-with-boys-who-are-big-and-hav (I'm the 'thank you' there. And, I just posted an answer to the last comment: nope, the drawstring is just decorative!!!)
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    • Agree...that was a great link she shared. I ordered two of them and am waiting for the delivery. My son loves jeans but prefers the ease of pull on jeans. Glad your son is happy...(more) 8-28-2014 7:44pm
      with his
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      • They look like they have drawstrings. How are those, or are they just for show and not functional/needing to be tied? 22 hr 40 min ago
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        • the gymboree pants (what i, op, got) has purely decorative drawstrings that do nothing. not functional at all. super easy. these are literally pull on. the denim isn't as thick...(more) 22 hr 14 min ago
          as the jeans i'd buy for myself or that my nt kid wears. i think the denim is comparable in feel to what you'd have on a thick pair of khakis/chinos. my son usually wears pull on pants from childrens place and i think the fabric of these is the denim equivalent of their pull on pants. hope that helps.
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          • On Crazy 8 site they show these jeans come with what looks like knee patches for added protection 12 hr 56 min ago
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            • i ordered the gymboree ones so i can't comment at all on the ones from other vendors. AND HE"S WEARING THEM TO SCHOOL TODAY!!!! 11 hr 54 min ago
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              • Gotcha. crazy 8 is gymboree company too just in case you didn't know. The quality is a little less than gymboree but for play clothes it's a great value 11 hr 24 min ago
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  18. Special Needs ADHD ds got first bad report of the year. 4 days in. I cried the entire way home from picking him up because I already am beginning to feel the pressure and anxiety of what is to...(more) 8-28-2014 5:57pm (20 replies)
    come this year. The thing that kills me is sometimes I can convince myself we are making progress, but then he has a day like today and it feels like such a huge setback. I don't see any progress...it is the same issues from preschool!!! I mean am I crazy in thinking he will get better with coping with this? He has no friends, no one wants to interact with someone who behaves the way he does. I try to explain this to him. He just doesn't care. Therapy, OT...nothing seems to get through to him. I'm at the end of my rope. Vent over.
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    • my ds starts tuesday and i'm terrified. hoping he will get it together but showing no signs of that 8-28-2014 5:59pm
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      • He was doing so well for 3 days, and had no major issues at camp (of course right? because at camp he wasn't being asked to be still). I actually tricked myself into...(more) 8-28-2014 6:01pm
        thinking maybe he will be okay this year.
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    • Hey, it was one bad day. There are 100s of days to go. I've been in many elementary classrooms and I can tell you almost every kid gets a bad report at some point in time,...(more) 8-28-2014 6:08pm
      especially at the beginning of the year when teachers are being tough in order to set expectations. Every kid has a bad day every once in a while. How old is he?
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      • 7 turning 8. He was being told not to run. He had to move his card down to red. He got so angry in front of his entire class he ripped up the card and stomped on it, threw a...(more) 8-28-2014 6:11pm
        tantrum, knocked over a chair and screamed no at the teacher. I feel this is a little beyond just a normal bad day teacher setting rules.
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        • ^^Sorry he is 6 turning 7!!! jesus. you would think I know how old my kid is. It's one of those days. I've had 4 hours sleep. Sorry. 8-28-2014 6:12pm
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          • He has impulsivity issues, sure. But he is young! And you are doing every thing you can for him. It will take time. Please don't take this day as proof of how the rest of his/your...(more) 8-28-2014 6:14pm
            life will go! Go be nice to yoursaelf. Have a glass of wine, watch your favorite show, get to bed early. If you can't do all of that, try to work in somethign! you deserve it
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            • thanks. =) that's actually really nice to hear. You're right I need to not be over dramatic about one bad day. 8-28-2014 6:16pm
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          • what therapies/meds does he get? 8-28-2014 6:17pm
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            • no meds although now I am seriously considering. He is in talk therapy 2/ month OT once a week. His dx is mild to moderate combined type adhd. 8-28-2014 6:19pm
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              • hm I doubt talk therapy is going to help that much with this kind of impulsivity. I am speaking as mom of a dd with HFA who had similar issues in K. classroom tantrums, etc 8-28-2014 6:21pm
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                • The talk therapy is more for talking out how is impulsive behavior makes others feel. He works on a program I don't know exactly what it is, but he has to visualize every emotion...(more) 8-28-2014 6:23pm
                  as something a glass monster..so he does this thing...crushing the glass monster. We started the talk therapy because he was telling us that every time he would do something bad, it wasn't him, it was the other kid who lived in the garage and he would come off and look around pretending he had been absent for the last hour, not recollecting any of the bad behaviour that had happened. He was separating two selves.
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                  • ^^he's very bright, and I feel like these little games were total bullshit, but also he needed to talk to someone about why he was doing it. He also lies profusely. Lots of other...(more) 8-28-2014 6:25pm
                    things there...
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                  • np: he might understand this, but that said he still might not be able to control the impulsivity in the moment. He lacks that pause button. 8-28-2014 6:47pm
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          • be kind to yourself. It's OK. Does he need meds? If he does, then get them for him. It is not a defeat. It's like getting braces for a kid who needs them. 8-28-2014 7:53pm
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        • np: Honestly, I would kind of feel the same way if I had to turn my card to red in front of the whole class. 8-28-2014 8:03pm
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        • Wow, our public school does not use cards or anything like that. Sounds shaming. 18 hr 40 min ago
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    • Time to consider medication if you haven't already. You've exhausted the other options - and truthfully you might find the therapy more effective once he is medicated too! 8-28-2014 6:47pm
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      • thanks. after today I am strongly considering it. 8-28-2014 7:50pm
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        • Yes, try to imagine yourself embarrassed infront of the entire class and nor being able to control your feelings. Not only the meltdown but the shane. If our lids are diabetic, no...(more) 21 hr 39 min ago
          brainer but we fight mental health meds because of the stigma but what if proper meds could him him fit in and regulate himself--huge possibilities hopefully
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          • thanks. You know the only real reason I have shied away thus far is because I felt like 6 was so young. But now that he is 7 I feel like it is time. I will talk to dh about it. I...(more) 21 hr 21 min ago
            really like the terms you put it into here. Made me think of it in a different way. Thank you!
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  19. Special Needs Ohhh pizza rolls are 99cents at shoprite next week! 8-28-2014 4:28pm (1 reply)
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    • Ack sorry forgot to switch to toddler 8-28-2014 4:28pm
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  20. Special Needs I've gotten the kids back to a nice school starting soon bedtime schedule but I haven't gotten myself back into the routine yet. Next week is going to be hectic I think 8-28-2014 4:27pm (1 reply)
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  21. Special Needs First year in public with a 504 so this may be dumb question but the 504 says stuff about cushion to sit on and chew things- do I supply these or does the school ot? 8-28-2014 4:09pm (6 replies)
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    • I had to buy dd's cushion and adaptive scissors 8-28-2014 4:11pm
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      • Fuck that reminds me I have to buy leftie scissors for him. 8-28-2014 4:11pm
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    • schoool 8-28-2014 4:11pm
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      • Op- so basically based on these two answers I need to just ask the school huh? 8-28-2014 4:13pm
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        • yes, generally speaking the school assumes the burden of cost if its on the iep. It gets complicated when the adaptive tech gets expensive. Lets say a dc needs an ipad. If the...(more) 8-28-2014 4:25pm
          school buys it should the student be able to bring it home? Think of agumentitive communicate devices, special chairs and desks ect. If its necessary for learning technically the school should supply, that being said I have purchased many items just to cut through the red tape and earn some points with the school.
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  22. Special Needs Just received the IEP meeting letter. Anyone ever deal with Aminah Lucio and Janet Gaston in their meetings? 8-28-2014 3:41pm (8 replies)
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    • what district 21 hr 39 min ago
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      • and pretty late for an IEP--when you you get services, etc.? 21 hr 38 min ago
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        • District 1 so it's the region 9 office 7th ave 13 hr 6 min ago
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          • ^^^they are so behind and should have had a meeting with me months ago. They are delinquent as usual 13 hr 6 min ago
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            • ^^dc services ended with the end of this past school year. Supposed to start up again next week 13 hr 5 min ago
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              • ^^not only is this late! they still haven't placed him for school this year. We have a spot at a funded but am expecting a fight. Hopefully they will see he needs this spot and...(more) 13 hr ago
                their screw up will make approval of the funded spot easier. Fingers crossed
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          • Np: I think they were behind. We just got ours with a meeting second week of Sep. We are able to use old I EP until meeting date for dc's school (SEIT etc). 13 hr 4 min ago
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            • Op: dc is going in to K and they still didn't place him. He aged out of his preschool in June...I informed them in March and asked for a meeting and this is when I get the meeting 12 hr 58 min ago
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  23. Special Needs Winston HS Mom---If you see this, can you pls. post the cell phone policy, what happens if you are often late getting to school or returning from lunch, what's the internet access...(more) 8-28-2014 3:29pm (1 reply)
    during classtime, ie: will your device be taken away if you "stray" from what you're supposed to be doing? Thanks.
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    • Hi. I'm here. Is your dc starting there. Not eaxactly sure about the lateness problem my dc is always on time, very anal about that. Cell phones need to be off during the day,...(more) 23 hr 59 min ago
      but they can and do use them during lunch. They will take cell phones away and have you come in and get it if there is use of it during the day.
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  24. Special Needs Where can I find teh form for medical accomodations for busing? Last year DS has limited travel and AC, but this year nothing. 8-28-2014 3:01pm (7 replies)
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    • Its on the doe website but so hard to find. I usually google "NYC doe request medical accommodation bus" or something and that gets me the doc. 8-28-2014 3:03pm
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      • I tried but just gets me to general page about transportaion. Anyone have the link? Please. 8-28-2014 3:04pm
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        • this is what I get. http://schools.nyc.gov/Academics/SpecialEducation/programs/additionalservices/transportation.htm 8-28-2014 3:06pm
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        • Here you go, I found it....(more) 8-28-2014 3:07pm
          • ^and yes unfortunately you have to ask for AC and LTT all over again every year and prove your case every year. :( 8-28-2014 3:08pm
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            • Awesome! Thank you so much! 8-28-2014 3:09pm
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              • YW and GL! The most important thing is what your MD says when the CSE doctor calls them (and Nother sucky thing is that the CSE doctor only comes in about once a week to make...(more) 8-28-2014 3:11pm
                those calls...so make SURE that your doctor is very accurate about putting down the availability times to call! Good luck!
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  25. Special Needs I'm a sn mom and a teacher. There is a student of mine who has an anxiety issue. The parents are not getting him help. It's sad. The mom just emailed and said dc is not coming...(more) 8-28-2014 2:18pm (8 replies)
    To my class anymore. It's an afterschool class. Last year hr
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    • that poor kid. how old? 8-28-2014 2:19pm
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      • 8 turning 9. 8-28-2014 2:21pm
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        • ack. big age to not do anything too 8-28-2014 2:21pm
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    • ^he missed half bc if he saw his mom he'd have an anxiety attack. Sad to watch a kid suffer. My own dcs anxiety was much worse then this before meds and that's all I ever told...(more) 8-28-2014 2:20pm
      the mom.
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    • that puts you in a tough spot. Unfortunately, there is only so much you can do. My heart goes out to the kid 8-28-2014 2:20pm
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      • Op: do I share my observation with the mom, that her dc had a great time and no issues coming on the days when I picked him up directly from school? He'd cry and 8-28-2014 2:38pm
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    • I'm sorry, it's very hard to see stuff this close to home and not be able to help. 8-28-2014 2:25pm
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