Special Needs

  1. Special Needs Do you think modern dance would be fun for a 7yo who has a ton of energy, not a lot of focus, but loves to move and dance? 1 hr 30 min ago (1 reply)
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    • try and see. I know many adhd kids who hyperfocus on a sport. 1 hr 5 min ago
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  2. Special Needs Does anyone have an older child with ODD and/or who throws destructive tantrums? my 11 yo just had a whopper. do you make them clean up and/or apologize to siblings or lose more...(more) 1 hr 43 min ago (0 replies)
    privileges? (like iphone). any other tips for handling? we are new to this, just starting with meds and counseling so nothing has really kicked in yet treatment-wise.
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  3. Special Needs I don't think ssris are working for ds anxiety anymore. He had a nice run on Zoloft. It stopped helping and we switched to Prozac but it's not helping. He also takes focalin xr....(more) 1 hr 46 min ago (1 reply)
    Anyone have a dc with anxiety and adhd. What is working for you? It's been an awful summer
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    • Dc takes Focalin xr as well. Also risperdal. 1 hr 43 min ago
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  4. Special Needs I hate how socially inept dc is 2 hr 41 min ago (5 replies)
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    • it is painful isn't it? 2 hr 40 min ago
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      • Yes. And I just don't ever seem to make any impact on him. I try to teach the most basic things but never gain any traction. Have been trying to find a social skills group but...(more) 2 hr 35 min ago
        suspect that will be equally unhelpful. He's just so rigid, and, well p, an asshole a lot of the time. Wish we would just get a spectrum dx so at least I can put a name to it other than "jerk."
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        • it is really hard to generalize things from a group to real life. just keep role playing, modeling and eventually even telling him flat out what to do. 2 hr 33 min ago
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          • Yes. I now tell him explicitly, you need to smile when you ask to play. You need to stand this far from someone. A level of specificity that makes me think we are dealing with...(more) 2 hr 30 min ago
            more than anxiety or ADHD.
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            • I like " the unwritten rules of friendship" (a book) for specific examples of what to do or not. 2 hr 30 min ago
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  5. Special Needs Need a good therapist/CBT ODD-mild ADD ds, teen yrs, male preferred, NYC or Bklyn. 4 hr 28 min ago (0 replies)
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  6. Special Needs Anyone else's DC getting anxious for the new school year? 4 hr 58 min ago (5 replies)
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    • Yes, I just posted on Toddler about my ds being very anxious about going into 3rd with pretty much no good friends in the class. He's so upset. He's a very anxious kid :( 4 hr 57 min ago
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      • Mine has anxiety too. He has no idea who will be in his class, unfamiliar with the teacher. I think all the unknowns are freaking him out. It'll be fine but the anxiety he's...(more) 4 hr 55 min ago
        feeling now is so heartbreaking.
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        • Omg, I know, it's so heartbreaking when they are like this. Mine just curled up in my lap and cried bc he's so stressed about it. He keeps saying "how many more days til school...(more) 4 hr 54 min ago
          starts?"
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          • aw. I hope both of our boys have good years!! 4 hr 42 min ago
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            • Me too. Good luck :o) 4 hr 7 min ago
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  7. Special Needs We are trying to toilet train my DC with significant SNs and someone asked my husband if we tried M&Ms yet. Ah useless, but well meaning advice... 6 hr 10 min ago (13 replies)
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    • People mean well. Good luck with everything. 6 hr 8 min ago
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    • :( People mean well. My ABA therapists did use M&Ms when training my dc, though. 6 hr 8 min ago
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      • ditto and altoids. 5 hr 27 min ago
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    • why are rewards useless for your dc? 6 hr 6 min ago
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    • GL. I think potty training was one of those things that really brought my feelings of sadness and frustration to the surface. 6 hr 5 min ago
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      • OP: oh yes totally and I know people mean well, so we just smile and nod so just venting here 5 hr 3 min ago
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        • And rewards do work , for many kids, SN or not 4 hr 40 min ago
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    • Keep trying, and IME when DC is ready, it will happen quickly. My DS was 4, but trained in a day when he was finally ready to do it. 4 hr 54 min ago
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      • OP: much older child w/very significant issues 4 hr 43 min ago
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        • Have you considered asking any of her therpists or teachers if they know of anyone who helps with training? I have had friends who went this route and it was a big help for them. 4 hr 41 min ago
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          • working with a BCBA therapist 4 hr 20 min ago
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            • np: you'll get there my bff started potty training at 14. It took time but she is potty trained. 4 hr 14 min ago
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  8. Special Needs SN parents with college kids or college bound kids: when your kid applied to colleges what was the oldest school name required to be filled on college undergrad applications? Do...(more) 6 hr 35 min ago (11 replies)
    colleges only ask for school names of high school or is middle school, elementary school info to be provided as well? If an SN kids mainstreams in middle school- can that elem school info be asked for? Does coming from SN elem or middle school but MS high school lead to discrimination at colleges?
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    • high school. but we didn't hide his LD so I would have been perfectly happy to mention his SN school 6 hr 34 min ago
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      • How did you discuss ds' LD without it being used against him? What college did ds go to? You must be so relieved! 6 hr 26 min ago
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        • Why do you think it would be used against your child. I don't get this 5 hr 41 min ago
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    • Your child's School records contain all the info going back to when they are 5. 6 hr 26 min ago
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      • Hmm....so how does reply 1 and reply 2 seem to think differently? Reply 1 says High school only? 6 hr 24 min ago
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        • Colleges don't get your entire school record - they get a high school transcript 5 hr 32 min ago
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          • true - I have 2 in college. 3 hr 39 min ago
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    • Hs but I am not sure why you think that is an issue. It only would make your child appealing to have overcome an issue and be ms. My dc is applying to colleges and we are going...(more) 6 hr 20 min ago
      to be very open about his ld. That is going to help him according to all the advice we have received
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      • np, I would never try to hide the LD, you don't want to be paying for a college where your child is unable to be successful. OP, how old is your child, can I ask? 6 hr 1 min ago
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        • This. And even so colleges understand so much about ld's now. Even some of the ivies offer money for kids with ld's and have supports. There is absolutely no reason not to...(more) 5 hr 42 min ago
          share even if you child needs no support whatsoever
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    • Colleges only see high school records unless your child is receiving HS credit for a class taken in 8th (such as language)...(more) 3 hr 41 min ago
      They have no access to the special ed file or any other school your child went to. Look at the Common Application and you will see exactly what is asked for.
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  9. Special Needs Just got middle school schedule and dd is in some inclusion and support classes. It's what we wanted but still there's that sinking feeling...you just feel bad that your kid has...(more) 6 hr 38 min ago (25 replies)
    to struggle while others just float along on a current of good grades and a solid group of friends. Plus our middle school divides students into two teams, and dd's is notorious for weaker teachers. we are doing everything we can to shore her up this year, wish us luck.
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    • Good luck I hope she has a great year. Don't assume her team will be weak. I never go by the word on the street. I have often disliked teachers others raved about 6 hr 31 min ago
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    • Speaking as an NT person who remembers middle school painfully clearly; I just wanted to put in that I am very dubious that anyone is floating along then! It's a pretty horrible...(more) 6 hr 11 min ago
      time for many kids. This is NOT to discount your concerns at all but just to point out that it is all too easy to assume that our kids are struggling while all the other kids are doing great...and for sure in middle and HS, a lot of of them are struggling in various ways.
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      • op: true, thanks for the reminder....same to poster below. 2 hr 48 min ago
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    • Most middle schoolers have something going on .. Sometimes it's the most popular kids who are cutter or experimenting in disturbing ways! 5 hr 31 min ago
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      • And in most cases the parents are clueless focusing instead on the popularity 5 hr 30 min ago
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    • my dyslexic/add kid went to a special school and now is an A student in college. I"m telling you this so you know that the intervention and support you give now matters. 2 hr 46 min ago
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      • TOTI mom, please never ever leave us!! 2 hr 45 min ago
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        • ; ) ok! ds made dean's list last semester. : ) 2 hr 44 min ago
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          • I hope you grew a third arm so you can give yourself the constant pats on the back you so deserve. You are my hero. I have been talking to you here since something like 2006 and...(more) 2 hr 43 min ago
            I'm so grateful for you.
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            • thank you so much. I appreciate it truly! I was FLAMED today for helping him fill out a form to take the GRE's with extra time. FLAMED I tell you. 2 hr 41 min ago
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              • Oh FFS was that you? I didn't see the thread on toddler but saw some of the aftermath threads from people talking about extra time on the SATs and whatnot. You cannot post that...(more) 2 hr 40 min ago
                shit on toddler! On a holiday morning that is even worse than Sunday morning which is the worst time of the whole week to post anything! So sorry for the crap they gave you.
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                • I know.. it wasn't a SN problem. It was more of an observation... the process for the LD kids is harder in all the ways things are hard for LD kids .. which is ironic. the toddler...(more) 2 hr 39 min ago
                  crazies didn't see the irony however.
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                  • ^^ it is odd how angry some are that kids like mine do well in spite of their deficits. Anyway, I hope I have been some help you over the years! 2 hr 38 min ago
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                    • You totally have. My dc does not have the same profile as yours but just seeing your evolution over the years , the posts that his guidance counselor was asking are you looking st...(more) 2 hr 35 min ago
                      any Ivies, after tag teaming with you to convince people to evaluate their kids back when we were all on UB...well, it's breathtaking when you think about it.
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                      • aw thanks. it was so hairy and confusing and scary for so long that I just want to shake people who delay getting help. Our outcome has been beyond my wildest dreams. 2 hr 34 min ago
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                        • Does he ever go back to address students at his old SN school? Or parents? I know I am always hungry for great examples like him. :) 2 hr 32 min ago
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                          • he has but often when schools are doing that type of event he's away. 2 hr 31 min ago
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                  • Did you see the poster with LDs who posted later about how her accommodations helped her work her way to a successful career? Even then some people were saying terrible things to...(more) 2 hr 37 min ago
                    her. But if those posters had a kid with LDs or LDs themselves you know their tune would change completely.
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                    • I missed that delightful exchange. people on the GRE thread were telling me my son will be a failure. which is amusing b/c it is already too late for that! he's doing great. : ) 2 hr 36 min ago
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      • op: thanks TOT mom and glad your son is doing great. 1 hr 53 min ago
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    • Good luck. In our district, you can call a meeting with the IEP meeting before the school year begins. Not to change anything in the IEP, just to make sure everyone on the team is...(more) 1 hr 19 min ago
      on the same page. It also lets the teachers know that you want to be involved and informed all year long. Maybe contact the principal or special ed teacher (if you know who s/he is yet) about arranging one soon. Just emphasize you just want an informal review of dd's goals and accommodations.
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      • op: we don't have an IEP yet--we are busy fighting the district for one. They are trying to give her everything under a 504 and are refusing even to do curriculum based testing...(more) 1 hr 10 min ago
        even after our private NP eval said it was warranted. So that is another source of stress. her teacher last year did not follow her 504 accommodations always and with the increased social and academic demands of middle school we feel her progress needs to be tracked more closely.
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        • Ugh. Well, with a 504, you should still be able to call a meeting. And let them know you want her monitored closely. It might feel obnoxious but sometimes you have to be that...(more) 1 hr 5 min ago
          obnoxious one
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          • op: thanks. we are supposed to meet right off the bat about the 504 and about the testing. I actually quit my job so I could be consistently up in the school's grill. It is going...(more) 1 hr 3 min ago
            to be a bumpy year I suspect.
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  10. Special Needs Repost (posted on toddler by mistake). Smartphone discussion--how do you handle with SN DC? 7 hr 16 min ago (9 replies)
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    • OP: I'll start. DS is 12 and doesn't have a phone. But he is at therapeutic boarding school--would not be able to use one there. It kind of puts off the conversation about it...(more) 7 hr 14 min ago
      for a while.
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    • Again, there are a lot of sn's represented here. My ds is dyslexic and he has one. He commutes to school 45 mins away and I like being able to track him with find my friend. Also...(more) 7 hr ago
      the Instagram and texting allows him to maintain contact with his old friends from mainstream and camp. We have had many Internet safety talks with him, and I've made him take down pictures he posts that I find inappropriate.
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      • How old is he? 7 hr ago
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        • 12 this week. He has had the phone for a year. 6 hr 58 min ago
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          • op: mine has dyslexia as well but about 8 other challenges. They did a workshop at his school on technology that gave us stuff to think about, but we haven't felt the NEED yet...(more) 6 hr 57 min ago
            for a phone.
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            • Mine has p,entry of other challenges...ADHD, angry, anxious, dysgraphia. But he is mainly dyslexic. How old is yours? I have an older child who got a phone at entertain g 5th...(more) 6 hr 51 min ago
              so that is the "rule" in our house.
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              • ^^i only noted the dyslexia ba I feel lie when ppl on this board say "sn DC" they don't mean dyslexic....and lately people seem to think there is only one kind of sn that allows...(more) 6 hr 50 min ago
                you to post here, so I wanted to point out what my answers were based on.
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                • Mine is dyslexic too, and language based LDs are the most common in society. I do not feel unwelcome here but I agree that sometimes I feel when people say SN it is assumed anyone...(more) 3 hr 35 min ago
                  reading knows which need it is, which is not true, As in when people ask what schools are good for SNs -depends on the need.
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              • Mine has a constellation that falls under two categories--Mood disorder (anxiety possibly depression). Then essentially PDD-NOS/ASD. Dyslexia, visual processing, ADD, etc etc 4 hr 36 min ago
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  11. Special Needs What are you doing today (New York)? 8 hr 7 min ago (10 replies)
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    • closing up the cabana 8 hr 6 min ago
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    • Day tripping to nj for surf lessons 7 hr 59 min ago
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    • going to a wake 7 hr 58 min ago
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    • op: Looks like we're ending up at either Chelsea water-playground or BPC playground. Did Bronx zoo yesterday. 7 hr 39 min ago
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    • Visiting mom in the hospital 5 hr 30 min ago
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      • Oh no, is she okay? 5 hr 22 min ago
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    • cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning 2 hr 37 min ago
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  12. Special Needs Help! My picky eater, 3, is struggling with extreme constipation....won't eat miralax - can sense a diff in texture when mixed with water - doesn't drink juice..loves the BRAT...(more) 17 hr 31 min ago (21 replies)
    diet..I have been pushing water all day and it has gotten marginally better...planning on getting flax seed powder tomorrow..any other creative ideas??TIA
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    • cant you give him miralax to drink>? 17 hr 30 min ago
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      • Sorry, should have been clearer, he won't take it in water..he stops drinking water when I mix it in as he can sense a change in texture.. 17 hr 29 min ago
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    • Does he eat Chinese food or beans? Those always do it for my dc. Or just a ton on plums and raspberries? 17 hr 30 min ago
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      • No Chinese food unfortunately but I love the idea of beans..maybe I will hide some in his diet... 17 hr 27 min ago
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        • I've been known to put beans mashed up in cookie recipes 17 hr 24 min ago
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    • Miralax can be mixed with other things yogurt, apple sauce . I have put it in soda as a last resort 17 hr 29 min ago
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      • Thank you that is a great idea.. 17 hr 28 min ago
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    • Can you mix miralax in applesauce? 17 hr 29 min ago
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      • Great idea, he does like apple sauce..I will try it tomorrow 17 hr 28 min ago
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        • Good luck. My ds went through the extreme constipation around that age. It was awful, and thankfully it's now a distant memory. He was on miralax for months. Good luck 17 hr 25 min ago
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          • ditto - my DS was on miralax for nearly a year 9 hr 12 min ago
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    • can you put the miralax in applesauce? 17 hr 28 min ago
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    • Prune juice 17 hr 27 min ago
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      • Won't touch it..sigh.. 17 hr 26 min ago
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    • Op:thank you for the great ideas..LOVE this group... 17 hr 24 min ago
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    • Suppository? 17 hr 23 min ago
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    • up the water as much as possible, and maybe in a popsicle that you make!? What a great invention. Mirapops 17 hr 19 min ago
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      • what does your child like to drink 16 hr 44 min ago
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    • you need a stool softener! dupholac syrup.. very sweet 16 hr 36 min ago
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    • Doe he eat any pudding or yogurt? Mix it in there. 9 hr 14 min ago
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      • ^^and if it's been many days since he's pooped...first use a liquid glycerin suppository - pediafleet - you squirt it up there, he will poop within minutes. Clean him all out and...(more) 9 hr 13 min ago
        THEN do the miralax protocol - give the miralax daily to avoid him getting stuffed up. BTDT for a year.
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  13. Special Needs Sincere question from a non-patent- when is an intense interest an obsession? good friend has a 6 YO son totally into NYC transit. Hasn't memorized schedules but talks about...(more) 18 hr 9 min ago (19 replies)
    different train lines and likes to pretend to be the conductor. He can talk about the trains and buses intelligently, but for long periods. Loves other things, too, and is totally appropriate in public, etc etc.
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    • When it interferes with daily life. 18 hr 3 min ago
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      • Thanks. Great answer. It does not seemt to - he is fine in school, gets along well with others. When he us home playing alone, that is what he chooses to do. 18 hr ago
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    • lots of Autistic kids love trains 18 hr 2 min ago
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      • And lots of kids like spongebob. An a interest in trains does not mean autism. 17 hr 56 min ago
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        • agree. my son spent hours and hours building things in his room when little. I couldn't believe he wasn't bored of those leggos, etc. But he is not on the spectrum - he is now in...(more) 14 hr 6 min ago
          middle school, totally social, etc.
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    • Does he notice that other people aren't as interested? And stop talking about it because he can see they're bored? And does he not go on and on about it in the first place if it's...(more) 17 hr 48 min ago
      not socially appropriate? These are the crucial differences between a typical (intense) interest and one that is a sign of un-NT behaviors.
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    • It's not your kid, not your place. 17 hr 42 min ago
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      • Not a helpful answer. I was asking because I love my friend and I love the child and want to be supportive of them. 7 hr 46 min ago
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        • I disagree. Lets say you do suspect something. Are you really going to tell your friend. I dont see how this is supportive. 5 hr 35 min ago
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          • Sounds like OP's friend ASKED her for support, see below. 5 hr 35 min ago
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            • they discussed her friends anxiety over her dc. Her job is to support her friend's concern not dx the dc. 5 hr 31 min ago
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              • don't think she is trying to diagnosis the child, it sounds like she is trying to see if her friend's concerns are valid and to get a better understanding 3 hr 50 min ago
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                • IMO its not her place. If the mom bell is ringing you say go see a dr. It's that simple. The post did not say, how do I best support a friend who has concerns. When it comes...(more) 3 hr 38 min ago
                  to parenting you MYOB. You can disagree with me.
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    • If its not your dc, why does it matter? All that matters is if your dc likes this dc? 17 hr 36 min ago
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      • OP: I don't have a DC. They were visiting for the weekend and she was anxious about his behavior so we discussed it. 7 hr 47 min ago
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        • no worries OP you asked nicely and it sounds like you are trying to be helpful to your friend, sorry people are not being very nice 6 hr 36 min ago
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        • or: And that is your role. To be a friend and listen. You were a great friend all you can do is suggest dc see a doctor is she is worried and be there. 5 hr 34 min ago
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    • Alone this is not a marker. IT is a marker when it's in combination with other things. 9 hr 12 min ago
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    • My 5yo is like this, he has asked a ton of questions about the differences of the "local" vs. express and loves to ride the subway and bus. He understands the difference between...(more) 6 hr 23 min ago
      LIRR, Metro North, looks at the maps. However, he rarely would bring this topic into discussion w/friends, he finds common things to talk about with them and does not use it to direct a one sided conversation, NT dc.
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  14. Special Needs How tolerant of behaviors is gaynor? 19 hr 33 min ago (26 replies)
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    • Given that most SN kids who have "behaviors" have them because they are not in a suitable setting/getting the right services, so they are frustrated and unhappy, I've always...(more) 19 hr 28 min ago
      thought this was a dumb criterion. For most "behavior" kids, the right setting and services will stem the behaviors, so excluding them from the right settings because of the behaviors is a vicious circle.
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      • I don't agree with this at all, but sorry, OP, I don't know your answer. 19 hr 23 min ago
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      • My kid is on the spectrum. If I tried to place my dc at Gaynor where the social issues weren't addressed at all my dc would for sure be too behavioral for Gaynor. (Of course dc...(more) 19 hr 21 min ago
        would not get in for the same reasons.)
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      • you've missed the point then. 19 hr 5 min ago
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      • it's supply and demand and with the advent of meds, there seems to be a new normal for expectations. i don't like it either. 18 hr 28 min ago
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      • np: ITD! Many of the SN schools take kids who ARE appropriate for their programs. But children go through phases or difficult patches & unfortunately many of the schools are...(more) 9 hr 10 min ago
        intolerant and fail to support them during those times.
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    • Not very based on friends there, but it depends on whether behaviors are ones their program can address easily or whether it goes beyond that. 19 hr 23 min ago
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    • op-ok let me rephrase that. Who does Gaynor serve? 19 hr 18 min ago
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      • learning issues-dyslexia, auditory processing 19 hr 17 min ago
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      • Language-based LDs 19 hr 16 min ago
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        • np: and ADHD. Lots of kids there with ADHD. Some medicated, some not. 7 hr 18 min ago
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    • it is an LD school. so they aren't going to want to deal with a kid who really needs a therapeutic environment. 19 hr 13 min ago
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      • This is key 19 hr 12 min ago
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      • The new ECC serves a broader range though. 19 hr 7 min ago
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        • I'm not familiar so that's very possible! 19 hr 6 min ago
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        • It looks that way, but in pre-literate kids, everything looks behavioral. They are able to tell what are emotional behaviors vs. frustration from LD. From a Gaynor ECC mom. 18 hr 12 min ago
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          • I don't think they truly know at age 3-4 if there are straight forward LD's though. 6 hr 41 min ago
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        • Some of rge EXX kids mai not be in the right setting as they gety older. Several ECC kids have left and some for MS and others for more support. 17 hr 22 min ago
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        • np: true and I bet many will not be welcomed come elementary 9 hr 9 min ago
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    • Not at all. 18 hr 39 min ago
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      • I have a child at Gaynor and there have been a few children with regulation issues but I think it is less tolerated as kids mature....(more) 17 hr 25 min ago
        It is a very supportive school for LD and mild anxiety and ADHD but no social skills class so that is a strong indicator.
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      • Actually it is very difficult to figure out ar a 3's interview for the 4s what is going on-- 17 hr 19 min ago
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    • Not much according to my friends who are there. I know several who have been kicked out. ADHD. 9 hr 11 min ago
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      • correct, it is for students who have language based ld and it tolerates mild adhd, anxiety, etc. 6 hr 22 min ago
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        • Churchill had a 4s program but eliminated it because they really could not accurately...(more) 5 hr 6 min ago
          Figure out what challenges kids had and kids did not automatically go into school. I think Gaynor. Ecc is very new and will undergo many changes. It remains a ld school tolerating other minor challenges.
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  15. Special Needs How evil is it for me to tell dh, who is in the toy business, to please just bring home a toy or book for dc once a week? As opposed to three or four times? We donate tons of...(more) 21 hr 32 min ago (4 replies)
    stuff, but this just feels excessive, like they don't have time to enjoy or look forward to a cool thing because another one comes the next day. This is one of those 'great problems' to have, I realize that, but it's getting out of control
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    • just put it away for another time 21 hr 31 min ago
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    • just tell him. why is this evil? 21 hr 31 min ago
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    • This is my mil - tons of shit and I donate 90% of it and ds never sees it. Won't buy one stuffed animal, buys him 4 at a time. It's too much 21 hr 17 min ago
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    • I may be alone on this, but I'd let him do it and then just manage the toys, you don't have to keep everything :) 20 hr 50 min ago
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  16. Special Needs Oh jeesh, watching a friend of dd's cringe as dd eats. We really work on manners with her, but she eats with her mouth open, uses her fingers, wipes her hands on her shirt,...(more) 21 hr 41 min ago (14 replies)
    doesn't wipe food from her face. I think we just need to keep reminding, modeling, talking to her about it. It's literally like she forgets the moment after we correct her. I'm worried kids are going to start making fun of her.
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    • age? 21 hr 41 min ago
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      • op - 7. I feel awful because we should have done more, but things have been so casual this summer I realize we let things slide 21 hr 40 min ago
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    • They will. It sucks& I'm sorry, but they will 21 hr 40 min ago
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      • op - Is it awful to say, "Let's work on this, so that your friends see how great you are, and what you're eating?" Or something like that? 21 hr 38 min ago
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        • How old is she? 21 hr 38 min ago
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          • op - 7 21 hr 38 min ago
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            • seems like a good thing to reward. 21 hr 36 min ago
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              • op - DUH! That's a great idea. Thanks! 21 hr 35 min ago
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                • lol. sometimes you just need to go simple. she'll be ok. All kids go back to school a little crazy! :) 21 hr 34 min ago
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        • np: if she's 7, I think it's ok to tell her straight out that she has to start improving her manners at the table, that she needs to use a fork, napkin etc. This is an issue for...(more) 21 hr 32 min ago
          lots of kids...
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    • What's her SN? 21 hr 40 min ago
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      • op - She is starting OT for sensory issues this fall. 21 hr 40 min ago
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        • My ds has sensory issues too and he eats the same way! What is the deal? 21 hr 8 min ago
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          • np: my dd too. They don't feel their faces well or something 18 hr 4 min ago
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  17. Special Needs Is the mom on that tried to get Aetna coverage the second time around for NP and was turned down (after being covered)? I was in the same boat and just submitted, I wanted to...(more) 22 hr 43 min ago (0 replies)
    share code w/you if you are still disputing or re-submitting. I know it depends on individual policy but I was given the same information saying they could not cover again unless it was due to stroke etc. and got my check for 70% today.
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  18. Special Needs Difference between Mary McDowell and Winston Prep in upper grades - anyone know? We are looking at these 2 schools for HS for LD daughter. Is there much difference in the...(more) 23 hr 11 min ago (13 replies)
    academics and the types of kids they take? Hard to tell.
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    • My dc got into both for hs and it was a really difficult decision choosing. As far as I could tell for hs their populations were pretty similar. My dc would have done really well...(more) 19 hr 8 min ago
      At either school. He has ADHD and ld. We ended up at Winston.
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      • Do you think there is much difference in the academics or the types of kids that would do well in one school vs. the other? 14 hr 1 min ago
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        • The main difference to me was the focus teacher at Winston. It's like having a tutor every single day and that has been key for my dc. I did not realize before we started how...(more) 8 hr 31 min ago
          great that would be. My dc is going into his junior year now and at Mary McDowell there would have only been one grade ahead of him when we started. It just seemed a little socially limiting for my dc. He needed a larger social circle. It may be different at MMD now as they have added grades, but when we applied I felt like it was a little more protected so maybe a kid that needed a smaller school may have done better there. Again I don't know how much it has grown since we applied so it may be different. I
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          • np that's an interesting perspective and it depends where your kid is I supppose. we mainstreamed our ds after windward (for HS) and decided to give our large public a try for...(more) 8 hr 24 min ago
            social reasons like you state.
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            • How has it worked out for you 8 hr 17 min ago
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              • it worked really well. He' s in college now. Our feeling at the time was if he cold make it there he could go to any college. but if he stayed in a more protected small HS we'd...(more) 8 hr 17 min ago
                never know what his limits were.
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                • That's great. Where does he go 8 hr 16 min ago
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                  • I'd rather not say, but it is a highly competitive school and I'm not sure he would have been ready if he hadn't stepped up to a less supportive environment in HS> of course, he...(more) 8 hr 11 min ago
                    had to be ready for that too.
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                    • Good for him! Unfortunately mine came from 6 years in public w/o enough help and definitely still needs remediation. Windward is a wonderful school - wish we had known more about...(more) 3 hr 50 min ago
                      dyslexia sooner and gone that route.
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            • NYC public HS? 8 hr 13 min ago
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    • not much difference from what I can tell. there aren't a lot of LD high schools so you are lucky to have a choice! 8 hr 24 min ago
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      • since language based disabilities are the most common LDs, and there are so few high schools, I wonder what happens to all the kids who cannot afford or get into the few there are...(more) 3 hr 59 min ago
        in the area. Not many public schools we've seen support LD kids -just throw them in 12:1:1 with kids with every possible disability w/o differentiated instruction. Doubt many will pass the common core to graduate high school.
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  19. Special Needs Anything you've tried that helped your picky eater branch out? My 6yo has SPD which I swear affects his sense of smell/taste. They are overactive and he is afraid of new...(more) 8-31-2014 3:26pm (7 replies)
    experiences, so only sticks with about 10-12 foods in his repertoire. (They are fairly healthy, which is why I haven't pushed it too much.) Today he asked me from upstairs if I was cooking oatmeal. (I was.) Honestly, who can smell bland, unsweetened oatmeal from a floor away? Anyway, I currently have him smell, lick, and take one bite of new foods when presented, but he still gags and spits out anything new. Any suggestions?
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    • I would just let it be. I say this as an adult who is a picky eater. I have big issues with the texture of food and I just do not think it is something that can be changed. 8-31-2014 3:39pm
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      • my ds is 12. he adds 1-2 new foods every year. this year it was strawberries and baked potatoes 8-31-2014 4:53pm
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    • yours sounds similar to my 8yo ds. i let a lot go because he has real issues. it isnt just garden variety picky. he loses it if i give dd yogurt. i just tell him he can wait in...(more) 8-31-2014 3:45pm
      another room until she is done. i dont give him any foods with everything all mixed up or lots of sauce, but i do require him to taste what we are eating if he wants an alternative. if he would prefer to skip a meal than taste it, i say no more
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      • omg, yes, mine goes nuts if someone is eating a yogurt at the same table! he hates the smell. do you make him a separate meal, or require him to eat from what's served? 8-31-2014 4:04pm
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        • in case you stickied this, i dont make a separate meal. i will leave pasta plain if i am mixing it with something etc. he can make himself a sandwich or have fruit if he tries...(more) 21 hr 6 min ago
          something and doesnt like it. but if he refuses to try, he has to wait until the next meal. if i make something that is on his short list of things he will never eat, then yes, sometimes i will make him something different
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    • I'm an adult with SPD. I'm still slowly adding tolerance of new foods every year. Just encourage them to try things often, and remind that it takes a while to acquire the taste...(more) 23 hr 13 min ago
      for something, sometimes as many as 10 separate tries before it tastes like food.
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    • Just keep trying. My DS finally got better around 9. Still particular but eats so many more foods than in the younger years. But I suspect he'll always be picky 9 hr 8 min ago
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  20. Special Needs This post has been disliked 3 times. showI don' want to vaccinate new baby. How do we protect against wooing cough/meningites? 8-31-2014 2:08pm (29 replies)
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    • why don't you want to vaccinate? honestly the only way to protect would be for no one to visit unless THEY are vaccinated 8-31-2014 2:09pm
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      • One child on spectrum and too much controversy over vaccinations 8-31-2014 2:10pm
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        • there is no real controversy among educated, sane people 8-31-2014 2:11pm
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          • this is true. there is no controversy in science about this. 8-31-2014 2:11pm
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    • vaccines 8-31-2014 2:09pm
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    • there is a great way to protect your child against these things - the vaccine! 8-31-2014 2:10pm
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    • are you doing some Darwin challenge? 8-31-2014 2:10pm
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    • they have a shot that prevents that. 8-31-2014 2:10pm
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    • there is more of a chance of deadly disease than autism 8-31-2014 2:11pm
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      • there is 0% of autism being caused by the vaccine. 0. 8-31-2014 2:13pm
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        • Link? 8-31-2014 2:13pm
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          • google it yourself. I need to find a cole slaw recipe :-0 8-31-2014 2:14pm
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            • I LOVE this reply! 19 hr 48 min ago
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    • Jenny McCarthy should be shot. 8-31-2014 2:13pm
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      • she isn't the one that started the anti-vax stuff 8-31-2014 2:18pm
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        • No but she made it as high profile as she possibly could be by bringing it up on Oprah. 8-31-2014 4:44pm
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    • Vaccines. 8-31-2014 2:15pm
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    • Please vaccinate your child 8-31-2014 2:17pm
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    • To prevent wooing cough, don't let him or her date anyone who has a cold. For goodness sake, lady, vaccinate your kids 8-31-2014 3:18pm
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    • vaccinate. please don't be part of this stupid problem. 8-31-2014 4:38pm
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    • Please vaccinate. Do you mean delay vaccinations for your newborn? Or not vaccinate ever? 8-31-2014 4:46pm
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      • What sounds like a good idea at birth, sounds like a mistake if there are breakouts. 22 hr 59 min ago
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        • It's just more understandable than not vaccinating at all. There are some of the early vaccines that don't need to be given so early like RV and Hep B. 21 hr 58 min ago
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          • I think not vaccinating is dangerous--the entire autuism vaccine spin has proven false. My pediatician told me about a mom who called in panic wghen her unvaccinated children were...(more) 20 hr 35 min ago
            exposed to one of the three big ones. I think your decision is bad for your child and bad for public health.
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            • OP==why did you post on SN? hmmm 20 hr 33 min ago
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            • It doesn't have to be about Autism. A newborn baby doesn't need a Hep B jab at birth. It's not having sex or using IV drugs. All my kids are fully vaccinated SN and NT but...(more) 18 hr 55 min ago
              one was hospitalized after a bad reaction. It happens, it's not just about Autism.
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              • Yes it does happen and its rare. Parents should make informed, educated decisions. Not vaccinating as op mentions is not that. You said your kids vaccines, your pro vaccines....(more) 18 hr 42 min ago
                Education is the key.
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    • I hate that this poster came on here to ask this question, like we are all brain dead assholes who don't vaccinate our kids. 18 hr 2 min ago
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      • I kind of love the response she got, though. 17 hr 50 min ago
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  21. Special Needs Ds is currently on a 504 plan for his adhd / exec. functioning dx. he's struggling; should i pursue an IEP? 8-31-2014 1:15pm (2 replies)
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    • If he's struggling then yes, he needs more support and an IEP is a good next step. 8-31-2014 1:34pm
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    • Yes. He probably needs more than just some accomodations to be successful, and the IEP will get him just that. 9 hr 6 min ago
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  22. Special Needs Strongly suspect my dd of having ADHD. Can anyone recommend a psychologist in Manhattan where I can go for an evaluation? Thanks. 8-31-2014 1:08pm (16 replies)
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    • you need a neuro-psych 8-31-2014 1:09pm
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    • What signs does she show, btw? Wondering same about my dd. Have heard that signs in girls are different than those seen in boys. 8-31-2014 1:09pm
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      • NP. For me it was high iq and failing/almost failing grades. 8-31-2014 1:12pm
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        • nnp: that can also be LDs. Many people with adhd get good grades, especially in the early years when high IQ kids can skate by. 15 hr 27 min ago
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      • while some girls are hyperactive, any others have what used to be called inattentive adhd...(more) 15 hr 25 min ago
        I have it as does my daughter (it has a genetic component so not unusual to have it run in families). Difficulty focusing on tasks (especially boring ones), difficulty organizing, other executive function issues. Easily distracted.
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    • You do not need a neuro-psych. You need a child psychiatrist or ped neurologist. Your regular ped can recommend one. ADHD is very, very common. Neuro-psychs are very expensive and...(more) 23 hr 19 min ago
      cannot legally treat adhd anyway. I live in burbs and zero people I know go to neuro-psychs to get an ADHD diagnosis.
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    • We decided on a neuropsych because I wanted to compare the NP report we had 3 years ago and also make sure that the attention issues weren't an LD that we were missing. A re-eval...(more) 23 hr 6 min ago
      was cheaper than the original NP and glad we went this route.
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      • neuropsych eval was the only thing that ever held weight for us in terms of getting supports in school. it was still a bumpy ride but being backed by neuropsych was tremendously...(more) 23 hr ago
        helpful.
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        • You have to go to an M.D. such as child psychiatrist to get treatment. If you still want to go to NP that is fine, but for simple adhd the M.D. can get treatment going rift away...(more) 22 hr 51 min ago
          whereas it takes months to get an NP report. The meds heeled DD focus and we did not need NP report for the school to give her preferential seating, etc. No behavioral problems -inattentive.
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        • OR: that's what I figure, I would like to have a document in hand w/services etc. I can go to an MD separately if we go that route but I wouldn't have been comfortable just going...(more) 22 hr 47 min ago
          to MD to diagnose, in case something else was going on.
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          • we used david salsberg and i thanks my lucky starts we found him and got the supports in place early. 22 hr 37 min ago
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            • Salsberg here as well. 22 hr 24 min ago
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        • It must vary by school district. Our school only would take adhd diagnosis from M.D. 15 hr 24 min ago
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          • ^also w/16% of boys in the US diagnosed with it, they are not all paying $5000 to a neuro-psych. 15 hr 23 min ago
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    • Dr George Sachs of the Sachs center in manhattan...(more) 23 hr 4 min ago
      He evaluated my son and his report helped tremendously with my son'so school and his I IEP classification. Got him the right services.
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      • Interesting. Dh and I though he was terrible. I also know other parent who have not liked him. 20 hr 9 min ago
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  23. Special Needs Countown: Four more days. 8-31-2014 12:17pm (2 replies)
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    • the extra 2 days are going to kill me 8-31-2014 12:23pm
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    • We start 9/8 NPS. 8-31-2014 12:43pm
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  24. Special Needs There has got to be some silver lining for my kids. Too often I feel like they are suffering. Both are adopted with FAS but very different presentations. Life is hard for them...(more) 8-31-2014 11:43am (5 replies)
    always will be and our bio son is flourishing and has gotten better because of his siblings. My younger kids we just cross our fingers that neither of them need a trip to the ER. I keep second guessing were we right with taking them on. Could someone have been better for them the youngest I had serious reservation but dh convinced me because of the help and progress our other did. He is a better child he just fights with his syndrome all the time and it's tiring.
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    • What are their specific challenges and delays with FAS? 8-31-2014 11:44am
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      • My oldest has low iq and learning disabilities. He He has severe adhd he has tourettes and behavior issues. though not always part of fas he has psychiatric issues, sleep...(more) 8-31-2014 11:49am
        disturbance but he is characteristically smaller for his age. . Youngest is small, behavior issues delayed speech, cardiac issues, and tiny. And both have the similar features.
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        • As you certainly know there are a lot of resources online for FAS as well as doctors to help you. How long have they been with you? Attachment and feeling secure should help...(more) 23 hr 22 min ago
          w/some of the behavior problems, as well as meds. Whether or not you did the right thing by taking them on is kind of beside the point now, right?
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          • Yes, we see all the right people. Attachment is sure I guess it's something you have to live. I realize they can't be cured of their issues going through a rough patch. 3 hr 43 min ago
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            • So sorry. Be good to yourself. 3 hr 40 min ago
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  25. Special Needs Fuck it I am buying another Playstation this week so that ds doesn't have these constant fights with his sibs that turn into meltdowns, psych said it was fine for him to play and...(more) 8-31-2014 11:43am (15 replies)
    i don't know why I've been putting it off. Is it crazy that psych said anything to keep him from having idle time? Age appropriate obviously.
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    • Have you tried schedule times instead of buying another? 8-31-2014 11:44am
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      • We don't have much time at home so this hasn't worked very well and honeslty ds is unable to work with this type of thing yet. He is starting meds later this month but I am dying...(more) 8-31-2014 11:47am
        in the mean time and he is miserable.
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        • Maybe he should wait until meds to learn how to share and he just occupies his time differently. 8-31-2014 11:50am
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        • np - it seems like a bad lesson for him 8-31-2014 11:50am
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          • "Lessons" don't actually take with him but I hear what you're saying. 8-31-2014 11:52am
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            • The only issue is that now it's a playstation. What about the next rime that ds can't share? Think you need to be careful of slippery slope/setting precedent. 23 hr 35 min ago
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    • You need to create a turn taking schedule and enforce 8-31-2014 11:45am
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      • I wish from the bottom of my heart that this worked for my family but it results in breaking things and vomiting where we are now, maybe once he starts meds this will change, that...(more) 8-31-2014 11:49am
        The hope.
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    • Why can't his siblings share? 8-31-2014 11:46am
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      • They do, they always have to give in to him. We aren't home a lot so when we are and they don't have homework they typically want to do video games and sibs never get to. 8-31-2014 11:48am
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        • Ah, gotcha. In that case go for it! You need a break too! 8-31-2014 11:49am
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          • I do, I really need the fighting to stop and I was letting the idea of "it's crzy to have two game systems" make my life harder than it needs to be right now. Not sure why we make...(more) 8-31-2014 11:51am
            Things harder on ourselves like this.
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            • I think because when you have kids with sn you are so overly paranoid of making the wrong decisions and you get used to things just being harder. 8-31-2014 11:52am
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              • It's so true 8-31-2014 11:57am
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    • No one of us can make decisions on what "they" say. You throw the parenting book out the window with a SN kid (in truth with ANY kid) and do what's best for the kid, the mom, and...(more) 8-31-2014 3:20pm
      the family. Good luck....
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