Special Needs

  1. Special Needs You know what bums me out? Seeing my NT DC run out the door so excited for camp. My SN DC is OK about it but doesn't love it. I can't seem to find a place he LOVES 53 min ago (8 replies)
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    • what kind of SN? 51 min ago
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      • expressive language disorder and some anxiety. 43 min ago
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        • poster below....my son also has this. he is in his 3rd year at MS sleepaway with his sisters. He also doesn't love it and it bugs me, but I think it's just him, not a function...(more) 40 min ago
          of the SN. We're trying something else next year, I think.
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    • i know your feelings have to do with the SN but I will tell you that over the years all three of my kids (including the SN one) have run out the door or acted less OK about...(more) 42 min ago
      it...it's just the nature of kids, no matter how annoying it is for us to think they don't "love" it.
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      • I guess I wish he had something he loved. He likes a bunch of things, but no real love of anything. 25 min ago
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        • Np: fwiw my nt dc is like this. He does not love anything. My sn dc has intense interests. It's hard when there is little to motivate . 8 min ago
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          • it also makes it hard to know if we should return to this program next year. He is not complaining, but it's hard not to wonder if perhaps something else would be better for him....(more) 6 min ago
            Not that something else exists that would.
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    • I get it but also keep in mind that many NT kids don't love camp as well. 41 min ago
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  2. Special Needs I'd like to consider medication for my anxiety, but I also struggle with depression. I don't want anything that may worsen my depression, as I am able to deal with it now though...(more) 8 hr 58 min ago (4 replies)
    'talk therapy' and other things that help. Anyone know of an anti-anxiety drug that doesn't have depressive side effects?
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    • Short term Xanax etc work for me 8 hr 54 min ago
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    • Wellbutrin 8 hr 54 min ago
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    • have been on effexor for anxiety for years and it is the best thing i ever did. i went off it during pregnancies, but back on and think i'm on it for life. i feel like a good...(more) 8 hr 52 min ago
      version of myself.
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    • The most effective meds for anxiety are usually antidepressants, so will actually help yPu with both, not make it worse 7 min ago
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  3. Special Needs Does anyone know if it's possible to transfer a child from one ASD Nest school to another? Need to leave downtown apt asap and my son is currently in the program at PS 19- would...(more) 9 hr 40 min ago (0 replies)
    want to transfer him to the Upper West Side location at PS 75..
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  4. Special Needs 7yo dd and I made up our own exercise for low-tone today. She lay on her back, feet up, and I tossed a giant supermarket ball to her, and she kicked it back to me. Not sure how mu...(more) 9 hr 43 min ago (0 replies)
    much it will do, but she LOVED it and made the other assigned exercises easier to do.
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  5. Special Needs So I cut out coffee, I'm exercising, and my anxiety has waned a bit. Next I'm cutting down on screen time, otherwise known as YBM time 9 hr 57 min ago (0 replies)
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  6. Special Needs Suggestions for book or website that gives tips on introducing new foods to picky eaters? 10 hr 11 min ago (1 reply)
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    • How old a kid are we talking about, here? In general, you have to present things and encourage them to at least taste them multiple times before their palates will adjust to...(more) 1 hr 44 min ago
      decide that it tastes good. For older kids, sometimes it can be motivating to tell them that they can't travel and have adventures if they only eat XYZ, because those things aren't available all over the world. Can also invite to taste the "grownup meal", give it that cool adult cachet. This is a slow process--if you try to force it fast, you just wind up with a dinner table as battleground. GL. I have SPD myself, and I was a ROYAL pain with restricted eating as a kid. I still work on training myself to tolerate additional foods all the time.
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  7. Special Needs Left dc at sleepaway for first time, age 12. When we were driving off I saw him walking alone, completely separate from the rest of the other kids, who were congregating playing...(more) 11 hr 17 min ago (14 replies)
    in a different part while he went off by himself toward the road. Dh says its fine, they were having unstructured time but once activities got going he'd be ok. Counselor seems great but boys in his bunk are mostly a few years older, he's in the older group for some reason. I held it together with him but literally sobbed when I saw him alone, just terrified for him, pray he has a good time, thanks for listening.
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    • MS camp btw. 11 hr 17 min ago
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      • Why would he be in a bunk of kids a few years olde? 11 hr 7 min ago
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    • terrified I think is unwarranted....but please explain why he is with boys "a few" years older. 11 hr 17 min ago
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      • wait, sorry, I didn't see this was SN...I still don't think you need to be terrified, but is the age discrepancy because of lack of other kids his age? 11 hr 16 min ago
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        • ^6wait again....MS camp so now this totally makes no sense. please explain why he is with kids "a few" years older. That doesn't make sense. Signed, three kids at camp where...(more) 11 hr 15 min ago
          this would never happen.
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    • This post has been disliked 7 times. showSTOP SENDING YOUR CHILDREN AWAY PEOPLE!! JUST STOP AND BE A MOTHER ALREADY! 11 hr 14 min ago
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      • oh, honey. you need to deslect special needs this minute if we make you so upset. 11 hr 14 min ago
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        • This post has been disliked 3 times. showI would NEVER send my sn dss away. NO ONE can care for them like the mother. please 11 hr 12 min ago
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          • np: Oh for heavens sake. Going to sleepaway camp has literally been the best experience of my SN dc's entire life and I have to hear dc talk all year long about why can't camp...(more) 10 hr 45 min ago
            start NOW? Why can't camp be all year round? Etc.
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          • Ok. Have a nice day. 10 hr 10 min ago
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          • do you send your kids to school??? 10 hr ago
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    • I would be pissed if I had spent a shit ton of money for a MS camp for my SN kid and they put him with older kids....wouldn't they realize that he would be better off with kids...(more) 11 hr 13 min ago
      his own age (or even a year younger)....red flag to me...
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    • That moment alone tells you nothing, and it's really great for kids to learn how to find happiness. He just may have needed more time--doesn't mean he's a failure. But I don't...(more) 10 hr 42 min ago
      like the idea of 12 yo in a 15yo cabin.
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    • Can you talk to the camp directors about their thinking? Why they put him with such older boys? That may reassure you - I would want to know why they did this. 10 hr 40 min ago
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  8. Special Needs I am overwhelmed with the amount of research I should do about my kids' SNs, and about the changes I should make to the way we do things at home. The whole thing about this being...(more) 11 hr 25 min ago (3 replies)
    a second job is no joke.
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    • Yes indeed. Which is why i get angry when dh wants to go here his friend's band when we have an iep meeting in 2 days....it is an overwhelming amount of work, dealing with the...(more) 11 hr 23 min ago
      therapy and the red tape surrounding sns
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      • op - Yep, and it's usually the moms who deal with it, at least it seems that way to me. Did you have the iep meeting already? If not, good luck 11 hr 16 min ago
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    • It gets easier once you're past the orientation and startup phase. We have appropriate IEP's and services going now, have our household routines down, and it's a piece of cake...(more) 1 hr 42 min ago
      compared to the first diagnosis/figuring out what to do era.
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  9. Special Needs Oh! Did the mom who went to follow her kids while they were with separated-dh ever post back? I think she was worried he was going to try and take them with mil 11 hr 41 min ago (0 replies)
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  10. Special Needs Will getting organized myself help my "possibly" ADD kid? Meaning, if I become one of those 'a place for everything and everything in its place' people, will it help? I am so diso...(more) 11 hr 44 min ago (4 replies)
    disorganized, and I hate it, and now I wonder if it's affecting my kid.
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    • Yes . I'm working in this right now too 11 hr 43 min ago
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      • op - do you have guilt about it? I mean, I know guilt won't change anything, but I realize that even though we have a loving home, it can be chaotic as far as being messy and...(more) 11 hr 42 min ago
        things always being in a different place.
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        • I'm not a guilt type 11 hr 40 min ago
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    • Actually, I think if you model skills, it will help. I'm saying this as someone like you, who has someone like your kid! 11 hr 40 min ago
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  11. Special Needs I wish that our Y camp didn't do so many team sports. For a non-sports camp it really seems like they still do a lot of it, and DS just does not like team sports. Loves the rest...(more) 14 hr 16 min ago (8 replies)
    of the camp activities though. Anyone BTDT?
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    • what sports do they do 14 hr 15 min ago
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      • soccer (which he likes but isn't that good at), baseball, basketball, kickball 14 hr 14 min ago
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    • Which Y camp? Our area had one like that, but another that gives them a choice of activity every period. They don't have to choose team sports, they can pick stuff like crafts,...(more) 13 hr 53 min ago
      science, cooking, or individual sports like swim or zumba. Even activities like chess.
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      • Which one has so many electives? That sounds great! 13 hr 33 min ago
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        • Central Queens Y Explorer Day Camp. 13 hr 23 min ago
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    • Yes. Try something different, that's not so based in sports/games. 13 hr 42 min ago
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      • Just hard to find that plus a camp that is inclusive and supportive too 13 hr 32 min ago
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        • Try something outdoorsy. Nature based. 13 hr 19 min ago
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  12. Special Needs We visited an out of state relative this month, and she said that there is a new law in her state that any kid certified as having a disability by the school automatically gets...(more) 14 hr 34 min ago (22 replies)
    Medicaid as secondary health insurer, they suddenly have no copays and are getting even braces free, with no dx beyond ADHD. Any truth to this, and is this possible in NY with high functioning ASD?
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    • If you have a diagnosis you can apply for Medicare. Your ped just needs to attest to disability. We have Medicare as secondary. It's not income dependent. It's disability...(more) 14 hr 32 min ago
      deiendent
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      • Medicare, or Medicaid? And I thought you had to have pretty severe disability (like unlikely to live independently as an adult) to qualify for Medicaid. 14 hr 29 min ago
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        • I always get them confused. You just have to have a designation of disability in PA. We've has it since ds was born. 14 hr 15 min ago
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          • there's more to it than that, isn't there? 14 hr 13 min ago
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            • No! I'm not sure what the standard is but once you cross designation threshold, you are covered. We have to uodate annually but the initial step is the hardest. I have a5 yo ex...(more) 14 hr 11 min ago
              micropreemie with asd, tube fed, some O 2
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              • Ah, but your DC has some medical needs as well. I just can't imagine a simple ADHD diagnosis on its own gets you government care. I think OP's relative isn't being entirely...(more) 14 hr 9 min ago
                truthful with her.
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                • I'm just saying-it is true in PA-I'm not sure what the threshold is. You need a designation if disability. My kid is in a mainstream private 14 hr 8 min ago
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                  • Why are you on Medicare if your DC is doing fine? 14 hr 5 min ago
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                    • why wouldn 't she be if it was available to her? her child has a diagnosis and qualifies. 11 hr 14 min ago
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                      • np: I still find it hard to believe you qualify with merely any diagnosis. the floodgates would open in that case. 5 min ago
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        • Medicaid is not for the disabled..Medicaid if for the poor. Medicare is for the disabled 12 hr 53 min ago
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      • Is having an LD considered a disability for medicaid or physical disabilities only? Or maybe cognitive issues where the child is unlikely to become independent? 13 hr 45 min ago
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    • Automatic, NYC? Not that I know of. We only got Medicaid through a waiver program with an agency. And it took a while. 14 hr 32 min ago
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    • Did they move to VT? 14 hr 30 min ago
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      • Pennsylvania. 14 hr 29 min ago
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    • I seriously doubt there is truth to this. 14 hr 15 min ago
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    • I find it VERY hard to believe that they have Medicaid with just ADHD as a diagnosis. Don't believe everything she is telling you, please. And since when does Medicaid cover...(more) 14 hr 14 min ago
      orthodontics??
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      • Np-when you have it as secondary it is secondary for all treatments, scripts 14 hr 13 min ago
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        • right, but there's no way she pays NOTHING for orthodontics under Medicaid. 14 hr 13 min ago
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        • np: I work in a dr.'s office and it still does not necessarily pay for every treatment or script, there are still certain guidelines as to how much, how many years have to go by...(more) 14 hr 11 min ago
          in between exams or treatment sessions. It's not a free pass.
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          • We are talking about secondary here. I have it for my SN kid and we have not paid a dime since he was born. Anything not covered by our primary is picked up. If there is a ten...(more) 14 hr 9 min ago
            dollar copayment Medicaid covers
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            • Wow, totally NOT the case in NY that I know of. We just paid 4 figures for dental work for ds with ASD. 13 hr 55 min ago
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  13. Special Needs Someone suggested I post here - can you tell me what your ADD kid was like before treatment? 15 hr 31 min ago (3 replies)
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    • The best way I can explain it is that she was a step behind everyone else, literally and figuratively. She couldn't copy a sentence off the board (1st grade) unless a teacher sat...(more) 15 hr 29 min ago
      next to her saying, "A. Space. G. I. R. L. Space....."
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      • My middle schooler became that way. Could not follow multistep instructions. Not at home, not at school. But with support and planning, she can do very well in school. It just...(more) 15 hr 26 min ago
        really does take her much, much longer to get something done. Meds help so much, it's night and day
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  14. Special Needs Did germany just score? everyone is screaming outside. or was there a big save? 15 hr 32 min ago (1 reply)
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  15. Special Needs Advice please- how would you handle? 7yo dd is sensory seeking, and I've noticed a few impulse control things but that may just be because she's 7. Today we bought her and her...(more) 15 hr 57 min ago (15 replies)
    little brother chairs at Ikea. We were having a great time putting them all together, and I noticed she was holding a sharp screw, and running it lightly across the would. I know that scraping it hard would feel good to her, so said I clearly to please NOT scraper her brother's chair. She instead poked screws through the cardboard box, which I thought was great. Then, just as we were finishing, she took a screw and a made a deep scratch on his chair. Of course it's 'just a little scratch', but because I'm noticing this impulse stuff a lot when it comes to other people's stuff (yanking huge blooms of neighbor's flowers, throwing one of my flower pots and breaking it because it had a bug on it) I want to help her work on it. I'm interested in how you would handle. We gave her a big talking to. Leave it at that?
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    • I might ask a professional for advice on how to manage. 15 hr 56 min ago
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      • op - Ugh, I've already reached out to her therapist on another issue. We had to stop for the summer because we literally cannot afford it right now. Hoping things turn around by...(more) 15 hr 55 min ago
        fall.
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    • my dd was like this, and it turned into safety issues, and eventually she was just miserable. we put her on adhd meds and she's basically fine (also learned to read, finally,...(more) 15 hr 55 min ago
      within a couple of months)
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      • op - We're not sure if she has ADD, we're addressing the sensory and low tone things first through OT (if she's just uncomfortable in her own skin and can't focus because of it)...(more) 15 hr 51 min ago
        She's doing really well in school, and some are telling me that makes ADD unlikely.
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        • i get that. 3rd grade might tell... 15 hr 49 min ago
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          • op - True! She's going into second, and it will be her first year with OT, so we'll see how it goes 15 hr 42 min ago
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    • can that chair become her chair? 15 hr 54 min ago
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      • op - great suggestions! But they got different ones, his would be way too small :) 15 hr 54 min ago
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      • good temporary solution if dd actually cares. mine wouldn't. 15 hr 53 min ago
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    • I thought you were describing a 3-4yo at first. I would talk to a psychiatrist. 15 hr 44 min ago
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      • What do you think the issue might be? 15 hr 40 min ago
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        • I really have no idea. I do sympathize with the cost issue, though. MI costs are just so demoralizing 15 hr 37 min ago
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          • ^i meant mental health costs^ 15 hr 37 min ago
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            • op -thanks. It gives me a panicked feeling to think that she needs help and I can't help her right now because of the cost. Then again, this is one moment and she is mostly doing...(more) 15 hr 35 min ago
              okay.
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              • When we couldn't afford our expensive psych anymore we found a child psychologist who took our insurance and she turned out to be great for our DD. Many mental health...(more) 14 hr 56 min ago
                professionals won't take insurance but some still do. Check your provider's list.
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  16. Special Needs Ds just simultaneously translated into english while reading a kids' book in his other language. he's 9 and i'm pretty flabbergasted. never underestimate your dc. 15 hr 59 min ago (3 replies)
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    • what other language 15 hr 55 min ago
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      • don't want to out myself but it's eastern european. it uses the latin alphabet but with various funny characters. 15 hr 55 min ago
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        • I doubt you would out yourself 15 hr 54 min ago
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  17. Special Needs 8yo ds starting taking a very low dose of ritalin a few days ago. it is not extended release. he is only taking one in the morning. i havent noticed any difference in his behavior...(more) 16 hr 32 min ago (22 replies)
    yet, but knew that we might not on the low dose. but he says he cant fall asleep at night. he took 10mg today for the first time, and it is after 10pm here and he is doing laps around his room. could this be from the meds at a low dose and only early in the day or would you think something else is going on?
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    • dd started on 5mg of short acting and it didn't help. but 10 mgs of LA was perfect. however, she had a very hard falling asleep. melatonin. 16 hr 31 min ago
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      • poster below> i struggle with melatonin. you're correct that it works, I just am really troubled over the potential long term impact of that. I am on a break from giving ds...(more) 16 hr 29 min ago
        only 300 mcg of melatonin
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        • op: i take melatonin myself. i alternate a few weeks on that and a few on valerian. i took ambien for years and stopped a year ago. like you, im not sure i want to start my 8yo on...(more) 16 hr 26 min ago
          another med to counteract the first med, etc
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    • so they start at a low dose for one reason only: to exclude the meds that have bad side effects for your particular child. his sleep is most likely to be affected by any...(more) 16 hr 30 min ago
      stimulant
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      • so you think it's the meds then? crap. we dont live in the us. the only meds approved here are stimulants. my dh is going to take ds for a walk at 10:30 at night to try to wear...(more) 16 hr 27 min ago
        him out. school starts late tomorrow at least
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        • the thing is, I don't know that my ds is adversely impacted by the reduction in sleep while he's on the meds (we use long acting), KWIM? 16 hr 26 min ago
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          • I agree with this 16 hr 25 min ago
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          • yeah, i hear you. my ds isnt a huge sleeper anyway though. he wakes up at 6 or earlier nearly every day. so if he isnt asleep by around 9, it really isnt enough sleep. of course i...(more) 16 hr 23 min ago
            also dont sleep and the only time in my life i did was late teens. even on ambien i didnt sleep more than 5 hours. but he is pacing and uncomfortable
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    • meds...that would drive me fkn nuts 16 hr 30 min ago
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      • sorry..auto..meds 16 hr 29 min ago
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    • My ds just turned 9. He only takes it for school days and those days it's definitely harder for him to fall asleep. My guy takes it for focus. He's not hyper and moves slowly,...(more) 16 hr 28 min ago
      kind of weird for adhd.
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      • the doctor said we should do it 7 days, both so we could observe any change in his behavior, and also because his biggest issue is impulse control, so his behavior is a serious...(more) 16 hr 25 min ago
        challenge whether in or out of school
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        • poster who wrote about starting on a low dose to find negative side effects: the 10 is a trial run. My son is taking 20 long acting for impulse control/behavior. it's...(more) 16 hr 23 min ago
          actually helping. good luck.
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          • thanks. he was only on 5 for three days and i didnt hear him pacing on 5, but he said he has been having trouble for 3 or 4 days, which is how long he has been on the meds. i dont...(more) 16 hr 22 min ago
            know if he is super sensitive to it or its in his head or he is stressed out or what
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            • it's common, but if school starts tomorrow I'm sure that's contributing to everything. 16 hr 19 min ago
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              • no, sorry, it doesnt start tomorrow. it hasnt ended yet for summer. it starts late tomorrow because we live in germany and chool is starting late because they assume kids will be...(more) 16 hr 18 min ago
                up late watching the world cup
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            • np: disscuss with doctor, but also it is a new drug. when we get acclimated to drugs they often don't have the side effects they do at the beginning. 14 hr 51 min ago
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              • thanks. gave it to him a little later today than on school days too. i hope tomorrow is better. he has been sleeping now for about an hour 14 hr 50 min ago
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        • These meds are great when they work, but sometimes you have trial and error to get it right. I felt like my ds got a little emotional when he was first taking it. It took him a...(more) 16 hr 22 min ago
          few weeks before it regulated in his system. Good luck
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          • thanks 16 hr 21 min ago
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            • ^^i can see if we can try it a little longer. unfortunately, there are no other meds to try here 16 hr 19 min ago
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              • Yes, it could be the meds. But not all stimulants will necessarliy keep him up. Try Focalin or something else. 13 hr 28 min ago
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  18. Special Needs Anyone due genetic testing for global dev delays? What did you find out? 18 hr 13 min ago (20 replies)
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    • I'm sure I'll get flamed for this, but I've never believed that children have merely "global developmental delays." Isn't that what people use as a euphemism for "o...(more) 18 hr ago
      spectrum"? That said, I did genetic testing for my globally delayed/on the spectrum child. A microarray test. It came back negative (i.e., no mutations or deletions).
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      • When I think global delays I don't think spectrum but deficits in speech, physical and mental areas. Which could be spectrum added but usually no. 17 hr 48 min ago
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      • My ds had global delays at age 2yo, now more specific in certain areas. Definitively not on the spectrum. 17 hr 47 min ago
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        • ^^^ He also has a minor chromosome issue which we knew about in utero. 17 hr 46 min ago
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          • What is minor chromosome issue? 3 hr 20 min ago
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      • No. My child who was early labelled "global delay" is now called dyspraxic/SPD, no spectrum. 16 hr 46 min ago
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        • They told us when he was turning 5 we could try genetic testing, but that any dx that would mean a difference in his services/interventions was already ruled out, so it would just...(more) 16 hr 45 min ago
          be for the sake of knowing. DS is so NOT a fan of blood draws that we decided not to do it just for reasons of curiosity.
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      • absolutely not. it is more a euphemism for what used to be called mental retardation -children with low cognitive abilities. Some may have something causing it and catch up to 14 hr 47 min ago
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        • No, global delay means global--usually fine motor, gross motor, speech, sometimes cognitive as well, although at the young ages where they use this dx it can be hard to suss out...(more) 14 hr 30 min ago
          what is a cognitive delay and what is delayed play skills, etc because of the aforesaid speech and motor development issues. Once it is concluded that a child can't "catch up" the delay, they change the dx.
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          • Thank you for the explanation. A friend has a child diagnosed with global delay who turned out to have low IQ for unknown reasons. She is physically normal and actually turned out...(more) 14 hr 17 min ago
            to be athletic.
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            • ^also this girl, now a teen is not on the spectrum, always social and easy going. 14 hr 16 min ago
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            • I have seen kids who started out with global delay dx who wound up diagnosed as everything from cerebral palsy to autism to dyspraxia And some who simply caught up and had no...(more) 13 hr 19 min ago
              further dx.
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          • So how old is the child when it's no longer considered a "delay" but a different diagnosis? 8 hr 41 min ago
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            • Usually they reframe the diagnosis by school age. 1 hr 40 min ago
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      • Op- actually dc has delays in all areas, but definitely NOT on spectrum per dev Ped, reg Ped, EI there's etc 14 hr 29 min ago
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    • Neurologist had me get Fragile X testing for ds, which turned up nothing. He wound up with an autism dx, got tons of ABA and every other therapy, and eventually lost the dx. So to...(more) 17 hr 55 min ago
      do this day I don't really know what was going on with ds in the early days.
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    • We did. 1p36 and 5q14.3 deletion. Good for me as closure and prognosis to know what exactly was causing the delays. 17 hr 49 min ago
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      • So what is dx and what causes those a genetic issues? 14 hr 30 min ago
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        • If it's genetic, it's, well, genetic. Either inherited or a spontaneous mutation. 1 hr 39 min ago
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        • 1p36 was passed down as an unbalanced from dh but he's not affected. 5q14.3 was spontaneous. So they're missing those pieces from their chromosomes. tiny but important pieces. it...(more) 4 min ago
          comes with a lot of other dx as well. Brain abnormalities, vision and hearing and feeding isssues, epilepsy, very delayed gross and speech skills. Unlikely to walk or talk. Severe mental retardation. And we thought at first just global delays but seeing as both were hit with it and similarly we decided to do genetic testing.
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  19. Special Needs Anyone have a dc on Fluoxetine who gained weight? 20 hr 7 min ago (1 reply)
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    • yes, but I don't mind because he was so thin. 13 hr 18 min ago
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  20. Special Needs Those of you whose DCs are doing summer camp, what type of classes is DC doing instead/how do you structure your day? 7-13-2014 8:16am (2 replies)
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    • Did you mean not doing camp? We do swim team and beach club, karate, playdates, free library program 7-13-2014 8:29am
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      • yes sorry - typed quickly - I mean those whose DCs are NOT doing summer camp! Looking for ideas for next year - not sure if we'll do a full daycamp next time. 20 hr 43 min ago
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  21. Special Needs Those of you mainstreaming your kids..how did you convince CPSE to consider this choice vs. integrated schools? TIA 7-13-2014 12:28am (5 replies)
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    • They have to offer the least restrictive option, which would be mainstream, if appropriate. 7-13-2014 12:29am
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      • Thanks, I'm convinced its appropriate and her school agrees...just not sure if they are monetarily incentivized to push us towards integrated school 7-13-2014 12:31am
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        • Are both options public? 7-13-2014 12:35am
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        • I'm not on NYC but for my dc LRE was more expensive as it required an aide. We consulted with an attny. The attny said we were in a good district, would not need her and told us...(more) 7-13-2014 7:15am
          What to do to get it. That specif advice probably does not apply to NYC.
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        • Integration actually IS mainstreaming. Do you mean you want your DC put into a gen ed class with no support except for some pull out service? 7-13-2014 8:10am
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  22. Special Needs PSA NYU Child Study Neuropsych eval is 100% covered ($10 co-pay! ha!) if you are on NYU employee on NYU's insurance plan. 7-12-2014 8:44pm (2 replies)
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    • That's fantastic....too bad it doesn't also apply to nyu grads. :) 23 hr 49 min ago
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    • We did not have great experience but I know they have different people there and have had changes so hopefully it will work out and great that its covered since we ended up...(more) 22 hr 32 min ago
      needing to go for another consultation to someone else after.
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  23. Special Needs Shout out to all the parents who get help for their kids....went to party today with my DS' old preschool friends from back in the MS days. He is so much calmer, more regulated,...(more) 7-12-2014 8:06pm (11 replies)
    and more mature than most of them, esp the ones whose parents told me that I was over-calling it and the teachers were nuts. Those kids were unable to articulate their needs, melting down, and reverting to video games when things got too much. My DS came and sat with me and some other adults and said, "it's too loud in here. I'll wait till it calms down."
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    • You know you sound smug, right? Some of us get help for our kids but our kids don't see such dramatic gains. 7-12-2014 10:58pm
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      • I did not read it this way at all. The reality is that many parents are in denial and are so for years and often those moms can be mean and judgmental to parents who chose to...(more) 23 hr 15 min ago
        accept their dc was different and get help. I see this often - moms that I did mommy and me classes with who ignored the flags until later on and now their dc is having a much harder time then they would have if they had received help early. I read it as more of an observation then judgement. Its tough and all parents are on their own journey. Why is it a bad thing to say, I am glad I got help early? How is that any different then sn parents asking why its the sn kids who get social skills when so many of the nt kids need them?
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        • I can see one or two that does happen but the entire group of NT dcs were having meltdowns and acting out (assuming elementary age) because their parents are all in denial? 21 hr 51 min ago
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          • Well, yes. I mean I was not there but personally speaking my dc has received social skills / behavioral therapy since age 2. I took him to CBT around 8 and the psych said that...(more) 21 hr 24 min ago
            b/c of all the therapy dc is far more aware of his emotions and behavior then a nt dc of the same age. That does not change the fact that my dc has autism but my dc was forced at an early age to learn how to articulate needs that nt dcs din not have to. I am not saying all the kids at the party that OP was at were in denial but some very well may have been and others may be typical nt kids that dont need to be as self aware as our kids do. I think OP is trying to see a silver lining. Its great that her dc, like mine is able to express his needs and often better at it then nt dcs. And yes, all that therapy sucked and was hard to do and many nt parents told me I was crazy to do it.
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            • ^ and yes, its kinda nice to show the parents who called you crazy how well your dc is doing. I even had one call me up an apologize years later. 21 hr 11 min ago
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    • Are you saying your ds is doing better than NT peers from MS preschool? I admire that you have done so much therapy. On the other hand, the behaviors you are witnessing from...(more) 7-12-2014 11:21pm
      typical kids is just that. It's easy to over think when you have been doing therapy for so many years.
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    • lady, I don't need some stupid shout out to justify why I my kid evaluated. 7-12-2014 11:28pm
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    • it's a personal journey, some get there faster than others 7-12-2014 11:33pm
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    • It can be very painful when those around you make you doubt yourself when you are worried about your child. You were right to listen to your gut and your ds has benefitted from...(more) 7-12-2014 11:39pm
      that. But it may be more useful just to think about that aspect than to compare him to anyone - anyone at all, SN or NT, period. I know I am much happier and healthier when I consider my dc totally apart from where any other kid is, including my NT dc.
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      • I agree with the first half but not the second. We do compare and need to. We need to so we know how to plan for the future, to know how to prioritize therapy now. Its...(more) 20 hr 30 min ago
        unrealistic for us not to use situations were our dcs are placed next to nt dcs of the same age as a gauge. Some amount of that is healthy.
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    • I get where you are coming from... I was (and still am) told by one friend that my kid is just energetic and normal and none of these therapies will be any different than doing...(more) 7-12-2014 11:52pm
      nothing. I don't compare my ds to hers but i DO believe that my son has made amazing progress thanks to our choice to be proactive.
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  24. Special Needs Need some advice on stealing, SN board. 8yo has ODD and anxiety dx. She has stolen things here and there, usually from school or friends' houses, and if I found out, I made her...(more) 7-12-2014 7:05pm (9 replies)
    return them in person with an apology. It seems to have really ramped up lately. On the last day of school, she stole 8 books from the school library. I made her pay to ship them back with her own money and write a note of apology. We just left an overnight with a family friend, and I discovered dd's backpack stuffed with American Girl accessories -- and this even after the other girl OFFERED to give dd an AG dress, and I warned dd specifically not to take anything more than the dress (as I suspected she might steal stuff). So what to do now? Another round of ship-everything-back-with-note-of-apology? More punishment? We've been doing the Kazdin method of positive reinforcement over the last week, with great results, and now this.
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    • What does her therapist say? 7-12-2014 7:06pm
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      • Not in therapy for a while. Just moved to new state, but also stopped 6 mos ago when we saw very little progress and were having a lot of trouble getting reimbursed from insurance...(more) 7-12-2014 7:07pm
        (were floating around $8k in fees and it was just too much). I'm thinking it's time to find a new therapist here in our new town.
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    • I am really sorry. We had some of that with DS (ADD, anxiety, bordering on ODD). Mostly from us & his sister, but he did steal something small from a store. It's awful and we...(more) 7-12-2014 7:17pm
      felt very helpless about it--did the things you are describing, etc. It is one of many reasons why we chose a therapeutic boarding school for him--we were totally out of our depth.
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    • I'm totally guessing but could the stealing be acting out from anxiety? Are you medicating the anxiety? 7-12-2014 11:55pm
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      • Yes, she is on Zoloft. The Z worked wonders at first, but even as we've upped the dose, we've seen no improvements after the first month. 7-13-2014 7:54am
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        • you really need to do therapy plus meds. the meds are not a cure all for the underlying anxiety. they just take the edge off. DC still needs tools to deal with it. 7-13-2014 8:11am
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          • I hear you, and I know we need her to get back into CBT. Unfortunately, the last time we did it we found it crushingly expensive and not very effective, and this was even...(more) 23 hr 54 min ago
            with a therapist that she adored. (And this is coming from someone for whom CBT was life changing, so I have nothing against the concept.)
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            • ugh. Maybe a more playbased therapy would be effective for her? 20 hr 43 min ago
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              • Maybe. She is very aware and resistant to people trying to change her behavior. For example, if you say, "I like the way you asked for that nicely" (or whatever they tell you to...(more) 19 hr 48 min ago
                say in books), she will roll her eyes or even get mad.
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  25. Special Needs How is the writing program offered at the community school in teaneck nj...(more) 7-12-2014 6:59pm (0 replies)
    any comments ????
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