Special Needs

  1. Special Needs If your DC does volunteer-led activities not geared towards SN (like youth sports or religious ed), how do they handle the SN issues that crop up? Involved with an organization...(more) 2 hr 48 min ago (6 replies)
    that is really struggling with this issue right now.
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    • what do you mean? 2 hr 47 min ago
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      • basically, our congregation is really having a hard time with religious ed classes. The classes are taught by volunteers, who are usually other parents or older members of the...(more) 2 hr 35 min ago
        congregation - lovely people, many experienced in volunteering for youth activities, but not trained to work with SN behavioral issues. In every grade, we have a couple of kids who have something going on (mine included!), mostly ADHD, ASD - kids who absolutely should be included, but many of whom need more support to function in the class/group than an untrained volunteer can offer. Some parents have been very upfront about the kid's needs; some have completely denied there's anything going on; and some (understandably) feel like it's private and shouldn't be shared with the community. The teachers are upset and struggling because some of the kids really need a lot of support. We've run into this issue with youth sports, too - just wondering how other people have handled it.
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        • I have to ask wher eyou are because I could type this. I actually teach K/1 Hebrew and have a SN kid in the class and my ds is SN (but he is older). I can tell you that you have...(more) 2 hr 33 min ago
          to have madrachim in the classes for those kids. That was key, because they can work one on one, or be an aid, that has made all the difference
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          • That sounds like a nice solution, but our religion has RE classes through senior year of high school - they wouldn't be available to help the younger kids, as they would be in...(more) 2 hr 25 min ago
            class at the same time. Some people have suggested that the parent of a child who needs more support ought to serve as an aide, but we've seen that be disruptive to the student and class (the younger kids want to know why their parents can't come, the older kids resent a parent being present, and for the older kids, some of the classes really deal with heavy stuff that the kids would rather discuss with trusted adults who aren't their parents).
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            • yeah, you can't od that. On Sundays, the madrachim don't have classes, they go on monday nights 2 hr 22 min ago
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    • ive been a girl scout leader for several years. one troop required the parent to be there-essentially said that we are volunteers, we aren't trained to handle the sn, these...(more) 2 hr 15 min ago
      behaviors impact the troop. the parent declined to participate. another troop, the grandparent comes with the girl-in all honesty, the girl's sn would not impact the troop -she gets sad when activities are over but I'd feel comfortabe handling this. another troop, both the parent and the main troop leader were in denial, caused real issues for kids and my dd dropped out
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  2. Special Needs Anyone familiar with Community School in Teaneck? What is the population like? Went on a tour and liked it. Do they just take kids with Language disabilities? 3 hr 31 min ago (3 replies)
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    • No. 3 hr 24 min ago
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    • Sure they do. That was our 2nd choose if DS did not get into Churchill. Some of the kids have more going on but many have language based learning issues. 3 hr 22 min ago
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      • but is it solely for reading/language like winward? 23 min ago
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  3. Special Needs Thanks you note to a mom who conversed with me here....(more) 3 hr 41 min ago (3 replies)
    You have 4 kids, 2 with SNs (pick me up off the floor) and were writing to me from Asia. I was on the verge of throwing away a 10 year career (itself was built after earning a STEM Ph.D.) owing to exhaustion from parenting my 8yo Aspie and NT sib. Our exchanged helped me step back from the ledge a little. Some good things are happening and I let them make me happy. And a little happy helped me feel 'I can do this'-y. Cause I can. So thank you.
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    • ^ Thank you note 3 hr 41 min ago
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    • That was me and I'm so glad I could help! I'm about to board a plane with SN dc#2 but I'll check in when I've landed. I'm good the practical outsourcing help and very glad to...(more) 3 hr 24 min ago
      able to pass it on!!!
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      • OP I'm so glad this reached you. You were an important part of a big reframing. 2 hr 30 min ago
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  4. Special Needs Can anyone suggest a small mainstream extra curricular class that would be a good fit for a highly anxious, cautious, selectively mute 4 yo boy? In NYC. UES preferred but might...(more) 4 hr 57 min ago (21 replies)
    be willing to travel. TIA
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    • ^^OP: My son is in an SN school but hoping to expose him to typical peers at least once per week. tia 4 hr 56 min ago
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      • has he tried swim lessons? 3 hr 39 min ago
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        • OP: Not yet. Don't think he would go in the water by himself though. He would want me or dh to go in with him. Does that mean I would need to find a private instructor I...(more) 3 hr 3 min ago
          guess?
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          • I posted re gymnastics. And put him in a class where he is the oldest -- social and other demands will be less intimidating 3 hr ago
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    • dance? 4 hr 53 min ago
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      • ^^ or an interactive music class? 4 hr 50 min ago
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        • would art class in clay, painting, etc. work--nice to delve into the materails with conversation secondary 4 hr 38 min ago
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          • or - I think those sound great too 4 hr 37 min ago
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          • It's on the uws, but the Handprints art class at Rutgers church is great--typical kids, free play with art materials, and Cindy, the teacher, is great with all kinds of kids. 18 min ago
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    • Many years ago, there was a selectively mute girl in my DS's class at Applause! NYC. She loved it and did great, 4 hr 16 min ago
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      • OP: Thanks. I just looked it up but I think it will be asking too much of him at this point to try to perform or publicly speak in any way. Would be great if he could do it...(more) 2 hr 59 min ago
        though!
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        • No performance needed. Our class just did a small thing that not everyone participated in. Two kids just hot up and danced. Very low key 51 min ago
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    • I don't know UES well but my ASD dc who did not speak to other children until abou age 4 thrived in a gymnastics class. Big class but divided into small groups to rotate through...(more) 3 hr 39 min ago
      stations.
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      • OP: Ok thanks. My son is not a very active or physical kid but maybe I will think about something like this. My son just turned 4 and also just started speaking to other...(more) 3 hr ago
        kids. In some situations he is still mute or mostly mute though. He does not have a formal diagnosis but likely ASD as well.
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    • OT recommended w 2 hr 59 min ago
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      • ^water for ds, swimming lessons were a godsend for him. 2 hr 58 min ago
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        • OP: Thanks. Did you do group lessons or private? Where were the swimming classes? tia 2 hr 56 min ago
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          • we did group, but if I had the money, I would have done private. 2 hr 55 min ago
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            • op: ok thanks. I might look into private lessons at the Y. Just don't think the group instruction will go well for my son 2 hr 38 min ago
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              • np The JCC has amazing SN swim classes 2 hr 35 min ago
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                • OP: ok thanks. will look into that 2 hr 19 min ago
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  5. Special Needs Has anyone done bloodwork to look at food sensitivities with a doctor that is open to a biomedical-approach but not hard core Dan? I think my son prob has some sensitivities (he...(more) 8 hr 31 min ago (1 reply)
    has some crazy sporadic diarrhea) but doing an elimination diet with no guidance is intimidating- especially when we are fighting over everything already. I guess I want a dr versed in how sensitivities affect behavior without all of the chelation and other stuff pushed on us. Does this dr exist? In NYC?
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    • We worked with Kelly Dorfman. She is a nutritionist who has worked for 20 years with sn kids. Read her book "What's eating your child". She is based in MD but does skype and...(more) 7 hr 21 min ago
      telephone consults. She had us to the testing and in our case it came out as I suspected - no intolerances except for mild to moderate dairy (which made total sense based on his symptoms). She was reasonably priced too. I would avoid hard core DANs and even some naturopaths- they often use tests and labs which will find toxins and intolerances in everyone.
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  6. Special Needs Just spoke to Nick Seivert. The guy is so damn good. 10 hr 9 min ago (7 replies)
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    • How's he doing in MN these days? 10 hr 6 min ago
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      • Great. great move for him. And after 5 years with my ds I'm grateful for his continued feedback. 10 hr 2 min ago
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        • He is a truly lovely guy and I'm glad he's happy. We are lucky in that my dc had gotten to a very good point thanks to his help so that when he left, we didn't need someone of his...(more) 9 hr 56 min ago
          Caliber anymore and an ordinary talented therapist (rather than Nick level) has sufficed. :)
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          • OP here- I LOVE stories like this! so wonderful hat your child is doing well. 9 hr 53 min ago
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            • Thank you! I hope yours is too. 9 hr 51 min ago
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              • slowly but surely... xo 9 hr 41 min ago
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    • I spoke to him recently as well. Crazy that it's been 2 yrs. 6 hr 44 min ago
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  7. Special Needs PSA: There is a wonderful - and free - parent support group run by Hilda Chusid at YAI for parents of kids on the spectrum. To access this...(more) 12 hr 44 min ago (0 replies)
    resource, parents have to request this service as part of the EI services provided. HTHs!
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  8. Special Needs Need advice. ADHD DS applied to a school (6th). Pretty sure chance of accept is zero b/c distracted had to be told not to touch during tour, plus didn' 13 hr 17 min ago (1 reply)
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    • sorry, didn't get into other schools. Is there any way to ask if he blew it? I don't want to go thru effort of finishing app if chance is nil 13 hr 15 min ago
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  9. Special Needs Please dont flame me. I wrote to a well known comedien (not a list but well known) to ask him to read my son's piece and of course he said no. Actually wrote to spouse. While...(more) 13 hr 33 min ago (22 replies)
    i understand this was a pipe dream and he can't read everyone's stuff I am irrationally angry at the world who can't make a few minutes time for an act of kindness to a young fan. That is all, just venting.
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    • Multiply your request by many, many more. 13 hr 31 min ago
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      • no, leave the guy alone. respect his privacy and space. don't be a lunatic. spend your time and energy doing something productive. and how about NONE OF THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO...(more) 13 hr 29 min ago
        WITH YOU, if your son wants to contact him let him but you being involved would be a gianrt red flag to me to stay the hell away from that with a 10 ft pole
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        • No I think the OR meant "this guy gets this kind of request x 1000 every week" 13 hr 29 min ago
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          • oh, if she did then yes, i agree with her. 13 hr 28 min ago
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        • I meant that he likely gets tons of requests. 13 hr 26 min ago
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    • stop. that's like winning the lottery. you spent $2 and hoped you win and now you're irrationally angry that the world didn't give it to you. having a celebrity do anything for...(more) 13 hr 30 min ago
      the unwashed public is akin to winning the lottery.
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      • Thanks for the compassion. I could have spewn these words myself I came here for a hug that's all but I guess don't flame doesn't cut it here any more. 13 hr 26 min ago
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        • you don't need a hug. you need to grow up. 13 hr 25 min ago
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          • Come on, this is SN, people are usually dealing with a lot and a blow like this can feel bigger than it is. 13 hr 24 min ago
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            • sorry, thought it toddler. SORRY OP! 13 hr 20 min ago
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          • What the f ck is wrong with you? 13 hr 23 min ago
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        • np: you were not flamed. you were getting rational responses to help you understand and bring you anger level down 5 hr 11 min ago
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    • I hear you. It would have been really nice if he had said yes. But at least he wrote back! Didn't totally ignore you. I bet that would feel worse, so that's at least a little...(more) 13 hr 30 min ago
      something?
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      • so true! i know this isn't the same but...as a professor i am asked to do things all the f***g time that pay me nothing but are akin to this. i always say no unless it somehow...(more) 13 hr ago
        would help me out personally. i get why the guy said now but it still stinks.
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        • Of course I get why he said no! I understand it was a pipe dream and no one owes us anything for heavens sake! If you knew the context my being disappointed would make a little...(more) 12 hr 57 min ago
          more sense. But anyway that's the way it goes like most things where reality is not as i wish it to be.
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          • I get it, I really do. When I am feeling down, a person glaring at me on the street can set me back for the whole day. Please do something nice for yourself today, okay? 12 hr 56 min ago
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            • Thank you. It's no one else's fault I have sn dc I want to help. 12 hr 52 min ago
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              • Keep trying. You never know what will happen. Look at Channing Tatum being interviewed by that nonverbal girl - they asked and it happened! 12 hr 48 min ago
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    • No harm in trying. 13 hr 21 min ago
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    • Many People (famous and accomplished) Do Say Yes! Keep Trying and Encourage Your Son Too...(more) 8 hr 43 min ago
      Check out these podcasts and people who agreed to participate (CEO of Trader Joe's!):
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    • Sorry I would be bummed to especially when celebrities like to use social media to do a blast the one time the a live a request 7 hr 20 min ago
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  10. Special Needs DC is five and is acting out aggressively with kids after school. Could this be part of the fact that it looks like he will be diagnosed with dyslexia soon-I mean is being...(more) 23 hr 48 min ago (30 replies)
    agressive go along with learning disabilities? He mentions he forgets stuff all the time and he gets nervous when the teacher "makes" him try to read... But could there be something else going on besides the LD issue? He is also short so my husband thinks maybe he also feels physically threatened when the other boys rough house with him
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    • They all rough house with each other so it isn't like he's being singled out 23 hr 47 min ago
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    • He may feel anxious at school, especially if he is struggling to learn and he can see other kids are having an easier time. That can be really difficult for a little kid to...(more) 23 hr 47 min ago
      process emotionally.
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      • Op I was thinking that... Should I find him a counselor, or more effective to just talk to him myself? 23 hr 45 min ago
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        • Who is dxing him with dyslexia, what kind of professional? Has he had a neuropsychological evaluation? 23 hr 44 min ago
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          • Yes, had neuropsych eval 23 hr 40 min ago
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        • Hangry. Try to boil it down to why is he letting loose then. Chances are being exhausted from straining himself all day combined with ending a snack could be a huge part of it. 23 hr 43 min ago
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          • I was thinking this. I usually bring a lot of snack but only had yogurt this time and so now I feel guilty 23 hr 39 min ago
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      • This. And then it lets go at the wrong times or simply out of the school structure. Could be exhausted from trying. And might be hungry as well. 23 hr 45 min ago
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    • Could be anxiety, frustration. Maybe related to an ld, maybe not. Are you having a np evaluation? That will help you figure it out. 23 hr 45 min ago
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      • He was evaluated by a neuropsychologist she thinks he is a very anxious kid and that he is dyslexic but too young to diagnose. She says bring him back when he is six 23 hr 43 min ago
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        • What recommendations did she make in the meantime to help him in and out of school? It sounds like he is really struggling. 23 hr 43 min ago
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          • Tutors and maybe counseling --which I think we will def look into now. He only acts out after school, not during and only with specific kids. He has two close friends 23 hr 42 min ago
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            • I would definitely think about outside therapy and I would also touch base with your NP to tell her about this development because he may be trying to communicate that school is a...(more) 23 hr 39 min ago
              really hard place for him to be right now, that he feels unsettled and unhappy there. I also agree with those recommending giving him a snack etc., but new behaviors are usually a way of trying to get a message to the world.
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              • Op. Ok, I am taking this advice. Thank you! 23 hr 38 min ago
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        • I'd get some counseling for the anxiety. Teach him some coping skills 23 hr 40 min ago
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          • Op yes, I think we must 23 hr 31 min ago
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    • hard to say. this was my adhd 5 yo, but your kid needs an evaluation if it's interfering with school 23 hr 45 min ago
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    • Does he have a history of being speech delayed? 23 hr 45 min ago
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      • Yes he was in speech but was technically caught up by age two 23 hr 43 min ago
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        • Interesting--what was the speech issue from birth-2? 23 hr 42 min ago
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          • Never really babbled 23 hr 41 min ago
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        • I wonder if he's having trouble expressing himself still 23 hr 27 min ago
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    • OMG- this was me two years ago- They tried to tell me son was ODD at 5! finally a psychiatrist realized he probably had a learning disability. His dyslexia is pretty severe....(more) 23 hr 35 min ago
      He is 8 now and just starting to read, but it took a long time for him to feel good about himself. We took him out of public and put him in a school that was more accepting of LD.
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      • ^also he has a wilson trained tutor 3-4 times a week for past 8 months. 23 hr 32 min ago
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        • Op. Interesting to read this...we r also considering special needs friendly private schools but they are hard to find 23 hr 28 min ago
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          • good luck- this has been a long road for us so far and I just feel like it is beginning. My ds had major shut down and it took his new school a few months to get him wanting to...(more) 23 hr 19 min ago
            learn again.
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          • None of my 3 kids could read at 5 but only 1 is dyslexic. I assume the NP found other issues because not reading at 5 would not seem enough to go to a SN school, at least from my...(more) 21 hr 18 min ago
            experience (I have 1 in SN school).
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            • She is almost certain he is dyslexic-has all the characteristics, not just because he's not reading. Strong history of dyslexia in the family, attention issues, and...(more) 16 hr 11 min ago
              Anxiety surrounding academics. He is smart, it is much higher than my own, but I absolutely no trouble keeping up with academics-especially at this age.
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              • Was trying to type iq is higher than my own 16 hr 10 min ago
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    • so being aggressive does not go along with learning disabilities, but being aggressive goes along with feeling unable to do the work in school, feeling that everyone is laughing...(more) 16 hr 11 min ago
      at him, that the teacher is not supporting him, etc. The kind of "aggression" that goes away in the right school setting. BTDT.
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  11. Special Needs 12 yo dd has been very challanging for me. She has LD and adhd, has been very angry/oppositional at home for years. Just starting to get really good help at school and therapy....(more) 5-23-2016 11:01pm (7 replies)
    Told me tonight she can't remember a time when she and I didn't argue. It is true and she has not been easy to parent but I feel so bad. Want very much to warm up to her but it is so hard at times when she is aggressive and extremely disrespectful. I know it is the age and part of the territory but I am struggling here. Just venting. Any btdt input appreciated.
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    • Have you had therapy? 5-23-2016 11:02pm
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    • Read the whole brain child. 5-23-2016 11:03pm
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      • Op again. Someone just reccomended this to me. I will get it. Thanks! 23 hr 55 min ago
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    • I feel like this abiut 13yo Ds. Is it possible for you to take her away for a few days, away from things you fight about, and school, and friends etc, so stressors are removed...(more) 5-23-2016 11:03pm
      and you can just do things together? That's how I remind myself that I like him, that he's a good kid, that he has interests other than being belligerent.
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    • I would go into family therapy with her. Hang in there, it is so hard. The important thing is that you both *want* to connect, you just need good help to do that. 5-23-2016 11:09pm
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    • Thank you all. We have had lots of therapy, individual, family, dh and I went for parent training. She refused to continue therapy for a while and tends to avoid things that make...(more) 23 hr 56 min ago
      her anxious. I am in therapy and it is very helpful. She is now too.
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      • I predict that someday, maybe not soon but someday, you will hit on an activity you can do with her, or alongside her, that doesn't require conversation or interaction but where...(more) 23 hr 52 min ago
        you can just be doing it while she does it. Skiing, hiking, knitting, swimming, even just reading silently in the same room, that kind of thing can establish the start of a bond. The trick is to be doing it in parallel rather than together, and so it feels less intrusive or demanding, and there's less to fight over.
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  12. Special Needs Ever just get so down about your SN kid that you want to hide from all your friends 5-23-2016 9:00pm (9 replies)
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    • Yes, which is when friends IRL with SN dc are great. But if I really can't deal, I come here. What's going on? 5-23-2016 9:01pm
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      • just feel like my kid is so immature and other kids his age are leaving him behind. Also, one of his good friends, recently told him that a kid in class has been making fun of...(more) 5-23-2016 9:03pm
        him. It just makes me sad
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    • yesterday I saw a dad (a friend) be so annoyed with his SN kid. Kid kept repeating himself over and over...dad just looked annoyed and said "yeah, yeah" and then unhooked the...(more) 5-23-2016 9:01pm
      kids arm from his. guess that can be overwhelming/annoying after awhile
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      • I do that once a day 5-23-2016 9:03pm
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        • be annoyed? I can totally see that 5-23-2016 9:04pm
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          • say "stop talking to me: I am doing somthing else. I don't want to answer the same question over and over about dogs" (he does this fill in the blanks sripting thing) 5-23-2016 9:06pm
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    • Oh yeah. Even Facebook bums me out. 5-23-2016 9:35pm
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      • Facebook is so toxic for many reasons, IMO. 5-23-2016 10:44pm
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      • I wouldn't say "even Facebook" - Facebook is DESIGNED to make EVERYONE feel bad about their life and either hide or lie. 5-23-2016 10:47pm
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  13. Special Needs It is so hard to find a good reading tutor. Most just work with dyslexia. Few are well versed in methods for reading comprehension. 5-23-2016 7:20pm (17 replies)
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    • I have an amazing reading comp tutor. Amazing. 5-23-2016 7:31pm
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      • How did you find her/him? 5-23-2016 7:40pm
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        • Former teacher at my ds's previous SN private. 5-23-2016 7:46pm
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          • Ah lucky you! 5-23-2016 7:52pm
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            • op: Are you in NYC? 5-23-2016 7:52pm
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              • No - suburbs 5-23-2016 9:34pm
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                • Do you have a sn school in your area? Call and ask for a tutor in reading comprehension. My ds main issue is reading comp, not fluency or decoding. Not sure how you decided that...(more) 23 hr 14 min ago
                  reading comp issues aren't dyslexia.
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                  • I didn't "decide". The NP told us he is not dyslexic. Has other issues. My kid was reading by age 4. Just comprehension started lagging as text got more difficult come 3rd grade. 16 hr 23 min ago
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                    • Dyslexia is a catch-all phrase for reading disabilities. So being ok with fluency and decoding, but having trouble with reading comprehension would fall under dyslexia. I think...(more) 11 hr 1 min ago
                      the idea is that too much processing is spent on fluency and decoding and not enough energy left for comprehension. I honestly wouldn't get stuck on a word,
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                      • Omg do you seriously think you know better than David Salsberg??? My DS is an excellent speller and has no issues with phonics either. Please shut it. 7 hr 18 min ago
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                        • Np: dx's can change and like poster said dyslexia is a catch all for a 40 point discrepancy in reading iq to average so there are many types so while your do may not have...(more) 6 hr 29 min ago
                          dyslexia (mine does not as he does not meet the criteria) a tutor for dyslexia still works. Also dx's re not fluid so as workload increases the dx could
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                          • ^change if dc slips too far behind. As a btdt with kids with different dx's comprehension sometimes...(more) 6 hr 28 min ago
                            Can have a perspective taking component and that's hard to teach. We have dc flag important text in one color, and another color for moderate important and so on. Hope this helps
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                        • Ask salsberg for a tutor or specific info on how to remediate 6 hr 26 min ago
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                        • It sounds like your ds has a language based learning disability, not dyslexia. the sn schools that spcialize in language based learning disabilities work on comprehension too....(more) 5 hr 32 min ago
                          My ds's tutor from windward does this. not sure what burb you are in but assuming ny metro if you went to Salsberg. give him a call and ask for leads to a tutor. David Gottesfeld, our NP, referred us to ds' tutor
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                      • Np: other challenges such as attention, language processing and processing speed also impact comprehension. It is not always dyslexia 7 hr 15 min ago
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    • my ds can't visualize language. we are sending his 1x1 teacher to be trained in Lindamood Bell "visualizing & verbalizing" training to implement that with him 20 hr 37 min ago
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      • my ds's speech language pathologist does linda moodbell with him. he is also dyslexic 9 hr 21 min ago
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  14. Special Needs I am very miserable....(more) 5-23-2016 7:01pm (15 replies)
    Just had my ASD son evaluated again today by a developmental pediatrician for the first time in 2.5 years. I know he is severely delayed but to see firsthand how he couldn't even come close to performing at his typical peer age level is heartbreaking. He totally bombed. Makes me question everything his ABA program has been doing over the last few years. He could barely do anything on this test beyond the easiest requests.
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    • He is at least 2.5-3 years delayed. Just wow. 5-23-2016 7:02pm
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    • Sorry, I know it's hard 5-23-2016 7:02pm
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    • has he made progress from when he started? 5-23-2016 7:03pm
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    • It sucks. I know it is hard, but he is making progress? If so try to focus on that. 5-23-2016 7:03pm
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      • Yes he's made progress, before this I even thought lots of progress in some ways. Now I am not so sure. 5-23-2016 7:06pm
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        • Don't let the test results negate the progress that you see. It is a snapshot of where they are to get services. No more, no less. Don't let that detract from any progress...(more) 15 hr 18 min ago
          you've seen or any leaps that have excited you. Hang in there!
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    • How old? 5-23-2016 7:04pm
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    • FWIW, if he suffers from any kind of anxiety, that will skew the result. My DC has always performed badly during any type of eval such as what you describe. Yet performs...(more) 5-23-2016 7:19pm
      well/better in real life/in the classroom. Just saying - today was just a snapshot of your son. It's not all he is. In order to capture that, the evaluator would first need to establish a rapport, and then conduct testing over a period of time once DS was comfortable.
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      • Yes of course compliance, lack of focus were a factor. But even accounting for that I know he couldn't do most of the stuff considered age appropriate even under perfect...(more) 5-23-2016 7:21pm
        conditions.
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        • But chances are he has progressed more than this eval has indicated 5-23-2016 7:27pm
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    • what kinds of things is he working on in aba? 5-23-2016 7:27pm
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    • I say this as a fellow ASD program. I think you need to shift your expectations; why are you expecting him to peform "at hys typical peer age level"? That's not common with kids...(more) 5-23-2016 7:47pm
      with autism. They will never be typical or "normal."
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      • ^ fellow ASD parent of an older ASD child. 5-23-2016 7:49pm
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      • ITA. I have a dc most would consider very HFA (age 5). But he is still a solid year behind in any sort of social communication. And 5 is so young still, esp for an autistic dc. Is...(more) 5-23-2016 8:49pm
        he in a full year ABA school or getting at home ABA and were you feeling good about progress before this eval?
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  15. Special Needs I have a 5 yo DD who might be ADHD inattentive (np refused to diagnose but said all signs pointed to it) moms of older kids: what if anything worked for the inattentiveness? Other...(more) 5-23-2016 5:04pm (9 replies)
    other than meds (because pretty sure she will eventually need them)...vitamins? natural solutions? caffeine? Its sad to see her just space out and I worry that she will start to think less of herself...
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    • If it affects self esteem, medicate. My kid was medicated at 6, but he was impulsive and hitting and tantrumming 5-23-2016 5:09pm
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    • I've never medicated my 13 yo. What worked when he was younger was me helping along with work he wasn't interested in. What he was interested in: no problem. Now at 13, he has a...(more) 5-23-2016 5:10pm
      tutor for the subject he doesn't enjoy and isn't good at. Maturity helped a lot with focus and independence, but the lack of organization has always been the big problem. Best thing you can do: protect dc's sleep and make sure she goes to school fed and has a snack for later.
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    • Typically gets better with age. You can also try to teach organizational skills as your kid gets older 5-23-2016 5:35pm
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    • I have a 10 yo daughter with ADHD mostly inattentive. She started taking medicine in 4th grade-- we probably should have started earlier because it affected her social...(more) 5-23-2016 7:00pm
      relationships with her peers. Just something to think about. ADHD is not just about academics, it affects every aspect of a person'a life. That having been said,,, she;s 5.
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    • You can try fish oil and lots of structure. 5-23-2016 7:19pm
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    • I have adhd and so does DD. Realize she can't organize and help her with that. Also say something to bring her back to reality when she seems dreamy. I wear a watch that vibrates...(more) 5-23-2016 7:44pm
      every so often and sends me alerts for everything I have to do but 5 is young for that.
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      • ^Label where everything goes. Have a routine. Homework (if she has it)in her backpack before sleep, clothes laid out....(more) 5-23-2016 7:46pm
        At age 5 I would not medicate unless it is bad because it will help her to learn that she can succeed, and she can but with one task at a time.
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    • Inattentive 10yo. Tutors help, schedules, executive functioning tutor helps. No meds yet. 5-23-2016 7:50pm
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    • inattentive 9yo, meds at 7.5, life changing. he also benefits from some classroom support re organizing backpack/work, eventually I'd like to get him an executive functioning...(more) 15 hr 5 min ago
      coach. knock on wood, this is by far the most successful school year so far (4th).
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  16. Special Needs Any mom of teen adhd inattentive dc on? Tia 5-23-2016 1:59pm (16 replies)
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    • I have a tween with ADHD inattentive 5-23-2016 2:01pm
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      • Op. Thanks. Really hoping for insight from parents of olde dc. Mine is 14+ 5-23-2016 2:03pm
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        • Well/ Have you got a question? 5-23-2016 2:04pm
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          • Op. Sorry. I was responding to the poster below who has two teenagers. 5-23-2016 2:07pm
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    • Yes? Two of them, here. 5-23-2016 2:03pm
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      • Op. Thanks. Ds is in 8th. I'm finding that we need the Concerta and the booster daily now. I don't know if this is because his inattentiveness is escalating of because too many...(more) 5-23-2016 2:06pm
        external factors (he's in a very social/distrusptive year)? Did you see a change/escalation in 8th or 9th? Tia
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        • My oldest dd wasn't dxd until she almost failed 9th grade. Not that we didnt see a problem, but for the entire year, and middle school before that, all teachers, guidance,...(more) 5-23-2016 2:10pm
          administrators said she "needed to study harder" and "concentrate better". So yes, it got progressively worse as work got harder. The social upheaval in going to a brand new HS exacerbated it all. And she had very bad anxiety on top of it, which we didnt know was common, and presented itself as rages and panic attacks. So medications helped ENORMOUSLY.
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          • Op. That must have been tough for her. New school and so much anxiety. Ds is doing well academically. All his teachers say he doesn't participate enough (I think he gets spacey in...(more) 5-23-2016 2:17pm
            class plus this is a very disruptive group of students). But he does well on hw and assignments. Tests are trickier because he doesnt always understand questions or express himself well. Plus usual test taking anxiety. My concern s are these: he is spacier than ever now. He can miss an entire conversation! He isn't following cues too well either. I also know that he is sometimes bullied by some of the boys although he laughs it off or ignores it. I don't know if it will get better
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    • I have a 17 yo ds 5-23-2016 2:09pm
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      • Op. Pls see above. Did you find that the inattentiveness escalated as he got older? When was he diagnosed and did her or does he take meds? Tia 5-23-2016 2:09pm
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    • I have an 18 year old with adhd combined. hes been on meds since he was 9. they only work well for a few years at best before we need to switch them up 5-23-2016 3:09pm
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      • Op. Thanks. Switch them up how? Do you mean try new meds or just new dosage? Tia 5-23-2016 3:19pm
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        • Dose and sometimes new meds. They get used to a certain dose so sometimes you need to raise it or change the med 5-23-2016 3:58pm
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    • Mine is ADHD but not hyper - He's more impulsive and that's where the H comes in. 5-23-2016 3:58pm
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    • In my DD's case, I would say that her inattention became more obvious when she got older as the work got much harder. She was diagnosed at age 7, started meds at age 9 and...(more) 10 hr 53 min ago
      received accommodations in school in 8th grade.
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      • Op. Thanks. Did you increase the dose in 8th or was the only change the accommodations? Is she in 8th or high school now? Tia 6 hr 40 min ago
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  17. Special Needs DC at NPS. We got notice a number of months ago that we needed to sign a consent form for re-evaluation (he has RSAs but is in a mainstream school). I sent the form in (took me...(more) 5-23-2016 1:00pm (1 reply)
    a few weeks) and have since heard nothing. What is the deadline that they have to do this re-evaluation? I haven't heard about an IEP meeting either? Happy to skip the re-evaluation and have DC keep all services, so what should I do?
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    • Call Include 15 hr 17 min ago
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  18. Special Needs Sorry this is slightly off-topic, but can you recommend someone who does executive function coaching for adults in the NYC area? TIA! 5-23-2016 11:47am (1 reply)
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    • Personally, no. But I believe there was a directory on either CHADD or ADDitudesmagazine.com 5-23-2016 11:50am
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  19. Special Needs Just had WW parent meeting for dc. Do they always ask if you would like to move forward to see if they have the right placement for dc? Was one of hoping to...(more) 5-23-2016 10:48am (10 replies)
    Be over the admission hurdle by now.
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    • clarify....your child was at windward for the 2 day and you had the meeting and then they asked YOU if you wanted to move forward? 5-23-2016 10:59am
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      • Yes, they asked us where else we applied. DC is at a later grade....(more) 5-23-2016 11:16am
        DC needs more remediation than they are used to.
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        • I see. Typically they say one of two things....either, "we love her and will send you a contract in a week or so," or, "we love her but we are not sure we'll have a group for...(more) 5-23-2016 11:27am
          her, and we'll let you know in a few weeks." sometimes they add, "call me before you have to sign another contract" as they did for us (ds ended up there for 4 years). I have never heard of them asking a parent for any kind of guidance or feedback, bc they think they know evertything. :) anyway, it's a good sign....obviously they think they can accommodate her if they are asking YOU what to do. They want to know if you're committed elsewhere, or if you'll come to WW if they find her a spot.
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          • Okay, so we are in the second camp. Don't have another viable option, no matter what exh thinks. This process is hard enough. Add ex-spousal agreements and it's excruciatingly...(more) 5-23-2016 11:36am
            difficult. Thanks so much.
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            • good luck! 5-23-2016 11:43am
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        • what do you mean by dc needs more remediation than they are used to?...(more) 5-23-2016 12:18pm
          my ds is starting there next year and I think they felt this way about him too. So I am curious what kind of kid you have (np)
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          • Np, I was a windward parent and please do not think that any accepted kid needs more remediation that they are used to. Kids come in at 4th grade unable to read at all and they...(more) 5-23-2016 4:09pm
            Not able to read at all and that is a normal occurrence there. I think ere is this undeserved "mystique" about windward, but it's still special Ed, no matter how you slice it.
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            • Thanks. My ds' add is pretty strong even on meds. They accepted him but had some "concerns". 5-23-2016 6:17pm
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              • they say that about everyone. don't get sucked in to Windward being the Harvard of special needs schools. It's special ed. 16 hr 9 min ago
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  20. Special Needs How to reconvene CSE meeting due to school change?...(more) 5-23-2016 10:37am (10 replies)
    We have been on the fence between public and private MS school. Finally, we decided to go private MS. The next step is to reconvene the CSE meeting. What shall I do: call the local public school's special education team who met with us the first time or write a letter to the CSE chairperson to formally request a meeting? Please advise. TIA!
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    • when is your annual review? 5-23-2016 10:38am
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      • In March this year, we just had our first CSE meeting (the turning 5 one). 5-23-2016 10:40am
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        • I see. And what did you get that needs changing? 5-23-2016 10:41am
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          • The service location: in public school everything is done at the school; at private school, which I presume they are not obligated to do anything, I have to get a RSA and...(more) 5-23-2016 10:43am
            do the schlepping to various offices myself.
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            • Well--sort of. My kids have been in a couple of private schools, and some manage services on-site. Others do nothing. 5-23-2016 10:45am
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              • Then how did you get the RSA? Just call the team who already met you at the IEP meeting or write a letter? 5-23-2016 10:46am
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                • I would write a letter. I have had to sign off on a thing every year stating that I've placed my child in a private school that I pay for. But my kids have always been in private,...(more) 5-23-2016 10:48am
                  so there was no transition.
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        • from Advocates for Children Turning 5 Guide - You must request special education services in writing to the district Committee on Special Education (CSE) by June 1st before the...(more) 5-23-2016 10:49am
          school year for which you want services. The CSE will work with you to
          develop an Individualized Education Services Plan (IESP), which will take the place of the IEP. - http://www.advocatesforchildren.org/sites/default/files/library/turning_5_guide.pdf?pt=1
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        • you need to change the IEP to an IESP - contact CSE with a letter and contact your team as well 5-23-2016 10:50am
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      • Thank you all for the response! The link is very helpful! This community is priceless! 5-23-2016 11:10am
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  21. Special Needs 7yo with dyslexia and executive function issues...(more) 5-22-2016 11:27pm (13 replies)
    We were just diagnosed and given a recommendation to go to private school starting next year. So many questions. Any chance of getting in for next September (for 2nd grade)? - she is otherwise bright, no behavior issues. Anywhere else we should contact besides Gaynor, Windward, Churchill, MMFS, Gateway? Is one better then the other for the EF issues? What is is like socially to have a child at a school so far away - we are in Brooklyn - she is so happy at her local school, I can't imagine the commute and trying to make friends.
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    • if she is happy and things are going well now, why change? 5-22-2016 11:28pm
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      • ^^^or do you foresee problems as school gets a bit harder? 5-22-2016 11:29pm
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        • - no subject -...(more) 5-22-2016 11:37pm
          yeah, the hope is to get her someplace more supportive before she gets even further behind, and before she starts to dislike school. She could get by for another year or 2, but even now she is commenting that she is 'embarrassed' that she is the only kid not reading chapter books.
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          • MMFS is in Brooklyn but I'd also look at Windward Manhattan if they have a second grade. 5-22-2016 11:41pm
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            • This. Windward Manhattan might have room, since they are opening a new Manhattan campus next year. Good luck. 5-23-2016 12:01am
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              • we were in same posiition last year but a month or so earlier. Dd started at Windward this year for 2nd grade and it's been great, though the commute, expense etc is definitely...(more) 5-23-2016 5:58am
                considerable. We are in Bklyn but she was going to White Plains campus bc the new Manhattan school didn't have 2nd grade last year. It does this year but I don't know if it's full or not yet. Manhattan or White Plains are doable though hard logistically/fiinancially. worth every bit of trouble in our opinion. In terms of friends, she was devastated to leave as she was still happy in ps, but she made new friends in a heartbeat and is extremely happy there and now a bit sad to be moving to Manhattan. I know her sefl-confdence and our relationship would have tanked this year if she hadn't moved.Dd said they had a "visitor" last week still so at least someone's still interviewing. Last year when I taled to MMFS they seemed to be more rolling admissions. In April last year Churchill annd Gaynor were almost done with admissions but you never know - worth calling and talking. There are less girls at this age so maybe a bit easier than boys?
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          • if she can stay put another year you can send her to windward manhatten for 3rd grade. they start in 3rd in NYC. 5-23-2016 12:20pm
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            • check with windward re 2nd grade. This year ww manhattan started in 3rd grade bc it was new but the plan is to expand each year and they were supposed to have 2nd starting next...(more) 5-23-2016 2:52pm
              year.
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            • Fwiw starting in 3rd was just this year. Next year 2-7, following year 1-9 just like westchester. 43 min ago
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          • Just to play devil's advocate, your dd is not the only kid not reading chapter books at the end of first grade 5-23-2016 4:26pm
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            • agree. If she clearly has issues beyond that through the NP exam, then of course. But My DS could barely read anything until 2nd and became an excellent student. However, we had...(more) 5-23-2016 7:50pm
              no other reason to think he had academic issues.
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    • If your child needs it, it's totally worth it. We moved DD to MMFS in 3rd grade and it was absolutely the right choice. We got in in early May, so if you're interested give the...(more) 5-23-2016 11:45am
      admissions office a call and ask. That said, no matter how wonderful the neuropsych was, they've spent 2 or 3 days with your kids and you've spent 7 years. I think you should trust your gut about whether it makes sense to move now or wait.
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    • We have a lot of Brooklyn kids that go to Churchill. They make new friends and keep some of the old ones too. 5-23-2016 9:41pm
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  22. Special Needs Started 8yo dd on concerta and she seems to be doing okay yet she has these bursts of anger. Yesterday and today. First and second day. Is this something that might go away or no?...(more) 5-22-2016 10:07pm (8 replies)
    Is it just how she is on the medication? Give it a few more days? We've never done a stimulant medication before. Thank you.
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    • Is it when it's wearing off? The crash from stimulants was brutal for my dr! 5-22-2016 10:14pm
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      • ^^dd 5-22-2016 10:14pm
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        • oh, sorry, I had to go away....no, it isn't just when it is wearing off. But, thanks for asking 5-22-2016 10:27pm
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    • It 5-22-2016 10:34pm
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    • I think anger is side effect 5-22-2016 10:34pm
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      • Do you think we should keep on it a few more days? Or do you think we should try a new/different kind? Any thoughts are appreciated. 5-22-2016 10:35pm
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        • I'd stick with it. I have adhd and starting a new med is terrible, then my body adjusts and I can barely tell I'm taking anything. 5-22-2016 11:56pm
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    • Anger and irritability were a side effect for my dc. We stopped it. It was scary for the whole family 5-23-2016 8:27am
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  23. Special Needs NYC Moms - anyone use an Executive Function Coach? Dd's neuro psych recommended looking into it 5-22-2016 10:00pm (12 replies)
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    • No 5-22-2016 10:01pm
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    • have you been doing c.b.t. - it has the same effect. working on behaviors that affect daily E.F 5-22-2016 10:02pm
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      • she has a therapist provided by the DOE. I can ask her about that. 5-22-2016 10:03pm
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        • Why? Odd 5-22-2016 10:05pm
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          • why what? 5-22-2016 10:06pm
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            • To ask about it 5-22-2016 10:07pm
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              • whenever dd goes to the therapist - they are doing art based therapy. it doesn't seem as if they are doing anything for her EF 5-22-2016 10:09pm
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        • Hmmmmmmmm 5-22-2016 10:05pm
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          • what do you mean? 5-22-2016 10:06pm
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        • spring for the CBT therapist - you have to pay out of pocket or find one through your own insurance 5-22-2016 10:07pm
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          • Thanks - I will look into this. I was going to pay for the Executive Function Coach but I don't really know what that is! The man the neuro psych recommended seems to only do...(more) 5-22-2016 10:08pm
            speech therapy. I will work on finding her the right person
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    • Be careful. There are some ripoffs out there. Promise but don't deliver. I know someone...(more) 5-23-2016 8:21am
      who paid a fortune and the kid got worse. NYC by the way
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  24. Special Needs BTDT moms- how do you work on abstract thinking with your HFA child? 5-22-2016 8:56pm (20 replies)
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    • I feel for you, sweetie 5-22-2016 8:56pm
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      • It is so frustrating 5-22-2016 8:58pm
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        • That's life. Everything blows 5-22-2016 9:04pm
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          • Well with that lovely attitude... 5-22-2016 9:05pm
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            • Lol sorry I hate life right now 5-22-2016 9:06pm
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              • Sorry - we all have our moments! What is going on? 5-22-2016 9:06pm
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                • Bad transition period, not SN-related. Best of luck though (if you're OP) - we'll all get through it! 5-22-2016 9:07pm
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                  • Same to you! 5-22-2016 9:07pm
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    • Please. I tried, and failed. I wish I had answers. I have a tutor for him, but I'm not sure she helps. 5-22-2016 8:56pm
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      • How did you find her and what is her backgrounder 5-22-2016 8:59pm
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        • She's a reading comp tutor who works on abstract thinking with him along with reading comp. 5-22-2016 9:01pm
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          • Where did you find her? 5-22-2016 9:04pm
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          • Np. Since many ASD kids are visual learners, how about teaching him through watching movies with abstract interpretations and discussing them? 5-22-2016 10:05pm
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            • He can do it when he sees it (like with movies). Much harder when reading because you have hold the words in your head and develop images. 5-23-2016 6:42pm
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    • you cant really. It's pure neurological development and you can't push it to happen. They might learn to give you the right answer but they don't really get it. 5-22-2016 9:03pm
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      • There are definitely methods to help. A lot of it is organizing thoughts 5-22-2016 9:04pm
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        • you can organize thoughts all you want but the math isn't there to add them together 5-22-2016 9:11pm
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          • Do you even have a kid with HFA? Because I don't think you really know what you are talking about 5-22-2016 9:13pm
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          • Np: what does this even mean?? 5-22-2016 9:14pm
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      • np: ITA. 5-23-2016 7:52pm
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  25. Special Needs Going back and looking at my ds' progress, he was totally at grade level until about January of 1st grade, around february the teachers mentioned he was falling behind a bit. We...(more) 5-22-2016 6:52pm (19 replies)
    are now at the end of 2nd grade and he is getting further and further behind, even with tutoring. He was diagnosed with ADD inattentive and slow processing speed, but why would he seem 'fine' and then fall off of a cliff over the past 16 months? Maybe this is how it typically presents but its all still so mystifying to me.
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    • keep on top of it. school gets really fast-paced at the 3rd grade level in most districts. keep tutoring up this summer. 5-22-2016 6:53pm
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      • yes i know. we have him doing a lot this summer but i am still trying to figure out how he went from 'totally fine' to 'way below grade level' in a year 5-22-2016 6:55pm
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    • Is the tutoring specific 5-22-2016 6:55pm
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    • It we always there, just not obvious bec he was behaved well. When the work get challenging...(more) 5-22-2016 6:55pm
      it became obvious there was a problem. Get a second opinion on LDs & processing issues bec the ADHD, inattentive or hyper, is often a cop out.
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      • i guess you are right. Do you think? I think the processing is right, i do question the inattentive. Do you think he's slow processing with dyslexia/dyscalculia? You seem well...(more) 5-22-2016 6:56pm
        versed in my situation
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        • I really don't know. I'm a fan of second opinions based on a lot of anecdata....(more) 5-22-2016 7:06pm
          It's so much easier to deal with stuff now, before middle school. be as aggressive as you can afford to be. Consider a summer program with teachers who know how to assess kids & tailor instruction. Not the work sheet, scripted academics but real engagement. A DF's child got a lot out of a summer program at LD school. Very expensive tho. Eagle hill.
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          • ^keep asking on here. There are a lt of knowledgeable moms. Look at what the fancy specialized...(more) 5-22-2016 7:09pm
            schools do so you can get an idea what's out there. Your kid is not stupid. It is important that you really believe that. He is still developing & if he gets the right help he can more than make up for any difficulties. It's important he like learning. School shouldn't be hell. Look at Rick Lavoie. His stuff is geared more toward kids with severe deficits but it applies to anyone who isn't easy to teach.
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            • thank you, I wish I could take you to coffee IRL and chat, you would be so helpful I think. I have never heard of Rick Lavoie but I will look into him, and get a 2nd opinion this...(more) 5-22-2016 7:48pm
              summer....
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    • Sorry, that really blows 5-22-2016 6:57pm
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      • thanks. Dh and I have been intermittently a wreck about it certainly for the last 6 months 5-22-2016 6:58pm
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        • Don't fret, your son is still a healthy young man 5-22-2016 6:59pm
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    • Because until then, they'd only had the first few months of school to observe him (it's hard to fall behind in kindergarten) and it ramps up later in the year. It's not as if he...(more) 5-22-2016 6:58pm
      was at grade level for very long.
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    • kids issues are caught at stages infant/toddler, preschool or at end of 2d/3D grade. Well behaved kids who are...(more) 5-22-2016 6:59pm
      bright slip through the cracks.
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    • 16 months is a long time. The work gets harder and now his challenges are making it tougher to keep up. 5-22-2016 8:54pm
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    • The work is not very hard in K. Now it is getting harder so he is falling behind. 5-22-2016 8:55pm
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    • that is my dd - she was diagnosed in 4th grade but same diagnosis as your son. do you think its the big class size? i feel like dd does ok with one on one instruction. 5-22-2016 9:03pm
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      • Get an educational psych eval--I have used Salsberg but there are plenty of good ones. 5-22-2016 10:10pm
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        • This can be very normal course with learnimg disabilities--you need a good eval to see what is going on--iy will all be okay!! 5-22-2016 10:19pm
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    • Interesting, my dd is dxed with ADHD inattentive and slow processing, she was more behind starting K (very weak fine motor, especially) and was still quite behind in learning to...(more) 5-23-2016 4:29pm
      read through first grade. Only in second has she started to catch up with fine motor skills and reading. Math has always been OK
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