Special Needs

  1. Special Needs I am looking for a psychologist for my 9yo son who, I think, is suffering from depression and anxiety. I am in NYC, upper west side. Any suggestions? 3 hr 28 min ago (8 replies)
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    • no suggestions but I am sorry. My 8yo has major anxiety and maybe depression and it took us months to find someone that took our insurance and could see her quickly. She has been...(more) 3 hr 25 min ago
      in therapy 8 months now and it has helped. Now the therapist is leaving the area but luckily she was able to find someone she trusts to take her patients. Good luck. It can be hard but it will make a difference
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      • Glad to hear your daughter is making progress. I feel a bit adrift and don't really know where to start. He is such a sweet boy but tells me that he is sad for no reason at...(more) 3 hr 18 min ago
        times and he cries at the smallest things. Hopefully we will find the right person..
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        • Sounds much like my DD. Though I think part of the issue is she is dyslexic and struggling at school last year. We have her in a better school for this year. One thing that has...(more) 3 hr 11 min ago
          helped my daughter is to let her know she is not the only one who feels sad sometimes and it is ok to be sad (but not mean or rude). And don't minimize his feelings - just be there to talk to him. My DD wanted to find someone to talk to that wasn't mom or dad. I think a 3rd party has been very helpful
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    • Still there?...(more) 3 hr 8 min ago
      Try Stephanie Nichols, Ph.D. ,Union Sq W. 917.968.8074
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      • Also...(more) 3 hr 8 min ago
        Seth Aronson, PsyD on CPW
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        • THx!! 3 hr 3 min ago
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          • GL. im a psychologist and these two are terrific 3 hr ago
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    • Hi OP, my son started seeing dr. Alexandra Degeorge a few months ago and he's doing so much better. She's currently on 57th st and 6th avenue but August 1st will have a new office...(more) 22 min ago
      In west 80s!
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  2. Special Needs How long does the dyspraxia dx hold until? Is it better to have another dx for K? 5 hr 38 min ago (18 replies)
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    • I would think about what services you want to obtain and work backwards from there. Dyspraxia worked fine for us for K because all we needed was OT and PT, but if your dc's needs...(more) 5 hr 36 min ago
      are more intense and affect education more, it may be a very good idea to evaluate more comprehensively and potentially get a different dx.
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      • We should probably do an educational one. He's not very verbal yet at 4, so we need speech, pt, ot. Not sure if he can handle a regular ed curriculum at the moment. 5 hr 35 min ago
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        • Yes if he is language delayed and may have other delays I strongly recommend more comprehensive testing. If you are in NYC, a lot of people do neuropsychological testing to help...(more) 5 hr 34 min ago
          them figure out the K transition.
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          • Yep in NYC, and I've seen some praised people on the board but I really don't want to pay 5k for an evaluation. 5 hr 30 min ago
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            • np: honestly i'd reach out early to the DOE/CSE people and try to get their eval done early enough that you could do another if you had to, but not just as a matter of course. for...(more) 5 hr 25 min ago
              K the dx will matter less than educational needs.
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              • I got the feeling there needed to be a dx for services in K and up. That's what I got from his speech therapist, of course he should have another workup for educational purposes...(more) 5 hr 22 min ago
                Too.
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                • A dx always helps NYC take you more seriously. It's not necessary if the educational needs are very obvious but it sure does help. 5 hr 20 min ago
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                  • Oh ok. He has dyspraxia as a catch all dx because nothing else fit. 5 hr 19 min ago
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                    • What kind of preschool services does he get/what kind of preschool does he attend? 5 hr 18 min ago
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                      • One that takes a wide variety of kids. He gets pt, ot, speech and therapeutic play. 5 hr 15 min ago
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                        • Is it a CPSE center-based preschool, or a mainstream preschool where he gets SEIT support? I ask because if it's the former they will give you much more guidance for the turning 5...(more) 5 hr 12 min ago
                          process.
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                          • Cpse. Maybe I'm not asking enough questions because no one has mentioned K. He just turned 4 in March so maybe they think he has more time. 5 hr 11 min ago
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                            • Yeah, it doesn't start for real until the fall but you can ask them something like "Where have kids with profiles like my son's gone on to kindergarten? What kinds of classrooms?...(more) 5 hr 9 min ago
                              What kind of evaluations did they get and when? Did they need dxes in order to get what they needed through the DOE?"
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                              • Thank you. You put it into perspective. 5 hr 7 min ago
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            • Doing the NP eval this year or next could be the best money you will ever spend. Your dc could end up in a school/program that will meet his needs, include the therapies Eric...(more) 5 hr 10 min ago
              that he needs and it will all be paid for. Getting that kind of support now could make all the difference for what his options are in the next several years. GL
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    • My DS had an apraxia/dyspraxia diagnosis at 2.5 and is about to enter kindergarten. CSE gave him the "speech" classification and he will be getting ST and OT in a MS public...(more) 3 hr 45 min ago
      elementary school here in the city. We never did the neuropsych route because we were comfortable with him going to his zoned school with related services. We think he is on the very mild end of the dx at this point.
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      • np: Mine has a "working dx" of dyspraxia/apraxia. He's going into 1st, gets ST/OT/PT and adaptive phys ed. in a specialized self-contained class at our neighborhood school in...(more) 3 hr 33 min ago
        NYC. It's working great. T5 went well with support from our CPSE preschool without a formal np.
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  3. Special Needs Why does everyone love salsberg so much? what does he do/get that is so above and beyond? 6 hr 30 min ago (11 replies)
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    • He is extremely intuitive, understands kids very quickly, knows the schools, writes very good reports, advocates and testifies VERY well. He's the whole package for us. 6 hr 28 min ago
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      • ITA - AND the DOE respects his opinion. Merely having his name on the report was a game changer for us 3 hr 10 min ago
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    • Don't know him but loved Dorta fwiw 6 hr 26 min ago
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      • Why does he never dx ASD? 6 hr 4 min ago
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        • This, I get the impression he's the reverse of many other np's, who also dislike dual diagnoses but will diagnose ASD if both ASD and ADHD traits are present. While Salsberg will...(more) 3 hr 32 min ago
          diagnose ADHD only if traits of both are present.
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          • np: he's working in the nyc system and some schools want specific classifications, he gives the dx that he feels will get that child into that school. That criteria is different...(more) 3 hr 28 min ago
            from the DSM
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            • Ah. When we got an np, I was more interested in figuring out what was going on with my kid than in private school placement. 3 hr 13 min ago
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              • He gives all that too, it's in the report. He just knows the nyc schools and what they want in their reports which is highly regarded. 3 hr 9 min ago
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    • b/c he knows the nyc sn private special ed system and culture and has a proven track record of placing kids well in it. If you don't need that then there are other great nps out...(more) 4 hr 25 min ago
      there.
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    • Because there are several very active participants to this board who have had good experiences with him and they shout his praises to the rooftops. I have a friend at a very...(more) 2 hr 52 min ago
      selective special ed. school in the city who said they accept kids DESPITE his reports, which they find are very cookie cutter.
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    • If u have doubts about salsberg try Janine pollack - amazing. Brooklyn heights but well worth the trip :) 20 min ago
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  4. Special Needs Neuropsych recommendation for 10 yo ds with writing and attention issues. In NYC private school so looking for someone who can make recommendations likely to be implemented in...(more) 6 hr 53 min ago (13 replies)
    that environment.
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    • Recommendation for….? 6 hr 53 min ago
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      • ^tutoring? 6 hr 53 min ago
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      • For a neuropsych, she said in her OP 6 hr 53 min ago
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    • David Salsberg 6 hr 53 min ago
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    • My dc is in a nyc private, I saw two people, Alicia Webb-Scott and Ellen Farber. I recommend AWS - saw her twice now (dc is now a teen) 6 hr 52 min ago
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      • OP--i just did my revalaution with saldberg and I think the office is quite good. David does not directly do testing but observes during testing. He is om point with...(more) 6 hr 50 min ago
        schools--recommended 2 a few years ago--accepted at one and waitlisted for the other and my child is great!!
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        • Well, if you are happy, see him. 6 hr 47 min ago
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          • that's another poster, not OP 6 hr 45 min ago
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        • Are you the OP? 6 hr 47 min ago
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          • no -- I'm the OP and ds has never been tested 6 hr 45 min ago
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            • I second Salsberg, he has been great for my dc 6 hr 45 min ago
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        • I really hate this idea. 6 hr 45 min ago
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    • Janine pollack. 19 min ago
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  5. Special Needs I just need to vent and get support this morning...yesterday my almost 5 year old ds was on his scooter coming home from camp with the babysitter and his twin sister. He scooted...(more) 9 hr 35 min ago (34 replies)
    ahead of them and turned a corner. He ended up crossing a street and going to the playground (where they were headed). The babysitter was obviously terrified and didn't know where he was until another babysitter at the playground called her to say that he had come in by himself. I considered firing the babysitter, but I know it's something that she couldn't have predicted. He's a speed demon sometimes, but he's never done anything like that. But he's impulsive and he honestly didn't know why he did it or even that it was so dangerous. He's clearly pre-ADHD, SPD, and has impulse issues. No scooter for school for a while, but how else do I talk about this with him? He's super defensive about it, and now mad that he can't have the scooter. Sorry for long post. I didn't get much sleep last night, I was thinking about it all night.
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    • fine, he lost his scooter for X time. If he wants it at the park, the nanny brings it along. He is no longer allowed to scoot there till he can follow directions. FWIW, he may not...(more) 9 hr 34 min ago
      be ADHD, he may just be an active 5yo. BTDT
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      • Thanks. He is an active 5 year old, but he's always been more impulsive and dangerous than other kids his age, at all ages. It's something I've kind of come to terms with, but...(more) 9 hr 28 min ago
        it's so so hard sometimes.
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        • Then really, no scooter except in parks, playgrounds, etc/ 8 hr 25 min ago
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    • If ds ever crossed the street without me I'd yell at him and impress on him that a car could hit him and he could die 9 hr 33 min ago
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      • I did that last night when I came home. I was very upset. So he's sufficiently scared and shamed by the whole thing. But the hard part is that he wasn't in complete control and...(more) 9 hr 27 min ago
        doesn't think before he acts sometimes
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    • BTDT. This is scary - but mostly for HIM. Now, he is scared AND ashamed. I would give him a definite time limit for loss of scooter and help him come up with a way to be safer....(more) 9 hr 31 min ago
      Give him control in the process - signals and clues at each corner, special words to say when it is safe to scross, etc. This is something that NT and SN kids do, but SN kids need super-clear guidelines and role play. Don't fire nanny over it, but make her part of the process as well....
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      • This is excellent advice 9 hr 26 min ago
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      • yes, thanks this is very helpful. I'm just not sure if having the scooters is a good idea with the babysitter...I feel really conflicted. Has anyone else had two kids, one adult,...(more) 9 hr 24 min ago
        and scooters (with one child who is unpredictable and needs a lot of rules)?
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        • Yes, I have a daredevil 4yo and a slower 6yo, the 4yo always races ahead. He always stops at corners though. Once he went around a corner by himself and lost the scooter for the...(more) 9 hr 23 min ago
          day, he hasn't since then
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          • This is exactly what I've done. He has always stopped at corners too. I'm just so beside myself that he did this. I've taken the scooters away for a day before too... 9 hr 21 min ago
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        • yes. dont be so overprotective. if u can do it, she can 9 hr 23 min ago
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          • does OP regularly do after-school pick-up? kids are different for special parent times than they are in their comfort zone of regular sitter 8 hr 25 min ago
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        • I have an ASD 4-year-old. No way could he have a scooter with his sitter and sister. For us, scooters are for the park or one child, one adult. 8 hr 27 min ago
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    • honestly - no punishment. teach him how to cross the street and fyi, he should walk the scooter across bc he is little and zipping out at the light when someone is making a turn...(more) 9 hr 26 min ago
      is dangerous.
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      • The hardest part of all of this is that we've been working on rules and we have them...he knows the rules! We tell him all the time. But one thing we've been letting him do is...(more) 9 hr 22 min ago
        scoot across the street next to us. I'm blaming myself for giving him that leeway. Now I have to take it back.
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        • Yes you do, and that's okay, because he has shown he's not ready for it yet. That's normal and expected, this is natural consequences. He has to earn that back by showing that he...(more) 9 hr 21 min ago
          can be consistently safe and thoughtful.
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    • OP here again...the bigger picture for me is this feeling that my kid is not manageable and that he's a major challenge for any caregiver. That is a bad feeling. Just needed to...(more) 9 hr 19 min ago
      put that feeling out there too.
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      • Did your nanny make you feel that way? 9 hr 19 min ago
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        • A little I guess. I don't think she's dealt with this before, and she's a little taken aback. That's why I've considered letting her go. But I want to work on this with her be...(more) 9 hr 16 min ago
          taking that step. Our previous babysitter also loved ds, but I think she was constantly terrified that he would do something dangerous. Like she was scared to take him in the subway. Part of it is the twin thing- the babysitter has two kids to take care of so they can't go running after ds when dd is with them.
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          • One of the things you can do is reassure your nanny that you understand that ds requires a lot of attention. Talk about strategies that are successful. She may be giving off...(more) 9 hr 14 min ago
            anxiety because she is thinking that he's going to do something (like scoot away) and she'll lose her job. If you trust her as a caregiver, work with her on tools to keep your ds safe and she will be empowered and feel more secure.
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            • ^And give her room to say "I don't feel like I can handle him on his scooter." If she says that, your way is clear: scooter is for with mom, not nanny. 9 hr 13 min ago
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      • Does the nanny seem like she is overwhelmed, or is this coming from you? 9 hr 17 min ago
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        • She seems a little overwhelmed, yes. Most of it is about the scooter- the times we have talked about the scooter are when she seems most overwhelmed. Maybe that's why my impulse...(more) 9 hr 14 min ago
          is to say no more scooter after school. After school is when he's most hyper, impulsive, sensory seeking, etc., so that's part of this picture too.
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      • You may need to accept that your ds IS a bigger challenge for any sitter and minimize the things that are triggers for impulsive and potentially dangerous behavior. 8 hr 26 min ago
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        • yes, this is what I'm coming to terms with. This situation really highlights that. My thinking is that we can try again with the commuting on scooters next spring. 8 hr 22 min ago
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          • Yes. Tell him something like "My job is to keep you safe and that means making decisions on things like car seats, swimming, and when it's okay to use your scooter. For now we're...(more) 8 hr 20 min ago
            going to go back to using the scooter in the park away from cars."
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    • I have a 6 yo with SPD--He is not allowed to ride his bike or scooter on the street at all, because I don't trust him not to impulsively dash into a street. He has to walk it...(more) 8 hr 43 min ago
      there, and can only get on and ride at the park or playground.
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      • Thanks. did you try teaching him and just decide that he couldn't do it? I'm a little confused about how to gauge whether he's trainable at this age... 8 hr 27 min ago
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        • That he did this today says to me that he is not ready for that responsibility. 8 hr 26 min ago
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        • Mine is clumsy also (his SPD is due to a motor disorder), so no riding on the street/sidewalk has always been a rule for us b/c he's pretty accident prone. 8 hr 18 min ago
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    • My do is a teen now but has pretty significant ADHD and he was extremely impulsive at that age. We played a lot of running and stopping games to teach him to stop when I yell...(more) 7 hr 14 min ago
      feeze. It took a very long time but I. Do believe those kind of games helped. He should not be allowed to ride a scooter in the street or even run ahead u til he can control himself. Not as a punishment but as a safety precaution. Let him scoot in the park
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    • Very scary, but if you know he is this way, prone to impulsivity, speed demon, etc.; why on earth are you allowing him to use a scooter on the street? 3 hr 8 min ago
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      • ^^and I should add that I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm sure you're very upset. I just find erring on the side of caution with a child like this has served me very well...(more) 3 hr 3 min ago
        to this point. (knock on wood)
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  6. Special Needs Ugh. Maybe eight years ago I got a call from a guy that said he knew dh, left his number for dh to call. Dh didn't remember him, called him, still didn't remember much about him...(more) 10 hr 22 min ago (6 replies)
    except the guy had sort of creeped him out at the time. He called again soon after, I think, and left a message, dh didn't call back. The guy just called again! Seriously, eight years later. I recognized his name and said, "What can I help you with?" He's this weird sort of overly friendly and said, "Well, I called before and got the same feeling that there was something difficult about my request. Do you at least know [dh]? Is there another number I can call him at? He didn't call me back last time." Ugh. I took his number, texted dh and was like, that's the same guy, right? And dh said, Yeah. That's him. I don't know him, and yeah, he's a weirdo. He lives in another state, but it's creepy! And I'm sure I was guarded on the phone, bc the guy freaks me out!
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    • weird. can you figure out anything about him online? 10 hr 21 min ago
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      • op looking him up now 10 hr 21 min ago
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    • Talk to dh. Maybe this is a guy from his past that he'd hoped to avoid?? 10 hr 21 min ago
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    • strange. 10 hr 20 min ago
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    • maybe a sibling that he's not aware of 10 hr 14 min ago
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    • why didn't he just call him back 8 years ago and find out what he wanted. 3 hr 46 min ago
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  7. Special Needs 8yo dd hates loud noises. This morning our smoke alarm went on because of a steamy shower, and she plugged her ears and just kept yelling for me from downstairs while I reset it....(more) 10 hr 26 min ago (2 replies)
    She couldn't hear me calling back that everything was fine. She's a sensory kid, but OT is helping with most of it. Is this something she could grow out of or get used to? I'll talk to her about it, because in a real emergency if she's there with her ears plugged she could miss important information
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    • My ds is 11yo and hates this still. He is able to tolerate it more and more though 10 hr 25 min ago
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    • Listening therapy through OT helped my son so much 18 min ago
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  8. Special Needs Went to hear a speaker tonight (brought by our school district) and she...(more) 21 hr 5 min ago (5 replies)
    basically said she doesn't believe in ADHD for kids who test as gifted. I have to say I don't agree with her but she did mention a book that gets good reviews on Amazon. Anyone familiar with "Back to Normal?" http://www.amazon.com/Back-Normal-Ordinary-Childhood-Behavior/dp/0807061158
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    • That pisses me off. What are her credentials? Does she think that bright kids with ADHD are what, faking it? 21 hr 2 min ago
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      • I agree re: her credentials. She basically said that our kids are fine the way they are...(more) 21 hr ago
        (her focus was GT kids) and that the problem is school. She did backtrack a bit and say that if your dc had to take medication then you should go to a psychiatrist (rather than a pediatrician) and make sure your dc gets behavioral therapy.
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        • She doesn't sound like an authority figure I would spend any time listening to. I get that school can be made more friendly to fidgety kids but if she really understands kids with...(more) 20 hr 52 min ago
          significant and chronic attention challenges she won't be cavalier. So that makes me think she doesn't really know any. Maybe she has a fidgety kid she feels was unfairly singled out.
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    • I haven't read the book and can't speak to whether she might have keen insights or not -- but I agree that plenty of normal childhood behavior is now being pathologized. I think...(more) 12 hr 52 min ago
      our expectations of children have become WAY out of whack, especially in the schools.
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      • Agree. Of course there is true adhd, but in our school many, many kids had adhd diagnoses in early grades and many of those kids "no longer adhd" in middle school. ADHD doesn't go...(more) 5 hr 14 min ago
        away -the hyperactive part often does but not the true executive functioning issues. Being hyperactive alone is not adhd but if the meds help I have no problem with it.
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  9. Special Needs Neuropsych for possible dysgraphia and adhd?...(more) 21 hr 43 min ago (6 replies)
    Can anyone recommend a neuropsych for a 10 yo boy who might have dysgraphia and adhd?
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    • Where? 21 hr 42 min ago
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    • NYC- Joshua Srebnick 21 hr 41 min ago
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    • If you are near Durham: Kelly Anthony 21 hr 37 min ago
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      • Takes insurance too!! 21 hr 36 min ago
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    • Any social or behavioral issues with that? (Wondering, because dysgraphia and adhd-like behavioral traits are common comorbids for AS) 12 hr 3 min ago
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    • David Salsberg 11 hr 44 min ago
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  10. Special Needs Repost from yday's discussion on 1:1 absence (school says DS won't be allowed in the building if 1:1 is absent? Even with notice)...(more) 7-28-2015 7:49pm (13 replies)
    Our lawyer said "it sucks and it's ridiculous and it's not strictly legal but there isn't anything we can do abt it if that is the school's policy." This is a 100% govt-funded school. Wait, even the person I PAY A TON OF MONEY TO SO THAT SHE CAN DEFEND MY SON'S LEGAL RIGHTS EVEN WHEN THEY ATE INCONVENIENT is telling me to stand down? There has to be more to this...right?
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    • the school needs to provide a sub. 7-28-2015 7:49pm
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      • Op agreed but I seem to be the only person in the universe who thinks that is their legal obligation 7-28-2015 7:50pm
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        • file a complaint with the state 7-28-2015 7:52pm
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          • Op that's not a bad idea actually. With whom? Any ideas? Thx! 7-28-2015 7:53pm
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            • I'm in Arizona, but we have a division of civil rights within our department of education. 7-28-2015 7:54pm
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              • Ah cool- ok thanks will research tomorrow. Crazy that getting more useful advice from strangers in AZ on the interwebz than from a lawyer.... 7-28-2015 7:55pm
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    • While I agree that it is awful and rightly illegal and would make me want to seek changes to laws, state enforcement and regulation I'm not sure it's the hill I would choose to...(more) 23 hr 15 min ago
      die on. I would have a discussion with the school about how they would handle it if dc's 1:1 became suddenly ill or left her job with little notice. But don't get me wrong - I would be pissed.
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    • Obviously your lawyer is not a fighter. 23 hr 12 min ago
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      • Replay the facts. Your child has a 1 to 1 para all day and para needs to be out so your child cannot go to school. Is this an ESY program. Go to Wrights law and research it...(more) 22 hr 28 min ago
        because it does sound illegal. What if para is out for 2 weeks suddenly. Why is it okay according to your lawyer?
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    • Call the ADA or your States dept of Justice. They are not providing a reasonable accommodation and that affects your disabled child's civil rights 21 hr 36 min ago
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      • ^^in NJ if you file a civil rights complaint with the DOJ, they investigate every claim 21 hr 35 min ago
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    • If you are in NYC, try contacting the Public Advocate's office. They lit some serious fires under people's butts when school was trying to essentially punish ds for acting...(more) 13 hr 5 min ago
      spectrummy.
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  11. Special Needs Help, 4 yo dyspraxic child keeps falling. PT doesn't think its abnormal.Anyone else have a dyspraxic child that keeps falling and hurting themselves. He crawls everychance he ge...(more) 7-28-2015 7:43pm (5 replies)
    gets. Pt doesn't want him in a strokler more than twice a week but it seems dangerous.
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    • Is the PT working on core strength as well? 7-28-2015 7:44pm
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      • Yes! He says he's doing well and yrt he's still constantly hurting himself and says that it is not concerning. 7-28-2015 7:46pm
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    • If his level of balance issues is constant, i.e. not worsening, yes it can be part of dyspraxia. Also could be an ataxia thing, which is why ataxic cp is my ds' alternate...(more) 13 hr 2 min ago
      "working dx". I used to leave his bike helmet on the whole time he was in the playground, whether he was scootering or not, just because he was so accident prone.
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      • It seems worse, but maybe its because he's not in his stroller as iften per therapist. He tries to crawl outside because being upright just makes him end up on the floor. he's...(more) 5 hr 39 min ago
        not very verbal yet so he can't tell me how it feels etc.
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        • 4 yo-pushing 5 was when we started phasing out the stroller, too. Still wish we had it sometimes. 3 hr 12 min ago
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  12. Special Needs Is there a requirement for how many days you have to receive your child's IEP after Annual Review? 7-28-2015 4:49pm (1 reply)
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    • ^^what is the law in NYS? Thanks. 7-28-2015 4:49pm
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  13. Special Needs My ADD teen has trichotillomania (compulsive hair-pulling). Her vacationing psychiatrist said meds don't help, CBT helps, and she doesn't do that kind of work. Anyone have any...(more) 7-28-2015 3:42pm (32 replies)
    experience with this? TIA
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    • New psychiatrist 7-28-2015 3:42pm
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      • why do you say that? 7-28-2015 3:43pm
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        • She's unwilling to help and passing it along 7-28-2015 3:44pm
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          • lol. I thought just maybe, she had something more. 7-28-2015 3:45pm
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          • np: But a new psychiatrist won't do CBT either. That's the province of psychologist. Changing to a new psychiatrist won't be a fix. 7-28-2015 3:45pm
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            • A new one might be more open to helping, finding resources. 7-28-2015 3:46pm
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              • I would certainly ask the current psychiatrist for referrals to CBT practitioners. That's the most helpful thing she could provide at this point, for sure! 7-28-2015 3:47pm
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          • Because she isn't a practitioner of the most successful therapy for that condition? Yes, she told op to find an expert in that area. 7-28-2015 3:46pm
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        • NP - you said it yourself. She doesn't think meds help, and she doesn't perform the therapy that would. Of what use is she to your dc? 7-28-2015 3:45pm
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          • You are on SN now - do your realize that? 7-28-2015 3:46pm
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            • I am explaining why a change of psychiatrist is a good idea. This one is not helpful 7-28-2015 3:46pm
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              • And yes, I know where I am. I have an SN dc 7-28-2015 3:47pm
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              • That is not OR - I am and agree with this poster. 7-28-2015 3:47pm
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              • You don't seem to understand what OP is asking. 7-28-2015 3:50pm
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            • Np. If your dd is seeing her for some other treatments/conditions then by all means stick with her for that, but the doctor specifically told you she does not treat this. Right? 7-28-2015 3:47pm
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              • ^ I agree that the way the or said it sounded snarky, but practically speaking, that doctor is saying they'll need to refer you elsewhere 7-28-2015 3:48pm
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              • Correct. This is something new. I can't get more details since she's on vacation at the moment, and I have just noticed it's a lot worse than I first thought. So…I am asking for...(more) 7-28-2015 3:49pm
                recommendations about trichotillomania, not about dd's psychiatrist.
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                • It sounds like you need a CBT therapist. I know of both psychologists and LCSWs who offer it. Does your psychiatrist have any names for you? If not, I would hit up your local...(more) 7-28-2015 3:50pm
                  parent community. Or here of course.
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                  • This came up two weeks ago. i didn't realize it's as severe as it is - I'm sure when the dr returns she's give me a name, but that won't be for a week or two, and I have time ...(more) 7-28-2015 3:52pm
                    research it right now!
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                    • Got it. The psych is on vacation and has time for a courtesy reply to tell you she's not going to be helpful but probably not to help you research till she comes back. I know...(more) 7-28-2015 3:55pm
                      peopl have mentioned both NYU and Child Mind as places that do offer CBT. I think this practice does too though I don't know anyone who uses them http://manhattanpsychologygroup.com
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          • Really?! That's like complaining that your opthamologist suggests an ENT dr for your chronic tonsillitis. 7-28-2015 3:48pm
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            • Disagree. If op is saying what psychiatrist said I'd think psychiatrist didn't have much of an interest in helping me. If psychiatrist said that its not her area of expertise but...(more) 7-28-2015 3:52pm
              that she could refer them to someone appropriate - that would be professional and caring. Saying that I just don't do that, you need X is pretty clear imo
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              • OP: this was over the phone. Other issues took precedence, I didnt realize the severity when I mentioned it in passing. Lay off my shrink now, please. SHE isn't the issue - she is...(more) 7-28-2015 3:55pm
                in Europe. When she returns I'll call again but for right NOW - I was asking about experiences with trichotillomania. Not for you opinion of dd's psychiatrist? Thanks.
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          • I would assume that she is in charge of the meds that OP's dd does take. In that capacity if she's been on point, she's been doing her job well. What would be the rationale for...(more) 7-28-2015 3:49pm
            dumping her?
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    • The medications that have shown promise are not things you'd give children. At least not unless it was extreme enough to justify the risks. Agree with cbt as the best approach...(more) 7-28-2015 3:44pm
      from what I know of it.
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      • thanks. Hoping for a specific practice - NYC, I forgot to add. 7-28-2015 3:51pm
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        • Dena Rabinowitz on the UWS 7-28-2015 4:56pm
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    • Have you looked at using the amino acid NAC (N-acetylcysteine)? 7-28-2015 3:44pm
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      • I have not. What is your experience? 7-28-2015 3:45pm
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    • No experience with this specific condition but a strong believer in CBT for behavioral change 7-28-2015 3:44pm
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    • go to www.trich.org for info on treatments, etc. 7-28-2015 5:13pm
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    • Many CBT therapists work with this. It is an OCD type condition 23 hr 11 min ago
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  14. Special Needs DD is 8 and changing schools this year. She will be taking the bus for the first time - she is dyslexic and very high functioning ASD, and going to a full inclusion school. Can I...(more) 7-28-2015 3:40pm (6 replies)
    drive her the first week or just let her take the bus from the start. She is going to be very nervous.
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    • Will driving her make it more difficult to transition to school? I always find saying goodbye at the bus door is better than at the school door. Second question: will driving her...(more) 7-28-2015 3:42pm
      make it harder to switch to the bus?
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      • I don't know. Part of me thinks I should just put her on the bus but oh I will feel so guilty if she has a bad time on the bus. This is a very good move for her but so...(more) 7-28-2015 3:43pm
        nervewracking at the same time
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        • How much is her anxiety and how much is your own? 7-28-2015 3:43pm
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          • She has a lot of anxiety - she gets it from me - and I think she would like to go on the bus by herself but she might change her mind as it becomes a reality. She is brave but...(more) 7-28-2015 3:45pm
            this is going to be hard for her
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            • I would do social stories with her. Will there be a bus matron? 7-28-2015 3:45pm
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    • i vote bus from the start 7-28-2015 4:51pm
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  15. Special Needs You know you're a SN parent when you tense up upon receiving an e-mail from dc's camp unit head titled "(Child's name) at Camp". It's just snapshots of him rock climbing 7-28-2015 3:25pm (16 replies)
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    • Yeah, that PTSD takes years to go away 7-28-2015 3:25pm
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      • ptsd? really? 7-28-2015 3:27pm
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        • Oh hells, yes. 7-28-2015 3:28pm
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        • Are you an SN parent? This is well documented. The state of mind of many SN parents has been compared to those of soldiers in combat, in fact! 7-28-2015 3:30pm
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        • Honey, I once got a call to come pick up my not-yet-dxed ASD 6 yo because he was having a tantrum--and arrived to find him in restraints with EMT's and cops all over the place,...(more) 7-28-2015 3:31pm
          who insisted he had to go to an ER against my wishes. Yes, PTSD. Minor miracle that ds doesn't have it too.
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          • I love you. Hell, I am you 7-28-2015 3:37pm
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            • How's he doing now? Mine is 5th grade and holding his own in mainstream g&t, the particular teacher that year was just, shall we put it politely, limited. 7-28-2015 5:31pm
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    • Yes!!!!! Or just every single time the phone rings .... 7-28-2015 3:26pm
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      • I had to explain to ds' school counselor very bluntly why he should NEVER leave a voice mail without specifying very clearly the reason for the call, especially when the call is...(more) 7-28-2015 3:27pm
        timed so that I won't be able to reach him back until after a weekend.
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        • You'd think a school counselor who does the counseling on ds' IEP would know why "This is dc's counselor. Please call when you get this." would freak us out. 7-28-2015 3:28pm
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          • (Message left at home number only at 4PM on a Friday--gone until 8AM Monday by the time we get home and get the vague mesage, of course). 7-28-2015 3:32pm
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      • In about 13 days I am going to post something on SN. I am not posting now, because if I do I will jinx it. So just wait..... (np) 7-28-2015 3:27pm
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        • My 6 yo AS Ed was at an ESY summer program run by our shitty public school - principal left me a message to call her asap then I couldn't reach her until pick up. Said dd had a...(more) 10 hr 31 min ago
          Tantrum about coloring (dd has fine motor issues), and when they tried to "calm her down" she started hitting herself. Principal said she was going to call DYFS And recommend a psych evaluation. I asked her if she read dd's iep and she said "oh, no. Is there information in there about this"? DD has never gone back to that loony bin, and we make the school cough up $4k every summer for an appropriate ESY program. NJ BURBS, btw
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          • What a moron. I was afraid we were going to get a real meltdown when I heard that camp punished ds by restricting afternoon activities for refusing to eat the camp lunch one day....(more) 9 hr 43 min ago
            What is the point of his having a shadow and all that inclusion paperwork if whomever is working with him doesn't know better than to try to force a sensory autistic kid to eat really bad institutional food?
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            • I'm amazed at the idiocy when it comes to administrators dealing with sn kids 3 hr 26 min ago
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    • yup 7-28-2015 3:26pm
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  16. Special Needs I'm concerned my adhd almost-7-yo is having his growth stunted by meds. He's been on them for a year and seems shorter than the campers he's with entering 2d grade this fall....(more) 7-28-2015 1:50pm (8 replies)
    Ay one have experience with that.
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    • ^^^he's also an august birthday kid, so we haven't visited ped yet this year 7-28-2015 1:51pm
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    • if you are worried, go to the ped and measure. my ds is a july birthday and was the shortest kid without meds until he was 3rd/rth grade. He is on meds now and I think he is...(more) 7-28-2015 1:52pm
      growing (I will know in afew weeks at the doc)
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      • Thanks for that. I figure we can wait til his appointment in August. It just took me by surprise to see him looking small 7-28-2015 1:54pm
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        • yw. I just saw my 11yo at camp this weekend (he is medicated) and he looks like he grew, but man, he slimed out 7-28-2015 1:57pm
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          • Mine is skinny too, but think about how active they are at camp as compared to the rest of the year. Makes se sense 7-28-2015 2:00pm
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    • Look at his growth curve. Has he been growing normally. It is a known side effect that stimulants can effect height but it's usually by less than an inch over time. Make sure he...(more) 7-28-2015 2:54pm
      is growing properly and if not see a per endo.
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    • Is the camp a mix of NYC and elsewhere, public and private? If the camp groups by grade rather than age, it could just be different cutoffs and redshirting. 7-28-2015 3:34pm
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      • We put my late December ds in the camp group for the grade he just finished for this reason, the older group runs to significantly bigger/older than him. 7-28-2015 3:35pm
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  17. Special Needs Well, my ds (FAS, I posted earlier) felt better and went to day 2 (of 5) of the dance camp. I did disclose the SN. He did hate the camp and said some girl called him a baby, etc....(more) 7-28-2015 1:30pm (2 replies)
    1 down, 3 to go (unless he really can't handle it and then I'll just keep him home).
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    • Glad to hear that he's feeling better. Hope he has a better experience tomorrow - sometimes the first day is just hard. 7-28-2015 1:36pm
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  18. Special Needs I'm looking for a therapist that specializes in transgender and anxiety issues for my 8 year old dd....(more) 7-28-2015 11:52am (8 replies)
    NYC or Brooklyn.
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    • This post has been disliked 9 times. show<<narrows eyes>> 7-28-2015 11:53am
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    • This post has been disliked 6 times. showI'm sure they will be cropping up. this is trendy now. 7-28-2015 11:55am
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    • Sorry I don't have a rec, but maybe start with accreditation agency for CBT therapists....(more) 7-28-2015 11:58am
    • I don't know anyone, but I wonder if you called the Harvey Milk School if they might have a referral for you. 7-28-2015 12:03pm
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      • np - good suggestion! 7-28-2015 12:04pm
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      • See below - het rick-Martin runs HMH. 7-28-2015 1:02pm
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    • Psych mom here - call Callan-Lorde center or Heyrick-Martin Center. There are many private therapists who can help, but those two places are great and supportive. Check back here...(more) 7-28-2015 12:38pm
      and let me know if you need more direction. Don't let people deter you by claiming its tendy. Your support can save your child from so much pain..,,
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    • Susan Coates. Not sure if she's still practicing but she's great. UWS 23 hr 42 min ago
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  19. Special Needs Help. My ASD child needs to see a psychologist. My insurance plan (GHI) will only reimburse $40/ session. Cost is $250 per session. Is there any way to increase my...(more) 7-28-2015 11:51am (7 replies)
    reimbursement? I can't afford this and my kid needs help. Thanks.
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    • Call your plan and ask for an in-network referral. 7-28-2015 11:54am
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    • Can you find someone in network? Call the insurance company and explain. They may be able to work out a single provider agreement, but therapist will have to come down in price....(more) 7-28-2015 11:54am
      good luck.
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      • op: I'm looking for someone in network, but can't find anyone that is a good fit 7-28-2015 11:55am
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        • what is a single provider agreement? 7-28-2015 11:56am
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          • My insurance company negotiated a rate with a provider that was out of network, because there was no suitable alternative in my area. It was a lot of hassle. Both parties...(more) 7-28-2015 12:05pm
            haveto be flexible.
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    • Sadly no 23 hr 10 min ago
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    • See a social worker instead 23 hr 9 min ago
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  20. Special Needs Need feedback on Watch Me Grow on W7nd. Any rec for OT for sensory issue? TIA 7-28-2015 10:00am (4 replies)
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    • I never had my DC there but friends say very good things about it. 7-28-2015 11:01am
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    • It's been years since my DS was with WMG I think we were one of the first clients when they opened on 72nd st but the owner Shirael is a great person and gets good people. When we...(more) 7-28-2015 4:03pm
      started my DS's OT was Missy Fry she was absolutely amazing. The 2nd year with them she moved to the downtown east side location. The next OT who I forgot her name was also good. I don't think Missy or anyone but Shirael is still there from our time with them.
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  21. Special Needs Reading bedtime stories to ASD kids - When were you able to read a story and have dc follow the plot in any menaingful way (vs repeating a story until it was totally familiar)? 7-27-2015 9:44pm (2 replies)
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    • Yes, but a little bit older than a NT kid before reaching that point. 7-28-2015 7:42am
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      • And encourage it by commenting on and asking questions about what you are reading as you do it. 7-28-2015 7:42am
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  22. Special Needs Dd hasn't had a single playdate invite this summer. Makes me sad. She's 8, such a great kid, has casual friends but no 'bestie'. I of course reach out to there kids and set up the...(more) 7-27-2015 9:28pm (11 replies)
    playdates.
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    • My ds has never had a playdate invite. He's 11. 7-27-2015 9:30pm
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    • Where? In NYC, so many kids are in camp all day. Plus lots of weekend trips makes many kids unavailable. 7-27-2015 9:30pm
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    • I always wonder why this happens. Are other kids not having kids over - do orher families just not host? Or is dd unlikable? My dd has 2 maybe 3 friends and is going into 7th 7-27-2015 9:34pm
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    • My 8 yet old has had one playdate because we or other kids are away. Nbd! Try getting to know random neighborhood kids that are around to play. 7-27-2015 9:37pm
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    • I am so thankful we live next to a kid who enjoys playing with SN 7yo dd AND NT 5yo ds. Dd still complains that ds has more play dates, but at least she has our neighbor to play...(more) 7-27-2015 9:40pm
      with
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    • we rarely do playdates in the summer, it's all about camp/vacation, no one wants to be a on a schedule 7-28-2015 8:20am
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    • Been really hard for us as well. No one wants to do anything or they are away. But that is what it is like in the summer. DS was upset at first but I have been doing so many fun...(more) 7-28-2015 9:01am
      things with him that it's all forgotten. I just get out there and make fun for DS especially on the weekends. Weekday I work and he has day camp.
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    • mine is 13 and we haven't had one either. In fact, we rarely have a playdate. School is citywide so the kids are not local, and the local (nt) kids wouldn't choose my sn kids as a...(more) 7-28-2015 9:02am
      friend. So playdates are difficult to find. What I do during the school year is make sure dc is in a lot of structured activities with other kids after school and on the weekend. But in the summer, there are none of these. Dc does have the 6 week summer program at her sn school, that she is in now, followed for 2 weeks of sleepaway camp and then a week of day camp. This is the best that I can do. I also am troubled by the lack of what I would call friends, particularly now that dc is a teen. I hope eventually she is able to make friends. I know the school works on this with her. Her problem is the verbal back and forth.
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    • This is more a factor of the way modern kids have little unstructured time, coupled with the tendency of kids to go to all different schools even if they live in the same building...(more) 7-28-2015 10:15am
      or block. Try focusing on fostering friendships via activities. DS has made some ties with potential at his karate school, or interacting with kids at our neighborhood pool.
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    • dc 13 has never been invited to a playdate. 7-28-2015 11:39am
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    • flip side as someone who happily arranges playdates nonstop for my kids (asd and nt): other parents may not be able to host. my dc's friends are all from larger families (4 kids...(more) 7-28-2015 1:57pm
      seems to be common) where the moms don't have household help. as we're in the burbs, they're essentially chauffering kids all summer and thus can't host (or don't want to). on the other hand, since i only have two kids and have a fulltime nanny since we both work, we can host all the time. as a result, we host playdates nearly daily in summer - yesterday we had 5 kids over plus my two; today 3 are over, etc. - and my kids complain they only have playdates at other kids' homes after school during the year (as that's when those moms can actually host).
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  23. Special Needs Bruce Jenner's 85+ year old mother can accept him as a woman. And I am having a hard time accepting my ADHD/behavioral kid. Ugh. I suck. 7-27-2015 9:22pm (15 replies)
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    • Aww, I'm sorry you guys are having a hard time. I have a huge amount of respect for his mom. I know you know it's totally different. Wish you the best!! 7-27-2015 9:25pm
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    • She thinks he's playing dress up but she doesn't have a problem with it 7-27-2015 9:26pm
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      • No she doesn't. 7-27-2015 9:27pm
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        • She doesn't? She said as much 7-27-2015 9:28pm
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    • easier for her because he..she is the "hero" 7-28-2015 8:20am
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    • What is going on with your kid? It's hard when you have a difficult to deal with child. Don't beat yourself up. 7-28-2015 8:25am
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      • Np: so true. And 7-28-2015 8:29am
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        • And Caitlin's mom doesn't live with her dc the way that you do. 7-28-2015 8:30am
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    • She has a lot more experience than you! 7-28-2015 8:28am
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    • Completely different. I bet you are tired and just plain worn out 7-28-2015 8:30am
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    • PLEASE do not compare yourself to anyone involved with television. It has nothing to do with reality at all. 7-28-2015 8:44am
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      • This ain't dallas. 7-28-2015 8:51am
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    • You'll get there. Plus they do mature and for the most part the adhd kids with behavioral issues are much calmer after puberty. 7-28-2015 2:52pm
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    • I don't even know you and I think you're a fucking rock star. 7-28-2015 7:57pm
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      • op:thank you, now i'm weeping. maybe the tequila has something to do with it... :) 22 hr 21 min ago
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  24. Special Needs Can a dc who communicates feelings and can usually correctly identify them in others (in fact, is often highly empathetic) have ASD? this dc has all the other features - tons of...(more) 7-27-2015 7:06pm (23 replies)
    stimming and extremely restricted interests, strange interactions, pragmatic language issues, social phobias..but is also very friendly (over-friendly) under the right circumstances.
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    • How is he at taking another's perspective? 7-27-2015 7:10pm
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      • variable. role play and leading questions help, but he tends to see himself as the victim and can come across as selfish, as if the world should revolve around him because others...(more) 7-27-2015 7:15pm
        don't have needs/desires. but this dc does have a lot of empathy, for both people and animals who are hurting, etc.
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        • is it really empathy or learned sympathy? 7-27-2015 7:22pm
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          • I think it is true empathy. Doesn't do much to help dc with social skills, though, and dc still says hurtful things like "your dog is not very good-looking" because his empathy...(more) 7-27-2015 7:27pm
            doesn't extend to necessarily modifying his own impulses
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            • What you are describing may not be as empathetic as you may think...empathy doesn't just means feeling bad for someone in pain. It means being able to get inside someone's mind...(more) 7-27-2015 7:30pm
              and see things from their perspective. Telling someone their dog is ugly means he doesn't understand how it sounds to that person. People on the spectrum who are flatly informative offering facts often don't understand how they have hurt others' feelings.
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              • Yes, you are right, this kind of thing is a problem. Sometimes the dc seems to read people well and even manipulate by giving them exactly what they want (but didn't learn to lie...(more) 7-27-2015 7:32pm
                until age 8), but other times he is just generally clueless about how others are affected.
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              • ^ yes and what I see with learned empathy is that they have no clue on how long to offer support - that is the tell. ASD people will ask if someone is ok b/c that is learned then...(more) 7-27-2015 7:36pm
                they have no idea when to walk away. My dc once asked me if I needed help with something and I said, " I think I got it." I expected him to watch and make sure I had it. Instead he patted me on the back and said, "Ok, keep trying.", and walked away. This does not sound as off as it was but the rest of my family burst out laughing b/c ASD dc was so inappropriate by walking away and saying keep trying.
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                • aww, I hear you. Sounds sweet, though. 7-27-2015 7:39pm
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                • np: I'm a few points shy of a dx myself, and I have trouble with this! 7-28-2015 7:44am
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            • So you think its 100% impulse control? Its the think it dont say it? Lots of kids with ASD have this issue. Ask yourself this if your dc was truly empathetic wouldn't they pick...(more) 7-27-2015 7:31pm
              up on the fact that they said something hurtful? I mean this is why so many ADHD kids have self esteeme issues. They say it and realize its not socially appropriate. The ASD kids have no clue they said something wrong.
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              • good point. I never thought of that. Dc only feels bad if it's pointed out that someone got hurt, assuming he understands how this is so. 7-27-2015 7:33pm
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                • ^^I mean that often he can be brought to an understanding (and then may hit himself as punishment, etc.) and sometimes not 7-27-2015 7:35pm
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        • Atypical relatedness is the key here. If he is too friendly that is also a flag. NT kids can read social situations with so much precision. If he is responding in ways that are...(more) 7-27-2015 7:28pm
          socially off, whether too friendly or not enough, and he is lacking in that ability to see things from someone else's point of view, that's important data.
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          • I see. I think my definition of "other person's POV" was too narrow. Dc definitely lacks the ability, for example, to consider that someone else may not wish to discuss tray...(more) 7-27-2015 7:30pm
            tables for 20 minutes.
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            • Yup that's theory of mind. He has trouble seeing the world from any perspective but his own. HE likes that topic...so he can't imagine why anyone else might not like it as much as...(more) 7-27-2015 7:32pm
              He does!
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    • Yes. The AS adults in my family with very high iq's all can identify others emotions. Identifying emotions for them was learned and often kids will be well beyond their peers in...(more) 7-27-2015 7:21pm
      understanding emotions because they have been taught. The difference in my layman understanding (AS spouse that has done too much reading on the subject) is that they lack empathy and have to think about other emotions. My dh can identify when I am upset but is not capable of being upset with me - so he can understand the feeling, verbalize but not empathize. I know many ASD individuals who are top in the field ER doctors and lawyers. They can identify the emotions but are not affected, its easy for them to detach from it. My ASD dc knows to ask others if they are ok when they fall.
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      • thank you 7-27-2015 7:25pm
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      • ^ and I would consider overly friendly as a big flag as it shows dc can not read the social hints and pick up that hes being overly friendly and off. That in and of...(more) 7-27-2015 7:25pm
        itself is a strange interaction.
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        • OP: yes, and the inappropriate touching, too, e.g., the dc physically attempted to spin the body of a person he sees once a year/barely knows. 7-27-2015 7:29pm
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          • Right - the other person was probably freaked because he understands their relationship to be much more casual so it probably seemed like crossing a boundary to him. 7-27-2015 7:31pm
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            • This is an adult, luckily, but yes, it happens with kids, too. 7-27-2015 7:34pm
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      • This times 100. 7-28-2015 7:47am
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    • Absolutely 7-28-2015 12:23pm
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  25. Special Needs Anyone else have an asd kid who is very symptomatic for a week or so and then not at all for several weeks? feel so crazy. I get blank stares and eye rolls at evaluaions then...(more) 7-27-2015 4:50pm (9 replies)
    reccomendations that he is not appropriate for inclusion in classrooms! so frustrated.
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    • Mine has what I think of as "flare-ups" for a week or two every few months, generally coinciding with growth spurts or minor illnesses. 7-27-2015 4:52pm
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      • And school always goes NUTS because they forgot how this went last time. 7-27-2015 4:52pm
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      • how do you explain to people during either situation that your child has other aspects without sounding crazy? 7-27-2015 4:53pm
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        • Say exactly what you said. His symptoms come and go, vary significantly from one month to another. 7-27-2015 4:54pm
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      • seasonal allergies are also a trigger for ds 7-28-2015 12:24pm
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    • Video as many of the incidents as you can so you can show the to the people who don't believe you. I have used this method many times! 7-28-2015 12:50pm
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      • np: I have tried to do this but if I try to video on my phone my ds sees me and immediately wants to grab my phone and play with my phone. How do you videotape unobtrusively and...(more) 7-28-2015 7:46pm
        actually capture the behavior you want to capture? Nanny cam?
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        • Yes or put the phone in a corner high up where he can't see it easily, and kind of herd him into view as he does whatever it is you want to document. 7-28-2015 7:50pm
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    • Yup. I have a 3 yo ds who can almost pass for typical some days and then his behavior seems to regress a couple of times a month for several days at a time. No obvious rhyme or...(more) 7-28-2015 7:45pm
      reason either. I also feel crazy like I am losing my mind...
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