Special Needs

  1. Special Needs Has anyone had their SN kids at IPS? Could you share any experiences? 7 min ago (0 replies)
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  2. Special Needs I love how my dog finds any item of ours, slippers, dc's clothes, blankets, whatever it is that has our scent and she snuggles up and goes to sleep on it. Like she needs to smell...(more) 23 min ago (0 replies)
    her people and she feels safe and secure.
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  3. Special Needs Ds 10, has anxiety. Has been doing a lot better, but for the past few days, he's been telling me he's feeling depressed for no reason. Getting it in waves, but it comes and goes....(more) 45 min ago (20 replies)
    Earlier today, he asked to see me in his room. Climbed in bed and we snuggled and he cried. Didn't really want to talk, just kind of crumbled for no reason. We finally talked about it. Said he felt scared. Sad. Depressed. I came out and asked him if he felt like he wanted to hurt himself, he said no. This freaked me out though. He was in a really dark place for a little while, but then came out of it. Wdyt? help.
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    • I'd call his therapist. 42 min ago
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      • I was going to text him tomorrow. Think that's ok. Didn't want to make it an emergency by calling or texting on a Sunday afternoon. Think it's ok to wait till tomorrow? Fwiw, ds...(more) 41 min ago
        is fine right now. Playing with his brother, calm, not sad.
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        • I think it's ok. Just keep an eye on him. Good luck! 41 min ago
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          • Thank you. I am. I was really worried that he was feeling suicidal. Still not sure what happened. He was scared. So was I :( 40 min ago
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            • Why are you worried about him being suicidal? I ask because my 10yoo dd has anxiety disorder too and I always get scared of that but the are really no indicators besides anxiety 36 min ago
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              • I know, I am being a nutter. He just seemed very depressed, said he wanted to run away and escape his depression. Doesn't want to feel this way. It just scared me. 31 min ago
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                • NP, if you are scared I would call therapist today. They are there for emergencies. 29 min ago
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                  • ^also, get him out of the house and keep him busy. BTDT too many times. If home, color, crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, watch tv, just keep him distracted. Take for ice...(more) 27 min ago
                    cream/Starbucks, etc
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                    • It's been so cold all weekend and we've been home all weekend. I think it's getting to him. I will try and take him out with me to get some ice cream, good idea. 26 min ago
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                      • This is a problem we have with now 15 yo ds. Really hard for him to have down time at home. Never leads to any good thoughts. Dh and I feel like camp counselors at times trying...(more) 18 min ago
                        to keep him entertained.
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    • I would be concerned but not an emergency, definitely discuss with therapist for sure and keep an eye on him, us he's in no danger 36 min ago
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      • Ok, thank you. I think he's ok, but the crying in bed thing did scare me. I've been depressed and felt like I wanted to die. I don't want him to inherit that from me. 31 min ago
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    • Get him back to (or just to!) the pediatric psychiatrist 36 min ago
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      • I plan to text psychiatrist tomorrow. Thankfully, we have one we like a lot and he's usually very helpful to us. 29 min ago
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    • My ds used to do this at 10 and 11. He was having issues with dynamic with boys in his class, not feeling included. It made him feel a general sense of unease that would grip him...(more) 31 min ago
      at any time if he thought about it, but he couldn't really articulate it.
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      • That is very well part of it for him, too. He is so sweet, but a little awkward. He often feels put in the middle with friends and doesn't want to get into drama. 30 min ago
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        • Does he have best friends or just acquaintances? Does he have a group to sit with at lunch? how does he do academically? 29 min ago
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          • He has a few best friends. Not a ton, but a few that are good friends. Plenty that are acquaintances and not as close. He sits with a few boys at lunch who are his friends. He is...(more) 27 min ago
            very disorganized, but does ok academically, no major issues there.
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            • That's good, then. Maybe something specific happened then? If not, I'd comfort him and let him know it's good to talk things out. 26 min ago
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              • He will talk to me and says he feels so much better when he does. He doesn't like to tell dh all of this issues, not sure why. Feels like he wants to just tell me when he's...(more) 25 min ago
                feeling like this.
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  4. Special Needs Parents of teens with ADHD. Would this offend your child? Having a family discussion and 12 yr old was interrupting and changing the subject. She does not have ADHD. Her 15yr old...(more) 4 hr 5 min ago (13 replies)
    sister does. I said "I feel like we're having attention issues. Let's focus on the topic." Then later, when 12 yr old continued to change the subject, I said "You are having an ADHD moment - please focus." My 15 old stormed out of the room, saying I was offensive. I didn't take it seriously bc she had a big smile on her face but she insisted I owed her an apology (I did - many times) and she says what I said was rude and offensive. Would your teens be upset by this? I truly suspect dd was grandstanding to get out of the conversation but I do wonder how much of it is a "I can joke about this but no one else can" thing.
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    • You're being super insensitive. She has a disability and you are making light on it. Truly gross. 4 hr 4 min ago
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    • It is offensive 4 hr 4 min ago
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    • You fucked up 3 hr 59 min ago
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    • this has to be fake. 3 hr 59 min ago
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      • Op: wow - seriously - I didn't think it was that big of a deal but it clearly is if you think it's so outrageous that it must be fake. I apologized profusely to dd. She won't...(more) 3 hr 57 min ago
        accept my apology.
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    • Op: sincere question to the two who responded: are you actually raising teens with ADHD? I ask only b/c dd jokes abt it all the time. Will turn to me or a sibling and say "What...(more) 3 hr 58 min ago
      which one of us has ADHD?" Again I get that it's one thing to joke about something yourself and another to hear someone else do it. I'm just saying that telling me it's gross makes me think that you don't understand the dynamic of how casually we talk about this - and many other teens we know do as well.
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    • Since I have ADD and my dh sometimes says, focus and stop ADD-ing on me, I'm used to this and it doesn't offend me personally. But I'm 44. If I were 15 and felt bad about it, yes,...(more) 3 hr 58 min ago
      it would probably upset me.
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    • She's being a drama queen, but yes, you were being insensitive. 3 hr 55 min ago
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      • Op: this is pretty much my thinking. I was insensitive but she way over-reacted as a way to deflect blame from the whole situation. Two sentence before she had called me stupid an...(more) 3 hr 52 min ago
        And controlling for wanting to know what time her performance is Wednesday night. She is a fucking mess and I try so hard to never say anything she can hold against me bc she holds EVERYTHING against me. I guess in this case I truly was offensive but, as I was talking to her sister and just trying to lighten the mood and get back to the topic of organizing our week.
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        • Ok, but you are the adult. 3 hr 47 min ago
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          • Yes I am. And I screwed up. And I apologized for screwing up. Not sure what else I can do. 3 hr 44 min ago
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            • Write her a card and maybe flowers or a movie voucher--we all make mistakes. I certainly do 3 hr 10 min ago
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    • My 17 year old a has ADHD and he will often say "and I'm the one with ADHD" when someone does something Addison but that is him poking fun of himself which he is comfortable with....(more) 1 hr 42 min ago
      I would never say it. You are being insensitive and making light of something that is difficult for her
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  5. Special Needs My 12 and 10 yo ds fight a lot. We are doing family therapy but the dynamic is awful. Dh and I feel completely beaten down by it. 12 yo ds has ADHD and I think the 10 yo has some...(more) 4 hr 13 min ago (4 replies)
    mild anxiety. Just sucks all around. Makes me feel like I should have never had dc. Why do they hate each other so much?
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    • What is coming out in family therapy? What are their issues with each other? 4 hr 12 min ago
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      • so far they are just seeing the therapist separately .... 3 hr 50 min ago
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    • I am sorry. Family therapy is a good idea. Only my oldest (ADHD and anxiety and executive function issues) is in therapy but we need to get our whole family in. When the oldest is...(more) 4 hr 9 min ago
      A big fat mess, it's really hard to have a stable family dynamic. And I hate that I feel like she is to blame. I'm trying really hard to examine what I am doing to contribute to the problem. But at the end of every dramatic family issue, the problem is her.
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    • Why do you think that is? 4 hr 6 min ago
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  6. Special Needs Obat bius @www.liquidsex.us...(more) 6 hr 2 min ago (0 replies)
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  7. Special Needs Can we PLEASE disqualify Trump, if, for no other reason, we do not need an Oompa Loompa president? 7 hr 12 min ago (12 replies)
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    • he won't win. 7 hr 12 min ago
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    • Lol, ok one might say he is on the spectrum, but this is the SN board ;) 7 hr 11 min ago
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    • Oompah loompah lives matter 7 hr 11 min ago
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    • This post has been disliked 3 times. showstfu, retard 7 hr 11 min ago
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      • Trump supporter? 7 hr 9 min ago
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        • downs? 7 hr 9 min ago
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      • What in the name of all that is holy are you doing on this board? GET OFF. SHOO. 7 hr 8 min ago
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        • eat shit 7 hr 8 min ago
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          • Acting like this brings bad things to your life. 7 hr 7 min ago
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            • EAT. IT. 7 hr 6 min ago
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              • You know that already, I see. Why not try stopping? Why not try employing empathy? 7 hr 6 min ago
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          • Look! It is anti-Hillary mom. 7 hr 5 min ago
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  8. Special Needs Feeling frustrated: my 15 yr old kid with ADHD and anxiety has some real issues but she's also just a spoiled brat who doesn't lift a finger around the house. She is the oldest...(more) 7 hr 31 min ago (28 replies)
    and, because of her, we've really organized and streamlined our chore expectations for all our kids. Each kid is responsible for one common room of the house each week and, as long as it's done, and their bedroom is reasonably clean by 11 am each Sunday, they earn allowance. The other kids all get their chores done.... The 15 yr old does jack shit and earns no money. Then she acts shocked when I won't give her money in the middle of the week to get coffee with friends. Same story every week but she feels controlled by the system so she refuses to participate and then plays the victim when she has no money. Yes, she's in therapy but progress is slow going.
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    • take away phone. 7 hr 30 min ago
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      • This. Sorry op. I'd be pissed and have a tough time being rational 7 hr 26 min ago
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      • Doesn't sound like this kind of thing works for her. She's already not getting money 7 hr 25 min ago
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      • Op: we do that all the time, actually. And before we recently revamped our whole system, my plan was that there would be no screen time on the weekends for anyone until chores...(more) 7 hr 25 min ago
        we're done. There were many reasons we ended up not going that route - but I guess it's the next step. It's just hard to implement consistently b/c we have younger kids and both adults and both older kids benefit from the younger two watching tv first thing on a sat or sun morning and letting the rest of us sleep.
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        • we got rid of tv and the kids got in the habit of playing together until we get up. it is possible. 7 hr 24 min ago
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          • Op: absolutely it's possible. And we used to allow no screens in the morning at all. But right now we're allowing the younger two to get their own bfast, curl up on the couch and...(more) 7 hr 20 min ago
            Watch little kid tv together. We only have one tv in the house so the mornings are when the little kids watch their stuff. Often in the evenings the big kids are watching something inappropriate so they kick the younger kids out.
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        • You need to do what works for your whole family 7 hr 22 min ago
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        • np: DS's therapist reminded me of something that particularly pertains when you have some DC w/ SN (I have one) and some without (I have one w/o). Equity, not equality. 7 min ago
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    • May e she needs more immediate rewards. Does her chore get s her money then not weekly. It can be different for her 7 hr 26 min ago
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      • I agree. immediate rewards are good. my ds isn't ADD, but he only gets screen time if he gets his work done. 7 hr 25 min ago
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        • OP: well, we just try to give them control over when they do their chore. they can do it any time during the week - the deadline is simply 11am Sunday. If dd does decide to do it,...(more) 7 hr 22 min ago
          It's always last minute on a Sunday morning so her pay IS immediate. And we're reasonable: if you have plans Sat night and need your allowance early, get your chore done before you leave and we'll pay you then.
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          • I think it's too open ended for someone like your dd. what about giving her the option mid week to do her chores when she is asking for the money. Ok well x needs to be done....(more) 7 hr 12 min ago
            Go do it and I will pay you
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            • OP: I promise I'm not trying to be argumentative. The conflict with dd comes when she's not at home. She tells me she's not going home bt school and play practice and she's going...(more) 7 hr 7 min ago
              out to eat with friends in the meantime. I say "with what money?" And she says "Mary is paying - you can pay her back when you pick me up." Or I stop at the grocery store and she wants me to buy her whatever and she'll pay me back. She has absolutely no delayed gratification. Even KNOWING she has an event Friday night, she can not make herself do her chore on Wednesday. She always waits until 15 min before the event, then tries to rush out the door, chore undone, asking for money bc "my ride's here!!! Hurry!" It's a dynamic that has worked for her bc I didn't even realize it was happening for a while.
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              • Ok. What about reminders mid week. You have this tonight, you need to do x if you want to go. Maybe she should be allowed to go if she has to have money. Don't let her borrow...(more) 7 hr 3 min ago
                from friends.
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            • np: It sounds complicated but I do agree with this. Or you could shift to a different system all together---everyone in the family gets some allowance commensurate with their...(more) 8 min ago
              age and needs. To get extra then they do extra? I realize you want her to be responsible for doing some stuff, but it sounds like what's in place now isn't always accomplishing that.
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    • Can you have a frank discussion with her about what is going on? 7 hr 26 min ago
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    • my 15 Yo ds is like this. He got a job this past winter and it has been so great for him . He gets his own money and he works hard there. 7 hr 23 min ago
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      • ^^ also has adhd 7 hr 17 min ago
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        • Op: where did he get a job? Do you live somewhere he can walk? We live in a burb where you have to drive everywhere so dd getting a job is difficult partially bc of transportation...(more) 7 hr 13 min ago
          And partially bc no one here hires 15 yr olds. I've tried to convince her to get babysitting jobs.
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          • a friend told us about a retirement home where they hire 15 yr to serve in the dining room. I can't say enough about how good this has been for him. 7 hr 9 min ago
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            • ^ it is about 10 min away from our house and we take him/pick up 7 hr 8 min ago
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    • this is exactly how my sister was growing up. My dad was a school psychologist with a master's degree in psychology and my mom had a master's degree in education and was a...(more) 7 hr 23 min ago
      teacher. And she wasn't diagnosed with anything….she is 47 yrs old and still does the bare minimum to get by….she is self employed and supports herself by working 3 days a week (she could work 5 but says she doesn't want to give up more free time to earn money she doesn't need anyway)
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      • ^my advice is to just keep doing what you are doing - if she doesn't work, she doesn't get her money. That's the punishment. She is suffering as a result of her actions - you...(more) 7 hr 20 min ago
        don't need to suffer too.
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        • Op: thank you. I appreciate that. I have to figure out how to not engage later in the week. I've told her it's her responsibility to bring her wallet with her all the time. She is...(more) 7 hr 17 min ago
          Constantly asking me to buy her things, claiming she'll pay me back and then we get home and she can't "find" her money. I've cracked down on that by buying nothing if I can't see the cash. But my point is that I do suffer mid week when she's asking for stuff she can't afford and then acting surprised when I tell her she has to spend her own money.
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          • my parents went to therapy themselves to deal with my sister…..and the approach is kind of like what they tell you in al-anon….don't enable, don't give in etc….and my 15 yo ds is...(more) 7 hr 8 min ago
            the EXACT same way as your dc. Gets in my face and starts pitching a fit because I won't give him money when he hasn't done what he is supposed to do….it just sucks for the parents with kids like this. I get a knot in my stomach every time I know I need to tell him he isn't getting his allowance for the week.
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            • Op: thank you for saying this. I dread allowance time every time she hasn't earned. I dread so many interactions with her and feel like I sometimes make stupid decisions simply to...(more) 7 hr 5 min ago
              Avoid them. And I am a special Ed teacher who taught kids with behavior disorders. I feel like dd is payback for all the times I assumed parents were simply not doing their jobs. Dd is actually very well behaved at school and fairly responsible with schoolwork - she saves her shitty behavior for home and sometimes that makes me feel worse.
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              • yeah, it sucks and it sucked for me growing up…it just throws the whole family dynamic off. I love my ds but there is so much tension in our house because of the way he acts 7 hr 1 min ago
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          • np: it sounds like maybe sometimes you have fronted her the money and sometimes not. Maybe if it's always the same--even if it's negative for her in the short term--it would be...(more) 5 min ago
            easier for her
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  9. Special Needs Sleepaway camp or camping program suggestions? Would like something on the small side, but not necesarily strictly special needs. DS likes outdoorsy activities but is also into...(more) 7 hr 42 min ago (0 replies)
    theater, comedy. Anyone have experience with Minisink? TIA.
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  10. Special Needs Anyone on w grade school girl diagnosed depression? 23 hr 46 min ago (0 replies)
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  11. Special Needs Pls tell me all will be ok, I sent bday invites for dc over a week ago, RSVP is far still but odd that no one texted me 2-13-2016 3:44pm (4 replies)
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    • Hugs, mama. I hate this every year, especially since ds got past the "invite the whole class" age. 2-13-2016 5:47pm
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      • It will be okay but parents can be jerks in this area except when it comes to their kiddo's birthday. I find it annoying that parents do not timely rsvp. I send out follow-up...(more) 21 hr 15 min ago
        emails.
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        • Not to hijack, but my kid decided she didn't want a party at all...(more) 9 hr 21 min ago
          She gets very overwhelmed with too much attention, hates the birthday song, etc so told us she didn't want a party this year (second year in a row). I emailed the other parents in her class to tell them, so they understand that it's not like we had a party and didn't invite them. She just isn't a party person. I still feel weird about it. What would you do? In a way it is a relief (we can't afford a big party anyway, and she would have a meltdown) but also sad
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    • did you email them or mail them. sometimes email can go to junk mail. you could send out another email just clarifying that everyone received them? 8 hr 33 min ago
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  12. Special Needs 9 year old ADHD / ODD child is not into sports, really only TV and Legos. he does sports but is terrible, so we are cutting back. He is losing friends b/c he isn't maturing. He...(more) 2-13-2016 3:43pm (13 replies)
    is obsessed with video games. I need help. anyone who's been there, guidance?
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    • I feel like he is losing friends b/c they are maturing, doing more sports and he is not maturing. He also DOES NOT follow directions. 2-13-2016 3:44pm
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      • But he has ADHD and ODD. 2-13-2016 3:46pm
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    • 9 is a tough age for boys with friendship. Just muddle through and give him time. 2-13-2016 3:45pm
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    • Have you tried Martial Arts? I posted for many years about my ds being like this. ADHD, anxious, immature, very into video games and hated most sports. I put him in Martial Arts...(more) 2-13-2016 3:46pm
      and he's been the best I've seen him in years. I think it's actually made a huge difference for him. He's 10.
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      • what age did you put him in? Mine has a hard time following the directions in those classes and the stops. Really has no had eye coordination 2-13-2016 3:47pm
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        • Just now at 10. There are a lot of kids in there with similar issues. The Martial Arts school is very kind and understanding of kids who might be a little "different" but not...(more) 2-13-2016 3:49pm
          actually SN.
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    • Try swimming, and sports that focus on skill-building (ball handling, running) vs team playing. 2-13-2016 4:04pm
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      • he really hates them. doesn't want to do any 2-13-2016 4:09pm
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        • Are basic sports skills something you and/or dh can work on with him? I wish it weren't this way, but sports is such a huge part of boys' social lives at this age. No need to be...(more) 2-13-2016 4:13pm
          the best, but just able to play is huge.
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          • DH has been coaching him for years. He just doesn't take anything serisouly or try. it's really sad to watch. except for video games 2-13-2016 4:22pm
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          • I don't agree with this. There are so many boys that are not good at sports or into them. This child just needs to find something social that he likes that he can find commone...(more) 21 hr 2 min ago
            frinds. Could be theatre or robotics or science or art and do classes in those areas so he meets kids with similar interests
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            • Ita! Why try to be something you are not? You do not have to be a sporty boy. Find a club for kids with similar interests. Video gaming groups and. Keep game coding classes are...(more) 8 hr 15 min ago
              big right now
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    • We tried many different things with DS (anxiety, dyslexia, ADD, ASD) and he hated them all. When he started at his boarding school they had horses--he had never ridden before....(more) 4 min ago
      It has been incredible for him. It just all clicked immediately, he is super motivated to work with them, ride, learn, help. And now he's more willing to do other physical activities.
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  13. Special Needs Trying the new 15mg dies today and not seeing improvements teachers mention. That was at 10 but went downhill by 1 2-13-2016 3:40pm (15 replies)
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    • ??? 2-13-2016 3:42pm
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    • dose of what? 2-13-2016 3:42pm
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      • FOcalin xr 2-13-2016 3:45pm
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        • NP: how old? That seems like a high dose 2-13-2016 3:50pm
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          • Almost 7, he's 4 foot 3 but they say weight height don't have to do with it 2-13-2016 3:51pm
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            • My dd is 7 in a few days. We started with 2.5 and worked up to 7.5 where she seems to be doing well. However, the come down or rebound or whatever it's called has been tough....(more) 2-13-2016 3:55pm
              Nights are hard and she's gotten very emotional
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              • Is that xr 2-13-2016 3:55pm
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                • Let me check... 2-13-2016 3:55pm
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                  • It reads...generic for Focalin. Dexmethylph 2.5 tpmg tab teva. So I guess it's different? 2-13-2016 3:57pm
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                    • Yes 2-13-2016 3:57pm
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                      • Ah, sorry then. I'm no help. But good luck, the trial and error is hard! 2-13-2016 3:59pm
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                    • Glad she's doing well 2-13-2016 3:57pm
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                      • Thanks, it's been a tough road but this year we had a very intuitive teacher who was very supportive 2-13-2016 3:58pm
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                        • I'm hoping this year ends well been tough. 2-13-2016 3:59pm
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                          • I'm sorry, it really can suck 2-13-2016 4:00pm
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  14. Special Needs ASD symptom descriptions: I know they are subjective, but how would you label my son? I just want to know how to best describe him on Internet message boards. Behavior: scripts...(more) 2-13-2016 12:42pm (11 replies)
    frequently, hard to engage, hyper, difficulty with transitions leaving home, no difficult behaviors at school. Communication: speaks in sentences with a ton of grammatical errors, mostly talks to get needs met, with parents only comments and shares interest occasionally. Social: no social interest in peers at all, will play rough housing type games with little brother occasionally, plays sensory social games with parents. Self help: age-appropriate. Cognitive: tests a little ahead. He is 5.
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    • autistic 2-13-2016 12:44pm
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      • Yes, I know, but to what degree. 2-13-2016 12:46pm
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        • My first impression is moderate, but I'd probably need to see him in action to be sure. 2-13-2016 5:48pm
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    • OP: I've always thought of moderate to severe, but when I've observed moderate to severe school environments, it doesn't seem like a good fit. Not sure if I'm just in denial,...(more) 2-13-2016 12:45pm
      though.
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      • Doesn't sound like severe. Barely moderate. 2-13-2016 12:49pm
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        • Really? I feel like his social deficits are severe compared to other autistic kids, though. 2-13-2016 1:07pm
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          • Np: no sounds just classic autism but at a moderately impaired level. 2-13-2016 2:44pm
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      • Severe is generally reserved for barely verbal kids, or those with stimming/behaviors that impede everyday life. I think of HFA as a kid who could made it in a MS classroom...(more) 2-13-2016 2:03pm
        (though possibly with an aide, a thick IEP and some pull-outs). Moderate covers the ground in between. And the cognitive piece is irrelevant to the severity of autism. Based on your post, I'd consider your dc moderate, but this is highly subjective and I don't know what sort of classroom your dc is even in.
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    • Moderate autism spectrum 2-13-2016 2:42pm
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    • he sounds incredibly similar to my son who's 6. I wonder the same thing myself 2-13-2016 3:02pm
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    • which is why the descriptions of severe, moderate, HF are so useless in general 2-13-2016 5:33pm
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  15. Special Needs Anyone have an autistic child at Crossbridge? How is it going? What are you child's most pronounced symptoms? 2-13-2016 12:33pm (0 replies)
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  16. Special Needs 6 yo DS (ASD) is doing a research study, and at the last session, told this whole story about how his father hits him and his brothers. DH has NEVER laid a hand on DC. Then he...(more) 2-13-2016 11:50am (1 reply)
    told the examiner I used to hit them, too! I asked him why he said that, and he kept insisting it was true - only admitted it was from a book after the person had left. He's had trouble in the past separating fact from fiction, and telling fairly elaborate untrue stories, but this is the first time it's been about something so serious (and potentially believable). Is DCFS going to call us? Is there something we can do to help him remember accurately and not tell these stories (which he seems to genuinely believe)?
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    • If ACS comes to your house KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT...(more) 9 hr 18 min ago
      everything you say will be twisted and misquoted and used to remove your children from your home. Be quiet, explain the kid made it up, and call a lawyer.
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  17. Special Needs Anyone with dc on focalin? 2-13-2016 11:01am (14 replies)
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    • There are several posts already below 2-13-2016 11:21am
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    • yes, can I help you. It works wonders for our son 2-13-2016 3:45pm
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      • Pls thank u, he started at 5, now 15 today. At 10 he was showing improvement in am at school by 1230/1 bad. He's almost 7 isn't that young for 15? 2-13-2016 3:48pm
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        • is it XR (extended release) 2-13-2016 3:51pm
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          • Yes 2-13-2016 3:51pm
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            • so you are saying mornings are fine, till 12:30 and then it wears off? 2-13-2016 3:53pm
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              • Yes 2-13-2016 3:53pm
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              • Not perfect but better. 2-13-2016 3:53pm
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                • that seems odd. how many days on the meds? 2-13-2016 3:54pm
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                  • Last week mon-fri 2-13-2016 3:54pm
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                    • That seems off. Call your doctor and discuss. One thing I know. Keep a journal of dates, times, and what is happening with the meds....(more) 2-13-2016 3:59pm
                      sometimes you have to change meds, dosage, etc.. good to keep a journal. Good luck. You'kk find the right dosage
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        • my son started at age 7 10 mg. Has stayed at 10mg. and is now in 4th grade. Dosage all depended on each individual. But it it's wearing off you might need extended release. 2-13-2016 3:52pm
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          • It is extended 2-13-2016 3:53pm
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        • how do you know it's wearing off? does he say this? 2-13-2016 4:04pm
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  18. Special Needs Ds has anxiety, on meds and has been doing REALLY great! I'm so happy at how well he's been doing for the past month or so. But yesterday, we were at a party and it was loud and...(more) 2-13-2016 10:45am (8 replies)
    crazy for a solid 2 hrs and by the end of it, he was like MOM, I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE. He said he was getting a strong wave of depression and anxiety. Once we were home, he was fine, said he felt better. He was very adamant that we leave when we were going bc he was getting extremely overwhelmed. He's always been able to express this, which I think is great. But the feeling coming on so strongly was a little bit disconcerting. I'm chalking it off to the mayhem of the party. Wdyt? He was totally fine and cool the rest of the night. And he has always been a kid who needed down and quiet time.
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    • Why disconcerting? He reached his limit and was able to recognize that 2-13-2016 10:45am
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    • I think he new he was getting over whemedd and good for him! 2-13-2016 10:47am
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    • Of course it was that 2-13-2016 10:47am
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    • I'd give him a big hug and be amazed that he was able to notice what was going on. And I'd be so happy that I listened to him. It sounds like he's doing great! 2-13-2016 10:47am
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    • seems fine to me….after two hours of noise you described I would be getting anxious too 2-13-2016 10:48am
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    • OP: thanks for the insight, everyone. I always worry about the waves of depression. A df of dh's used to say he would get those waves and it overwhelmed him so much that one...(more) 2-13-2016 11:04am
      night, he went out and shot himself in the head. I can't let that stick in my mind, but it does. Bc they used the same words. I need to let that go, I know.
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      • The waves of feeling like you are hopeless and in a dark place are different from the feelings of being overwhelmed with anxiety 2-13-2016 11:20am
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        • Thank you for clarifying 2-13-2016 11:43am
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  19. Special Needs - no subject -...(more) 2-12-2016 11:27pm (0 replies)
    Has anyone had a bad experience at Downtown Little school with a child on spectrum? Heard that kids on spectrum don't do well there.
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  20. Special Needs I'm reading dcs on focalin 15 mg at 11, how can I feel comfortable raising 7 year old from. 10...(more) 2-12-2016 8:54pm (4 replies)
    So quickly?
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    • it's weight, not age, and you know nothing about the kids about whom you are reading. your doctor knows better than random internet reads 2-12-2016 8:55pm
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      • Dr said it's not weight at all 2-12-2016 8:56pm
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        • mine has always said weight, not age. I guess YMMV. but stand by doing what the dr says, as opposed to beinhg concerned bc you read stuff on the internet. 2-12-2016 8:57pm
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        • Correct - it is NOT weight! A hefty 12yo boy can easily be on a lower dose than a wispy 12yo girl. 2-12-2016 9:05pm
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  21. Special Needs I've made no friends at my DD's private SN school snd it's already mid February. I have tons of friends but was hoping for friends with SN children. Any thoughts? 2-12-2016 8:36pm (47 replies)
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    • Volunteer 2-12-2016 8:37pm
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    • Are you involved in school. Volunteer and you will make a ton of friends 2-12-2016 8:38pm
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      • Class parent and volunteer at events. I have tons of friends so it's not an issue of social awkwardness 2-12-2016 9:02pm
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    • How often do the parents in your class get together? Can you organize a moms night out or parents night out? Or a get together for kids and parents on a weekend? 2-12-2016 8:48pm
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      • They never get together. I feel like many whom I've reached out to have an attire that the SN is temporary and that their kid is too good for the school if that makes sense 2-12-2016 9:03pm
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        • // attitude not attire 2-12-2016 9:03pm
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        • If your kid is at Gaynor I know exactly what you mean 2-12-2016 9:18pm
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          • Really? Can you tell me more? 2-12-2016 9:22pm
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            • There are a bunch of parents there who are determined that their children will get "fixed" in a few years and be able to move back to mainstream. And in a few cases they're...(more) 2-12-2016 9:24pm
              probably right. We got snubbed by those parents. It was annoying but I decided I didn't give a damn
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              • The funny thing is that our NP is telling us already to prepare for two or three years max at this school before mainstreaming but I don't care, do not wear it like a badge. Also...(more) 2-12-2016 9:25pm
                I know MS means like Dwight or Calhoun and not Dalton or Spence
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              • Really? I am a Gaynor parent and I know no one saying that - at least not in lower years. I think my DC will move on, but we are in the minority. (Could it be me you are talking...(more) 2-13-2016 12:07am
                about????)
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    • I didn't make friends until I put myself out there more. I am not saying you're NOT just that that's how it went for me - when I approached people to set up coffees etc., that's...(more) 2-12-2016 9:03pm
      when I started making friends.
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      • I promise I know how to make friends, I'm super social. I thought it would not be so tough at a SN school but I find people quite stand off ish 2-12-2016 9:05pm
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    • Are you in a nyc school? 2-12-2016 9:06pm
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      • Yes in Manhattan 2-12-2016 9:07pm
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    • What grade is your child in 2-12-2016 9:10pm
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      • 1st 2-12-2016 9:23pm
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        • Young. I am surprised people are so standoffish 2-12-2016 9:23pm
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          • Me too. 2-12-2016 9:24pm
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            • Have you tried to meet outside of your class. Maybe it is just that particular group 2-12-2016 9:25pm
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              • This is a good idea. Classes are small. Some parents are so filthy rich (like .000001 percent) and so they are also standoff-ish. It's very strange 2-12-2016 9:27pm
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    • Send an email to the moms in your dcs class for a ladies night out. 2-12-2016 9:16pm
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      • ITA and say something like "no talking about IEPs allowed, this is a night for fun!" or something else flip to show that you just want to get together and not necessarily bond...(more) 2-12-2016 9:20pm
        over SN stuff. Since it sounds like this crowd of parents is not into SN parenthood.
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        • I went to coffee with one mom and she was like my kid is out of here soon. I met her DC and I'm sorry but there's no way 2-12-2016 9:23pm
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          • / and she barely wanted to have coffee in the first place 2-12-2016 9:24pm
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          • I won't ask but I am dying to know what school 2-12-2016 9:24pm
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          • A lot of parents are still in denial 2-12-2016 9:26pm
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            • Op: I get this. But it seems like they view it as temporary and don't want to make friends. Like the whole thing is a nightmare to be avoided at all costs 2-12-2016 9:28pm
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              • I totally understand the attitude you are describing. I agree with the suggestion to look outside your immediate class. I really think it depends on the group. I know at our...(more) 2-12-2016 9:35pm
                school one class always seems to have the friendly, easy going moms and the other does not.
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                • This is a great suggestion, thanks. It makes me annoyed that people's egos are tied to their DC's school success 2-12-2016 9:36pm
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                  • I know--I hate that type. I also found that being stuck on the playground together after school was good for meeting other parents. Not so helpful now, but maybe in the spring. I...(more) 2-12-2016 9:43pm
                    hope you find your people soon!
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              • Yes, if you eat the pomegranate seed, you must reside in Hades FOREVER I know that type. 2-12-2016 9:37pm
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          • Okay but can you still be friends with her? Or is it just too hard because she's in denial? 2-12-2016 9:27pm
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            • I bought her meal and she never offered to meet again. I'm not gong to insist and plus I found her bitter and angry so not worth it 2-12-2016 9:28pm
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              • Yeah she does not sound worth your time. I agree with the suggestion above to look outside your particular class. Keep looking, you will find a kindred spirit! 2-12-2016 9:33pm
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      • This, a df in my neighborhood invites everyone, it is called Mama Needs a Drink 2-12-2016 9:29pm
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        • I love it 2-12-2016 9:30pm
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      • Op I will definitely pitch a mom's night out 2-12-2016 9:30pm
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    • It took a while before I made parent friends at ds's SN school. It will happen. 2-12-2016 9:51pm
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    • Sometimes you get a class like this. We had no problem with older ds, but younger ds' SN classes tend to be really unsocial. Nobody responds to playdate requests, there are...(more) 2-13-2016 12:00pm
      almost no all-class birthday parties, etc.
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      • OP--there is a range of parents at Gaynor IMO:...(more) 2-13-2016 12:07pm
        OP, my child has been at Gaynor for three years and find there is a range of parents. I have limited means for sure but have found several warm, friendly parents. There is also a group of mean-spirited parents there who are like a JHS or HS clique but I have seen this at other public and private schools—this is not Gaynor unique. . Stay away from the clique parents as the rest of us do and find your friends! These parents could use social skills class but they are in total denial so do not waste your breath! This is the perfect school for my kiddo who is learning so much.
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        • Op: we Love the school and I'm sure I have completely outted myself. Thanks for your advice 2-13-2016 12:49pm
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    • I'm late to this, but I've not been into making friends at dc's SN school for a couple of reasons. First, I have an older child and a network of friends that I met when oldest...(more) 2-13-2016 2:09pm
      dc was young. Their children are NT but have known and played with my SN dc since he was a baby. I enjoy the parents, and with dc is SN school all day I am happy to have him play with NT kids outside of school. Second, I have had some bad experiences with SN parents. In one case my dc made much more progress than theirs over ages 3-6 and it just became very awkward with some envy and frustration from their end. Others have seemed to live and breathe some sort of SN lifestyle. I accept dc's diagnosis and challenges but that doesn't mean I want my whole life to be SN world.
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      • Op: I get this and appreciate the reply. My DD plays with her NT friends made in early education and she is a borderline SN child who will mainstream early. Perhaps I am meeting...(more) 4 hr 34 min ago
        people like you who really don't want to be associated with the SN label and are trying to avoid others in the same boat. I guess I will just stick with my gang if existing friend because it sounds like everyone is trying to distance themselves from their child's DX
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        • Is your dc in first or k? 4 hr 23 min ago
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  22. Special Needs Dr said can write strong iep letter saying dc is danger needs aid, she knows it's not true but for adhd will only get 504. The school will go nuts if they see such a letter. What...(more) 2-12-2016 8:36pm (9 replies)
    do I do?
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    • doctor should not lie 2-12-2016 8:36pm
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    • What? 2-12-2016 8:37pm
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    • 504 is fine but you must stay on the teacher to adhere to the supports 2-12-2016 8:41pm
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    • if things are not working do a neuropsych eval. that will get you an iep and the supports you need 2-12-2016 8:53pm
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      • don't worry about what the school things. if you are worried about your child not being able to keep their head above water in a gen ed classroom. you don't need permission from...(more) 2-12-2016 8:56pm
        anyone to get a private neuropsych eval. we did a monthly payment plan for ours, they will work with you,
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    • Why will she get only a 504? School already said it? 2-12-2016 8:55pm
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    • Does your child need more support that a 504 will give? If not, it's fine. 2-12-2016 8:59pm
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    • Having an aide has nothing to do with an IEP vs a 504 2-13-2016 11:22am
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  23. Special Needs Can you outgrow adhd? 2-12-2016 8:35pm (10 replies)
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    • we said no, but it can change up at puberty 2-12-2016 8:35pm
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      • Lost the post 2-12-2016 8:37pm
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    • They used to think people did, but IMO no. (I have ADHD and will never outgrow it, so that is my bias. My older dc also has it.) 2-12-2016 8:37pm
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      • Is it on spectrum? 2-12-2016 8:37pm
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        • I don't know...I think it can be? 2-12-2016 8:46pm
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    • there are kids who take off after adolescence, just had a few lagging developmental delays..i recall a few boys like this in my high school class, don't you. often the chubby,...(more) 2-12-2016 8:59pm
      class clowns who suddenly at 16 join jv footballs. i had two friends like this. one daydreamy add type and one adhd class clown, mayor type.
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    • i think of being adhd like being left handed in a right handed world just magnified. we adapt and find our way. 2-12-2016 9:02pm
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    • Very often the hyperactive, impulsive type of adhd goes away after puberty. That is why you don't see high school kids jumping up ad down in class every minute. The lack of...(more) 2-12-2016 9:02pm
      ability to focus and organize does not go away.
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      • i'm hyperaware/daydreamy with adhd. once i got to college i learned how to manage myself. i discovered lists. i strategically reduced the scope of what i tried to tackle in...(more) 2-12-2016 9:13pm
        a window of time (while taking full time class load). I am far more successful longitudinally speaking than 95% of my high school graduating class professionally and personally. i have many add/adhd mom friends with the same story. on a longitudinal scale i've outperformed most of the peers I had taking AP classes in high school. Just sayin. I never took AP classes but hit my stride in college and grad school.
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    • I'm 45 and I haven't, but you learn how. Make accommodations and the hyperactivity fades too somewhat 2-12-2016 9:16pm
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  24. Special Needs Has anyone had to switch from brand name Focalin XR to the generic? Did you see a difference with the generic? 2-12-2016 8:29pm (0 replies)
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  25. Special Needs Can adhd be outgrown? 2-12-2016 8:25pm (7 replies)
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    • no 2-12-2016 8:25pm
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    • I mean....kind of? You can become more mature and learn better coping mechanisms, and learn to deal/cope better with impulsivity but it doesn't go away. 2-12-2016 8:26pm
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    • sort of. puberty can change the brain up and make it much easier to manage 2-12-2016 8:26pm
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    • i don't think so, but many of the most difficult symptoms (like impulsivity) can be mitigated with maturity, and once they no longer have to succeed in the very narrow spectrum of...(more) 2-12-2016 8:27pm
      "school success" and can chart paths that complement their skills, it can be managed much more easily.
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    • I have heard that sometimes things change with puberty. But mainly a lot of the "collateral" stuff goes away, people learn they benefit from taking their medicine, they stop being...(more) 2-12-2016 8:30pm
      rebellious, they set up their lives in a way to accommodate the add..
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    • hyperactive adhd very often goes away after puberty. The nervous system calms down. Inattentive adhd tends not to go away but people learn ways to deal with it and technology...(more) 2-12-2016 9:06pm
      helps tremendously.
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      • My nephew was hard to be around he was so impulsive, couldn't stop moving, etc. as a little boy. He is now super disciplined and is a marine. 2-12-2016 9:08pm
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