Special Needs

  1. Special Needs I just smacked my ds in the face. It wasn't hard, but I can't be,I've I did that. He was having a total meltdown about his sister taking a bath instead of a shower and how he...(more) 4 hr 25 min ago (10 replies)
    wouldn't get int he shower until I promised him his sister would take a shower. Then he started punching me, and I just smacked him. I didn't think. It just happened. I feel awful, but it totally worked. He looked at me and said I can't believe I just did that and then he calmly got in the shower.
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    • An appropriate spank does work, but should be a last resort, as it was in this case 4 hr 21 min ago
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      • I was shocked it worked frankly. We don't spank. He has mild autism too, hence the meltdown that made no sense. I am practiced at staying calm during these, but then he started...(more) 4 hr 18 min ago
        punching me, and it just happened. But his brain was totally stuck and this got it unstuck. I feel awful
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    • fine he needed it 4 hr 4 min ago
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    • I'm sorry it happened, but please don't torture yourself. He was out of control and you reacted. You didn't mean to, and it's not like this is the start of an awful new pattern....(more) 3 hr 59 min ago
      Call it an isolated incident and maybe get ds's therapist involved in some behavioral techniques if he hits you again.
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      • Thank you for understanding. It was crazy, and yes, I need to figure out what to do if he gets aggressive again 3 hr 43 min ago
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        • Focus on figuring out strategies and I promise you will feel more in control, and in turn that will keep it from happening again. More tools in the toolbox means you will keep...(more) 3 hr 41 min ago
          control yourself, and will feel more confident you will know what to do if he has another violent meltdown.
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          • Thanks. The meltdowns are regular, and I know how to handle them, and he has gotten physical before, and I remained calm and either helped him diffuse or waited for the meltdown...(more) 3 hr 37 min ago
            to pass. It was just so different and unexpected. I will try to get up the guts to talk to his therapist about it. Skill building for both of us is the point of therapy after all
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            • I bet the therapist won't judge at all. You're asking for help to *prevent* something happening - nothing to judge there because you are taking steps. 3 hr 29 min ago
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    • I remember reading in an autism book - m,aybe even a JM one - where the adult autistic son was freaking out and told his momn to hit him HARD on the shoulder.. she did.. and he...(more) 2 hr 58 min ago
      said thanks, b/c he was like a record stuck on skipping and it needs a nudge through and this is how he saw his spiralling. Maybe fine a way to work that physical contact into a self-calming ritual?
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      • Thanks. Will see what we can figure out. A record skipping is exactly how I described it to him when we talked after. His brain was just stuck and he couldn't get it unstuck 6 min ago
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  2. Special Needs So funny, ds scripting Frozen to the T. 5 hr 57 min ago (0 replies)
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  3. Special Needs DD is and is terrified of noises. I carry noise canceling ear phones at all times. I can not walk outside in a parking lot, busy street, etc. without her freaking if she even...(more) 6 hr 43 min ago (13 replies)
    sees a truck. She also has no patience and goes from 0-10 over something with throwing and having temper tantrums that are physical. How can I teach this kid to cope with being upset and disappointed? I told her to hit pillows but we are rarely around pillows. So frustrated. I am also having real challenges getting her out of diapers. She refuses to even go near the bathroom. She was speech delayed but no longer qualifies for that but does still get OT and fine motor skills therapy.
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    • Cbt 6 hr 42 min ago
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      • For me or her? 6 hr 42 min ago
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    • sounds like she has a real sensitivity to sensory input and needs the OT 6 hr 41 min ago
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      • the OT is in gym class at school. No other OT 6 hr 41 min ago
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        • It is for GROSS Motor 6 hr 41 min ago
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          • she needs OT for sensory issues 6 hr 40 min ago
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            • How do I find someone for this? 6 hr 37 min ago
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              • You need to pay for private OT. Neither school nor medical OT covers sensory issues generally 6 hr 34 min ago
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    • Misophonia...(more) 6 hr 40 min ago
    • how old is she? 6 hr 40 min ago
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      • Just turned 5 and this fall she is going to full day K in a regular class. the diaper issue is very big for me right now 6 hr 38 min ago
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    • It sounds like she needs much more therapy than what she is getting in gym 6 hr 39 min ago
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      • The problem is that she is a perfect angel in front of therapists. She just does this to us. 6 hr 37 min ago
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  4. Special Needs Just turned 3 yo girl constantly puts her hand in fron t of her face when she's tr ying to talk (very limited speech) and walks on her tip toes. If you call her name she doesn't...(more) 9 hr 19 min ago (3 replies)
    respond or acknowledge, could this be autism?
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    • At that age, ANYTHING can be autism. Or not. What matters is function. If you gave a concern, go to developmental pediatrician or EI eval and get a sense of if I terventions are...(more) 9 hr 15 min ago
      called for. Never a mistake.
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    • that sounds autistic to me and that she is really behind - i would get on it and call for services STAT. 9 hr 5 min ago
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    • The best possible thing you can do is get her evaluated by an expert ASAP. I am not thinking in terms of autism or not autism, I am thinking that you are describing a dd who needs...(more) 9 hr 3 min ago
      help. The best way to get her help is with a strong evaluation. GL.
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  5. Special Needs Chelsea Piers camps - considering ice skating or gymnastics for 7 YO DS with pragmatic language problems and social reticence but no behavior problems. Both are sports he enjoys....(more) 9 hr 33 min ago (0 replies)
    Not a team sports kid. Likes adult attention but does not act out to get it.
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  6. Special Needs I feel like eating a whole tray of Mozart Kugeln. And a bagel. 10 hr 45 min ago (0 replies)
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  7. Special Needs Gopin or Adelphi for a neuropsych eval? Gopin would be a money stretch but would like to get best eval possible. 10 hr 47 min ago (5 replies)
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    • What insurance? Blue Cross/Shield gave us almost half of Gopin's fee back. 10 hr 45 min ago
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      • cigna -- they're terrible and Gopin's fee will be between 4800 and 7200. 10 hr 12 min ago
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        • Wow--Full price was only $3500 when we used her in Feb. 2012! 9 hr 56 min ago
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        • Try Jennifer Oratio, I heard she does sliding scale 9 hr 55 min ago
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          • Np: Jennifer Oratio is fantastic. She's with Lennox Hill and they charge on s sliding scale. She was not our NP but the supervising NP. When it came time to my IEP...she was there...(more) 9 hr 17 min ago
            On the phone for us for a long time...totally went out of her way to help.
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  8. Special Needs Are there any language abroad programs available before high school? 10 hr 48 min ago (0 replies)
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  9. Special Needs Do you really think there's a benefit to an all women's college? Are there any all male colleges? 10 hr 54 min ago (3 replies)
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    • There used to be, but most are integrated now. And I'm not a fan of gender-segregated college--you need to learn how to manage in a world and workplace that will be integrated. 10 hr 52 min ago
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      • OP I just don't get the idea of college not being engineered toward your career? It seems like you have a "major" and you pay for it based on future earnings power, but the...(more) 10 hr 50 min ago
        reality of it is it's not really catered toward being useful for career attributes.
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        • np: I don't consider majors as career training. College, for me, is about learning to think critically. 10 hr 28 min ago
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  10. Special Needs 4yo dd had speech therapy for this past school year. This summer I notice a lot more drooling, and realize I should keep up with some exercises. So, we have straws, but ... what...(more) 10 hr 59 min ago (3 replies)
    else? I can reach out to his speech therapist for suggestions ,but wondering what has worked for folks here
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    • We had a horn kit and other tools but the SLP is the one who used them. Maybe your dd still needs to be receiving speech? 10 hr 57 min ago
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      • op - Oh, she'll go back in September. She's just not a 12 month kid, so she has no services in summer 10 hr 57 min ago
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        • Oh got it. Yeah, I would reach out to your SLP and ask about gum, spinning toothbrushes, blowing balloons, etc. 10 hr 54 min ago
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  11. Special Needs Can anyone suggest good social skills books or movies for a 10 yo with Asperger's? On making friends, etc? 11 hr 17 min ago (5 replies)
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    • I like the Social Thinking books but they are geared more for the parent than the kid, but they are still really helpful. 11 hr 14 min ago
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    • Asperkids' Book of Secret Social Rules. Also, I know it's kind of babyish, but a lot of the little kids' cartoons on PBS kids or Disney Jr. have social skills themes. Stuff like...(more) 11 hr 3 min ago
      Sofia the First.
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      • My rising 5th grader still gets a lot out of these, he just pretends it's his little brother who chose the program. ;) 11 hr 2 min ago
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    • If it's a girl, the American Girl books are amazing. 7 hr 27 min ago
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    • I think there is an iPad app where you can make your own social stories and videos? Anyone know what I'm talking about? 7 hr 8 min ago
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  12. Special Needs Would Gopin be a good neuropsych for a child in a mainstream nyc private? 13 hr 47 min ago (3 replies)
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    • We used her for a child who was in ms school, and has remained so, but public not private. She had a good rapport with a complicated dc. 13 hr 41 min ago
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    • She gives good recommendations, if sonewhat over inclusive. That might scare the school off but it will ensure she 9 hr 32 min ago
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      • Makes sure they get what they need. 9 hr 32 min ago
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  13. Special Needs How is the new Gateway? We are applying and like it. Any families on that can answer questions? I will sticky. Thanks 14 hr 6 min ago (0 replies)
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  14. Special Needs If a doctor says they have a sliding scale fee starting at $225, does that mean that's the most or the least they will charge. 14 hr 28 min ago (1 reply)
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    • Sounds like the least 12 hr 43 min ago
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  15. Special Needs My daughter is at churchill and we want to move to North Carolina there is LD school called Fletcher and I wanted to know since the state pays for her to go to churchill will they...(more) 18 hr 4 min ago (8 replies)
    also pay in NC? How does it work?
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    • You must move? 18 hr 3 min ago
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      • ^if your finances are great, go for it. For me, I'd have to stay where dc's education is paid for. 18 hr 2 min ago
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    • each state is different, you have to research the options in NC. wrightslaw.com might have some info 18 hr 3 min ago
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    • I would call Fletcher and ask them how people pay and whether they get reimbursed. 18 hr 2 min ago
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      • NP - and what the burden of proof is. What gets funded in one state might not get funded in another state. 18 hr ago
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    • you start all over again in terms of IEP and schooling, they may feel they have a public school that can meet your child's needs, this would even be the case if you moved...(more) 17 hr 30 min ago
      somewhere else in NY state
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      • ^ I should also add that they may very well be able to educate your child in PS somewhere else. You should research the school system in the areas you are thinking of moving 15 hr 6 min ago
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    • The good news is that the cost of living as well as schooling is generally far less in NC. 15 hr 1 min ago
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  16. Special Needs HFA ds has been looking forward to his day camp's big overnight trip, but as it approaches he's getting nervous and starting to say he doesn't want to go. Tips on helping him...(more) 19 hr 1 min ago (4 replies)
    past the fear?
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    • How old? 18 hr 46 min ago
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      • 9. Going with a lot of kids he knows very well, some since infancy. 17 hr 36 min ago
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    • No answer, but I'm dealing with a similar issue. 9 year old dd (ADHD/LDs) has been talking all summer about spending a weekend at her best friend's country house. (She has only se...(more) 17 hr 26 min ago
      en her friend once or twice this summer). Now after much arranging it's been scheduled for next weekend, and all of a sudden she's saying she doesn't think she wants to go. I'm not sure how much to push. I think she'd have a great time and the independence would be good for her.
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    • lots of prepping- probably nervous because it isn't predictable. Can you find out the schedule 15 hr 35 min ago
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  17. Special Needs Chamberlain School in MA - therapeutic boarding school - anyone familiar with it? 19 hr 31 min ago (2 replies)
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    • yes. a girl jumped out a second story window there this year 15 hr 35 min ago
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      • Was this in the news there? 10 hr 38 min ago
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  18. Special Needs My aunt has no known friends, has had maybe two romantic relationships, and has serious trouble understanding another person's point of view in a family social situation. She can...(more) 7-30-2015 12:45am (13 replies)
    cOme off as illogical, rigid, and sometimes either oversensitive or flat-affect. She used to be obsessed with Egypt lore and now seems addicted to golf, to the exclusion of most other recreation. Could this be autistic, even though she otherwise seems normal (not quirky)?
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    • Imo, oh yes. 7-30-2015 1:54am
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    • You betcha. Is this one if those families where it's not spoken of, that nothing's wrong with Aunt she's just quirky 20 hr 32 min ago
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    • 99% sure she's an Aspie. People older than about 25 were not diagnosed as kids, nobody knew about any of this in those days. Does she have a chapter of GRASP near her? (Peer...(more) 20 hr 13 min ago
      support and socialization group for adult Aspies).
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      • OP's aunt might not appreciate this type of referral at this point in her life. 20 hr 6 min ago
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        • Never too late to make friends and get help dealing with the wider world. 19 hr 43 min ago
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          • True but her aunt probably doesn't think she is an aspie so suggesting a support group/organization when she hasn't sought out a diagnosis or help throughout her lifetime might...(more) 19 hr 16 min ago
            be.z...awkward
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            • I know people dxed as adults who were so relieved to finally have an explanation for their difficulties. 16 hr 53 min ago
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              • Np: yes but know there are others who take it the other way and can't cope with it. There is a risk with confronting adults. This has been researched. 9 hr 54 min ago
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                • ^and there is a big difference from an adult who's dx gets diagnosed, reads about it and has a light bulb moment vs a family member suggesting it. Family dynamics play a part. 9 hr 51 min ago
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      • Np: oh, they certainly did know about it. But i'd say the majority didnt have a name for it, or less precise diagnosis. And a big part was seeing all the symptoms and denying that...(more) 18 hr 36 min ago
        the kid was "retarded".
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    • I know someone like you describe and they have serious depression. It could be mental illness as well. 19 hr ago
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      • A lot of unremediated Aspie adults have depression/anxiety issues, it's a consequence of struggling through life with social skills challenges. 17 hr 35 min ago
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    • I'd be cautious about trying to assign a diagnosis to someone. We seek professions to diagnose our children. There could be many things that might explain your aunt's behavior. I...(more) 15 hr 44 min ago
      had an uncle like that. In fact he was gay and unable to come out to his parents/siblings until his 70s. It affected how he related to family, his seeming repetitive/rigid behavior (since he was hiding something it was easier to refer to a consistent hobby ), his flat affect/oversensitivity... the point is that you just don't know.
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  19. Special Needs Ds already has an IEP for speech and OT. Just got an ADHD diagnosis. School is starting soon. Do I write an email now letting know of ADHD? 7-29-2015 8:10pm (23 replies)
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    • This post has been disliked 5 times. showTo what end? Earning badges? 7-29-2015 8:11pm
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    • Did the dxing person have educational accommodations that da needs? 7-29-2015 8:13pm
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      • He wrote a couple of things like sitting near the front of the room and then "consider" modifying IEP. I don't really understand the communication process. 7-29-2015 8:15pm
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        • Was it a neuropsychologist? 7-29-2015 8:21pm
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          • Psychologist 7-29-2015 8:24pm
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        • ^^^but shouldn't his teacher know he has ADHD? And shouldn't I let the school know now in case it somehow impacts class placement? 7-29-2015 8:27pm
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          • The dx alone is not as meaningful as the recommendations with it. The psychologist needs to give you more concrete suggestions for making the classroom more geared to help ds...(more) 7-29-2015 8:30pm
            succeed. What does he NEED to be successful? That's what needs to get written into his IEP.
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            • I know but when do I communicate to the school, how and with whom? 7-29-2015 8:32pm
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              • You need to ask to reopen his IEP to include the new accommodations. But first you need to know what those are. 7-29-2015 8:33pm
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                • ^once you know what you want ask for a reconvene ASAP 7-29-2015 8:33pm
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                  • Thanks, meeting with his psychologist tomrrow will ask to clarify, but do I email his teacher before school starts or just ask for IEP reconvene? 7-29-2015 8:38pm
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                    • The teacher gets her marching order FROM the IEP. You need to have a meeting first, change the IEP, and then talk to the teacher. 7-29-2015 8:40pm
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                      • Ok, thanks so much. 7-29-2015 8:41pm
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                        • Ask what the behaviors are that need to be addressed when you reconvene the team. Need to sit in front, repeated instructions, help packing up--organization, etc. You need to have...(more) 7-29-2015 10:10pm
                          concrete suggestions .
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                      • But OP can still lewt the teacher know ahead of time. It can take a while for the IEP to be modified. 7-29-2015 10:14pm
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                        • That's true. I just wouldn't do it until the psychologist gives very solid and concrete recommendations so the teacher knows what she needs to do this year. 7-29-2015 10:29pm
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                    • You need a letter from the psych saying your was diagnosed and what the recommended accommodations are. You send that to the head of CSE, the school psychologist and your son's...(more) 7-29-2015 10:34pm
                      teacher. Send a very friendly note letting them know and saying you are looking forward to working with all of them and hope they had a great summer.
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                    • You should let them know, along w/note from psych. ADHD does not necessarily get your IEP reopened so just let them know for now - they may just implement recommendations like...(more) 7-29-2015 10:39pm
                      putting him near front of class. Then you can ask for meeting when you and the school can see what he needs.
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          • Who diagnosed? It needs to be an M.D. since it is medical. You should let the...(more) 7-29-2015 10:32pm
            school know and send the doctor's letter with the dx and suggestions. However without an academic reason you do not necessarily get accommodations, so if the school does nothing you may get accommodations after your dc doesn't pay attention, acts up, etc if he does. Not all kids with adhd do poorly in school or misbehave.
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            • FWIW no one I know got an ADHD dx from anyone but a psychologist and the school system definitely accepted it. 7-29-2015 10:34pm
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              • That sounds great. Our school would only accept from M.D. since it is a neurological (medical) problem but our school may be stricter than most. 7-29-2015 10:36pm
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          • You should let them know but it really would just affect where he sits in class which can be changed. 7-29-2015 10:36pm
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    • Is your child in private or public school? 7-30-2015 12:54am
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  20. Special Needs I am looking for a psychologist for my 9yo son who, I think, is suffering from depression and anxiety. I am in NYC, upper west side. Any suggestions? 7-29-2015 4:31pm (9 replies)
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    • no suggestions but I am sorry. My 8yo has major anxiety and maybe depression and it took us months to find someone that took our insurance and could see her quickly. She has been...(more) 7-29-2015 4:35pm
      in therapy 8 months now and it has helped. Now the therapist is leaving the area but luckily she was able to find someone she trusts to take her patients. Good luck. It can be hard but it will make a difference
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      • Glad to hear your daughter is making progress. I feel a bit adrift and don't really know where to start. He is such a sweet boy but tells me that he is sad for no reason at...(more) 7-29-2015 4:41pm
        times and he cries at the smallest things. Hopefully we will find the right person..
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        • Sounds much like my DD. Though I think part of the issue is she is dyslexic and struggling at school last year. We have her in a better school for this year. One thing that has...(more) 7-29-2015 4:48pm
          helped my daughter is to let her know she is not the only one who feels sad sometimes and it is ok to be sad (but not mean or rude). And don't minimize his feelings - just be there to talk to him. My DD wanted to find someone to talk to that wasn't mom or dad. I think a 3rd party has been very helpful
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    • Still there?...(more) 7-29-2015 4:51pm
      Try Stephanie Nichols, Ph.D. ,Union Sq W. 917.968.8074
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      • Also...(more) 7-29-2015 4:52pm
        Seth Aronson, PsyD on CPW
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        • THx!! 7-29-2015 4:56pm
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          • GL. im a psychologist and these two are terrific 7-29-2015 4:59pm
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    • Hi OP, my son started seeing dr. Alexandra Degeorge a few months ago and he's doing so much better. She's currently on 57th st and 6th avenue but August 1st will have a new office...(more) 7-29-2015 7:37pm
      In west 80s!
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    • David Gottesfeld, Google for number. He's very good. 19 hr 7 min ago
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  21. Special Needs How long does the dyspraxia dx hold until? Is it better to have another dx for K? 7-29-2015 2:21pm (18 replies)
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    • I would think about what services you want to obtain and work backwards from there. Dyspraxia worked fine for us for K because all we needed was OT and PT, but if your dc's needs...(more) 7-29-2015 2:23pm
      are more intense and affect education more, it may be a very good idea to evaluate more comprehensively and potentially get a different dx.
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      • We should probably do an educational one. He's not very verbal yet at 4, so we need speech, pt, ot. Not sure if he can handle a regular ed curriculum at the moment. 7-29-2015 2:24pm
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        • Yes if he is language delayed and may have other delays I strongly recommend more comprehensive testing. If you are in NYC, a lot of people do neuropsychological testing to help...(more) 7-29-2015 2:25pm
          them figure out the K transition.
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          • Yep in NYC, and I've seen some praised people on the board but I really don't want to pay 5k for an evaluation. 7-29-2015 2:29pm
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            • np: honestly i'd reach out early to the DOE/CSE people and try to get their eval done early enough that you could do another if you had to, but not just as a matter of course. for...(more) 7-29-2015 2:35pm
              K the dx will matter less than educational needs.
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              • I got the feeling there needed to be a dx for services in K and up. That's what I got from his speech therapist, of course he should have another workup for educational purposes...(more) 7-29-2015 2:37pm
                Too.
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                • A dx always helps NYC take you more seriously. It's not necessary if the educational needs are very obvious but it sure does help. 7-29-2015 2:40pm
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                  • Oh ok. He has dyspraxia as a catch all dx because nothing else fit. 7-29-2015 2:40pm
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                    • What kind of preschool services does he get/what kind of preschool does he attend? 7-29-2015 2:41pm
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                      • One that takes a wide variety of kids. He gets pt, ot, speech and therapeutic play. 7-29-2015 2:44pm
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                        • Is it a CPSE center-based preschool, or a mainstream preschool where he gets SEIT support? I ask because if it's the former they will give you much more guidance for the turning 5...(more) 7-29-2015 2:47pm
                          process.
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                          • Cpse. Maybe I'm not asking enough questions because no one has mentioned K. He just turned 4 in March so maybe they think he has more time. 7-29-2015 2:48pm
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                            • Yeah, it doesn't start for real until the fall but you can ask them something like "Where have kids with profiles like my son's gone on to kindergarten? What kinds of classrooms?...(more) 7-29-2015 2:50pm
                              What kind of evaluations did they get and when? Did they need dxes in order to get what they needed through the DOE?"
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                              • Thank you. You put it into perspective. 7-29-2015 2:53pm
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            • Doing the NP eval this year or next could be the best money you will ever spend. Your dc could end up in a school/program that will meet his needs, include the therapies Eric...(more) 7-29-2015 2:49pm
              that he needs and it will all be paid for. Getting that kind of support now could make all the difference for what his options are in the next several years. GL
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    • My DS had an apraxia/dyspraxia diagnosis at 2.5 and is about to enter kindergarten. CSE gave him the "speech" classification and he will be getting ST and OT in a MS public...(more) 7-29-2015 4:14pm
      elementary school here in the city. We never did the neuropsych route because we were comfortable with him going to his zoned school with related services. We think he is on the very mild end of the dx at this point.
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      • np: Mine has a "working dx" of dyspraxia/apraxia. He's going into 1st, gets ST/OT/PT and adaptive phys ed. in a specialized self-contained class at our neighborhood school in...(more) 7-29-2015 4:26pm
        NYC. It's working great. T5 went well with support from our CPSE preschool without a formal np.
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  22. Special Needs Why does everyone love salsberg so much? what does he do/get that is so above and beyond? 7-29-2015 1:29pm (27 replies)
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    • He is extremely intuitive, understands kids very quickly, knows the schools, writes very good reports, advocates and testifies VERY well. He's the whole package for us. 7-29-2015 1:31pm
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      • ITA - AND the DOE respects his opinion. Merely having his name on the report was a game changer for us 7-29-2015 4:49pm
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        • respectfully, did you have another report before this that the board of ed didn't respect? 7-30-2015 12:54am
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          • We actually did. And we had to waste a year to get better advice from Salsberg to get better and more specific recommendations. He advocated for our dc every step of the way and...(more) 13 hr 47 min ago
            really brought nuanced perspectives fwiw.
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    • Don't know him but loved Dorta fwiw 7-29-2015 1:34pm
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      • Why does he never dx ASD? 7-29-2015 1:55pm
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        • This, I get the impression he's the reverse of many other np's, who also dislike dual diagnoses but will diagnose ASD if both ASD and ADHD traits are present. While Salsberg will...(more) 7-29-2015 4:28pm
          diagnose ADHD only if traits of both are present.
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          • np: he's working in the nyc system and some schools want specific classifications, he gives the dx that he feels will get that child into that school. That criteria is different...(more) 7-29-2015 4:31pm
            from the DSM
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            • Ah. When we got an np, I was more interested in figuring out what was going on with my kid than in private school placement. 7-29-2015 4:46pm
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              • He gives all that too, it's in the report. He just knows the nyc schools and what they want in their reports which is highly regarded. 7-29-2015 4:50pm
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          • np: that explains a lot, actually 22 hr 25 min ago
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        • He diagnosed our complex quirky dc with ASD - but was much more focused on the practical recommendations than on the label. He explained to us that it is a big spectrum and...(more) 13 hr 51 min ago
          how the label itself doesn't explain all needs or interventions. and was very clear on what school classification was needed for us to get what we needed. Can't say enough good things about him and his team
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    • b/c he knows the nyc sn private special ed system and culture and has a proven track record of placing kids well in it. If you don't need that then there are other great nps out...(more) 7-29-2015 3:34pm
      there.
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    • Because there are several very active participants to this board who have had good experiences with him and they shout his praises to the rooftops. I have a friend at a very...(more) 7-29-2015 5:07pm
      selective special ed. school in the city who said they accept kids DESPITE his reports, which they find are very cookie cutter.
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      • It's similar to Agin, EVERYONE recommended Agin here years ago and if you went to Cross, it was like failing your child. It's the same handful of people. Now people have posted...(more) 18 hr 47 min ago
        about good experiences with other NP's, dev ped's and other psychs.
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        • np: and people are even saying no need for burb families to come into nyc! 14 hr 50 min ago
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    • If u have doubts about salsberg try Janine pollack - amazing. Brooklyn heights but well worth the trip :) 7-29-2015 7:39pm
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      • does she testify and give schools recommendations? 7-29-2015 8:59pm
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        • Yes she did both for us. 19 hr 28 min ago
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      • she often has very long waiting lists, but yes everyone raves about her 15 hr 4 min ago
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      • She referred us to Salsberg : ) when she was busy 13 hr 50 min ago
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    • I have no idea. He was arrogant, refused to really listen, and wrote cookie-cutter reports for two of my dcs that were pretty off. 22 hr 26 min ago
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      • Interesting- I know a family that saved for months and borrowed $$ money to have their dc evaluated by Salsberg. They were so relieved when he didn't dx with ASD- guess what he...(more) 14 hr 51 min ago
        was wrong. He also recommended MS for my son and thought i was nuts when i told him we were putting putting him in GB.
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        • Np: I've never been to him but can tell you that every doctor has missed dx on occasion and every doctor has not done well by every patient. It's silly for anyone to think any...(more) 14 hr 47 min ago
          doctor knows all.
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          • agre 100%. but it's also silly to think that only David Salsberg will write a good report, birng a nuanced perspective, etc. My dd was evaluated by someone else, she got...(more) 8 hr 23 min ago
            everything she needed to succeed in MS and never leave. DS was evaluated first by one person, "no-name" and he was accepted to Windward. Then evaluated by another person when we decided he might be ready to leave Windward...and will leave with a "nuanced" report so that his new MS will understand him and be able to teach him. I am sure Salsberg is great, but the ONLY him perspective on this board sometimes irritates me.
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            • Your "no name" sounds great! Wanna share their name? 7 hr 10 min ago
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              • Meredyth Kravitz. But he got into windward because he was appropriate for windward, is my point. 5 hr 26 min ago
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  23. Special Needs Neuropsych recommendation for 10 yo ds with writing and attention issues. In NYC private school so looking for someone who can make recommendations likely to be implemented in...(more) 7-29-2015 1:06pm (17 replies)
    that environment.
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    • Recommendation forů.? 7-29-2015 1:06pm
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      • ^tutoring? 7-29-2015 1:06pm
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      • For a neuropsych, she said in her OP 7-29-2015 1:07pm
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    • David Salsberg 7-29-2015 1:06pm
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    • My dc is in a nyc private, I saw two people, Alicia Webb-Scott and Ellen Farber. I recommend AWS - saw her twice now (dc is now a teen) 7-29-2015 1:07pm
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      • OP--i just did my revalaution with saldberg and I think the office is quite good. David does not directly do testing but observes during testing. He is om point with...(more) 7-29-2015 1:10pm
        schools--recommended 2 a few years ago--accepted at one and waitlisted for the other and my child is great!!
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        • Well, if you are happy, see him. 7-29-2015 1:12pm
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          • that's another poster, not OP 7-29-2015 1:15pm
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        • Are you the OP? 7-29-2015 1:13pm
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          • no -- I'm the OP and ds has never been tested 7-29-2015 1:14pm
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            • I second Salsberg, he has been great for my dc 7-29-2015 1:15pm
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        • I really hate this idea. 7-29-2015 1:15pm
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    • Janine pollack. 7-29-2015 7:40pm
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      • She is amazing but wait is usually 6mo. 7-29-2015 8:05pm
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        • Sorry, I was the poster who did reeval with Salsber 7-29-2015 8:13pm
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        • She does a wait list - I got in after 3 weeks due to a cancellation. 19 hr 25 min ago
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    • David salsberg was great with my oldest dc who is in NYC MS private. The school was very responsive to him, despite them originally wanting to use one of their usual testers and...(more) 13 hr 42 min ago
      having a poor understanding of my dc. Salsberg was also invaluable with my youngest dc with complex LD. Speak to him directly if you have questions before deciding - that helped us originally.
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  24. Special Needs I just need to vent and get support this morning...yesterday my almost 5 year old ds was on his scooter coming home from camp with the babysitter and his twin sister. He scooted...(more) 7-29-2015 10:25am (37 replies)
    ahead of them and turned a corner. He ended up crossing a street and going to the playground (where they were headed). The babysitter was obviously terrified and didn't know where he was until another babysitter at the playground called her to say that he had come in by himself. I considered firing the babysitter, but I know it's something that she couldn't have predicted. He's a speed demon sometimes, but he's never done anything like that. But he's impulsive and he honestly didn't know why he did it or even that it was so dangerous. He's clearly pre-ADHD, SPD, and has impulse issues. No scooter for school for a while, but how else do I talk about this with him? He's super defensive about it, and now mad that he can't have the scooter. Sorry for long post. I didn't get much sleep last night, I was thinking about it all night.
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    • fine, he lost his scooter for X time. If he wants it at the park, the nanny brings it along. He is no longer allowed to scoot there till he can follow directions. FWIW, he may not...(more) 7-29-2015 10:26am
      be ADHD, he may just be an active 5yo. BTDT
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      • Thanks. He is an active 5 year old, but he's always been more impulsive and dangerous than other kids his age, at all ages. It's something I've kind of come to terms with, but...(more) 7-29-2015 10:31am
        it's so so hard sometimes.
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        • Then really, no scooter except in parks, playgrounds, etc/ 7-29-2015 11:35am
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    • If ds ever crossed the street without me I'd yell at him and impress on him that a car could hit him and he could die 7-29-2015 10:26am
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      • I did that last night when I came home. I was very upset. So he's sufficiently scared and shamed by the whole thing. But the hard part is that he wasn't in complete control and...(more) 7-29-2015 10:32am
        doesn't think before he acts sometimes
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    • BTDT. This is scary - but mostly for HIM. Now, he is scared AND ashamed. I would give him a definite time limit for loss of scooter and help him come up with a way to be safer....(more) 7-29-2015 10:28am
      Give him control in the process - signals and clues at each corner, special words to say when it is safe to scross, etc. This is something that NT and SN kids do, but SN kids need super-clear guidelines and role play. Don't fire nanny over it, but make her part of the process as well....
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      • This is excellent advice 7-29-2015 10:33am
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      • yes, thanks this is very helpful. I'm just not sure if having the scooters is a good idea with the babysitter...I feel really conflicted. Has anyone else had two kids, one adult,...(more) 7-29-2015 10:35am
        and scooters (with one child who is unpredictable and needs a lot of rules)?
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        • Yes, I have a daredevil 4yo and a slower 6yo, the 4yo always races ahead. He always stops at corners though. Once he went around a corner by himself and lost the scooter for the...(more) 7-29-2015 10:36am
          day, he hasn't since then
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          • This is exactly what I've done. He has always stopped at corners too. I'm just so beside myself that he did this. I've taken the scooters away for a day before too... 7-29-2015 10:38am
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        • yes. dont be so overprotective. if u can do it, she can 7-29-2015 10:37am
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          • does OP regularly do after-school pick-up? kids are different for special parent times than they are in their comfort zone of regular sitter 7-29-2015 11:34am
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        • I have an ASD 4-year-old. No way could he have a scooter with his sitter and sister. For us, scooters are for the park or one child, one adult. 7-29-2015 11:32am
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    • honestly - no punishment. teach him how to cross the street and fyi, he should walk the scooter across bc he is little and zipping out at the light when someone is making a turn...(more) 7-29-2015 10:33am
      is dangerous.
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      • The hardest part of all of this is that we've been working on rules and we have them...he knows the rules! We tell him all the time. But one thing we've been letting him do is...(more) 7-29-2015 10:37am
        scoot across the street next to us. I'm blaming myself for giving him that leeway. Now I have to take it back.
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        • Yes you do, and that's okay, because he has shown he's not ready for it yet. That's normal and expected, this is natural consequences. He has to earn that back by showing that he...(more) 7-29-2015 10:39am
          can be consistently safe and thoughtful.
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    • OP here again...the bigger picture for me is this feeling that my kid is not manageable and that he's a major challenge for any caregiver. That is a bad feeling. Just needed to...(more) 7-29-2015 10:40am
      put that feeling out there too.
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      • Did your nanny make you feel that way? 7-29-2015 10:41am
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        • A little I guess. I don't think she's dealt with this before, and she's a little taken aback. That's why I've considered letting her go. But I want to work on this with her be...(more) 7-29-2015 10:44am
          taking that step. Our previous babysitter also loved ds, but I think she was constantly terrified that he would do something dangerous. Like she was scared to take him in the subway. Part of it is the twin thing- the babysitter has two kids to take care of so they can't go running after ds when dd is with them.
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          • One of the things you can do is reassure your nanny that you understand that ds requires a lot of attention. Talk about strategies that are successful. She may be giving off...(more) 7-29-2015 10:46am
            anxiety because she is thinking that he's going to do something (like scoot away) and she'll lose her job. If you trust her as a caregiver, work with her on tools to keep your ds safe and she will be empowered and feel more secure.
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            • ^And give her room to say "I don't feel like I can handle him on his scooter." If she says that, your way is clear: scooter is for with mom, not nanny. 7-29-2015 10:46am
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              • Give her room to discipline him if he doesn't behave. 3 hr 56 min ago
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      • Does the nanny seem like she is overwhelmed, or is this coming from you? 7-29-2015 10:42am
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        • She seems a little overwhelmed, yes. Most of it is about the scooter- the times we have talked about the scooter are when she seems most overwhelmed. Maybe that's why my impulse...(more) 7-29-2015 10:45am
          is to say no more scooter after school. After school is when he's most hyper, impulsive, sensory seeking, etc., so that's part of this picture too.
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      • You may need to accept that your ds IS a bigger challenge for any sitter and minimize the things that are triggers for impulsive and potentially dangerous behavior. 7-29-2015 11:33am
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        • yes, this is what I'm coming to terms with. This situation really highlights that. My thinking is that we can try again with the commuting on scooters next spring. 7-29-2015 11:37am
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          • Yes. Tell him something like "My job is to keep you safe and that means making decisions on things like car seats, swimming, and when it's okay to use your scooter. For now we're...(more) 7-29-2015 11:39am
            going to go back to using the scooter in the park away from cars."
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    • I have a 6 yo with SPD--He is not allowed to ride his bike or scooter on the street at all, because I don't trust him not to impulsively dash into a street. He has to walk it...(more) 7-29-2015 11:17am
      there, and can only get on and ride at the park or playground.
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      • Thanks. did you try teaching him and just decide that he couldn't do it? I'm a little confused about how to gauge whether he's trainable at this age... 7-29-2015 11:33am
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        • That he did this today says to me that he is not ready for that responsibility. 7-29-2015 11:34am
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        • Mine is clumsy also (his SPD is due to a motor disorder), so no riding on the street/sidewalk has always been a rule for us b/c he's pretty accident prone. 7-29-2015 11:41am
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    • My do is a teen now but has pretty significant ADHD and he was extremely impulsive at that age. We played a lot of running and stopping games to teach him to stop when I yell...(more) 7-29-2015 12:45pm
      feeze. It took a very long time but I. Do believe those kind of games helped. He should not be allowed to ride a scooter in the street or even run ahead u til he can control himself. Not as a punishment but as a safety precaution. Let him scoot in the park
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    • Very scary, but if you know he is this way, prone to impulsivity, speed demon, etc.; why on earth are you allowing him to use a scooter on the street? 7-29-2015 4:51pm
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      • ^^and I should add that I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm sure you're very upset. I just find erring on the side of caution with a child like this has served me very well...(more) 7-29-2015 4:56pm
        to this point. (knock on wood)
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        • I'm just reading this now....I think we all try to keep our children moving forward, growing, etc. This is a kid who has improved drastically in his safety and ability to follow...(more) 11 hr 13 min ago
          rules in the last two years. So 95% of the time he's following the rules absolutely. THen the other 5% of the time he's pushing the boundary but not doing anything terribly unsafe (like going around the corner and hiding but staying right there). So this incident was an anomaly. I think most parents of impulsive kids would agree that in order to raise a child like this, you have to make judgement calls all the time, and you can't always decide that they can't do things, or else they'll never do things. Apparently, a lot of parents err more on that side than me given a lot of the advice I've gotten here about working with him to learn the rules and follow them. I'm somewhere in the middle, but given his track record, I don't think banning the scooter on the street is called for.
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          • well, banning it temporarily is called for, but I don't think that we could have known that he was going to do this...that's the scariest thing of all here 11 hr 11 min ago
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  25. Special Needs Ugh. Maybe eight years ago I got a call from a guy that said he knew dh, left his number for dh to call. Dh didn't remember him, called him, still didn't remember much about him...(more) 7-29-2015 9:37am (6 replies)
    except the guy had sort of creeped him out at the time. He called again soon after, I think, and left a message, dh didn't call back. The guy just called again! Seriously, eight years later. I recognized his name and said, "What can I help you with?" He's this weird sort of overly friendly and said, "Well, I called before and got the same feeling that there was something difficult about my request. Do you at least know [dh]? Is there another number I can call him at? He didn't call me back last time." Ugh. I took his number, texted dh and was like, that's the same guy, right? And dh said, Yeah. That's him. I don't know him, and yeah, he's a weirdo. He lives in another state, but it's creepy! And I'm sure I was guarded on the phone, bc the guy freaks me out!
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    • weird. can you figure out anything about him online? 7-29-2015 9:38am
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      • op looking him up now 7-29-2015 9:38am
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    • Talk to dh. Maybe this is a guy from his past that he'd hoped to avoid?? 7-29-2015 9:39am
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    • strange. 7-29-2015 9:39am
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    • maybe a sibling that he's not aware of 7-29-2015 9:45am
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    • why didn't he just call him back 8 years ago and find out what he wanted. 7-29-2015 4:14pm
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