Special Needs

  1. Special Needs Received e-mail about fundraiser tomorrow for the school to which DS has been accepted for middle school (and which he'll be attending). Should we donate even though he's not...(more) 20 min ago (3 replies)
    there yet? It would be a nice gesture, right?
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    • You can but not necessary 20 min ago
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    • yes 19 min ago
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    • You don't have to. I promise. Donate next year. 14 min ago
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  2. Special Needs Aren't,the AMA AWARDS NASED ON SALES? So they already know they won? 57 min ago (2 replies)
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    • No I think that's the Billboard awards 57 min ago
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    • It's based on fan votes. Not on critical acclaim. Which is why the AMAs have always been viewed as a joke. 22 min ago
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  3. Special Needs Explain unexpected/unplanned pregnancy to me 1 hr 31 min ago (13 replies)
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    • ? What's to explain? 1 hr 31 min ago
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      • I don't get it. If you're a grown up, and have unprotected sex, you can get part at, no? 1 hr 30 min ago
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        • People miscalculate cycles or mess up bc or the bc fails. 1 hr 29 min ago
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        • dometimes protection fails you idiot 1 hr 29 min ago
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        • unless condom fails You don't necessarily know until pregnant 1 hr 28 min ago
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        • All forms of contraception have a failure rate (except abstinence, I suppose?) 1 hr 23 min ago
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          • I got pregnant on the pill. Luckily I was married and had the child. 55 min ago
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        • I went through years and years of infertility, multiple failed clomid and IUI cycles and 7 Ivfs to have 2 dcs. So I did not go on birth control after having 2nd dc, think...(more) 1 hr 22 min ago
          It was impossible and wanting to clear my system of drugs. Needless to say that #3 is now 7 yo. Things happen
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    • you are mean. 1 hr 24 min ago
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    • Nope. You just want to fight. 1 hr 23 min ago
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    • sometimes people aren't planning on getting pregnant, but then they do get pregnant. 1 hr 22 min ago
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    • Condom failed 1 hr 22 min ago
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    • My meds interfered with my birth control. 20 min ago
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  4. Special Needs So I'm totally average dw, equal earner to dh, most of kid related and house related chores except I rarely cook. I like sex and have it when I feel like it, got heavy a few years...(more) 1 hr 32 min ago (2 replies)
    Ago and most importantly I'm happy. If he isn't, he is free to go. Oh well.
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    • You sound defensive 1 hr 30 min ago
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      • Meant in response to a fake toddler post 1 hr 30 min ago
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  5. Special Needs I would do anything. ANY. THING. IN. THE. WORLD. To free dd from her anxiety disorder. God help us. 1 hr 37 min ago (7 replies)
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    • What meds have you tried? 1 hr 36 min ago
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      • None so far. She is in CBT and managing, but it is daily work and I am afraid I is going to get worse when she goes through puberty. She is 10. 1 hr 35 min ago
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        • I have a 16 year old with anxiety and panic disorder and it was at its worst under 10. I feel lik meds have helped but also learning how to deal with panic attacks, and how to...(more) 10 min ago
          self talk. He is so much better now at 16. Of up give her the right skills it does not have to get worse
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    • I have a friend in a similar situation. It's gotten very, very bad an the suddenness was remarkable. She always had moderate anxiety, had therapy and had been medicated. But when...(more) 1 hr 21 min ago
      it got worse it happened astoundingly quickly. Like 10x worse each passing day.
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      • OP: this makes me really scared. What happened? How is he? 1 hr 12 min ago
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        • And how do? And how ate thy handling it? 1 hr 11 min ago
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          • Therapy, shrink and meds. It's plateaud now, i think they're trying to find a cbt therapist 38 min ago
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  6. Special Needs How do you know when dc needs a hospital eval like 4 winds? 2 hr 38 min ago (5 replies)
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    • attempted suidcide, runaway, drug od 2 hr 25 min ago
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      • My ds talks about suicide but won t really try (I think). Sees a therapist weekly 2 hr 24 min ago
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        • Definitely talk with the therapist before your next appt. How old? 2 hr 18 min ago
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          • Next appt is tomorrow ds is 13 2 hr 13 min ago
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      • rapid mood changes, delusional 41 min ago
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  7. Special Needs This is so weird. DC started taking Tenex, but somehow I am feeling totally lethargic and sleepy. Totally psychosomatic, I know. 2 hr 40 min ago (0 replies)
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  8. Special Needs Advice for a very active 4yo boy? Have girls and it's crazy!! 3 hr 3 min ago (1 reply)
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    • whoops! Meant for toddler 3 hr 3 min ago
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  9. Special Needs Moms of toddler boys with a boatload of energy. Any advice to help it?? 3 hr 8 min ago (5 replies)
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    • Give them room to run 3 hr 7 min ago
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    • you are on SN board. 3 hr 6 min ago
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    • Buy a weekend house 3 hr 5 min ago
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    • Let them RUN as often as possible. Halls in buildings work great. Limit your time at restaurants. You likely won't enjoy it so save it for date night....(more) 3 hr 5 min ago
      Sports now and forever. Even if sitting at a t-ball game in a cold morning in April isn't "for you" because it's "for him".
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    • Pull up bar in bedroom doorway! 2 hr 52 min ago
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  10. Special Needs How do you know if a child is hyperactive or just a very physical and hyper boy? 3 hr 12 min ago (7 replies)
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    • Persists in all settings (home, school, extracurriculars, etc.), and beyond an age where that behavior is typical (for example, it is normal for a 2 yo to be a human tornado). 3 hr 10 min ago
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      • To the point where it interferes with normal activities. 3 hr 10 min ago
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    • you get them tested. 3 hr 10 min ago
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    • I suspected something was wrong when mine couldnt settle down even when he wanted to, even under threats of punishment or losing something. I could see the difference between very...(more) 3 hr 9 min ago
      active, and so hyperactive he was making himself miserable. Then in school...began to consider himself Bad and Stupid.
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      • is he very smart? 3 hr 8 min ago
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        • Let me put it this way...a lot of As if she is interested in the topic. A few Ds when she is t particularly. And a few Fs when she's stumped, like math and foreign languages. 2 hr 57 min ago
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    • If you are asking it's probably just energetic boy. 37 min ago
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  11. Special Needs Has anyone chosen to medicate themself instead of medicating adhd dc? i feel like if i could just numb myself a little bit we could maybe get through the next couple of years...(more) 3 hr 19 min ago (10 replies)
    instead of having to give meds to a 7yo.
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    • How does that help your child? 3 hr 18 min ago
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      • keeps me from feeling like i am on the edge of hitting him 24/7 3 hr 14 min ago
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        • meds for him would do that - np 3 hr 12 min ago
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    • give meds to the 7yo. I fought this for so long. I wish I had started it sooner. Think about if your ds had diabetes. Would you tell him to live without meds? This is what it is...(more) 3 hr 18 min ago
      like for him. You are asking him to do things he is incapable of.
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      • a thousand times this 3 hr 15 min ago
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      • "Just get it together and concentrate" 3 hr 13 min ago
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    • It's about how your child functions in the world too, not just at home 3 hr 16 min ago
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    • Is this a joke? Because i do understand the desire. But I wish my dc had been diagnosed in time to get through middle school without it being agony. As it was she wasnt dx'd until...(more) 3 hr 14 min ago
      HS when she nearly failed 9the grade and her self esteem was gone, and she was depressed with anxiety!
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    • Totally relate 2 hr 50 min ago
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    • I've been on meds my dcs whole life...but it's not enuf :/ 2 hr 26 min ago
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  12. Special Needs I am burned out from having a SN kid; it has been a long five years. I am a professor going on sabbatical for the first time next semester starting in January- and am doing a...(more) 3 hr 37 min ago (31 replies)
    major makeover plan inside and out. I am going to hire a "Team Me" maybe a acupuncturist, therapist, nutritionist, dermatologist, personal stylist, trainer, etc. Please let me know any recommendation of people that you have that helped you, or things that have helped you- I am in the Brooklyn/NYC area. Thank you.
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    • This post has been disliked 5 times. showWhat does any of this have to do with you having an SN kid? 3 hr 37 min ago
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      • Get off this thread asshole 3 hr 36 min ago
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      • you do realize that this is the sn board right? 3 hr 35 min ago
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      • Np: uh...everything? 2 hr 46 min ago
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    • good for you. not on nyc but just wanted to show support. what kind of sn? 3 hr 36 min ago
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    • I'm a professor too and insanely jealous. :). But go you! 3 hr 36 min ago
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      • ^^^ I was denied sabbatical a couple of years ago 3 hr 35 min ago
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      • OP thanks...send on any recommendations please, and it has everything to do with having a SN kid...to the professor hopefully your time is coming 3 hr 34 min ago
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        • OP ugh, just read that why? research institution- sucks- they are really cutting back 3 hr 33 min ago
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          • No!!! Apparently my Ivy League dissertation didn't convince the committee that it was good enough to 'help' my school. This from a teaching college where every single member was...(more) 3 hr 29 min ago
            outside my discipline. I even ran it by a Fulbright scholar to see if it was ok. She thought it was Boo!
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        • I wish I could but I would do exactly what you are doing. I'm nj. 3 hr 32 min ago
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    • i don't have any recommendations but i think it's a fabulous idea and am wishing you all teh best 3 hr 34 min ago
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    • Now I know where my kid's college loan payments are going. 3 hr 34 min ago
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      • OP autism,violent episodes 3 hr 32 min ago
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        • and I bet you know how to milk this for all it's worth! 3 hr 28 min ago
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          • Np. A special kind of fuck off to you 3 hr 27 min ago
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          • you do know you are on a SN board right? milk this for all it is worth? are you kidding me? 3 hr 26 min ago
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    • This is an amazing idea. I'm at 6.5 yrs with dc and need a MAJOR me plan! 2 hr 49 min ago
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    • Amazing dermatologist in soho dr. Bradford Katchen 2 hr 27 min ago
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    • Private Pilates sessions have been amazing for me (total luxury but worth it) 2 hr 24 min ago
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    • Nutritionist: Foodtrainers on UWS 2 hr 23 min ago
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    • Amazing personal trainer in Bklyn: Kim Albano (link inside)...(more) 2 hr 18 min ago
    • Trainer Michael Mickowski (spelling?) (973) 919-7703 Will come to you and work out in your home.... Reasonable for NYC if you buy 8 sessions. 2 hr 4 min ago
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    • ANy botox or fillers (eye specialist!) is amazing, and his wife is the skin specialist...(more) 2 hr 2 min ago
    • good god. this is me. i'm counting down the days til sabbatical. planning to do an intense fitness/weight loss thing at my y in jan-feb, take ice skating lessons in jan-feb and...(more) 1 hr 34 min ago
      tennis with my nt kid in march-may. of course, there is some serious researcch going on but this is MY time after putting on 50 lbs in the last 6.5 years.
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      • OP: another sabbatical person, yaay. Ice skating lessons sound great, where are they? What other things are you doing? 1 hr 26 min ago
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        • i'm in ct so this is local to me. i'll be visiting nyu for most of the spring semester so that i can be back in the city at last! can't wait to catch up with my city friends w/o...(more) 1 hr 16 min ago
          kids for the occasional lunch or dinner.
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          • btw, THREE more class lectures, two more sets of research papers, and two more sets of exams. That is ALL that stands in my way! 1 hr 15 min ago
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            • love it, I go through the 22nd horrible for finals...but have a 30 day countdown on my computer 59 min ago
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              • are you taking the whole year? 58 min ago
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                • i wish... no just the spring. but due to a clause in how leaves are handled during the tenure process, i'm also getting off the '15-16 year. after that it'll be the standard 3...(more) 46 min ago
                  year on/1 year off at my school. what about you?
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  13. Special Needs The fact that my dc hates school, and is vocal about it, breaks my heart. 4 hr ago (8 replies)
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    • my kids hate school too 3 hr 59 min ago
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      • has it always been that way, or did something change? mine has always hated it from day one, regardless of the school or teacher. 3 hr 55 min ago
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    • I don't know you, but I am wondering why it "breaks your heart." If it's because you liked school and he didn't, or because you really want him to like school, you may have t...(more) 3 hr 53 min ago
      mid-course correct your expectations for your child. he isn't you. And he won't like everything you like. Of course, I could be way off base here, and if so, i'm sorry.
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      • well, it's primarily because it means he spends the great portion of his day at something he hates. that sucks. and while i don't expect him to be me, or like school as i did, it...(more) 3 hr 49 min ago
        is a bit heartbreaking to know that something which is meant to broaden your horizons, to TEACH you, is so abhorrent. he will be limited. and this is a progressive, supportive, child-centered school, so it's not about being bored by rote learning or chafing against excessive rules.
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        • I understand. mine also hates school, he is smart (they tell me) and his school is SN and too structured for him, but he can't learn in a MS school either, they tell me. And I...(more) 3 hr 44 min ago
          am bothered that he hates it, but I don't know if I'd go to heartbreaking. We have only 6 more years, so that's something. :) Then, gd willing, he will have a long, happy life ahead.
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          • ^^and yours will also. school isn't for everyone, and I'm not sure your child wil be limited either. 3 hr 43 min ago
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        • Yep. U are me. Sometimes I feel heartbroken. Other times I wish I were loaded...I'd take him out and just travel. IMO school so overrated but, alas, seems necessary :/ 2 hr 15 min ago
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    • I get it. School has always been a hard place for my ds and after several different schools we homeschooled him and now he's a a 1:1 school and he's telling me he hates it and...(more) 2 hr 4 min ago
      it's all so hard to hear. School should be enjoyable and he calls me in tears from school.
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  14. Special Needs Looking for a rec for a book on ADHD. Did an initial screening with ped and I'm not sure what to do right now. 4 hr 7 min ago (4 replies)
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  15. Special Needs My 3.5 yr ASD DS recently began noticing the presence of other kids....(more) 9 hr 30 min ago (11 replies)
    Before he just acted as if they were invisible. But now his way of interacting is to push them down so they fall! Wtd? I make him apologize, say NO PUSHING and do a time out. Anything else I can try? He doesn't know how to play with kids at all.
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    • can you start him with one on one play time, so he learns how to play? 9 hr 30 min ago
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      • Well I will talk to his teacher about this. But with me the pushing happens even 1 on 1. 9 hr 26 min ago
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        • Hmm... When you talk to the teacher, ask what happens in school when he interacts with his peers. 9 hr 26 min ago
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          • >>If he does the same, what does she do? 9 hr 26 min ago
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            • She mentioned that she tells to other child to prompt my child to say "you say...I want to play" 9 hr 24 min ago
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              • But I'll get some more specifics. Not sure if there are some good techniques people have tried. 9 hr 23 min ago
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      • It's like he WANTS to interact and only knows pushing as a way of doing this? 9 hr 25 min ago
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        • Np: yes this is what my seit always said about my dc 4 hr 4 min ago
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    • At around this age, we put ds in a weekly social skills group to help ds learn how to be with kids. It's like ds wanted to be with kids but didn't know what he was supposed to do....(more) 7 hr 53 min ago
      It did help but there is no magic class for this. Just keep going at it and teaching him.
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    • We're in a similar place. For us creating an activity BEFORE dc starts to interact badly helps. Chasing games at the playground go well since they require minimal pragmatic...(more) 7 hr 36 min ago
      speech.
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    • IMO - time outs are not effective with ASD kids. Praising the good moments as they happen and rewards systems are much more effective. If you can set clear rules and...(more) 5 hr 40 min ago
      expectations beforehand and practice in a small structured setting (one on one play date, not on a playgroud with other kids). you'll probably have more success. The lack of structure on the playground was the end of my kid at that age
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  16. Special Needs Any recs for summer camps (preferably inclusion type) for HF ASD DC long Island? 10 hr 24 min ago (5 replies)
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    • Most of the Y camps are pretty inclusive. 10 hr 17 min ago
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    • Im in burbs with a dc inbetween sn and ms. My advice is that y, scout and town programs are spotty. One y may be great and the one 10 miles away awful. I've have the best...(more) 10 hr 13 min ago
      Success in highly structured ms camps. You learn a lot just by asking if they are sn friendly then go look. For my dc the ms camp has him in a slight smaller group with an extra counselor.
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      • Thank you so much - this is great advice. I will call around. Any good questions to ask? I think my DC also would do best in a smaller group/extra counselor but does not need a...(more) 10 hr 8 min ago
        shadow/
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        • Or: that's like my dc. With enough structure he does not need a shadow. Many full day camps are structured with the boys in groups and that group rites through activities...(more) 9 hr 52 min ago
          throughout the day. Call ask about activities, # of kids in groups, what they so if a camper does not kick an activity and how they deal with sn. For us, the $$$ camps were better. They had more flexibility and better staff to camper ratio. We also had luck with specific camps like surf, sailing. Boats are highly structured with specific jobs ect and dc eventually was in his own boat racing others in their own boats. It was the right amount of alone and social time kwim?
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          • thanks again - this is a big help. 9 hr 24 min ago
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  17. Special Needs Tired of tried to trick or force antibiotics into a profoundly orally defensive 5 yo. WTH can't my ped give it to him via injection? We've wound up wearing more of the stuff...(more) 10 hr 36 min ago (11 replies)
    than went inside him.
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    • can you hide in his fav food? a drink? 10 hr 35 min ago
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      • LOL. That's why I'm wearing applesauce at the moment. NFW. Absolute fail, tried both drink and food. There is no tricking a kid with such sensory sensitivities. 10 hr 34 min ago
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    • Did you have pharmist flavor it? My dd isn't special needs, but it made a world of difference. 10 hr 35 min ago
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    • Do you have your pharmacist mix up the highly concentrated version so there's minimal amounts to force into dc? 10 hr 35 min ago
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    • Love that phrase. I know a lot of married women who are orally defensive. 10 hr 34 min ago
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    • do you have a squriter? You squirt it in their mouth 10 hr 31 min ago
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      • He spits it back out or promptly vomits. 10 hr 18 min ago
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    • You can't always do the injection. Depends what antibiotic, and the use for it 10 hr 25 min ago
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    • My ds is the same. We get meds in pill form and crush them, and mix them with Nutella on toast. We also use ibuprofen suppositories for fever. 5 hr 10 min ago
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    • Oh I am so sorry. We asked for pills for this reason. We found pill MUCH easier. When I did liquid I would pin dc on the floor. I would kneel on him shoulders. Dh would hold...(more) 2 hr 32 min ago
      his head and we would quirt it in. Then hold dc down until he relaxed so he would not throw up. It was that or IV. That was better then IV. Thankfully after once cyle of that dc happily took a pill.
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    • This happened to me I finally went to ped pleading for injection she said we could do or just wait to see if ear infection passed without antibiotics ?which many do). I did...(more) 2 hr 9 min ago
      afterwords. Good to remember that not everybody even used antibiotics. Try not to freak out
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  18. Special Needs Looking for information on schools in Bloomfield nj. HF autism, inclusion...(more) 11 hr 5 min ago (4 replies)
    Anyone have an suggestions on who to contact. Should I call elementry schools directly? TIA
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    • Also looking for info on basking ridge and summit 10 hr 42 min ago
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      • these 3 towns are SO different - you realize this right? Bloomfield is blue collar Italian. The other 2 are not. 10 hr 25 min ago
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        • Op: No, I didn't realize. I'm trying to figure out what school district may work and what town is a decent commute to midtown. What kind of towns are summit and basken ridge. I'm...(more) 1 hr ago
          From working class italian town in ct and dh is a Greenwich guy..we can fit in anywhere, but would like a cute town w decent restauranrs, shop s, ect..
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    • See inside for Bloomfield...(more) 9 hr 54 min ago
  19. Special Needs How in gods name do I decifer ODD from asd/sensory related defiance with peers? Or is it same thing? Yelling is an issue during play dates and inflexibility...rudeness. No hitting...(more) 11 hr 19 min ago (18 replies)
    Thank god. But can be ornery and obnoxious. Sorry afterwards but seemingly can't control it in moment.
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    • Mainly with peers or also with adults? 11 hr 18 min ago
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      • 90% with peers I'd say 11 hr 16 min ago
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        • Op: can be inflexible with adults but no where near magnitude as with same age or younger peers 11 hr 15 min ago
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    • how old? 11 hr 11 min ago
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      • 6.5 boy 10 hr 34 min ago
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        • my ds because increasingly anxious and rigid from k - 1. he was overwelmed by the large public school setting. the rigidity reduced at 8. almost completely gone at 9yo. what...(more) 8 hr 46 min ago
          helped was ict, private social skills class, smaller private classroom was the icing on the cake. changing the setting and letting him grow was what he needed. the demands we were putting on him were too high. could not process the volume and speed of social demands in public school. diagnosed adhd in 2nd now in sn private at 3rd. social manners have greatly improved. often anxiety is at the route of it due to struggle with processing issues.
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    • You don't decipher it, a np does. 10 hr 57 min ago
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      • Ok: of course , just looking for parent experiences & advice 10 hr 32 min ago
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        • IME, defiant behaviors are almost always from anxiety, usually stemming from frustration or feeling of inadequacy from ASD or LD's. 10 hr 16 min ago
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          • Op: can therapist help with this even in 1:1 vacuum (I.e. No peer present)? 9 hr 46 min ago
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            • Op: or is medication more helpful? Or both? 9 hr 46 min ago
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              • Both, therapist can teach coping mechanisms for anxiety and behavioral training (CBT), but you probably also will want social skills group or counseling with peers via school in...(more) 9 hr 10 min ago
                the mix.
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                • this is what helped for my dc. np said with no supports he would eventually be seen as ODD by the school. got add/adhd with anxiety diagnosis in 2nd grade in large part...(more) 8 hr 54 min ago
                  to get the school to add supports. supports included access to guidance counselor - one to one, one per week and one group social skills class per week, motor breaks when needed, availability to take a break to guidance counselors office. ot and pt push ins for trouble spots - gym, writing class. behavior plan would be great but we could never get the teachers to use one even when the guidance counselor created one and modeled how to use it for them. they resist the extra work of implementing a behavior plan even though it's expected/required by the DOE if a child needs it. even our ict teachers resisted implementing behavior plans. i honestly don't know what gives them the right to do this. this is when you pick up the phone and call a lawyer. which is what we did.
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                  • I so appreciate you sharing all this. My son gets most of these supports already but...(more) 4 hr 14 min ago
                    But I haven't yet requested a behavioral plan (I will) though the school has been pretty good already with various behavioral supports. Thank you I will be copying this all down!
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    • See a psychologist, too. You might need meds for the behavior. 6 hr 57 min ago
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      • Got it. Just met with one for ados and I'm meeting her Wednesday to talk about peer relations specifically...(more) 4 hr 12 min ago
        (Social skill group didn't seem to do anything when we tried a while back but maybe time to try again)
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      • And will discuss meds 4 hr 10 min ago
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  20. Special Needs In your experience, is it better to be the highest functioning kid in a sn setting, or the lowest functioning kid in a ms setting? 12 hr 5 min ago (17 replies)
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    • I find academic work easier to individualize than social skills 12 hr 4 min ago
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      • if the school will work with you. many MS schools won't. if you have one, you're lucky. if that doesn't vary by teacher in that MS school, you're lucky 12 hr 2 min ago
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    • my gut reaction is that you absolutely cannot ask this. There is no answer. 12 hr 4 min ago
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      • ^^and depends on so many factors...age, tyoe of school, what you mean by high and low functioning, etc 12 hr 3 min ago
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        • agree - PLUS there's the question of what makes the child learn best vs feel best vs achieve long-run outcomes. And these may be at odds. 10 hr 38 min ago
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          • This. There is a trade-off in either situation. 10 hr 15 min ago
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    • My dd has been both and highest in a less challenging school was a hell of a lot better for her ego. 12 hr 2 min ago
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    • My ds is the lowest performer in his class (so he says) and it makes him feel miserable. He's slow to process. 11 hr 59 min ago
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      • does he have an IEP where he gets modified homework and tests? this helped mine a lot, plus resource room help. 4 hr 36 min ago
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        • what is his issue? is his current school helping? 4 hr 33 min ago
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    • The latter, if the sn is one that benefits from NT modeling. 10 hr 56 min ago
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      • which ones would benefit from nt modeling? 9 hr 57 min ago
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        • Social skill deficits, certain types of speech/language issues. 3 hr 41 min ago
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    • This is not so cut and dry. There will not just be one low functioning dc and if your dc is the highest functioning in a sn school than he does ot belong there. There is...(more) 10 hr 40 min ago
      usually a range of abilities in every child
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    • Mine was highest functioning in sn settting and was pretty unhappy.... can't speak to other, i assume no middle ground option? 8 hr 57 min ago
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    • i think my child would wither in a sn setting, but it is absolutely the right choice for many kids 8 hr 48 min ago
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    • is he in public or private? maybe a less competitive private school, unless he has a specific LD that could be remediated in a good public or a SN school with other kids at his...(more) 4 hr 35 min ago
      academic level.
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  21. Special Needs Anyone on? Maybe this isn't even a sn but my son is an insane perfectionist and he's become overbearing and he's only 8. 21 hr 7 min ago (4 replies)
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    • It is often from anxiety. Can be very hard to live with. Even if not at SN levels. 21 hr 3 min ago
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      • He's so controlling and judgmental. And needy. 21 hr 1 min ago
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        • If you think he could be helped by taking him to a psychologist don't worry about whether it's SN or not. So many kids need help and benefit from having a professional in their...(more) 20 hr 56 min ago
          lives to help them with difficult stuff like this. It helps you to be a more effective parent too, when you learn strategies that break the cycle you have gotten stuck in.
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          • We're going to see what a psychologist thinks and move forward from there. I'm so tired of him. 20 hr 54 min ago
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  22. Special Needs Wow -- I just googled processing disorder and I guess really focused for the first time on what it might mean for my dd. This might sound awful, but is it just code for her being...(more) 11-22-2014 9:29pm (28 replies)
    slow ? The comments from people suffering from it and from other parents with children with it make it sound like it will stand in the way of her being able to do normal tasks -- even getting through the day successfully. She's in k, we don't have a diagnosis yet -- but they have bandied about that this might be the root of her issues.
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    • Lots of intervention can help: reading specialist, speech therapy (for pragmatic language), even OT for motor planning. It all helps. 23 hr 58 min ago
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      • She has speech, she has OT. I'm sure she'll eventually have a reading specialist. But is it really just a lifetime of challenge. She is such a sweet, fantastic girl. But I do...(more) 23 hr 57 min ago
        see her struggle. Things just don't stick. She doesn't seem to get there. Ugh.
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        • ^^ I think on some level I'd just rather someone say, yes -- she's slow. She won't do x, y and z than to continue to hope and live in this limbo 23 hr 56 min ago
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        • She'll be fine. Honestly, she will. She will be who she is and will reach her full potential and you'll meet some terrific therapists and good people along the way. She just...(more) 23 hr 54 min ago
          needs to find her way. That's all not someone else's idea of what she should be.
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    • Early remediation can do wonders. 23 hr 55 min ago
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      • OP: is kindergarten early ? She is in a very supportive environment. 23 hr 55 min ago
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        • Yes. My dd is in MS high school. She's done really well with severe processing issues. 23 hr 52 min ago
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          • Oh my goodness. You are golden on here. The future. Is she in a mainstream school? What kinds of services? 23 hr 51 min ago
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            • A mix or ICT and regular classes. It's such a huge difference from where she was. 23 hr 48 min ago
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          • OP: You are like the holy grail. All I want to hear is that there are children who turn out okay. 23 hr 50 min ago
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            • There are. And about "slow", someone explained it to me this way. It's like her brain is a filing cabinet. The information is in there, but she's got to flip through page by...(more) 23 hr 47 min ago
              page to find it. It's not smart or slow, it's more mechanical.
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              • Awesome. I love you. She sounds terrific and is lucky to have you as well. 23 hr 44 min ago
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                • Thank you so much! Good luck to you and your child. 23 hr 39 min ago
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                  • Sorry, I was the np who jumped on this post but TY for telling us that she is doing so well. It's really nice to hear from someone who's a bit ahead of us in this journey. 23 hr 38 min ago
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                    • OP: There is no better feeling when you are feeling sad and blue than to have more than one person on your post :) 23 hr 37 min ago
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                    • I got a bigger lift from this thread than you did. Thank you. 23 hr 35 min ago
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              • OP: That is such a great way to see it. It's funny because I can see her flipping sometimes. And it amazes me because she is so intuitive when it comes to some things, but...(more) 23 hr 37 min ago
                learned information is much, much more difficult.
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                • I remember when she was in preschool, they learned a song for a holiday. I tried to sing it with her and got a completely blank stare. A week later I heard her singing it to...(more) 23 hr 33 min ago
                  herself. She knew it, but she couldn't "find" it.
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                  • OP: oh my goodness. I feel like I get the blank stare so much. Kills me because I know that some of the stuff is there. She'll do it in one context and then 'poof' it is gone. 23 hr 17 min ago
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                    • New poster: this sounds very similar to my dd in preschool --brilliant sometimes and very spacey other times. It did improve a lot with age 20 hr 19 min ago
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    • my son has processing disorder and according to not ust me ; he is brilliant. 12 now, some rough years but has come into his own as the things it interferes with become less...(more) 23 hr 38 min ago
      important. yes it is weird to have a "slow" smart kid, but just means he needs extra time on tests, etc. and extra time would not help if he didn't know the right answer - he does, just takes longer to get it on paper. loves to read, maybe takes a little longer but reads pretty quickly now. takes time to get started. but internet is full of hysteria and worst case scenarios. and processing is not the same as i.q.
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      • ^i said processing disorder ut i meant deficiency. processing weakness, no dx of a disorder, he is just slow! but smart and doing great :) 23 hr 34 min ago
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    • I asked neuropsych this exact question. Processing speed does not have to do with intelligence. You can be gifted in IQ and process slowly. There are struggles but with extra time...(more) 20 hr 21 min ago
      and help, many kids are ok. I can't speak for everyone but mine is very sweet, kind, lots of friends--just sometimes needs quiet, extra time, tutor as an older kid
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      • Also some kind OT once told me you can improve skills but it's hard to change temperament so be grateful you have a kid with a sweet spirit. Yours sounds the same and it is a...(more) 20 hr 16 min ago
        great thing
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    • My 15 yr old has a processing issue and has always done great in her ms schools. She is in a great ms boarding school and doing all As and B's. For a kid with a learning...(more) 13 hr 35 min ago
      differences his is just Wow! I don't think a processing issue makes w kid "slow" (the way in my days it was meant to mean). Their brains process things a little slower but with the right tools (early intervention and extra time on tests), things can be really great.
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      • ^^^as the poster said above, processing speed has nothing to do with intelligence. My three dc all have processing issues but their IQs are in the 130s . 13 hr 32 min ago
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    • No, speed does not equal smarts. My slow-processing ds has a full-scale-IQ of 137. He wanders off into his own head, but he emerges with these crazy insights and bright ideas. 12 hr 43 min ago
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      • If you drop out his low subtests for processing and spatial, you get a really extreme verbal IQ. 10 hr 35 min ago
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  23. Special Needs What age was your dc when you told them their dx? How did convo go? 11-22-2014 8:37pm (17 replies)
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    • My dc was Dx in the 4th gr with her LD and I told her when I found out. I've never wanted to make her learning difference seem as it was something to be ashamed of so I treated as...(more) 11-22-2014 8:44pm
      Any other occrurance that may arise in life. She's always been "matter of fact" with her LD and has never once felt bad about it. She's 15yr now and doing great. She knows her challenges but she pushes through them
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      • ^^^my other dc was Dx in the 3rd gr and I've done the same 11-22-2014 8:45pm
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        • That's great to hear. My dc is spectrum so I wonder about this conversation...especially since there's still so much mystery around autism (though less and less obviously) 11-22-2014 8:49pm
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          • I hope someone who has a dc on the spectrum can chime in. GL 13 hr 42 min ago
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    • mine was in 2nd grade and applying to SN schools from MS, telling him was such a releif to him, and no ill feelings at all. now that he is older, understands it more, it wavers...(more) 11 hr 57 min ago
      between being kind of a joke, "I can't do that, I'm dyslexic!" to a problem, "I can't do that, I'm dyslexic..."
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      • Op:can u describe how the convo went? 11 hr 28 min ago
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        • started with the trip to the NP, "we;re going to see this woman, Meredyth, who will play games with you and give you some activities to do to help Ms. Brooks learn to teach you...(more) 11 hr 19 min ago
          without so much arguing between you and her" and then on from there, it's just part of our fabric. When the results came back, "we learned a few things from the report, you have something called dyslexia which means it will be easier for you to learn in a new school where all the kids have it and all the teachers know how to teach kids with it." "all the kids' was big for my son, he just wants to know he's like everyone else, or did at the time. He also has word generation issues and says "dyslexia" in a funny way, which has become a family joke even though he says it correctly now...but it's just part of our fabric, like our oldest is the shortest in the family and that's part of our fabric also.
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          • ^^I don't know anything about spectrum issues, so I'm sorry if this sounds flip and impossible to you...but this is how it went for us. 11 hr 18 min ago
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            • No not at all. I do wish I had an easy way to explain spectrum...but I'll have psych and therapists give me advice on how to word things. 11 hr 14 min ago
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          • This is great and really helpful - thank u again. It sounds like you handled it perfectly. 11 hr 17 min ago
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            • you're welcome. thanks for saying that I did it well....you just never know and encouragement always helps! 8 hr 35 min ago
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          • np exactly. My colleged aged dyslexic son is still dyslexic. he jokes about it, and was so so relieved to understand that he could learn if taught properly 11 hr 10 min ago
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    • 7, as soon as we knew. he was tremendously relieved. 11 hr 12 min ago
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      • ^^ he's in college now. still LD! they have to be empowered by the knowledge of what they need to be successful. no secrets. 11 hr 11 min ago
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    • Ds is 11 with HF ASD. We have discussions now about how he is different from other kids (because he knows he is) and we talk about how. It's slowly seeping in and I think it helps...(more) 7 hr 49 min ago
      helps him to understand things a little better. I think it will be some time before we tell him the actual dx since he wouldn't really get that now. We're taking as it comes and explaining things as appropriate for him.
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      • Op: Thank you - yes I feel like I'll have to do it bit by bit...as I feel he can comprehend it. 4 hr 11 min ago
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  24. Special Needs Karate recs for Asd 7 year old in NYC? 11-22-2014 8:29pm (5 replies)
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    • KICKING THE SPECTRUM 23 hr 40 min ago
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    • Severity of ASD? My ds' karate school is integrated, one or two SN kids (mild ASD, retardation, PDD, ADHD, etc.) in each class. International Karate Center in Forest Hills. 12 hr 16 min ago
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      • Thanks! I think he's in the asperger realm but will find out more specifically once testing results come in 11 hr 22 min ago
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        • Mine who goes there is an Aspie. 10 hr 55 min ago
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  25. Special Needs Anyone have a dc with such bad behavior problems that it effects quality of life for sibs on a major way? I am at my wits end. I cannot do this. 11-22-2014 8:24pm (19 replies)
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    • i did yes but once i medicated for adhd it almost went away. not entirely but a drastic change. i have btdt though and i know it is misery. does ds have a dx? 11-22-2014 8:25pm
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      • Waiting for NP due next week...it seems like ADHD plus anxiety and maybe something else..it's horrid. He's horrible. Smashed watermelon in my face today after I told him he had to...(more) 11-22-2014 8:28pm
        Give it back to his brother. Throws shoes at me while I'm driving, cries over everything. Will beg for food for an entire hour if we are at a place with a snack bar. All of these things happened today.
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        • or- im very, very sorry. i hit the point very early (ds was 6yo) where i said that either he needed to be medicated or i did. it was unbearable. i would work with a behaviorist...(more) 11-22-2014 8:31pm
          and get on a behavior plan but if there is adhd, meds might change your life. keep in mind, the first medication may not be "it" but in my personal experience this is what changed my family life. how old is ds?
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          • ^the other thing i suggest is reading the explosive child. that tecnhique really helped us a lot 11-22-2014 8:32pm
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            • Ok I will buy it tonight on kindle 11-22-2014 8:35pm
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              • or- seriously read it. i read it and sobbed. its like every child was something terrible i could see in my own ds. but this plus meds and maturity have really helped us 11-22-2014 8:37pm
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                • ^also remember, this is hell on their self esteem? what is your ds really great at? find that strength and fucking play it up like no one's business to give him a boost 11-22-2014 8:38pm
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                  • ^^also, if you do get the dx, ds might like the book cory stories. this is a fiction about a boy with adhd. we read it when ds was 7yo so it might be too babyish for an almost 9yo...(more) 11-22-2014 8:40pm
                    but it was great for us. he totally identified with the character
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                    • Thanks for this advice, ds has like zero self esteem and thinks dh and I hate him, it's awful. 11-22-2014 8:46pm
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                      • You need to give him lots of love. The more isolated he feels the worse he may act. Don't assume adhd meds will be the answer - they may help but there are other meds that may...(more) 19 hr 58 min ago
                        help more depending on his dx which sounds more complicated that straight adhd. Regardless, there is help.
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          • Our first appt with behavioralist is dec 5. Both dh & I were dx'd add and ADHD as preteens...(more) 11-22-2014 8:35pm
            And disliked meds so wanted to wait as long as possible but...I think we have made a huge mistake, his NP at 4yo they said it was too early to talk ADHD. He is now 8.5. Some days it's so bad I wish for death. I can't see a light at end of tunnel. His sibs are miserable too.
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            • or- not every med is right for every person. arm yourself with a team. you will need a psych, a behaviorist, and seek out CHADD or some supports for yourself. we are on an upswing...(more) 11-22-2014 8:36pm
              at my house right now, ds is just shy of 8yo, but i fear back tracking to anywhere near where we once were. just be as proactive as possible. how is school for him? also, have you read explosive child?
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              • School was horrible for him, bullied like crazy, we recently switched him to small parochial school and it is much better, he's happier and no bullying but he also cannot control...(more) 11-22-2014 8:39pm
                his appetite and overeats like crazy and is chubby as a result which I think he realizes and upsets him. He gets pretty good grades though somehow through all this. Hate my life.
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    • a little late to respond but it does get better. I was there about 2.5 yrs ago, started thinking suicide, single mom with out of control 8 yo. would get me in a state in the...(more) 11-22-2014 8:55pm
      morning - I would break down in car on way to work. One morning we got physical and we both scared the crap out of each other. That day I called and booked apt for therapy. I explained to ds I love him but we can not continue like this and we had a maybe 6-9 sessions. helped a lot and he is on concerta now, dx ADHD. that cuts the appetite- it is not really hunger, it is where he is focusing his attention. it could have easily been an ipad or anything else. Hang in there- it does get better
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      • Thank you for responding, I am desperate and hopeless at this point, he is mean and awful to be around and ruins everyone's days. He thinks we hate him and I feel like shit about...(more) 11-22-2014 8:58pm
        that but I cannot let him hut his sibs day in and day out and I cannot give into his every fucking whim- I give in to most just to keep from having police called on us in public though. I'm so miserable.
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        • Daniel Amen's book healing ADD is very helpful. Therapy will help because an outside person may be able to model the behaviour or a more effective communication style. I learned...(more) 11-22-2014 9:03pm
          to ask him what he feels. I never used to ask I use to want him to comply because I am the parent and I said so. He learned that I am the parent and that gives me the authority and his JOB is to comply. We have a great relationship now but he is unbearable off meds. I completely understand you but seek out strategies and as hard as it seems sometimes, try to find the good he does and praise.
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          • Thanks I think we need to start the meds ASAP. Dh & I start seeing the bahvioralst on dec 5 11-22-2014 9:07pm
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    • Read the "Strong Willed Child" books - there are a few other good books about setting limits....(more) 14 hr 30 min ago
      Mostly, it's about consistency, and time. For me, the most stressful thing now is that unless dc is in front of a screen, I can't trust him to be out of my sight for periods of time because things will get into disarray. Huge messes, things taken. The violent bad behavior is mostly gone after years of meds and therapy and SN school and maturity.
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    • i can share my experience. i had a sn brother (adhd like but diagnosed dyslexic in the 80s because he had a high iq but poor reading comp. and i had a sn sister n...(more) 7 hr 19 min ago
      not sure what her diagnosis was - she had a profound stutter and some other learning disability - not sure how much related to speech issues. my brother was behavioral, embarrassing, swore at adults, teased. my sister was picked on for her stutter. i had to stand up for her and i had to be patient with a sib with a profound stutter. i was the oldest. i had to ignore my brother's behavior. i'm sure this affected my own social peer circles/less playdates etc. but in the end i think i am a better/more compassionate person for all of this.
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