New York City

  1. New York City Why as you offended by foul language bit not a policy that will result in thousands of inn 21 hr 25 min ago (1 reply)
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  2. New York City Forgive if wrong board but help please! DH's and my marriage has been difficult for years but now he has left and he's being nasty. Says it's all my fault marriage failed etc. His...(more) 10-28-2014 8:23pm (14 replies)
    Doctor called me to tell me I 'might want to' look into research on bipolar 2 and borderline personality. I did, and bingo! But why do I still feel the brunt of his verbal abuse of years past? It's been a decade of awful verbal abuse. but the diagnosis hasn't madd me feel better. If anything I feel sickened. Anyone have any experience to share? Thank you...
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    • HIS doctor told you this? You should reconcile with dh and sue dr's ass for malpractice. 10-28-2014 8:24pm
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      • Np: her dh prob gave him permission to tell his dw 10-28-2014 8:25pm
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        • If it wasn't in writing, I'd still go after him. 10-28-2014 8:26pm
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          • I assume it was. Most Docs aren't that stupid. 10-28-2014 8:26pm
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      • Nnp: if you give written permission your family can gain access 10-28-2014 8:26pm
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      • He told me I an oblique way. He said he knew what I was going through and referred me to some reading materials 'hypothetically.' 10-28-2014 8:47pm
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    • I don't ,but taht sounds really rough for you. Probably because you love him? Anyway, good luck. 10-28-2014 8:25pm
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    • do you have dc together bec. if not make a clean break and free yourself 10-28-2014 8:38pm
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      • Yes we do. Two DCs 10-28-2014 8:45pm
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        • do you love him? 10-28-2014 8:47pm
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          • No. I no longer do after this. I did prior. 10-28-2014 8:58pm
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            • then keep your distance as much as possible and just deal with dh as much as needed for dc 10-28-2014 9:19pm
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    • BTW there isn't any real such diagnosis as borderline despite the dsm code. 10-28-2014 8:39pm
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      • I'm waiting for a dsm code for PITA. 10-28-2014 8:47pm
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  3. New York City We share bank accts we do..recently i opened my own checking and have dd from work to keep it fee-free; I transfer my check into our joint acct immediately. (WE NEED THE MONEY)...(more) 10-28-2014 5:06pm (2 replies)
    and then I decided to keep any OT I got in my acct and sort of treat it like a Vacation Fund. As a surprise I could say hey we can go there! I only get 100 OT each month so today I was paying some bills and DH is home and sees this acct and FREAKS OUT. Huge fight. Thing is I told him about it and he acts like I was dishonest. Was I???
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    • tell him it's his birthday present fund 10-28-2014 5:08pm
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      • 1,100 in it so far I mean really 10-28-2014 5:11pm
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  4. New York City What is the going rate for a bat mitzvah gift - just a luncheon but whole family 10-26-2014 8:47pm (2 replies)
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    • $200 10-26-2014 8:48pm
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    • there is no going rate. give what you would like to give 10-26-2014 8:48pm
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  5. New York City Is there something wrong with this board? seeing posts from days ago as if they are fresh? 10-26-2014 5:57pm (6 replies)
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    • You are on NYC board. Which is slow as shit 10-26-2014 5:57pm
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      • not that slow 10-26-2014 5:58pm
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        • Far slower than toddler 10-26-2014 5:58pm
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        • lol. are you insane? i haven't seen a post on NYC in weeks. SN pops up sometimes, but it is 99.9% toddler 10-26-2014 6:00pm
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      • All the action is toddler 10-26-2014 5:58pm
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    • why are you posting on nyc? 10-26-2014 5:58pm
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  6. New York City Do bogs (boots for kids) do double duty for rain and snow in nyc? (not out hiking in snow, just snowy days at school, etc) 10-26-2014 5:55pm (5 replies)
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    • No 10-26-2014 5:56pm
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      • Yes they do 10-26-2014 5:58pm
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    • Yes they are good for both even in places that aren't NYC 10-26-2014 5:57pm
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      • so they'll keep feet relatively warm in short trips? 10-26-2014 5:59pm
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        • Very warm. It's all my kids use and we are in Chicago 10-26-2014 6:00pm
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  7. New York City DH refuses to accept his doc's diagnosis of borderline personality. For our 10 year marriage I've take verbal abuse and terrible behavior bc he was so great our first two years of...(more) 10-26-2014 5:28pm (6 replies)
    marriage and thought we could get back to that. I wanted to leave but now that he's asked for a divorce (he's resolute on this) I'm a mess and don't want one. I don't understand how I can feel this way. Anyone experience anything similar?
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    • move on 10-26-2014 5:28pm
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    • He's a badly broken person, and cannot be fixed. The good times were an anomaly, it will never be like that again. 10-26-2014 5:30pm
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    • nortoriously difficult to treat 10-26-2014 5:30pm
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    • They are untreatable and get worse, not better. 10-26-2014 5:31pm
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    • chart out your marriage on a graph, which way is it trending? 10-26-2014 5:33pm
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    • I can't read any replies so thank you to whomever replied 10-26-2014 5:51pm
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  8. New York City I knew all things Ebola had gone too quiet too quickly. 10-23-2014 10:20pm (1 reply)
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  9. New York City Private or Public in Suburbs...(more) 10-23-2014 12:12am (3 replies)
    RCDS/Hackley/Brunswick or Top 5 Westchester suburban public? assume cost not a key consideration. Any advice?
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    • Depends on the kid. A good student will do very well in a good suburban public....(more) 10-23-2014 2:08am
      Advantage is community -mine walk to school, all friends in neighborhood, all activities nearby. One went to one of those schools on your list, liked it academically but missed being part of the action in our town. Third in private due to dyslexia - best choice for him.
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    • Most of the kids at Riverdale live in Manhattan. My DD went there for a few years but trying to get into town for playdates, etc. was too hard (DH and I both work). High school...(more) 10-23-2014 2:10am
      would have been fine. If you live near Hackley, Brunswick, etc. they are all good schools.
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    • Which towns? What are DCs challenges? What age? 10-23-2014 5:09pm
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  10. New York City Manhattan: Where can I find a tutor for my ds for high school chemistry? 10-20-2014 6:32pm (10 replies)
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    • CUNY or NYU students? columbia students? 10-20-2014 6:33pm
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      • Yeah, try Columbia...lol 10-20-2014 6:34pm
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    • browstone. youre welcome. 10-20-2014 6:33pm
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      • ^huh? 10-20-2014 6:35pm
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        • brownstone tutors. 10-20-2014 6:36pm
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          • op:Thank You! 10-20-2014 6:39pm
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      • Not welcoming you yet as googling that term doesn't work 10-20-2014 6:37pm
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        • brownstone tutors came up for me. 10-20-2014 6:38pm
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      • I googled - nothing comes up 10-20-2014 6:37pm
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      • is this just a plug for brownstone tutors, or are they really special? 10-20-2014 6:40pm
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  11. New York City How much $ to give as a bday gift to 17 year old? 10-20-2014 10:57am (1 reply)
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    • Who's kid? 10-20-2014 11:01am
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  12. New York City Can anyone provide feedback on Tower 67 on the UWS? We have school aged dc's, and it would be for a year or so. How are elevators and noise? Tia. 10-19-2014 11:24pm (1 reply)
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    • Never heard of it 10-19-2014 11:25pm
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  13. New York City Houseguest...(more) 10-17-2014 4:51pm (6 replies)
    Am I being selfish? We have a house and a vacation home in desirable locations. We thought we were hosting BIL & SIL for a few days/weeks since they just moved from a different state, but it seems like they have moved in (~1.5 mo now). We never got a firm date on how long they were going to stay because BIL was looking for a job (seems like he has pursued one lead only); SIL has job right now that pays $45k. They "freelance", so they are omnipresent at either our regular home or vacation home. I feel like we are footing the bill for a lifestyle that they don't seem to be working for. I am expecting DB soon, and I want them to find a place of their own, but it seems they are trying to save money. DH suggested we let them stay at our vacation place, but then we essentially relinquish our ability to stay there. WDYT?
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    • They are taking advantage imo - give them a date at which they have to find their own place 10-17-2014 4:53pm
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    • give them a date to be out 10-17-2014 4:55pm
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    • Tell them that you have to fix up nursery/get ready for the baby. Do they think they can be gone in another 2-3 weeks? 10-17-2014 4:55pm
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      • - no subject -...(more) 10-17-2014 4:57pm
        Not sure; that's my plan though...
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    • when are you due 10-17-2014 4:56pm
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      • About 6 weeks from now 10-17-2014 4:59pm
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  14. New York City S/o from ESMS homework post. How much hw/night at Wagner SP, Lab, Salk, and Baruch SP? Thanks so much 10-15-2014 10:49am (7 replies)
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    • np: my kid is in 2nd grade, but my god I can see weighing this as a factor in deciding what school to choose! 10-15-2014 10:50am
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      • I know - a mom said her kid was spending 5 hours/night on hw. My ds is very sporty and plays violin. Something will have to give. 10-15-2014 10:51am
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        • If a child is spending that much time on HW, unless they are doing longer term assignments in one night, there is a problem, and the teacher should be notified. 10-15-2014 10:53am
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    • All pretty much the same 1-2 hours a night 10-15-2014 10:52am
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    • Wagner varies by teacher, Lab middle is known for a big workload. It is Middle School, you can expect 20-30 min per subject nightly. 10-15-2014 10:52am
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      • Salk Mom: Rarely does DC get 20-30 minutes per subject. More llike 20-30 minutes total, if that, plus 45 minutes of reading. Occasionally, they have big group projects that take...(more) 10-15-2014 10:56pm
        more time.
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    • Baruch hasn't had much homework yet IMO. I am not unhappy about this as I think HW is overrated. 10-15-2014 1:11pm
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  15. New York City Any East Side Middle School moms on? I read a while back that hw was taking hours and hours/night. Has that evened out? Any other thoughts on the school? Thanks! 10-15-2014 9:55am (6 replies)
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    • about 2 hrs a night here, tough with sports 10-15-2014 9:56am
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    • I have yet to meet someone with a child in ESMS who does not say the homework load is really heavy. But the load in HS is heavy as well- can be 3-4 hours nightly. 10-15-2014 9:58am
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      • What about NEST? 10-15-2014 9:59am
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        • less math hw so far due to a staffing issue (math teacher left, have had sub for a few weeks) 10-15-2014 1:13pm
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      • There's a big difference between 3 -4 hours/night in HS and 5 hours/night in 6th grade 10-15-2014 10:51am
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      • i find it to be 1.5 to 2 hrs per night. but that includes all reading. 10-15-2014 5:10pm
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  16. New York City I never ever thought I would say this, but I'm thinking about going on meds. I'm under a lot of stress, going through menapause and emotional wreck. Anyone else been there and...(more) 10-14-2014 7:59am (10 replies)
    done that? What did they take and what was the outcome?
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    • Anti depressants? Or hormone replacement? What does your dr say? 10-14-2014 8:02am
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      • On HRT. But I really feel like I'm losing it. The mood swings, coupled with outside pressure, have me in a manic state. 10-14-2014 8:03am
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    • I went on pill. 1000% better. talk to your gyn. 10-14-2014 8:02am
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      • Nr- Not quite there but still on bc pill at 45. I can't imagine my life without it... The week when I am off feels terrible 10-14-2014 8:05am
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        • Is it the mood swings? Mine are all over the map 10-14-2014 8:06am
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          • Mood, low energy, migraines... 10-14-2014 8:06am
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          • I always had PMS and when I got my period that was over. When my periods were very irregular I felt like I had PMS and anxiety all month ("When will it be over?!") It got me back...(more) 10-14-2014 8:07am
            to nornmal
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            • For me it's intense anger / anxiety and sadness 10-14-2014 8:12am
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    • Yes, my black moods at PMS were seriously affecting my relationships. I take Zoloft for 6-7 days during PMS and it makes a big difference in my volatility. I've always been an...(more) 10-14-2014 8:08am
      extremely emotional person and for me it's very related to hormones.
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      • ita. I tool it 25 mg days 21-28, life changing 10-14-2014 8:09am
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  17. New York City Any Spence parents on? 10-13-2014 12:04pm (12 replies)
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    • yes 10-13-2014 12:05pm
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      • I heard they send thank you postcards post parent tour/interviews for families they're interested in. do they do this or do it for everyone?...(more) 10-13-2014 12:07pm
        any insight you can share on the process would be great!
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        • they do this for everyone. Also, there is a rumor if you don't meet with the DOA you don't have a shot. We didn't meet with the DOA and were accepted. Good luck! 10-13-2014 12:09pm
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          • great. thank you. any guidance as we go through the process? how important is it to know people, etc? 10-13-2014 12:10pm
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            • I have heard that people have others write letters but I really don't think they help. We did not have anyone write us letters. 10-13-2014 12:11pm
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              • thank you! what do you think set up apart? can you share any insight on the playdate? i really appreciate your help! 10-13-2014 12:12pm
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            • OP: or insight into what the dd's do during the playdate? 10-13-2014 12:11pm
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              • I think they listen to a story, answer questions in a group and maybe some table play. Let me as dd! 10-13-2014 12:12pm
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                • dd is here with a friend and they both said they did work at tables and remember puzzles. Don't stress out, dd will feel it. Let her just have fun. DD said Spence was really...(more) 10-13-2014 12:15pm
                  nice, there was another school that made her nervous but it wasn't Spence.
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                  • so helpful! are you happy with the school? sounds like dd is having a good experience! 10-13-2014 12:16pm
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                    • Very happy. The girls have a great curriculum, enjoy going to school everyday, and the teachers really get your dd. There are a lot of great schools in NYC. We are all lucky...(more) 10-13-2014 12:21pm
                      to be in a great place. Good luck.
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                      • thank you again. i really appreciate it! 10-13-2014 12:22pm
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  18. New York City This post has been disliked 3 times. showDinner service for busy parents...(more) 10-10-2014 5:00pm (0 replies)
    Hi, I am doing research for a food delivery project that helps busy parents with their dinner planning and sourcing.

    Would love to chat with moms that live in Manhattan and struggle with their dinner planning or just wish there would be a better way to do it. It will be 5mins :)

    Please reply here, send me a PM or write to matisere (at) gmail

    Thanks in advance!
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  19. New York City Service for food delivery for busy parents...(more) 10-10-2014 4:52pm (0 replies)
    Hi! I am doing research for a food delivery project that helps busy parents with their dinner planning and sourcing.
    Would love to chat with moms that live in Manhattan and struggle with their dinner planning or just wish there would be a better way to do it. If you have 5mins, please reply, send me a PM or write to matisere at gmail
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  20. New York City Note to teachers at dc's school: when someone smiles at you outside school, consider the possibility that the person's dd had you as a teacher and is being friendly. Yes, you may...(more) 10-9-2014 7:20pm (6 replies)
    not remember every parent you've ever met, but smile for god's sake, don't look assaulted and offended.
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    • It could've been in your head 10-9-2014 7:21pm
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    • ^^^ and by outside of school, I mean at the school's doors, not somewhere else! 10-9-2014 7:21pm
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    • it seems like you really got your feelings hurt 10-9-2014 7:24pm
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    • Overreact much? 10-9-2014 7:25pm
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  21. New York City Do you know of any marriages that were saved by separation? DH initiated, I said ok and am moving out w kids this weekend. Not sure If my heart will harden but I'm wondering if...(more) 10-9-2014 5:15pm (21 replies)
    his might soften with the loneliness he'll experience of the kids and me gone as he rattles around our townhouse alone.
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    • do not move. 10-9-2014 5:16pm
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    • wait, your dh wants to separate, but he's making you and the kids leave? why? 10-9-2014 5:17pm
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    • why doesn't he get out? why are you uprooting the kids? 10-9-2014 5:17pm
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    • sounds like an ass. Why do kids leave 10-9-2014 5:18pm
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    • DO NOT move out without checking with a lawyer first. Please. 10-9-2014 5:19pm
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    • No, I don't . Don't move out, if you do he can keep your home if you divorce 10-9-2014 5:20pm
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      • that is totally legally incorrect 10-9-2014 5:21pm
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        • Are you a divorce attorney in ny state? 10-9-2014 5:22pm
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          • yes 10-9-2014 5:22pm
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            • how convenient. and I'm an anthropologist 10-9-2014 5:24pm
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              • nice for you, I know more about divorce law than you do. 10-9-2014 5:25pm
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                • except you aren't a divorce attorney in New York State 10-9-2014 5:26pm
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                  • i actually am. 10-9-2014 5:26pm
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                    • np - the 'fake' 'no I'm not' argument makes NO SENSE on YBM. Just state that you don't believe the person has any credentials and move on. There's nothing to prove 10-9-2014 5:27pm
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                      • that's true, but I hate when people give out incorrect legal information on this site, it is unfair to people 10-9-2014 5:30pm
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        • No it isn't. He can claim she abandoned the home and their marriage 10-9-2014 5:22pm
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          • abandonment is no longer a ground in NY state, the law was changed and this is a no fault state 10-9-2014 5:22pm
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    • that doesn't sound very thoughtful. Why are you moving out? what is the parenting schedule? what is the financial arrangement? Are you both commited to working on the marriage?...(more) 10-9-2014 5:21pm
      How are you going to work on the marriage? what are you telling your children??? It seems like you both have a lot of work to do if a separation has any hope of helping. Right now it seems ill thought out and dangerous to the family.
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      • If she doesn't move out he can't sleep there with his GF. 10-9-2014 5:24pm
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    • Guys don't often initiate unless they have someone else. Don't count on getting back together. 10-9-2014 5:22pm
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    • Did you cheat? 10-9-2014 5:25pm
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  22. New York City Homework Helper...(more) 10-9-2014 5:15pm (3 replies)
    Hi! I am looking for a homework helper to do hw and read with my my 3 children ages 5-10 2 hours a week with a possibility of longer. The hours would be around 3-30-5;30
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    • People actually pay for this? 10-9-2014 5:16pm
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      • np- god yes. 10-9-2014 5:17pm
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    • i would pay for this 10-9-2014 5:18pm
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  23. New York City Want to buy my nephew a watch for his 18th Birthday - in the $500 range - any recommendations on brands? 10-6-2014 9:37am (4 replies)
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    • he wants such a thing? 10-6-2014 9:38am
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    • Shinola watches are really cool...(more) 10-6-2014 9:39am
      • ita. those are really nice 10-6-2014 9:45am
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        • thank you and yes, he wants a nice watch - his request 10-6-2014 9:47am
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  24. New York City A year and half back i discovered my husband of 8 yrs, father of my two little children who adore him, most caring, loving husband someone i trusted 200%,...(more) 10-6-2014 8:07am (26 replies)
    loved by my entire extended family was soliciting men on craigslist.I was completed blindsided that he had an alternate life and online identity the entire time i knew him and earlier. He immediately went to counseling, he then admitted that he was abused as a child when he was 9 by his gym teacher. Suddenly it explained his anger issues, erectile dysfunction issues, anxiety and supposedly sex addiction. He claims that having confronted the demons of his past, he now is free from sex addiction and soliciting men on craigslist. He is trying everything he can to save our family. However i have been unable to forgive him and even though for the sake of the kids we are co-parenting and i understand him being a victim on some level, the marriage is lost. I cannot let him even touch me. Just am unable to get past the betrayal. Plus i don't know if he is past the addiction, just don't know what it is that he needs to do to get back the trust. Is there any hope? Don't know what
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    • i hope you are in therapy as well. this is a lot to do on your own. g l 10-6-2014 8:09am
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    • Oh I'm sorry. How hard for both of you. Good luck. 10-6-2014 8:10am
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    • i'm really sorry this happened to you. I doubt it is helpful for me to say but your feelings are completely understandble. in your shoes i would do counseling alone to work...(more) 10-6-2014 8:10am
      through my feelings and decide what I want or can do. I am glad your dh got help but I would insist he stay in counseling himself bc like any other addiction, I dont' think you can suddenly declare yourself cured and no more work to be done on it.
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    • That sounds very difficult! Did he just solicit of did he actually meet up with them. Do you think he's being totally honest 10-6-2014 8:11am
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      • he met up..but this has been going on since teenage years, some form of reenacting the abuse. he claims he felt disgusted after the fact every time. 10-6-2014 8:12am
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        • Is he in individual counseling? 10-6-2014 8:13am
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          • he went for some time but not anymore..after a while he didn't feel he was getting anywhere. once he came clean with the abuse, the nightmares kinda stopped, he stopped being...(more) 10-6-2014 8:17am
            angry and felt lighter, after that he didn't feel there was any incremental value in the counseling.
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            • Do you agree? Sounds like this is huge and ongoing counseling would help. 10-6-2014 8:19am
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              • i don't know. i do see a change in his behavior. i.e the anger is gone, he seems at peace there is no anxiety. but i can't believe the addiction which was there for 18+ years,...(more) 10-6-2014 8:22am
                just disappeared.
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                • It hasn't. Even if he's not acting out on it. You don't heal from this quickly. 10-6-2014 8:23am
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    • he is happy for me to put trace on his phone, computer etc, give me all his passwords. He promptly transferred all our assets to my name. but i can't trust him again. should i put...(more) 10-6-2014 8:15am
      these trace...online activity tracker.
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      • just feeling very depressed and lonely. not something i can discuss with friends and family. 10-6-2014 8:16am
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      • it may give you some comfort but I suspect that your feelings are based less on logic than emotions. like you said you understand the "why" and can see he is doing all the right...(more) 10-6-2014 8:19am
        things to address the issue and yet you are still feeling you can't trust him and don't want him to touch you etc. I think feelings of betrayal go way deeper than we can heal with just our brains, if that makes sense. it sounds like it is a relationship that is worth the work to try to heal but I think it will take your own therapy separate from him to determine what healing will look like
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    • I don't want to sound harsh because this would rock my world too, but can't you just let him be gay? I mean. He's gay. Let him. 10-6-2014 8:16am
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      • Np: this isn't about him being gay--I know a number of sex addicts, and it's not uncommon for them to meet up with men, not because of sexual orientation, but for a number of much...(more) 10-6-2014 8:18am
        more complicated reasons.
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    • Is he working with a CSAT and are you in couples? I agree with those who say you should get an individual therapist for you, to work on this stuff. And a year and a half is not...(more) 10-6-2014 8:17am
      very long--your work was turned upside down. For me, it probably took a year just to process it--to get past the utter shock. Did he do a full disclosure and take a polygraph? And is he doing 12 step work? I think it's such a hard addiction to treat--even if they're not acting out sexually, the lying, self loathing, complete inability to be intimate, all of that takes so much time. I'm really sorry you're going through this.
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      • he did individual and we had a few couples but i am not in individual, i just don't feel comfortable. 10-6-2014 8:20am
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        • np imo you both need to get comfortable with more counseling. if you want to save the relationship and function as healthy adults. even if you decide you don't want to stay...(more) 10-6-2014 8:22am
          married, this experience will impact your future relationships very much. not to mention how happy you will or won't be alone.
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        • I think you really should. For you. Np 10-6-2014 8:22am
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        • Honestly, this isn't something either of you has a hope of getting through without a lot of therapy. And I never did therapy until I discovered my dh was a SA. It doesn't matter...(more) 10-6-2014 8:26am
          if you're not comfortable with it--believe me, you're going to experience a whole lot of discomfort for a whole lot of time over this. You owe it to yourself and your kids to really process your feelings and figure out what you need. Bottling it up inside you will just make it fester. As for him, it's a huge red flag that he isn't continuing therapy. Every SA I know (and by now I know a number of them and /or their wives) who did not have a long term and genuine recovery plan--individual therapy consistently for at least a few years, 12 step or other recovery groups with a sponsor--and actually doing the step work, not just attending meetings----and couples counseling, again, for an extended period of time--every single one has relapsed and/or replaced his old addiction with a new one. Is he working with a CSAT? If so, they should know this. Did he do a disclosure and take a polygraph? If not, odds are there are still many things you don't know.
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          • no he is not working with a CSAT, he did initially, also went for some recovery group meeting, but didn't feel he related to the group, then he stopped. he hasn't taken polygraph,...(more) 10-6-2014 8:30am
            but i essentially discovered the alternate email address and he gave me the password. it had all the gory details. I don't think there is anything more.
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            • All I can tell you is what I know from my own experience and research/reading. A large number of sex addicts relapse between 6 and 18 months after they go into recovery because...(more) 10-6-2014 8:51am
              they start dealing with their issues, their secret is out in the open (at least to their partners) and it feels as if a huge weight has been lifted. It's almost euphoric. But the thing is, they've barely broken the surface in dealing with the decades of crap in their lives that brought on this behavior. They may be sober, but they haven't changed their inner workings. My dh went into therapy, after half a dozen sessions felt so much better and thought he "got it"--he understood why he'd done what he'd done, and what a horrible impact it had on him, on me, on our family, and he knew he could never do that again. Then he said the dame thing about couples after a few months. He hated the group he joined, he hated the 12 step meetings at first. He talked all the time about how much better he felt and how much he understood. But honestly, it was a deal breaker for me--my therapist and I came up with a list of what I needed from him in order to feel safe en
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              • ^^enough to continue our marriage and try to reconcile. Thst included him being in individual therapy, in twelve step with a sponsor and doing the work, couples, transferring sll...(more) 10-6-2014 8:58am
                our savings into my name (except his retirement savings), 100% honesty and transparency! as well as obviously ceasing any of the acting out behaviors. Even if he told a small lie about ANYTHING that first year or toe, it would set us back months. He needed to change the way his brain worked--he was so used to hiding things, not expressing his feelings, avoiding conflict, whatever--that he really didn't know how to live another way. He is a different man today, and it's amazing--it also has so changed the way we parent our kids. Therapy isn't supposed to be fun or even necessarily enjoyable--it's hard work and it something you do because you realize things can't go on as they are. So many of my friends' dhs quit therapy or groups because they didn't like them, but then they never found new ones. This stuff is too firmly entrenched to think it will get better by itself. It won't.
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                • thanks a lot, this has been very helpful. 10-6-2014 9:17am
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    • in last weeks nyt sunday paper a man wrote about being abused and being bisexual but married and not truly being gay . this sounds like your hd 10-6-2014 8:55am
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      • dh says he is not attracted to men, he went through these motions in a dazed, felt violated later and it was his form of punishing himself. Also he repeated...(more) 10-6-2014 9:25am
        the same act that his abuser made him do and unable to get himself engage in any other sexual act with another man. Its all very confusing but to him this was not about sex or sexual attraction.
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  25. New York City Please recommend orthodontists on UWS or UES. also tell me abt bad ones to avoid! TIA 10-2-2014 6:11pm (1 reply)
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    • We love Bronsky Ordthodontics!!! 10-3-2014 11:07am
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