Elementary

  1. Elementary OCD/GAD SIBLING...(more) 7-11-2014 9:36am (1 reply)
    Hi. I am new here. 9 yo Dd with severe GAD and borderline OCD. Lashes out at sister, who is one of her triggers:( Her sister complains that she wishes she just had a normal sister who didn't need everything so perfect all the time. Dd takes up 95% of household--tantrums all day, everyday, from first thing in morning at dawn until bedtime. Just started meds. How do you balance sibling attention when one gets all negative attn and the other all easy interactions and positive attn? What about guilt of having sister have to witness all of this?
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    • try reposting to the special needs board (you posted to elementary which is usually dead here). I wish you the best! 7-11-2014 9:41am
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  2. Elementary Will you have the doc give your dcs Gardasil? What age? 7-6-2014 2:49pm (2 replies)
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    • already started 13/14/15 7-6-2014 2:50pm
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    • done. age 11. 7-8-2014 11:01pm
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  3. Elementary Need to buy a flower-girl style tiara in Manhattan. Any suggestions? 6-27-2014 1:44pm (8 replies)
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    • Michaels craft store 6-27-2014 1:45pm
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      • in manhattan? 6-27-2014 2:04pm
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    • Check online 6-27-2014 1:46pm
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    • Disney store 6-27-2014 1:49pm
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    • try the dept stores 6-27-2014 1:51pm
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      • and bridal shop 6-27-2014 1:52pm
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    • any of the stores in Latino neighborhoods that sell dresses, etc for first communions, quinceaneras, etc. There's one on Dyckman street near Nagle ave on the North side, also try...(more) 6-27-2014 2:02pm
      East Harlem
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    • wreath of flowers from florist 6-27-2014 2:04pm
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  4. Elementary Stay at home mom problems...(more) 6-23-2014 11:29am (5 replies)
    im a mom of 4 kids. And as far as my kids go i think i got that handled pretty well...but myrelationship wit my bf is suffering. He busts his ass to provide for us.but honestlyi feel so neglected sometimes.i get it that hes tired. N i dont have a problem puttin my needs aside..but god damn im miserable only having sex 1-2 times a month...am i bein too needy?
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    • yes 6-23-2014 11:32am
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    • Are you the one with the abusive DH? Are these real posts? 6-23-2014 11:33am
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      • - no subject -...(more) 6-23-2014 11:41am
        Yes all real...i think im a little bit dumb...there are good things bout him too...i just feel used a lot. Like my only purpose is to clean, cook ntake care of kids.it feels like theres no more love left
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        • If he is hurting you, you need to leave him. Full stop. What if he goes too far one night and your dcs are left with only him to take care of them? How will they turn out, growing...(more) 6-23-2014 11:46am
          up watching their mother get beaten? It isn't okay for anyone to hurt you, especially not someone who is supposed to be your partner. Here is a link to a hotline/website that helps domestic abuse victims: http://www.thehotline.org/ Please get yourself some help
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          • And by the way, you are not dumb. You are a victim and you need help because your bf is an abusive asshole. You can do this. 6-23-2014 11:48am
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  5. Elementary Not sure if this is abuse or if im bein dramatic...(more) 6-23-2014 10:52am (13 replies)
    In my opinion my bf of 4 years has huge rage issues. He's dragged me by my hair, slammed my arm in a door, thrown countless stuff at me, pinned me down n spat on my face....bunch of stuff like that i think u get the picture...but hes never actually hit me. Is this abuse? or does this happen to everybody n im bein too sensitive?? We got 4 kids...im so torn and drained.
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    • Please be fake 6-23-2014 10:53am
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      • Please please please. 6-23-2014 10:54am
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    • Sweet Jesus. THAT IS ABUSE. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT SITUATION. 6-23-2014 10:53am
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    • this is not normal. this sounds like my kids when they fight. im sorry, he needs to learn, just like my kids, you dont do these things to other people. 6-23-2014 10:53am
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      • Come again? He needs to learn? He is an abuser. He will never learn. Op has to run, not walk, away. Today. Over, done, and done n 6-23-2014 10:54am
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      • It's not ops job to teach him 6-23-2014 10:54am
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    • Yes, this is abuse. You deserve better. Where are you? I can try to find you some resources. 6-23-2014 10:55am
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    • 4 kids? This is fake 6-23-2014 10:56am
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      • Fuck I hope so. 6-23-2014 10:57am
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      • - no subject -...(more) 6-23-2014 10:58am
        1 Is from a previous relatship...n 2 are twins...not fake
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        • ok if not fake, you need to LEAVE. this is WRONG 6-23-2014 11:00am
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        • Please lady, get some help this is NOT normal. 6-23-2014 11:00am
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    • please visit the website youarenotcrazy.com -- might give you some useful perspectives. Also, hitting is not the only form of abuse. He's hurting you, injuring you, and trying to...(more) 9-2-2014 10:44pm
      keep you afraid of him, so you'll be under his control. That's abuse,
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  6. Elementary I don't have clothing battles with teen dc it I will advise her not to wear sleeveless shoulder less dresses to memorials. Do you tell your girls about day dresses, evening...(more) 6-20-2014 10:45pm (4 replies)
    dresses etc ?
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    • What? 6-20-2014 10:46pm
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    • I can only wear sleeveless tops & dresses, although I try to wear something over my shoulders like a jacket, cardigan or wrap if necessary. But otherwise I overheat & have a panic...(more) 6-20-2014 10:50pm
      Attack with sweat outbreak.
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      • ^ and no one ever told me anything about dresses 6-20-2014 10:51pm
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    • "Don't dress like a whore, a meth-face or a juggalo" That about covers it 6-20-2014 10:52pm
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  7. Elementary What 6-20-2014 10:40pm (0 replies)
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  8. Elementary You silly women cut off shirts are to be worn with high waisted bottoms 6-20-2014 10:40pm (1 reply)
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    • cut them off? i have a lot of high waisted shorts and pants, i just tuck 6-20-2014 10:42pm
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  9. Elementary You silly women you realize the cut off shirts are to be worn with high waisted bottoms 6-20-2014 10:39pm (1 reply)
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    • Thanks Stacey London! 6-20-2014 10:40pm
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  10. Elementary Would you let teen dd have basement bedroom and bathroom? Dh would rig up a sneak out alarm 6-20-2014 10:32pm (4 replies)
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    • If I thought I needed an alarm to keep the kid from sneaking out, then HELL NO. 6-20-2014 10:33pm
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      • Iam just thinking of my own teen years 6-20-2014 10:35pm
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        • Ok, then you shouldn't have had that arrangement either. 6-20-2014 10:49pm
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    • I say no 6-20-2014 10:37pm
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  11. Elementary Need to vent; dh forgot to renew his TLC license and now cannot work for 2 months...thank goodness he has another job but this is ridiculous 6-20-2014 10:18am (0 replies)
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  12. Elementary Anyone been to kiawah resort in sc? Looking for easy family vacation with variety of things to do. 6-14-2014 4:40pm (3 replies)
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    • Beautiful. And great golf for the husbands to get away 6-14-2014 4:41pm
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      • We don't golf -but like resorts bec they usually have pools and beaches and entertainment. Where did you stay? 6-14-2014 4:42pm
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  13. Elementary I cannot handle my seven-year-old daughter and am so ashamed. She comes home from school and just disrupts the whole house with her obsessions and negativity. I have her in...(more) 6-12-2014 3:36pm (6 replies)
    therapy and she's on an IEP, but the extent to which she upsets the household and my inability to control that is bringing me down.
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    • Is she on meds 6-12-2014 3:37pm
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      • Yes, a very small dose of Focalin. 6-12-2014 3:38pm
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        • Maybe time to recheck the meds 6-12-2014 3:48pm
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          • I'm considering it. We are in a very chaotic spot right now - school's ending, we're moving, I'm home alone with three small kids b/c of my husband's commute, so my hope is...(more) 6-12-2014 3:52pm
            things will get a little more stable once we move.
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    • i am so sorry. i never knew parenting would be so tough 6-12-2014 3:45pm
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      • Basically daily failures with little glimmers of success woven in. At least for me. 6-12-2014 3:48pm
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  14. Elementary What camp are your dc going to? I'm dreading this ... 6-12-2014 1:14am (0 replies)
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  15. Elementary Haven't been on in months. Dh and I were in a bad place, fighting, not connecting and I felt like he checked out and I thought was getting too friendly with co worker. He finally...(more) 6-10-2014 10:53am (15 replies)
    confessed that nothing happened but there was flirting and he found himself thinking about her a lot. He realized that he was just tying to not deal with marital issues and it was just easy to escape. I feel hurt by this as I feel rejected and tossed aside. We are in therapy, but I don't know how I will get past this
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    • i would leave his sorry ass 6-10-2014 10:54am
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      • that is what landed us in therapy, I told him I wanted him to move out and he begged me to try therapy that he doesn't want to end our marriage 6-10-2014 10:55am
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        • np - so annoying. If you are going to beg someone to stay, put in the effort to facilitate that. (him, not you, in this case) My ex begged me to stay and 'work on it' with him...(more) 6-10-2014 10:57am
          and then did absolutely nothing to work on it.
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          • it sounds like op's dh is doing something 6-10-2014 10:58am
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          • np they are in therapy. I would take that as him working towards healing. I mean, that's the only info we have here. I don't think a workplace flirtation while marriage is in a...(more) 6-10-2014 10:58am
            bad place makes him horrible
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            • He could be. 6-10-2014 10:59am
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    • Everything in life is temporary. It will pass. BTW you posted to Elementary. You will get more responses on Toddler. 6-10-2014 10:54am
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    • well everyone is allowed their midlife crises. at least he realized what was happening and decided to take care of the real problem 6-10-2014 10:55am
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    • I might be alone here, but this sounds very normal to me. If he really didn't take it further than flirting, you guys can bounce back from this imo 6-10-2014 10:56am
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      • Np: I agree. 6-10-2014 10:56am
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      • Op I know but I feel betrayed, like it was so easy for him to just go and think about another woman and not deal with our issues 6-10-2014 10:58am
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      • this doesn't sound normal to me at all. it sounds awful. i'd be like op. i'd have a hard time getting over this. 6-10-2014 11:00am
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    • I believe that people will admit to about 40% of what they've really done. If he admits to thinking about it and flirting... 6-10-2014 10:58am
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      • than what he acted on it 6-10-2014 11:00am
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  16. Elementary Is 9/10 years when girls get really self conscience and really start struggling socially. DD was fine and all of a sudden is having a hard time 6-9-2014 9:39am (9 replies)
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    • yes. very awkward until around 15. 6-9-2014 9:40am
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      • so why are other girls less self aware...I feel like dd takes herself out of situations bc she feels odd 6-9-2014 9:42am
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        • they all are at some point. 6-9-2014 9:42am
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    • Yes, my dd is 10, having a tough time 6-9-2014 9:41am
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      • any ideas of what can help or just let nature take it's course 6-9-2014 9:42am
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        • build her confidence, help her to accept who she is and not care what other people think 6-9-2014 9:43am
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          • ^easier said than done though. Mine is very hormonal too 6-9-2014 9:43am
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          • trying to do that by encouraging her anything else 6-9-2014 9:44am
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            • outside activities? How exactly is she struggling? 6-9-2014 9:45am
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  17. Elementary I've concluded DW has a serious organization problem. How do I help?...(more) 6-7-2014 8:54pm (27 replies)
    I'm the husband, asking this august group for advice because I'm stumped. We're a professional couple, biglaw partner (me), attorney for private school (her), three small boys. Kids are a mess but things at our house have gotten out of hand and have stayed that way for three years. You're thinking "this asshole expects his wife to maintain a spotless home ..." No, it is not one of those complaints.
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    • zzzzzz 6-7-2014 8:54pm
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    • Define "out of hand" and what are you as a husband, parent, and homeowner doing about it? 6-7-2014 8:55pm
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    • Do you organize together? delegate jobs to each other? Have a calendar on the fridge with then things need to get done? I am a dh with three boys and no wife and it takes a lot of...(more) 6-7-2014 8:55pm
      writing shit down and lists.
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    • what is an august group 6-7-2014 8:55pm
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      • A term he used very generously 6-7-2014 8:56pm
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        • ??? 6-7-2014 8:56pm
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        • so what does it mean? 6-7-2014 8:56pm
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          • With majestic dignity. Not exactly our hallmark. 6-7-2014 8:57pm
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        • Satire 6-7-2014 8:57pm
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      • Fucker is being sarcastic 6-7-2014 8:58pm
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    • Help her. Hire help 6-7-2014 8:55pm
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    • So be more specific and is it her or both of you? Are you expecting more of her (to be the organizer) than you? 6-7-2014 8:56pm
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    • not sure what you expect her to do 6-7-2014 8:57pm
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    • What would you like to see happen? Get specific and tangible 6-7-2014 8:57pm
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    • OP here: Here's the problem...(more) 6-7-2014 8:59pm
      My wife, who is otherwise wonderful and functions great at work, is an organization nightmare and the problem has become untenable. Bills go unpaid .. all of them (so I took all of them on). Her finances got messed up and lost (so I took them over). Medical files piled up and got lost (so i took that over, too). Car had no insurance or registration when we got stopped for having an expired sticker (so I took that over). Piles of her work papers grew so large on the kitchen table that, first we stopped eating there, and then they collapsed on the floor and I said "Look, I'll just box them up and put them in the garage until you can get to them ..." Three years later, our two-car garage is full to a three-foot depth with my boxes of her papers, which she's never looked at after the boxing. Yikes.
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      • Two lawyers: hire a personal assistant 6-7-2014 9:01pm
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      • Lol. I'm like that with piles of paper. Is your house actually dirty or she just leaves paper everywhere? 6-7-2014 9:02pm
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      • Sounds exactly like my dh. Normal for some people. Just make sure she doesnt become a horder. I would kick dh out for that 6-7-2014 9:02pm
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      • She sounds depressed. 6-7-2014 9:06pm
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        • Not depressed, at least according to a psychologist (not psychiatrist)...(more) 6-7-2014 9:11pm
          Diagnosis, if you could call it that, was just "wow, you really have a mental block about getting your personal life together."
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          • And that is a problem with dc. 6-7-2014 9:13pm
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      • Oof. You need a personal assistant/accountant to handle all that 6-7-2014 9:07pm
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      • Personal assistant sounds promising...(more) 6-7-2014 9:10pm
        How much do they cost, if you know?
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    • OP here: yes, I have hired help. Need a new solution....(more) 6-7-2014 9:08pm
      Wife isn't nuts, at least not conventionally. She doesn't qualify as a hoarder -- I can disappear things and she usually doesn't complain, she's not saving stuff for the apocalypse, and here's a biggie: when her friends are coming over, suddenly (or rather, after a frenzied 48 to 72 hours), she gets all her stuff boxed up or hidden. Then it all starts again, and accretes with amazing rapidity. We have a great nanny, who says she's never seen anything like it. We hired a great housekeeper, but what she does is clean -- she can't deal with work papers, kids' medical forms, personal letters, etc. etc. that are piled around. And it's not just paper: unreturned Zappos and Amazon stuff, you name it. I have taken on 100% of the running-of-the-household tasks, and her job (private school's lawyer) is pretty moderate, with 3 months off in the summer. She says she wants to change, and makes efforts to do so that last about 48 hours. So what is
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      • She needs an asst 6-7-2014 9:10pm
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      • OP here: I never considered an assistant. OK, that will be step one. THANKS. 6-7-2014 9:12pm
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      • I want the job! Are you in NYC? 7-10-2014 12:01am
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  18. Elementary - no subject -...(more) 6-5-2014 10:34pm (0 replies)
    Have a child with high avg IQ with processing , attention and reading comp issues. Looking to see what sp needs school would fit her best
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  19. Elementary DH and I are in therapy we went this morning and I'm just now able to process what he said. He feels that I don't initiate sex or want it at all. he feels like he is just the dad...(more) 6-4-2014 5:12pm (2 replies)
    and pay check and that that he tries to initiate romance and I'm tired all the time. While I agree and told him we need to work on this and I need to start feeling good about having sex (I have body image issues post baby). He said man I get jealous when so and so tells me how he and his wife were having sex when the kid walked in and how a co worker says he loves when his wife gives him a pre business trip BJ that it's their thing before car picks up she gives him a bj. It hit me my dh has wife envy
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    • what did therapist say? 6-4-2014 5:14pm
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    • I would love my husband to travel more. If that's all it takes, I'm on my knees! 6-4-2014 5:14pm
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  20. Elementary How often do you see couples where one person is really good looking and the other really is not? 6-2-2014 12:21am (2 replies)
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    • Most of the couples i know equal each other in attractiveness, i think that is pretty standard 6-2-2014 12:23am
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    • Sometimes. Usually it's the woman who is ugly 6-2-2014 12:53am
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  21. Elementary She's alive!!!! 6-2-2014 12:20am (0 replies)
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  22. Elementary I heard sil say i dress like i just left the trailer park circa 1985 6-2-2014 12:16am (2 replies)
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    • Do you wear jean shorts? 6-2-2014 12:16am
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    • I would have fun with that. Next time age hosted a family gathering id show her what 1985 trailer fashion reall 6-2-2014 12:19am
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  23. Elementary Who wears Lilly Pulitzer? 6-2-2014 12:11am (5 replies)
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    • One of my friends who is preppy and does NOT have good taste in clothing. At all. 6-2-2014 12:11am
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    • My teen nieces and Southerners 6-2-2014 12:12am
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    • Isn't that the fair wage lady? 6-2-2014 12:14am
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    • Lots if people where I live in CT. Ugh 6-2-2014 12:17am
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  24. Elementary 12 yr old ds text messages indicate he and his friends are zapped. What does this mean? If I ask him he will be quicker in deleting his texts. 6-1-2014 8:39am (6 replies)
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    • - no subject -...(more) 6-1-2014 8:41am
      • None of those seem to apply. 6-1-2014 8:42am
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    • He's definitely butt-chugging. 6-1-2014 8:42am
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    • Are they gamers? It's a has to thing or there's a new Disney show with zendaya called zapped coming out 6-1-2014 8:45am
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    • zapped like in a video game 6-1-2014 8:52am
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    • I would assume either tired from staying up all night gaming or they're experimenting with drugs 6-1-2014 9:03am
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  25. Elementary I'm depressed today. I work all week long and today has been boring....(more) 5-31-2014 6:56pm (1 reply)
    DD has been sleeping for hours after a sleepover last night. DH and ds are out to dinner. Why work all week and look forward to the weekend? Plus, argued with ds last night. Just depressed. LOastly, dh never got me a bd gift. I know I sound like a baby. I just feel unappreciated. I'm good enough to work 50-60 hrs during the week but not good enough for a gift. He doesn't even know I'm upset. Every w/e he says "We need to get you a gift!" Does he ever persue it?
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    • Mine didn't give am a gift or dinner out for 15 year anniv or Mother's Day this year 5-31-2014 6:58pm
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