Cleveland

  1. Cleveland I have 3 guys right now. One fwb that I see once a week, no emotions, 3 yrs; one very close boyfriend talk hours a day and see about 2x a month, sometimes quick meetings just to...(more) 6 hr 53 min ago (2 replies)
    say hi, 7 months; and one hot as hell guy I rarely talk to but we hook up once a month, 6 months. This is actually the perfect balance for me.
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    • Did you meet them online or in real life? 1 hr 20 min ago
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    • Do they know about each other? 1 hr 10 min ago
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  2. Cleveland Got on AM to distract myself and met a really adorable guy. Meeting in person next week. I should not do this. 7-28-2015 11:24pm (3 replies)
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    • You should not 7-28-2015 11:46pm
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    • For dinner? Coffee? Will you be physical with him right away? 12 hr 7 min ago
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      • At a club. No, will have my period which is just as well. I don't want to jump into bed minutes after meeting. He knows it's not gonna happen too so no expectations. He's super...(more) 56 min ago
        excited, it's so cute.
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  3. Cleveland Has anyone here successfully changed something big about themself? Like an unhealthy pattern or habit or addiction? Need inspiration. Thanks 7-28-2015 4:05pm (2 replies)
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    • read "out of the shadows" by Patrick Carnes. 13 hr 59 min ago
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    • What are you wanting to change? Get out of your affair or something else? 11 hr 7 min ago
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  4. Cleveland Please tell me how great it's going to be once I clear him from my mental space. How much more I'll be able to accomplish and enjoy out of life. I need encouragement :( 7-28-2015 4:01pm (1 reply)
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    • I'm going through the same thing. What's your situation? 10 hr 11 min ago
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  5. Cleveland Anyone on? 7-27-2015 6:56am (2 replies)
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  6. Cleveland Does your DH ever get foot massages? 7-26-2015 8:50pm (3 replies)
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    • No. Why would he? 7-26-2015 8:53pm
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    • no one who touch his feet 7-26-2015 8:55pm
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    • is that when you jack off between 2 oiled feet? 7-27-2015 1:55pm
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  7. Cleveland *No flames post* People having affairs...does it ever bother you that you cannot do certain things? 7-26-2015 8:40pm (25 replies)
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    • You mean with affair? 7-26-2015 8:41pm
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    • DH is a nasty man. He also stopped having sex with me. The decision to have an affair was very, very easy. And no regrets. 7-26-2015 8:41pm
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      • why don't you divorce? 7-26-2015 8:42pm
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      • But do you feel like you can't do certain things in public? 7-26-2015 8:47pm
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    • Not anymore, but yes I would get sad that we couldn't go do normal things, would never meet each other's friends, that sort of thing 7-26-2015 8:48pm
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      • Are you with him/her officially now? 7-26-2015 8:49pm
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        • No, it's over. 7-26-2015 8:50pm
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      • ^^and I know it bothered him a lot, that he couldn't hold my hand, be affectionate in public, etc. 7-26-2015 8:50pm
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        • Yea, that's the thing 7-26-2015 8:50pm
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          • He was single, though, so I'm not sure a married man would have those same feelings 7-26-2015 8:52pm
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            • may I ask? Did you think about him when you were not with him? 7-26-2015 9:05pm
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              • Oh yes. All the time. 7-26-2015 9:12pm
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                • Do you think he thought of you? Cause I am you. :( 7-26-2015 9:15pm
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                  • You are a dw seeing a single guy? I know my guy thought about me a lot, and I know it started to eat at him. The fact that he grew to care about someone who wasn't available on...(more) 7-26-2015 9:25pm
                    many levels. He told me this several times and finally concluded it was too painful to continue. And it was not in his best interests and was stopping him from finding true happiness. I was fairly devastated to end the relationship but I let him go because I did truly care about him and what we were doing was harming us both.
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                    • Both married 7-26-2015 9:27pm
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                      • You've got it bad, I take it? 7-26-2015 9:30pm
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                        • yes. he's the one who started talking about feelings though 7-26-2015 9:38pm
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                          • Yeah, it just gets deeper and deeper. I'm sure you know, but you will never find happiness going this route. The deeper you go, the more painful it will be. :-( 7-26-2015 9:40pm
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                            • I should just walk away 7-26-2015 9:55pm
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                    • You sound like my guy. Why couldn't you leave? Just not on the table? Mine is going back and forth. I had to walk away. 7-26-2015 10:52pm
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    • the biggest thing is not being able to spend the night together. To wake up together 7-26-2015 9:26pm
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    • Stop trying to normalize having an affair 7-26-2015 9:27pm
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      • Yea, I know it's fucked up, Big time 7-26-2015 9:27pm
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    • Yes. It's the main reason we keep breaking up. 7-26-2015 10:50pm
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  8. Cleveland PSA - Don't have an affair. 7-26-2015 12:22am (1 reply)
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    • too late 7-26-2015 6:01pm
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  9. Cleveland Affair and I split up very suddenly a year ago. He crossed a line with me and I was just done. I hadn't seen him since then, although in March he sent me a breezy "best wishes"...(more) 7-25-2015 12:21am (7 replies)
    email for my birthday. I didn't acknowledge it. I knew I'd see him this summer, bc we work out in the same outdoor track. I saw him there today and he started jumping up and down, calling my name across several lanes and waving with a huge smile on his face, trying to get my attention. WTF? I played deaf. Why is he acting this way?
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    • What was the line he crossed? You definitely still like him. 7-25-2015 12:23am
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      • OP: I know you won't believe me but I don't like him. I was relieved when it ended bc I was getting sick of him. I have scarcely thought about him and I just want to act like the...(more) 7-25-2015 12:24am
        whole thing never happened.
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    • he's not as emotionally invested as you are, so he figures why the hell not 7-25-2015 12:24am
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      • OP: why would you bug someone who obviously no longer wants to talk to you? 7-25-2015 12:25am
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        • pride/maybe he is so dense that he thinks she still has a shot. 7-27-2015 10:30am
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    • He never got the closure he needed. 7-27-2015 11:14am
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    • You imagined he did this. He probably just waved. 7-27-2015 5:23pm
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  10. Cleveland I am the wife. I am trying to figure out, from the caught cheater's perspective, what the likelihood of dh still thinking of/wanting his mistress now that he claims it is over. It...(more) 7-23-2015 4:23pm (71 replies)
    was a 3 year affair. Could you tell me if you've btdt? TIA
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    • I'm divorced from a chronic cheater. He gets off on lying to you. 7-23-2015 4:23pm
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      • ^and my ex and I had sex EVERY DAY. I'm a great partner. We screwed every way possible. No amount of sex keeps these narcissists from straying. 7-23-2015 4:25pm
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        • ^he will put ALL of the work on you. And if you decide it isn't worth it, he will BLAME YOU for the demise of the relationship. He'll say he was trying, and that it is your fault...(more) 7-23-2015 4:28pm
          for not forgiving him.
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          • ^if he goes back to his affair, he will say you DROVE him back with your suspicious questions and lack of trust. 7-23-2015 4:31pm
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            • ^he only wants you to keep face with his family and because he makes life easy. He lied for three years (AT LEAST) and he will lie more. 7-23-2015 4:55pm
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          • Your ex sounds like a sociopath and an asshole. And a sex addict. np 7-24-2015 10:00am
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    • How satisfying is his sex life right now? 7-23-2015 4:24pm
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      • we have sex a lot. that was never the issue 7-23-2015 4:46pm
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    • I bet he wants more of that pussy. 7-23-2015 4:25pm
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    • havent been caught yet but it depends on how much he wants to be in the marriage right now. 7-23-2015 4:26pm
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    • Could you walk away without thinking of someone after 3 years? 7-23-2015 4:29pm
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      • no but I am a needy woman. he is a man. maybe it is different. 7-23-2015 4:46pm
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        • ^plus I filed for divorcce 7-23-2015 4:47pm
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          • ^he is begging me to stay swears he has cut her off 7-23-2015 4:47pm
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      • np:I did it after 5yrs! yes. 7-24-2015 10:16am
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        • You were not caught. You drifted away naturally. 7-24-2015 10:23am
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        • Are you a dw or dh? How long did it take? Were you caught? Tia 7-24-2015 10:59am
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          • If it's who I think she's a dw in a long term long distance affair that ran its course. Not the same as your situation. 7-24-2015 12:02pm
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            • or: i am same poster as below. was in 3 yr caught by his wife. i am also 5yr affair mom. 7-24-2015 1:32pm
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          • or: no I was not caught on my end. im a dw. i still think of him but not enough to want him back. fell into 5yr affair shortly after. 7-24-2015 1:42pm
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            • That's why. You have another outlet. 7-24-2015 4:07pm
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              • yes..BUT... did end up ending that one too. Affair free & it feels great. with that first guy, he kept coming back. I wish his wife would just let him go. she deserves more then...(more) 7-24-2015 4:52pm
                that piece of shit.
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    • I recognize you and your story from the toddler board....(more) 7-23-2015 5:00pm
      I have been in an on again off again affair for more than 3 years. He was caught once and was in agony for months and close to a breakdown at the thought of losing his family. It was really bad. Yet, once things settled down he reached out to me again. He is currently struggling with leaving for real now. I say all this because I know from your toddler board posts that their affair was emotional. I honestly think that when faced with the loss of his family your dh is freaking the fuck out. How much of it is about losing you, you can only know or guess. It's up to you do decide how much of that uncertainty you can accept. Also it's very, very early in the process. Don't make any decisions now. Truthfully he probably in his mind is done with her at this moment, but long term is another story.
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      • I also agree with the poster above that he will try to turn things around on you later if he decides he wants out after all. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. But he will want it on...(more) 7-23-2015 5:03pm
        his terms, not yours, if he does want out.
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      • Op-thank you for your response. Can I ask you a question? I am not trying to flame but do you feel bad about what you are putting his wife through? The mental anguish and agony?...(more) 7-23-2015 6:58pm
        This is a huge betrayal. To be caught and then go back again is huge Tia
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        • I do. But I am more bothered by what he is doing to her, the woman he is married to. I want him to leave her or stay out of my life, but when he reaches out I've so far been too...(more) 7-23-2015 7:34pm
          weak to ignore him. Though I eventually tire of the emotions (guilt, frustration, shame) and cut it off again.
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          • ^your dhs affair likely feels similarly. It's not that we don't feel for the wife or feel bad for what we are doing, but the attachment and feelings towards the man override...(more) 7-23-2015 7:39pm
            those feelings. This is not an excuse or justification, I'm just explaining why I (and I assume she) would stick around. It's part attachment and part weakness, and the fact that the loyalty lies with him, not you. Even if she thinks you are a perfectly nice person and undeserving of being cheated on.
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            • But I was pregnant. Don't you find that deplorable? They went out of town when do was 6 weeks old. I wasn't even done with my postpartum bleeding 7-23-2015 11:09pm
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              • Yeah that is pretty fucking terrible. But your issue should be with him, not her and what she thinks. 7-23-2015 11:48pm
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              • np - that is crappy, but he probably explained it all so that she felt sorry for him. She's probably pissed off with you for being some horrible shrew who won't let him go and be...(more) 7-24-2015 12:56pm
                happy even though you don't love him - evidenced by the fact that you don't care if he is happy as long as he is supporting you.
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                • She's probably not mad at her. 7-24-2015 1:05pm
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        • np - but I'm more bothered that he won't just break clean with her. His cowardice is annoying and it is hurting everyone. He wouldn't love her over me no matter what I did, he'd...(more) 7-24-2015 12:02pm
          just treat her worse if he didn't have me because he'd resent her for his being too chicken shit to leave.
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          • This is not uncommon 7-24-2015 12:04pm
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        • Not trying to flame either, but consider it this way: do you think your DH was thinking about the damage he was doing to his affair's DH?...(more) 10 hr 16 min ago
          Was he thinking about what he was putting that man through? Cheaters aren't thinking of anyone but themselves, and hoping they don't get caught.
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    • My advice from an all too experienced cheater, is do not look to the other woman or cheaters for the answers. 7-23-2015 8:33pm
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      • So you're saying I'm the problem?! 7-23-2015 11:08pm
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        • I think she's saying you need to decide for yourself what you can and cannot live with. - or from above. 7-24-2015 12:17am
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        • postes below...no, he is the problem. 7-24-2015 10:08am
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    • I was the affair. Spoke to wife...she called me. 2 wks later HE called me. & we continued affair. This happened 3x. Such a waste. He wanted me to run away with him. yeah, rightm...(more) 7-24-2015 10:07am
      when I spoke with wife she told me how he'd threatened to killhimself if SHE left him. Its long over now but I know hes out there still fucking around. Sorry for your troubles.
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      • Yuck. I'm glad you are rid of him (op) 7-24-2015 10:59am
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        • or:me too...be was gorgeous tho, but glad to be done with him. 7-24-2015 1:35pm
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    • The odds that it is really over is -45%. Negative. That is like a unicorn. 7-24-2015 11:59am
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      • This. They just take it underground. Hide it better and they will now be tormented lovers thinking they have the love story of the century. 7-24-2015 12:17pm
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        • I disagree. There is a very good chance that being caught has scared him straight. My affair is over. I still think about him and care for him, but not enough to risk hurting...(more) 7-24-2015 3:35pm
          dh and kids.
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          • you're a woman. 7-24-2015 3:43pm
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            • Well yes, but I think men can be scared straight too. Not all, but some. 7-24-2015 3:45pm
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              • yeah - unicorns.. 7-24-2015 3:50pm
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                • How do you know? Are you a dh? Have asked every single affair dh? 7-24-2015 3:55pm
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                  • You are right. I don't KNOW. But I'll tell you that everything I've experienced and seen and read has said that I'm right. Having been in the midst of it - it is like giving up...(more) 7-24-2015 4:00pm
                    smoking or drinking and I will tell you that I will never ever believe an addict has stopped the addiction either based on my experiences. Yes, sure, it happens.. some people kick it. I've not met any and even then - you can have 30 sober years on you but that cig or glass of wine will STILL call your name.
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                    • SLA dh? 7-24-2015 4:08pm
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                      • I don't know what SLA means, but I'm not a man. I'm also not married. 7-24-2015 4:10pm
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              • They can, sure. But every situation is different - how much they care about the marriage and all that comes with it (good and bad) vs how they feel about the affair partner vs...(more) 7-24-2015 4:01pm
                logistics vs money vs whatever else. No 2 are alike.
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                • ^ but if the feelings in the affair are real then there is always the danger of being reignited. 7-24-2015 4:03pm
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        • THIS! 7-25-2015 6:31pm
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    • He wants her more now sadly. 7-24-2015 12:41pm
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      • Fuck 7-24-2015 1:49pm
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      • I doubt that. Maybe still thinks about her, but doesn't mean he still wants her. 7-24-2015 3:37pm
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    • I had a long affair, was caught and couldn't give him up. Was in and out of the affair for a long time before it ended. Its like telling a crack addict to give up cold turkey....(more) 7-24-2015 3:58pm
      Its really fucking hard
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    • Im a dw who was caught. I've been scared straight. There is no way in hell I am going to risk my marriage and family again. Dh and I are in therapy and I know it's a long road but...(more) 7-24-2015 5:23pm
      I am so committed to change and figure out what we and I need to do so this never ever happens again.
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      • but do you still think about him and want him? did the feelings go away? 7-24-2015 6:18pm
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        • if this is op you are looking for answers we cannot give you. he cannot give you. she cannot give you. Nobody can say. YOU have to decide what you can and can't deal with knowing...(more) 7-24-2015 6:24pm
          what you know now. That said, if you stay I'd advise you to always check up on him unless you want your head in the sand (and some do and are ok with that). Protect yourself - whether that means staying or leaving. The people here can't give you the answers.
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        • Or: I think about him but more in a how pathetic kind of way. The feelings I had even a few months ago are already long gone for me 7-24-2015 9:39pm
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    • I don't know how men think, but I know I couldn't be involved with someone for years and never thing about him again. was his emotional or claim it was purely sexual? 7-25-2015 10:13am
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      • it wasn't just sexual. feelings were involved for sure 7-25-2015 7:46pm
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        • Did he admit it? 7-25-2015 10:22pm
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    • My dh is a chronic cheater. judge-away. When he gets caught he throws the affair to the side like a bad habit then says the nastiest things about her. If he want her then so be it...(more) 7-25-2015 11:37pm
      be it.
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  11. Cleveland Why do all these men on AM say the same thing? Looking for passion, intimacy, friendship, I have a good marriage and am not looking to change my situation or yours. They all say...(more) 7-23-2015 12:03pm (30 replies)
    that. Are they being honest or just saying what women want to hear? Why are so many saying the same thing? Are there really millions of married men in this situation? I wonder how their dws feel about the marriage. Someone should do a study on this.
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    • having an affair is a cliche, so why not just go with it? 7-23-2015 12:04pm
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    • I am sure that many people are reasonably happy in their marriages but would like some sex on the side. It's not a big mystery. 7-23-2015 12:07pm
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      • IME, people who think they are happy but want more sex actually have miserable marriages and the lack of sex is a symptom of that. 7-23-2015 12:08pm
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        • or: I disagree. I think that the idealized notion of a happy marriage is pretty rare and that people can be happy with their spouses and still want sex with other people. Marriage...(more) 7-23-2015 12:09pm
          was developed when people lived 30-40 years. Not 100.
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          • justify it however you like. i stand by what I've said. 7-23-2015 12:11pm
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            • or: I am not justifying it, I am just saying that this is the reality 7-23-2015 12:12pm
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              • you are. you're softening/justifying your choice to step out and betray your partner. 7-23-2015 12:13pm
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                • or: I don't cheat, but it doesn't mean I don't understand how people do. Just because I don't engage in a certain behavior doesn't mean I can't see the other perspective....(more) 7-23-2015 12:14pm
                  you disagree, it's important to understand that the way you live your life isn't the way everyone else does
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    • DH here: I haven't cheated, but my experience and that of many of my guy friends is that often the DW simply loses interest in sex, although is often willing to go through the...(more) 7-23-2015 12:14pm
      motions. This is unbelievably demoralizing to men. It makes the rest of the marriage feel like a sham a lot of the time. Not that this justifies cheating, and I haven't done it myself, but I totally get the motivation, and these accounts are pretty plausible. Also, DWs seem to get pretty angry a lot of the time, I wouldn't talk to my worst enemy the way my DW seems to feel free to talk to me.
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      • do you discuss those issues with her? 7-23-2015 12:16pm
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        • We're working on them. As I said, I'm not a cheater, but I can totally understand how people get to a place where they feel justified. 7-23-2015 12:17pm
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          • that's exactly it, though. it's a justification, and avoids the actual issues. 7-23-2015 12:18pm
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            • Well, you sometimes reach a point where you are at in impasse on those issues, and the choice becomes cheat or blow up the family. I try not to judge people who reach that point 7-23-2015 12:19pm
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              • cheating IS blowing up the family. More than breaking up does. 7-23-2015 12:20pm
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                • I think that varies based on circumstances. 7-23-2015 12:21pm
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                  • The toxicity in the household is just off the charts if someone is cheating. 7-23-2015 12:22pm
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      • maybe the anger is justified. My dh does things that would make any woman angry. 7-23-2015 12:31pm
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        • Even when anger is justified, there should be a limit on how it is expressed. Everyone of course gets justifiably angry with their spouse from time to time 7-23-2015 12:59pm
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      • then why do they want to stay in their marriage? 7-23-2015 12:35pm
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        • Kids, usually. Or the marriage has turned into a friendship that is genuinely good but sexually problematic. 7-23-2015 12:58pm
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    • OP. The other interesting common thread in a lot of profiles is that they want one long term affair, not a bunch of hookups. That's interesting as well. 7-23-2015 12:30pm
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      • Risk management. Multiple affairs give a much higher chance of being caught than if you can find a single discreet person. 7-23-2015 1:01pm
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        • and they don't have to work as hard. Win one woman over instead of constant pursuit. 7-23-2015 4:06pm
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          • Yup. Way more efficient. 7-23-2015 4:25pm
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            • Probably true, and thinking about it enrages me. 7-24-2015 3:39pm
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        • I think also they do want a connection they don't have at home. Sure some get off on sex with a variety but some are just human and are lonely. 7-23-2015 5:47pm
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    • They are comfortable enough at home. They see their kids every day. Their wife takes care of them. They are mildly to extremely restless and don't want to give up the things I...(more) 7-23-2015 3:21pm
      mentioned prior. They can compartmentalize this stuff. Women often feel the same about marriage but their unhappiness/restlessness seeps into their lives more and they often are willing to change the situation (divorce) more than men.
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      • ^ And they (men and women) go into it thinking they don't/won't want to change their situation but then feelings and emotions get involved and it fucks it all up. 7-23-2015 3:27pm
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        • YES YES YES!!!! 7-23-2015 4:04pm
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          • np: Vanilla is good, but sometimes you want to try pistachio. 7-24-2015 8:30am
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  12. Cleveland I hate him but want him to want me. 7-22-2015 3:23pm (4 replies)
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    • word...(more) 7-22-2015 3:24pm
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    • Me too. 7-22-2015 4:15pm
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    • That's fine until it takes over your life. 7-23-2015 8:42am
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      • it has. I'm a mess. 7-23-2015 11:53am
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  13. Cleveland Exaffair use to get all pissy when I didnt reach out He made no effort & had the balls to be upset. wtf? 7-22-2015 11:56am (9 replies)
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    • control 7-22-2015 11:57am
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      • was it? unvelievable. & when I didnt a text. or went mia he'd complain on how I could do this to him when I was all he had. ugh. just thinking about it sounds so pathetic. 7-22-2015 12:03pm
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    • Send him tit pics 7-22-2015 12:02pm
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      • are you 12? 7-22-2015 12:09pm
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    • Narcissistic tantrum. Is he married? 7-22-2015 12:14pm
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      • interesting. no, he is not. 7-22-2015 12:33pm
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        • And you are? Well that makes sense that he'd want you to reach out more. 7-22-2015 2:09pm
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          • but t act like a child when I didnt answer his texts or if I had free time & didnt include him. 7-22-2015 2:27pm
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  14. Cleveland What kind of underwear or panties does your affair wear? 7-21-2015 5:08pm (5 replies)
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    • He wears boxer brief panties 7-21-2015 5:09pm
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    • Boxers 7-21-2015 5:11pm
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    • Boxer Brits 7-21-2015 5:21pm
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    • boxers. 7-22-2015 9:52am
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    • she wear silky boy shorts and looks incredible in them! 7-22-2015 6:37pm
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  15. Cleveland He has another woman whom he has not called in 18 months. he called her last week to see if the three of us could get together (with my permission). however, he seemed so...(more) 7-21-2015 2:49pm (19 replies)
    solicitous of her and when I spoke with her, she implied that they has a special relationship and she made it sound like she had some kind of insight into his sould or something. like they shared something i don't have with him but desperately want and that he's been witholding from me but had given to her. i am obsessed with her now. i thought this would be a fun physical thing, but now i am torn apart. i hate myself for ever having gotten into this at all, no less getting so far over my head that i want to die.
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    • it sounds so comforting and romantic. I understand why you're so into it. 7-21-2015 2:52pm
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      • no need to be cruel. it was comforting and romantic, until it wasn't. 7-21-2015 2:52pm
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        • lie down with pigs... 7-21-2015 2:53pm
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          • why are you on cleveland? 7-21-2015 2:53pm
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            • do you really need to be in an echo chamber of positive reinforcement? 7-21-2015 2:55pm
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              • you are a nasty piece of work and i'm in enough misery. logging off. 7-21-2015 2:56pm
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                • just stop having an affair. get some therapy. and start managing your life better. 7-21-2015 2:58pm
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                  • i love him. stupid i know, but i love him. he does not love me. i can stop but i have no idea how to get my life in order. 7-21-2015 3:00pm
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                    • this is why you need therapy. love isn't a feeling. your life is all fucked up, and it is more amusing to imagine some connection with this jackass than it is to work on your...(more) 7-21-2015 3:01pm
                      issues.
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                      • thanks 7-21-2015 3:07pm
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                        • that sounded dismissive. i really am grateful for your advice and time. i just feel so lost in neediness. i can't grasp all this "love yourself" advice. i don't love myself. 7-21-2015 3:09pm
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                          • see, that's really key. I floundered around a lot for years doing really toxic, destructive things. Life can be good. And it doesn't have to appear good to anyone--what they say...(more) 7-21-2015 3:15pm
                            and think doesn't matter. It has to feel good and safe to YOU.
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                            • i feel bored, lonely, unaccomplished, damaged, inhibited and insecre. 7-21-2015 3:24pm
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    • Walk away. He's not that great. It's an addiction for you. 7-21-2015 4:49pm
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      • Probably true np 7-21-2015 4:58pm
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      • op = that's exactly what it is. i feel sick at the tought of my life without him, yet, what do i really have now? and any time i try to reach him and can't, i imagine him with...(more) 7-22-2015 8:44am
        her.
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        • this is fucking with your well-being. take care of yourself and get out. You'll feel better in less than a week, i promise. 7-23-2015 11:54am
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    • Please. That bitch is just fucking with you. Don't do it though. You sound too damaged. This rendezvous will only damage you further. Be strong. 7-21-2015 5:26pm
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      • i am feeling pretty damaged right now. and yes, at first, i thought she was just kind of shooting the breeze with me. but now i feel like she was definitely trying to throw me...(more) 7-22-2015 8:52am
        off balance.
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  16. Cleveland Is your guy a loser or is he successful, accomplished, has a great career? 7-20-2015 4:29pm (3 replies)
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    • he's a cheater, ergo...loser. 7-20-2015 4:31pm
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    • Let's just say it hasn't been the best year for him. 7-20-2015 4:55pm
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    • middle of the road. Owns his own small business. 7-21-2015 12:11pm
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  17. Cleveland I REFUSE to contact him. Its been over a week since we last hooked up. Still a part of me would love to hear from him. Not worth me reaching out for but still. 7-20-2015 3:43pm (1 reply)
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  18. Cleveland I want mac and cheese but I don't have shredded cheese, just sliced mozz. Will that work? 7-20-2015 9:11am (5 replies)
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    • yep 7-20-2015 9:12am
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    • do you have basil and tomatoes? make a margherita mac and cheese. yum yum! 7-20-2015 9:17am
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    • If you put it on your tits 7-20-2015 9:19am
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    • i knew cleveland was kinky- but this is crazy! cheese and macaroni! 7-20-2015 9:22am
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    • Mac is cheating on Cheddar with Mozzeralla 7-20-2015 9:40am
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  19. Cleveland Are you guys all freaking out that you might get busted on Ashley Madison? Someone is threatening to release everyone's credit card info associated with their account...(more) 7-20-2015 8:53am (17 replies)
    • honestly, if someone doubts their partner to the point where they're searching through that list to see if the credit card number matches, the marriage is over anyhow. 7-20-2015 8:54am
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      • They'll be releasing full names, not numbers silly 7-20-2015 8:54am
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        • same thing. my partner wouldn't be looking at that list because he has no reason to feel that. 7-20-2015 8:58am
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          • And yet you are on Cleveland? 7-20-2015 8:59am
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            • a long time ago, I selected it because it was a place I could talk about sex with people. 7-20-2015 9:00am
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              • But you do realize that there are many on here who are having affairs and likely have spouses who are suspicious? Or are you being deliberately obtuse? 7-20-2015 9:02am
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                • I understand absolutely. And I'm telling you--if your spouse is searching that list, there are simply looking for concrete evidence of something they already know and feel. 7-20-2015 9:04am
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                  • And that is why a lot of people on here should be worried. 7-20-2015 9:04am
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                    • Well, no. They should address the actual issues at hand. 7-20-2015 9:05am
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                      • They are on fucking Cleveland talking about their affairs, lady. You are being deliberately obtuse. 7-20-2015 9:06am
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                        • No, I'm giving some advice. I don't coddle people. 7-20-2015 9:07am
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                          • So you're telling people on Cleveland that they need to address their issues? LOL good luck with that 7-20-2015 9:07am
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                            • Yes. Don't worry about getting busted. Take a good look at your life and work on the actual problems instead of running around like a fool. 7-20-2015 9:08am
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                              • I'm not having an affair, you idiot. I came to ask people actually having affairs if they were worried. 7-20-2015 9:09am
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                                • I'm not an idiot at all. 7-20-2015 9:23am
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    • I can't wait to see if my old affair is on it 7-20-2015 9:19am
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    • I signed up for Adult Friend Finder but I mailed in a money order 7-20-2015 9:21am
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  20. Cleveland Be honest. Does your affair have a small dick? How is the sex? 7-18-2015 9:45pm (7 replies)
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    • No. 7-18-2015 10:03pm
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    • not sure if it's a full blown affair, but his dick is not small and sex is really great 7-18-2015 10:03pm
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      • How could it not be a full blown affair when you are having sex? 7-18-2015 10:41pm
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        • she means she hasn't blown him yet 7-19-2015 12:17am
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    • Great dick. 7-18-2015 11:41pm
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    • No it's quite large and the sex is awesome, best I've ever had. 7-18-2015 11:42pm
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    • not small, not big; normal. sex is good - dozen orgasms every time 7-19-2015 12:38am
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  21. Cleveland So I started an AM account. It's kind of scary how many men say they are happily married and do not want to change their situation but are looking for a passionate connection and...(more) 7-18-2015 8:34pm (49 replies)
    hot sex with someone new. It's like a mantra on there, lots of guys saying it. And sending pics of their face just by me asking. Those Toddler ladies would lose their minds over this. They think happily married men don't cheat.
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    • What is AM? 7-18-2015 8:35pm
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      • Ashley Madison, affair site 7-18-2015 8:52pm
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    • no we just don't think it's inevitable or that all men cheat 7-18-2015 8:40pm
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    • Why are you on it? 7-18-2015 8:41pm
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    • Men are such babies. 7-18-2015 9:02pm
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    • Do you have to post your pic? I want to see if any guys I know are on there. 7-18-2015 9:04pm
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      • Me too 7-18-2015 9:40pm
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      • No you don't, they will still send you a "key" to their private pics if you ask. But...it may be hard to find a specific person bc you make up your own name. 7-18-2015 9:59pm
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    • well, that's my situation so it's not surprising to me. 7-18-2015 9:29pm
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      • NP: Tell me more 7-18-2015 9:42pm
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        • My affair fulfills a need that dh can't. Our family life is good, nothing to divorce over 7-18-2015 11:47pm
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          • Describe the need and how affair fill it. 7-18-2015 11:49pm
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            • The need is two things: attention and passionate sex. 7-18-2015 11:54pm
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              • Ok those are my needs too. But I want the closeness and friendship too, which we did develop and with all of that it turned to love and THEN it got ugly with jealousy and hurt. 7-18-2015 11:58pm
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                • We have the closeness and friendship but don't socialize with the same people so there's not the jealousy. He doesn't want a divorce either but there's no reason for me to be...(more) 7-19-2015 12:03am
                  jealous of his wife.
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                  • What about when they go on romantic vacations, weekend getaways, anniversary trips? Those kill me. 7-19-2015 12:15am
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                    • I could never be with someone who did that. Ever. 7-19-2015 12:18am
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                      • Are you the same OR above ? 7-19-2015 12:20am
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                        • no 7-19-2015 12:23am
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                          • Well that is my issue. I feel like shit when he's having a wonderful weekend romp with dw and knows I'm waiting, expecting me to be all adoring and wanting his dick. I mean,...(more) 7-19-2015 12:26am
                            really. Who does he think he is, a fucking king?
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                            • You don't have to do anything you don't want to. 7-19-2015 12:30am
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                              • I want him but hate him. I need him to want me most. It makes no sense. 7-19-2015 12:37am
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                                • It's normal to want to be wanted most. 7-19-2015 12:49am
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                                  • np - i will never be first with mine and it's excruciating. 7-21-2015 2:54pm
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                                    • let go of that. it's normal to want it but it's not important in these situations. 7-22-2015 12:42am
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                        • OR: he goes on trips it doesn't seem all that romantic so it doesn't bother me. And it's different because I don't want to break up his family 7-19-2015 12:39am
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                          • You have a good relationship with your dh? I think that makes a difference. My home life is not great so I'm jealous of his friendship with his dw 7-19-2015 12:41am
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                            • It's not perfect and it's gone down hill but it's not awful. I agree that makes a difference. You need a full life for it to work. I also feel like I need more in my life to make...(more) 7-19-2015 12:45am
                              Sure I don't get too dependent on the affair. Seek out new interests and friends.
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                              • Very smart of you. That is absolutely correct. This is why I drew away from my affair and am working on my own life. 7-19-2015 10:20am
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              • geezes, you have no idea what it means to be happily married then if you think you are. Just not wanting to divorce isn't the only thing it takes to be happily married. 7-20-2015 12:25am
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      • If it is so bad that you want to cheat then just grow up and leave. 7-18-2015 10:25pm
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      • Please explain. Dh and I are passionate but not really friends. If we had that, I'd be the happiest wife ever. 7-18-2015 11:41pm
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        • having friendship outside of your marriage is fine though. Bad sex in marriage is a harder problem to solve 7-19-2015 12:48am
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    • My affair is happily married. 7-18-2015 9:34pm
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      • does that make you sad? i want mine to love me and he never will 7-21-2015 2:50pm
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    • I kind of feel that way...I'm happily married but lack passion. :( 7-18-2015 9:42pm
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      • No. You are not happily married. You say you lack passion with a stupid frowning face. 7-19-2015 8:16pm
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        • THIS THIS THIS 7-19-2015 8:24pm
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        • Ok, so what do I do? Everything else is really good 7-19-2015 8:54pm
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          • that may be - but everything else being good doesn't = happily married. Just be honest is all, you aren't happily married. You just don't want to divorce. 7-20-2015 12:23am
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            • for you happily married=perfection. most marriages aren't like that. especially after many years. 7-20-2015 1:40am
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              • We get this but if it's too the point you are cheating then it's pretty bad or you are bad. (I am a cheater.) 7-20-2015 4:27pm
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                • it's not that bad that i can justify cheating so i agree that leaves me in the other category. 7-22-2015 12:45am
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    • They are not happily married. They are just scared shitless of not seeing their kids everyday and paying child support. That's the situation they don't want changed. 7-19-2015 8:14pm
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    • I would submit they are NOT happily married if they are looking for a "passionate connection" outside their marriage. 7-19-2015 8:24pm
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    • I still think happily married men don't cheat. They are lying about cheating - you think they are honest about the state of their marriage? 7-20-2015 12:22am
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      • you are naive if you believe this. clearly they have an issue but men in good relationships can still cheat 7-20-2015 10:47am
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        • A man in a good relationship isn't cheating. There is something wrong with it. That isn't being naive, that is understanding that just because someone thinks it is good, that...(more) 7-20-2015 2:21pm
          doesn't mean it it. A lot of people are cheating in relationships they don't want to end. That doesn't mean it is a good one.
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        • lol. define 'good'. 7-20-2015 2:32pm
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  22. Cleveland I'm going to have a couple drinks tonight. Please tell me not to contact ex-affair. 7-18-2015 5:41pm (25 replies)
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    • Where are you? How about if we send a guy over to you? 7-18-2015 5:43pm
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      • I was just thinking I need a way to get over him. That might do it. 7-18-2015 5:44pm
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    • Was his dick hot? 7-18-2015 5:43pm
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      • Very :( 7-18-2015 5:44pm
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        • boxers, boxer briefs, or briefs? 7-18-2015 5:44pm
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          • This is what you want to k ow about him? How boring. Ask me something good. 7-18-2015 5:48pm
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            • did you wear a condom? how old was he? 7-18-2015 5:48pm
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              • No and 49 7-18-2015 5:50pm
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                • why not? where did he cum? were you tested? is he married? 7-18-2015 5:51pm
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                  • Bc I hate them 7-18-2015 5:52pm
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                  • We are both disease free 7-18-2015 5:52pm
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                    • did he cum in your cooch 7-18-2015 5:53pm
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                      • Yes.....and my mouth and on my tits. Loved that. 7-18-2015 5:54pm
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                  • Yes of course he's married, to a truly beautiful woman who is better than me in every way. Only thing I have is bigger boobs and 4 yrs younger. That's nothing. 7-18-2015 5:53pm
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                • how did you meet? how did you break up? 7-18-2015 5:51pm
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                  • Met online. I broke it off bc it got too painful when "love" reared its head. Plus he's a douche but I keep forgetting that part. 7-18-2015 5:54pm
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                    • pub crawl affair? 7-21-2015 11:06pm
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            • answer the questioN! 7-18-2015 5:48pm
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              • Boxer briefs in weird patterns and colors. What's that online place that sends a new pair of underwear a month or whatever? He did that. 7-18-2015 5:51pm
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                • what's the kinkiest thing you ever did with him? was he good in bed? how long did he last? 7-18-2015 5:52pm
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                  • Kinkiest....hm...walked through a cemetery and blew him in a secluded area. Also met just for lunch one time and ended up getting a hotel room where we ripped each other's clothes...(more) 7-18-2015 5:58pm
                    Off and attacked each other, that was so hot like a movie. Lots of playing with toys, went to adult toy shop together to choose items. No anal, he's way too big. Wonderful in bed, best I ever ever had. We'd spend 4 hours fucking and talking and he wouldn't orgasm til I told him to after several hours.
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                    • whore alert 7-18-2015 10:45pm
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    • Op. I might start an AM account to distract me. I'll share the lines I get from guys. 7-18-2015 5:50pm
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    • how'd u do? 7-19-2015 3:23pm
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  23. Cleveland How long does it take to get over a 3 yr affair where you were very caught? Tia 7-18-2015 2:39pm (6 replies)
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    • if it truly over and there is no contact, I'd say it would take 6 months just to start to feel normal again. If it was heavily emotional, I don't know if you ever really get over...(more) 7-18-2015 2:41pm
      it but I'd say a year
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    • It took you 3 years to get here, it will take a long time to get out. Over time you will realize that you aren't getting over the person, you are getting over how it all made you...(more) 7-18-2015 3:00pm
      feel and healing from the hurt you inflicted on yourself. I still deal with anger - mostly at myself for letting someone treat me like I was so beneath him (which I'm not)
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    • what do you mean where you were very caught? are you married? is he? is divorce in the picture? how did it end? how much emotion? so many variables. 7-18-2015 4:47pm
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    • 5 yr & over here: the moment it happens. done. 7-19-2015 3:22pm
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      • not really applicable 7-19-2015 5:24pm
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        • then he means too much to you. dumb situation. If I were caught I would have been scared shit of carrying on. again, no point of having an affair at all. 7-19-2015 8:06pm
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  24. Cleveland This post has been disliked 6 times. showI'm getting to see affair tomorrow night which is a real rarity.. super hot to get dressed up for him at home with DH, have DH pick which outfit looks best on me 7-17-2015 11:15pm (2 replies)
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    • ur a whore lol 7-17-2015 11:20pm
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  25. Cleveland DH here:DW had affair and I busted her. Now I am reading all her posts that I attribute to her. Wow she must really hate me. The shit I found on here. 7-17-2015 4:10pm (19 replies)
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    • She didn't clear her posts 7-17-2015 4:11pm
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      • Nope saw posts going back more than a year and half. 7-17-2015 4:51pm
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    • Fake 7-17-2015 4:12pm
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    • she does. Women dont fuck around long term without a reason. What did you do to make her cheat? 7-17-2015 4:16pm
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      • You mean besides loving her. Going ng to work and her fucking around while dcs are at school or I'm looking after them while she is "out with friends? 7-17-2015 4:50pm
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        • Is she a stay at home mom? 7-17-2015 5:16pm
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          • Yes. Both dcs in new school FT. 7-17-2015 5:24pm
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        • No, I mean she needs something you aren't giving her. Figure it out. 7-18-2015 10:42am
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    • How the hell do you know which are hers!? 7-17-2015 6:22pm
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      • Some I can figure out. Based on her writing style and what she posting about. And the stuff she has confessed. 7-17-2015 6:39pm
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        • Lol. A lot of us on here have really similar stories. 7-17-2015 6:48pm
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      • Probably by going under "My Posts" and reading them. Are you that dim? 7-20-2015 8:51am
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    • June mom? 7-17-2015 6:53pm
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    • <<clearing posts>> 7-17-2015 7:58pm
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    • what did she say? 7-17-2015 11:11pm
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    • Why do you think she had an affair to begin with? 7-20-2015 8:50am
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    • Hi dh 7-20-2015 3:22pm
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