Cleveland

  1. Cleveland I'd like him to know how mcuh he hurt me, but there is no way so I have to move on 1 hr 27 min ago (71 replies)
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    • Still together? 1 hr 20 min ago
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      • No 1 hr 10 min ago
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        • what happened? 1 hr 8 min ago
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          • He totally used me 1 hr 2 min ago
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            • sexually? 1 hr 1 min ago
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              • yes 1 hr 1 min ago
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                • How long did it last? 1 hr ago
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                  • Oh not long at all, not sure why I am even posting on Cleveland. 58 min ago
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                    • ^^I don't know how to say this, or even if it is true...but I think he took advantage. I'm pretty embarrassed to even talk about it 57 min ago
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                      • Im more than willing to listen 57 min ago
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                        • We did NOT have sex, but totally heavy touching and I really just feel gross 55 min ago
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                          • ^^all this Bill Cosby talk makes me feel pretty foolish in the scheme of things, but I jsut feel "off" 55 min ago
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                    • ITs never easy to move on but at least it wasn't prolonged. 57 min ago
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                      • No, it was not. Only one evening. I really cringe even thinking about it 56 min ago
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                        • Quick bj mom? 55 min ago
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                          • No, no. I didn't touch him, kissed, but he had his hands in my underwear. ugh. 53 min ago
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                            • IS this a freak thing for you or have you had issues at home? 51 min ago
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                              • Total freak thing. No issues at home. DH and I are solid 50 min ago
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                                • I mean, we have no major issues to speak fo 49 min ago
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                        • Was there sexual tension before? Was it solely a one night thing? 53 min ago
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                          • Never before, but there is now, it was a one night drunken thing 53 min ago
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                            • and texted me recently, are we cool? friend again? ugh 51 min ago
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                              • What a jerk off. 49 min ago
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                                • And I stupidly thought he actually cared about my feelings, but I realize now, he only did it to make himself feel better. And I don;t even know how he got my cell number 47 min ago
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                                  • he doesn't care about your feelings. He's a horny creep who saw an opportunity to mess around with a drunk woman. I hate him for you. 15 min ago
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                            • How did he hurt you? 50 min ago
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                              • Emotionally, not physically. I am probably making a mountain out out of a molehill 48 min ago
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                                • What are your expectations? Did he make you promises? 45 min ago
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                                  • No, no promise. I'm not sure WHAT I expect...I guess that;s the problem,. I just feel dirty and used. I suppose that's MY issue 43 min ago
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                                    • I dont understand. If things are solid with DH why did you go down this road? 43 min ago
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                                      • It happened at a weekend thing, I was away with friends. Me, him and another friend were up late. I went to the bathroom, came out to find my friend had gone to bed. I was going...(more) 40 min ago
                                        to bed too but wanted to get my phone that was charging in the kitchen. I went to grab it and he grabbed me.
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                                        • and I want to clairfy, there was no sex, just some kissing and touching before I realized what was going on and just ran away 39 min ago
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                                        • Sounds a bit predatory if there was no connection before. 39 min ago
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                                          • OP: I have to say, this was THE last guy I would have expected. 38 min ago
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                                            • they often are. btdt. 33 min ago
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                                              • Ironic, isn't it??? 31 min ago
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                                          • ita 26 min ago
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                                    • Sounds like you both were into it. I don't know why you feel used? 30 min ago
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                                      • I wasn't. It took me a second or two to realize what was going on 27 min ago
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                                        • But it lasted 15 minutes? Were you fighting him off? 9 min ago
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                                          • Oh I said 15 minutes, but I really don;t know..that's probably an exaggeration. 7 min ago
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    • He will never get it. Don't waste your breath. 1 hr 17 min ago
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      • I know, I know. I know this so much, but still... 1 hr ago
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        • Stay far far away and get therapy. Np 39 min ago
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          • I was wondering if I should. I mean the whole thing was less than 15 minutes, but I just keep feeling awful. I can't explain it. I feel like I should move on, but I have this...(more) 37 min ago
            feelings like I am a horrible person
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            • You are not. It was a mistake. 37 min ago
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              • I know, it was a drunken mistake. I want to forget it, but I keep replaying it my head? What did I do? Why me? Do I look like a victim? Is there something about me that looks...(more) 35 min ago
                weak?
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                • I even feel silly feeling this way, there are so many "real" victims. I guess, I knew him, and thougt I'd be safe...so dumb all around. 34 min ago
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                • It was a mistake. IT doesn't make you bad. It means you made a mistake. Your life and marriage is not summed up in those few minutes. 34 min ago
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                  • I try to keep telling myself that, I try to push it away. It's just so so stupid. But his text "Are we cool, friend again?" just made me feel like a tool, I don;t even know if...(more) 30 min ago
                    that is the right word
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                    • He is an asshole. You've encountered many and will encounter more. You've learned a lesson. We are never too old for that. 29 min ago
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                    • douche. don't let him have this power over your emotions. 28 min ago
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                    • hhe texted you to test the waters. He made a move because you were giving a vibe. He thought you would be game and he was right 27 min ago
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                      • That's what makes me question myself...and makes me think I am a bad person 26 min ago
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                        • ^^and I never gave him my number, he must have gotten it from a group text or soemthing 25 min ago
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                        • Sounds like you are weak and have boundary issues. You were drunk? Are you a heavy drinker? Sounds like he was taking advantage of you in a vulnerable state honestly. Just...(more) 21 min ago
                          stay away. You won't though
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                          • I'm sure she will and you sound like a jaded and angry ass 20 min ago
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                            • are you reading her posts? She's obsessed and has been for months. 19 min ago
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                              • doesn't man shell go back. obsessed and damaged, but not into him. 17 min ago
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                                • She's into the attention and drama. For her sake, I hope she stays strong. It could get very messy. 13 min ago
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                                • I think I am perhaps a little obessed with what led me to this place. I have a wonderful DH, seriously the best, and I never even noticed this guy AT ALL, he came on to ME. I am...(more) 7 min ago
                                  not claiming to be a victin, because he must have seen soemthing n me that made me seem like I was approachable or something, It kills me I have this secret from my DH, it's almost worse than the 5 minute groping
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                          • I was drunk, but not a heavy drinker. I've been avoiding this person like the plauge (sp?) but see him often. I do not engage at all 10 min ago
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                            • you said above it lasted 15 minutes and you've been very emotional about this for months. You must have liked something about it. Be honest- do you secretly like bumping into him?...(more) 7 min ago
                              Do you dress better when you know it's a possibility?
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                              • I think 15 minutes was an exaggeratin, I feel foolish. It probably was like 2 mintues or less! But I guess i feel pretty foolish for feeling bad about a short amt of time. IDK....(more) 5 min ago
                                Nothing like this has happened to me.
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                                • I mean, should I get therapy for something that was a blip in the scheme of things? I just feel like a freak 3 min ago
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                                  • enough. get your shit together. 3 min ago
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                                    • Yes, yes. I need to, I know this on every rational level! ANd I can be a rational person, that's what makes me think there is something wrong with me 1 min ago
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                                  • yoube 1 min ago
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                                  • youve been posting about this for months. If its not a big deal then stop thinking about it 12 sec ago
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                                • I would tell your Dh. You are keeping a secret. Not good. 2 min ago
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                                  • To be honest, I think that is what is eating at me more than anything, but would I be telling him to make myself feel better? How would that make him feel? 7 sec ago
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  2. Cleveland There are few worse feelings than loving someone who you can't have. 1 hr 39 min ago (23 replies)
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    • Great a lot of whining about how tough it is to be a whore. 1 hr 36 min ago
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      • And yet you read Cleveland. 1 hr 32 min ago
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    • I thought that was bad, but worse is realizing he doesn't love you as much as you thought, as much as he continues to claim he does. Giving me chest pains. Just getting thru the...(more) 1 hr 33 min ago
      hours one at a time.
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      • I think about her all the time. Chest pains are real. I understand. 1 hr 31 min ago
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        • So what do we do? 1 hr 30 min ago
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          • move on? accept reality? find someone who cares for you as much as you them? stay miserable? learn how to cope with the pain? 1 hr 29 min ago
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            • Someday I hope to have a man who puts our relationship first. Before alcohol, before another woman, before drugs. If I can't have that I'll be alone. Fuck this shit. 1 hr 23 min ago
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              • Are you both married? 1 hr 22 min ago
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                • Yes. He doesn't have the drug/alcohol problems, that's dh. 1 hr 21 min ago
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                  • Is there another man in your life? I am confused. 1 hr 19 min ago
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                    • I love affair, who is married to a perfect dw. I am married to do who is an alcoholic. 1 hr 18 min ago
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                      • How does affair feel about you? 1 hr 17 min ago
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                        • Says he loves me, thinks about me all the time. Bullshit. He's very comfortable with perfect dw. When I kind of whined about how hard it was he said we are both married and have...(more) 1 hr 13 min ago
                          our own lives and doing this for our own reasons. It wasn't as cold as it sounds I guess but it let me know I am just a little thrill in his perfect life, not the love he keeps claiming I am. "My Love" fucking bullshit.
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                          • ^i just want him to flat out admit I am just his fuck toy. But he's be all hurt and offended I'd even think that. It is what it is. 1 hr 12 min ago
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                            • What is it you are looking for? If you want more than sex, talk to him. If he can't give you support, then move on. If DH is that bad and the other guy won't provide the support,...(more) 1 hr 8 min ago
                              then the options are clear. Don't mistake sex for compassion. Deal with DH, divorce DH, confront affair or find someone who wants to be your friend.
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                              • The other guy does give a lot of support. I just love him a lot more than he loves me and that is humiliating. But you are right, I need to deal with dh and figure things out. 1 hr 5 min ago
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                                • I understand. I love mine, but its far more emo. Unfortunately, I think I have been cut off. Its all humiliating. 1 hr 2 min ago
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        • are you a dh? 42 min ago
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          • Yes 41 min ago
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            • why are you not with her if you care so much? 32 min ago
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              • Because nothing is that easy. I want to. I really do. 30 min ago
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    • oh i remember that but trust me there are worse, way worse. have you grieved a lost loved onea? though i suppose death makes them someone you cannot have. but death of a beloved...(more) 1 hr 29 min ago
      person is so much worse than anything i coul dhave understood.
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      • Of course. Death of a loved one trumps most things. 1 hr 26 min ago
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  3. Cleveland How do you respond when aff vents about spouse? 1 hr 54 min ago (2 replies)
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    • He doesn't do it much but I'm pretty much silent. 1 hr 31 min ago
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    • I just listen. She has issues (as do we all) and from what I can understand they're marriage sucks. 53 min ago
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  4. Cleveland Have a crush on someone I hate 3 hr 14 min ago (5 replies)
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    • Makes the sex hotter 3 hr 13 min ago
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      • We don't have sex 3 hr 13 min ago
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    • How is it possible to have crush on someone you hate? 3 hr 3 min ago
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    • me too. I don't hate him always but when his politics, worldview or douchebaggery come out I do 1 hr 54 min ago
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      • I don't hate him. I just wish I never met him 1 hr 53 min ago
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  5. Cleveland So, period still not here. Haven't tested yet, because its on its way... 5 hr 5 min ago (0 replies)
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  6. Cleveland If he's not unhappy at home he won't leave no matter he feels about you or his wife. 5 hr 21 min ago (11 replies)
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    • He's never going to leave her, you whore. 5 hr 19 min ago
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      • except they do sometimes. 5 hr 14 min ago
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    • If he is unhappy with his wife, he'd be unhappy at home. 5 hr 11 min ago
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    • not leaving.sorry. he is coasting. content. 5 hr 7 min ago
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      • Exactly - op 5 hr 5 min ago
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      • Sounds like an awesome husband to keep. 5 hr 5 min ago
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        • Well I think that's most marriages 5 hr 2 min ago
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          • no, it really doesn't. 5 hr 1 min ago
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        • most men are like this. why disrupt a good thing? 5 hr 2 min ago
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          • no, most men don't cheat and just keep doing it happily. 5 hr 1 min ago
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            • most men that DO cheat 4 hr 45 min ago
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  7. Cleveland Suggestions how to stay occupied so I don't think about him and check my phone for msgs? 10 hr 9 min ago (3 replies)
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    • Go to yoga 10 hr 8 min ago
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    • detox mom here. what do you enjoy not affair related? 6 hr 49 min ago
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      • Not a lot. That's my problem. 1 hr 30 min ago
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  8. Cleveland "But I love you so much as a friend." Is there anything worse to hear from a man who strung you along for two yrs of emo and sexting? My emo resurfaced in a heavy way and...(more) 16 hr 5 min ago (14 replies)
    Something in me just snapped, told him not to contact me any more. Will still have to see him now and then. I will never understand what this man ever wanted. Qbj mom for those who remember.
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    • ^that was supposed to be qbj 16 hr 4 min ago
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    • I know it's hard, but it's probably best for you to try to just move on 16 hr 3 min ago
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      • Op: Ty. Know you're right. I was doing better then he began contacting me again, then tons every day. Needed to put it to a stop 16 hr 1 min ago
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        • That's really very inconsiderate and thoughtless of him. I think you should remember that he's being quite selfish by doing that to you when you feel yourself getting sad abou...(more) 15 hr 59 min ago
          t him
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          • Ty. It is selfish and humiliating to have been good enough to be phone porn but obviously not good enough for anything real. 15 hr 43 min ago
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            • You can't let yourself think about it that way. The failing was his. He was not honest with himself or with you about what he wants. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you...(more) 15 hr 40 min ago
              are a sexy, desirable, lovable woman who will find someone lucky enough to want to make you happy
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              • Ty. That's kind. Still can't help feeling if I had a better body or was prettier that he would have went for it kwim? I mean if I looked like any say hot actress or model, would...(more) 15 hr 31 min ago
                he have had such restraint? Doubt it. That's what I keep coming back to. I was not desirable enough. I'm not fishing for a compliment from a stranger here. I just think that's the bottom line truth.
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                • No. No. No. It's far more complicated than that. While I understand -- believe me -- the slide into self-criticism, you have to look at it more broadly. There are all sorts of...(more) 15 hr 26 min ago
                  perfectly understandable practical and emotional reasons for him to back out that have not one thing to do with your desirability. The selfish thing is that he isn't leaving you alone even though he isn't willing to go through with this. He's only coming back to have is own ego massaged. That's cruel and selfish. Find someone new. You deserve it and he will be good to you.
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                  • Sigh. Ty. Not sure I ever want to do anything like this again 13 hr 33 min ago
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                • Nope if you were a super hot actress he's have performance anxiety and not be able to get it up. He's a loser baby. 10 hr 3 min ago
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    • What a dipshit. Him. Not you. 13 hr 55 min ago
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      • Op: I'll take that. Thx! :) 13 hr 33 min ago
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        • Seriously. What sort of a fucking loser acts this way? 10 hr 17 min ago
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    • So his other pursuits have dried up and he's back to you. I would only use this contact as a way to ask him questions about his sexual dysfunction and why he backed off. Otherwise...(more) 7 hr 55 min ago
      He's not worth your time and dignity
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  9. Cleveland Had drunk sex with DH last night and he admitted that his biggest fantasy is to watch me fuck another guy 11-21-2014 11:16pm (6 replies)
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    • Hello me. That is what dh is pressing for. 11-21-2014 11:17pm
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      • have you ever cheated on him? 11-21-2014 11:18pm
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        • no 11-21-2014 11:19pm
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          • what do you say back to him? 11-21-2014 11:20pm
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    • Pretty sure my exh was turned on thinking about me and my affair togther after he found out about us. 15 hr 36 min ago
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    • both dh & exaff talked about this. totally bullshit when i tried to get them together. 11 hr 41 min ago
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  10. Cleveland Detox mom here. seems like he is doing the same. last communication was on wednesday. 11-21-2014 8:03pm (7 replies)
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    • ^^^I was tempted to text him just now. Came here first. 11-21-2014 8:06pm
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    • Focus only on YOU. Focus on the positives of not having to deal with him. No constant texting/being chained to your phone. No horrible, relentless guilt and fear of getting...(more) 11-21-2014 8:49pm
      caught. You are getting free of him and of this entire situation. It was not a good situation. You are doing the right thing. Stay focused. Don't let your "addicted to the affair" side take over.
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      • op:still clean. thank you 11-21-2014 11:11pm
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        • Np: :) good job. I am a 9 hr 20 min ago
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          • ^^^also no communication from either of us since Wednesday AM, after...(more) 9 hr 18 min ago
            His lame, non responsive email. I am proud of this little accomplishment. Every day it's a bit harder bc it solidifies more that he is done. But every day I also feel a bit more empowered.....
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            • op:right. Each day that goes by its just proof I meant so little & we were together for 3yrs. 6 hr 46 min ago
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              • ^^^how long were you guys together? 6 hr 39 min ago
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  11. Cleveland What would be a good opening line to say to someone you often see during your commute? 11-21-2014 11:57am (4 replies)
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    • Crazy weather, huh? 11-21-2014 11:57am
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    • "I have a question, and I wanted the [male/female] POV on it. Would you mind if I asked you?" 11-21-2014 11:59am
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    • you may remember me from such trains as the 7:15 out of Matawan 11-21-2014 12:00pm
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    • "Ever been to Boston? Wanna fuck?" 11-21-2014 8:48pm
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  12. Cleveland Quick shout out to an old friend. I saw you walking on Park last night. You still look fucking hot. 11-21-2014 10:13am (13 replies)
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    • are you a dh or dw? 11-21-2014 11:28am
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      • Dh 11-21-2014 11:28am
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        • did you meet your "friend" here? 11-21-2014 11:30am
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    • What makes her so hot and what happened to her? 11-21-2014 11:38am
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    • Sup Stalker 11-21-2014 1:00pm
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    • KC still drooling for Q. Go to the dentist! 11-21-2014 2:44pm
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      • i do miss Q (I'm not KC) 11-21-2014 2:55pm
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      • I don't think it's Q 11-21-2014 3:04pm
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      • Get. A. Life. 11-21-2014 5:04pm
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        • Says. The. Person. Not. Only. On Youbemom. But. Cleveland. 10 hr 8 min ago
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    • Perhaps she does not want a shout out? 11-21-2014 3:17pm
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    • Thanks! 11-21-2014 6:08pm
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  13. Cleveland Why would a man choose to be all emo, no sex? 11-21-2014 2:54am (8 replies)
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    • Has sexual issue, 11-21-2014 3:01am
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    • dh: no real man choose emo. 11-21-2014 6:38am
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    • DH here: men don't think emo is really cheating. 11-21-2014 8:47am
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      • what's the point of emo for a man? 11-21-2014 11:29am
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        • what do you mean the point? 11-21-2014 2:35pm
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        • attention, affirmation, distraction. same as for a woman. 11-21-2014 6:02pm
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    • Fucking another woman is a HUGE line to cross. The emo route is probably a lot safer in his eyes. Personally, I feel like emo is just a big tease. 11-21-2014 9:59am
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    • Because he is a little bitch? 11-21-2014 1:00pm
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  14. Cleveland I went looking for my stalker tonight. Lingered a bit in places. Decided to head back and heard familiar footsteps. I ran. Chickened out or wised up at the very last moment. 11-20-2014 11:52pm (14 replies)
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    • is this a guy you work with? 11-20-2014 11:54pm
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      • No. Neighborhood. 11-20-2014 11:56pm
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        • deets please. 11-20-2014 11:56pm
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          • op: He spots me & turns up places. Knows my schedule. I could be walking the dog, laudry or just coming home from work. He pops up. 11-21-2014 12:02am
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            • jesus. have you talked to him or is this some kind of boo radley guy? 11-21-2014 12:06am
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              • yes. we've spoken. kissed a few times. 11-21-2014 12:08am
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                • you're married, i assume. is he? 11-21-2014 12:09am
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                  • op:yes. He is. 11-21-2014 12:21am
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    • Please post back when he rapes and kills you then chops you up. Oh wait, I mean tell him to report back! 11-21-2014 12:23am
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    • Sweet so now you are the stalker. 11-21-2014 8:44am
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      • op:how ironic, no?! Glad I ran. Slept better 11-21-2014 11:19am
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    • You have no idea how dangerous and stupid this is. You think you are powerful, but you are being PLAYED. This stalker is a manipulative psychopath, and you cannot win a whatever...(more) 11-21-2014 8:52pm
      sick/crazy game he is playing. JUST STOP IT. You are too blind to see. Stop this nonsense, and report back in a few months how mortified you are that you ever behaved this way. Seriously, sister. It's nuts.
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      • op:Was in a bad place. Haven't seen him or have I had any desire to see him. thanks. 5 hr 29 min ago
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  15. Cleveland Things eventually come to an end.. It's hard sometimes, but have to keep moving forward. 11-20-2014 12:13pm (2 replies)
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    • yes. best to make most of them when in your life. 11-20-2014 1:01pm
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    • It is so true. It's hard to accept some day and others it's so freeing. 11-20-2014 2:27pm
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  16. Cleveland My period is due today. no sign of it, day is still young.. 11-20-2014 11:24am (9 replies)
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    • its your affairs baby? 11-20-2014 11:24am
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      • nah, I am sure I'll get it tonight. 11-20-2014 11:29am
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    • How old are you? 11-20-2014 11:26am
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      • 38. 11-20-2014 11:31am
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        • Probably not peri. I am sure it will come soon. :) Are you TTC? 11-20-2014 11:33am
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          • not at all. just usually like clock work. very difficult to get me pg. ty! 11-20-2014 11:36am
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    • Did you kiss your stalker yesterday? 11-20-2014 12:09pm
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      • he got her preggo 11-20-2014 2:26pm
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    • op:still no sign. I have been under a lot of stress, I am sure tomorrow it'll be here. 11-20-2014 9:50pm
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  17. Cleveland Well I kissed my stalker today. Anyone remember me? We kissed a few times before then I backed off, just cause. This is the guy who ran up the stairs chasing me, until I stopped...(more) 11-19-2014 8:22pm (6 replies)
    turned around to confront him. Anyway, today he saw saw me leave & waited for me to come back. We kissed. He is a bit aggressive. Might lead to being sloppy.
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    • What the fuck is the matter with you? Seriously. Stop it. Get your head out of your ass and realize this person is NOT GOOD FOR YOU. 11-19-2014 11:18pm
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      • i have no self worth. 11-20-2014 10:28am
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    • do you know this guy? 11-19-2014 11:33pm
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      • yes. years in fact. 11-20-2014 10:26am
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    • you have fab judgement 11-20-2014 10:24am
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  18. Cleveland It really is easier to let go when you have someone else to distract you. 11-19-2014 8:12pm (8 replies)
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    • Temporarily. Depends how deep your feelings really are. Superficial relationships are easy, but those that matter take time to resolve. 11-19-2014 8:15pm
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      • Yeah I'm trying this too. It's a very good distraction but in the middle of the night when it's quiet and the person next to you isn't that person it can hit you hard. But I don�...(more) 11-19-2014 8:20pm
        Have any other choice. I can only hope that he's feeling the same and will find a way to change it.
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        • June mom? 11-19-2014 8:23pm
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          • No but I was in a similar position once. I got divorced. 11-19-2014 8:24pm
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            • Strong. Good for you! 11-19-2014 8:27pm
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            • Ah, you are the one who told him to not contact you until he was free or you'd tell his wife. I'm in your boat too... But I'm not dating anyone else. 11-20-2014 12:34pm
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    • This is why I work on other options. 11-20-2014 2:52pm
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  19. Cleveland June mom here. Dhs in particular, he sent me this email this AM. What is he saying?...(more) 11-19-2014 5:43pm (36 replies)
    "I know Im giving you all kinds of mixed signals here, so Im really sorry about that.... I like seeing you, love chatting with you,.... and of course "being" with you is stuff that they write books about !!!! :))"
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    • it seems pretty straightforward to me. Try to stop obsessing over every word this guy utters. ITs really unhealthy 11-19-2014 5:45pm
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      • Op: this was in response to my asking if I can see him..... 11-19-2014 5:46pm
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        • np- then what do you think it meant? jeeez it was pretty clear 11-19-2014 5:47pm
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        • when are you going to learn? You need some tough love sister. THis isn't going anywhere. This has reduced you to picking apart every syllable this guy writes to you. For what? 11-19-2014 5:47pm
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      • seriously!! 11-19-2014 7:59pm
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    • YOU NEED HELP. STOP THIS!!!!! 11-19-2014 5:46pm
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      • Stop what exactly? 11-19-2014 5:46pm
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        • your 15 yo obsessing. enough already 11-19-2014 5:47pm
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    • Are you planning on leaving your family? serious question 11-19-2014 5:46pm
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      • Op: I wish I could. But I feel completely trapped in that I feel like I CANT leave. Societal, family, community...(more) 11-19-2014 5:50pm
        expectations, all loom heavy. As well as the seemingly insurmountable difficulties....
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        • then if that is your decision CUT TIES and learn how to live happily in the life you are choosing. 11-19-2014 5:51pm
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        • This is not healthy for your kids - this marriage of yours. 11-20-2014 10:15am
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      • Divorce isn't leaving her family. She needs to divorce. NEEDS TO. 11-20-2014 10:14am
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    • he wants to fuck you but doesn't know if its worth the risk to his marriage. 11-19-2014 5:47pm
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    • he's wants to but he's saying no. or at least he's not saying yes. 11-19-2014 6:42pm
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    • I am not a dh but that is a nice way of saying "i pass" this time. 11-19-2014 7:00pm
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      • but keeping her on the hook for the future 11-19-2014 10:26pm
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    • The wife needs to find out. Read all the shit they tell you to do on Surviving Infidelity and then you'll see what he is really made of. This back and forth between you two is...(more) 11-19-2014 7:15pm
      ridiculous. Too bad y'all didn't just move in June.
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      • NP-what happened in June? 11-19-2014 10:18pm
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        • June mom or aff was supposed to be moving far away in June of this year but plans changed. June was waiting for him to leave his family before the move, neither happened. 4 hr 36 min ago
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    • He wants analingus on all fours while you stroke his cock of course... 11-19-2014 7:56pm
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    • Does he tell you be loves you? 11-19-2014 8:07pm
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    • June mom! You are better than this and him. Stop this right now. I have btdt and you can stop. You can! But you have to make that mental shift - start living your life as though...(more) 11-19-2014 8:08pm
      he doesn't exist. He's a mess btw.
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    • You're on pause. 11-19-2014 8:11pm
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      • Eject that mother fucker 11-19-2014 8:21pm
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    • Do you not see the futility in focusing on one email or text. He is not leaving his family. Focus on yours. Do your really think you will be happy with this person day in and...(more) 11-20-2014 8:58am
      day out, going to the grocery store, dealing with being sick etc? Get a grip.
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    • So you asked if you could see him and he replied that seeing you is awesome. That is insanely stupid. It is exactly what you'd expect from a spineless ass who clearly thinks his...(more) 11-20-2014 12:36pm
      life is nothing but the actions of a puppet and fate happens to him. He is leaving it open so that you can plan it and see him but then it isn't his 'fault' and he isn't committing anything to you and doesn't have to feel guilty about it.
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      • Op: ita! I am pretty certain that if I were to reply saying point blank "I needed to see him" (my...(more) 11-20-2014 2:47pm
        Last email to which he sent above reply was a more indirect, flirtatious ask....) anyway, I'm certain he would. He will feel less "shitty" ( his word) about himself.....
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        • aren't your times together sort of ruined by all that has taken place? i think i wouldn't be able to ignore the negatives and it would interfere with even the best sex or at...(more) 11-20-2014 2:56pm
          least make me feel horrible after we left each other.
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        • What is your end goal here OP? What do you want to have happen? 11-20-2014 3:21pm
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          • ego stroked, also her life is likely empty without him or so she thinks 11-20-2014 4:30pm
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            • Op: I agree. Ego stroked. Why? Clearly, self-esteem issues. And yes, empty life. I'm reading a lot -...(more) 11-20-2014 5:35pm
              Re my issues.... I am not thinking long term at all. I just want the validation that he wants me...
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              • Form an end goal. Decide what you want out of this. Decide if it can get there. 11-21-2014 11:43am
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                • Op: that's what my therapist kind of is saying. Nth at I need to have a diff goal/find one. Anything. 12 hr 27 min ago
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                  • That is accurate. Decide what you want. Stop letting life lead you around by the ear. 4 hr 52 min ago
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  20. Cleveland Detox mom. How's it going? 11-19-2014 4:30pm (5 replies)
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    • Here I am. Was just about to post. He contacted me. wanting to do lunch tomorrow. I declined. It was not easy. We've been in contact back and awkwardl forth boting banter. Then...(more) 11-19-2014 8:05pm
      Just stopped. I think now he knows something is up, & I can't tell him to go away.
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      • Tell him. 11-19-2014 8:22pm
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        • op:I will. When & if he contacts me again. Thank you. How are you doing? 11-19-2014 8:27pm
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          • Pretty good. Having to make my own boundaries because he won't. The kindest thing you can do is tell him even if it's unpleasant for you. 11-19-2014 9:31pm
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            • op: you are right. I am afraid is all. Yes, setting boundaries is a good thing. You are worth it. 11-19-2014 10:52pm
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  21. Cleveland He replied to my 5 word email I sent about 10 days ago. 6 months ago this would have totally thrown me into hysterics and drama. Today it was just a little drama - mainly...(more) 11-19-2014 4:21pm (4 replies)
    annoyance with myself for broken no contact, but I also am able to see how far I've come in that hearing from him doesn't affect me too much anymore.
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    • fascinating 11-19-2014 5:48pm
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    • did you respond? 11-19-2014 8:07pm
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      • I did. His reply was longer and nice but restating the boundaries I drew when I cut it off. I told him in my reply that the boundaries are still in place, that I wrote that email...(more) 11-19-2014 8:24pm
        at a weak moment and to please not respond. I don't expect to hear from him.
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        • Hoping he stays away. You sou.ded firm enough. 11-19-2014 8:29pm
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  22. Cleveland Affair of 3 years and I had a weird, abrupt breakup in July - haven't talked since. We live in the same town, and so do my parents, who knew him (but not about the affair). He had...(more) 11-19-2014 12:25pm (8 replies)
    been very sweet and helped them with stuff and my mother once even baked him a treat. Now she is asking, with increasingly frequency and urgency, what has happened to him, and I don't know what to say. He'd had leukemia once, and she is worried he may be sick again. I don't know how much longer I can keep saying, "Oh, I haven't seen him in a while! Funny!"...what can I do? I have been thinking of calling or writing to him and saying, "Look, could you just please call my mother and say hello, because she is worried about you," but I'm worried he'll think I'm trying to get back together with him and using it as an excuse. WWYD? TIA.
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    • Tell Mom he is fine and said to say hello. 11-19-2014 12:26pm
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      • I'm worried it will just give way to my having to lie even more. She'll ask a bunch of questions; she's like that. Ugh. I keep hoping she'll just stop asking but she's only as...(more) 11-19-2014 12:27pm
        more!
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    • No, do not even engage him. Your right to be free of that shit is trumped by her right to know about him. FWIW I have been in a similar position as your ex affair. I would think...(more) 11-19-2014 2:27pm
      the same.
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      • ^ and you are looking for a reason to contact him. All you have to do is tell your mom that he is well but there was a falling out or you are too busy or something. 11-19-2014 2:28pm
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    • I think you are looking for an excuse to keep ties somehow - like your parents knowing him means that some day down the road you could use that. Just tell your mom you had a bit...(more) 11-19-2014 3:28pm
      of a fight and don't like talking to him. Then let it go.
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      • this. if done. be done. 11-19-2014 8:08pm
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        • OP: Thanks. I really, truly, don't want more contact. I'll either tell my mom he 11-20-2014 10:15am
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          • Oops, I'll tell Mom he's fine or that we had a falling out. 11-20-2014 10:16am
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  23. Cleveland Woods, posted to toddler! "Do you talk dirtier with affair then DH? What do you say during sex? " 11-18-2014 10:06pm (1 reply)
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    • fuck me so deep and unload in me, your cock is in my pussy but i want it in my outh and pussy. 11-19-2014 12:10am
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  24. Cleveland After a dry spell for a month all 3 coming back. Was with fwb last week, affair saturday, fwb again today. 3rd guy suddenly coming back. Crazy as hell 1 min ago (1 reply)...(more) 11-18-2014 7:33pm (7 replies)
    I had so many bruises from saturday I left my shirt on today lol
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    • fwb? 11-18-2014 7:34pm
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      • Friend with benefits 11-18-2014 7:35pm
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    • LOLOLOLOL 11-18-2014 7:38pm
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    • Does DH have any clues? 11-18-2014 10:01pm
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      • If dh loves her, he is clueless because he trusts her. 11-19-2014 12:54am
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        • ^^ if he caches her, he will look bark and see all the clues he missed. 11-19-2014 1:01am
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  25. Cleveland Dhs - why do you have affairs? Is it because you just want more sex or are you unhappy in your marriaga? 11-18-2014 3:41pm (56 replies)
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    • thrill 11-18-2014 3:41pm
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      • this, why do we think it is because she is prettier or we are too fat? 11-18-2014 3:42pm
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      • if this is it, do you really feel like it's worth the risk? 11-18-2014 3:55pm
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        • That thrill is like a crack high. I'm serious. You find yourself doing crazy things and risking so much for that high 11-18-2014 8:40pm
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    • there is no one answer, just like there is no one way of being married. 11-18-2014 3:42pm
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      • are you a dh? what is it for you? 11-18-2014 3:54pm
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        • no, I'm a woman. but I konw men and women who have had affairs, and there was no one reason. 11-18-2014 3:54pm
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    • DH here. would you like to discuss over email? 11-18-2014 3:46pm
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      • what's your email? 11-18-2014 3:55pm
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    • I love my wife and we have regular sex, I have a very high sex drive and frankly I am a shade too kinky for my wife. I crave the variety. 11-18-2014 4:41pm
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      • how often do you see your affair? 11-18-2014 8:17pm
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    • Honestly you are going to get more women answering this the way they want their DH to have been thinking. 11-18-2014 5:14pm
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    • I love my dw. We have great sex. I just want more variety. I usually trade down. My wife is smart and beautiful. If I get caught it is going to kill both of us. 11-18-2014 6:39pm
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      • Notice how he says he trades down. ladies this is how many if your affairs truly are thinking about many of you and how they compare you to...(more) 11-18-2014 7:10pm
        their wives.
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        • Dh. This. Any guy I've ever known to have an affair trades down in some way. For me, the down-trade was affair has jacked up teeth. Great body, great personality, pretty, but bad...(more) 11-18-2014 7:14pm
          teeth.
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          • Np - I'm much prettier then his dw. She has a much more toned body though. 11-18-2014 7:45pm
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            • and you're more defensive LMAO 11-18-2014 8:12pm
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              • I'm not. I just stated a fact that is true. I am prettier. She has a better body. So he could absolutely be cheating down if what you're into is bodies. 11-18-2014 8:14pm
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                • your "facts" sounds subjective at best 11-18-2014 8:15pm
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                  • Well I am chubby or curvy depending on how you look at it. But I do have a pretty face 11-18-2014 8:24pm
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                    • well then I would need to see you from the back on all fours side by side his DW to make this determination 11-18-2014 8:28pm
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                      • She would definitely look better I think. 11-18-2014 8:32pm
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                        • And she can't rock back half as hard as you do! 11-18-2014 8:33pm
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                          • Probably not. Although I also am more into different things then she is. 11-18-2014 8:53pm
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                • np the whole trading up or down is a subjective, ita. 11-18-2014 8:16pm
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          • this made me laugh. of course every person has *something* better than another. if teeth is all you can come up with, who cares. 11-18-2014 8:13pm
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            • Post your chompers Camilla 11-18-2014 8:14pm
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              • i had braces :) 11-18-2014 8:17pm
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          • Liar. You are the same poster who said her affair told her she had jacked teeth. Good one though it made me laugh 11-18-2014 8:41pm
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          • np:I do this with men as well. 11-19-2014 8:10pm
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        • I agree. My husband adores me. If he fucked someone would be just that. A fuck. 11-18-2014 7:41pm
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          • If he truly adores you, he won't risk your marriage and family by fucking someone else. 11-19-2014 10:51am
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      • there's no question i'm a better total package than his dw. 11-18-2014 8:14pm
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        • beauty is in the eye of th beholder. 11-18-2014 8:29pm
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          • total package includes way more than beauty. 11-18-2014 8:35pm
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            • Not for a fuck it don't 11-18-2014 8:36pm
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              • you're convinced it's just a fuck but it isn't. hence, total package baby. 11-18-2014 8:38pm
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                • Your idea of the best total package, may not be the same as someone elses. People value things differently. You may be more beautiful and have a great body, but others may not...(more) 11-18-2014 8:45pm
                  rate them as high as other characteristics.
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                  • yes, i agree. but that's why i keep saying total package. i think we're at the same level physically and he may or may not think one of us is more attractive but i'm...(more) 11-18-2014 8:58pm
                    more intellectual, more interesting, more fun.
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                    • ^and i don't want him to leave her. 11-18-2014 8:59pm
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                      • So in your mind, your affair traded up? In the great scheme of things, except for your ego, I don't really think it matters. Men have affairs for SEX, that is why trading down is...(more) 11-18-2014 9:15pm
                        not a big issue when them. It isn't like they have to live with you 24-7.
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                        • Whatever you want to believe. Because no man ever leaves his wife for an affair. It's just sex. 11-18-2014 9:25pm
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                          • What is my comment made you think I suggested that a dh would leave his dw? 11-18-2014 9:38pm
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                            • You said it was only for sex. 11-18-2014 9:42pm
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        • Ditto. 11-18-2014 9:24pm
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      • Haha. Fake. 11-18-2014 9:22pm
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        • In general, in affairs, men usually trade down, women trade up. 11-18-2014 9:28pm
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          • Link? 11-18-2014 9:42pm
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            • http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/why-men-cheat.html...(more) 11-19-2014 3:18pm
              Men are more likely than women to cheat with someone who is less attractive than their current partner. Women cheat up while men are more opportunistic when it comes to cheating.
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              • very scholarly 11-19-2014 4:22pm
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          • no they all trade down-all affairs-the cheating and lies devalue all cheaters 11-18-2014 9:47pm
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      • ^^ Let me rephrase. I have affairs with someone that I would never consider marrying. 11-18-2014 10:47pm
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    • people are missing the point-it is not whether affair or DW is more beautiful, it is that many DH think they are affairing down-and that says a lot about how hey feel about women...(more) 11-18-2014 9:45pm
      they are cheating with
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      • I have no doubt mine knew he was going up. 11-18-2014 9:47pm
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    • I would have an affair because I could find a woman to connect with on a personal level that could evolve into a sexual relationship. 11-18-2014 10:34pm
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